Minstrel's Musings*Poetry, riddles, and various ramblings...
My first is in wield, sever bones and marrow.
My second is in blade, forged in cold steel.
My third is in arbalest, and also in arrows.
My fourth is in power, plunged through a shield.
My fifth is in honour, and also in vows
My last will put an end to it all.
What am I?
[Brian F.; this is a tough one!]
*
You Asked.....
You ask what I've seen,
do you really want to know?
I've seen joy and contentment,
and I've seen sorrow.
I've worked on rescue and in the ER,
and have tried to "cure" addicts.
Now I do physicals, heal workers,
and treat sports fanatics.
I've seen a lot...
stuff to inspire,
and much to tire,
my mind, my emotion, and ..... my feet.
.............
I have delivered a vibrant, healthy, glowing newborn baby boy and laughed with
his parents as he screamed his first cry of anger. I watched his mother (who
two minutes before had completed 14 hours of labor) go from exhausted to
wondrous to protective matron with the energy of a mad mother bear.
I have had to use a respiratory bag to help a four pound, five week premature,
crack baby take his first breath. The mother was wearing hand cuffs during
the delivery and was taken out of the room without ever seeing the girl she
brought into the world...to what end?
...........
I've seen a twelve year old pregnant child who was full of pride at her
accomplishment.
I've seen a thirty year old woman who, when she was told she was pregnant,
ask, without hesitation, where the nearest abortion clinic was.
...........
I've undressed women in front of their husbands (to do an EKG, etc..........)
I've had men undress themselves in front of me - and give me a smile
(shudder).
(and then had to catheterize them while they squirmed in pain)
...........
I have seen a true witch - complete with warts, bad hair, mystic jewelry, and
an admission that she was a black magic practitioner. She was only there
because she was out of her herbs ("really!", she says..). By the way, she
was in "tuna alley", the row of ER rooms dedicated to ob/gyn patients; she had
a bad case of PID (better known as STD's or sexually transmitted diseases).
Bet she didn't get it from her broomstick.......
I've seen a living hill giant. The 'man' was 7' 5" tall and weighed 464
pounds. His skin was deeply tanned and thick as leather (I know, I had to
draw blood from him), he had a sloping forehead that shaded his little beady
eyes, and the top of his head had just a few wisps of dark brown, oily hair.
He had arms that reached to his knees and hands about as long as my foot. He
spoke with a stutter and used only basic words. His profession was a laborer
in construction. Now the scary part - I had to test his lungs with a
spirometer, which requires the participant to blow as hard and as long as he
can into a tube. Lots of people (especially those with high blood pressure)
get dizzy and pass out when doing this test. ...... As he was falling I was
cursing my stupidity for not having a chair behind him. I strained my back
and, at best, I succeeded only in keeping his head from bouncing off the
floor. The rest of him fell like a tree (a big one).
Oh, and I have seen an admitted cleric. Although, she wasn't very wise or
religious. She used foul language when I pointed to her physical form and
told her she had misspelled "clerk".
.............
I've been to a motorcycle accident at four in the morning. A call was made by
a passing motorist who saw a motorcycle lying in a ditch on the side of the
road. It took us a few minutes to locate the rider of the cycle. He had
miscalculated a turn going over 70mph and gone into the ditch where his front
tire stuck in the mud (did I mention it had been raining). The rider was
thrown over the front of the bike, his legs struck the handlebars, and both
femurs (thigh bones) had open comminuted fractures (fractures with multiple
pieces sticking through the skin). That slowed him down just a bit as he flew
into the woods on the other side of the ditch. He went through two 3"
diameter saplings, and continued approximately 40' into the woods. We found
him at the base of a large pine tree that had finally stopped his flight. He
had the femur fractures, crepitus in his chest (which usually indicates
multiple rib fractures), a tight, hard abdomen (which indicates internal
bleeding), a closed left arm fracture, and multiple cuts and contusions to his
head and face. He never regained consciousness while we were transporting him
(concussion) but I heard that he did survive....(and probably asked when he
could ride again.......).
I have inserted my hand into a man's chest and manually pumped his heart while
the doc's tried desperately to sew up the hole in his aorta (main artery). He
was a victim of a drive-by shooting. He was the passenger in his friend's car
and they were parked beside a convenience store drinking coffee before they
went to work. He took two shots to his chest and later died. His friend was
shot in the head (glancing shot), the abdomen (with no exit wound), the hip,
and the thigh (through the door), and yet he still was able to drive the two
of them six miles to the hospital (he lived). Both were good men with young
kids - they never found out who shot them.........(the moral is...don't hang
out at the Jiffy)
...............
I have seen Frick! Pointed ears, hairy eyebrows, proper stance, big teeth,
the works! He even spoke in a high pitched voice.
I have seen patients that have reminded me of every one of the Knights,
including Ralph. Although the one that reminded me of Vic was a gay alcoholic
(or maybe....Vic were you in Jax in 95'?).
I have seen the remains of a man after a four ton pre-fab concrete wall feel
on him. A new Walmart was being built and the crane holding the wall wasn't
supported properly. The stabilizing foot of the crane sunk into the soft dirt
it was over and the wall came tumbling down. The man's entire body was
crushed and his hard hat was flattened like it was aluminum. When the wall
was finally lifted with special pressure bags, they hooked the man's remains
and slid him out from under the wall. All that was left was a two inch thick
corpse. Why two inches? That was the height of the supports in his steel toe
boots - they weren't even bent.
