(An aerial view slowly comes down to earth, slowly it zooms
and focuses in on a backyard. Several kids are play
wrestling. One of the kids is about to announce the match.)
AM:(Alan-Michael) Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure
to announce the next match. Over there we have Jay! A real
tough guy! And over there we have Justin! A real strong
dude! And they are going to fight now, ding, ding. (Both
Jay and Justin begin to grapple, AM is almost knocked down)
(A little girl with a toy mike is playing commentator)
SC: (Sydney Carmelo) MOVE Alan-Michael!
AM: SHUT UP STUPID!
SC: NO! You STUPID!
AM: Better shut up, or I'll beat you up!
SC: Oh yeah? I'll beat you up! Now MOVE! Jay is hitting
Justin in the head, and Justin goes "ARGH" Jay laughs and
Justin kicks him in his leg, Jay goes ow and hops, Slam him
Justin!
AM: You can't do that Sydney!
SC: Shut up, I do what I want! Beat him up Justin! Grab his
hair, flip him! (Justin complies) Count Alan-Michael!
AM: NO! I don't have to!
SC: Oh yes you do!
(She drops the mike and begins to count, Alan-Michael grabs
at her, they begin to fight, SC and Justin team up
together, Jay and AM do the same. We hear laughter as they
playfully wrestle. The scene slowly zooms out and zooms in
inside the house where on a 72 inch monitor, the FWF logo
is shown on the giant screen. It fades into a series of
promos and interviews as stars like Matthews, PCS, Jean
Rabesque, Beau Michaels, Henry Goldwire and all other
participants are shown. It suddenly fades into cuts in
which the NEH is shown beating up on Nevada Smith and Jean
Rabesque after their gruelling match against PCS and Beau
Michaels. It then fades into the Tag Team champs, the Birds
of Prey, fading off into thier opponents, the Mercenaries.
PCS is the next to be faded in, Jean Rabesque is shown also
as a mixture of their interviews and promos are seen. We
then begin to see a countdown to FWF's PPV DIVIDE and
CONQUER. We hear loud talking, in the background we can
still hear the kids play wrestling. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4,
3, 2, 1.... We see an aerial view of the Louisiana
Superdome in New Orleans)
(The countdown finishes and the scene becomes live as we
hear the FWF theme music, the logo appears on the screen
and zooming in we see Jake Shades, Tony Ross and Victor
Alvarez. We then fade to a skybox where Lord Dread, Scott
Malec and Joe Lebron are about to enjoy the evening's
event. The FWF logo becomes superimposed on the giant
screen, from its center comes hurling a golden belt, lasers
begin to dance on its golden plates, "FWF CABLE TV CHAMPION"
becomes embossed on top of the FWF logo. Fans yelling at
the top of their lungs as the last of the midcard events
finishes, they wait in anticipation of the FWF's DIVIDE AND
CONQUER!)
(ZOOM IN: The cameras scan the the arena, placards are held
everywhere, PCS is the MAN, JEAN is my HERO, Will you marry
me BEAU. NEVADA, the new F'N OMEGA! MATTHEWS, the NEW
BREED! Welcome back BIG RODGE! Back from the grave, MINION!
The NEW XTREME=WAYNE ROBERTS! NOBLE is to be KALE! CASA NEH
in your FACE! A spotlight focuses in on Lord Dread as he is
escorted down to ringside where he shakes hands with the
officials and waves to the cheering fans who fall into a
frenzied chant of, FWF! FWF! FWF! He motions for their
attention.)
LD: Good evening to one and all! Tonight's events will
surely go down in the annuals of wrestling history as many
of the top competitors go toe to toe in a marathon battle
for the gold, the FWF CABLE TV GOLD! They will be put to
the test, as they battle and jockey their way to the
finals! In my hands I have an envelope, the results of a
bye, upon confering and much discussion, it has been agreed
and voted on that NOBLE KALE will GET the bye! But do not
kid yourself fans, this is ANYONE'S title! We truly hope
you enjoy tonights events which I am sure you will, as PCS
puts his title up as he goes against the FWF FRONTIER
champion, JEAN RABESQUE! The Mercenaries will take on the
FWF TAG TEAM champions, the Birds of Prey! It is now my
pleasure to announce this evening's announcer, PAUL KRAMER!
(Hands PK the mic and leaves the ring, walks back toward
the FWF skybox. Cameras focus in on the announcers table
where Jake Shades, Tony Ross and Victor Alvarez are deep in
conversation. Shades pokes Tony as they look into the
cameras.)
TR: Welcome FWF fans to what appears to be a POWDER KEG
going to explode here tonight as we will crown the very
first FWF Cable TV Champion. These last few weeks have
certainly been intense for many of tonight's contenders, it
all comes to who will have the fortitude and resilence to
become the first ever FWF Cable TV Champion.
JS: When you say fortitude, do you mean testicular
fortitude?
VA: And what do you know about that sackless?
TR: Let's go to ringside as Paul Kramer is about to
announce our first match.
JS: Yeah and the beginning of the end for many.
PK:Laaaaddddiiiieeessss and geeeennntttlemmmmeeeennnn,fans
of all ages! In tonight's first match, ("Mary Jane'slast
dance" blares as the spotlight catches a glimpse ofHenry
Goldwire coming into the ring) From Phoenix AZ 6'7and
283lbs HEEENNNRRYYY GOOOOOLDWIIIIIRE! (Mixed reactionsare
heard, Goldwire goes to the corner. "I'm TOO sexy"commences
to drown all sounds, swirling colorfulfloodlights focus in
on a dancing and prancing Michaels)Weighing in at a "sexy"
231lbs at 6' tall from Scaramento CA,
The "BOY TOY", BEEEEEAUUUU MIIIICHAEEEELSSSSS!
JS: Michaels knows how to party down, PARTY DOWN DUDE! LOOK
OUT!
VA: He danced too close to Goldwire and gets clobbered for
it, he rolls out, breaking Goldwire's momentum. The ref
pushing Goldwire away giving Michaels time to recuperate.
JS: That boy does have resilency! He jumps over the ropes
and lands a dropkick on Goldwire, attempts to pin Goldwire,
1, 2! Goldwire hurls him over the ref!
TR: He doesn't lose a beat as he goes after Goldwire, a
full nelson!
JS: Turn him into a goldwire frame of your favorite
celebrity Michaels! That's it, drill him!
VA: Didn't know you went there Jake! What role do you play?
JS: Why don't you ask your momma! She'll give you tunnel
vision!
TR: Now, now guys! Let's earn our money tonight, the way
things have been going on around here, we need to stay on
top of, OH! TREMENDOUS BELLY to BELLY SUPLEX! Out of
nowhere!
JS: HEY ref, WAKE UP! Why is he holding up his fist?
VA: Maybe he doesn't want his fingers sucked!
JS: And WHAT the hell is that suppose to mean?
VA: Michaels trying to shake it off, Goldwire seems
determined to show everyone that this is indeed a changed
and different man.
JS: Your kind of man, eh Vic? (Winks mockingly) Good move
though, but Michaels still in this one as he goes down
under and has Goldwire singing in SHARP E! Music to my ears!
VA: You really ar....... (Jake interupts as Michaels takes
Goldwire down with a swinging neckbreaker!
TR: Goldwire doesn't seem to be fazed by it! He tackles
Micheals down to the mat and is pounding away at Michaels!
Michaels starts to throw a few of his own!
JS: WHAT you mean a few? He's moving SO FAST, it seems like
a few!
VA:(Bursts out laughing) Oh brother! Is your vision still
blurred from drinking that SPECIAL water of yours?
JS: MAN! I gonna BUST you..... (TR explodes with a loud
"WOW")
TR: You two are missing a tremendous match here, Michaels
has been FORCED to change his strategy here, Goldwire has
continuously countered or has shaken off most of
Michaelsmoves!
VA: This is anyone's match, it has turned into a fast paced
battle for control with Goldwire slightly ahead!
JS: Michaels is just leading him into a dark alley! Watch
and learn pissants! Watch a true master at work! THERE IT
IS! He grabs Goldwire up and with a running powerslam,
prepares for his finisher, Girate away Michaels you've
earned it! What the?
(For a split second, the Superdome's lights dim....)
(As the lights come back on, we see "The Choice" Jeremy
Bryne attacking Goldwire)
VA: That's "The Choice" JEREMY BRYNE! He just ATTACKED
Goldwire! Goldwire didn't even see it coming, he had
shakened off the running powerbomb, using the rope, before
reaching the top rope, the lights dim and upon coming back,
we see Bryne attacking Goldwire!
VA: Yeah, and the ref saw EVERYTHING, he's calling for the
bell! He's speaking to Paul!
PK: Due to outside interference, referee Stu Fields has
DISQUALIFIED, the "Toy Boy" Beau Michaels! He is awarding
the match andthe win to HENRY GOLDWIRE!
(Without skipping a beat, Jeremy Bryne attacks Michaels
Goldwire just glares, he then walks away, not taking his
eyes off Bryne. Bryne continues to beat on Michaels.
Security is called, cameras go a FWF promo.)
WINNER: HENRY GOLDWIRE
(Screen fades into a collage of FWF past events,
highlighting those who have made it to here. Cuts of Golem
and then Big Rodge of NEH/UA fame along with the beautiful
but lethal Lady Veronica. Fade to announcer's table)
TR: That first match was difinitely intense, we need to
find out what's up with Jeremy Bryne, and..... (Shades
laughs)
JS: DAMN STRAIGHT BRO!
("God bless the bums" by Comeshot blares, the spotlight
focuses in on Golem as he walks down to ringside. Announcer
is about to introduce Golem when Metallica's "Holier than
thou" engulfs the SuperDome, the lights dim, a voice is
heard saying)
VO: "Out of the smothering ashes, arose the Phoenix,
flaming the flames once again, he gave life to death and
death to life...... BEHOLD and BEWARE, RUN but don't hide,
they'll find you, HE'LL find you, he's BIIIIIGGGGG
ROOOODGGGGEEEEEE, and the BEAAAAUUUUUUTTIIIFFUUUULLLLL
LADY VEROOOOOONNNNICCCCAAAAAA!" The spotlight focuses on
the jumbotron the NEH emblem is shown, another spotlight
focuses on Big Rodge and Lady V.
JS: Momma MIIIIIAAAAA! Lady V, is like a bottle of the
finest wine in the land, the older she gets, the better she
is!
VA: Have a hardon for her huh? If that's the case, then why
are you still looking at Rodge rearside?
JS: I was looking for a deep hole to toss you in, OKAY?
TR: Golem appears furious as his intro was interupted by
Big Rodge's. He just glares at Big Rodge, Lady V glares
back at him as Rodge continues to ignore the fact that
Golem is a dangerous individual.
VA: I don't know if you guys have noticed, Big Rodge's
intro theme is still playing and look at the jumbotrons,
they are showing Big Rodge and the NEH/UA, both past and
present.
JS: Now THAT'S history! I don't see the FWF really being
able to stop the NEH, JC has once again came out ahead, and
I have yet to see any of these so called superstars putting
up any kind of front against them. Except for my man PCS,
he took it to Jean and Nevada!
VA: What are you talking about? Neither Jean or Nevada are
NEH in fact Nevada seems to hate the NEH, especially JC!
JS: You sure is IGNORRANT! I guess we all can't be Jake
Shades, now can't we?
VA: You're right, you're one of a kind.
TR: Rodge slowly walks up to Golem, a staredown commences!
JS: BIG RODGE, my MAN! Master of those mindgames, a brute
of a man!
VA: I'm beginning to wonder about you Shades, I haven't
seen you with a woman in God knows how long? Let's......
That caught Golem TOTALLY unawares, Big Rodge just
grabbeGolem's face in one hand and SLAMMED him into the
turn buckle! Golem groggy, WHAT THE? Lady V distracting the
ref, but look at this!
JS:Big Rodge is the master of those mindgames!
JS: That Lady V, is truly a LADYYYYY!
VA: How would you know what a true lady is?
JS: Well, I was smart enough to know that your MOMMA wasn't
one!
TR: Golem shaking off the cobwebs, sees Big Rodge parading
around the ring, he goes after him, Lady V seems to be
communicating with Big Rodge.
JS: I told you, they have that packed down to a science!
Good old Rodge!
VA: That is true, he and Lady V are mat veterans!
JS: Not only are they ring veterans, they are my pals!
TR: Golem about to ram Rodge, and Big Rodge moves out of
the way, he brings the top rope down and Golem goes
tumbling over, bad place to be, next to Lady V!
VA: Big Rodge is laughing, he points to Golem and them
points to his head, making gestures that Golem lacks it in
the brain dept.
JS: And he DOES! The big man Rodge is playing him like a
finely tuned instrument!
TR: Stu watching Lady V, who just stands there as Golem
comes back into the ring, again Rodge has his back to him!
VA: He's standing on the middle rope! Golem has had enough
he tears out towards Rodge, but just as he is about to make
contact, Lady V yells out!
JS: And Rodge CONNECTS with a..... What the hell was that
anyway? From the middle rope, he was able to kick Golem in
the chest! Look he's not even going for the cover!
VA: Bad mistake! Golem is not the type to make the same
mistake twice!
JS: Yeah that's right! He CONTINUOUSLY makes the same ONE
OVER and OVER!
TR: I have to agree with Vic! After a long absence Big
Rodge can be rusty you know!
JS: THERE! You proven my point of how MORONIC, you two
really are! Had you any brains, you would have known that
Big Rodge was active in New Japan, the NEH's cradle! And
over there, it is all INTENSE! He's their champion over
there!
VA: Well excuse me for not keeping up with current events!
TR: Golem swings Big Rodge around, and CLOCKS him! But LOOK
at THIS, Big Rodge is just standing there laughing, he
says something to Lady V and they both laugh!
JS: Good old Rodge!
TR: Golem STRIKES Big Rodge in the back of the neck, Big
Rodge feeling that one, he rubs his neck, and GLARES at
Golem who motions for him. Rodge smirks and slowly walks
over to Golem, nose to nose. Golem going to, NO! Rodge
counters and blocks Golem's attempt at the claw, and
POWERSLAMS him to the mat, he's putting the boot to Golem!
Scoops him up, and GET THIS! Rodge's actually carrying this
238 pounder and climbing the ropes with him, Golem tries to
punch Rodge, but Big Rodge smashes him into the turn
buckle!
JS: Here it COMES! BAM! The RODGEBOMB!
TR: Stu over to make the count! 1, 2! Rodge pulls Golem up
and luaghs! Stu warning him, Rodge stands up, scoops Golem
up and SLAMS him down to the mat, he nonchanlantly covers
him!
JS: 1! 2! 3! DING, DING-A-LING! Call the SHOVEL CREW, cause
Golem has been PLASTERED! Way to go Rodge!
VA: This is just the beginning fans! And what makes these
matches more interesting is that none of the competitors
know who they will be facing until their names are called
to ringside!
TR: And not only that, the winners of the first round will
be in the second round and if they get pass that round,
they will go on to the finals! Tonight we WILL most
difinately crown the first ever FWF Cable TV Champion!
JS: My money is going to go with the NEH! JC has a plan, I
know it!
VA: Well he certainly DIDN'T HAVE a PLAN last week, now did
he? Rumors has it that he was TAKEN APART by Nevada and
Czar!
JS: That's just stupid speculation! No one even saw if it
was Czar and Nevada! It wouldn't surprise me if Malec or
Lebron had anything to do with that! I bet they have
realized that they made a very bad miscalculation, giving
JC a manager's license. And as you saw JC had a plan, not
only did he revive the NEH, into its folds came Big Rodge
and Minion! And if that wasn't enough, he has accquired the
services of KK and Maelstrom!
VA: That has YET to be SEEN!
TR: I have just been informed that we have to break for
the following FWF Promo!
(The FWF logo is shown, the Cable TV Championship belt is
shown also. Cut to: PCS as he talks about his upcoming
match with Jean Rabesque)
WINNER: BIG RODGE
(Cameras focus in on ringside, where Black Cat awaits his
opponent when, the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly begins to
play, the roar of a Harley is heard, the spotlight catches
Nevada as he comes down on his Harley FatBoy, he rides it
around the ring to the cheers of the fans)
TR: Nevada Smith has certainly come into his here at the
FWF! So far he has proven to be every thing he said he is!
VA: That's true, he has never denied the fact that he is a
snake in the grass, and will resort to anything to get the
win!
TR: I don't think he is ever too concern about winning as
he is about getting into a good old fashioned brawl!
JS: The man lives for that! He is extreme, he is brutal and
most importantly, he THINKS!
TR: A very deadly and lethal combination indeed! He slowly
and methodically makes his way to the ring. Not taking his
eyes off Black Cat as he enters the ring!
JS: Nevada doesn't trust anyone!
VA: Nevada doesn't even trust Nevada!
JS: SHUT UP Vic! I'm telling the story here!
TR: Nevada glaring Black Cat down! This man is all business
when it comes to fighting! Black Cat smirks and walks away!
VA: Ref Stu, laying the law down! Nevada shakes his head
and says something to both Stu and Black Cat! Now he walks
away and leans on the ropes!
JS: Knowing Nevada, he probably told them to screw their
rules, he has a set of his own! GO NEVADA! Take all his
nine lives!
TR: Nevada is said to be one of the heavy favorites to take
the Cable TV Championship belt here tonight!
JS: I agree! That man has fortitude on top of fortitude!
His resilence unsurpassed!
VA: What are you now? His PR man?
JS: Hey I know the MAN PERSONALLY!
TR: Well Paul Kramer has just been chased out by Nevada,
just as he was about to make the intros! And without
warning he cloobers Black Cat to the side of the head!
JS: WAKE UP CALL!
VA: Black Cat reeling backwards, but Nevada on top of him
pounding away!
TR: Black Cat trying to fend him off, ref Stu trying to
break it up, Nevada pushes Stu away and LOOK at THIS, he's
actually warning Stu to stay out of his way! Black Cat
takes advantage of this and dropkicks Nevada to the turn
buckle!
JS: A lot of good it did, look at Nevada's face!
VA: His eyes gleaming, his face distorted and as Black Cat
made his way to him, Nevada mule kicks him in the groin
area!
JS: TEAR HIM UP NOW NEVADA!
TR: Nevada commences to savagely pound on Black Cat!
