Kemper Arena - Promoter Joe LeBron
(FADE TO: Complete and total static.... faint at first... then growing in intensity..... until it becomes almost unbearable.... then suddenly.... without warning... the static ceases.... it is now replaced by utter and complete silence.... MOMENTARY SILENCE that is until we hear......)
V/O: "He's holding him high in the air!! OH!! He just
dropped him into a DIAMOND CUTTER!!"
V/O: OH MY GOD!! He just pulled PCS up and held him by the crotch as he power bombed him!! (CUTTO: "Boy Toy" Beau Michaels applying the 'Groan of Pleasure' on Pop Culture Superhero)
V/O: "..... in a TESTICULAR CLAW!! GOOD LORD, that HAS to be PAINFUL!!" (CUTTO: Madonna Wayne Grossard trapping Darren MacMillan in a compromising situation)
V/O: "..... leaps on the top rope, bounces off that and does a split-legged moonsault ..... MY GOD!! What a move!! (CUTTO: Sage catching Kerrigan off guard with his amazing agility)
V/O: "There are no lies, only truths!! You're just in a state of denial!" (CUTTO: Jake Shades confronting FWF VP Malec during the inaugural Kiel Center Card)
(Suddenly the screen begins to show clips of ALL the FWF superstars.... a seemingly endless collage of legends to be, promising rookies, future Icons.... all one after the other.... increasing in speed until it's just too fast for the eye to follow.... then SUDDENLY and without warning.... the screen goes momentarily blank.... then from the middle of the screen a small dot races toward us.... as it gets closer.... we begin to make out a shape.... as it hits the screen we see that it is a giant 'F'.... quickly followed by a 'W'..... quickly followed by another 'F'...!! They come together as the word 'FRONTIER' races toward the letters and as it nears the 'FWF' logo.... the screen EXPLODES as we are immediately taken to the inside of the Kemper Arena where the THUNDEROUS roar of the fans attempt to drown out the voices of the FWF's 'Triple Threat' commentating team of TONY ROSS, VICTOR ALVAREZ and JAKE SHADES......)
TONY ROSS: HELLO EVERYONE!! Welcome to the FWF's 'INVASION OF THE NEW FRONTIER'!! I'm Tony Ross here at the Kemper Arena in beautiful Kansas City MO, along with my CO-host Victor Alvarez and this is..... (gives a perplexed look as he looks at the empty chair beside him) ... well, this WILL BE where Jake Shades will be when he arrives. Anyway Victor, the FWF definitely made its presence known at the Kiel Center recently in St. Louis a few weeks back!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony, they certainly did!! That was ONE HELL of a premiere for the FWF! But I gotta tell ya Tony, how can you POSSIBLY expect anything less with the WIDE VARIETY of TALENT assembled by the team of LeBron, Malec and McCann!?
TONY ROSS: Oh... NO DOUBT ABOUT IT! You'll have to look LONG and HARD to find ANY league with such a talented roster! Not to ment.... (INTERRUPTED as Jake Shades appears... he is out of breath as he takes a seat...)
JAKE SHADES: Hey Man! What's the idea starting the show WITHOUT ME!?! After I risk LIFE and LIMB to get these for us (tosses them each an FWF T-shirt) the LEAST you could've done was DELAY the show 'til I ARRIVED!!
(Ross and Alvarez exchange absurd expressions)
TONY ROSS: Uh huh... (examines the T-shirt which has a huge image of JAKE SHADES on the chest) You know Jake... you REALLY shouldn't have gone to any trouble, especially since I would rather be locked in a RUBBER ROOM with FERRIT FANATIC and BERSERKER DAVE before I would EVER wear ANYTHING with YOUR image on it!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: I can top that Tony... I would rather be locked in a cell with MWG than to put this on... (raises up the T-shirt and notices a few tears along the shoulders) What happened here Shades? You snatched this from a child who wouldn't let go?
JAKE SHADES: Hey man... what do you take me for? It was an OLD LADY! Man she was strong too! If I hadn't kicked her walker out from underneath her, those bony little claws of hers woulda' NEVER let go!! Hey Victor.... NOW I know WHY you always start combing your hair and get that WILD look in yer eye whenever Grossard enters the ring!
(Tony just stares in disbelief at Shades as Victor drops and shakes his head.....)
TONY ROSS: Enough of this nonsense! I'm not gonna get suckered into this lunacy! (shakes his head as he gives Shades one last glare...) Fans... I apologize for this RIDICULOUS interruption.... Like I was about to say before SOMEONE (looks toward Shades who is picking his nose) interrupted by arriving LATE.... was that if you thought the Kiel Center rocked then we're gonna BLOW THE ROOF right off the Kemper Arena tonight!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: That's right Tony! Tonight the FWF invades the Kemper Arena with 'TWELVE MATCHES'!!
JAKE SHADES: (does a double take) 'TWELVE MATCHES'?!? Hey, NOBODY told me anything about 'TWELVE MATCHES'!! I BETTER see some OVERTIME PAY on my NEXT check!! Talent like mine don't come cheap ya know!
TONY ROSS: Yeah... whatever... Anyway, scheduled to appear tonight are the likes of 'POOR' BUTCH CLAMPETT -vs- APOCALYPSE, 'CHILD PRODIGY' JOHNNY HAVENS -vs- the 'FAN FLAVOR' WAYNE ROBERTS and 'BAD COMPANY' BRIAN LAWLER -vs- the 'BOY TOY' BEAU MICHAELS!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony, it's names like THAT and the TALENT they represent that fills these seats to capacity! But let's not forget the other headliners like SAGE -vs- D-BALL, the double debut of the 'ANTI-CHRIST' XAVIER OSBOURNE -vs- 'TRIPLE E' EROTIC ERIC EVANS, VENOM -vs- GRAND THEFT, also...
(INTERRUPTED...)
JAKE SHADES: What the hell!?!? We all KNOW who's appearing tonight and who's fighting who so why don't you cut the melodramatics and get this show on the road already!!!
TONY ROSS: Let me get this straight... you were upset with us because we DIDN'T delay the show until your arrival, which is in MY opinion, NO GREAT LOSS, and NOW you have the audacity to be upset because the show ISN'T starting fast enough for you?? What is it Jake? You got money riding on any of these matches??
JAKE SHADES: HEY WHO TOLD!?!?! I bet it was that (BLEEP) (BLEEP) (BLEEEEEEEEEEP) MALEC, wasn't it?? Hey!?! What's up with the CENSORS? I thought that (BLEEP) LeBron abolished them? And just to set the record straight... I DON'T have money riding on "ANY" of these matches... it's ALL OF THE MATCHES SO GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT!!
TONY ROSS: I thought you didn't know there were 12 matches?
JAKE SHADES: And since WHEN do you believe ANYTHING I say?
VICTOR ALVAREZ: You bet money on the matches? you can't... (INTERRUPTED...)
TONY ROSS: Trust me Victor... (shakes his head) If there's ANYTHING I've learned from my previous dealings with this... this.. (sighs) this man, is that he just craves attention so do yourself a favor and just ignore his ignorance!
JAKE SHADES: Hey! You couldn't ignore MY IGNORANCE even if you tried!! Hey.... wait a minute! That didn't come out right!
TONY ROSS: (laughing along with Victor Alvarez) No Jake... FOR ONCE you have said something that I ABSOLUTELY AGREE WITH!! Fans, we won't keep you in suspense any longer... let's go down to ring announcer Paul Kramer as he introduces the first match of the evening! Take it away Paul!!
(Cameras begin to pan the arena as we see a multitude of fans, young and old alike, getting caught up in the excitement of the FWF's INVASION tour! As the cameras swing back and forth we can see an ocean of black T-shirts, an old lady smiles sweetly as she wears an FWF T-shirt displaying a picture of the 'Anti-Christ' Xavier Osbourne, another person, a small child wears a Helix shirt, while a gorgeous, very well ENDOWED, blonde woman, wears a Madonna Wayne Grossard T-shirt and ironically enough, Grossard's eyes just happen to be staring up at her chest as he exposes his tongue in a lecherous manner, almost as if the shirt were designed with HER just in mind! The camera then swings over to the ring where Paul Kramer has just entered.... his timid features comically out of place here.... as the mike is lowered down to him from the rafters.... the crowd reacts with a thunderous roar as they see that Invasion is about to get underway!!)
(The Kemper Arena virtually EXPLODES with the fans' THUNDEROUS reaction as the FWF ring announcer, Paul Kramer, raises the mike to his lips, looks around timidly, and with a blaring voice that belies his demanor, he drowns out the overly excited crowd.....)
PAUL KRAMER: LAAAAAAAADIIIEEEEEES and GEEEENTLEEEEEMEEEEEEN! The FWF PROUDLY presents.... THE INVASION OF THE NEW FRONTIER!! (crowd reacts with ear-splitting cheers) Our referee for our first series of matches is Danny Diaper! Now, for our first match of the evening... weighing in at 231 lbs.! Standing at 6'-2" and hailing from the Smokey Mountains.... he boasts an impressive undefeated streak in the NAWF.... his is "POOR"... BUTCH... CLAAAAAMPEEEETTT!!
(Crowd cheers wildly as "Poor" Butch Clampett makes his way down the aisle, carrying a small cage containing what appears to be a rat, stopping occasionally along the way as fans reach out to touch his tattered, raggedy clothes and shake his hand... he then places the cage on the ring apron by his corner and rolls underneath the bottom ring rope and starts pacing back and forth... awaiting his opponent.....)
PAUL KRAMER: And his opponent... standing at an IMPOSING 6'-11" and weighing in at 300 lbs., he is a former DHW Heavy Weight and Hardcore Champion, from parts unknown... he's .... APOCALYYYYYYYPSEEEE!!
(CUE UP: Beethovan's Moonlight Sonata as the entrance lights dim as a huge silhouette emerges... he just stands there, with the fans booing and jeering.... he raises his arms toward the rafters and then an explosion of lights erupts and we see the ominous figure of Apocalypse as he begins to make his way down the aisle... the full body suit that he wears adds to the aura of danger that surrounds this man... he gives away absolutely NO HINT to his identity whatsoever! As he nears the ring, a fan makes the costly mistake of striking Apocalypse square on the head with a full container of what appears to be beer... the fan obviously too drunk or stupid to realize his proximity as Apocalypse reaches out... lifts him up by the face with ONE HAND and tosses him into the crowd! Security immediately races toward Apocalypse but stop dead in their tracks as Apocalypse turns, faces them, and urges them to step forward. Seeing that security would have no part of him he suddenly turns and races to the ring.... diving underneath the ropes and attacks Clampett!!)
TONY ROSS: DID YOU SEE THE STRENGTH OF APOCALYPSE!!
JAKE SHADES: DID YOU SEE THE POTENCY OF THAT BEER?? Man, if a beer could give me a buzz enough to do something THAT stupid... then THAT'S the beer for ME!
TONY ROSS: Shades, you don't need ANYTHING to act stupid... it comes NATURAL to you!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Apocalypse shows good speed for a man of his size. Quite frankly I'm surprised that he was able to catch Clampett off guard like that!
TONY ROSS: I don't think Clampett ever knew what hit him! Apocalypse, now has him in the middle of the ring... he wraps those huge hands around Clampett's throat and lifts him straight up in the air. A BLATANT two-fisted choke hold as he stands in the middle of the ring holding Clampett up by the throat as Diaper begins the count!
JAKE SHADES: He's lucky that's not me there... I woulda' escaped from that hold LONG AGO!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Actually, I wish it WERE you in there!
TONY ROSS: And Apocalypse finally releases the choke hold by tossing Clampett clear across the ring!! What strength this guy possesses! He just totally ignores Diaper as he stalks Clampett who is now struggling to his feet.
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Well remember Tony, Apocalypse still has some unresolved issues from his match at the Kiel Center against Reign Chancellor.
TONY ROSS: That's right... and he certainly seems to be taking it out on Clampett right now as he grabs Clampett's head now and starts slamming it against the turnbuckle!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Clampett is in serious trouble here. If he doesn't do something to turn it around soon this will turn into one of the shortest matches in FWF history!
JAKE SHADES: GOOD! the ONLY things hillbillies are good for anyway are making MOONSHINE!! That and inbreeding of course!
TONY ROSS: Which must explain the reason for YOUR existence Shades.
JAKE SHADES: Oh yeah... well you can just FU.... (INTERRUPTED...)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: OH NO! Clampett in REAL trouble now!! Apocalypse has him up on the turnbuckle.... he's climbing up after him and he's got him hooked for a superplex....
TONY ROSS: OH!!! LOW BLOW by Clampett!! And Apocalyse drops like a stone holding his groin!
JAKE SHADES: Oh yeah... Clampett learned that move from GRANNY when she used to do it on JETHRO all the time! Heh heh heh....
TONY ROSS: Will you please stop your nonsense and do what you're being paid for!
JAKE SHADES: I am... I'm telling it like it is and annoying you just happens to be one of the percs!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Clampett waits for Apocalypse to get up...
TONY ROSS: That's a smart move on his part, he's taking the time he needs to recuperate while he waits to make his move. And there he goes with a drop kick to the face that sends Apocalypse crashing back down to the mat!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony would you look at Clampett now?? He looks like a man possessed!!
TONY ROSS: He certainly does! And he's about to let Apocalypse feel his wrath now as he pulls the big man to his feet and sends him to the ropes.... BACK BODY DROP!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony did you SEE the ELEVATION he got on that?!? Pretty impressive power from the smaller man, Clampett!
JAKE SHADES: Hey with the kinda KICK that HOMEMADE 'shine carries, I'm surprised he didn't send him through the rafters!
TONY ROSS: (trying to ignore Shades' remark as he shakes his head) Apcocalypse is the one in trouble now as he starts favoring his back! Clampett circles around him and proceeds to give him a series of 'mule kicks' right to the spine!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: OH MY GOD!! Just listen to the IMPACT of those kicks Tony! It hurts just listening to it!
JAKE SHADES: I know the feeling... it hurts just listening to YOU guys!
TONY ROSS: Heck Victor... the echo STILL resounds in my ears! Apocalypse is REALLY in trouble now as Clampett applies the STF... Apocalypse desperately needs to get to the ropes... INCREDIBLE!! He's literally dragging himself WITH Clampett ON HIS BACK!! Inching his way to the ropes... he's almost there... HE'S GOT IT! And Diaper starts the count to break the hold!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: I can't believe Apocalypse was able to with stand that amount of pain! Any normal man would've been history by now!
TONY ROSS: Well it just goes to show you the HIGH CALIBER of athletes that the FWF has signed up!
JAKE SHADES: OH PLEASE!! If THAT were the case they woulda' signed ME!!
TONY ROSS: As much as I would like to see that... the FWF DOESN'T sign JOBBERS!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Right now I think Apocalypse wishes Shades were there in HIS place!
JAKE SHADES: Hey (BLEEP) YOU BOTH!! And (BLEEP) these (BLEEP) censors!! In fact... give me back my (BLEEP) T-shirts!!
TONY ROSS: With pleasure! (tosses the T-shirt right in Shades face) Anything to keep you quiet! Clampett grabs a hold of Apocalypse's legs now but Apocalypse hangs on to the ropes... OH!! Clampett YANKS HARD and Apocalypse goes FACE FIRST into the MAT!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony there seems to be some sort of commotion going on in the front row....
TONY ROSS: I see.. it looks as if someone has come through the crowd and took a seat right in the front row.. OH MY GOD!! VICTOR... do you know who that is??
VICTOR ALVAREZ: I certainly do Tony... that's ADAM GREENE!! He dropped out of site a while back and no one has heard from him since!! Why is he here Tony... does he have some sort of alliance with either of these two men?
TONY ROSS: I don't know Victor, but it looks as if we're gonna find out as our "On The Spot" correspondent, Wilson "The Pest" Hazard makes his way to him!
WILSON HAZARD: Excuse me... please... outta my way... uh hello... er.. excuse me... aren't you ADAM GREENE?
(Greene ignores him as he continues to watch the action in the ring.... a smirk on his face....)
WILSON HAZARD: Excuse me... I'm sure there must be SOMETHING you want to say??
ADAM GREENE: GOD DAMN!! THESE PEOPLE CAN'T WRESTLE!!
WILSON HAZARD: What are you talking about?? These two are potential MAIN EVENTERS in ANY arena in the world! Do you actually think you can do any better?
ADAM GREENE: You're DAMN STRAIGHT I can!!
WILSON HAZARD: Then why don't you prove it by giving the FWF a try??
ADAM GREENE: I had enough of you... GET OUTTA MY FACE!!
WILSON HAZARD: Well Tony... there you have it... ANOTHER man who TALKS a big fight... back to you Tony....
TONY ROSS: Well Victor, I don't know WHAT Greene's intentions are but somehow I don't think he's here merely as a spectator!
JAKE SHADES: Hey YOU gonna commentate on the match or play 20 questions?!? Do your job man!!
(Ross and Alvarez give each other incredulous looks and shake their heads....)
TONY ROSS: All right, back to the action here... Clampett straddles Apocalypse's back now, wraps his hands under the big man's chin and begins to pull back while he plants a knee FIRMLY in the small of his back! MAN THAT HAS GOT TO HURT!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Apparently it DOES as Apocalypse screams out in obvious agony!
JAKE SHADES: BIG WUSSY!!
TONY ROSS: Diaper in there asking Apocalypse if he wants to submit.. Apocalypse yells out an emphatic NO! INCREDIBLE show of tolerance by Apocalypse here! Diaper checking the hold now.... WHAT'S THIS!?!? He's starting a count on Clampett! He's calling it a choke hold!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony I don't know what he's looking at but from MY vantage point it doesn't appear to be a chokehold!
JAKE SHADES: Hey... Diaper was standing right in front of me on the BETTING LINE earlier today... maybe THAT has something to do with it?
VICTOR ALVAREZ: (gives Shades a ridiculous look) Clampett finally breaks the hold but not without an argument, and I can't say that I blame him! I think he has a legitimate gripe there!
TONY ROSS: That he does! Only NOW is NOT the time to discuss it!
TONY ROSS: He's wasting time by arguing with Diaper! UH OH!! Apocalypse staggers to his feet... he charges at Clampett...OH HE JUST NAILED HIM WITH A SPINNING KICK TO THE HEAD! CLAMPETT GOES FLYING INTO THE REFEREE!! THE REFEREE IS OUT!! Clampett is trying to shake the cob webs...
JAKE SHADES: More like the effects from his HANGOVER!
TONY ROSS: Clampett reaches for the ropes as he tries to get up... but here comes Apocalypse again.... he CLOTHESLINES Clampett OVER the top rope!! But WAIT!! Clampett hangs on to Apocalypse... AND THEY BOTH GO OVER!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: They hit hard out there Tony... I don't see much movement from either of them... and Diaper is STILL out in the ring!
JAKE SHADES: Diaper's FAKING it! I saw his HAIR move!
TONY ROSS: There's some movement on the outside now... Clampett is first as he struggles to his knees! Apocalypse is only NOW starting to stir... Clampett moves over to him and Apocalpyse suddenly grabs Clampett by the front of his raggedy pants and ...
VICTOR ALVAREZ: OH!! CLAMPETT WENT HEAD FIRST INTO THE RING POST!! He's cut open! Apocalypse stumbles over to Clampett... he grabs Clampett by the hair... he rears his massive fist back and.... HOLY (BLEEP)!! CLAMPETT DUCKED AT THE LAST POSSIBLE SECOND AND APOCALYPSE PUNCHED THE RING POST!!! Tony.. I think he may have broken his hand!!
JAKE SHADES: (yawning LOUDLY) Hey peanut vendor!! Toss me a coupla bags!
TONY ROSS: I would be shocked if he didn't Victor! He hit that post FLUSH! Apocalypse in OBVIOUS PAIN now as he cradles his injured hand.... meanwhile, Clampett wipes the blood away from his eyes and staggers toward Apocalypse!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony, what is keeping these guys going?
JAKE SHADES: It's the BEANS and 'SHINE they had earlier... it makes for an EXPLOSIVE COMBINATION!! Heh heh heh....
