Standard Fire Orders
Fight fire at your leisure to provide for ample overtime.
Initiate any kind of action that leads to even more overtime.
Recognize potential milking situations.
Ensure that at least ten times the necessary food and supplies are ordered.
Obtain more air support than was used at the invasion of Normandy.
Remain in air conditioned truck as long as possible.
Determine locations of prime napping and loafing areas.
Establish dominance and supreme authority over enlisted firefighters.
Retain time sheet at all times to provide for mythical hours worked.
Stay semi-conscious, keep the expensive fancy bottle water cold, think your actions
are actually saving the resource, and thank the Almighty for the American taxpayer.
by XXXXXXXXXXXX (they're still with the Agency)