Stu trying to again break it up and once again Nevada
pushes him away, this time he does not take his eyes off
Black Cat!
VA: A vicious powerslam, he scoops him up and PILEDRIVES
him into the mat, Black Cat rolls out the ring as stu warns
Nevada! Nevada just laughs!
JS: He runs his thumb across his neck, Stu doesn't know
what to make of this man, NEVADA!
TR: Nevada is viciously pounding on Black Cat, who has not
been very successful in putting up a defensive against
Nevada!
JS: Who can?
VA: Black Cat with a rake across Nevada's eyes momentarily
stopping him, he pounds away at Nevada! Nevada counters
with a flurry of his own!
TR: Black Cat losing this TOE to TOE battle with Nevada!
JS: Bad mistake, trying to go toe to toe with Nevada! The
man wrote the book on this kind of brutality!
TR: He is indeed a brutal man!
JS: A BRUTAL, THINKING MAN!
VA: I seen tougher!
JS: Sure you have! You just hate it that I have all the
inside scoops! And that all the top FWF superstars are my
buds!
TR: Nevada with a suplex, he slams Black cat to the mat
hard!
VA: THE DEVIL'S DROP! Nevada has DRILLED Black Cat into the
mat! 1! 2!
JS: 3! Nevada WINS! YEA!
VA: That's right show your true age!
TR: Nevada completely dominated this match! Stu raising his
hand, Nevada snatches it and raises his own hand! Oh boy
here we GO AGAIN! (Lights dim, the jumbotron once again
shows the NEH emblem, this time we see JC)
JC: Savor the moment Nevada, your little piss pot ass is
MINE! Look towards the entrance Nevada! (Six masked men
appear, the spotlight on them) You may be tough, but you
can not compare to any of the guys, you can't hold a candle
to none of them! Tick TOCK Nevada! Tick tock!
TR: JC making his presence know here tonight!
JS: JC has plans for tonite! And they are beginning to
unravel!
(Nevada gets on his Harley and drives towards the six
masked men. Cameras fade to FWF promo)
("Shapes of things to come" by the Jeff Healy band begins
to play, the spotlight, this time shines on 6'2" Jonathon
Nash, weighing in at 225 and hailing from Cincinnati, Ohio
as he comes down to ringside. The jumbotron shows cuts of
his wrestling career. As Paul Kramer finishes announcing
him, the music changes and we hear "Greedy fly" by Bush
comes down on the New Orleans SuperDome, the spotlights now
focus on NightShade who comes running into the ring, he
quickly wastes no time in attacking Nash)
JS: NightShade not wasting any time here tonight as he is
all over Nash!
VA: That's the only way you can handle a man of Nash's
status, after all he is one of the top athletes here!
JS: That's not it, NightShade has a date and he doesn't
want to be late for it!
VA: I forgot, Mr. KNOW IT ALL! Tell me Jake, know what
NightShade is going to do next?
JS: No, but I can tell you what I'm going to do! That's
kick your teeth in, just keep playing me boy!
VA:(Laughs) Yeah, whatever! Nash coming to life here as he
slams NightShade into the corner! Nash with an elbow to
NightShade's head. But NightShade comes out fighting and
they are in the middle of the ring slugging away!
JS: That's call a donnybrook dummy! Nash flips him over!
NightShade still holding his own as he kicks his way out of
a two count!
VA: A poke to Nash's eyes, he follows that with a cross
wing uppercut!
JS: What the hell is that? A cross wing uppercut! YEAH
right! Don't make up names for moves and holds you don't
know anything about!
TR: Do you know the name of it?
JS: Damn straight I do!
VA: Well?
JS: Well what?
TR: The name!
JS: Exactly! Nash with a clothesline, he goes for the
cover, (Laughs) but before Stu can get his slow butt down
to count, NightShade kicks out! Lose those 75 extra pounds
and you would've made it Stu! If I were Nash I would
complain to the FWF about how Stu made me not get the
count, it took him all of 59 seconds to get down to the
mat! Hell a deadman doesn't take that long to fall!
TR: What does a dead man have to do with Stu?
JS: Just look at him, he's a walking dead side of beef!
Look at all that fat!
TR: Whatever! NightShade grabs hold of Nash's legs and
tries to bring him down, but no can do! Nash a little too
big and a little too heavy! He mercilessly pounds on
NightShade!
VA: NightShade rolling out of a boot!
JS: Damn! Did you see how far NightShade had to roll to get
out of that big foot of Nash?
JS: Halfway across the ring and Nash is still trying to
stomp on NightShade! He makes a good roach stomper! Hey I
bet that's his day job! He dresses up as RSM! The Roach
Stomping Man for Black Flag!
VA: NightShade rolling out and breaking Nash's momentum,
but Nash will not have any of that! He comes out after
NightShade who runs around the opposite direction, rolls
back into the ring and catches Nash with a clothesline as
he comes in! The cover, 1! WHOA!
TR: Tremendous show of strength there as Nash hurls
NightShade over the ref's back, Stu can't believe it!
Nash quickly gets up, but a boot to his gut slows his
momentum!
JS: NightShade with a diamond cutter, NO! Nash hurls him to
the ropes and as he bounces back, he rams his fist into
NightShade's kidney area! Stu warning Nash about the closed
fist!
VA: Nash picking NightShade up, about to slam him down.
BUT! NightShade's foot gets caught up in the ropes, it
sends a whipping effect through both Nash and NightShade!
JS:Nash down on his knees, NightShade pushes off the ropes,
he comes slamming down on Nash, the momentum taking them
both down! (Burts out into laughter) Look at that, old fat
Stu wasn't quick enough to get out of the way! BAM! his
rearend must have burst a few pimples with that fall!
VA: He got up real quick too!
JS: Of course he did! How dumb are you Vic? Don't you know
that FAT is RUBBERY? Jesus Christ man! Get with it MAN!
TR: Stu giving them the mandatory 10 count, Nash first to
get up, NightShade tries to tackle him down, but is met
with an unmovable object! Nash beginning to unleash here as
he hurls lefts and rights that have NightShade dazed, a
dropkick and NightShade is down, the cover! 1! 2!
JS: No cigar as Stu once again takes over 59 seconds to get
to the mat!
VA: Don't you get tired of always exaggerating all the
time? Stu is the most respected of all the refs here!
He....
JS: He also sired you, that's why you are always defending
him aren't you?
VA: I have a good mind to.......
TR: Let's behave now!
JS: I suggest you just shut up and do your job Vic, I'm not
in a good mood today!
TR: Nash tosses NightShade across the ring, a big boot to
the side the face! A suplex and NightShade is once again
down, this time he's holding on to the ropes! Nash about to
pounce on him, but is met with an elbow to his face, a
savate kick and Nash is down!
VA: NightShade going on top! He comes flying but Nash rolls
out and NightShade hits that canvas HARD!
TR: Nash scoops him up and SLAMS him down, not once but
twice!
JS: Get down on the mat lardass! COUNT 1! 2! 3!
(fade back to the announcer's table)
TR: That was some match! NightShade made one mistake, and
it cost him!
(Lights dim as "Millenium" by Killing Joke drowns the
screaming fans, the spotlight picks up Shrike as he comes
down to the ring, the announcer begins to announce Shrike)
PK: Hailing from Wichita Kansas 6'1" weighing in at 240,
a member of the Birds of Prey! Shrikeeeeee!
(Suddenly the lights dim and Metallica's "Holier than thou"
engulfs the SuperDome. The jumbotron once again shows cuts,
it starts with a gavesite, a rainy and stormy night, focus
in on a tombstone. Lightning hits it, out from the ground
appear two hands! A voice is heard)
VO: BACK FROM THE DEAD!
(The cuts show first the old Minion in all his glory, fades
into a gravesite gathering of the NEH/UA as they paid their
respects and said their last good-byes to their comrade,
THE MINION! The spotlight catches a glimpse of the new
Minion as he comes down to the ring, "Where boys fear to
tread" by Smashing Pumpkins blares down on the SuperDome)
TR: Once again the NEH has undermined someone's intro!
JS: They're just warming up to the festivities! That's
their way of sending out the WORD!
VA: And what word would THAT be?
JS: Well it certainly isn't THUNDERBIRD! That's for sure!
TR: Minion wasting no time as he goes after Shrike, both
meet in the middle of the ring and are wailing away at each
other! Stu doing the right thing by satying away!
JS: Right thing nothing, he knows he too fat and slow to
move out of the way! He might as well ref from OUTSIDE the
ring, it'll be safer for that cow!
VA: Yeah! Whatever! Shrike with a series of shortarm
clotheslines, has Minion on the ropes, they both grab each
other at the same time and roll about! Minion on top,
pounding away at Shrike who kicks Minion in his back with
his knee, a closed fist to the side of Minion's head forces
him off Shrike!
VA: Shrike quick to the punch as he in turn is now on top
of Minion wailing away at him!
JS: Minion's just toying with him!
VA: Well he's doing a very good job at faking pain!
JS: What? Hey what happened?
(Minion has been tossed outside the ring, his head hits the
stairs, Shrike comes flying over the top rope and lands on
him as he was getting up)
TR: Minion in bad shape here as Shrike is taking the
battle to him!
JS: YEA? Look at the birdman now! He's eating concrete!
Know any good dentists? HAHAHAHAH!
VA: Minion out of nowhere comes and SLAMS Shrike onto the
concrete floor, shaking the cobwebs off he is now all over
Shrike! But Shrike continues to fight back, Stu trying to
get them back into the ring!
JS: HAHAHAHAH! Stu just got CONKED by BOTH Minion and
Shrike!
TR: This one has been none stop since the intros, they are
oblivion to anyone else but each other! Shrike grabbing a
chair, he comes down hard on Minion's side with it! Another
and Another! Minion GRABS the chair, Shrike went one too
many times to the well and got caught napping!
JS: Napping nothing! He just got caught! Minion hurls him
on top of the ringkeeper's table! He smashes the bell into
Shrike! KILL HIM MINION! FRY THAT BIRD!
VA: Stu over counting and instructing them to take it
inside the ring! Minion complies as he tosses Shrike into
the ring!
TR: But is dropkicked as he enters! Shrike all over him now
as he kicks and stomps on Minion!
VA: Minion getting up and just grabs Shrike by his throat!
He's going to slam him!
JS: BAM! Right through the roof!
VA: ROOF! Their fighting in a ring you moron!
JS: Hey stupid, it's a figure of speech! Something you know
nothing about!
TR: Minion now putting the boot to Shrike, ref warning him,
Shrike with an upper cut to Minion's lower extremities has
him reeling on the mat!
JS: WAKE UP STU! Didn't you see that LOW BLOW? On top of
being SLOW and STUPID tonight, he's BLIND as well!
VA: Stu has been doing a GREAT job here tonight!
TR: I agree!
JS: A lot you know, you'll agree to anything as long as it
makes you look good in front of the camera! Bet you don't
know what Stu is short for?
TR: What? Stuward?
JS: No STUPID!
TR: Well what does it stand for?
JS: Stu is short for STUPID, imbecile!
TR: (Looks at VA) Did he just call me stupid? (Shades claps
and laughs)
JS: Give him the dodo prize! Minion charging Shrike like a
mad rhino! He tackles him to the mat and is smashing those
ham hocks into Shrike's face! He ain't going to win any
beauty contest no more!
VA: Shrike trying to counter! Stu trying to break it up and
is knocked down for his efforts! They roll outside the ring
once again, Minion lands on top of Shrike and continuees to
pound on him! Picks him up and slams him onto the floor!
TR: That has to hit, that floor is not the ring mat, it
does not give!
TR: Minion is being warned by Stu to take it back into the
ring, he YELLS into Stu's face! He picks Shrike up and
tosses him over the top rope, he climbs to the top and
comes down landing on Shrike thigh area! Shrike reels in
pain as Minion continues to concentrate on that thigh!
Shrike trying to get away from Minion!
VA: WHOA! A desperate move by Shrike has paid off! He
hurled himself at Minion and connected with an elbow to
Minion head! He's walking around with a limp, trying to
stir life back into that leg! But Minion comes back with a
tackle on the leg! He begins to twist it and bend it!
Shrike trying to fend Minion off, as he feels the pressure
of his leg being twisted and turned!
JS: Tie that sucker up into a pretzel!
TR: Shrike kicks Minion with his other leg, again and
again, Minion on one knee, still applying pressure to
Shrike leg! Shrike kicks him lower this time, again and
again and Minion lets go of Shrike's leg!
JS: He is only getting Minion madder! He might as well lay
down and die!
VA: Easier said! Shrike has taken this one to Minion!
He's has given the Minion a fight for his money here
tonight! And JC is nowhere to be seen, after that vicious
beating he took at the hands of Czar and Nevada! I am.....
JS: That's strictly RUMORS!
TR: Both Minion and Shrike in the middle of the ring
exchanging smashing blows! Blow after blow! Stu yelling at
them to open their fists!
JS: Like if they were going to listen to Stu!
VA: He is after all the REF! He can DQ them BOTH!
JS: He is after all STU-PID and he is after all your dada!
VA: Hey Shades is it true you took afetr your mother's side
of the family? I heard BALDNESS run in her side of the
family! Especially the women!
JS: Hey Bald is in! And unlike your momma, who hung her
bloomers all over town, my momma was respectable! So off
her case, twat face! The woman is holy!
TR:Minion with an elbow smash, Shrike ducks and connects to
Minion's gut area! He grabs him and SUPLEXS Minion into the
ropes! He gets up quickly and stomps away at Minion! Minion
fights back and a donnybrook ensues! The fans are LOVING IT!
JS: Of course they are, the damn SAVAGES!
VA: Hey they paid our salaries!
JS: No my asinine friend, they paid YOUR salary! I get PAID
by a HIGHER authority!
VA: Sure you do, but I heard that they cut down on your
food stamps! (Laughs as Shades fumes)
TR: Minion tosses Shrike over the guardrail, SHRIKE HOLDS
ON! Minion's head that guardrail HARD, the recoil sending
him to the ring apron, Shrike hurls himself off the
guardrail!
JS: Minion GRABS him in MIDAIR and STOPS Shrike dead in his
tracks, Minion picks him up, he i.......
VA: Minion about to toss Shrike back into the fans but Stu
warning and pushing him! Telling him to go back into the
ring or he'll call for the bell!
JS: OOooohhhh! Stu-pid is showing just how STU-PID he is!
Now why would you do that to a man of Minion's status? How
DARE HE! I have a good mind of going down there a........
VA: And what? Make a fool of yourself?
JS: That's strike TWO, VIC!
TR: Minion hurls Shrike over the top rope and GRABS Stu by
the collar, Stu warning him! Minion lets go and head to the
ring where Shrike still a little groggy, hurls himself at
Minion! They are both slugging away at each other! One
outside the ropes, the other on the inside!
VA: Minion grabs hold of Shrike's head and he DROPS down!
What a move!
JS: FORE! KABOOM! LOOK OUT! Here comes the AFTERSHOCK!
VA: Shrike FLIES halfway across the ring! Minion climbs
back in and powerslams Shrike!
JS: COME ON STU! Move that wide load! Oh brother! (Looks at
watch) Look at that! Another 59 seconds before he got into
position!
VA: What would you know about positioning?
JS: (Very devious grin, he starts to rub his chin in a
sarcastic manner) Well you know! What can I say! Just ask
the three most important women in your life!
TR: You know I can make a fortune with you two!
VA: Shrike kicks out, but Minion slams him down, a standing
kneedrop! He picks Shrike up, about to slam him back down,
but Shrike is able to grab the ropes and he Tw........
JS: And he twarts Minion's slam! But Minion drops him like
a bad habit, after raising him up higher while Sherike held
onto the ropes! He is now slowly and methodically pounding
on Shrike!
TR: Shrike not backing down as he connects with a few of
his own! These two have been going at it NONSTOP for over
15 minutes already and it is beginning to show! Their moves
are slower and they are not following up as quickly!
VA: That is pure determination!
JS: Nope! That's BRUTALITY! NEH STYLE!
VA: Shrike is not NEH and he is taking it to Minion!
JS: MAN! Minion is toying with him! Like a wild animal
plays with his prey! First he stalks him, then he makes him
suffer for having to chase him and then he EATS HIM!
TR: And THERE'S THAT MISTAKE! Shrike went to the top and
Minion CAUGHT him and using Shrike own momentum, BRINGS him
down to the mat, Stu in postion! 1! 2! 3! Minion WINS this
one, but he took his LUMPS for it! Shrike went TOE to TOE
with him and at the end, maybe fatique set in, or maybe a
combination of fatique and that fatal mistake is what did
him in! My hats off to Shrike! He has shown me that he can
indeed go to the extreme!
(Flashbacks of match are shown, fade to FWF Promo)
(Fade back in to announcer's table where Shade is rubbing
Minion's win in VA's face)
JS: Next time, YOU'LL listen to YOUR SUPERIOR, ME! You hear
ME BOY! (Laughs mockingly)
TR: That was indeed a brutal and intense match!
JS: Like I said NEH STYLE!
VA: And LIKE I SAID! (His tone reveals his anger, Shades
mockingly back off) Shrike is NOT NEH and he took it to
Minion! So we can ALSO say it was BOP STYLE TOO!
JS: JEEZ! Anything you say, just don't explode! DAMN I
never seen anyone's head SWELL that big! Look at that Tony!
Isn't that the biggest swelled head this side of the moon?
(Tony ignores them as the SuperDomes lights dim and we hear
"Wreck on the highway" by Fate McCobb, the spotlight shows
A giant of a man walking down to the ring! Paul Kramer does
the intro)
PK: From Cornfield Arkansas! Weighing in at a massive
455lbs and at 7'1" BIG! The BIG one himself!
HHHHIIILLLLBILLLLLYYYYY TTTTEEEEEEEDDDDDDD! His opponent
for this evening will be....
(The FWF's theme song plays as the lights dim, We see the
spotlight shine on Wayne Roberts as he parades down to the
ring, he entices the fans into a frenzy)
PK: From the sunshine state of Florida and BEAUTIFUL Miami
Beach at a trimmed 263LBS! 6'7" of "FAN FAVOR" The
electricfying WAAAAYNNNNEEEEE ROBEEEEEERRRRTTTTSSSS!