TONY ROSS: Clampett finally reaches Apocalypse and they start slugging it out!! Apocalypse uses his other hand to strike Clampett with knife edge chops while Clampett answers back with blows to Apocalypse's chest!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony, there seems to be some more commotion going on in that same front row... UH OH!! IT'S ADAM GREENE! He just hopped over the guard rail and is making his way to the ring apron. Apocalypse and Clampett are TOO busy pounding at each other to even notice Greene!
TONY ROSS: Greene climbs to the top turnbuckle... he stands there momentarily as he stares down at Apocalypse and Clampett as they slug it out... and he LEAPS OFF THE TURNBUCKLE AND BODY PRESSES BOTH OF THEM!! HE JUST LEVELED THEM BOTH!!
JAKE SHADES: Now THAT is what I call ACTION!! A man who takes it upon himself to create his OWN EXCITEMENT... LIKE ME!!
TONY ROSS: The ONLY excitement you know how to create Shades, involves, you, a locked bathroom, a SMUT magazine and your furry palm!
JAKE SHADES: You been spying on me again??
(Ross gives a disgusted look as he moves his chair further away from Shades....)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Look at Green... He's just standing over them..... shaking his head..... now he just turns and hops over the guardrail and disappears into the sea of fans! What's the meaning of this? Is he sending out a message to these two wrestlers? Or is he sending out a message to the FWF itself??
JAKE SHADES: Hey Vicky Boy, whatever his intentions are, he certainly got MY attention! He just FLATTENED those two losers with a single move!
TONY ROSS: Yeah... and I'm sure that the fact that Greene did that while their backs were turned and while they were nearly exhausted had abolutely NOTHING to do with it huh?
JAKE SHADES: Ah.. so I see you FINALLY agree with me?!
TONY ROSS: You're unbelievable. Why don't you just shut up and eat your peanuts!
JAKE SHADES: Impossible... how can I shut up and THEN eat my peanuts?? Now if you would of said FIRST eat my peanuts and THEN S.....
(INTERRUPTED...)
TONY ROSS: WHATEVER!!! So long as you end up shutting up!
JAKE SHADES: With pleasure... ADAM GREENE was the ONLY excitement this match had anyway! I do kinda like Clampett's rat however....
TONY ROSS: Yeah.. that figures... there is after all a family resemblence there!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: The referee Danny Diaper is finally starting to come around now... he's up... looks a bit confused and stumbles to the ring apron and starts the 10 count.... 1... 2....
TONY ROSS: Clampett is starting to get up now.... he struggles to his feet just as Apocalypse starts to stir...
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Diaper still counting..... 5... 6.... 7...
TONY ROSS: I don't think either of them are gonna make it... Clampett struggles to get into the ring... he's almost there... UH OH!! He loses his balance and falls backward onto the apron! HE LANDED RIGHT ON THAT CAGE HE BROUGHT IN THAT CARRIED THE RAT! THE RAT IS OUT!!! IT'S RUNNING AROUND THE RING!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Diaper doesn't see it... he's up to 8... 9.....
TONY ROSS: OH MY!! THE RAT IS CLIMBING UP DIAPER'S LEG!!! DIAPER LOOKS DOWN AND SCREAMS AS HE STOPS COUNTING AND RUNS AROUND THE RING AS HE FRANTICALLY TRIES TO GET THE RAT OFF! JAKE SHADES: HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAAHHAA!!!
TONY ROSS: Meanwhile, Apocalypse shoves Clampett into the ring and rolls under the bottom rope. He grabs Clampett and and tosses him into the corner.... he rushes in and SQUASHES CLAMPETT!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: And Diaper is STILL running around trying to get that rat off of him!
JAKE SHADES: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!! (tears flow from his eyes as he doubles over in laughter)
TONY ROSS: Apocalypse lifts Clampett up and rests him on the top turnbuckle!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony, I think he's setting up for his finisher.... the chokeslam from the top rop which he calls Armaggedon!!
TONY ROSS: WAIT A MINUTE! DIAPER RUNS RIGHT INTO THE BACK OF APOCALYPSE!! APOCALYPSE WAS CAUGHT OFF BALANCE AND HE FALLS FORWARD.... CLAMPETT JUMPS UP AND OVER APOCALYPSE... AND APOCALYPSE HITS THE RING POST HEAD FIRST!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: DIAPER FALLS TO THE MAT... SENDING THE RAT FLYING OUT OF THE RING!!
TONY ROSS: CLAMPETT IS UP! And he heads straight for Apocalypse who is just slumped on the top rope! He's trying to position the big man on the top rope .... he's almost got it...
VICTOR ALVAREZ: I think Clampett is going for HIS finisher now... the power bomb off the top rope... but Apocalypse is starting to come around now... Clampett better hurry if he wants to execute it!
TONY ROSS: He's almost there... HE'S GOT IT!! CLAMPETT HAS HIM LOCKED IN!!! HE STEADIES HIMSELF.... AND THERE IT IS!!! THE 'POORER BOMB'!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: WHAT AN IMPACT!! THE ENTIRE RING SHOOK!!!
JAKE SHADES: The hell with that... WHERE'S THE RAT??
TONY ROSS: APOCALYPSE IS OUT!! BUT DIAPER IS STILL DOWN!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Clampett finally realizes that Diaper is out and he rushes over to him and DRAGS him unceremoniously to where Apocalypse is!
TONY ROSS: Clampett covers him... Diaper with the count.... 1... 2.... 3!!!! CLAMPETT HAS DONE IT!! CLAMPETT HAS DEFEATED APOCALYPSE!!!
(The bell begins to ring repeatedly as Paul Kramer steps through the ropes.... looking around wildly to make sure the rat isn't around and grabs the mike......)
PAUL KRAMER: LAAAAAADIIIIIEEEESSS and GEEENTLEEEEMEEEEEEN!! YOUR WINNER... IN 15 MINUTES AND 17 SECONDS.... "POOR" BUTCH CLAAAAAMPEEEEEETT!!
(Diaper raises Clampett's hand in victory while Apocalypse rolls himself out of the ring and staggers toward the dressing rooms. Suddenly the rat climbs back into the ring forcing Diaper and Kramer to run out of the ring. The rat then walks back into the open cage as Clampett locks it and proceeds to carry it back with him to the dressing room...)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: THAT WAS ONE HELL OF A MATCH!!
TONY ROSS: NOT TO MENTION AN IMPRESSIVE VICTORY!!
JAKE SHADES: Yeah... not to mention so DON'T mention it!
TONY ROSS: Fans we'll be right back with our next match after a word from our sponsors....
(Cameras begin to fade as we see the Triple Threat Commentating team talking amongst themselves.... FADE OUT to a commercial.....)
(The crowd is still reacting from the previous match as ring announcer Paul Kramer steps through the ropes and waits for the mike to be lowered. He has a nervous look on his face as he continues to look around, half expecting something to jump out at him... obviously still reacting from the events of the previous match. He begins conversing with referee Danny Diaper, who also keeps looking around nervously... after a few minutes, the mike is lowered and he begins announcing the next match.....)
PAUL KRAMER: LAAAAAADIIIIEEEESSS and GEEEEENTTLEEEEMEEEEN!! ARE YOU READY FOR OUR NEXT MATCH!?! (crowd reacts as he continues to look around nervously) I said... ARE YOU REEEEAADDYYY for our NEXT MATCH!?!? (the crowd reacts with a frenzied roar) Our next contest will involve two men.... at one time adversaries... at one time allies... tonight they'll play the role of adversaries as they battle to try to get ONE MATCH CLOSER to the FWF GOLD! First, at a height of 6'-2", weighing in at 257 lbs., he hails from Detroit Michigan, he's "THE CHILD PRODIGY" JOHNNY HAAAAVEEEEENSSS!!
(CUE UP: "Next Muther F!!ker" by Marilyn Manson as Havens steps out from behind the entrance sporting a multicolored Jnco shirt and black Jnco Boomers with red stripes. He stands there momentarily as he glares about the arena. After a few seconds, he makes his way down the aisle, his long blonde hair flowing freely as he extends his hands outward for the fans approval)
PAUL KRAMER: And his opponent.... at 6'-7" tall, weighing in at 263 lbs., hailing from Miami Florida, he is a former NAWF World and Extreme Champion, he is "THE FAN FLAVOR" WAYNE ROOOOOBEEEEEERRTSSS!
(Emerging from the entrance is Wayne Roberts, he looks towards the multitude of fans and begins nodding his head and smiling as they cheer him on also! As he makes his way down the aisle, the fans go crazy with their approval!)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony this is going to be a VERY interesting matchup. These two have seen it all.... they were once tag team partners as well as adversaries!
TONY ROSS: That's right Victor, there's a lot of history between these two... not to mention right now that the fans seem to love them both!
JAKE SHADES: Man PLEASE!! They're nothing but a couple of SISSIES!
TONY ROSS: Yeah only YOU would say something like that! What is it with you? HOW do you figure that FAN APPROVAL equates to something as RIDICULOUS as YOUR opinion of them!?
JAKE SHADES: C'mon Tony, a REAL MAN doesn't care about the fans... he cares about the ONLY thing that SHOULD matter... and that's beating the (BLEEP) (BLEEP) outta his opponent!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Well obviously and THANKFULLY, WORLD OPINION doesn't agree with you! These guys have been all over the world and whether you love them or hate them... they are obviously doing something right!
JAKE SHADES: World opinion, just like YOU Victor, can KISS MY (BLEEP)!! The ONLY opinion that matters to me is MINE!!
TONY ROSS: hhhmmmm .... that must explain your "interesting" insights.
JAKE SHADES: EXACTLY!!
TONY ROSS: What can I say, other than IGNORANCE IS BLISS!
JAKE SHADES: According to your wife last night... IGNORANCE was also GREAT!!
TONY ROSS: (glares at Shades who is grinning sheepishly as he puts his hand over the mike and begins arguing with Shades....)
JAKE SHADES: What are you arguing with me for?? SHE said it NOT me!!
TONY ROSS: (throws his hands in the air and shakes his head) I don't even know why I even bother to acknowledge your ignorance!
JAKE SHADES: Like I said before Tony baby, you couldn't ignore my IGNORANCE even if you tried!
TONY ROSS: Apparently not, so why don't YOU call the next match since YOU seem SO intent on making an impression here!
JAKE SHADES: Hell, it'll be YOUR pleasure.... now step aside and see how a REAL man calls it!
(Ross and ALvarez look at each other and shake their heads)
JAKE SHADES: Okay now.... let's see ... err.. the two SISSY BOYS standing in the middle of the ring... they get closer to each other... they're nose-to-nose now... UUHHGGG!! GROSS!! They may as well be kissing! Okay... now they start arguing... NO WAIT!! THey're trading cooking recipes! BUNCHA QUEERS! What kinda FREAKS is LeBron signing here?? Is he stooping to recruiting his own DEVIANT RELATIVES now? Okay... they lock up now, and they're doing the LAMBADA! Ya see Tony... just like those TWO CUP CAKES in there, it was a piece of CAKE!!
TONY ROSS: Well Shades.... you CERTAINLY proved yourself, NATION WIDE, I might add, the TRUE extent of your wrestling knowledge!
JAKE SHADES: (chuckling as he pops some peanuts into his mouth) And then some!
TONY ROSS: No doubt..... (shakes his head as he begins calling the match) Havens and Roberts locked up in a test of strength now... Roberts uses his height to his advantage as he applies leverage against Havens... Havens starting to go down now... Havens throws himself backwards and MONKEY FLIPS Roberts!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony that was a smart move by Havens! A classic example of combating brawn with brains!
JAKE SHADES: Oh yeah.. I do it all the time... just ask that overgrown ape MALEC!!
TONY ROSS: I have a better idea... why don't you ask him yourself!
JAKE SHADES: How can I? He's TOO much of a coward to face me!
TONY ROSS: And what about what happened at the Kiel Center?
JAKE SHADES: There ya go! Ever since THEN he has been ducking me 'cause he KNOWS I'm gonna (BLEEP) HIM UP!!
TONY ROSS: (sighs heavily) Roberts quickly to his feet however.... he starts smiling and nodding his head in acknowledgment.
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony, it seems as though they still hold a measure of mutual respect for one another.
JAKE SHADES: AWWW!! How pathetic! I think I'm gonna puke!
TONY ROSS: They circle one another again... this time it's Havens calling for a test of strength.... they close in.. and OH!! Roberts took a short cut with a kick to the stomach!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Roberts always the opportunist, takes full advantage now as he sets Havens up for a power slam...
TONY ROSS: NO!! BACK BODY DROP BY HAVENS!! Roberts quickly gets to his feet and charges at Havens! Havens with an arm drag take down! Roberts quickly to his feet and charges again! Havens with another arm drag take down! Roberts back up and Havens lands a picture perfect drop kick right to the face!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Roberts rolls out of the ring to collect his thoughts....
TONY ROSS: Smart move on Roberts' part to slow the pace down... stop the momentum. Havens steps back now as he lets Roberts enter.....
TONY ROSS: I don't know if that's such a wise move on Havens' part.... friends or not he should STAY ON ROBERTS! KEEP THE PRESSURE ON HIM!
JAKE SHADES: DAMN STRAIGHT!
TONY ROSS: (looks at Shades and shakes his head...) OH GOD! Don't tell me that YOU and I actually agree on something!
JAKE SHADES: What can I say... you finally wised up!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: They meet up in the ring once again... and Roberts with a rake to the eyes! Havens stumbles backward as he tries to get away from Roberts...
TONY ROSS: Roberts is not letting up though as he begins pounding Havens with sledge hammer blows to his back! Havens is bent over in pain... EUROPEAN UPPERCUT BY ROBERTS SENDS HAVENS SPRAWLING TO THE MAT!! Roberts pulls Havens up by the hair now.... and SENDS HIM BACK DOWN WITH A SHORT ARM CLOTHESLINE!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: WOW! He almost took his head off with that one! Havens had better mount an offensive soon.....
JAKE SHADES: He doesn't have to mount nuthin' ... Havens is a WALKING OFFENSE even while standing still!!
TONY ROSS: Havens pulled up by his blonde locks again.... Roberts sets him up for a suplex.... NO! Havens blocks it! Roberts goes for it again... HAVENS BLOCKS IT AGAIN... AND HE REVERSES IT INTO A SMALL PACKAGE!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: ONE... TWO... THR.. NO! Kick out by Roberts! That was almost the match there!
JAKE SHADES: I wish it were... I gotta go to the bathroom!
TONY ROSS: Roberts is furious now! He charges at Havens and Havens with a leg take down.... he turns it into a spinning toe hold..... and Roberts begins to pound the mat with his fist in pain and frustration!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: But Havens is too close to the ropes... he's gonna have to.....
(INTERRUPTED....)
(Suddenly there is a break in the transmission as we first lose the audio then the visual... then a NEW TRANSMISSION BEGINS.......)
NEW TRANSMISSION: V/O: Ever feel as though you're just NOT being HEARD, SEEN or RESPONDED to??
(CUTTO: A picture of THREE MONKEES... each wearing FWF T-shirts.... each wearing a HUGE name tag around their furry necks which read... "LeBron, Malec, and McCann". One is covering his ears, one is covering his mouth and the other is covering his eyes)
V/O: Why settle for THIS when you can have SO MUCH MORE!! For MORE info.... contact the ONLY man with the answers... The man who is feared and band from the FWF!!
END TRANSMISSION.....
(There's a moment of static, then we receive our original FWF transmission back.....)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?
JAKE SHADES: HAHAHAHAAAAA!! I don't know but it sure as hell was hilarious!!
(Tony and Victor both look at Shades)
JAKE SHADES: WHAT?! IT WASN'T ME!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Yeah... he's right Tony... he's NOT smart enough to pull THIS OFF!
TONY ROSS: I don't think the FWF Staff will find it very amusing, and we'll have some more info about this UNAUTHORIZED TRANSMISSION later... but for right now let's get back to the match at hand.
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Right Tony! Havens is laying in the corner as Roberts stands over him just pounding away! Diaper forces the break as Havens slumps to the floor!
TONY ROSS: Roberts pushes past referee Diaper and lifts Havens up... he tosses him into the ropes... OH OH!! BACK BODY DROP by Roberts!! Havens lands on his FEET!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Havens waits for Roberts to turn around.... HAVENS POKES HIM IN THE EYES!! ROBERTS IS BLINDED!!
TONY ROSS: HAVENS CONNECTS WITH A TREMENDOUS SOCCER KICK TO THE BELLY!! ROBERTS IS DOUBLED OVER IN PAIN!! HAVENS LOCKS ROBERTS ARMS AND... DOUBLE ARM DDT!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Diaper with the count... 1.... 2... NO!! Roberts foot is on the ropes!! Danny Diaper forces Havens to make the break! Roberts rolls out of the ring and lands out on the floor!
TONY ROSS: Havens follows him outside... he goes toward Roberts.. and Roberts suddenly charges him and spears him into the guardrail!! OH OH!! Roberts reaches for a chair..
JAKE SHADES: Chair?!? Alright! Finally some REAL ACTION!! GET HIM!! HIT HIM!! Show them what SISSIES are made of!!
TONY ROSS: Roberts swings the chair overhead... WHAM!! RIGHT ON HAVENS BACK!! HAVENS IS DOWN!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Roberts rolls Havens back into the ring and applies a BOSTON CRAB on Havens!!
TONY ROSS: MY GOD!! LOOK AT THAT EXTENSION!!
JAKE SHADES: Prove you're not a SISSY!! BREAK HIS BAAAACK!!
TONY ROSS: Diaper asking Havens if he wants to submit... Havens shakes his head no!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: HOW CAN HAVENS ENDURE SUCH PAIN!!?! Roberts is leaning back so far that his rear end is almost touching the back of Havens head!!
TONY ROSS: Havens is in SO much pain that his arms are flailing about.... but he STILL REFUSES to submit!! Diaper continues to ask Havens if wants to give up... but Havens only responds with his flailing arms... WAIT LOOK!! One of Havens arms just connected with Roberts shoulder!! Roberts releases the hold and raises his arms in VICTORY!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Roberts thinks that referee Diaper tapped him on the shoulder indicating a submission!!!!
JAKE SHADES: TURN AROUND ROBERTS!!! TURN AROUND!!!
TONY ROSS: Diaper is pulling Roberts hand down! He's trying to explain to him that the match is NOT over....
VICTOR ALVAREZ: BUT LOOK!! Havens has struggled to his feet and he's right behind the unsuspecting Roberts! REVERSE NECKBREAKER!!! THEY'RE BOTH OUT!!! Neither of them is moving!!
TONY ROSS: Diaper is starting the 10 count now... he's up to 5.... 6....
VICTOR ALVAREZ: WAIT!! I SEE ONE OF THEM STARTING TO MOVE!!
TONY ROSS: You're right Victor! Havens is starting to move.... he doesn't have the strength to get up... all he can do is roll over!! BUT LOOK!! His arm landed on Roberts CHEST!! Diaper stops the ten count and drops to the mat... 1... 2... 3!!! HAVENS HAS DONE IT!!! HAVENS HAS BEATEN ROBERTS!!
JAKE SHADES: BEATEN?? All I see are two SISSIES laying on the floor hugging each other! It figures though... the "Child Prostitute" and the "Fan Flavor"... with names like that no wonder they like laying together!
TONY ROSS: Do you ALWAYS have to cheapen and DISTORT everything with your perverted comments?
JAKE SHADES: Just calling them as I see 'em!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: That battle took so much out of them that neither of them have even gotten up yet!!
JAKE SHADES: Well, they're half naked, sweaty and embracing.... you figure it out!!
TONY ROSS: The ONLY thing I want to figure out is just WHO was behind that PIRATE TRANSMISSION??
VICTOR ALVAREZ: We're still waiting to hear what are technicians think could have been the cause or source of it but right now we can just speculate.
TONY ROSS: Well we'll hopefully get more info on that a little later but for right now.... lets go back down to Paul as he gets ready for the next match.
(Cameras begin to pan around the excited arena as we move on to the next match......)