................
I have told medical workers that their HIV tests were negative and that they
could (probably) count on it staying that way.
I have had to tell a nurse she was positive for HIV, and sit quietly while her
world crumbled around us. She was the mother of two young girls and was
exposed from a needle stick from a needle that a surgeon had thrown carelessly
into a pile of surgical drapes. Thankfully, I could tell her that the
mortality rate for HIV is greatly reduced and that if she does the right
things, she could live a normal life span... but, of course, not a normal (is
there such a thing anyway?) life..........
...............
I have seen a six year old's brain tissue swell and exit her skull through the
cracks that her aunt's car tires put in it. The aunt was babysitting the
girl, decided she needed some more smokes, told the girl to get in the car,
and backed up before the girl could get into the back seat. The open back
door knocked the girl down and the aunt didn't realize something was wrong
until she felt the front wheel drive over the girl's head. The aunt was
frantic and had to be sedated. She wasn't screaming about the child, she
wanted to know if she was going to be arrested.......
I have seen a high school football player who broke his neck in a game and
would be a paraplegic (most likely) for the rest of his life. His room was
sterile because he had developed a nosocomial infection (he picked it up at
the hospital). His friends and classmates and his family and his team all
convinced the hospital to sterilize the gifts that they brought. His room was
full of stuffed animals, posters, and trophies. The outpouring of support
touched the player and he had a better attitude about his future than most
healthy high schoolers do. Oh, and yeah, his team won the game that night.......
..................
I have treated a ninety-eight year old woman whose extremities were already in
classic rigor mortis even though she still had a heartbeat and a traceable
brain wave. She had a fourth degree decubitus ulcer on her hip (a bed sore
that had rotted to her hip bone leaving the bone exposed). She had been in
the same position for three years, unmoving, and her joints, muscles, and
connective tissue had already calcified. She was fed through a stomach tube
and relieved through more appropriate tubes. This one made me finally fill
out a living will.......
I have treated a hundred and two year old woman who had the most radiant
smile and pleasant personality. She had more spunk and was more alive than
patients three fourths her age. As I did her EKG she quoted Macbeth; when I
failed to recognize the quote she chided me and made me promise to read it..
It seems she had been an English teacher... 102 and still teaching.......(does
this remind you of an English teacher in Crescent City .....the age
anyway....)
..................
I have seen Santa Clause die - two days before Christmas. A store Santa (I
hope), complete with the red outfit and bushy white beard (it was real) went
into cardiac arrest and was pronounced dead after we worked him for fifteen
minutes. In my zeal to do compressions (cpr) I cracked his sternum. Did I
kill Santa? I swear he wouldn't have made it anyway.
I have seen a corpse move on Halloween. I was taking a recently deceased to
the morgue when rigor began and his hands (we tie them together) slowly began
to push against the body bag. (actually this happens fairly regularly, that
and noises - you should hear some of the sounds a corpse can make!)
..................
I have worked on a burn victim with burns over 90% of her body, including
respiratory system burns. One of the worst smells I've ever experienced..
(she died - thankfully)
I have helped to put out a fire in a trailer....... and found about 20
corpses......they were prize saltwater fish that had been boiled in their
tank. Anybody got tarter sauce?
..................
I have stepped in blood and puke, and feces and urine, and brought in the 1996
New Year by comforting a drunk while he vomited on my new (white) sneakers..
(I did, however, get several pecks on the cheek by the nurses on duty!)
I have worked with members of the ROAR (the Jaguars cheerleaders) who were
also nurses and physicians assistants. I have (recently) done physicals on
all the members of the ROAR.... and the Jags! (Some are really that big....
others.... well, lets just say that one of my co-workers had to ask Mike
Hollis (kicker) if he was supposed to be in the clinic).
.....................
And there are more, so many more memories I wouldn't trade, bad or good.
As for now.........
I help to treat the Lizard Kings (semi-pro hockey) and discovered that semi-pro
is a free drug league as opposed to a drug free league.
I assist the doc I work with with the sports program at UNF.
I assist the doc I work with with his makeup every wednesday morning (he has a
radio show "Ask Dr. Joe" and does regular appearances on cable shows and
channel 25 sports segments.)
I do stress tests and lung tests, extensive eye tests and audio tests. I do
drug screens and breath alcohol tests (these alone would make another list),
administer vaccines and IV's. I do physicals on people from local trucking
businesses to the FBI. I treat people with on-the-job injuries from Burger
King to the US Border Patrol.
etc.,etc.,etc........
The things I have done,
these are just a few,
The things that I've seen,
perhaps you've seen too.
I feel blooded and confident,
though each day teaches more.
I enjoy what I do,
and thrive in the gore.
Each new patient brings a story their own....
My heart, in pain, has roared,
My spirit, with hope, has soared,
Each new day brings .......success and defeat...........
"Oh its hard living life on this memory-go-round,
always up, always down, spinning 'round and 'round and 'round"
(ten brownie points for the first one to remember where I got that quote)
Your brother Knight,
Grim
*
My first is foremost legally,
My second circles outwardly,
My third leads all in victory,
My fourth ends twice a nominee
My whole is this gates only key.
What am I?
[Brian F.; this has the same pattern as the first...]
*
WebRPG is a site devoted to roleplaying. It often contains interesting articles,
but my favorite feature has always been its Top 20 surveys.
They are often amusing and will quickly remind you of some of our old games.
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