(Big Ted gives Wayne no time to even enter the ring before
he is on top of him, the ref pushing the big man away to
allow Roberts time to enter the ring)
TR: BIg Hillbilly Ted almost twice Roberts size!
VA: Roberts is going to have to stay away from this giant!
JS: Maybe if he farts on him, he'll probably make him dizzy
enough to pin him!
VA: Leave it to you!
TR: Hillbilly Ted not letting up as he pummels Roberts! Stu
over to see if Roberts is still in this one!
VA: Roberts certainly is as he hooks the big Hillbilly with
a low upper cut!
JS: The walls of the HillBiIIILLLLLLYYYY come tumbling
down! Look at that beached whale! Harpoon him Roberts!
TR: Hillbilly Ted coming back from the dead, a kick to
Roberts groin sends him hurling backwards!
JS: He's just backing up before he gets caught in between
two beached whales, STU-PID and TED-TON-IC!
VA: Roberts rolls into the ring, Ted coming behind him and
HE's..........
JS: HE IS GETTING WASTED! Roberts stomping the living
bejesus out of that whale! ROBERTS HARPOONS HIM! He's going
for broke!
TR: A rake to the big man's eyes and a clotheslines, he
staggers, Roberts with another clothesline, still he can't
get the big man down!
VA: He's going for another one, but Hillbilly Ted GRABS him
and SLAMS him down, the cover, 1! 2!
TR: Roberts KICKS out just in time! Ted can't believe it,
he's shaking his head! Roberts slowly rolling out of the
ring, trying to get his posture back!
JS: Look at that dumb hick boy! Sticks his head out
in between the ropes and Roberts CAPITALIZES on it!
He is hanging on to hick boy's moon head and is cutting his
air!
VA: Stu warning Roberts, Roberts continues but breaks it
before getting DQed!
JS: Smart man that Roberts! Sting him and float away!
TR: It's about the only way Roberts can have any chance
here against Hillbilly Ted! He's going to have to use Ted's
bulk against him!
VA: Roberts back in, stomping away at Ted! Comes flying off
the opposite ropes and crashes with Ted's fist. the recoil
sending them both reeling!
JS: KABOOM! Hold on here come the tremors again!
VA: Hillbilly Ted falling hard and Roberts again
capitalizes on it! He's on the top rope and comes flying
down with an elbow smash to Hillbilly's head! Tries to roll
him over but is having a hard time doing so!
TR: The big man just flings Roberts off, but Roberts comes
right back!
VA: A jackal trying to bring down his prey!
JS: Why does he have to be a jackal! Why not a graceful
swan dipping his beak?
VA: It's just a figure of speech!
JS: With you, everything is a figure of speech!
TR: Roberts staying away from Ted's massive hamhocks! He
kicks Ted all over the back of his head! The Hillbilly
seems to have been angered by Roberts kicking him! He lets
out a yell, slams the mat and just rolls over Roberts,
knocking him down!
VA: The big man gets up first and scoops Roberts up with
ease, an airplane spin!
JS: WHOOA! Even I'm getting dizzy!
TR: So is Hillbilly Ted, his legs wobbling under him!
Roberts punching at his thighs, Ted drops down to one knee
Roberts with a knee to his face and HE FALLS on top of
ROBERTS! Talk about bad breaks! Stu over for the count, 1!
Roberts quickly places his foot over the ropes!
VA: Hillbilly Ted, gets off Roberts but not before hurling
a few haymakers!
TR: He scoops him up again and this time slams Roberts down
after, taking a running start! But ROBERTS HOLDS ON TO
TED'S NECK! He wrapped his legs around Ted's head and neck!
The momentum bringing the Hillbilly down in a circular
flip!
JS: Roberts holding on to one of those tree stumps, using
the ropes for leverage!
TR: Stu doesn't see Roberts legs on the middle rope,
Roberts very smartly conceals them using Hillbilly Ted
massive bulk! 1! 2! 3!
JS: Mooooooooo! Roberts just BAGGED himself a BEACHED WHALE!
Not too bad for a fan favorite SISSY! My pick to be the
farthest going SISSY in this tourney!
VA: Don't get your hopes up too high! The night is
still young and the fat lady has yet to sing!
JS: No but a BEACHED WHALE has just screamed his LAST
MOOOOOOO!
TR: Roberts has jumped that first hurdle!
VA: True, but how many more will he have to jump to reach
that mountaintop?
JS: What are you now, a damn POET! Stick to your day job at
the concession stand! Cause I see a long line and you
standing on it! The UNEMPLOYMENT LINE!
("Holier than thou plays as the spotlight focuses in on
Lady Veronica as she comes down to ringside in nothing but
bra and panties and kneepads, grabbing the mike off Paul's
hand she says)
LV: "Hey, Wayne...I think I've had a change of heart.
Maybe it would be nice to, well, you know...So why not
right here, right now? As you can see, I've brought my
knee pads."
JS: FWF is about to go XXXXX-RATED!
VA: I don't believe this!
JS: What don't you believe? That it isn't YOU who is about
to go to love love land!
(As Wayne gets closer to Veronica, Big Rodge rushes
through the crowd and smashes Wayne from behind with a
Pandora Bamboo stick. Rodge and Lady V commence to kick
away on Roberts until security comes down and clears it up)
JS: What a MAROOON! Did he actually think that Lady V would
even think of sucj\h a ridiculous idea! Hell Rodge is
more man than she'll ever need and beside I'm HERE!
(Vic bursts out into laughter. The FWF logo appears, it is
superimposed by the FWF Cable TV Title, a collage of its
contenders is shown. It fades off and fades back in, as we
see Nevada and Czar beatiing the snot out of JC, it then
cuts to the Sol Madrid parking lot, as he is hurled on top
of his limo's windshield, smashing it on impact! His driver
comes out, as two men in dark suits salute him and turn
away laughing, the driver looks first at the two men as
they drive off and then at JC who is muttering something.
He then races off, running frantically in the direction of
the nightclub. A special bulletin flashes on the screen, it
then fades off to promos of the up and coming FWF PPV)
(Zoom in on the ring, Paul Kramer is announcing the final
match of the first round. The spotlight focuses in
on.......]
PK: 6'8" weighing in at 301, Kalamazoo MI own! ("Come with
me" by Puff Daddy plays) Copycaaaattttt!
(The lights dim, they dim darker than usual, when they come
back on Sky is in the ring, Paul sees him and rushes out,
but before Copycat could see him, he attacks Copycat! The
fans go into a frenzy)
JS: The sky has fallen from above all has LANDED on
Copoycat!
VA: It seems that our last final match in round one has
commenced!
TR: Sky viciously pounding on Copycat, who gets in a few
shots, but is already staggering!
JS: This is is OVER before it even got underway! Sky hits
Copycat with the SKYLINE and Copycat is OUT! WAIT! What is
Sky doing, he's pulling something out of his trunks!
VA: It's a FLAG! He's placing it on Copycat!
JS: ZOOM in on it MORON! (Zoom in shows it is a map,
zooming in closer we can see it is the map of ASIA)
THERE! You see it wasn't a flag, but a MAP like I had said!
VA: You didn't say a.......
JS: SHTUTUP Vic! Sky not pinning him! Stu going over and
saying something to Sky who stares and then WALKS AWAY!
What is he crazy?
TR: I've just got word that Sky was NOT Copycat's opponent!
VA: WHAT!
JS: What are you DEAF? You heard the man, Sky was NOT his
opponent! (Makes hand sign gestures)
(As the lights dim once again, the spotlights gets a
glimpse of Billy Matthews, Metallica's "Unforgiven" echos
throughout the SuperDome, Paul makes the intro as Copycat
begins to show life, he get up and shakes the cobwebs, he
then grabs the map and stares at it, nodding his head, he
rips it up and tosses it out to the fans. Matthews enters
the ring)
PK: From Chicago Ill, weighing in at 201lbs, 6'3", Billy
MATTHEEEEEEEWWWSSSSSSSS!
(Copycat pushes Matthews and Matthews floors him)
VA: Do you think that Copycat thinks that Matthews had
something to do with Sky's attack on him, I don't even know
if he knows who attacked him!
JS: First off yer moron, I DON'T think, I KNOW! And what I
know is that you are just as dumb as STU-PID and now
Copycat!
TR: What are you saying man? Copycat didn't even see it
coming!
JS: Next time maybe he'll keep an eye in the back of his
head! Had that been me, I would've wiped the floor with
Sky, he never would have caught me off guard like that!
VA: Of course not! (Laughs in mocking manner)
TR: Matthews scoops Copycat up and slams him down, Copycat
rolls out, trying to catch his breath! Stu giving him the
mandatory count! He slides back in!
VA: But Matthews there to greet him, he kicks him in the
groin and flips him over! Has him in a headlock!
TR: Copycat reaches the ropes, Stu telling Matthews to
break it up, Matthews slow to comply!
JS: That's call damage control!
VA: Damage control? How you figure? Copycat has been
clobbered by first Sky and now Matthews is adding to that!
How is that DAMAGE CONTROL?
JS: Quite simple, SIMPLETON! Matthews is adding to the
DAMAGE and he is in CONTROL! Thus you have DAMAGE, CONTROl!
You idiot!
VA: You're the idiot!
TR: Children, behave yourselves!
VA: Tell him, he's the only DAMN child here!
JS:(Laughs and mocks Vic) Tell him, he's the only DAMN
child here! Him STU-PID! HAHAHAHAHA!
TR: Copycat with a poke to Matthews eyes, but before he can
get any type of offense going, Mathhews dropkicks Copycat
as he tossed Matthews across the ring, bouncing off the
ropes Matthews levels him!
JS: DAMN, your grammer sucks!
TR: Excuse me?
JS: Yea, you're excused, did you fart or something that you
want me to excuse you?
TR: Never mind Shades, I am not going to fall for your
antics like my colleague Vic!
JS: Nah, you too dumb to even try! If a tree falls in the
forest and no one's there, does it make a sound?
TR: Of course it does!
JS: You sure?
TR: Of course I am!
VA: Matthews dominating this match here as he clotheslines
Copycat into the ropes! Following it with a dropkick, that
has Copycat dangling on the ropes! Copycat never was really
able to shake the cobwebs from Sky's attack!
JS: Hey, a cat is supposed to have nine lives! He must have
already spent his!
TR: You have to give it to him, he has on numerous attempts
tried to make a comeback, but Matthews is simply not giving
him the breathing room!
JS: Hey isn't that what's it all about? Not letting up on
your opponent! I say Matthews is acting like a true
proffessional! Smelling the blood, he went for the GUSTO!
VA: He grabs Copycat and side flips him over! The cover!
1!, NO CIGAR as Copycat kicks out!
TR: Matthews kicked to his side!
VA: But Copycat not following through! Matthews with a
TREMENDOUS CLOTHESLINE! Drags Copycat to the corner!
TR: Climbs to the top! He flips over! The SHOOTING STAR
PRESS! Matthews has plastered Copycat with his patented
move!
JS: Way to go Matthews, MY money was on you!
VA: Stu counting! 1! 2! 3! Matthews WINS this one and
advances to the second round of this battle for the FWF
Cable TV title!
TR: Who will he face in round two? Big Rodge, Minion,
Roberts, Nash and your pal Nevada have made it to round
two! And if round one was just the beginning, the next two
round will be even more intense as the numbers dwindle dow
to two, and then ONE! The one that will be CROWNED the
first ever, FWF Cable TV TITLE!
VA: We have to break for a scheduled promo, and when we
come back, ROUND TWO of DIVIDE and CONQUER!
JS: I already know who's going to win that Cable TV title!
VA: Yeah right! Who?
JS: The winner of the final round you moron! HAHAHAHAHA!
(Cameras fade to a collage of the survivors of round one,
it then shows promos of Big Rodge and Minion, it then cuts
to Jonathon Nash and Billy Matthews, those cuts are
replaced by cuts of Wayne Roberts and Nevada Smith. The FWF
logo as well as the Cable TV title become superimposed on
the fast forwarding cuts of the remaining participants)
(Cameras fade back to the broadcast booth as the arena is
still a buzz with the events of the last match.....)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: I STILL can't believe it!!! The "Immortal
Sky" in the FWF!! More proof that the FWF is truly the
place to be!
JAKE SHADES: Yeah, if you like to hear the ramblings of
drunken, washed out poets.
TONY ROSS: Well, I'm sure that's something YOU would know
about FIRSTHAND Jake! In any event, Matthews advances to
the finals, courtesy of interference from the "Immortal
Sky", in any event..... (interrupted as.....)
How are ya, baby???!!! I been thinkin awhile now.....thinkin
about what I was gonna say when I got myself out here. I
thought maybe I should tell ya about how many heads I'm
about ta bash in. Maybe I should mention how many assholes
in this FWF are gonna be spitin their own teeth all over
this ring. Then, maybe I should call out a few a the
carbon copy, black label, generic tough guys that seem ta
overflow this place like my toilet after I eat corned beef.
Maybe I should talk at ya abit about how many titles I'm
gonna take, and how's abouts I plan on takin um.........
Then I thought ta myself, Nah, baby that's all kindsa
borin. I'll just do what I always do.........NURSE!!!!
(Raekker takes one long drink, and finishes his martini. A
woman with abnormally large breasts comes out dressed in a
very skimpy waitress costume. She brings Raekker a fresh
Martini and a steal chair. Raekker hands the girl a wad
of bills, and takes a seat on his chair.....)
RAEKKER: So just plant your ass in the seat there, order a
drink, an relax, cause I'm gonna tell ya a little story.
So I'm sittin there,
day like any other.....sorta. Tha people voted Gus
"Wrestler a tha Month." I thought that was kinda goofy
since the only fight I had that month was some kinda dark
match where I beat the nuts outta some guy in a mask, but
hey who am I ta argue with tha people, baby. Then They put
Raekker all over the world wide web thing. All kindsa
Prophecies from the Pub Booth. Long story short, baby.
I'm at tha best, top a tha world ma. Everyone's buyin me
drinks, slappin my back, the name "Raekker" is the 2,019th
most popular name for new born baby boys. Women want ta go
down on me, an don't even ask for dinner. I get ta wake up
every mornin' an eat bacon an eggs off a hooker's
tits........this is the way it shoulda always been, baby.
Then...........
a phone rings............
"Hi, this is Mr. Rothenstien's personal assistant from the
WWWA front office. Um, yeah, cause the league.....aaaa,
it's closed. We want to thank you for your services, and
if you could clean all your shit out of your dressing room
at the studios, we don't think charges will have to be
pressed. Oh, by the way, we're paying for the hotel room
you've been living in for the last week.....check out time
is at noon, and your last WWWA check will have to go
towards your room service bill. Good luck, you filthy
pig......Bye bye."
RAEKKER: Hard times, baby. I'm sittin back in my bar. My
ace takes his morbid ass ta Australia, my valet/girl takes
her ass ta the end of his shlong......also in Australia, an
ole Gus is sittin around gettin calls ta do appearances at
auto shows in Kentucky.......I'm screwed, baby. So I got a
little list on my chalk board, all the pros an cons of
shootin myself in the head......I'm tellin ya, baby. It
was enough ta drive a guy ta drink . Then, the phone rings
again! I says "hello." The guy says "hello, this is Scott
Malec." I says "Scott we ain't open till noon." Scott
says he don't care. Scott says he want's me ta go ta work
for him, case a tha fact that he has a wrestlin league an
what not. I says, "Well, will ya pay me more than I'm
worth?" Scott says "Waddya worth?" I says "not a whole
hell of a lot right now." Scott says "I'll double it."
RAEKKER: I says "Can I drink for free, an ya put me up
where ever I go....an what kinda dental plan ya got?"
Scott says "yeah, you can drink whatever ya want, sure we
can get all your travel expenses.....we have no dental
plan." I think about it for a few minutes. I says "yeah,
fuck it I'm in!"
(Crowd pops again....)
RAEKKER: Scott says "you shouldn't say the F-word
excessively." I ask what "excessively" means. he says
somethin about sayin it every other sentence......I ask if
I can say "baby" every other sentence.....he's says he
don't care. He says I gotta take me fat ass to N'awlins...
I says I ain't that fat, cause I been depressed for a while
an I lost about 5lbs. Scott already hung up.......so I
pack my bags, an take the party to FWF land. An that's
exactly how it happened, baby. I swear ta Christ.
RAEKKER: I know your next question, baby........Ya wanna
know what ya can expect from me in FWF. What am I'm gonna
do, an what am I'm gonna say. Well lemme tell ya somethin,
baby. This ain't gonna be like it was in the past. I
ain't just watchin from the sidelines no more, ya know what
I'm sayin. In the past, I couldn't do all the things that
I wanted ta do, cause a the company I kept. In FWF......in
FWF things are gonna be different. I talkin fresh start,
baby. I'm talkin change, baby.....an I'm talkin that it's
a cliche' but ain't nothin in this FWF ever gonna be the
same again..........YA KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN!!!!!
RAEKKER: Next BATTLEGROUND, baby...Next Battleground
Raekker makes his in-ring debut. (crowd pops again) Till
then....... RAEKKER LOVES YA, BABY!!!!!
(Raekker leaves the ring, again slapping all the hands he
sees, and thanking his fans all the way back to the
curtain, as "No Mercy.... cues up again)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE!!! RAEKKER.... HERE?!?
JAKE SHADES: Yeah.... so what, it's not like he's a PCS or
something you know!
TONY ROSS: Vic, if memory serves me right, wasn't Raekker
associated with Bothrops Nocturnus over in the WWWA??
VICTOR ALVAREZ: The ONE and ONLY Tony!!
JAKE SHADES: WAIT A MINUTE!! (feigning as though he NOW
remembers who Raekker is) NOW I REMEMBER HIM!!! Yeah, I've
always liked this dude!!! He's a lot like me, does things
his own way!!
(Tony and Victor exchange glances and shake their heads)
TONY ROSS: Jeez! I certainly hope he's NOTHING like you
Jake, I can barely stand you let alone another one like
you!! I've heard a lot about this Raekker fellow, and even
MORE about his partner Bothrops, and I for one, am very
curious to see how he stacks up to the FWF superstars! With
that in mind, I see a lonely Paul Kramer standing in the
middle of the ring, just about ready to start the
Quarterfinals, so take it away Paul!!!