(The crowd is till buzzing from the first two previous matches as referee Danny Diaper hands the mike to ring announcer Paul Kramer.......)
PAUL KRAMER: LAAAAADIIIIEEEESSSS and GEEEEENTLEEEEMEEEN!! For our NEXT contest we have, at 6'-6", weighing in at 237 lbs., he comes straight from the MEAN streets of the INFAMOUS SOUTH BRONX, he's D-BAAAAAAAAAALLL!
(CUE UP: "The Call of Ktulu" by Metallica as D-Ball appears on the entrance way. The fans give him mixed reactions as he stands there wearing a tank top, a pair of basketball shorts and a pair of boots. He suddenly runs toward the ring, slides underneath the bottom rope and tosses his hands in the air in answer to the crowd!)
PAUL KRAMER: And his opponent, standing at only 5'-10", weighing 183 lbs., he is a former NAWF U.S. Champion, a former NGWA Extreme Champion and the LAST person to capture the ACW Interstate Title, hailing from Seoul South Korea, he's SAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!!
(CUE UP: "More Human Than Human" by White Zombie. The fans go wild as Sage steps out onto the entrance way. His stoic glare revealing even less than the black and green face paint that covers his face. He adjusts the black tape on his wrists and then races down to the ring.... his black pony tail bouncing wildly about as he gets to the ring apron and hops over the top rope)
JAKE SHADES: What kind of (BLEEP) is this!? An EAST COAST THUG fighting an ORIENTAL MIDGET? Hell.... I could beat the BOTH of them by MYSELF!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Well you're certainly welcome to try but I don't think you would last even 10 seconds with either of them!
JAKE SHADES: (pulls out a pair of binoculars and starts scanning the crowd) Hey Vic... relax... you're much too tense... why don't you try sitting on my D(BLEEP)K and pedalling my BALLS!! If that don't relax ya.... NOTHING WILL!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: (was about to respond but then figures why bother wasting his words)
TONY ROSS: Okay... this match is officially underway as EAST meets WEST!! D-Ball lunges toward Sage but Sage ducks with a forward roll and then dropkicks D-Ball on the back of the head!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: MY GOD!! Sage is SO quick!! I've NEVER seen ANYONE move like that!!
JAKE SHADES: (still looking through the binoculars...) Oh yeah, well how about the time that woman chased you down the street when you tried to pick up her man??
VICTOR ALVAREZ: (ignoring Shades....) What he lacks in size he certainly makes up for in speed!!
TONY ROSS: Not only is he quick, but he's also one of the greatest aerial threats in the FWF! D-Ball is no slouch in the speed department either as he quickly jumps to his feet.
VICTOR ALVAREZ: D-Ball being a bit more cautious now as he and Sage circle each other. D-Ball lunges at Sage but Sage ducks under his grasp and plants D-Ball with a belly-to-back suplex!!
TONY ROSS: This Sage is pretty strong for a 180 pounder!!
JAKE SHADES: (looking through the binoculars) WHOAH MAMMA!! THAT'S RIGHT BABY... KEEP JUMPING UP AND DOWN... SET THOSE MELONS FREE!!!!
TONY ROSS: HEY!! (elbows Shades...) man pay attention to the match!
JAKE SHADES: I AM!! HER MELONS "ARE" THE PERFECT MATCH!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Speaking of perfect match... this kid Sage has so far displayed perfection in the ring against D-Ball who has YET to mount ANY type of offensive!
TONY ROSS: D-Ball is starting to show his frustration now as he kicks at the bottom rope! He backs Sage into the corner... and he charges again!! Sage leaps over him!! SUNSET FLIP INTO A PIN!! 1...2... KICK OUT!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Sage just didn't have the weight to keep D-Ball's shoulder down for the 3 count! D-Ball should consider himself lucky!
TONY ROSS: Sage pounces on D-Ball even before he could get to his feet and takes him down with a lariat! D-Ball... struggles to his feet... and here comes Sage with a HANDSPRING CORKSCREW ELBOW TO THE FACE!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: WOW!! D-Ball fell like a TON OF BRICKS!!
TONY ROSS: Sage up to the top turnbuckle.... HE LEAPS OFF!! SOMERSAULT LEG DROP!!! D-BALL ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY!! BUT SAGE LANDS ON HIS FEET!! SAGE WITH A SPINNING KICK TO THE CHEST!! OH!! D-BALL GOES FLYING OUT OF THE RING!!!
JAKE SHADES: Now THAT'S what I call getting a KICK outta LIFE!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Sage climbs to the turnbuckle again... he waits for D-Ball to get to his feet... he LEAPS OFF!! CORKSCREW PLANCHA!!! D-BALL DUCKS!! OH!! SAGE COLLIDES WITH THE GUARDRAIL!!! SAGE CRUMBLES TO THE FLOOR.... WRITHING IN PAIN!!
TONY ROSS: That's WHY they call those HIGH RISK manuevers!! The rewards are great, but the penalty is GREATER!! D-Ball struggles to his feet now. This is the break he needed as he starts to get himself together!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: D-Ball pulls Sage up and he tosses him into the steel steps!! Man.. the tide has DEFINITELY turned now and D-Ball is taking FULL advantage of it!!
JAKE SHADES: Its about time that THUG started acting like a REAL criminal instead of like a REJECT from WEST SIDE STORY!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: D-Ball is pounding away on Sage now!!
TONY ROSS: D-Ball is just pounding Sage RELENTLESSLY!! I don't know how much more of this Sage can take! D-Ball LIFTS SAGE UP.... HE PRESSES HIM.... AND TOSSES HIM THROUGH THE ROPES AND INTO THE RING!!!
JAKE SHADES: Isn't that a new olympic event??
VICTOR ALVAREZ: What?!?
JAKE SHADES: A new event in the Olympics.... ya know .... instead of tossing those EASY objects like the discus, javelin or shotput.... now ya got the KOREAN CHILD TOSS!!
VICTOR ALVARES: THAT'S SICK!!
JAKE SHADES: That may be but it'll SURELY sell tickets!!
TONY ROSS: Right now the ONLY person selling any tickets is D-Ball as he gets back into the ring now.... look at the ARROGANCE as he stands over Sage yelling at him and slapping him!! He pulls Sage up.... tosses him into the ropes..... FLYING BODY PRESS BY SAGE!! BUT NO!!! D-BALL CATCHES HIM IN MIDAIR!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: What's he doing?!? D-Ball is laughing and parading around with Sage.... D-Ball is positioning himself with his back near the turnbuckle... what's he gonna ..... OH MY GOD!! FALL AWAY SLAM!!! BUT WAIT!!! HOLY.....
TONY ROSS: INCREDIBLE!!! SAGE LANDS FEET FIRST ON THE TOP ROPE.... SOMERSAULTS IN MIDAIR AND SPLASHES ON TOP OF D-BALL!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Diaper dives down for the count... 1.... 2..... KICK OUT!! What an UNBELIEVABLE move by SAGE!! I tell you this kid is INCREDIBLE!!
JAKE SHADES: You guys impress MUCH TOO easily....
VICTOR ALVAREZ: HOW COULD YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT!?! After all the punishment Sage absorbed.... to come back with a move like that?!
JAKE SHADES: HELL!! THAT'S NOTHING!! Look at all the constant abuse I take from the TWO of you... and I STILL come back to HUMILIATE the both of ya's! Now THAT is talent!! ANYONE can jump around like a monkey... especially if that's their natural lifestyle... but it takes REAL talent to master the kind of GENIUS that I HAVE!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: GENIUS!?! Is THAT what they're calling it at the ASYLUM these days?
JAKE SHADES: F(BLEEP) YO......
( INTERRUPTED...)
TONY ROSS: Sage grabs D-Ball in a side head lock.... UH OH!! D-BALL LIFTS HIM UP AND TOSSES HIM!! NO!!! SAGE HANGS ON AND DDT's HIM!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: EXCELLENT COUNTER BY SAGE!! D-Ball slow to get up to his feet....
TONY ROSS: Sage up on the turnbuckle.... He waits for D-Ball to turn around.......
TONY ROSS: SAGE LEAPS.... HURRICANRANA INTO A PIN!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Diaper with the count... 1.... 2.... 3!! SAGE CAPTURES THE WIN!!!
TONY ROSS: ANOTHER IMPRESSIVE WIN FOR SAGE!! Sage, unlike his size, should DEFINITELY NOT be taken lightly!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: OH NO DOUBT ABOUT IT!! We MAY just be witnessing one of the LIGHTEST EVER competitors to possibly capture a HEAVY WEIGHT TITLE!!
TONY ROSS: ABSOLU....
(INTERRUPTED...)
JAKE SHADES: ALRIGHT ALREADY!!! SO THE LITTLE SNOT GOT LUCKY!! CAN WE PLEASE MOVED ON TO THE NEXT MATCH!!
TONY ROSS: Guess that's ONE bet ya lost huh Shades?? How much did you drop on THAT match??
JAKE SHADES: Aaahh... a mere drop in the bucket compared to what I'll win on the next matches! So can we PLEASE move on to the next match!?!
TONY ROSS: (laughing with Alvarez) No problem, but first....
(INTERRUPTED...)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony! I just got word from our technicians about that PIRATED TRANSMISSION during the SECOND MATCH! It seems that they feel very strongly that TRANSMISSION was interrupted from WITHIN THE ARENA VICINITY!!
TONY ROSS: WHAT!?! Have they located the source yet?
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Not yet.... but they feel confident that they can track it down should it occur again.
TONY ROSS: Well, hopefully it won't occur now as we go for a commercial break!
JAKE SHADES: IT'S ABOUT (BLEEP) TIME!!
(Cameras begin to fade out on the thunderous roar of the Kemper Arena fans as a commercial for PLAYSTATION'S latest wrestling game, "FWF INVASION '98", begins to air ....)
(Camera zooms back from the commercial break to the filled-to-capacity Kemper Arena where the fans are going absolutely ballistic as they await the start of the next match. The mike is once again lowered and ring announcer Paul Kramer begins to bark.....)
PAUL KRAMER: LAAAAADIIIIIIEESS and GEEEEEENTLLEEEEMEEEN!! Our referee for our next series of matches will be Sal Putz! For our next contest, standing at 6' even, weighing 231 lbs., hailing from Sacramento California.... he's the "BOY TOY" BEEAAUUUUUUU MIIIIIIIICHAEEEEEELS!!!
(CUE UP: "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred. Emerging from the entrance way is Beau Michaels. He has a cocky grin on his face as he passes a hand through his bleached blonde hair. As he walks down the aisle he stops in front of a gorgeous Brunette and gives her a wink as she proudly displays her FWF T-shirt which features the "Boy Toy" as he admires himself in a mirror. He treats her to a flexing of the muscles pose and she responds by grabbing him and kissing him... he throws his head up and starts laughing as security pulls the enamored female off of him. He then saunters slowly to the ring.)
PAUL KRAMER: And his opponent.... standing at 6'-2", weighing 235 lbs., his accomplishments include being a TWO TIME CWA World Champion, a TWO TIME AFWC World Champion, an NFWA World Champion, an FWA Western States Champion, and holding 1/3 of the FWA Six Man Tag Team Title!! Hailing from Memphis Tennessee, he's "BAD COMPANY" BRIIIIIAAAAN LAAAAAAWLEEEEEER!!!
(CUE UP: "Bad Company" by Bad Company as Brian Lawler steps out onto the entrance ramp and raises his arms over head as the fans explode with cheers!! He walks slowly down the aisle toward the ring, stopping occasionally to sign a few quick autographs and slap a few outstretched hands.)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony this is gonna be ONE HELL of a match!! Did you HEAR that IMPRESSIVE list of titles that Lawler has bragging rights to?!?
TONY ROSS: I certainly did Victor! Lawler has DONE IT ALL! And just listen to these FANS!! THEY SIMPLY LOVE HIM!!!
JAKE SHADES: Well... there's no accounting for taste. Just goes to prove my point about how STUPID the fans are! Any FOOL can clearly see that "Boy Toy" is the REAL man out of the two!!
TONY ROSS: Not taking anything away from Beau Michaels, who is a TOP athlete in his own right, but HOW can you ignore those impressive accomplishments of Brian Lawler!?!
JAKE SHADES: Easy.... just answer this... given a choice... what would YOU prefer to capture.... those many titles that Lawler BOUGHT, errr... I mean, WON somehow, or, that HORNY BRUNETTE that was THROWING HERSELF ALL OVER BEAU???
(Tony Ross and Victor Alvarez look at each other and for the FIRST time tonight.... they actually seem to seriously consider what Shades just asked....)
TONY ROSS: Well.... if you HAVE to put it THAT way, I CAN'T argue with you, but all I'm saying is that Lawler has left his mark in this sport!
JAKE SHADES: Yeah.... and I'm sure he'll be leaving yet ANOTHER mark tonight!
(Ross and Alvarez quickly glance at each other in shock as they can't believe Shades' statement....)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Am I hearing you right Shades?? Are you saying that YOU think Lawler will make an impression tonight?
JAKE SHADES: ABSOLUTELY!! He is DEFINITELY gonna make a HUGE impression...... Just be sure to keep your distance when he does however!
TONY ROSS: (rolling his eyes) I knew it! And WHY do we need to keep our distance??
JAKE SHADES: 'Cause he's gonna leave a HUGE IMPRESSION in his SHORTS!! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!
TONY ROSS: Is EVERYTHING a joke to you?
JAKE SHADES: Usually it's just YOU and Victor, but tonight is an exception!!
TONY ROSS: It's too bad YOU'RE not the exception tonight...
(INTERRUPTED...)
JAKE SHADES: Aaaahhh, you're just jealous, but don't worry, EVERYONE has a purpose in life... hell, just look at MALEC!! So long as every CONDOM needs a PRICK, he'll ALWAYS have a ROOF over his head.... a RUBBER one that is!!
TONY ROSS: Well, you know Shades, by the same token, EVERY Kingdom MUST have a COURT JESTER to play the FOOL, and NOBODY plays THAT role better than YOU!!
JAKE SHADES: HEY!! Who said I'm playing.... I'm DEAD SERIOUS!! eerrr... hey, WAIT A MINUTE!! That's not what I meant to say!!
TONY ROSS: Save it for someone who actually gives a damn, this match is underway.....
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Michaels and Lawler meet up in the middle of the ring.... there is a lot of JAWING going on right now..... And Michaels places his hands behind his head and begins to gyrate his groin!!! He starts pointing his finger RIGHT into LAWLER'S CHEST!!
TONY ROSS: OH MAN!! I don't think he wants to do that to Lawler.... OH AND LAWLER SMACKS HIM RIGHT ACROSS THE FACE!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony... he slapped him SO hard that he left a HAND PRINT across Michael's face!! Michaels is still composed however as he rubs his reddened cheek and smiles at Lawler!
JAKE SHADES: That's his way of showing up Lawler!
TONY ROSS: As much as I hate to admit it... you're right! He's right back in Lawler's face and Lawler SMACKS HIM AGAIN!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Now Michaels has MATCHING RED CHEEKS!! Yet he's still smiling! I think he's actually trying to get Lawler to lose his temper!
TONY ROSS: Michaels wants some more... he gets right back into Lawler's face again and starts jawing.... Lawler with ANOTHER SLAP!! NO!! MICHAELS DUCKS AND FORCES LAWLER'S ARM BEHIND HIS BACK!! HE HAS LAWLER TRAPPED IN A CHICKEN WING!!
TONY ROSS: Well apparently Michaels' plan worked!!
JAKE SHADES: OF COURSE IT DID!! HE'S THE REAL MAN IN THERE!!
TONY ROSS: Lawler reaches with his free hand and grabs Michael's neck.... he jumps up and and his momentum carries him forward... and HE FLIPS MICHAELS OVER HIS SHOULDER!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: GREAT ESCAPE BY LAWLER!!! That's one of the reasons WHY he's been a champion SO many times!!
JAKE SHADES: Really?? I always thought that he used his Cousin's NAME, Jerry "The King" Lawler, to INFLUENCE promotors!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Oh please!! Don't EVEN TRY to go there!! Bad Company EARNED everything on his own!!
JAKE SHADES: Yeah... like the beating that he's gonna get now!!
TONY ROSS: That remains to be seen... Lawler bounces off the ropes and LEVELS Michaels!! Michaels back up and and Lawler off the ropes again.... MICHAELS WITH A POWERSLAM!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Lawler right back though!! And he SCOOP SLAMS MICHAELS!! MICHAELS RIGHT BACK UP THOUGH!! ARM DRAG TAKE DOWN BY LAWLER!! Michaels back up!!
TONY ROSS: LAWLER WITH A CLOTHESLINE RIGHT OVER THE TOP ROPE!!! THE FANS ARE GOING WILD HERE!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: LAWLER IS HYPED!! LOOK AT HIM!! MICHAELS WANTS NO PART OF HIM!
JAKE SHADES: That's crap! Michaels contact lens just fell out and he needs time to find it.....
TONY ROSS: Well he's gonna get some help as Lawler jumps down and attacks Michaels with a fist flurry.... MICHAELS GOES DOWN!!
JAKE SHADES: There ya go! I think he just found the lens!
TONY ROSS: Lawler pulls Michaels up by his golden locks and ..... KNEELIFT SENDS RIGHT BACK DOWN!!! Michaels back up... and now he tries to get away from Lawler.... Lawler gives chase!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Michaels slides into the ring with Lawler right behind him!!
TONY ROSS: OH!! MICHAELS CAUGHT LAWLER COMING IN WITH A KICK TO THE RIBS!!
JAKE SHADES: YEAH!! I see Lawler ain't so bad now that Michaels got his contact lens back on!!
TONY ROSS: Michaels getting the upperhand now as he sets Lawler up for a piledriver... LAWLER BLOCKS IT!! LAWLER TRIES A BACK BODY DROP BUT MICHAELS DOUBLE CHOPS HIM ON BOTH SIDES OF HIS RIBS!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Michaels goes for the piledriver again... WHAT'S THIS!?! LAWLER THROWS ALL HIS WEIGHT FORWARD... MICHAELS LOSES HIS BALANCE AND FALLS BACKWARD... WITH LAWLER ON TOP!!!
TONY ROSS: Putz with the count... 1.... KICK OUT BY MICHAELS!! Michaels right back up.... SPINNING BACKFAST BY LAWLER!! MICHAELS DUCKS... AND HE TRAPS LAWLER IN A SWINGING FULL NELSON!! OH!! LAWLER'S LEGS STRUCK THE REF!! PUTZ JUST FELL OUT OF THE RING!! Lawler... trying to break free now... HE DROPS DOWN WITH A JAW BREAKER!!! MICHAELS IS DOWN!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Lawler pulls Michaels up... SPINNING NECK BREAKER!! Michaels is DOWN AGAIN!!! HE'S NOT MOVING!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: AND JUST LISTEN TO THOSE FANS AS LAWLER SIGNALS FOR HIS FINISHER... THE MEMPHIS BLUES PILEDRIVER!!! I DON'T THINK LAWLER KNOWS THAT THE REF WAS INADVERTEDLY KICKED THROUGH THE ROPES!!
V/O: YEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAW!!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?!
TONY ROSS: I don't know bu... WAIT!! LOOK!! UP IN THE RAFTERS!! IT'S MADONNA WAYNE GROSSARD!!!
JAKE SHADES: Wanna take a minute to freshen up Victor?? I mean now that your HEARTTHROB IS HERE!! Heh heh heh....
VICTOR ALVAREZ: WHAT'S HIS INTENT?? IS HE ALLIED WITH MICHAELS??
TONY ROSS: I don't know.... but WHATEVER it is... he certainly has LAWLER'S undivided attention!!
JAKE SHADES: As well as his NUMBER 1 GROUPIE'S, VICTOR!!
MWG: The REAL Southern ICON", MADONNA WAYNE GROSSARD!! Awwww..... So, "Bad personal hygiene" Brian Lawler got a problem with all the hanky panky that's been goin' on in the *Pro Wrestling world these days? (cackles) Well, that's just a DERN SHAME, Brian. Cuz, you're gonna be the ONLY one here not enjoying this.....