(Cameras quickly zoom to Paul Kramer as he raises the mic
to his lips and starts his bark.....)
PAUL KRAMER: Are you ready for the SECOND ROUND?!?!?!
(Crowd pops frantically)
PAUL KRAMER: In the first match of the quarter finals.....
first, emerging from the first round with a somewhat of a
controversial victory over Beau Michaels..... Hailing from
Phoeniz AZ, he stands at 6'-7" and 283 pounds..... he's
HENNNNRRRY GOOOOOOLDWIIIIIRE!!!
(CUE UP: "Mary Jane's Last Dance" by Tom Petty and the
Heartbreakers as Henry Goldwire emerges from behind the
curtains and slowly makes his way down to the ring)
JAKE SHADES: (SFX: YAAAAWWWNN!!!) Someone should go out and
buy this guy some personality!! He is so boring that no one
even noticed that he was a top five contender once!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Unlike most, Goldwire doesn't seek out the
spotlight, the ONLY thing that interests him is WINNING
which he seems pretty adept at lately!!
JAKE SHADES: HAH!! Don't make me laugh!! That's why my boy
PCS RAN his ASS outta the FWF when he BEAT THE CRAP OUTTA
HIM!!!
TONY ROSS: I don't know what match you were watching Jake,
but the match "I" saw had it DEAD EVEN until the last few
seconds of the match! Hell if it wasn't for the Lost
Hanson's constant interference, who knows, Goldwire could
have been the THIRD FWF National Champ to date!!
JAKE SHADES: Yeah but he isn't so shut up so I can see
WHO's gonna stomp on Goldilocks now!!
(Cameras zoom back to Paul Kramer.....)
PAUL KRAMER: And his opponent..... hailing from NEW YORK
CITY! He stands at 6'-8" and weighs 300 pounds! He's a
former THREE TIME NFWA World Champion, he's also one of
members as well as one of the founding fathers of the
infamous NEH.... he's BIIIIIIG ROOOOODGE!!!
(The lights dim ominously as Big Rodge emerges from behind
the curtains at the foot of the entrance way ramp. He's
immediately greeted by a chorus of boos and jeers as he
makes his way arrogantly down toward the ring.)
JAKE SHADES: HOLY (BLEEP)!!! Goldilocks is a DEAD MAN!! Big
Rodge is gonna do him in NEH STYLE!!
TONY ROSS: Well, that remains to be seen, undoubtedly
however, this is a main event matchup in ANY arena around
the world and this promises to be brutal battle to the
very end!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: You said a mouthful Tony..... They both
meet up in the middle of the ring now and are standing nose
to nose jawing at each other.... and Big Rodge SHOVES
Goldwire!! Goldwire shakes it off and starts circling
Rodge.... Rodge calling for a test of strength here....
TONY ROSS: Goldwire motions to lock up .... and Rodge goes
for a kick to the belly but Goldwire was expecting as he
catches Rodge's kick and sweeps his remaining leg....
taking Big Rodge down to the mat!!
JAKE SHADES: C'MON REF!! HE PULLED RODGES HAIR!!
TONY ROSS: (giving Jake an incredulous look) You better lay
off that "special water" of yours Jake, it's starting to
affect your vision again! Goldwire applies the pressure
on the spinning toe hold.... Rodge reaches up and grabs
hold of the front of Goldwire's trunks and tosses him into
the turnbuckle!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Goldwire lands face first into the
turnbuckle and is momentarily stunned!! Rodge jumps to his
feet and ... OHHH!!! BIG SPLASH BY BIG RODGE SQUASHES
GOLDWIRE AGAINST THE TURNBUCKLE!!
JAKE SHADES: I TOLDYA GOLDY WAS GONNA DIE!!! HAHAHAAA!!
TONY ROSS: Rodge straddles the second rope and begins to
pummel Goldwire with right hands.... and Goldwire low blows
Rodge causing him to fall backward like a freshly cut
tree!! Goldwire drops to one knee as he tries regain his
composure, meanwhile Rodge is laying on the mat clutching
his groin!
JAKE SHADES: C'MON REF!!! Do your job and disqualify
GOOFWIRE!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Goldwire manages to get to his feet and
stumbles over to Rodge who is still laying on the mat....
he measures him and...... GOLDWIRE drops a knee to the
head!! That made Rodge forget about his "south of the
border" pain almost immediately!! Rodge is sitting up now
holding his head as Goldwire comes up behind him and ....
GOLDWIRE GRABS RODGE'S HEAD AND BEGINS POUNDING ON HIM FROM
BEHIND!!!
TONY ROSS: A taste of his own medicine wouldn't you say
Jake?
JAKE SHADES: (BLEEP) YOU!!!!
TONY ROSS: Rodge reaches up and.... OHHH!! He jammed his
fingers into Goldwire's eyes!! Goldwire is blinded!!
JAKE SHADES: Now THAT'S the Rodge I remember!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Rodge quickly jumps to his feet sends
Goldwire reeling with a European uppercut!! Goldwire is in
trouble now as Rodge moves in..... Kick to the belly by
Rodge has Goldwire bent over in pain and Rodge looks to be
setting him up for a pile driver.....
TONY ROSS: No!! Goldwire blocks it and.... BACK BODY DROP
BY GOLDWIRE!!! And Rodge landed right on his neck!!! OH
MY!! Rodge is in obvious pain now as he struggles to his
feet and begins to favor the back of his neck!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: That's the break that Goldwire needed, no
he can take those precious few seconds to recupe!
JAKE SHADES: Hell, the ONLY break Goldilocks is gonna get
will be in his back after Rodge gets through with him!!
All that's gonna do is make Rodge angrier, mark my words!
TONY ROSS: Goldwire taking the offensive now as he sends
Rodge to the ropes.... LARIOT by Goldwire almost
decapitates Big Rodge!! Goldwire is playing it smart!! He's
focusing right on Rodge's injured neck!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Rodge is slow to get up so Goldwire helps
him up by pulling him to his feet by a lock of his hair....
Goldwire sends Rodge to the ropes again.....
TONY ROSS: Rodge comes off the ropes ..... Goldwire with a
flying body press.......
TONY ROSS: RODGE CATCHES HIM IN MID AIR AND POWER SLAMS HIM
TO THE MAT!!!
JAKE SHADES: YES!!
TONY ROSS: Goldwire went to the well once too often against
this seasoned veteran and former 3 time World Title holder.
Rodge begins pounding on Goldwire with kicks to the chest
and ribs.
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Rodge is still rubbing his neck but it
doesn't seem to be bothering him as much as before.... he
pulls Goldwire to his feet ..... ABDOMINAL STRETCH!!! Rodge
has Goldwire trapped in an abdominal stretch in the middle
of the ring!!
JAKE SHADES: Tear his arms off Rodge!!!
TONY ROSS: Goldwire yells out in agony as Rodge applies the
pressure.... the ref is right on the scene asking Goldwire
if he wants to submit and Goldwire yells out an emphatic
NO!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: A man like Goldwire is not the type of man
who will give up easily..... it just goes to show you how
much character Goldwire has!
JAKE SHADES: Man pLeAsE!! It only proves just how STUPID
Goldweirdo is!!! It's just a matter of time 'til Rodge
tears his arms off and beats him with his own arm!!
HAHAHHAAAA!!!
TONY ROSS: You're sick and despicable!! No wonder NO ONE
likes you!!
JAKE SHADES: Now I wouldn't say NO ONE... after all,
Victoria's wife seems to like me JUST FINE, heheheheheee!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: As most things concerning you Shades, only
in your dreams..... Goldwire seems to be getting his second
wind now..... he's straining against the pressure of the
abdominal stretch.... Rodge seems to be losing his grip on
it..... RODGE is teetering.... and Goldwire flips Rodge up
and over!!! What strength displayed by Goldwire!! That was
an over 300 pounder he just flipped!!
TONY ROSS: Rodge jumps right back to his feet and charges
Goldwire.... Goldwire with an armdrag take down!! Rodge
right back up again... Goldwire with a drop kick!! It
staggers Rodge but doesn't take him down... Goldwire with
another drop kick.... that staggers Rodge once again but
STILL fails to take him down!!
JAKE SHADES: C'mon Rodgey baby!! Show him what the NEH is
all about!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Goldwire kicks Rodge in the shin.... Rodge
bends over in pain.... Goldwire with a running bulldog....
WHAM!! Rodge is DOWN!! Goldwire has finally taken Rodge off
his feet!! Rodge is very slow to get up..... Goldwire
pulls him to his feet and whips him into the corner!!
JAKE SHADES: NO!! Snap outta it Rodgey!!
TONY ROSS: Goldwire tries to lift Rodge up to the top
turnbuckle but Rodge is resisting..... a couple of shots to
the mid section took care of that... Goldwire forces Rodge
up to rest on top of the top turnbuckle.... he climbs to
the second rope.... gives Rodge a couple of lefts to the
side of the head just for good measure before climbing to
the top rope......
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony... I think Goldwire is gonna try to
superplex him off the top rope..... OHHH!!! Rodge just
rammed the top of his head into Goldwire's groin!!!
Goldwire topples off the top rope and falls to the mat....
Rodge climbs the top rope.... can it be...
JAKE SHADES: YES!!! RODGEBOMB!!!
TONY ROSS: Rodge leaps..... AND HE MISSES!!! GOLDWIRE
MANAGED TO ROLL OUT OF THE WAY AT THE LAST SECOND!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: They're both down now.... the ref is
starting his count....
JAKE SHADES: GET UP RODGE!!!
TONY ROSS: They both struggle to their feet.... they meet
in the middle of the ring.... and they're starting to slug
it out like two streetfighters!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Neither of them have much left in them
Tony!! This is simply a matter of who wants it more!!
JAKE SHADES: KNOCK HIS BLOCK OFF RODGE!!!
TONY ROSS: Rodge is starting to get an advantage as he
starts to land TWO blows to Goldwire's ONE!! GOLDWIRE WITH
A SMALL PACKAGE!!! ONE.... TWO.... THR... NO!! RODGE
REVERSES IT AND NOW HE HAS GOLDWIRE PINNED!! ONE... TWO...
THREE!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: NO!!! GOLDWIRE MANAGED TO REVERSE IT JUST
IN THE NICK OF TIME!!! Now they're rolling around tangled
up in a ball!!! They get tangled up in the ropes and the
ref forces them to break it up!!
JAKE SHADES: Hahahaha! I guess they were just having a
BALL!! HAHAHAAAA!! GET IT??
TONY ROSS: (sighing heavily) Goldwire is the first up and
he starts putting the boots to Rodge.... He pulls Rodge up
to his feet and stuns him with a few knife edge chops
across the throat!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony... what is keeping these guys going??
Just a minute ago they were almost totally drained of
energy and now they're going at it like their life depended
on it!!
TONY ROSS: Well it could be the fact that they both know
that only the winner will advance to the next round, then
again it could just be that they both want to beat each
other's brains out!!
JAKE SHADES: Don't you just love watching two guys trying
to kill each other?! Especially when you love one and hate
the other??
TONY ROSS: Like I've always said Jake, you have a heart
made of stone! Goldwire whips Rodge to the ropes... Rodge
comes off and ducks underneath a Goldwire clotheline....
Rodge with a boot to the midsection.... GOLDWIRE CATCHES IT
AND SPINS HIM AROUND.... LIGHTS OUT SLEEPER BY GOLDWIRE!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Goldwire has him in the middle of the
ring... Rodge is flailing his arms around wildly trying to
free himself!!
JAKE SHADES: C'mon RODGE!!
TONY ROSS: Goldwire jumps on Rodge's back trying to wear
him down but Rodge just keeps on stumbling about with
Goldwire's sleeperhold on him!! Rodge can't get Goldwire
loose!! He hurls himself backward into the corner but
Goldwire STILL has the hold on!! Rodge is almost out on his
feet as he stumbles to regain his balance and falls across
the ropes!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: What Rodge couldn't do with brute strength
he managed to do by hanging on to the ropes as the ref
forces Goldwire to release the hold... Goldwire pulls Rodge
to his feet.... he's setting him up for a suplex... he has
him up... but no! Rodge forces himself back down and DDT's
HIM to the mat!! Rodge rolls him over... hooks the leg....
ONE... TWO... THREE!!! Rodge did it!! RODGE ADVANCES TO
THE NEXT ROUND!!!
TONY ROSS: Incredible come from behind win by Big Rodge, I
guess that's part of the reason why he was a THREE TIME
WORLD CHAMP. But you still gotta give Goldwire a lot of
credit.... were it not for Rodge managing to get to the
ropes, he would have surely pulled this one out!
JAKE SHADES: Yeah, yeah, sure, sure.... the ONLY thing that
matters is that MY man Rodge beat that
never-will-be-wanna-be-has-been Goldweirdo, just like I
told ya he was gonna!
TONY ROSS: Don't go playing the fool Jake, Goldwire, win or
lose is a TOP CONTENDER in ANY federation and he proves it
day in and day out by taking guys like Rodge and PCS to
their very limits! So I could imagine what he would do to a
little PUNK like YOU once he hears what you said about him!
JAKE SHADES: Hell, he'll have to get in line for that!
Besides, he'll have to get past my main man PCS if he wants
a crack at me!
TONY ROSS: I'm sure nothing would please him more Jake,
fans, we're gonna break for a brief promo right now, but
don't go away, we'll be right back with more action in just
a minute.
(Cameras fade out to an XWA Promo.....)
(Cameras fade back to the roar of the fans and the
broadcast booth......)
TONY ROSS: Welcome back fans!! This has been an
unbelievable night so far as and it only promises to get
better!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: So Jake tell me, are you doing like you did
on the last FWF tournament and BETTING on who'll win??
JAKE SHADES: I don't need to bet.... I KNOW WHO'S GONNA
WIN!!
TONY ROSS: Pretty strong words from some one who got taken
to the cleaners last time!!
JAKE SHADES: I only have two words for you Tony....
(INTERRUPTED....)
TONY ROSS: Colorful as they may be Jake, it's time for our
next matchup.... Paul, take it away!!
(Cameras fade to the middle of the ring where Paul Kramer
is about to start his bark......)
PAUL KRAMER: The next matchup in this round will pit two of
the toughest grapplers in the sport today.... First, from
Cincinnati Ohio.... weighing 225 pounds and standing at 6
feet 2 inches!! He's JONATHOOOOOOOOOOON NAAAAAAAASH!!!!
(CUE UP: "Shape of Things" by The Jeff Healy Band as the
fans begin to cheer wildly as Nash steps from behind the
curtains and walks with a determined look down to the ring,
stopping only occasionaly to slap some hands......)
PAUL KRAMER: And his opponent tonight..... hailing from,
and I quote "where ever the hell I want to hail from"....
standing at 6 feet 3 inches and weighing 265 pounds....
He's NEVADAAAAAAAA SMIIIIIIIIITH!!!!
(CUE UP: "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly" by Ennio
Morricone as Nevada pushes the curtains aside and walks
arrogantly toward the ring.....)
JAKE SHADES: OH YES!!! This is gonna be great!!! I just saw
Big Rodge show Goldweirdo who the MAN was and now I get to
see Nevada MASH NASH!!! Get it?? MASH NASH?!? HAHHAHAAA!!
TONY ROSS: They're both all business now as the bell
rings.... they lock up and Nash forces Nevada toward
against the corner..... the ref forces the break and Nash
just slapped Nevada on the break and Nevada smiles widely
and nods his head.....
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony, I don't think Nevada is the type of
man you want to do that to.....
JAKE SHADES: You're definitely right about that Victoria!!
Stuff like that is like adding gasoline to an already out
of control fire!!! It's just plain STUPIDITY, that's what
it is!!
TONY ROSS: Well, I wouldn't call it stupidity but I
definitely think that a slap in the face is NOT the way to
start things off here against a man like Nevada.....
TONY ROSS: They lock up once again and Nash slips
underneath and behind Nevada's grasp and twists his arm
behind his back!! Nevada breaks that easily with an elbow
shot to the face!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: That elbow certainly found it's mark as
Nash shakes the cobwebs from his head and backs off a
little... but Nevada takes that opportunity and charges
Nash and spears him to the ground!!!
JAKE SHADES: OH MAN!!! What a tackle!!! He caught Nash
completely off guard!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: BUT WHAT'S THIS!!?! Nevada gets off of Nash
and waits for him to get to his feet??? What's going on
here? This isn't like Nevada to be so... so ... CIVILIZED!
TONY ROSS: Victor, it may have something to do with his
recent alliance, if you want to call it that, with FWF
Frontier Champion, Jean Rabesque. You know that Rabesque
and Nash are very close friends and maybe Nevada has no
desire over do it against Nash as a result?
JAKE SHADES: AWW MAN!!! Don't say that!! Say it ain't so
Nevada!!! Don't turn into one of those WIMP SISSY BOY
Wrestlers!!!
TONY ROSS: I don't think he could manage that EVEN if he
tried!! Nash quickly jumps to his feet.... he gives Nevada
a brief look of uncertainty as he does so and then rushes
Nevada!! Nevada quickly side steps and backfists him in the
back of the neck!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Nash stumbles a bit but maintains his
balance.... he turns and is taken down by a big NEVADA BOOT
to the face!!! Nash goes down hard again!! And once again
Nevada waits patiently for Nash to get up!?
JAKE SHADES: C'mon Nevada! Stop (BLEEP)ing around and
FINISH HIM!!!
TONY ROSS: Nash is showing some frustration now as he gets
to his feet and kicks at the ropes.... meanwhile Nevada
merely stares at him.... grinning! That seems to have
enraged Nash some as he once again charges!! This time he
catches Nevada off guard and nearly knocks him over but
Nevada somehow manages to maintain his balance and sends
Nash down to one knee with an overhead double axlehandle to
the small of the back!!!
JAKE SHADES: YEAH!! That's more like it!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: It almost seems as if Nevada is toying with
Nash... Nash with a quick rake of the eyes momentarily
stuns Nevada.... Nash with a series of rights and lefts
staggers Nevada.... CLOTHESLINE BY NASH SENDS NEVADA
CRASHING TO THE MAT!!!
TONY ROSS: That certainly wiped that grin off Nevada's
face! Nevada slowly gets up now, clutching his throat...
Nash with a fireman carry take down into an armbar!!! Now
Nash is taunting Nevada with mocking laughs!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Nash finally has the advantage on Nevada
now as steps over the armbar and flips Nevada for the pin!!
TONY ROSS: ONE... TWO.... KICKOUT BY NEVADA!! Nevada jumps
to his feet and LOOK AT THE LOOK ON HIS FACE!!! He has a
look of absolute RAGE in his eyes and stands there yelling
at Nash.... DARING NASH TO STRIKE HIM!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Nash obliges with a vicious left to the
jaw! Nevada staggers a bit but defiantly maintains his
ground!! Nash with another left... and another... and
another!!! Nevada staggers back some more but still refuses
to go down... and LOOK!! He has a grin on his face again!!
TONY ROSS: It's almost as if that grin were saying "is that
all you got?".... Nevada glares defiantly at Nash... Nash
with kick to the stomach doubles over Nevada!!! Elbow to
the back of the neck sends Nevada down to one knee!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Nash pulls Nevada up.... NEVADA WITH A
RIGHT TO THE MIDSECTION STUNS NASH!! Nash with a right....
Nevada blocks it and connects with a right of his own!!
Nevada sends Nash to the ropes... REVERSAL BY NASH NOW
SENDS NEVADA TO THE ROPES!!
TONY ROSS: Nevada comes off the ropes.... Nash goes for the
powerslam... NEVADA BLOCKS IT!! NASH TRIES AGAIN TO LIFT UP
NEVADA BUT NEVADA WILL HAVE NONE OF THAT!!! NEVADA HAS NASH
UP.... HE JUMPS UP INTO THE AIR WITH AND HITS A DEVASTATING
PILEDRIVER!!!
JAKE SHADES: WOW!! You're gonna need a spatula to scrape up
Jonathan SMashed!! HAHAHAAA!
TONY ROSS: Nash looks to be out.... the ref dives into
position as Nevada makes the cover.... ONE... TWO... THREE!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: This one is over in convincing fashion!
Nevada really applied that piledriver like none I've ever
seen before!
JAKE SHADES: That's ma man!!
TONY ROSS: You better not let JC and the NEH hear you say
that, they may think you're playing both sides!
JAKE SHADES: You just worry about yourself, with PCS on my
side.... I gots NUTHIN' to worry about!!
TONY ROSS: Well, that'll be VERY interesting to see...
(INTERRUPTED.....)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony, I'm getting word that there's some
sort of commotion going on in the back. Let's switch to
our on the spot reporter, Wilson "The Pest" Hazard who is
right on top of the situation.....
(Cameras fade to Wilson Hazard who is standing by with ....)
WILSON HAZARD: We have a bit of a situation developing
here, standing next to me is FORMER FWF REFEREE Danny
Diaper and he has a few things he wants to get off his
chest!
DANNY DIAPER: First off, I want to make a public apology to
FWF Pres. Joe LeBron, Exec. Vice Pres. Scott Malec, VP and
Lord Dread and most especially to you, the fans..... I know
what I did was wrong, and I'm deeply ashamed of it, I let
my greed for money get the better of me and I blew it all
away because of that SON OF A (BLEEP) (BLEEP) JC and his
EMPTY PROMISES!! I never should have listened to that
LITTLE (BLEEP) (BLEEP)!! And I'm telling you right now JC,
whatever I do, I'm going to get my revenge on you for
causing me to lose my job with the FWF!!
WILSON HAZARD: That's a pretty big threat considering WHO
you're threatening! Aren't you afraid of his association
with the NEH?
DANNY DIAPER: The way I see it, I lost the ONLY thing that
matters to me in this world... and that's being an FWF
Referee!! At this point I'll do ANYTHING to win back the
favor of the FWF Suits!!
WILSON HAZARD: Do you really think that anything you do can
mend the fences between you and the FWF Executive Committee?
DANNY DIAPER: I don't rightly know, but I'm willing to do
ANYTHING to PROVE myself to the FWF suits if they give me
the opportunity...... I'll even agree to face JC in a match
if the suits would want it!! All I know is that I lost my
job due to my greed and most of all to JC!! All I ask, is
if the FWF can find it in their hearts to forgive me and
give me one more chance..... (tears starting to flow as
emotions take over)
WILSON HAZARD: Well there you have it.... a former FWF
Referee and his LONG quest not only to redeem himself, but
to exact revenge upon one JC of the NEH! Will the suits
grant a sympathetic ear or will they merely ignore Diaper's
pleas for forgiveness..... All that remains to be seen, but
for now, back to you Victor!
(Cameras fade back to the broadcast booth....)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Wow! What a compelling plea by Danny
Diaper. I think he should be given another chance, what say
you Tony?
TONY ROSS: Well, he isn't the first or the last person that
JC has destroyed, career wise, but if it were MY choice,
Diaper would have to make some HUGE restititions before I'd
consider taking him back!
JAKE SHADES: Man, you two are SAPS!! Actually you're SAP
SUCKERS!! I wouldn't take that idiot back if he agreed to
work for free!! He took a bite out of temptation and got
caught doing it! Mind you his crime wasn't WHAT he did, it
was the fact that he was STUPID enough to get caught!! You
think I'd want someone THAT stupid working for me? HELL NO!
And neither should those three clowns, MOE, LARRY and
CURLY!!
TONY ROSS: Well, I don't know Jake, I mean, they allow the
likes of YOU to work for them so maybe being stupid is a
plus for some people?! Anyway, I see Paul Kramer has just
entered the ring so we'll send the action to Paul so we can
get underway with the next matchup.
(Cameras fade to the ring and Paul Kramer.....)
PAUL KRAMER: For our next match, first from Miami Florida,
weighing 263 pounds and standing at 6 feet 7 inches, he's a
former NAWF World and Extreme Champion....... He's WAAAAAYNE
ROBEEEEEERTS!!!
(The crowd reacts with cheers as Wayne Roberts emerges from
behind the curtains and raises his arms in acknowledgement.
He then makes his way to the ring, slapping a few hands on
the way down.....)
PAUL KRAMER: And his opponent tonight, hailing from New
York City...... weighing in at 235 pounds and standing 6
feet 5 inches tall, he's a member of the infamous NEH, he's
MINIOOOOOOON!!
(CUE UP: "Where Boys Fear To Tread" by Smashing Pumpkins as
Minion is instantly greeted with boos..... ignoring the
negative fan reaction he makes his way down the aisle until
a sign catches his eye..... it says "after tonight, Minion
will have died twice". With a flicker of rage Minion
reaches over the railing and yanks the sign from the fan's
surprised hands and literally tears the sign to shreads!
He then discards what's left of the sign and heads to the
ring.....)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: I think that sign hit a nerve with
Minion....
TONY ROSS: Well, Roberts will hit more than that so Minion
better stay focused.... Roberts wastes no time and catches
Minion as he enters the ring! Roberts is a former champion
and it's been a while since he's had the taste of gold, you
can tell he's hungry for this one!
JAKE SHADES: I hope Roberts has a hankering for a beating
'cause that's all he's gonna taste tonight!
TONY ROSS: Roberts is relentless as he pounds on Minion's
back.... Minion responds now with a knee to the abdomen that
momentarily stuns Roberts!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Now Minion takes the offensive as he comes
off the ropes and levels Roberts with forearm smash that
sends Roberts reeling!! Minion with a flying head scissor
sends Roberts sprawling to the mat!!
JAKE SHADES: I told ya Roberts was gonna get a beating!!
TONY ROSS: Roberts gets up.... Minion charges.... armdrag
takedown by Roberts! Minion back up.... Roberts with a drop
kick sends Minion into the ropes.... Minion off the ropes...
POWERSLAM BY ROBERTS!! Roberts with the cover, ONE...
KICKOUT by Minion!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Roberts going for the quick pin but it's
gonna take more than that to get Minion's shoulders down
for the three count.
JAKE SHADES: You said a mouthful Victoria! Minion's NEH and
THAT in itself means that he's tough!!
TONY ROSS: Roberts pulls Minion to his feet.... Minion with
an elbow to the gut.... and another.... AND ANOTHER!!!
Roberts is bent over in pain.... Minion off the ropes,
dives over Roberts, hooks the legs and slams Roberts down
for the pin....
VICTOR ALVAREZ: ONE.... TWO... THR... NO!! KICKOUT BE
ROBERTS JUST AS THE REF WAS GOING FOR THREE!!
JAKE SHADES: Man that was a slow count by the ref!! What is
this guy, Danny Diaper's brother or something??
TONY ROSS: Roberts, still a little dazed, instinctively
gets to his feet where he is met with a savate kick to the
face! Roberts goes down again!!
JAKE SHADES: Hey, was that teeth I saw flying?!?
TONY ROSS: I wouldn't be surprised considering how hard
Minion's boot connected with Roberts face...... Roberts is
slow to get up this time.... if he doesn't get something
going soon this will be the end of the line for him....
Minion, sensing victory climbs up to the top rope.... he
waits for Robert to get to his feet.... FLYING BODY PRESS
BY MINION!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: ROBERTS CATCHES MINION AND POWERSLAMS HIM!!
Roberts is just laying on top of Minion, he doesn't even
have the leg hooked.....
TONY ROSS: That was a desperation move by Roberts to avoid
getting pinned himself... the ref with the cover....ONE...
TWO... EASY KICKOUT BY MINION AS HE TOSSES ROBERTS OFF OF
HIM!! That caught Minion by surprise and almost cost him!
There's still plenty of fight left in Roberts so Minion had
better be more careful!
JAKE SHADES: Man what is it with that ref?!? First a SLOW
count FOR Minion then a FAST count AGAINST him!?! This guy
has GOT to be related to Diaper!!
TONY ROSS: Well, at least NO ONE will be accusing JC of
tampering with THIS ref, not that I see anything wrong with
the count mind you, but if this was another JC/DIAPER
incident, the count would FAVOR Minion.....
JAKE SHADES: That ref is in MALEC's pocket!! That's it....
this is a plot by MALEC to try and stop the NEH from taking
over the FWF!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: If you believe that then you are more
ignorant than even I imagined!
TONY ROSS: I second that! Minion scrambles to his feet,
pulls Roberts up and sends him to the ropes.... Roberts
ducks under a Minion clothesline, bounces of the opposite
rope.... baseball slide through Minion's legs!! Roberts
pulls Minion's legs out from underneath him!! Minion falls
face first to the mat and Roberts traps Minion in an ankle
submission lock!!
JAKE SHADES: C'mon Minion get to the ropes!! REACH BABY
REACH!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: The ropes are just out of reach of
Minion's grasp.... and Minion yells out in pain as Roberts
applies the pressure! The referee is right on top of the
action to see if Minion wants to submit! Minion reaches
back and grabs a handful of Roberts hair... ref William
Bennett ordering Minion to release Roberts hair... Minion
ignores him.....
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Ref William Bennett warns Minion but Minion
continues to ignore him..... Ref Bennett KICKS MINION'S
HAND OFF OF ROBERTS HAIR!!!
JAKE SHADES: YOU SEE!! I TOLD YOU IT'S A PLOT!! AND THERE'S
THE PROOF!!
TONY ROSS: What proof? You'd think by now EVERY wrestler in
the FWF would know by now that when William Bennett orders
you to break, you're going to do it one way or the other!!
He's not the HEAD REF for nothing!
JAKE SHADES: Yeah, I bet he GAVE a lot of HEAD to get that
position!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Minion is reaching for the ropes once
again.... he's almost there... HE GOT IT!! MINION IS
GRASPING THE BOTTOM ROPE!! Ref Bennett is ordering Roberts
to release the hold..... ROBERTS IS REFUSING TO DO SO AND
APPLIES EVEN MORE PRESSURE!! MINION YELLS OUT IN PAIN!!
TONY ROSS: Ref Bennett steps in and PHYSICALLY breaks the
hold!! Roberts jumps to his feet and is right in Ref
Bennett's face!! He shoves Bennett! And Bennett shoves
Roberts right back causing him to fall over Minion. Minion
quickly hooks the leg and covers.... ONE.... TWO....
KICKOUT BY ROBERTS!
JAKE SHADES: Hell even "I" know better than to lay my hands
on a ref, especially one that's put together like him, at
least until AFTER the match that is.
TONY ROSS: Of ALL the referees I've seen around, this is
definitely NOT one to mess with, with the build he has and
his no nonsense attitude, he won't think twice of laying
you out, and just looking at his physique, there's no doubt
in MY mind that he can do it!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Minion, still favoring that ankle uses the
ropes to help pull himself up..... Roberts sees this and
rushes in.... Minion uses the ropes to launch himself UP
and OVER the rushing Roberts..... OH!!! ROBERTS MISSED,
AND CONNECTED WITH THE STEEL POST THAT CONNECTS TO THE
TURNBUCKLE!!!
JAKE SHADES: YEAH GREAT MOVE MINION!!
TONY ROSS: Roberts slumps to the mat.... he's definitely
hurt as his shoulder connected HARD with the RING POST!!
Minion is also slow to get up, and he's still favoring that
ankle as he limps over to Roberts.
JAKE SHADES: Can you taste it? SWEET VICTORY FOR THE NEH!
TONY ROSS: Minion pulls Roberts limp body up to his feet...
lays in a few lefts and rights to the jaw.... he then whips
Roberts to the opposite turnbuckle. ROBERTS HITS IT HARD AND
FALLS TO THE MAT CLUTCHING HIS BACK!! Minion limps over to
Roberts and pulls him up again...... ROBERTS GRABS THE TOP
OF MINION'S HEAD.... JAW BREAKER!!! Minion crashes to the
mat holding his jaw in pain!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Roberts is down on one knee trying to
recupe some of his strength... Minion gets up... Roberts
gets up.......
TONY ROSS: Minion with a right hook ROCKS Roberts!! Roberts
with a left STAGGERS Minion!! Roberts with another left...
BUT Minion blocks it and answers with a knee to the belly
that sends Roberts to his knees gasping!!
JAKE SHADES: YEAH!! THIS IS IT!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: They both are nearly out of it..... a very
tired Minion pulls Roberts up by the hair.... he hooks the
arm and head.... Minion is going for a suplex....
JAKE SHADES: FINISH HIM OFF MINION!!!
TONY ROSS: Roberts blocks it!!! SMALL PACKAGE BY ROBERTS!!
Bennett dives to make the count.... ONE... TWO.... THREE!!!
JAKE SHADES: NO!! MINION KICKED OUT!!
TONY ROSS: I don't know if he did so in time.... NO! He
didn't!! Bennett is calling for the bell!! Minion didn't
kick out in time..... yep.... Bennett is raising Roberts
hand.... Wayne Roberts will advance to the next round of
the tournament!!
JAKE SHADES: WHAT A GYP!!! WHERE'S THE INSTANT REPLAY!!
TONY ROSS: You can complain all you want Jake, this match
is official, Roberts will go on to the next round to face
who knows who and Minion will have to hit the showers. Fans
we'll be right back with our final quarter final match
after a brief promo from one of the MANY FWF Sponsors!
(Cameras fade to a BOWFLEX promo showing none other
than FWF National Champion, PCS, doing a series of
exercises.......)
(Cameras fade back to the broad cast booth.....)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Welcome back fans, I've just been informed
by my sources that the FWF executive committee are in a
closed session.... the details are sketchy, but I
understand it involves the temporary lifting of Ref. Danny
Diaper's suspension as well as his possible reinstatement
to the FWF team of referees as early as the Battleground
immediately following this PPV!
JAKE SHADES: So those saps caved in to that SAP's sob story
huh?? I KNEW IT!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Like I said the details are sketchy, and
from what I understand still being worked out, but my
sources also inform me that NEW evidence has surface
linking JC to the charges of BRIBERY and CORRUPTION in
connection with the Danny Diaper incident!!
JAKE SHADES: Sounds to me like that CHICKEN Diaper is
singing like a CANARY in order to try and cut a deal with
the FWF for his job back!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: As a matter of fact Jake, my sources tell
me that ANY decision involving Diaper's possible
reinstatement will ALSO involve some sort of action taken
against JC of the NEH!! We'll have more details on this as
we get it!
JAKE SHADES: DAMN POLITICS!!! They don't know WHO they're
messing with!!! After JC gets through with them, they'll
regret the day they EVER granted him a license to operate
in the FWF!
TONY ROSS: Somehow Jake, I think they've regretted it from
day one! Anyhow, we're ready for our next match so let's
send the action back to Paul Kramer!
(Cameras cut to Paul Kramer at ringside.....)
PAUL KRAMER: LAAAAAAADIEEEEES AND GEEEEEEEEENTLEMEN!! Our
final QUARTERFINAL match of the evening will involve,
first, from parts unknown, weighing in at 236 pounds, he's
NOBLEEEEE KAAAAAAALE!!!!
(CUE UP: "Kill The President" by The Offspring as Noble
Kale steps from behind the curtains and amidst a HUGE
chorus of boos from the fans, makes his way down to
ringside.....)
PAUL KRAMER: And his opponent, hailing from Chicago
Illinois, he stands at 6 feet 3 inches and weighs 201
pounds, he is currently the NUMBER 1 contender to both the
National and Frontier titles, he's BILLYYYYYYY
MAAAAATTHEEEEWS!!!
(CUE UP: "Unforgiven" by Metallica Billy Matthews emerges
from behind the curtains. The fans immediately ROAR with
cheers as slowly makes his way to ringside.....)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: This almost seems like a match between the
forces of EVIL and GOOD. The fans absolutely DESPISE Noble
Kale and LOVE Billy Matthews. I don't think the fans have
forgiven Noble Kale for what he did to Helix. In fact, I'm
sure they BLAME him for his disappearance!
JAKE SHADES: If that's true then I went to PUBLICLY thank
Noble Kale for getting rid of the CLOWN Helix!!
TONY ROSS: Speaking of Helix, has anyone noticed what Kale
is wearing?? Look at that?? He has on a trenchcoat JUST
like the one Helix used to wear! Except this one is all
BLOODY!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: You know Tony, in all the excitement, I
hadn't even noticed just how much he appears like Helix,
from the trade mark trenchcoat of his right down to the
leather work boots, black cut-off jeans and electrical tape
on his arms!
JAKE SHADES: THAT'S PROBABLY HELIX'S BLOOD ON THAT
TRENCHCOAT!