(Suddenly, as if on cue, the jumbotron comes on and it begins to flash footage of the infamous PAMALA and TOMMY LEE "homemade" tapes. As the footage keeps rolling, the lights suddenly go down ....)
TONY ROSS: I don't like the looks of this Victor....
JAKE SHADES: I DO!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony.... someone's running toward the ring... that's TIM "BARNEY"!!!
TONY ROSS: Lawler doesn't see him.... LOOK OUT!! OH!! BARNEY JUST SMACKED LAWLER ACROSS THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH A PIPE!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: And now he's dragging Michaels over on top of LAWLER!!
JAKE SHADES: I LOVE YOU... YOU LOVE ME..... HAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!
TONY ROSS: He rolls out of the ring and pushes Putz back into the ring!! Putz is still groggy but he gets to his feet.... HE SEES THE COVER.... OH NO!!!
JAKE SHADES: OH YES!!! DO IT! DO IT!!
TONY ROSS: Putz with the count... 1... 2... 3!!!! LAWLER GETS ROBBED!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: And if that's not enough... to add insult upon injury... BARNEY and MICHAELS are attacking Lawler!!
TONY ROSS: WAIT A MINUTE!!! THERE'S A COMMOTION IN THE CROWD!! SOMEONE'S COMING!! OH MY GOD!! IT'S.... IT'S... IT'S JEAN RABESQUE!!! JEAN RABESQUE JUST DOVE UNDER THE BOTTOM ROPE!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: HE'S CLEANING HOUSE IN THERE!! HE JUST DROP KICKED BARNEY THROUGH THE ROPES AND NOW HE GOES AFTER MICHAELS WHO QUICKLY SLIDES UNDERNEATH THE BOTTOM ROPE AND HEADS BACK TO THE DRESSING ROOMS!! LISTEN TO THESE FANS AS WE SEE THE RE-APPEARANCE OF YET ANOTHER WRESTLING SUPERSTAR!!
TONY ROSS: Rabesque turns and Lawler is just standing there... He's glaring at Rabesque.... Rabesque walks up to him.... and he RAISES LAWLER'S HAND INTO THE AIR!! THE FANS ARE GOING WILD HERE!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: The fans here KNOW Lawler had victory within his grasp.... and they're showing their appreciation of him as well as for the re-emergence of Rabesque!!
JAKE SHADES: Big deal.... after it's all said and done the REAL man, Michaels, gets credited with the win... and THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS!!
TONY ROSS: He may have gotten the win... but knowing Lawler's reputation the way I do, I'm sure this is FAR from over!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: I agree! I tell you though... this has been an EXPLOSIVE card so far... what with the return of ADAM GREENE and now JEAN RABESQUE!! And we STILL have EIGHT MORE MATCHES TO GO!!
TONY ROSS: That's right... but before we do, we're gonna take a moment for station identification.
(Cameras zoom out as the ESPN-2 LOGO comes up for station identification.....)
(Cameras zoom in on the multitudes of fans as they react to the "Frontier Fever" that is sweeping the Wrestling Industry! As the cameras pan back and forth, we see the various attitudes that make up the FWF fan... one fan holds a sign that reads "Malec, the REAL Chicago Mobster" another sign read "Shades is 'da Man"..... another reads "McCann, the BILL GATES of Wrestling"... and yet another reads "The Frontier CAN'T be tamed!!" The cameras then pan back to the ring where ring announcer Paul Kramer is about to bark the next match.....)
PAUL KRAMER: Are you REAAAAADYYYY for more AAAAAACTIOOOON?? (points mike at the fans who respond loudly) I said..... Are you REEEAAADDDYYY!?!? (points mike back at the fans who give a THUNDEROUS, EAR-SHATTERING response!) ALRIGHT THEN!! Next, we have a DOUBLE DEBUT match, first, standing at a height of 6'-8", and weighing 325 lbs., hailing from Death Valley, he's the "ANTI-CHRIST" XAVIER OSBOOOOOUUUURNE!!
(CUE UP: "Unholy" by Kiss as the arena lights suddenly dim... Suddenly, multiple pyrotechnic explosions go off and as the smoke begins to clear..... we see a HUGE silhouette standing on the entrance way ramp. As the lights start to slowly illuminate the arena, we begin to get our first glimpse at this MONSTER of a man, dressed all in black, as he adjusts his gloves and glares stoically as he makes his way down toward the ring.)
PAUL KRAMER: And his oppon.....
( INTERRUPTED...)
(Stops in mid bark as Xavier stops directly in front of him and glares dwon at him. Paul quickly moves to the other side of the ring, dropping the mike with a loud "THUD" in the process. After a few moments, when Xavier walks toward the opposite corner, Paul rushes over, snatches the mike and rushes back to the corner to continue his barking....)
PAUL KRAMER: And his opponent.... standing at 6'-9", weighing 324 lbs., hailing from Tampa Bay, Florida, he's "TRIPLE E" EROOOOOTIIIIC ERIC EVAAAAAAANS!!
(CUE UP: "Boy Toy" by BIB as Eric Evans steps up onto the entrance way ramp! He is received with a mixture of cheers and jeers as he throws his arms up into the air, turning his back momentarily to thumb at the three E's displayed on the back of his maroon tights with one full leg and the other cut off right about mid thigh. As he begins to confidently swagger toward the ring, the fans being to chant, "Triple E.... Triple E.... Triple E...." )
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony this is going to be an all out WAR!! Would you LOOK at the SIZE of those two!! They practically mirror each other in height as well as weight!!
TONY ROSS: Yeah, the only difference seems to be that the fans are for the most part behind Evans and AGAINST Xavier!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Well can you blame them Tony?? I mean who in their right mind would support someone that is into sacrifices and devil worship??
JAKE SHADES: (smiling) HEY!! If the man chooses to WORSHIP ME, that's HIS right and HIS privilege!! Just goes to show that not ALL wrestlers are brain dead!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: I don't know whether Xavier would consider that an insult or a compliment, but right now I don't think it really matters to him as he and Evans engage in a stare down in the middle of the ring. MY GOD... it's uncanny, physically they could almost be twin brothers!
TONY ROSS: Unlike most twin brothers however, I think there is no love lost there as they stand nose-to-nose jawing at each other.... neither one giving an inch!
JAKE SHADES: I predict the BIG one will win!
TONY ROSS: (very sarcastically) You don't say!?! WOW!! LOOK AT THEM GO!! Forget about technique.... forget about skill... this has just turned into a PIER 6 BRAWL!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Just listen to the impact of those blows.... and neither of them backs off! OH! CHOP TO THE THROAT BY TRIPLE E!! That seemed to slow Xavier down a bit!
TONY ROSS: But not for long .... Xavier answers with a MASSIVE blow to the chest that sends Triple E backwards.... he follows it up with another.. AND ANOTHER!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: TRIPLE E JUST SPEARED XAVIER!! THEY'RE BOTH DOWN ON THE MAT ROLLING AROUND... PUNCHING AND KICKING LIKE TWO WILD ANIMALS!!
TONY ROSS: Triple E on top now... and HE'S BLATANTLY CHOKING XAVIER!! Putz starts to count... but Triple E continues to ignore him!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: TRIPLE E IS SCREAMING IN PAIN!?! WHA... OH!! XAVIER IS BITING TRIPLE E ON THE ARM!!! BETTER WATCH OUT TRIPLE E.... THIS GUY LIKES TO DRINK BLOOD!!
JAKE SHADES: Hey... with all that rolling around, he just got a little thirsty .... that's all!!
TONY ROSS: THAT'S SICK!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: They're both up now... Triple E is STILL screaming and Xavier is STILL biting!!
TONY ROSS: I hope he....
( INTERRUPTED...)
(Suddenly... just like before the transmission begins to falter... first the sound... then the visual.... a moment of static ... then the FWF transmission is replaced by ANOTHER PIRATED TRANSMISSION......)
BEGIN TRANSMISSION: (A clip of the THREE STOOGES comes on the screen... they are doing one of their zany skits where Larry gets a hunk of hair pulled out of his skull... Moe gets the finger to the eyes and Curly gets punched on the head.... then the frame is frozen and names are SUPERIMPOSED on each of them.... on Larry's image is MALEC's name, Curly's image has MCCANN's name, and Moe's image has LEBRON's name! Then the voice over starts......)
V/O: REMEMBER... A LEAGUE IS ONLY AS GOOD AS ITS LEADERS!! IF YOU WANT THE BEST A LEAGUE CAN OFFER.... SEEK OUT HE WHO IS BANNED OUT OF FEAR FROM THIS LEAGUE!! END TRANSMISSION:
(Momentary static.... brief silence... then we return to our original FWF transmission.....)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: TONY IT HAPPENED AGAIN!! OBVIOUSLY SOMEONE IS OUT TO EMBARASS AND DISCREDIT THE FWF!!
TONY ROSS: Fans we apologize once again for these SLANDEROUS and ILLEGAL interruptions... our technicians are hard at work as we speak to get to the bottom of this!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony... I just received word that FWF VP Scott Malec will be coming down at the conclusion of this match to address this situation.
JAKE SHADES: GOOD!! 'Cause I have a score to settle with him!! I've been trying to see him now for TWO WEEKS but he keeps ducking me!! Now he can't!
TONY ROSS: Shades, I don't think Malec will be in ANY MOOD for your FALSE BRAVADO... so if I were you ....
(INTERRUPTED...)
JAKE SHADES: Oh please... stop sucking up to him and call the damn match!
TONY ROSS: We'll see WHO does the sucking up when Malec arrives! Anyway, this match so far has been nothing more than just a brutal street fight!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: OH RUNNING LARIAT BY XAVIER!! BUT TRIPLE E STILL ON HIS FEET!! XAVIER WITH A ROUND HOUSE PUNCH... TRIPLE E DUCKS AND CONNECTS WITH AN UPPERCUT!!
TONY ROSS: These guys remind me of the CREED/BALBOA fight in Stallone's "ROCKY"! Triple E with a left hook.... Xavier blocks it!! HEAD BUTT BY XAVIER... and they BOTH GO DOWN!!
JAKE SHADES: That head butt reminds me of the movie when WORLDS COLLIDE!
TONY ROSS: Xavier gets up first.... but Triple E isn't far behind... Xavier with an eye gouge! FRONT KICK TO TRIPLE E's FACE!!! FOLLOWED BY A SPINNING BACKFIST!! AND TRIPLE E IS DOWN!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Xavier reaches down for Triple E ... OH LOW BLOW BY TRIPLE E!!! Xavier is doubled over in pain!! OH SCISSOR KICK TO THE BACK OF XAVIER'S HEAD!! XAVIER IS DOWN!!
TONY ROSS: Triple E looks down at Xavier and LAUGHS!! I don't BELIEVE THIS! He turns his back on Xavier and starts to pose for the fans!! Is this guy for real?? Now he stands on the second rope of the turnbuckle and flexes some more! This guy brings NEW meaning to the word COCKY!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Well he better stop posing so much and start paying more attention to Xavier!!
TONY ROSS: TOO LATE!! Xavier is up and he LOOKS PISSED!! He goes right up to Triple E and lifts him off the ropes by the armpits! Xavier has Triple E trapped in a CRUCIFIX!! HE STEADIES HIMSELF AS TRIPLE E STRUGGLES TO GET FREE.... AND OH!!! WHAT AN IMPACT!! HE LANDED SQUARE ON THE BACK OF HIS NECK!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony... that's 324 POUNDS crashing down ... all on his neck!! TRIPLE E IS OUT COLD!! Putz with the pin 1, 2, 3!!! This one is over!
TONY ROSS: Heck... Putz coulda counted to 30 and it wouldn't have made a difference!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: How IRONIC... the self proclaimed ANTI-CHRIST using a hold like the CRUCIFIX to get the win!
JAKE SHADES: I TOLD YOU THE BIG ONE WOULD WIN!!
TONY ROSS: Oh please Shades... they're BOTH the same height and weight!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony I've just been informed that FWF VP Scott Malec is on his way down to us to shed some light on the recent PIRATE TRANSMISSIONS.
JAKE SHADES: AWWW MAN!! I GOT A CASE OF THE RUNS!! I GOTTA GO TO THE JOHN!! BE BACK SHORTLY!
(Before anyone can react Shades gets up and runs toward the dressing rooms.....)
TONY ROSS: Sounds more like a case of the COWARDS!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony, I hear the fans reacting.... I think ... YES!! FWF VP Scott Malec has just emerged from the entrance way!
(Lights dim somewhat as a spot light shines on a well dressed, rugged looking man in an Armani suit. As he makes his way down the aisle the fans react with cheers as they see that it is none other than FWF VP Scott Malec!!)
TONY ROSS: Welcome to Invasion Mr. Malec!
SCOTT MALEC: Thank you Tony.... Unfortunately this isn't a social call.... I want to address the individual or individuals who are responsible for these PIRATED TRANSMISSIONS!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Mr. Malec, are we any closer to discovering the source of these transmissions?
SCOTT MALEC: We don't have any concrete proof at the moment Victor ... but we have ONE suspect in mind... and I'm here to tell him right now... that these actions WILL NOT go unanswered!! And furthermore I want to add that not only will LEGAL action be taken... but also....
( INTERRUPTED...)
(Suddenly the static hits the air ways again... this time however, the visual stays and the sound goes.... for the moment we can see Malec talking... but we can't hear a word he is saying. Then some more static and we begin to hear a voice.... the voice however is NOT Malec's... it has a CARTOON quality about it... sounding very much like the voice of ALVIN from the CHIPMUNKS.....)
(As Malec continues to speak.... it becomes OBVIOUS that Malec's voice is being DUBBED by the CARTOON VOICE... "THERE IS NO FUTURE IN THE FRONTIER! THERE IS NO FUTURE IN THE FWF! SEEK OUT HE WHO HAS BEEN BANNED OUT OF FEAR" A brief moment of static... then the regular FWF transmission returns......)
TONY ROSS: Err... Mr. aahhh, Mr. Malec... I've just been informed that you're voice was just dubbed out!
(Malec glares at Tony momentarily then...)
SCOTT MALEC: Enjoy your little games while you can.... WHOEVER you are, after I catch up to you.... you WILL regret EVER interferring with FWF operations!
(Without saying another word Malec turns and walks off towards the dressing rooms..... no more than TEN seconds after Malec storms off.... Shades comes strolling back, with a smile on his face....)
JAKE SHADES: OH! I feel TEN POUNDS lighter! Oh and by the way... CHARMIN REALLY IS THE SOFTEST!! By the way, did I miss anything?
TONY ROSS: Somehow.... I'm sure you're up to date on the FWF current events. Right now, we're gonna go down to Paul Kramer as he prepares for the next match......
(Cameras fade in on ring announcer Paul Kramer as he grabs the mike and begins barking the next match.....)
PAUL KRAMER: LAAAAAAADIIIEEEEES and GEEEEEENTLEEEEMEEEN! Our next contest involves yet ANOTHER FWF debut!! Standing at 6'-7", weighing 283 lbs., he hails from Phoenix Arizona, he's HENRYYYYYY GOOOOOOLDWIIIIIIRE!!
(CUE UP: "Mary Jane's Last Dance" by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. Not really knowing much of this individual, the fans give him a mixed reaction as he steps onto the entrance way ramp and with a look of determination, he makes his way to the ring.....)
PAUL KRAMER: And his opponent... standing at 5'-9", and weighing 199 lbs., he is a former PWA IC Champion, a former FCW World Champion, a former PMLU National Champion, and a former, one half PWA Tag Team Champion... hailing from Chicago's own Rockefeller Psychiatric Ward, he's the unpredictable.... FERRIT FANATIIIIIIIIC!!!
(CUE UP: "I'm Alone" by Nirvana as Ferrit Fanatic races down the aisle wearing a straight jacket! He circles the ring a few times before he finally seems to calm down somewhat and then rips himself out of the straight jacket!)
JAKE SHADES: Ya know.... that Fanatic is MY kinda LOON!!
TONY ROSS: It figures YOU would appreciate behavior such as that!
JAKE SHADES: What can I say... I'm an INNOVATOR!! Ya know, I know this Goldwire fella is new and all... but there's SOMETHING familiar about him!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: You know Tony... as much as I hate to admit it, I HAVE to agree with Shades!
TONY ROSS: What? About the INNOVATOR nonsense?!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: No Tony, although now that you mention it.... I can see how Fanatic COULD be emulating Shades with his unorthodox behavior.... No, actually I'm referring to his comment about Goldwire.... there IS something about him....
TONY ROSS: Well, now that you mention it, he does sort of remind me of someone.... I just can't remember who though.....
JAKE SHADES: I know who... doesn't he look like FRAZIER CRAINE!?! Ya know, the head shrinker from that CHEERS sitcom!?!
TONY ROSS: Ya know, just when we take you seriously you start with your nonsense!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: This Goldwire fella just stands there as Fanatic runs circles around him. Goldwire doesn't even turn around as Fanatic goes behind him!! I don't know if that's CONFIDENCE or FOOLHARDINESS!!
TONY ROSS: Fanatic jumps on Goldwire's back... and he starts BITING HIM!!! Goldwire propells himself backward and CRUSHES Fanatic against the turnbuckle!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Goldwire with a series of European uppercuts! He sends Fanatic into the ropes... FLYING CLOTHESLINE!!
TONY ROSS: HE JUST LEVELED FANATIC!! He pulls Fanatic up and ... OH!! FANATIC WITH A THUMB TO THE EYES!! A RAKE ACROSS GOLDWIRE'S BACK FOLLOWED BY A SPINNING HEEL KICK SENDS GOLDWIRE CRASHING TO THE MAT!!
JAKE SHADES: Man that Fanatic sure fights dirty! I LIKE HIM!!
TONY ROSS: Fanatic grabs Goldwire by the hair... GOLDWIRE WITH AN ELBOW TO THE BELLY... ANOTHER... AND ANOTHER!!! BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Goldwire drops an elbow to Ferrit's chest! He goes for another... BUT FERRIT ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY!
TONY ROSS: He pulls Goldwire up by the hair and sends him flying THROUGH THE ROPES AND INTO THE RING POST!! Goldwire, slow to get up... he's favoring that shoulder... He may have dislocated it!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: I think you're right Tony and I think Fanatic senses that as he starts running circles around the injured Goldwire... almost as if he's getting ready to move in for the kill!
JAKE SHADES: Would any of you be surprised at all if Fanatic were to lift his leg and PEE on Goldwire??
TONY ROSS: No, but I would be surprised if YOU would EVER say SOMETHING intelligent!! VICTOR ALVAREZ: Ferrit is wasting entirely too much time with that running around! All he's doing is giving Goldwire time to regroup!
TONY ROSS: I agree Victor.... but then again... this IS Ferrit Fanatic we're talking about.... a man who calls asylums his home!!
JAKE SHADES: That's what I usually refer to as my place of work!
TONY ROSS: Ferrit finally moves in.... he lunges at Goldwire.... who turns it into a ONE ARMED POWER SLAM!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Goldwire is still favoring that shoulder and at the same time trying to keep it away from Fanatic!
TONY ROSS: Ya know.... even the way Goldwire MOVES reminds me of someone!! It's like Deja Vu! I KNOW he reminds of someone but I can't quite place it!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: I know EXACTLY how you feel Tony.... there is something very familiar about him!
JAKE SHADES: I KNOW WHERE I SAW HIM BEFORE!! Wasn't he that BIG NOSED guy who used to do those American Express Commercials?? Ya know.... "Don't leave home without it"??
TONY ROSS: That was Karl Malden you idiot!!
JAKE SHADES: You mean Karl Malden used to be a wrestler??
TONY ROSS: (ignoring Shades) Ferrit back up now... he's trying desperately to attack Goldwire's injured shoulder and THAT may be a huge mistake!!
JAKE SHADES: WHY?? THAT'S WHAT I WOULD DO??
TONY ROSS: Because you idiot... ANY ring veteran will KNOW your focus of attack and exploit it!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: And that's EXACTLY what Goldwire is doing!! Tony LOOK!!