(Suddenly before the match starts, the lights dim and
"Blue Monday" by Orgy is cued up. From the top of the
entranceway ramp emerges Nightshade, Big Hillbilly Ted,
and Isz. They walk arrogantly down the aisle and straight
to the ring. As they enter the ring, Isz tosses Kale a
mic and they gather around Kale as he kneels down in the
center of the ring and begins to speak....)
NOBLE KALE: Y'know...Times like this...When the puzzle
pieces, That took me 2 years to sort from a jumbled
mess...Slowly begin to fall into place...It Brings one to
question his motives. Is it right, to topple a company?
That took others far more blood sweat and tears to build,
than it could ever take me to tear down?....Is it right, to
humiliate the so called "NEH," who also have spent more
blood sweat and tears TRYING to topple this promotion,
than will ever flow through my viens?...And is it right, to
crush the blissfull ignorance, (points out into the crowd)
You've all lived in, for so...so long?........Then one
stops questioning ones motives. Becuz one...Or, me
anyway...Tis righteous. Because there are worse things out
there, than Noble Kale.....Tis best, that I save them, from
themselves......
(As the crowd begins to react to Kale's speech, his Goon
Squad exits the ring and begin distracting Billy
Matthews...)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: What the hell was that all about?? Did any
of you understand what he meant by that??
TONY ROSS: I'm sure there's some twisted meaning behind his
words just as there's a sick reason why he's dressed like
Helix.... OH!! LOOK OUT!! Kale just took advantage of
Matthews being distracted by his goons and nailed him in
the back of the head with that mic!!!
JAKE SHADES: Now THAT'S what I call using your head!!!
TONY ROSS: Kale hits Matthews a few more times with the mic
before finally tossing it out of the ring!! He takes
Matthews by the head and proceeds to ram his head into the
turnbuckle!! Matthews is in deep trouble already!!
(crowd begins to chant.... "BILLY... BILLY... BILLY...."
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Listen to the crowd Tony, they're 100%
behind Billy!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Matthews seems to draw some strength from
the fans as he lands an elbow to Kale's gut.... and
another, AND ANOTHER!!! The fans are going absolutley wild
Tony!!!
TONY ROSS: Kale rakes the eyes of Billy... and BILLY SIMPLY
SHRUGS IT OFF!!! HE'S HAD ENOUGH! Kale can't believe it...
he's starting to back up..... and LOOK OUT!!! Hillbilly Ted
just reached underneath the ropes and tripped Matthews to
the mat!!
JAKE SHADES: What are you talking about, that fool tripped
on his own laces!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Kale is immediately upon Matthews pounding
him with kicks to the ribs and head!!! Kale pulls Matthews
up by his long brown locks and sends him right back down
with a short arm clothesline!!
(crowd begins to chant.... "KALE SUCKS... KALE SUCKS...")
TONY ROSS: Kale looks at the crowd and flips them off...
he turns back to Matthews and... MATTHEWS WITH AN INSIDE
CRADLE!!! ONE... TWO.... NO!! Kale kicks out!! Kale was
just too fresh to get caught for the three count. Kale is
up first.... he reaches for Matthews... Matthews sweeps
Kales legs and Kale falls backward!! Matthews leaps from
his knees and lands an elbow to Kales face!!!
JAKE SHADES: OW!!! That had to hurt!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Now Matthews is taking the offensive now as
he pulls Kale to his feet.... OH UH!! Nightshade jumps up
on the ring apron.... Matthews releases Kale and dropkicks
Nightshade off of the ring apron!! And here comes Isz!!
Matthews knocks him off the apron with a forearm to the
side of the head!! Matthews looks down at Hillbilly Ted who
taunts him from a safe distance.... LOOK OUT!!!
TONY ROSS: Billy forgot all about Kale!! Kale just nailed
him with a knee to the small of the back!!! You may as well
call this a handicap match 'cause Billy is up against FOUR
individuals here!!
JAKE SHADES: Just goes to show you how STUPID Matthews is!!
He spent to much time gawking at Ted and look what happened!
TONY ROSS: Only you would say something SO INSANE as that!!
Kale pulls Matthews up.... SNAP SUPLEX BY KALE!!! Kale
pulls Matthews back up to his feet, he hooks the arm...
he's got Matthews up in a suplex, he's holding him up there
and walking around a bit..... and Matthews is begin to
flail his legs wildly.... Kale is having trouble trying to
hold onto Matthews.... HE LOSES HIS BALANCE AND MATTHEWS
FALLS ON TOP OF KALE!!! The ref makes the count... ONE
.... TWO.... THREE! NO!! Kale manage to get his shoulder up
JUST in time!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: That's TWO near pinfalls for Matthews!!
Makes you wonder if Kale would've lasted this long if not
for his goons on the outside!!
JAKE SHADES: Oh please!! Kale is just toying with Matthews!
He can put him away ANYTIME he pleases!!
TONY ROSS: They're both back up to their feet... Kale goes
for a belly to belly but Matthews blocks it and turns it
into a reverse atomic knee drop!!! Kale is hopping around
in pain holding his groin area!!
JAKE SHADES: LOW BLOW!! FOUL!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: RUNNING BULLDOG BY MATTHEWS SENDS KALE HARD
TO THE MAT!!! AND THE FANS ARE LOVING IT!!!
TONY ROSS: Kale's goons don't look too happy right now...
Matthews grabs Kale by the legs... he's trying to turn him
over for a Boston Crab..... Kale is fighting it.... HE'S
GOT IT!!! MATTHEWS HAS KALE TRAPPED IN A BOSTON CRAB IN THE
MIDDLE OF THE RING!!!
JAKE SHADES: NO!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: KALE YELLS OUT IN AGONY AS BILLY REARS BACK
SOME MORE!!! And here come the troops again!! Matthews
releases Kale just as Ted, Isz and Nightshade climb to the
apron and he rushes them.... SUICIDE DIVE OVER THE TOP ROPE
AND ON TO THE THREE OF THEM!!! THEY ALL FALL TO THE
PAVEMENT BELOW!!! Matthews is already up and he grabs a
chair and lays it across Ted's broad back!! He immediately
turns and jabs Isz in the throat with the edge of the chair
and turns around just in time again to nail Nightshade on
the head with the same chair!!
TONY ROSS: He just LAYED OUT Kale's entire crew in a matter
of seconds!! Satisfied that they won't be bothering him for
a while he quickly dives back into the ring and heads for
Kale who is just now getting to his feet.
VICTOR ALVAREZ: The ref is showing a lot of leeway in this
match...
JAKE SHADES: What do you expect, look who's refereeing,
it's that IDIOT Sal Putz!! Even Danny Diaper is a better
ref!!
TONY ROSS: Actually it seems to be more lack of control
rather than leeway..... HEAD SCISSOR TAKE DOWN BY
MATTHEWS!! Kale slow to get up..... Matthews moves in ....
he reaches for Kale.... OH!!! LOW BLOW BY KALE DROPS
MATTHEWS LIKE A STONE!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: The ref is admonishing Kale but at this
point the damage has already been done! Kale pushes the ref
aside, pulls apart Billys legs.... AND DROPS HIS HEAD INTO
BILLY'S MIDSECTION!!!
TONY ROSS: Midsection!?!? That seemed AWFULLY low for mid
section shot!!
JAKE SHADES: I wouldn't worry about Matthews, after he has
NO BALLS so how bad can it hurt?? HAHHAAAA!
TONY ROSS: You're disgusting! Kale pulls Billy to his
feet... he lays in a few knife edge chops across his throat
but Billy somehow manages to maintain his balance and stay
on his feet!?!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: I think Billy is running on instinct alone
Tony.
JAKE SHADES: What are you talking about running?? He' just
standing there holding his throat!? And you guys have the
nerve to call ME names!?!?! Sheesh!!
TONY ROSS: Kale whips Matthews into the corner and follows
in right after him.... Matthews hits the turnbuckle hard
and sees Kale rushing in.... SUNSET FLIP OVER NOBLE KALE!
HE HAS THE PIN!! NO!! KALE CONTINUES TO ROLL AND ROLLS ON
TOP OF MATTHEWS!! THE REF DROPS DOWN FOR THE COUNT AND
DOESN'T SEE KALE PULLING ON MATTHEWS TIGHTS FOR THE EXTRA
LEVERAGE!! ONE..... TWO.... THREE!!! Kale eliminates the
NUMBER 1 contender from the tournament and advances to the
next round.
VICTOR ALVAREZ: With a lot of help from his croonies Imight
add!
JAKE SHADES: What are you talking about? He pinned him ALL
by himself!!
TONY ROSS: It doesn't look like they're quite through with
Matthews however as Ted, Isz and Nightshade come in and
start pounding on the fallen Matthews!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: OH MY GOD!! IF SOMEBODY DOESN'T PUT A STOP
TO THIS MATTHEWS MAY GET SERIOUSLY HURT!!! REMEMBER! THIS
IS HOW THESE GROUP TOOK OUT HELIX!!
JAKE SHADES: So what, the FWF will have one less SISSY FAN
FAVORITE!!! Go for it I say!!
TONY ROSS: Matthews isn't moving and they're STILL pounding
on him....
(INTERRUPTED.....)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony the fans are starting to buzz.... I
think someone is coming down..... it looks like... OH MY
GOD!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!! THAT LOOKS LIKE... IT IS!!!
THAT'S HELIX RACING TO THE RING!!!
(Crowd erupts with cheers as Helix slides underneath the
bottom rope and races toward Kale's crew....)
TONY ROSS: Helix taps Ted on the shoulder.... DDT BY
HELIX!!! Nightshade turns and is face to face with
Helix..... Savate kick by Helix sends Nightshade flying
through the ropes and out of the ring!!! Isz charges Helix
and Helix back body drops him up and over the ring ropes!!
Now Helix stands face to face with his arch rival Noble
Kale!
(Crowd begins to cheer wildly as Kale begins to slowly back
off.....)
TONY ROSS: Helix looks to the crowd and cocks his fists and
approaches Kale who is on his knees pleading.... Helix
grabs hold of Kale, looks to the crowd, who respond their
approval and begins to nail Kale with right hands!!! The
crowd goes wild as Helix winds up with a bolo punch which
connects and sends Kale through the ropes!!
JAKE SHADES: Just when we were gonna get rid of Matthews
from the FWF THIS CLOWN returns!!
TONY ROSS: The crowd is absolutely LOVING IT!!! Helix has
returned and it couldn't have been at a more perfect time
as he was just in time to save Billy Matthews from being
the NEXT victim of Kale and company!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Kale walks over to Billy Matthews who is
just now starting to stir.... he's still hurt pretty bad,
and Helix helps him to his feet..... and what's this???
What's Helix doing?? It looks like he's .... OH NO!! HE'S
APPLYING THE HELIX CHOKEHOLD ON BILLY MATTHEWS!!?!?! WHAT'S
HE DOING?!? NO!!!!
JAKE SHADES: YES!!! I KNEW IT ALL ALONG!!! HELIX HAS
FINALLY SEEN THE LIGHT!!! RIP HIS HEAD OFF BABY!!
TONY ROSS: The crowd is STUNNED into silence as Helix
continues to apply the Helix chokehold on Billy Matthews!!
And now Hillbilly Ted, Isz, Nightshade and Noble Kale come
back into the ring and start kicking and punching on
Matthews while Helix continues to apply more pressure on
his chokehold!!!
VICTOR ALVARAZ: IT WAS A SET UP TONY!! HELIX HAS APPARENTLY
JOINED THE RANKS OF KALE AND COMPANY!!! HE WAS IN ON THIS
ALL ALONG!!!
TONY ROSS: Helix didn't come here to SAVE Matthews, he came
here to HELP KALE and CO. DESTROY HIM!!!
JAKE SHADES: YEAH!! DO HIM!! DO HIM!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: The beating Matthews was getting before is
NOTHING compared to what he's getting now!! What's this?!?
The fans are starting to react to something.... Some one
else is coming to the ring!!! YES!!! It's Sean Edmunds and
Jared Wells!!! D-XxX has arrived and they're starting to
clean house!! Edmunds smashes Isz's and Nightshade's heads
together..... Wells clotheslines Big Hillbilly Ted right
over the top rope!! Helix release the chokehold and
retreats along with Noble Kale!! JUST LISTEN TO THE FANS
TONY!!! D-XxX HAS JUST SAVED BILLY MATTHEWS!!! They're
daring Kale and company to step back into the ring but they
just continue their retreat to the lockerrooms, just goes
to show you that they are nothing but cowards!!!
JAKE SHADES: Cowards?? I think not Victoria! They already
did the damage, there's no need to go back in the ring!
TONY ROSS: Unfortunately, Jake may be right as far as
that's concerned.... Edmunds and Wells help a badly beaten
Matthews to his feet..... he staggers a bit but with their
help manages to maintain his balance somewhat..... it looks
as if Matthews is going to be okay.... he's beaten up some,
but it doesn't look TOO serious!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony look, Wells has pulled something out
from his back pocket.... it's ... it's a D-XxX T-Shirt!! A
few weeks back Edmunds and Wells made this same offer to
Matthews and he never gave them an answer.
TONY ROSS: Yes I remember! As I recall Matthews neither
declined or accepted, he simply made his way back to the
dressing room, leaving Wells and Edmunds wondering.
Matthews looks at Edmunds then at Wells for a long time...
He seems to be saying something to them.... it looks as if
Wells is giving him some sort of explanation..... Matthews
looks at Wells for a few moments.... then at the T-shirt..
TONY ROSS: Matthews looks to the crowd and they begin to
cheer.... AND MATTHEWS GRAB THE SHIRT AND PUTS IT ON!!!
MATTHEWS HAS ACCEPTED THEIR OFFER TO JOIN D-XxX!!! The
crowd goes wild as Edmunds and Wells each raises Matthews
hand up in the air!! The fans are loving it!!! The crowd
continues to cheer them as they help Matthews back to the
dressing room!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: What a match full of surprises Tony! First
After a LONG mysterious absence, Helix finally returns,
apparently to save Matthews, but then ends up joining Kale
and company and now Matthews joins D-XxX!!
JAKE SHADES: D-XxX will regret the day they ever messed
with Kale and his crew.... mark my words!
TONY ROSS: Not to mention the arrival of Raekker and SKY to
the FWF! And from this crowd reaction right now, it looks
as if the surprises are yet to be over with.
(The lights in the arena go out, shrouding the crowd in
complete darkness. As the crowd murmurs to themselves with
slight uncertainty, an EAR-SPLITTING HOWL slices through
the blackness. The crowd immediately comes alive with a
sizeable pop. After a long moment, the noise begins to
abate, and the lights come back up. This time, the pop is
even louder, for in ring, sitting hunched forward atop one
of the turnbuckles, is the Black Mountain native.......
STONE WOLF. Right now, he simply gazes forward with a
somewhat serene demeanor, his hands folded in front of
him. As the fan adulation washes over him, we see him
slowly cock his head to one side, and let his gaze slowly
swing from one end of the arena to the other, taking this
all in. Finally, we see him emit a visible sigh, and step
off the turnbuckle onto the mat. Calmly, he motions for a
microphone, accepts it, and stands at center ring, the mic
at his side, as if choosing his words with great care.....)
STONE WOLF: It's been five months...........five, LONG
months since I've stood in a wrestling ring. Then, I was a
victim of history that, by some sick twist of fate, had
found a way to repeat itself. And myself, as its..
......"benificiary".......saw my world explode around
me......and go dark. I suppose that I might have ended
it right there, as I would forever be a prisoner of a mind,
body, and soul that would never let me forget my
one failure........(an odd smile creeps to his lips)
No........not his. He should be so lucky. He already has
enough to lord over me for one lifetime. No.....this time I
speak of my own damnable perfectionism. With each success
that puts it further and further behind, it haunts me
still. But when revenge becomes impossible to attempt any
longer, where's does any sane man turn? To a nine
millimeter or a pack of razor blades, some would argue....
But when you've lived your entire life to achieving the
solitary goal that is WALKING the fine line between
lucidity and madness, such a solution seems......how do you
say it....."unfulfilling." That's why I'm here.......
today....... because when you come right down to it.....
where else would I be? Where else could I go? But this
time............. ....this time, I'm
not walking away without everything I'm here for....... And
who knows..........maybe... just maybe, somewhere along the
way, I'll show a few people the LIGHT......."
(Suddenly the lights go out again and when they return...
Stone Wolf is gone... just as mysteriously as he had
appeared....)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!! WHAT A COUPE FOR THE
FWF TO GET A WRESTLER THE CALIBRE OF STONE WOLF!! THE FWF
HAS OUTDONE ITSELF TONIGHT!! SO FAR THEY'VE ACQUIRED "the
Immortal Sky", Raekker, Helix has returned, and now STONE
WOLF has joined the FWF!!! If there are ANY doubters out
there as to WHICH promotion is the LEADER in the WRESTLING
INDUSTRY.... tonight is DEFINITELY proof positive that the
FWF REIGNS SUPREME ABOVE ALL THE REST!!
JAKE SHADES: The ONLY reason that the FWF is arguably the
BEST wrestling federation around is because of ME and PCS!!!
TONY ROSS: Yeah.. YOU, Jake have CERTAINLY been an
inspiration to wrestling fans all over the world Jake....
an inspiration of what NOT to be like!! Fans, we have more
wrestling action coming your way, we'll be right back with
the start of the semi finals right after this FWF PROMO...
(Cameras fade out to a promo for the NEW FWF WRESTLING
ACTION FIGURES.......)
(The camera pans around the huge crowd at the Superdome in
New Orleans before zooming in on Paul Kramer at mid-ring)
PAUL KRAMER: "And now, the semi-final matches for the FWF
Cable Television Title Tournament!! First, coming to the
ring," (CUE-UP: "Holier Than Thou" by Metallica) "From New
York City, weighing in at 300lbs., BIG RODGE!! He is
accompanied by Lady Veronica!"
(The crowd boos loudly as Rodge makes his way to the ring
wearing a cocky grin. Lady Veronica has changed her outfit
to a sexy low-cut cocktail dress)
P.K.: "And his opponent," (CUE-UP: "The Good, the Bad, and
the Ugly" by Ennio Marrione. A loud roaring motorcycle
noise is heard) "From Wherever the hell he wants to hail
from, weighing in at 265lbs., NEVADA SMITH!!"
(The crowd explodes as Nevada bursts through the curtain on
his Harley Fat Boy. He roars up to the ring, dismounts the
bike, puts the kickstand down, and jumps on the apron and
raises his hands high as the New Orleans fans continue to
roar)
TONY ROSS: "What a barnburner this is gonna be! We've seen
the arrival of Gus Raekker, and Stone Wolf has hit the FWF!
We just witnessed an incredible match between Billy Matthews
and Noble Kale, and we still have a long way to go!"
VICTOR ALVAREZ: "The action has been intense tonight and
it's only going to get hotter here in this match! Bad blood
is boiling between the NEH and Nevada Smith!"
JAKE SHADES: "And Rodge is going to make Nevada look like a
green rookie in there!"
T.R.: "Jake, I guess it's safe to say that you are no
longer a Nevada Smith fan!"
J.S.: "Not when all these witless peons keep screaming his
name! I refuse to jump on his bandwagon, I don't follow
trends!"
T.R.: "Yeah right! Your head is so far up JC's rearend,
we don't know where JC ends and you start!"
J.S.: "Shut up, Ross! You're just jaelous because you don't
have powerful friends like me! And you shouldn't talk, I
saw you on your knees in Lebron's office the other day
through the keyhole! I don't know what you were doing, but
I heard the noises!"
T.R.: "Shades, don't ever accuse me of doing anything that
disgusting again! Let's get to the match here! Rodge and
Nevada are at mid-ring engaged in a staredown! Listen to
this crowd, they have been whipped into a frenzy
tonight! Rodge steps back and flexes, but Nevada kicks him
in the gut and DDTs him!! Wow!! Just like that!!"
V.A.: "He's not covering him, he's taunting him!"
T.R.: "I think he realizes that he can't beat Rodge that
easily, he's already shaken it off!"
J.S.: "Come on Rodge, don't let this "Easy Rider" reject,
Dennis Hopper wannabe get to ya!"
T.R. "Nevada attacks Rodge again! Big right and lefts and
Rodge is staggered! Nevada rakes his eyes and kicks him in
the stomach! We are not going to see the sweet science in
this match!"
JAKE SHADES: "I just want to see some BLOOD!! Nevada's
blood!"
TONY ROSS: "What a turnaround for Jake Shades, a long time
Nevada Smith supporter! Nevada whips Rodge into the ropes
and knees him in the stomach, and the big man does a flip!
Lady Veronica is screaming encouragement as she looks on!"
J.S.: "Damn does she look good tonight, that was great how
she embarassed Roberts earlier! Like she would give that
two-bit punk the time of day!"
VICTOR ALVAREZ: "Nevada seems to be turning it up a notch
as the tournament progresses! He's already demolished Black
Cat and Jonathan Nash, and Big Rodge may be next on the
list!"
T.R.: "It's not going to be that easy, Vic! Nevada is
putting the boots to Rodge and he rolls out of the ring by
Veronica! Rodge has got to regroup here! Nevada is leaning
over the ropes yelling and taunting Rodge! Rodge trips
Nevada and pulls him under the ropes and you knew this was
going to happen! A brawl on the outside!"
V.A.: "Lady Veronica just jumped on Nevada's back! She's
scratching and clawing at him as Rodge punches and kicks
Nevada! Referee Stu Fields is not going to let it go! He's
out there trying to pull her off and ohh! Veronica just
slapped him away!"
T.R.: "Here comes Enigma!! The crowd is roaring as she
comes flying to ringside!! Fields is losing control here!
Enigma grabs Veronica by her dress and she yanks her right
off of Nevada! Now she's staring a hole into Veronica as
Veronica backs away in mortal fear!"
J.S.: "Get that damn amazon out of here! This is none of
her business! Hey Fields, do something about this!"
T.R.: "Stu Fields is trying to pull the two ladies away as
Rodge gets in Enigma's face! What is the point of this!?
Rodge is trying to intimidate Enigma as Veronica stands
behind him!! Ohh!! Nevada just kneed Rodge from behind and
he went head first into the steel post!! What a shot!!"
V.A.: "I think Rodge may be opened up here! He flew into
that post with incredible force! Veronica and Enigma
continue to argue!"
J.S.: "Why doesn't Veronica have her bamboo stick! She
would change Enigma's name to Enema with that thing!"
T.R.: "Nevada goes over and pulls Rodge to his feet and
rolls him into the ring! Fields comes back in and it looks
like Enigma is just going to watch Veronica so she doesn't
pull anything! Enigma is JC's cousin and that is just
creating even more tension with Nevada and JC!"
J.S.: "JC is the reason she is even here tonight, otherwise
she would still be washing N.E and Konn's underwear back
on Pandora Island! This broad better know her place and
don't mess with cousin JC!"
V.A.: "There are more family feuds than we can count on
Pandora Island!"
T.R.: "You got that right Vic! Ohhh!! Rodge with a low blow
as Nevada was pulling him up! Rodge slowly gets to his feet
and shakes off Nevada's assault! Rodge picks him up and
slams him neckfirst onto the ropes!! Nevada is reeling
after that one, he's having trouble breathing! Rodge drags
him right back up by the hair and whips him in!"
TONY ROSS: "Sidewalk slam!! With authority!! He almost put
Nevada through the mat!"
VICTOR ALVAREZ: "This is a mistake! Rodge is taunting the
crowd and now he's over by the ropes yelling at Enigma to
get away from Veronica!"
T.R.: "All she's doing is watching her, which I think is a
great idea! Veronica is known for her constant
interference!"
J.S.: "Rodge ought to go out there and slap her around a
little bit, let her know who's boss!"
T.R.: "I can tell you're a hit with women's rights groups,
Shades! You better watch your mouth or you're going to find
yourself on the wrong end of a lawsuit!"
J.S.: "Bring it on! The NEH has the best lawyers money can
buy! I'm pretty much untouchable!"
T.R.: "Yeah, tell that to Lebron and Malec! Rodge is back
to Nevada as he pulls him up and hooks him for a suplex!
He's got him up and he holds Nevada up high and drops him
to the mat! Rodge rolls right on top!! 1-2-No!"
V.A.: "Rodge hung Nevada up there so all the blood would
rush to Nevada's head and disorientate him!"
J.S.: "And kill what little brain cells he has left!"
T.R.: "Rodge methodically chokes Smith here as Fields tries
to get him to break it! Veronica yells encouragement as
Enigma watches her closely! Rodge lets off and bellows at
the crowd and they respond with thunderous boos! What a
throng we have here at the Superdome in New Orleans! It's
been a constant roar in here!"
J.S.: "That's just all the gas from the 200 tons of
crawfish these Cajun hillbillies ate before they got here!
That and all the gumbo tends to stir the stomach!"
T.R.: "All right, that's enough of the bathroom humor! Rodge
turns and gets met with a Nevada Smith right hand from his
knees! Nevada fights back to his feet!! Rights, lefts and a
short clothesline!! Both men are down!!"
V.A.: "Rodge's mistakes caught up to him there! If you're
going to wrestle Nevada Smith, you have to stay on him like
glue!"
J.S.: "Kind of like the way the flies stick to Nevada! I
heard Nevada once went three months straight without
showering, and all the splattered bugs from the road were
stuck to his body! Not a pretty sight!"
T.R.: "Rodge is up first and he kicks Nevada in the ribs,
but Nevada was playing possum and he grabs Rodge and trips
him!! Now he's on top and pounding away at Rodge with a
fury and the crowd responds!! He's going to town on him!!
Nevada stands up and towers over his prey with his arms
high and this crowd in the Crescent City loves it!"
V.A.: "Now Nevada can't make the same mistake Rodge did, he
has to stay on him!"
T.R.: "And that's what he does! Nevada pulls Rodge up! He's
going for a piledriver!! He drilled Rodge with it!!
1-2-Ohhh!! So close to a win for Nevada! Nevada comes off
the ropes and drops a vicious elbow! He stomps Rodge in the
head a few times before he drags him to his feet!"
TONY ROSS: "Nevada whips him in! Flying clothesline! Nevada
quickly follows it up with the Protraction, an inverted
sleeper! He forces Rodge down like an inverted DDT but
applies a reverse sleeper while burying his knee in Rodge's
back!! This hold is deadly!"
JAKE SHADES: "Come on Rodge, you can break this sissy hold!
Nevada's just a glorified street brawler, you're above
that!"
VICTOR ALVAREZ: "There is unbelievable pressure on Rodge's
neck here! He may be going out at anytime!"
T.R.: "Rodge is not out yet! Wait a minute! Veronica is on
the apron trying to get Fields' attention! What is this all
about, what does she want! Enigma goes over and pulls
Veronica right off the apron and Veronica is screaming at
her! Ohhh!! She just slapped Enigma in the face!! Enigma
pushes her! Veronica with a spin kick and that didn't do
anything! Enigma is a one tough customer! Veronica runs to
the other side of the ring for her life!"
J.S.: "Enigma better leave her alone or she is going to pay
for it, believe me!!"
T.R.: "Veronica hides on the other side of the ring and
Enigma is going to cut through the ring to catch her!
Fields stops her at mid ring and is trying to get her out!"
V.A.: "Veronica's reaching under the ring for something!
What is it!?"
T.R.: "Nevada still has the Protraction locked on and
Veronica pulls a bamboo cane out from under the ring!! How
the hell did that get there!?"
J.S.: "They have their ways, Tony, they have their ways!"
T.R.: "Veronica climbs into the ring behind Nevada and
ohhhhhh!!!! She just took a baseball swing and nailed
Nevada right in the back of the head!! My God!! Nevada
collapses right to the mat, he is out like a light! Fields
gets Enigma out of the ring and Rodge throws an arm over
Nevada!! 1-2-3!! What a travesty!! Nevada Smith has been
cheated out of his chance at the Cable TV Title!!"
J.S.: "And how sweet it is!! Ha ha ha ha!!"
V.A.: "Enigma is chasing Veronica back into the ring!!
Rodge is in la la land and can't stop the attack!!"
T.R.: "Enigma has Veronica cornered!! Veronica can't get
through the ropes in time and Enigma grabs her by the
hair!! This crowd is in an uproar and they want Enigma to
behead Veronica!!"
J.S.: "Get out of there Veronica! Enigma is in serious
trouble if she touches her!! Damnit get out of there!!"
T.R.: "Ohhhh!!! Enigma just scooped her up and crushed her
with a backbreaker!! Veronica is writhing in pain on the
mat as Enigma stands triumphantly over her! This crowd is
electric!"
V.A.: "And here comes the calvary!! Minion, the two masked
men, and JC is bringing up the rear! Look out Enigma!"
T.R.: "Don't tell me they're gonna attack her!"
J.S.: "They're gonna give her what she deserves, a good
kick in the ass!!"
TONY ROSS: "Enigma is not backing down!! All four men have
her surrounded!! JC orders the two masked men, who are
supposedly King Krusher and Maelstrom, and they grab
Enigma, but she is struggling mightily! JC then tells
Minion to pull Nevada up!! Ohh!! JC with a kick square in
the jaw of Nevada! What a coward!! The man is unconscious!!"
VICTOR ALVAREZ: "Big Rodge has gotten back to his feet and
he's going to join the fun as he puts the boots to Nevada!
JC kicks at him as well!!"
T.R.: "This is disgusting, let's get some help in here!!"
J.S.: "This is entertainment, Ross! I'm having a ball
watching this!!"
T.R.: "Garbage is raining on the ring as the two masked men
continue to hold Enigma, and they force her to her knees to
watch this travesty! Wait!! Here comes Wayne Roberts!!
Roberts has a chair!! He hits the ring with a fury and
Minion is the first to get rocked in the head!! One masked
men takes a shot and JC bails out!! Rodge kicks the chair
out of Roberts hands and now they are brawling!! The
other masked man tries to subdue Roberts but he's fighting
hard!!"
V.A.: "Nevada Smith is somehow on his feet!! He's fighting
back and helping Roberts!!"
J.S.: "Come on, take these two clowns out already!!"
T.R. "Enigma just kicked Rodge in the back of the head and
he falls to the mat and rolls out!! Roberts and Nevada dump
one of the masked men over and the ring is cleared!!
Nevada, Roberts, and Enigma are standing tall and the New
Orleans crowd is eating it up!!"
J.S.: "Not only is Enigma in serious trouble, but now
Roberts is going to feel the wrath of the NEH!! I pity those
two ingrates!"
T.R.: "JC is literally screaming at the top of his lungs to
Enigma, threatening his cousin, but she just blows him off,
and Nevada makes an obscene gesture at him!! The NEH
collects their losses and they are leaving ringside!"
V.A.: "Roberts is asking for the mike!"
WAYNE ROBERTS: "You see, Nevada, we are not that different.
We DO have a common enemy!"
T.R.: "Nevada contemplates that for a moment and ohhhh!!!
He kicked Roberts in the stomach and piledrove him!! It
looks like he broke Roberts neck with that move! Nevada
wants no help from Roberts and even Enigma looks stunned!"
J.S.: "Good for that idiot! He should keep his nose out of
other people's business!"
V.A.: "JC's face just appeared on the video screen above
the ring entrance! He didn't waste no time getting to a
camera!"
JC: "(laughing) That's right Nevada, DIVIDE AND CONQUER has
become a grim reality, a beginning of your end! First we
DIVIDE, and then we CONQUER!!"
(The screen fades with JC laughing and the lights dim. A
laser image of the NEH logo is projected onto the ring from
above as Nevada and Enigma look on with disdain)
TONY ROSS: "I'll tell you what, JC definitely likes to get
the last word in! After hightailing it out of here, he
still has to make a threat to Nevada!"
JAKE SHADES: "That's a warning, Ross! Nevada got lucky
enough to leave the ring by his own power, but he won't
have that luxury in the future!"
T.R.: "Let's take it up to Paul!"
(The camera zooms in on Paul Kramer at mid-ring)
PAUL KRAMER: "In our other semi-final match, coming to the
ring," (CUE-UP: "Kill the President" by Offspring) "From
Parts Unknown, weighing in at 236lbs., NOBLE KALE!!"
(The crowd boos loudly as Kale walks slowly to the ring.
He appears calm and in deep thought)
P.K.: "And his opponent, from Miami, Florida, weighing in
at 260lbs., WAYNE ROBERTS!!"
(The crowd cheers as Roberts makes his way to the ring. He
looks very dissappointed as he favors his neck on the way
to the ring)
TONY ROSS: "Whoever wins this match will go on to face Big
Rodge in the Finals! Noble Kale had a First Round bye, but
after that match with Billy Matthews, he may be winded!
Roberts has gone through Minion and Hillbilly Ted to get
here, but was piledriven by Nevada Smith after trying to
help him against the NEH!"
VICTOR ALVAREZ: "This should be a pretty even match
considering the events of earlier tonight! Roberts is at a
psychological disadvantage after Nevada refused his help!"
J.S.: "Roberts is at a disadvantage because he SUCKS!"
T.R.: "You have to wonder if the newly returned Helix will
show up here! Roberts claimed he was his friend, and the
shocking turn of events earlier may have dissappointed
Roberts even more! I still can't believe Helix is now
aligned with the people that put him out!"
JAKE SHADES: "It's simple, Helix saw the light! He got
tired of pandering to these mindless idiots in the crowd,
and now is career will be back on top very soon!"
T.R.: "Kale has pieced together a formidable alliance by
adding Helix and also Nightshade to his ranks this evening!
Kale is kneeling in the corner and he's just staring at
Roberts here! Roberts is egging him to come to the middle
of the ring and fight! Kale gets up slowly and waves a hand
at Roberts, liek he doesn't even want to wrestle! Roberts
rushes him and Kale is ready and flips him right over the
ropes!! Roberts landed on his feet and he trips Kale and
pulls him out of the ring!!"
V.A.: "What a sequence that was, both wrestlers outsmarted
each other!"
J.S.: "Roberts has no brains, he just got lucky!"
T.R.: "Both men are exchanging rights and lefts here! Now
they're trading chops! Neither man is backing down! Kale
rakes Roberts eyes and sends him headfirst into the
railing!"
V.A.: "If you'll remember on the last Battleground, Kale
attacked Roberts after his match and gave him two Dogmas
onto a steel chair!"
VICTOR ALVAREZ: "That piledriver by Nevada Smith could have
really softened up that neck!"
JAKE SHADES: "And that means Roberts is leaving this match
on a stretcher!"
TONY ROSS: "It is questionable if Roberts should even be
wrestling after all these attacks on him! They are really
going at it on the floor though, and Kale sends Roberts
tumbling into the steel steps! Kale stares blankly out in
the crowd as the obscenities are hurled at him! he slowly
pulls Roberts up and rolls him into the ring! Kale
slingshots over the ropes with a legdrop!! Nice move!!"
V.A.: "Kale may come off as a brawler, but he is capable of
some spectacular high-flying moves!"
T.R.: "Kale has a chinlock on Roberts to wear him down
here! That neck of Roberts must be in serious pain here!
Kale wrenches on that hold like a vice as Roberts cries out
in pain!"
J.S.: "That's it! Call out for mommy you little baby! Kale
is gonna snap your neck like a twig and I hope you're
forced into retirement!"
T.R.: "Fans, we've seen the return of Sky, Gus Raekker and
Stone Wolf have entered the FWF, and we've seen some
spectacular matches, but the best is yet to come! We will
crown a new Cable TV Champion, and the National singles and
tag team titles will be on the line! Kale continues to lock
that hold on but Roberts is on one knee! He gets to a
standing position and tries to pry Kale off! Kale knees him
in the back and sends Roberts straight into the corner! He
bounces off and Kale hits a reverse neckbreaker!"
V.A.: "Kale knows exactly what he's doing in there! He is
going to punish the neck of Roberts until he submits or
is unconscious!"
J.S.: "Or DEAD!"
T.R.: "Stop it! Kale pins Roberts!! 1-2-Kickout! Roberts is
still in this one! Kale pulls him up and whips him in!
Roberts ducks under a clothesline and comes back off with a
flying shoulderblock!! Roberts can't capitalize because he
is really hurt! He is favoring that neck bigtime! Referee
Willie Bennett is checking Roberts to see if he can
continue and Roberts isn't going anywhere!"