TONY ROSS: Goldwire leans against the turnbuckle..... Ferrit charges..... OH! A BOOT TO THE MID SECTION!!! FERRIT IS GASPING FOR AIR!! And LOOK!! GOLDWIRE DROPS AN ELBOW TO THE SMALL OF THE BACK .... USING HIS INJURED SHOULDER!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: GOLDWIRE WAS PLAYING POSSUM ALL THIS TIME!!
JAKE SHADES: Yeah... that's EXACTLY what I woulda done!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Whoever this Goldwire is.... he CERTAINLY is NO ROOKIE!!
TONY ROSS: Goldwire lifts him up... BACK BREAKER!! Goldwire pulls Ferrit to his feet... and Ferrit comes back with a chop to the throat!! That staggers Goldwire.... another chop by Ferrit!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: But Goldwire responds with a right hook!! And another... and ANOTHER!!
TONY ROSS: Ferrit blocks one of the punches... he grabs the arm .... AND HE'S BITING HIM!!!
JAKE SHADES: Hey don't they feed this guy in those asylums??
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Goldwire yells out in pain... he start pounding on Ferrit with his free arm... but Ferrit HANGS ON!!
TONY ROSS: FERRIT KNEES HIM IN THE STOMACH!!! GOLDWIRE IS DOUBLED OVER IN PAIN.... it looks as if Ferrit is gonna set him up for suplex..... NO!!! SMALL PACKAGE BY GOLDWIRE..... 1... 2.... 3!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: GOLDWIRE HAS WON!! Ferrit back up to his feet... he can't believe it!! He's going crazy out there!! He starts to chase referee Putz around the ring....
JAKE SHADES: Man I never knew a referee could run so fast!
TONY ROSS: The referee tries to hide behind Goldwire... but Ferrit keeps coming... AND FERRIT AND GOLDWIRE GO AT IT AGAIN!!! NEITHER ARE LETTING UP!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony... they're a little too close to... OH THEY BOTH GO OVER THE TOP ROPE!!!
TONY ROSS: Yeah but they're right back up and at it again!! And here comes security to try to break it up.... OH!! GOLDWIRE JUST LAID OUT ONE OF THE SECURITY MEN!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: AND FERRIT JUST BIT ANOTHER!! TONY, THEY'RE BATTLING ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE DRESSING ROOMS!! AND SECURITY IS RIGHT BEHIND THEM....
JAKE SHADES: They're going about it all wrong.... security should tie some raw meat on a stick to lure him outta here!
TONY ROSS: That's not a bad idea..... maybe they should consider doing that for any of Ferrit's future matches... Fans, we'll be back with the SECOND HALF of INVASION after this commercial break.....
(Cameras fade out as a promo for WRESTLING INTERNATIONAL begins to air.....)
(Fade back to ring announcer Paul Kramer as he grabs the mike and begins barking......)
PAUL KRAMER: LAAAAAAADIIIIEEEESS and GEEEEEENTLEEEEMEEEN!! Welcome to the SECOND HALF of INVASION!! The referee for our next series of matches will be Stu Fields!! For the next match of the evening.... we have... standing at 6'-8", weighing 270 lbs., he hails from the "BIG APPLE".... New York City, he's VENOOOOOOOM!!!!!
(CUE UP: "Stop Being Greedy" by DMX as a large thickly muscled figure appears. As the lights swing in his direction, we see that it is Venom. He sports large black baggy jeans to match his long black hair, which he wears tied back. He is oblivious to the fans as he strides down toward the ring.)
PAUL KRAMER: And his opponent! Standing at 6'-3", weighing 236 lbs., he hails from Detroit, Michigan....... he's GRAAAAAND THEEEEEEEFT!!
(CUE UP: "Detroit Rock City" by Kiss as a powerfully built black man appears on the entrance way ramp. His body displays a few tattoos but the one that stands out the most is the one on his chest which says.... "GRAND THEFT". There is an air of danger about this man as he displays a no nonsense attitude and, just like his opponent for tonight, heads purposefully toward the ring.)
JAKE SHADES: Jesus! ANOTHER match involving a HOODLUM!?! Why does LeBron have to hire the DREGS of society?!?
TONY ROSS: Actually, I was wondering the same thing when I heard YOU were going to be working with us. Besides, unlike you Shades, Grand Theft has PAID his debt to society and has even found god while in prison.
JAKE SHADES: Yeah... I'm sure that's not ALL he found while in the joint!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: You know as far as the CHASE for the FWF GOLD goes.... EVERYTHING is riding on this match for BOTH of them....
TONY ROSS: That's right Victor... they both DESPERATELY need a win here tonight to even think of having a chance at the 4-way dance for the FWF GOLD!
JAKE SHADES: You mean all these guys are beating their brains out just to get a chance at dancing with 3 other guys??? Why the (BLEEP) don't they go to one of those GAY CLUBS like RAMRODS!?!
TONY ROSS: Ramrods?? And how do you know of such a place?
JAKE SHADES: How should I know?? Ask your buddy Victor!! After all, he was the one that told me about that place!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Yeah and that was only because I was questioning why YOUR name was headlining THEIR MARKEE!
JAKE SHADES: HEY!! Don't you guys have a match to call???
(Ross and Alvarez laugh and high five each other as they begin to call the match...)
TONY ROSS: Grand Theft extends his hand for a handshake and Venom takes it.... WAIT!! VENOM YANKS GRAND THEFT FORWARD AND DROPS HIM WITH A SHORT-ARM CLOTHESLINE!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: WHAT A CHEAP SHOT!!
JAKE SHADES: HEY!!! Didn't you just say that EVERYTHING was on the line tonight for both of them?? Venom is doing what he's SUPPOSED to and that's win at ANY COST!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: There IS such a thing as sportsmanship you know!
JAKE SHADES: Yeah... that's the claim to fame of ALL LOSERS!
TONY ROSS: Venom pulls up Grand Theft and sends him to the ropes.... BIG BOOT TO THE FACE SENDS THEFT DOWN!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Venom is ALL BUSINESS TONIGHT!! BIG LEG DROP!! Venom continues his assault as he pulls Theft to a sitting position and locks his hands about Theft's wrists, drives the knee into his back and applies reverse pressure!!
TONY ROSS: Theft better find a way to get out of this hold soon because if not he'll risk serious injury....
JAKE SHADES: Maybe he should pray to his new found god for help and hope that he answers his prayers?
TONY ROSS: It looks as if he has 'cause he's beginning to struggle to a standing position.... he's on one knee....
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Venom starts applying even more pressure.... the fans are starting to chant Theft's name!! They're 100% behind Theft here and he seems to draw strength from it!! He's up on BOTH FEET NOW!!
TONY ROSS: INCREDIBLE!!! Theft has forced his way to a standing position and is now using his massive upper body strength to try and break free!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony would you look at the Theft's muscles bulging as he struggles to break the hold?!
JAKE SHADES: Figures YOU would take note of a MAN's muscles Victor....
TONY ROSS: The fans are starting to chant louder now! "GRAND THEFT.... GRAND THEFT.... GRAND THEFT" He's almost got it.... AND THEFT DUCKS UNDER AND REVERSES THE HOLD ON VENOM!! INCREDIBLE DISPLAY OF STRENGTH FROM THEFT!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Theft is giving Venom a taste of his own medicine!! Venom refuses to go down though... Theft HEAD BUTTS him between the shoulder blades!!
TONY ROSS: Venom falls to ONE KNEE!! Theft applying EVEN more pressure on that bow and arrow hold now that he has more leverage on the big man! ANOTHER HEAD BUTT BUT VENOM REFUSES TO GO DOWN!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: In fact.... Venom rises back to a standing position... taking ALL the leverage AWAY from Theft!! Theft trying vainly to force the big man back down but Venom is just TOO strong!
TONY ROSS: Venom with a show of strength of his own, forces Theft's arms upward and ...... OH he back kicks Theft in the GROIN!!
JAKE SHADES: Now THAT is what I call BUSTING A MOVE!!
TONY ROSS: Venom pulls Theft to him.... SLING SHOT SUPLEX!! Venom snapped Theft down SO hard with that move that Theft's bodt bounced about a FOOT OFF THE MAT!!! Theft in obvious pain as he gets up holding his back!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Venom grabs Theft in a headlock... DDT!!! Venom goes for the pin! 1.... 2.... and VENOM PULLS THEFT UP!! HE HAD HIM BEAT!! HOW DISPICABLE... HE JUST WANTS TO PUNISH HIM!!!
JAKE SHADES: What are you complaining about man!? All he wants to do is show THEFT that CRIME DOESN'T PAY!!
TONY ROSS: Usually when a wrestler pulls a stunt like that... they end up regretting it later on in the match!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: I don't know if that'll be the case here Tony... Venom is just PUNISHING Theft right now with vicious kicks to the back of his head!!
TONY ROSS: The crowd it trying to get Theft back into this match as they begin to chant his name again.... "GRAND THEFT.... GRAND THEFT..... GRAND THEFT"
VICTOR ALVAREZ: AND LOOK TONY!! ONCE AGAIN THEFT SEEMS TO DRAW STRENGTH FROM THE FANS!! HE GETS TO HIS FEET!!! VENOM POUNDS ON HIM BUT HE JUST STARES AT VENOM!!
TONY ROSS: AND THEFT EXPLODES WITH BLOWS OF HIS OWN!! VENOM GRABS HIM IN A CHOKEHOLD AND LIFTS HIM UP INTO THE AIR!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: INCREDIBLE DISPLAY OF STRENGTH BY VENOM!!
JAKE SHADES: (yawning) You think THAT'S something... Wait 'til you see what I'm gonna do to MALEC the next time he gets in my face!!
TONY ROSS: What?? Lose control of your BLADDER again??
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Referee Fields ordering Venom to release the hold.... and HE TOSSES THEFT OVER THE TOP ROPE!!!
TONY ROSS: Venom goes out after him... and he grabs a chair!! HE SWINGS .... THEFT DUCKS!!! HE HAS THEFT TRAPPED AGAINST THE RING APRON... HE SWINGS THE CHAIR OVERHEAD... THEFT DUCKS.... THE CHAIR HITS THE RING ROPES.... RECOILS BACK AND HITS VENOM ON THE HEAD!!! VENOM IS DOWN!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: And now Theft has the chair!! Venom slow to get up... OH! A CHAIR SHOT TO THE SMALL OF THE BACK!! VENOM DROPS TO HIS KNEES!!
JAKE SHADES: HEY THAT'S NOT FAIR!! HE'S USING A CHAIR!! I THOUGHT THIS GUY WAS A BORN AGAIN WATCHAMACALLIT??
TONY ROSS: I don't think that has any bearing on his wrestling habits..... Venom stumbles to his feet... Theft raises the chair overhead and charges at Venom....
TONY ROSS: THEFT SWINGS..... VENOM CATCHES THE CHAIR IN MID AIR!! HE RIPS THE CHAIR OUT OF THEFT'S HANDS AND THROWS INTO THE FANS!!!
JAKE SHADES: HEY!! I think he struck the old lady that fought me for that T-shirt!! That'll show that old bag!! GOOD SHOT VENOM!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Would you look at the expression on Venom's face?!?! THERE'S MURDER IN THOSE EYES!!!
TONY ROSS: Venom grabs Theft by the throat... he lifts Theft up... CHOKE SLAM!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Not just ANY chokeslam Tony.... that's what he calls his "Initial Strike".... the prelude to his finisher, The Kiss of Death!!
TONY ROSS: And I think that'll be the next move as he lifts Theft up by the trunks and tosses him back into the ring like a bag of trash!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Theft has absolutely NO IDEA where he is as Venom glares down at him.....
TONY ROSS: Venom pulls him up....
VICTOR ALVAREZ: It looks like he's getting ready for... YES HE IS!! He's applying his finisher, the "The Kiss of Death"!
TONY ROSS: TORNADO DDT!!! THEFT IS LAID OUT ON THE MAT!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: AWWW C'MON... THERE'S NO NEED FOR THAT!! HE PLACES A FOOT ON THEFT'S CHEST....
JAKE SHADES: SURE THERE IS!! WE MUST "STOMP" OUT CRIME IN OUR LIFE TIME!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Then why aren't you sporting any footprints on your body?
JAKE SHADES: (obcenely extends the middle fingers of both hands as he does his best NIXON impersonation) I AM NOT A CROOK!!
TONY ROSS: Fields with the count... 1.... 2.... 3!!! LISTEN TO THE FAN REACTION VICTOR.... THEY ARE THOROUGHLY DISGUSTED WITH THIS OUTCOME!!
JAKE SHADES: I'm not.... I rather enjoyed the ending!
TONY ROSS: You WOULD!! Venom with the big win here tonight, stays alive in the chase for FWF GOLD. Now we'll turn it over to ring announcer Paul Kramer as the next match is getting underway....
(Cameras zoom back to the ring as we await the start of the next match......)
(Cameras focus in on ring announcer Paul Kramer as he raises the mike to his lips and begins his bark....)
PAUL KRAMER: FOR OUR NEXT CONTEST!!! We have at 200 lbs., standing 5'-8", hailing from Raleigh, North Carolina, he's the "HUMAN DEMOLITION DERBY", DARREN MACMIIIIILLAAAAAAN!!
(CUE UP: "Guilty" by Gravity Kills. From out of the entrance ramp emerges a baby faced man....he's dressed in a Charlotte Hornets jersey and tattered fatigues tucked into his combat boots.. with his long blonde hair tied back in a pony tail.... he smiles broadly as the fans cheer him on.... he makes his way down the aisle... slapping hands and signing autographs....)
PAUL KRAMER: And his opponent... standing at 5'-11", weighing 225 lbs., he has bragging rights to being ONE HALF of the WAR World Tag Champions, hailing from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, and he is on loan to the FWF from the WAR promotion, he's MICHAEL "THE DRAGON" KERRIGAAAAAAAAN!!
(CUE UP: "Real Solution #9" by White Zombie. From out of the entrance way ramp emerges Kerrigan, he is instantly booed by the fans as he stands there responding to a few hecklers. He appears as young as MacMillan with a youthful look and short black hair.... and he proudly displays the Canadian flag colors on his pants as he points to them and curses out a fan.)
JAKE SHADES: Is it me or are these guys not even old enough to shave??
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Don't let their youth fool you Shades, Kerrigan is an accomplished World Class Athlete and MacMillan recently took King Krusher to the limits in an ACW match!
TONY ROSS: Well it certainly isn't difficult to figure out WHO the fans are behind here tonight!
JAKE SHADES: And who would that be??
TONY ROSS: Why MacMillan of course!!
JAKE SHADES: Then I'm behind KERRIGAN!! The EASY money says..... ALWAYS bet AGAINST the fans because they are STUPID!!
TONY ROSS: Is THAT your system for placing bets?
JAKE SHADES: Yep.... works like a charm every time!
TONY ROSS: And you have the nerve to call the fans stupid!?
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Okay... they tie up in the middle of the ring..... each trying to get the early advantage.... and Kerrigan with the hair pull push off!!
TONY ROSS: Referee Stu Fields asking Kerrigan about a hair pull.... Kerrigan vehemently denying it however!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: They lock up again...... and KERRIGAN AGAIN GRABS THE HAIR AND THIS TIME THROWS MACMILLAN DOWN TO THE MAT!!
TONY ROSS: Referee asking Kerrigan again about the hair pull and Kerrigan of course denies it......
JAKE SHADES: Has it ever dawned on you that Kerrigan might just be telling the truth!?
TONY ROSS: What are you BLIND!!! EVERYONE HERE SAW IT!!
JAKE SHADES: Well I guess it's lucky for me that I DON'T GIVE A (BLEEP) ABOUT ANYONE'S OPINION BUT MY OWN!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: They lock up once again... and Kerrigan reaches for the hair... ARM DRAG TAKE DOWN BY MACMILLAN!! KERRIGAN TO HIS FEET... DROP KICK BY MACMILLAN... KERRIGAN BACK UP.... ANOTHER DROP KICK SENDS KERRIGAN BACK DOWN!!!
TONY ROSS: And Kerrigan decides to break the momentum by rolling out of the ring..... That's where the experience comes in.... not losing your head and maintaining your cool!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Kerrigan takes as much of the ten count as he can before he climbs back in. MacMillan rushes him.... Kerrigan with a shoulder block to the belly through the ropes!! MacMillan stumbles back....
TONY ROSS: Now Kerrigan moves in... DROP TOE HOLD by MacMillan!! Kerrigan reaches around and grabs a hold of MacMillan's hair.... AND STU FIELDS SMACKS HIS HAND AWAY!!
JAKE SHADES: HEY!! He can't do that!! He's not supposed to get physically involved!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Fields is within his rights to do WHATEVER is necessary to maintain order!
TONY ROSS: Kerrigan slams his fist against the mat... part in frustration and part in pain!! Kerrigan reaches over and..... A RAKE OF THE EYES BREAKS THE HOLD!!! Kerrigan up to his feet now.... he hooks MacMillan.... RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP!! He pulls him back up by the hair.... SNAPMARE TAKE DOWN!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Say what you will about Kerrigan's tactics but there is no denying the man has wrestling talent!!! Why he chooses to break the rules is beyond me!?
JAKE SHADES: That must explain why you're such a loser Victor!!
TONY ROSS: Kerrigan with a front face lock... referee Stu Fields quickly moves in to check for a choke hold..... MacMillan fights his way up to his feet.... and HE REVERSES IT INTO A SLEEPER HOLD!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Kerrigan desperately fights to get to the ropes... and he makes it!! MacMillan has to break the hold!! KERRIGAN WITH AN ELBOW TO THE FACE!!! Kerrigan quickly hops up to the top turnbuckle and flies off with a MISSLE DROPKICK THAT SENDS MACMILLAN CLEAR ACROSS THE RING!!
JAKE SHADES: Now THAT'S what it's all about.... (BLEEP) fighting fair.... do what you gotta do to win.... remember, It's not HOW you play the game that matters .... ONLY that you WIN!!!
TONY ROSS: You know Shades... you should take a moment to consider that MAYBE you're considered a role model by some of these young aspiring kids and MAYBE you should think of THEM FIRST before you speak!!
JAKE SHADES: HEY! It's not MY job to be a role model... that CHORE goes to their parents... if they like me cool... if not well (BLEEP) 'EM!! When it comes right down to it... the MOST important person in the world to me is ME and whoever doesn't like it can KISS MY (BLEEP)!!!
TONY ROSS: They may not KISS it but I'm sure they'd LOVE TO KICK IT!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Speaking of kicking butt.... Kerrigan is doing just that right now as he uses his ring experience over MacMillan to his advantage!!
TONY ROSS: Kerrigan with an abdominal stretch on MacMillan!! Referee Stu Putz is asking MacMillan if he wants to submit... MacMillan vehemently yells out 'NO'!!! Kerrigan trying to apply more pressure by reaching for the ropes.... AND HE DOES AS MACMILLAN YELLS OUT IN PAIN!!! The fans are going ballistic yelling for the ref to look toward the ropes!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: TOO LATE!! Kerrigan released the ropes just before referee Fields looked that way! Fields back to asking MacMillan about submitting.... Kerrigan reaches for the ropes... HE'S GOT IT AGAIN!! BUT REFEREE FIELDS CATCHES HIM THIS TIME!!
TONY ROSS: Fields starts the count.... but Kerrigan won't let go.... FIELDS KICKS KERRIGAN'S HAND OFF THE ROPES!! MACMILLAN FLIPS KERRIGAN OVER!! AND THE FANS ARE GOING WILD!!!
JAKE SHADES: HEY! WHAT THE (BLEEP)!! THE REF CAN'T GET AWAY WITH THAT!!
TONY ROSS: Really?? From where I'm sitting.... it looks like HE JUST DID!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: MacMillan catching his second wind now.... He grabs Kerrigan in a side head lock... Kerrigan tries to fling him to the ropes but MacMillan turns it into a running bulldog!!
TONY ROSS: MacMillan up to the top rope.... Kerrigan staggers to his feet... MacMillan leaps off with a Plancha!!! OH!! KERRIGAN CAUGHT HIM IN MID AIR AND TURNED IT INTO A POWERBOMB!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Kerrigan positions himself behind MacMillan.... he's waiting for him to get up.... DRAGON SLEEPER BY KERRIGAN!!
TONY ROSS: THAT'S HIS FINISHER!! He's got it LOCKED on TIGHT!! MacMillan is struggling wildly!! Referee Fields moves in immediately to check for a chokehold!!
JAKE SHADES: CHOKE HOLD MY (BLEEP)!!! THAT REF WILL DO ANYTHING TO HELP MACMILLAN!!! HE'S PROVEN THAT A FEW TIMES ALREADY!!
TONY ROSS: Referee Fields raises MacMillan's arm... IT DROPS! He raises it a second time.... IT DROPS!! He raises it a third time.... IT HANGS MOMENTARILY... THEN IT DROPS FOR THE THIRD AND FINAL TIME!!!
JAKE SHADES: OH YES!! JUSTICE PREVAILS!!! KERRIGAN WINS!!
TONY ROSS: Kerrigan refuses to let go!! Referee Fields starts counting.... FINALLY KERRIGAN RELEASES THE HOLD!! BUT HE PROCEEDS IN KICKING THE FALLEN MACMILLAN!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony if somebody doesn't stop him.... MacMillan is gonna be SERIOUSLY hurt!!
(Suddenly we begin to hear the music of "More Human Than Human"!! The fans ERUPT WITH CHEERS!!)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: That's SAGE'S music!!! But where is he??
TONY ROSS: Even Kerrigan is looking around now.... LOOK!! Sage just emerged from the crowd and slid underneath the bottom rope, and he's standing RIGHT BEHIND THE UNSUSPECTING KERRIGAN!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: AND HE'S HOLDING A SINGAPORE CANE IN HIS HANDS!!
JAKE SHADES: Yeah... just like a COWARD!! SNEAKING BEHIND SOMEONE WITH A WEAPON!!
TONY ROSS: Sage taps Kerrigan on the shoulder... KERRIGAN WHIRLS ABOUT AND GETS A FACE-FULL OF SINGAPORE CANE!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: KERRIGAN FALLS BACKWARD AND ROLLS OUT OF THE RING HOLDING HIS FOREHEAD!!! HE LOOKS BACK AT SAGE, POINTS AT HIM AS HE MAKES HIS WAY BACK TO THE DRESSING ROOM!!
TONY ROSS: MacMillan gets up to his feet.... he and Sage stare at each other....
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony... it looks as if MacMillan just said something to Sage! They continue to glare at each other.... AND THEY SHAKE HANDS!!
TONY ROSS: It looks as if they've come to some sort of agreement.... NOW SAGE RAISES MACMILLAN'S HAND!! AND THE CROWD GOES WILD!!!
JAKE SHADES: When is LeBron gonna do something about these CHEAP, COWARDLY SNEAK ATTACKS!!
TONY ROSS: Probably ONE MINUTE after he fires YOU!! Fans, we'll be right back with the next match after this commercial break......
(Cameras fade on the Kemper Arena as a promo for MILLENIUM WRESTLING FEDERATION explodes on the screen.....)
(Fade back to the Kemper Arena where the fans have finally quieted down some.... ring announcer Paul Kramer grabs the mike and does his thing......)
PAUL KRAMER: For our next contest.... we have standing at 6'-2", weighing 285 lbs., hailing from Boston, Massachussettes, he's HEEEEEEELIIIIIIX!!!
(CUE UP: "Nobody's Fault" by Aerosmith as fireworks begin to explode by the entrance way ramp. Through the smoke and blaze of fireworks steps a large silhoutte dressed in a long trenchcoat, baggy jeans and boots.... as the fireworks continue to explode we see that it is none other than Helix! He swaggers down the aisle.... stopping occasionally to look around... then he continues his walk toward the ring, slapping a few hands on the way and stops again and begins to glare at a group of rowdy individuals who are heckling him. He then continues on to the ring as ring announcer Paul Kramer is about to introduce his opponent)
PAUL KRAMER: And his oppon......
( INTERRUPTED...)
(Helix suddenly pulls the mike out of Paul Kramer's hand, points to those same individuals who were heckling him before and.....)
HELIX: YOU THERE!! THAT'S RIGHT... YOU FIVE!! I TOLD YOU BEFORE THAT MY GANG BANGING DAYS WITH YOU WERE OVER BUT SINCE YOU'RE ALL TOO STUPID TO UNDERSTAND THAT, THEN I GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE TO BEAT IT INTO YOU!!! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?? IT'LL BE A FAIR FIGHT, AFTER ALL, IT'S ONLY ME AGAINST THE FIVE OF YOU!!!
(As if on cue Helix's five former gangbanger friends rush out of the crowd and race toward the ring......)
TONY ROSS: Look at this!! The match hasn't even started yet and we got ourselves an all out gang fight!!
JAKE SHADES: If LeBron keeps signing these criminal types then he's gonna have to hire me a body guard!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: LOOK AT HELIX GO!! HE'S SHOWING THEM ALL A LESSON IN THE ART OF WRESTLING!!
TONY ROSS: It's almost a farce the way he so EASILY handles them!! I can't believe he ever associated with such losers! He may as well have started hanging out with Shades!!
JAKE SHADES: HEY! I have very high standards which Helix could NEVER MEET!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Helix has just cleaned house in there!! Look at them scatter!! And finally here comes security!
JAKE SHADES: That's right slap the cuffs on them!! And when you're finished with them don't forget to come back for these two clowns sitting next to me!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: WAIT!! One of those gangbangers just grabbed a mike and is saying something..... GANGBANGER: You haven't heard the last of us Helix!! We'll be back .... we'll be back with an ally!!!
TONY ROSS: That didn't sound like an idle threat but Helix doesn't really look too concerned though.
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Well that's understandable.... just look at the way he manhandled those FIVE hoods all by himself!!
TONY ROSS: Well one thing is for sure.... Helix is gonna have a lot more trouble with his opponent than he did with those five! Paul, back to you......
(Paul Kramer looks around nervously as if to make sure that no other gangbangers are lurking about... after a few moments, he resumes his barking.....)
PAUL KRAMER: And his opponents, errr.. I mean opponent, standing at 6'-0", weighing 200 lbs., he hails from Riverside, California, he's FRANKIIIIEE CASILLAAAAAS!!
(CUE UP: "The Delinquent Song" by Voodoo Glow Skulls. Standing on the entrance way ramp is a man dressed in baggy blue jean shorts, white T-shirt, black Converse sneakers, with numerous tattoos littering his arms. He has a serious expression on his face as he strides down toward the ring)
TONY ROSS: Well if you look at it.... this is gonna be Helix's SECOND match of the evening, and whether or not that will have a bearing on this match remains to be seen.
VICTOR ALVAREZ: I don't think it will Tony.... Helix didn't look to even break a sweat with that previous fracas.
JAKE SHADES: Nah... all he did was break wind.
VICTOR ALVAREZ: PLEASE!! Helix is one of the up and coming superstars today! He was scheduled to battle Nevada Smith, another up and coming star, for the NCWA World Title, but unfortunately before that could take place, the NCWA suddenly closed its doors!
JAKE SHADES: BIG DEAL!! He was gonna fight ANOTHER nobody for a belt that represented a league that opened and closed overnight!!! Yeah... real impressive credentials!!
TONY ROSS: Well Helix may have been robbed at his chance at glory in the NCWA but that's something he doesn't have to worry about here..... The FWF is here to STAY!!
JAKE SHADES: Not unless that PIRATE TRANSMISSION DUDE has anything to say about it!
TONY ROSS: Actually he doesn't.... case closed!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: They lock up.... and Helix tosses him into the turnbuckle!! Casillas just looks at him and shakes his head.... they tie up again... and this time Helix is sent flying into the turnbuckle.
TONY ROSS: Victor, I hadn't noticed before but Helix's side is wrapped in bandages.... and a few of his fingers are taped together???
VICTOR ROSS: That's right Tony... a few days ago Helix narrowly escaped being run over by a speeding sportscar as he risked his own life to save the cameraman during his last interview!!
JAKE SHADES: Actually he sustained those injuries 'cause he tried to take my FWF commemorative Jake Shades T-shirt from me!! I didn't want to hurt him but he left me no choice!!
TONY ROSS: Yeah... I'm sure... anyway... many have speculated that the driver of that car may have been one of his former gangbanger friends!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: After what happened tonight Tony, I wouldn't be at all surprised!
TONY ROSS: They lock up again in the middle of the ring... test of strength now..... HELIX JUST SLAMS CASILLAS DOWN TO THE MAT WITH AUTHORITY!!
JAKE SHADES: Who's authority?? I didn't give him permission!! Guess I'll just have to give him ANOTHER ass whipping!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Casillas back up though and he charges Helix! Helix with an arm drag take down .... Casillas back up and SPEARS HELIX DOWN!!!
TONY ROSS: That knocked the wind out of Helix!! Casillas pulls him up.... SNAP SUPLEX!! He traps Helix in a reverse chin lock.... Helix reaches for Casillas' head... and HE FLIPS CASILLAS OVER!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Helix slow to get up.... Casillas with a LARIAT sends Helix back to the mat!!
JAKE SHADES: That's EXACTLY the way I dropped him when he tried to get tough with me!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: I think Helix is injured! He's favoring his side as he struggles to his feet.....
TONY ROSS: Casillas to the top turnbuckle.... MISSLE DROPKICK!!! HE CAUGHT HIM ON HELIX'S INJURED SIDE!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: HELIX YELLS OUT IN AGONY AS HE CLUTCHES HIS SIDE!!! Casillas rushes over to the injured Helix and he... NO!! HE PULLS THE BANDAGE OFF OF HELIX'S SIDE!!! AND HE'S CHOKING HELIX WITH IT!!!
TONY ROSS: Referee Stu Fields with the count... Casillas refuses to let go.... now Stu Fields is threatening to disqualify him.... and Casillas finally lets go!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony would you look at Helix's face!!! HIS FACE IS THE COLOR BLUE!!!
JAKE SHADES: Why are you so excited about his bluish pallor.... you've seen that color before.... in fact you experience it all the time don't you ..... BLUE BALLS!?!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: You're disgusting....
JAKE SHADES: True... but at least I GETS ME SOME!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Yeah... with all that HOT AIR of yours you should have no problem inflating those BLOW UP DOLLS!!
JAKE SHADES: Hey! THAT WAS NEVER PROVEN!!
TONY ROSS: Casillas taking full control now as he puts Helix in an abdominal stretch... Helix in agony now as Casillas applies the pressure to his injured side!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Helix better mount a come back soon if he hopes to gain a victory here tonight!
TONY ROSS: Sounds as if he heard you Victor.... Helix is starting to show some signs of life now... the fans are starting to chant his name.... Helix is responding... HE FLIPS CASILLAS OVER!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Just escaping that hold took almost every bit of energy he had Tony... Helix leans against the ropes... Casillas sees him... he approaches Helix ... he's setting Helix up for a piledriver.... OH HELIX SENDS HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE WITH A BACK BODY DROP!!!
TONY ROSS: Casillas slow to get up out there... Helix doesn't waste any time though ... he's up to the top turnbuckle.... FLYING CROSSBODY BLOCK FINDS IT'S MARK!! Helix CRUSHED Casillas with that move!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Yeah... but I think he reinjured his side Tony.... Helix is also slow to get up!
JAKE SHADES: And let's not forget who INITIALLY injured his side now shall we?? (smiling proudly as blows on his fingernails and rubs them against his chest)
TONY ROSS: Is that right? You mean you're actually taking credit for attacking Helix and injuring his side?
JAKE SHADES: The one and only!
TONY ROSS: Alright boys... you heard him confess... now do your job!
(Suddenly, from out of the aisle entrance way emerges THREE POLICE OFFICERS as they walk straight up to Jake Shades.... two of them cuff him while the other one begins to read him his rights.....)
POLICE OFFICER: You have the right to remain silent.....
JAKE SHADES: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?!?! GET OFF ME!?!
POLICE OFFICER: If you cannot afford an attorney.....
JAKE SHADES: WAIT!! WAIT!! I WAS JUST KIDDING!! WAIT! THERE'S MALEC!! WAIT ASK HIM!! HE'LL TELL YOU!!
(FWF VP Scott Malec appears coming down the aisle... he has a serious expression on his face as he approaches...)
POLICE OFFICER: Mr. Malec... this gentlemen claims that this is all just a misunderstanding and that you can clear this all up.....
SCOTT MALEC: Yep. I certainly can clear this up.... I just heard him BRAGGING about how he was SOLELY responsible for injuring Helix! And as we all saw on tape.... Helix was a victim of a hit and run.... as far as I'm concerned that's as good as a confession!!
POLICE OFFICER: That's what we thought Mr. Malec. Come along sir, you have a lot of explaining to do.
JAKE SHADES: NO WAIT!! IT WAS ALL JUST A JOKE!! MALEC!! MALEC, I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS!!
(The three officers drag the screaming Shades away as FWF VP Scott Malec trails behind them... SMILING BROADLY!!)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony! Did he really....
TONY ROSS: I don't know...... but we'll find our more during one of the commercial breaks.... right now we still have a match to call....
VICTOR ALVAREZ: OH MY GOD!! THAT'S RIGHT!! Fans we apologize for this interruption.....
TONY ROSS: Well it appears that after some vicious battling outside of the ring.... they both finally managed to make it back inside the ring.....
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Casillas with a boot to the ribs!! Doubles Helix over... Casillas lifts Helix.... BACK BREAKER!!! Helix writhing in pain on the mat!!
TONY ROSS: Casillas senses victory here as he pulls Helix up to his feet... sends him flying into the ropes.... Casillas with a boot to Helix's stomach! Helix is doubled over in pain!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Casillas going for the suplex... REVERSE NECK BREAKER BY HELIX!!!
TONY ROSS: BOTH MEN ARE DOWN!! Just when it looks as if Helix is done for... he pulls out another surprise!! Neither of these men are moving however as referee Stu fields begins the 10 count!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony!! Helix is starting to stir....
TONY ROSS: But so is Casillas!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: The count is up to SEVEN.....
TONY ROSS: Helix is up FIRST!! He goes over to Casillas pulls him up! Casillas with a KNEE TO THE STOMACH!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Helix down to his knees!! Casillas POUNDING AWAY AT HELIX'S FORHEAD!! HELIX IS SWAYING BACK AND FORTH ON HIS KNEES BUT HE REFUSES TO GO DOWN!! WHAT IS KEEPING THIS MAN GOING??
TONY ROSS: I don't know but by the looks of it, I don't know how much longer he can withstand this punishment!! Remember, not only did he come into this match injured... but he also had to fight off those FIVE gangbanger ex-friends of his before even hooking up with Casillas!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Casillas KICKS HELIX IN THE CHEST!! HELIX FINALLY GOES DOWN!!
TONY ROSS: Casillas pulls Helix back up to his feet....
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony I think he's gonna go for that suplex again!!
TONY ROSS: CASILLAS HAS HIM UP!!! HE'S HOLDING HELIX UP IN THE AIR!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: TONY LOOK!! HELIX IS KICKING HIS LEGS .... HE'S SHIFTING HIS WEIGHT!! CASILLAS IS LOSING HIS BALANCE!!
TONY ROSS: HELIX LANDS BEHIND CASILLAS!! He pulls his legs out from under him!! Casillas falls FACE FIRST onto the mat!! Helix stands over Casillas ..... he lifts him up... CAMEL CLUTCH!!! HELIX HAS HIM TRAPPED IN THE CAMEL CLUTCH!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Referee Stu Fields is asking Casillas if he wants to submit..... Casillas yells out NO!! Helix applies even more pressure!! HE'S ALMOST SITTING ON CASILLAS BACK!!
TONY ROSS: Stu Fields asking Casillas again if he wants to submit..... no answer.... WAIT!! Stu Fields is calling for the BELL!!! CASILLAS SUBMITS!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Helix immediately lets go and drops to the mat himself!! He's holding his side!! He may have a serious injury there! Fields asking him if he's alright.... and referee Fields helps Helix to his feet and raises his hand in victory!
TONY ROSS: Now THAT was definitely a HARD EARNED VICTORY for HELIX!! Just goes to show you the caliber of talent that the FWF represents!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Fans, we'll return with the start of our next match after this commercial break....
(Cameras fade on Alvarez and Ross as they begin to discuss the details leading up to Shades televised arrest.... Fade out as a promo for PRODIGY INTERNET airs.....)
(Cameras fade back to the thunderous roar of the Kemper arena fans! Everywhere you see FWF T-shirts... signs... young people.... older people.... people from all walks of life.... all here for one thing only... to witness the BEST WRESTLING ACTION that can be seen! The cameras slowly pan back and forward until it focuses on the Triple Threat commentating team minus one.....)
TONY ROSS: Hello everyone and welcome back to the FWF INVASION!! In case you're just joining us... you've missed ONE HELL OF A CARD SO FAR!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Not to mention witnessing a public service as our very own Jake Shades was ARRESTED here on NATIONAL TV, DURING one of our matches, on charges of a HIT and RUN a few days ago of one of the FWF's premiere wrestlers, Helix!
TONY ROSS: Who would've ever thought.... I know I've heard rumors of how dispicable Shades could be but I always thought those stories were somewhat exaggerated!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Well Tony, he DOES have a history of a working relationship with the notorious JC of the NEH/UA and from what I understand..... this JC is something like wrestlings' version of the MOB!
TONY ROSS: No wonder then that the FWF is banning JC and the NEH/UA!! Any how, we'll talk more about this developing story regarding Jake Shades and these charges as we receive word on it.... right now, let's go to the ring where Paul Kramer is about to start the next match.....
(Cameras zoom to the ring where Paul Kramer is seen talking with the referee.... actually they seem more like they are disputing rather than conversing.... after a few moments, they seem to settle their differences and go on about their business....)
PAUL KRAMER: LAAAAADIIIEEEEESS and GEEEEENTLEEEEMEEEN!! Our referee for these last series of matches will be 'Head Referee', William Bennett! And for our next contest, standing at 6'-0", weighing 238 lbs., he hails from Death Valley, California, he's GOOOOOLEEEEEM!!!
(CUE UP: "God Bless The Bums" by Comeshot. Stepping out onto the entrance way ramp is a sight not often seen.... a man covered with an EXCESS of GREEN body hair lumbers forward! He is reminiscent of GEORGE THE ANIMAL STEELE as he continues to lumber toward the ring.... stopping occasionally to growl and yell at some of the nearby fans....)
PAUL KRAMER: And his opponent.... standing at 6'-2", weighing 250 lbs., he hails from Dallas, Texas, he's BERSERKER DAAAAAAAVE!!
(CUE UP: "Machine Head" by Bush as a man comes bursting out of the entrance way!! His bald head is in sharp contrast with his arms which are EXCEPTIONALLY hairy compared to the rest of his body!! The earring and nose ring add to the wildness of this man's nature as his eyes dart back and forth.... apparently scanning for something.... he then starts to examine his torn jeans.... then without warning rushes headlong toward the ring.....)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony, now THIS is gonna be an interesting match up! On one side you have this unpredictable lunatic and on the other side you have this demented killer... put them together and all hell is bound to break loose!!
TONY ROSS: Well all hell is about to break loose right now as these two lock up in the middle of the ring!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Just look at them Tony... they look like two WILD animals fighting to the death!!
TONY ROSS: They're just slugging away at each.... OH! FIREMAN CARRY BY BERSERKER SENDS GOLEM TO THE MAT!! Now he's ..... OH MY GOD!!! He's trying to FORCE HIS THUMBS THROUGH GOLEM'S EYE SOCKETS!!!
VICTOR ALVARZEZ: GOLEM IS WRITHING IN PAIN SO MUCH THAT HE INADVERTEDLY BREAKS THE HOLD!!
TONY ROSS: First time I've seen a reaction break a hold! Golem back up to his feet.... immediately met by Berserker!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony this Berserker can REALLY move for a man of his size!
TONY ROSS: They lock up again..... Golem with an arm twist on Berserker.... Berserker displays a clenched fist... and Golem twists that arm again sending Berserker down to one knee!! Golem is starting to pound on the shoulder now!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: The fans are starting to cheer Berserker on!! And it seems to have an effect on him as he rises to his feet.... clenching his fist....
TONY ROSS: BERSERKER WITH A BLOW TO GOLEM'S HEAD... AND ANOTHER!! AND ANOTHER.....
VICTOR ALVAREZ: That one staggered Golem.... Berserker, winding up that punch like a baseball pitcher and BAM!! GOLEM FALLS BACKWARD TO THE MAT!! BERSERKER LOOKS TOWARDS THE FANS..... THE FANS CHEER HIM ON.... BERSERKER IS GOING NUTS!!! HE'S SLAPPING HIMSELF!!! Now he picks up Golem... sends him to the ropes .....POWER SLAM BY BERSERKER!!
TONY ROSS: Berserker lifts Golem up to his feet ..... he sends him to the ropes again.... NO! Reversal by Golem!! Berserker to the ropes!! Golem with a lariat!! Berserker ducks!! Back off the ropes... FLYING BODY PRESS!! GOLEM CATCHES HIM IN MID AIR... FALLS BACKWARD AND DROPS BERSERKER NECK FIRST ONTO THE TOP ROPE!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Berserker on the mat gasping for air!! Golem with a CHOKE HOLD!!! Referee William Bennett counting! Golem breaks the hold and goes right back to it!!
TONY ROSS: Bennett with the count again... Golem breaks the hold and AGAIN starts to choke Berserker... Berserker with a rake of the eyes!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: That managed to break the hold but Berserker is STILL gasping for breath as Golem is right back on him!! Reverse chin lock by Golem.... Referee checking for a chokehold.... WAIT!! GOLEM IS STARTING TO YELL OUT IN PAIN!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: BERSERKER DAVE IS BITING GOLEM ON THE FOREARM!! GOLEM RELEASES THE HOLD AND TRIES FRANTICALLY TO PULL FREE OF BERSERKER!!
TONY ROSS: BERSERKER DAVE LETS GO AND LEVELS GOLEM WITH A SHORT ARM CLOTHESLINE!! Berserker is getting his second wind now as he pulls Golem to his feet and ..... ATOMIC DROP!! Berserker grabs Golem by the head and sends him crashing head first into the turnbuckle!! AGAIN... AND AGAIN!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: And the fans are joining in by counting the turnbuckle head butts.... 5.... 6..... 7.... 9 ..... 10!!! Berserker finally stops..... Golem is teetering back and forth now.... AND HE FALLS BACKWARD!! The fans are going wild!!
TONY ROSS: Berserker up to the top turnbuckle... Victor, this may be a mistake.... he's taking just a little too long...
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony... he's hesitating because he just noticed a cameraman.... you know Tony... he's DEATHLY AFRAID of cameras!! Look!! Berserker is crouching down on the turnbuckle... as if he's trying to hide from the cameraman!!
TONY ROSS: He had better forget about that cameraman and pay attention to Golem who is up on his feet and stumbling towards him!! OH!! GOLEM JUST KICKED THE TOP ROPE AND BERSERKER JUST CROTCHED HIMSELF!!! GOLEM GOING UP NOW... HE WRAPS AN ARM AROUND BERSERKER'S NECK AND LEAPS OFF!! BULLDOG OFF THE TOP ROPE!! OH!! DID YOU HEAR THAT IMPACT VICTOR??
VICTOR ALVAREZ: They both hit hard..... Golem landed awkwardly and knocked the wind out of himself and Berserker isn't moving!!
TONY ROSS: Referee Bennett starting his 10 count.... he doesn't even reach 3 before Golem gets to his feet.... he's still winded though as he lumbers over toward Berserker.... He rolls Berserker over and goes for the pin....
VICTOR ALVAREZ: 1.... 2.... 3!! NO!! GOLEM PURPOSELY PULLS BERSERKER UP, BREAKING THE COUNT!! WHY WOULD HE DO THAT?! HE HAD BERSERKER CLEARLY BEATEN!
TONY ROSS: I don't know... I thought BERSERKER was supposed to be the CRAZY ONE!?!? Golem pulls Berserker to his feet... could this be it?? YES!! GOLEM IS GOING FOR HIS FINISHER... THE CLAW!! HE'S GOT IT ON!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: THAT DEFINITELY BROUGHT BERSERKER OUT OF HIS LETHARGIC STATE!! LOOK AT HIM JUMPING AROUND TRYING TO ESCAPE!! OH MY GOD!! HE'S STARTING TO BLEED TONY!! LOOK! BLOOD IS FLYING AROUND EVERYWHERE!!!
TONY ROSS: That move should be banned!! Jamming fingers down someone's throat is the same as CHOKING THEM!! Berserker is trying desperately to get to the ropes.... He's reaching........ I don't think he's gonna make it... Berserker drops down to one knee....
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony, just listen to the fans chanting Berserker's name!! "BERSERKER!! BERSERKER!! BERSERKER!!
TONY ROSS: It seems to be working Victor... he's STILL on one knee but now he.... OH! GOLEM JUST APPLIED EVEN MORE PRESSURE TO THE CLAW AND JUST LOOK AT THE BLOOD THAT BERSERKER IS SPITTING OUT!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Berserker just dropped to his hands and knees!! He's coughing up blood... BUT LOOK!! HE'S STILL TRYING TO GET TO THE ROPES!! HE'S CRAWLING TO THEM... HE'S LITERALLY DRAGGING GOLEM ALONG FOR THE RIDE!!
TONY ROSS: He's almost there.... almost... Berserker falls forward!!! And he lands on the ropes!!! HE DID IT!! Referee Bennett is on top of the action forcing Golem to break the hold!! GOLEM REFUSES!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: TONY LOOK!! REFEREE BENNETT LITERALLY PULLS GOLEM OFF OF BERSERKER!! It's a good thing Shades wasn't here to see that or else all we'd hear him whine about how a ref can't do that!!
TONY ROSS: This type of involvement is DEFINITELY warranted! If Bennett doesn't force that break... Berserker could get seriously injured... if he hasn't already!! Maybe if more refs got involved like that... less wrestlers would suffer career ending injuries!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: UH OH!! Golem just shoved referee Bennett!! AND LOOK!! BENNETT JUST SHOVED HIM BACK!!
TONY ROSS: Bennett is NOT the type of ref that intimidates! I think Golem or ANYONE else for that matter should think twice before challenging BENNETT'S authority... I mean just look at Bennett.... He is REALLY put together...... he looks just like a BODY BUILDER... and he has that NO NONSENSE attitude!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: I think Golem just realized that he can't intimidate Bennett as he just stares at Bennett!
TONY ROSS: Instead of playing macho games with the referee, he should concentrate on Berserker who is starting to show signs of life again....
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Berserker using the ropes to get to his feet.... Golem sees him... he rushes in... AND OH!! GOLEM JUST SLIPPED AND FELL ON SOMETHING?!? HE SLIPPED ON SOMETHING ON THE MAT!! HE SLIPPED ON SOME OF BERSERKER'S SPILT BLOOD!!
TONY ROSS: OH!! Golem hit his head HARD on the mat!! Berserker climbs to the top rope... ELBOW OFF THE TOP ROPE... FINDS ITS MARK!! Golem is reeling from the pain!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Berserker with the pin attempt..... 1.... 2.... KICK OUT BY GOLEM!!
TONY ROSS: Berserker never hooked the leg Victor... if he had he might of gotten the 3 count!! Golem rolls over on to his knees.... Berserker to his knees also.... and they're slugging it out now... ON THEIR KNEES!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: How much more can these guys take?!? TONY ROSS: That's a good question Victor.... neither of them have much left in them.... just look at them.... their punches have nothing behind them anymore!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Both of them are swaying back and forth on their knees.... they both fall forward!! They're just leaning on each other now!! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!! THEY'RE LITERALLY HOLDING EACH OTHER UP!!
TONY ROSS: Listen to the fans again as they try to urge Berserker on.... "BERSERKER.... BERSERKER.... BERSERKER"
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony.... they're starting to show signs of life again.... they're actually using each other to get to their feet!
TONY ROSS: THEY'RE UP!! AND JUST LISTEN TO THESE FANS AS THEY GO ABSOLUTELY BALLISTIC!!! Berserker with a right hand that rocks Golem!! AND ANOTHER RIGHT HAND!! Golem staggers backward!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Berserker going for the body slam.... SMALL PACKAGE BY GOLEM!!! 1.... 2.... 3!!! NO WAIT!! Berserker kicked out a split second before the 3 count!! Golem looks upset!! He's accusing Bennett of a slow count!!
TONY ROSS: Berserker takes advantage of this distraction and starts biting Golem on the forehead!! GOLEM RETREATS TRYING TO PULL BERSERKER OFF HIM!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: BERSERKER WON'T LET GO!! GOLEM CONTINUES TO RETREAT!! They're getting too close to the ropes Tony!! AND THEY BOTH FALL THROUGH THE ROPES!!
TONY ROSS: Golem FINALLY got Berserker to stop biting him but he had to take a spill over through the ropes to do so!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Golem is up first.... now HE'S BLEEDING ALSO TONY!! Berserker got BLOOD pay back for the CLAWHOLD earlier!!
TONY ROSS: Berserker to his feet... AND WHAT'S HE DOING?? HE RUNS UNDERNEATH THE RING APRON!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Golem doesn't know what to make of this.... He's just stands there with a confused look on his face! Tony, I don't think he wants to follow Berserker underneath the ring apron!!
TONY ROSS: I DON'T BLAME HIM!! WOULD YOU FOLLOW SOMEONE LIKE BERSERKER UNDER A RING APRON?!?
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Not in this life time!!
TONY ROSS: Well... it looks as if Golem has reconsidered! He lifts the ring apron curtain and peers in....
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony... the fans seem to be reacting to something on the other side of the ring..... TONY LOOK!! Coming out from the other side of the ring is Berserker Dave!!!
TONY ROSS: Golem isn't aware of this... he's still looking underneath the ring apron!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Berserker rushes around the ring.... he grabs a chair..... Golem is STILL bent over looking underneath the ring apron.... BERSERKER SWINGS THE CHAIR AND STRIKES GOLEM ON HIS REAR SENDING HIM HALFWAY UNDERNEATH THE RING APRON!!!
TONY ROSS: Berserker pulls Golem out from underneath the ring apron and rolls him back into the ring... Golem is dazed.... he doesn't know where he's at!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: I think he may have bumped his head on something underneath the ring when Berserker struck him with the chair.
TONY ROSS: Berserker grabs Golem... he's setting him up for something ... he scoops Golem up!! I think he's going for his finisher the Luantic Drop.... YES HE IS!! RUNNING POWERBOMB!! GOLEM IS OUT!!! BERSERKER DAVE PLACES HIS PALMS ON GOLEM'S CHEST AS HE PEERS AT THE FANS!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Bennett with the count... 1...... 2..... WHAT?? WHAT'S HE DOING??? BERSERKER DAVE JUST JUMPED TO HIS FEET BEFORE BENNETT COULD GET THE THREE COUNT DOWN!! NOW HE'S RUNNING AROUND ... IT LOOKS AS IF HE'S TRYING TO FIND A PLACE TO HIDE!!! HE'S COWERING BY ONE OF THE TURNBUCKLES!!
TONY ROSS: Victor I think he saw one of our cameramen approaching to get a close up of the pin and HE FREAKED OUT!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: The referee doesn't know what to make of this! Golem is out cold and Berserker is cowering in the corner! AND THERE'S THE BELL TONY!!! WHAT HAPPENED?? DID HE DISQUALIFY ONE OF THEM??? OR MAYBE BOTH OF THEM???
TONY ROSS: No.... Bennett is talking with the time keeper... I think the time limit may have been reached... Bennett nodding his head and he's signaling .... YES, THAT'S WHAT IT IS! THE TIME LIMIT HAS BEEN REACHED!! THIS MATCH WILL END IN A DRAW!!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: WOW WHAT A WAY TO END IT!! If Berserker hadn't been spooked by the cameraman, he would of captured the win.
TONY ROSS: And let's not forget about Golem... he had an opportunity to put Berserker away early but decided to punish him further with the CLAW!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: And look! Berserker looks around and runs through the thongs of fans..... And Golem is just now starting to get to his feet! I don't think either of them knows what the outcome was!
TONY ROSS: Well, I'm sure they'll find out soon enough as we prepare for our next match.
(Cameras pan toward the arena where a couple of Kemper Arena employees step into the ring to clean up the spilt blood......)
(As the Kemper Arena employees finish mopping up the spilt blood.... Paul Kramer enters the ring and reaches for the mike and once again begins his bark.......)
PAUL KRAMER: For our NEXT CONTEST!!! We have, standing at 6'-2", weighing 210 lbs., from parts unknown, he's NOSTRADAAAAAAAMUSSSSS!!
(CUE UP: "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails as a large figure emerges on the entrance way ramp.... his features are totally obscurred as he stands there wearing a large black hooded cloak. He receives a mixture of cheers and cat calls as he walks down the aisle toward the ring)
PAUL KRAMER: And his opponent, standing at 6'-3", weighing 242 lbs., he is the current WAR World Champion, hailing from Highland, Texas, he's MADONNA WAYNE GROOOOSAAAAARD!!!
(CUE UP: "Hooker With A P*NIS" by Tool. Stepping out onto the entrance way ramp is a man with blonde hair, apparently dyed as the dark roots would suggest, wearing a PINK MINI SKIRT, a black "Letourneau 4:69-I just F**ked your Kid" T-Shirt. He has poorly applied mascara and red lipstick on his face ..... as the cameras move in closer and focus in on him we can see that he is wearing two different colors of contact lenses... one pink and the other black. He receives mostly boos and just a few cheers as he parades flamboyantly down the aisle...)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony did you see the wild get up Grossard has on?? He definitely is one of the most FLAMBOYANT champions to ever grace this sport!! Who was it that he defeated for the War World Title anyway?
TONY ROSS: From what I hear.... he defeated MAELSTROM for the War World Title!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Well he doesn't have to worry about MAELSTROM following him here for retribution 'cause from what I understand, Maelstrom will be banned from competing in any FWF sanctioned events!
TONY ROSS: That's right Tony.... from what I recently learned, FWF Pres. Joe LeBron was and STILL is Maelstrom's business manager as well as friend and from what I understand, it was agreed upon by BOTH LeBron and Maelstrom himself that it would be UNETHICAL to offer him a contract!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: And that is one of the reasons why the FWF is going to be a MAJOR force in the Wrestling industry! They are going all out to ensure the INTEGRITY of the federation with selfless acts like that!
TONY ROSS: Well, I know at least ONE person who would disagree with you and he goes by the initials of JC!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Well you know Tony, there is NO love lost between JC and LeBron.... LeBron happens to manage the ONLY Pandorian ANYWHERE who is NOT a member of the INFAMOUS NEH run by JC of JC Unlimited.
TONY ROSS: That's right Victor... we'll have more on that if time allows, however, from what I see, Grossard and Nostradamus are just about ready to mix it up!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Nostradamus is just staring at Grossard as he wiggles out of his PINK SKIRT.... he doesn't seem to be at all amused though as he lets the long cloak fall from his body and simply stares at Grossard who is blowing kisses at him!
TONY ROSS: Nostradamus doesn't seem to be at all impressed by Grossard's WAR World Championship status either as he looks to be all business here tonight.
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Grossard... VERY animated now as he approaches Nostradamus in the center of the ring.... Grossard is jawing away now right in Nostradamus's face.... Nostradamus just glares at him... OH!! HE JUST SHOVED GROSSARD!!
TONY ROSS: Grossard swipes away at wear Nostradamus shoved him as if to wipe away the dirt from his touch.... and he gets RIGHT BACK into Nostradamus's face... Nostradamus once again goes for the shove but Grossard grabs one of his arms and twists it behind his back!! GROSSARD HAS NOSTRADAMUS IN A CHICKEN WING!! HE FORCES NOSTRADAMUS TO HIS KNEES!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Oh! And would you look at this Tony... he's slapping the back of Nostradamus's head and rubbing his face in the mat!! He's just thoroughly trying to humuliate Nostradamus!
TONY ROSS: Don't let his behavior fool you Victor.... Grossard is an ACOMPLISHED wrestler... and remember... you don't capture such a prestigious title as the WAR WORLD Championship by being lucky!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: I suppose you're right Tony but Grossard doesn't seem to be taking Nostradamus seriously here! Look!! He releases the chicken wing and steps back and WAITS for Nostradamus to get to his feet!!
TONY ROSS: Grossard is nobody's fool... he just doesn't think he's good, he BELIEVES he's good and that's why he is so successful... his confidence level is second to none!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Nostradamus up now..... he has a look of rage as he glares across the ring at Grossard who is smiling and blows another kiss in his direction.
TONY ROSS: Nostradamus charges at Grossard... GROSSARD WITH A DROP TOE HOLD INTO A FRONT FACE LOCK!! Grossard with a show of speed and wrestling technique as he is thoroughly outwrestling Nostradamus here!
TONY ROSS: AND LOOK!! Grossard releases the hold AGAIN!! He gets up and ALLOWS Nostradamus to get to his feet again!! His show of confidence is turning more and more into pure ARROGANCE!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Nostradamus slams his fist on the mat in anger and frustration!! He's losing it fast here early in the match!! He's got to try and keep his composure otherwise he can kiss this match good bye!!
TONY ROSS: And would you look at Grossard.... he's taunting Nostradamus now by winking at him!! He's literally DISRESPECTING Nostradamus now and just look at the rage welling up in Nostradamus's eyes!!!
TONY ROSS: Nostradamus waiting on Grossard this time.... and GROSSARD SPEARS HIM DOWN!!! OH and look at this... Grossard gets up and turns his back on him....
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Nostradamus jumps to his feet!! He's ENRAGED!!! He charges at Grossard who has his back to him......
TONY ROSS: Nostradamus is almost on top of him..... Grossard turns at the last minute... he drops at the last possible second... TESTICULAR CLAW!! NOSTRADAMUS YELLS OUT IN AGONY!!!
VICTORY ALVAREZ: And look at the arrogance of Grossard... he's sitting on the mat one hand applying the testicular claw and the other hand covering his mouth as he yawns!! What ARROGANCE!!
TONY ROSS: The referee is counting... and Grossard attempting to distract the referee by engaging in idle conversation with him... meanwhile... Nostradamus is writhing in pain as he drops to his knees!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Bennett won't have any of it however as he continues to count and FINALLY Grossard lets go as Nostradamus drops to the mat in obvious agony!!
TONY ROSS: Grossard is feigning an apologetic attitude to the referee now... Grossard is making a mockery of this match!! LOOK AT HIM!! He just jumped on top of the turnbuckle and extends and crosses his legs across the top rope....
VICTOR ALVAREZ: He's waiting for Nostradamus again!!! I don't believe the gall of this guy!!!
TONY ROSS: Well believe it or not ..... this guy is FOR REAL!! It's NO WONDER he's the WAR WORLD CHAMPION, which is considered by many to be one the MOST PRESTIGIOUS titles out of ALL the Wrestling Federations!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Nostradamus is slow to get to his feet... and look at Grossard... he just lays lounging on the top turnbuckle blowing on and admiring his nails!!!
TONY ROSS: Nostradamus is yelling at Grossard now... he's daring him to meet him in the middle of the ring!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Grossard looks at Nostradamus and he looks around, then points at his chest as if to ask "are you referring to me?"! Grossard sighs heavily and jumps down off the turnbuckle!
TONY ROSS: He walks right up to Nostradamus and LOOK!! I can't believe this!! He's sticking out his chin and DARING Nostradamus to hit him!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: It looks like more mind games from Grossard!! Nostradamus won't have any of it however... he swings and OH!!! WHAT A SHOT BY NOSTRADAMUS!!! But all it did was back up Grossard!!!
TONY ROSS: AND LOOK!! GROSSARD HOLDS HIS CHIN AND LOOKS AT NOSTRADAMUS AS IF TO SAY ... "IS THAT ALL YOU'VE GOT?" HE WALKS RIGHT BACK TO NOSTRADAMUS AND OFFERS HIM ANOTHER SHOT!
TONY ROSS: AND NOSTRADAMUS STRIKES HIM AGAIN WITH ANOTHER RIGHT HOOK.... GROSSARD STAGGERS BACKWARD.... NOSTRADAMUS WITH A LEFT HOOK NOW... AND A RIGHT HOOK!!! BUT GROSSARD IS STILL UP ON HIS FEET!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: NOSTRADAMUS WITH ANOTHER LEFT HOOK!!! GROSSARD DUCKS!! HE SPINS NOSTRADAMUS AROUND.... ATOMIC DROP BY GROSSARD!!!
TONY ROSS: GROSSARD ON THE OFFENSIVE NOW!!... NECKBRECKER!!! NOSTRADAMUS IS FLOUNDERING ON THE MAT YELLING IN PAIN!!! GROSSARD PULLS NOSTRADAMUS UP.... HE SITS NOSTRADAMUS UP ON THE TURNBUCKLE!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: GROSSARD IS CLIMBING UP ALSO!! OH MY GOD!!! HE'S STANDING ON THE TOP ROPE... HE HAS NOSTRADAMUS HOOKED FOR A DOUBLE ARM DDT!!! AND HE LEAPS OFF THE TOP ROPE WITH NOSTRADAMUS!!! OH MY GOD!!! HE HIT A DOUBLE ARM DDT OFF THE TOP ROPE!!! NOSTRADAMUS ISN'T MOVING!!!
TONY ROSS: Grossard lays down on his back across the chest of Nostradamus with his legs crossed and his hands folded behind his head..... 1.... 2.... 3!!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: THIS MATCH IS OVER!! Grossard has mercifully ended the match!! Oh my... look at him!! Now he gets up and starts to gyrate his groin over the unconscious Nostradamus!! He has made a mockery of this match since it started!!
TONY ROSS: That is an understatement Victor!! Oh now c'mon, there's NO need for this!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: OH NO!! DON'T DO THAT!! He just went into his trunks and pulled out some lipstick.... and he's .... he's .... HE'S PUTTING LIPSTICK ON NOSTRADAMUS!!! IT ISN'T ENOUGH THAT HE THOROUGHLY BEAT THE MAN... BUT NOW HE HAS TO HUMILIATE HIM FURTHER!!
TONY ROSS: OH THIS IS DISPICABLE!!! THERE'S NO NEED FOR THAT!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: NOW HE STANDS RIGHT OVER HIS FACE AND STARTS GYRATING AGAIN!!!
TONY ROSS: THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS!! I've heard stories about this guy's antics but I always thought they were somewhat exaggerated!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: OH!! LOOK!! NOW HE'S BLOWING KISSES AT HIM!! THIS GUY HAS LOST IT!!
TONY ROSS: I think he lost it a long time ago Victor... from what I understand he had somewhat of a checkered past before he was recruited by the WAR promotion!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Well it looks as if some of his past has come back to haunt us Tony!!
TONY ROSS: WAIT!! There seems to be some sort of commotion coming from the direction of the dressing rooms Victor...
VICTOR ALVAREZ: You're right Tony.... OH MY GOD!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!! LOOK WHO'S COMING DOWN THE AISLE!!
TONY ROSS: THAT LOOKS LIKE.... YES IT IS!! THAT'S THE WAR ASIAN CHAMPION SKY!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: OH MY GOD!! WHAT'S HE DOING HERE!?!
TONY ROSS: I don't know but it looks as if we're gonna find out VERY soon!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Grossard is still gyrating over the unconscious Nostradamus..... he doesn't see Sky as he enters the ring.....
TONY ROSS: Grossard stops gyrating!! He looks as if he senses there's something wrong.... he slowly turns...
VICTOR ALVAREZ: REVERSE SPINDLE KICK BY SKY!! GROSSARD FLIES CLEAR ACROSS THE RING!!! GROSSARD DOESN'T KNOW WHAT JUST HAPPENED AND IT LOOKS AS IF HE DOESN'T WANT TO KNOW AS HE ROLLS OUT OF THE RING AND HEADS BACK TO THE DRESSING ROOM!!
TONY ROSS: And look at the fans... they're giving SKY a STANDING OVATION!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Is this YET ANOTHER SUPERSTAR that the FWF has acquired??
TONY ROSS: Well it most certainly seems so... so far we've had ADAM GREENE, then JEAN RABESQUE and now SKY make an impromptu appearance!! Just more proof that the FWF is T-H-E PLACE TO BE!!! Fans we're going to go to a commercial break and then we'll be right back with our MAIN EVENT of the evening!!!
(Cameras fade out on Sky as he exits the ring amongst a standing ovation!!! Screen then fades out as a promo for IBM THINK PADS airs..... )
(Our cameras pan across the multitudes of fans as they roar in anticipation of the upcoming main event! It then pans back to the commentating booth where Tony Ross and Victor Alvarez begin to speak.....)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony it seems we have some sort of news as to the source of those PIRATED TRANSMISSIONS! One the FWF technicians managed to trace the last TRANSMISSION to a black van that was parked out in the Kemper Arena parking lot! Unfortunately, as FWF Security moved in the van sped off and escaped.
TONY ROSS: Oh man! So they got a clean get away and we STILL don't know WHO was behind it!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Well, not exactly.... the van had a HUGE logo on the side of it..... 'JC Unlimited'.....
TONY ROSS: OH?!?! Could that be the same JC that is VP for the Millenium Wrestling Federation??
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony that hasn't been confirmed as of yet, but I understand that FWF Pres. Joe LeBron and FWF VP Eddie McCann are conferencing with MWF Pres. Michael Motta as we speak to try and get to the bottom of this!
TONY ROSS: Have they learned anything yet?
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Sorry Tony... that's all my sources can tell me at this time.... it's a closed door meeting.
TONY ROSS: Well at least we're getting closer to solving the mystery as to WHO is responsible for these PIRATED TRANSMISSIONS.
VICTOR ALVAREZ: That's true Tony.... By the way.... what's the latest word on Jake Shades?
TONY ROSS: Well from what I understand he is going through the system at Central Booking and will likely have to spend the night in jail until he see's a Judge tomorrow morning.
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Wow! So do you think he did it?
TONY ROSS: Well, I'd like to think not, but with Shades you can never tell when he's lying or not.... We won't know for sure until Helix testifies tomorrow in court! Well, now that we're up to date on the FWF current events.... let's get ready for the MAIN EVENT.... Take it away PAUL!!
(Cameras pan across the screaming fans once again until it finally focuses on the middle of the ring where Paul Kramer raises the mike to his lips and begins his bark......)
PAUL KRAMER: LAAAAAADIIIIIIEEEEEESS and GEEEEENTLEEEEMEEEN! Are you READY for the MAIN EVENT of the EVENING?!! (points mike at the fans who respond excitedly) I said... are you R-E-A-D-YYYYY for the M-A-I-N E-V-EEEEEENT?!?! (points the mike once again toward the fans who respond even louder than before!) Ladies and Gentlemen.... GET READY TO INVADE THE FRONTIER!!! First, we have one of the most PHYSICALLY IMPOSING men to ever grace the squared circle!!! He stands at an awe inspiring 7'-1", he weighs 365 lbs., he is a former NAWF Extreme Title champion.........
PAUL KRAMER: He hails from Brooklyn, New York! He's "TRIPLE 6 PSYCHO" REIGN CHANCELLOOOOOOR!!
(CUE UP: "Necrophobic" by Slayer as a HUGE figure steps out on to the entrance way ramp! He stands there momentarily in his cut-off blue shorts and T-shirt... his long shoulder length black hair suggests a wildness about this man while his black goatee hints at the evil that lurks within him! He is CLEARLY NOT the fan favorite as the fans boo and toss garbage in his direction as he strides toward the ring!)
PAUL KRAMER: And his opponent! He has taken the wrestling world by STORM with his INNOVATIVE style and skill, he stands at 6'-5", he weighs 255 lbs., he hails from Los Angeles, California! He's......... POP CULTUUUUURE SUUUUUPEEEERHEROOOOO!!
(CUE UP: "Sell Out" by Reel Big Fish. Emerging on to the entrance way ramp, to the ear-shattering cheers of the fans, is Pop Culture Superhero! He has a big smile on his face as he raises his Ray Bans off his face and lays it to rest within the locks of his red hair as he acknowledges the fan's cheers! He slowly makes his way to the ring.... slapping hands along the way.....)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony .... would you look at the SIZE of Chancellor!!? He's a MONSTER!! He outweighs Pop Culture by 100 POUNDS and is almost a FOOT taller than him! Do you think this young kid, Pop Culture, has ANY chance at all against this behemoth??
TONY ROSS: Well, Pop Culture has certainly gathered a STRONG following here in the FWF.... and these fans, I consider to be among the MOST educated, wrestling wise that is, in the WORLD, and I don't think they're behind him just because of his clean cut good looks! This kid is the REAL DEAL Victor!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Well he certainly has captured the hearts and souls of fans world wide and various corporations have even taken notice and capitalized on his popularity!
TONY ROSS: That's right Victor.... corporations all over the world have recognized the potential in this kid and have signed him to product endorsement contracts!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Well tonight, those endorsements won't mean a thing against Reign Chancellor... Pop Culture had better get busy endorsing HIMSELF tonight as he faces LITERALLY the BIGGEST challenge of his career to date!!
TONY ROSS: Well he certainly looks up to the challenge tonight as Chancellor charges in and he EASILY ducks underneath and DROP KICKS Chancellor in the back!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony! DID YOU SEE THAT!?! HE DIDN'T EVEN BUDGE CHANCELLOR!!
TONY ROSS: Chancellor is a LOT of beef for Pop Culture to try to push around! Pop Culture doesn't quite believe it himself as he just stares at Chancellor and shakes his head!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Chancellor rushes in again!!! TONY ROSS: Pop Culture rolls underneath Chancellor's grasp and runs Chancellor into the turnbuckle!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: That had NO EFFECT!! Chancellor slowly turns and just stares at Pop Culture!!
TONY ROSS: Pop Culture is having some problems here.... but it doesn't look as if its phasing him.... they meet in the middle of the ring... Pop Culture slips in behind Chancellor and tries for a back suplex!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: NOTHING DOING!! Pop Culture just wrapped his arms around the waist of the "IMMOVABLE OBJECT"!! Chancellor grabs Pop Culture by the wrists and BREAKS THE HOLD!! AND OH!!! He just slammed his REAR into Pop Culture!! He just sent Culture flying clear across the ring!!
TONY ROSS: Chancellor isn't wasting any time though... he rushes to Pop Culture.... he pulls him to his feet and sends him flying into the ropes.... ELBOW SMASH SENDS POP CULTURE CRASHING TO THE MAT!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: OH MY GOD!! HE ALMOST TOOK HIS HEAD OFF!!
TONY ROSS: Chancellor pulls Pop Culture to his feet.... SPINNING HEEL KICK!!! POP CULTURE DUCKS AND DIVES INTO CHANCELLOR'S OTHER LEG.... CHANCELLOR IS DOWN!! Pop Culture quickly drops an elbow to Chancellor's knee!! And again... AND AGAIN!! Pop Culture with his foot on Chancellor's knee... and he yanks Chancellor's leg!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: CHANCELLOR YELLS OUT IN PAIN!! Tony.... the human knee isn't designed to bend in that direction!! If Chancellor doesn't escape this hold he may suffer some serious ligament or cartilidge damage to his knee!!
TONY ROSS: Pop Culture yanks again!!! He has the right idea! He has to keep the big man off his feet if he wants any chance at victory here tonight!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony, there seems to be some commotion going on in the crowd... someone is making their way down... it's .... it's HELIX!!! Helix has just made his way down and taken a seat right in the front row!! What could his interests be in this match??
TONY ROSS: I don't know Victor, but I'm sure we'll find out soon enough!! Meanwhile, Chancellor is starting to drag himself to the ropes!! Pop Culture is doing all he can to try and prevent him from reaching the ropes but he just can't match Chancellor's strength.....
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Chancellor reaches the ropes and Bennett quickly steps in to force Culture to break the hold.... Culture complies but not before he drops ANOTHER elbow to the knee!!!
TONY ROSS: Chancellor howls in pain and uses the ropes to struggle back up to his feet .... WHAT'S THIS?? Someone is coming down the aisle.... why that's "Tuesday Night" Joe Van Dame!! He has a mike in his hand.... and he's calling out Pop Culture!!
VAN DAME: "Pop Culture" STUPID HERO, you KNOW as well as I do that you got LUCKY against Ferrit Fanatic at the Kiel Center a few weeks back!!! You want to prove that you're REALLY SOMETHING?? Prove to ME that you have the guts to step into the ring with a REAL MAN...... step into the ring with ME, Mr. Tuesday Night Joe Van Dame, because I'm the WHOLE F'N SHOW!!
TONY ROSS: Pop Culture runs to the ropes and is pointing and yelling at Van Dame!! He's arguing with him!! He better pay less attention to Van Dame and concentrate more on Chancellor!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: TOO LATE TONY!! Chancellor limps over to where Culture is and ... OH!! HE JUST SWEEPS CULTURE'S LEGS IN HIS ARMS AND FLINGS HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE!!
TONY ROSS: CULTURE DOES A SOMERSAULT AND LANDS FLAT ON HIS BACK!!! And Chancellor drops to the floor outside.... and he's glaring at Van Dame!! Van Dame puts his hands up as if to explain.... Now he's talking to Chancellor and pointing at Culture!! AND LOOK!! Chancellor turns and lifts Culture to his feet!! He's holding him for Van Dame!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: And Van Dame is measuring him.... OH!!! HE JUST HIT CULTURE WITH THE VAN DAMEINATOR!!! Culture is out!! He's just laying there!
TONY ROSS: And the fans are starting to react to some... YES!! HELIX HAS SEEN ENOUGH!!! He grabs a chair and rushes forward... Chancellor turns just as Helix gets to him and .... OHHH!! HELIX JUST BROKE THAT WOODEN CHAIR OVER CHANCELLOR'S HEAD!!! Chancellor falls backward onto the floor!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: And now he turns toward Van Dame!! Van Dame and Helix are going at it now!!
TONY ROSS: And it looks as if Culture is starting to come around... Yes! He gets to his feet!! And staggers over to Chancellor who is STILL laying on the floor!! He picks him up and rolls him back into the ring!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Chancellor is struggling to his feet now.... SUPERKICK BY POP CULTURE!!! CHANCELLOR STRUGGLES TO MAINTAIN HIS BALANCE!! CHANCELLOR IS STILL ON HIS FEET!!
TONY ROSS: ANOTHER SUPERKICK BY CULTURE SENDS THE BIG MAN CRASHING TO THE MAT!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony LOOK!! HELIX AND VAN DAME HAVE TAKEN THE BATTLE RIGHT UP ON THE RING APRON!!
TONY ROSS: BENNETT MOVES TOWARD THEM TO GET THEM OFF THE RING APRON! OH MY!! HE JUST GOT NAILED WITH A STRAY PUNCH!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: BENNETT IS DOWN AND HELIX AND VAN DAME CONTINUE TO TRADE BLOWS!! AND POP CULTURE HAS REIGN CHANCELLOR PINNED!!! BUT THERE'S NO ONE THERE TO COUNT!!
TONY ROSS: There's some action happening on the other side of the ring Victor... someone else is running down the aisle!!
VICTOR ROSS: THAT LOOK'S LIKE.... IT IS!!! IT'S..... VICTOR ALVAREZ: IT'S THE "BOY TOY" BEAU MICHAELS!! AND HE'S CARRYING A SMALL PAPER BAG!!
TONY ROSS: Pop Culture sees him and goes to the ropes and .... and he seems to be yelling at him!! Michaels steps closer and they're arguing now!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: And meanwhile Referee Bennett is starting to come around as Helix and Van Dame continue to battle on the ring apron!! And look out...Chancellor is starting to come to... Culture better turn around or he'll be in for a rude awakening!!
TONY ROSS: Pop Culture leans forward to try and grab at Michaels!! He misses and OH!!! MICHAELS JUST CLOCKED HIM WITH THE CONTENTS OF THAT BAG AND WALKS AWAY LAUGHING!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: OH GROSS!! LOOK AT THAT MESS!!! IT'S SOME SORT OF WHITE SOUPY CREAM!! POP CULTURE IS BLINDED!! HE CAN'T SEE WHERE HE'S GOING!! HE SLIPS ON SOME OF THAT CREAMY GOOK AND OH!!!! HE LANDED HEAD FIRST ONTO CHANCELLOR'S CROTCH!!!
TONY ROSS: I think Chancellor just passed out!! He's NOT MOVING!! And Pop Culture is barely moving himself as he rolls over face down on the mat!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony LOOK! BENNETT IS UP ON HIS FEET!! AND HE LOOKS MAD!!! HE GRABS HELIX AND VAN DAME BY THE HEAD AND CRACKS THEIR SKULLS TOGETHER!!! THEY BOTH FALL OFF THE RING APRON AND LOOK!! THEY GET BACK AND CONTINUE TO FIGHT WITH EACH OTHER ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE DRESSING ROOMS!!
TONY ROSS: Referee Bennett turns and sees both men down.... he starts his ten count..... 1... 2.... 3.... 4.....
VICTOR ALVAREZ: TONY LOOK!! Pop Culture is starting to stir.... he tries to get up .... he's to his knees... AND HE FALLS BACK DOWN!!!
TONY ROSS: HE FELL FACE FIRST TO THE MAT BUT ONE OF HIS ARMS IS ACROSS CHANCELLOR'S CHEST!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: 1.... 2... CHANCELLOR GETS A SHOULDER UP!!! UNBELIEVABLE!! Chancellor is starting to get up now... he is still VERY dazed as he gets to his feet and almost falls back down again.....
TONY ROSS: Now Pop Culture struggles to his feet.... they are BOTH RUNNING ON EMPTY!! Chancellor moves in now....
VICTOR ALVAREZ: And Culture is hitting him with a series of rights and lefts!!
TONY ROSS: It only manages to slow the big man down a little though as he continues to lumber forward!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Chancellor with a clubbing forearm sends Pop Culture down to a knee!! Another clubbing forearm sends Culture down to BOTH knees now!!
TONY ROSS: UH OH!! I think I know what's coming next....
VICTOR ALVAREZ: He pulls Culture up to his feet.... he has him hooked.... OH MY!! HE'S GOING FOR A JACKNIFE POWERBOMB!!
TONY ROSS: NO!!! CULTURE SLIPS BEHIND HIM AND ... OH!! HE'S GOT THE PEPSI DIFFERENCE LOCKED ON!!! CHANCELLOR REFUSES TO SUBMIT....
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Bennett asking again and Chancellor STILL refuses!! But look ... Chancellor is starting to fade... Chancellor drops to the mat!! Referee Bennett checks on Chancellor.... and Bennett jumps to his feet and is calling for the BELL!!! CHANCELLOR HAS PASSED OUT!!! CULTURE RELEASES THE HOLD AND STUMBLES TO THE ROPES!!! INCREDIBLE VICTORY BY POP CULTURE SUPERHERO AS HE DEFIED THE ODDS HERE TONIGHT!!!
TONY ROSS: This has DEFINITELY got to be a MILESTONE in Pop Culture's CAREER!!! A VERY impressive win here tonight over the AWESOME power of Reign Chancellor!!! Fans, that's all the action for tonight... Don't miss the FWF's next MEGA CARD that will air shortly on ESPN-2 from the Civic Auditorium in Omaha, Nebraska! On behalf of Victor Alvarez myself and the understandibly absent Jake Shades... GOODNIGHT FOR NOW......
(Cameras begin to fade out on the Kemper Arena as the fans' thunderous roars drown out all else.... FADE OUT on 'STILL' shots of some of the evenings' highlights!! FADE OUT on the FWF LOGO.... FADE OUT as the credits roll....)
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