J.S.: "Roberts ought to know what's good for him and get
out of there before he gets killed! It's bad enough the NEH
is gonna bury him, let alone what Kale is going to do!"
V.A.: "Roberts is in control but still in serious trouble,
he can hardly move his neck! That Nevada Smith piledriver
may have been the icing on the cake!"
T.R.: "Roberts gets to his feet and so does Kale! Kale
takes a roundhouse shot but Roberts ducks, spins Kale
around and atomic drops him!! He follows quickly with a
sleeper!! Kale fights it maniacally!! He backs Roberts full
force into the turnbuckles!! The hold is broken and both
men fall down! Kale gets up and goes to the top rope! he
waits for Roberts to get up and leaps with a body press!
Roberts catches him and powerslams him!! 1-2-Ohhh!!! The
crowd thought he had him and so did I!"
V.A.: "Kale came very close to losing this match with that
flying body press! Roberts is hanging in there!"
TONY ROSS: "Roberts has trouble getting up as he rubs his
neck! He pulls Kale to his feet and hits a Russian Leg
Sweep!! That hurt Roberts own neck!"
JAKE SHADES: "That dummy! He's gonna put himself out of the
match! Throw in the towel Roberts, you're through!"
T.R.: "Roberts is showing me and the rest of the world his
guts here, because he does not have to wrestle this match
in the condition he's in and I wouldn't blame him!"
J.S.: "Malec and Lebron don't pay him enough to take this
abuse! I say it's not worth it, but I do like seeing
Roberts suffer!"
T.R.: "Roberts drops a knee to the head of Kale and turns
him over and applies a camel clutch! He doesn't have it
cinched quite right, because Kale is fighting it off! But
it is enough to make it very painful telling from Kale's
yelling!"
V.A.: "This is smart move by Roberts! He's wearing Kale
down so he can't go after that neck!"
J.S.: "Roberts is only delaying the inevitable end of his
career!"
T.R.: "Kale manages to extend his arm to break the hold!
Willie Bennett pulls Roberts off and Roberts has a few
choice words for him and Bennett answers back! Don't mess
with Willie! Roberts brings his attention back to Kale and
kicks him in the back of the head a few times before
pulling him up! He slams Kale down and charges off the
ropes with an elbow but Kale rolls out of the way! Kale
uses the ropes to get up as Roberts rushes him and kale
ducks! Roberts goes right through the ropes and out!!"
V.A.: "Roberts went head first into the railing and that
could be it for his neck! Roberts can't even get up here!
He is in agony!"
J.S.: "Awww, my heart bleeds for him! You better stay out
there and take the countout Roberts, because Kale is gonna
finish you off right now!"
T.R.: "Kale isn't going to wait for him and he's going out
after him! He's like a shark that smells blood! Kale is
having trouble getting Roberts to his feet because Roberts
is curled up in a ball in serious pain! Kale gets him up
finally and rolls him back into the ring! He pulls Roberts
up and hits a swinging necakbreaker!! 1-2-No!!! How did
Roberts kick out of that!!?"
V.A.: "That is incredible! Roberts is showing some serious
fight here!"
J.S.: "He's showing incredible stupidity! Just let him pin
you Roberts and save your career! Wait, I don't want that!!
Kill him Kale, kill him!!"
T.R.: "Roberts is fighting him off as he gets dragged to
his feet!! Lefts, rights and a big haymaker sends Kale to
the mat!! Roberts drops to his knees in agony and takes a
quick breather!"
V.A.: "He won't have much time because Kale is already
recovered!"
T.R.: "But Roberts kicks him in the stomach and hits a
double arm DDT!! Where in the world did that come from!!?"
VICTOR ALVAREZ: "Roberts is unable to pin him!! He is in
pure agony here!"
TONY ROSS: "Roberts may have had this match locked up, but
he can't pin him! Wait, he throws an arm over Kale!!
1-2-Noooo!!! Kale was able to kick out!! Roberts waited too
long!"
JAKE SHADES: "All right Kale, enough fooling around! Get up
and put this punk away for good!"
T.R.: "Roberts gets up and pulls Kale up slowly! He hooks
him for a suplex! Kale blocks! He tries again and Kale
blocks again!! Kale lifts him up with a cradle and drops
the Dogma!! Right on Roberts neck!! Forget it!! 1-2-3!!
There was no way Roberts was going to kick out of that!!"
V.A.: "What a valiant fight by Roberts though, his neck was
seriously injured, but he was still able to give Kale a
tough match! But at what price!? Roberts' neck may be broken
after that Dogma! It's just taken too much punishment in
the past few weeks!"
J.S.: "Fans, we are witnessing the termination of a
sorry-ass wrestling career! Let us have a moment of silence
for Wayne Roberts!! Ha ha ha, screw that!! So long Wayne!!"
T.R.: "You make me sick, a man's career may have ended
tonight and you are applauding it!"
J.S.: "Call in the meat wagon!! Ha ha ha!!"
V.A.: "Here comes the paramedics and Roberts hasn't moved
since getting drilled with the Dogma! Kale has already left
ringside as the New Orleans EMTs enter the ring!"
T.R.: "They're going to stabilize Robert's neck on that
stretcher with that neck brace! They strap him in and take
him out of the ring, and the fans here in New Orleans
applaud Roberts for his effort tonight!"
J.S.: "They're applauding because they don't have to see
Roberts anymore!"
T.R.: "OK, they're taking Roberts down the aisle to an
awaiting ambulance, and we can only hope that he will be OK
and back to wrestle here in the FWF! Shades, what are you
doing?"
(The camera switches to the three announcers at ringside as
Shades has a load of the new FWF action figures spread over
his side of the table. Shades has a Pop Culture's
Superhero figure beating the crap out of a Jean Rabesque
figure)
J.S.: "I'm giving a demonstration of what is going to
happen tonight! OK, Rabesque will think he's winning
(crack) (smack), but then PCS makes an amazing recovery and
slaps the taste out of Frenchy's mouth! (smack) He then
slaps on the Down-Right Refreshing Sleeper and puts this
clown away for good! But wait! Here comes Beau
Michaels!!"
(Shades has the Michaels doll come in from the side and
jump on the Rabesque figure's back and he starts ramming
the Michael's figure into the Rabesque figure's rearend.
The camera fades to Paul Kramer standing at mid-ring and
the announcers are silent)
PAUL KRAMER: "Our next match is for the FWF National Tag
Team Titles!! First, coming to the ring, the challengers,"
(CUE-UP: "Shapes of Things" by the Jeff Healy Band) "From
Detroit, Michigan, weighing in at 289lbs., ROB ANTHONY!!
His partner, from Indianapolis, Indiana, weighing in at
235lbs., STEVE LEWISTON!! They are the Mercenaries!"
(The crowd cheers as the team makes their way to ringside,
with Lewsiston slapping hands and Anthony staring straight
ahead looking like a psycho)
P.K.: "And their opponents," (CUE-UP: "Millenium" by
Killing Joke) "From Wichita, Kansas, at a combined weight
of 505lbs., the FWF National Tag Team Champions, CONDOR AND
FALCON, THE BIRDS OF PREY!!"
(The crowd cheers as the champs come running to the ring,
slapping hands all the way down)
TONY ROSS: "These two teams are no stranger to each other,
they have been battling for years!"
JAKE SHADES: "And they get even more boring every time! I
wish the Birds got blown away in that tornado in Wichita!
I'm gonna go take a leak!"
(Shades gets up and leaves the table)
T.R.: "What a terrible thing to say! To the fans in
Wichita, I apologize for that ignorant comment and the good
thing is Shades went to the bathroom!"
V.A.: "The Birds were doing a lot of volunteer work in
South Wichita where that deadly tornado struck last week,
the same day Oklahoma City was hit!"
T.R.: "The Birds are a credit to the profesion for some of
the work they have been doing in Kansas! In the ring, a lot
of trash-talking is going on, and fan support is split
right down the middle! All four men being exchanging rights
and lefts! Rob Anthony presses Condor high into the air and
throws him halfway across the ring while Falcon dropkicks
Lewiston over the ropes! Falcon then tries a body press on
Anthony but the big Mercenary catches him and implant slams
him!! Wow!! I guess it will be Anthony and Falcon!"
V.A.: "That wasn't the wisest of moves there by Falcon! You
really have to wear Anthony down before trying a move like
that on Rob Anthony!"
T.R.: "Anthony has gotten even more and more psycho in the
past few months, and Steve Lewiston might be the only one
that can control him!"
V.A.: "Speaking of Lewiston, he has finally returned to the
apron after that Falcon dropkick!"
T.R.: "Wow, this is really nice without Shades to rip on
these two fine tag teams! Anthony pounds on the back of
Falcon before he hits a double underhook suplex! He pulls
Falcon up easily and hits a kneelift! He tags Lewiston in
and Anthony holds Falcon and Lewiston comes off the top
rope with a knee to the back!"
V.A.: "It's clear that the Mercs are going to target the
back of Falcon here to wear him down! Although I think
taking out the legs would be the better strategy!"
T.R.: "We all know the high-flying prowess of the Birds!
Lewiston takes over and hits a backbreaker! The Mercs are
working with a keen precision here!"
TONY ROSS: "Lewiston covers! 1-2-kickout! Lewiston drags
Falcon to his feet and whips him in and ducks down! Falcon
flips over him and rolls him up with a sunset flip!!
1-2-No! Anthony comes in and levels Falcon with a
clothesline, and that stopped that surge by Falcon!"
VICTOR ALVAREZ: "He almost decapitated Falcon with that
clothesline, and the Mercs may have a new point of attack
now!"
T.R.: "Nope, Lewiston goes right to the back with a
kneedrop! Condor wants in badly! Falcon tries diving at him
but Lewiston grabs his legs and drags him back to the
corner! He tags in Anthony! Anthony comes in with a
crushing axehandle! Anthony mounts the second turnbuckle
and comes down with another double axehandle! Falcon cries
out in pain as his back is getting some serious punishment!"
V.A.: "The Mercs have always had a slow punishing style,
while the Birds are known for their fast-paced high-flying
style! Which one will win out is yet to be seen!"
T.R.: "Anthony drags Falcon to his feet and tries a suplex
but Falcon rolls him up!! 1-2-No!! He really caught Anthony
by surprise! He's in a rage but Falcon drops down with a
single-leg takedown and Anthony goes face-first into the
tuirnbuckle!! Great move by Falcon! Falcon begins crawling
to the corner as Condor reaches as far as he can for the
tag! Anthony tries to grab him but to no avail! Condor
comes in and dropkicks Anthony down! Condor rushes to the
corner and he knocks Lewiston to the floor! Falcon goes for
a Lou Thesz press on Anthony but he caught him!! Condor
unleashes a flurry of punches on Anthony and he collapses
with Condor on top!! 1-2-No!!"
V.A.: "Condor has turned it up a notch here and it's really
frustrating Rob Anthony! Steve Lewsiton tries to get back
in for some revenge but Willie Bennett stops him!"
T.R.: "Condor is in there with a much larger and much
stronger man and he has to stay on the quick offensive!
Falcon with a flurry of chops that sends Anthony into the
corner! Falcon gets on top and starts pounding on Anthony's
head as the fans count along!! Wait!! Anthony grabs him and
powerbombs him off!! Wow!!"
V.A.: "But Anthony just falls back and takes a breather
with no attempt to pin Condor! He reaches out for Lewiston
and makes the tag!"
T.R.: "Lewiston is in and he pulls Condor up and whips him
in for an armdrag! No, it's reversed! Condor flips Lewiston
over! Lewiston right back up and into a Condor clothesline!
Condor is on fire here! He is really riled up! Condor whips
Lewiston in and hits a high backdrop! He's going up top!! He
waits for Lewiston to get up!! Moonsault!! He nails it!!
1-2-Anthony breaks it up!!"
V.A.: "A spectacular move there by Condor almost retained
the titles for the Birds! Condor shakes off Anthony's boot
and tags in Falcon!"
T.R.: "Falcon comes in energized and drops Lewiston with a
big right and hits a splash!! 1-2-Kickout! Falcon picks him
up and rolls him up for a pin!! 1-2-Lewiston reverses it!!
1-2-No!! Both men are up at the same time and they both hit
clotheslines!! What action!"
V.A.: "These guys are throwing everything they have at each
other! Not only are the titles on the line, but pride is on
the line in this long running feud!"
TONY ROSS: "Lewiston manages to get up first but Falcon is
ready and he rolls him up!! 1-2-No!! Falcon springs to his
feet and armdrags Lewiston! He follows it up with a side
headlock!"
VICTOR ALVAREZ: "Falcon is going to slow it down a bit
here! He's going to try and wear Lewiston down before
trying to finish him off!"
T.R.: "Falcon's got him hooked in the middle of the ring!
Oh great, he's back!!"
(Rustling is heard as Shades puts his headset back on)
JAKE SHADES: "Isn't this damn match over yet!? Oooo, he's
got a headlock on, how exciting!"
T.R.: "You just missed some great action while you were
relieving yourself!"
J.S.: "I didn't miss nothin'! But I know what you guys
missed! I jsut watched Roberts get hauled out of here in
the meat wagon! I saw nothing but a flatline on that heart
meter in there!"
T.R.: "That's enough Shades, you wished death upon Roberts
quite enough!"
J.S.: "I can't help it, the guy annoys me! But what is
funny, Noble Kale took care of Roberts for the NEH, and the
NEH thanks him! But you never know, JC might send somebody
to the hospital to finish the job!"
T.R.: "Fans, please ignore Jake Shades' idiotic update on
Wayne Roberts' condition! We obviously can't trust him as
far as we can throw him! Lewiston has fought out of the
headlock and both men are exchanging punches! Lewiston gets
the better of Falcon and applies a headlock, but Falcon
pushes him into the ropes, but Lewiston comes off with a
shoulderblock! Lewiston goes to the other ropes and Condor
kicks him right in the back! Lewiston tries to get at
Condor, but he drops off the apron and laughs at him!!
Falcon rolls him up from behind!! 1-2-No!! Close!!"
V.A.: "Condor baited him into the corner and Falcon rolled
Lewiston up and almost retained the titles again! The Mercs
have to keep their cool here because the Birds can beat you
six ways to Sunday!"
J.S.: "This IS Sunday, moron, and it seems like Monday the
way this match is dragging on! Come on, somebody pin
somebody here!"
T.R.: "Falcon tags Condor in and Lewiston drops him with a
boot to the face and tags Anthony in! Here comes the
powerhouse! Anthony comes in and gorilla presses Condor!
Condor flew like his namesake there! Anthony pulls him
right back up and hits a gutwrench suplex! A cover!!
1-2-Kickout! Anthony gets on top and starts pummeling
Condor! But Falcon comes in and dropkicks him from behind
in the back!"
J.S.: "Falcon does everything from the back!"
T.R.: "Anthony is enraged and goes after Falcon and this is
a mistake because it's allowing Condor to recover here!
Anthony turns and walks right into an enziguiri kick!!
Condor flips on top of Anthony and grabs the legs and rolls
him up!! 1-2-No!! Anthony kicks out forcefully! Anthony is
up quickly as Falcon is tagged in! Falcon baseball slides
right into Anthony's shin and he collapses in a heap!!"
VICTOR ALVAREZ: "That's one way to get the big man down!"
TONY ROSS: "Falcon dives on top of Anthony!! 1-2-No!!
Lewiston made the save! Lewiston is brawling with Falcon
now and in comes Condor! Anthony catches Condor with a
clothesline and he pulls him up and powerbombs him!! Falcon
just hit a DDT on Lewiston!! Lewiston and Condor are being
pinned!! Willie Bennett doesn't know what to do!! He
counts 1...2...3!! Who gets the win here!!? Falcon and
Anthony are both celebrating, they both think they won!!"
V.A.: "Lewiston and Condor were both not legal! Neither pin
should have counted but Bennett still made the count! Who
is he going to give it to!"
J.S.: "Just give it to somebody and get these guys out of
here!"
T.R.: "He gives the decision to the Mercenaries!! I don't
know about this one guys! Half the fans are cheering and
half are booing! The Birds can't believe it, but in
reality, neither team should have won because both guys
that got pinned were illegal!"
V.A.: "The Birds are vehemently protesting their case to
Bennett, but he is shaking his head, his decision is final!
The Mercenaries are the National Tag Team Champions!"
T.R.: "Wait a second, who is this!!? Hey, that's Middle
Aged and Crazy, Berserker Dave and his brother Richard
Allen!! They hit the ring and attack the Birds viciously!!
Bennett gets knocked out of the way! Berserker Dave grabs a
mike as he pounds lumps on Falcon!"
BERSERKER DAVE: "You dodging us you little bastards!? You
trying to get around the undefeated tag team here in the
FWF!? (Allen throws a chair to Dave and he proceeds to
whack both Falcon and Condor in the head with it) How did
that chair feel, bird brains!? We want you in the ring next
Battleground, got it!?"
T.R.: "Berseker Dave nails Falcon with a running powerbomb
and Rich Allen hits Condor with a tombstone piledriver!!
Wow!! Middle Aged and Crazy have made a statement here at
New Orleans! They didn't take too kindly to the Birds of
Prey's words a few weeks ago!"
J.S.: "It looks like Berserker Dave went out and got
himself an attitude! I like it!"
T.R.: "Middle Aged and Crazy just left the former tag team
champs laying! They are jockeying for position here in the
tag team scene of the FWF! OK, as the Birds recover and
leave the ring, take it away Paul!"
(The camera pans around the large crowd before zooming in
on Paul Kramer at mid-ring)
PAUL KRAMER: "Ladies and gentlemen, our next match is to
determine the first FWF Cable Television Champion!! First,
coming to the ring," (CUE-UP: "Kill the President" by
Offspring) "Coming to the ring, from Parts Unknown,
weighing in at 236lbs., NOBLE KALE!!"
(The crowd erupts with boos as Kale slowly makes his way to
the ring in deep thought. He hardly even notices the fans
at ringside as he rolls into the ring and kneels in the
corner)
P.K.: "And his opponent," (CUE-UP: "Holier Than Thou" by
Metallica) "From New York City, weighing in at 300lbs., BIG
RODGE!!"
(The crowd boos even louder as Rodge comes out of the
curtains and starts waving his arms in the air. Lady
Veronica is nowhere to be seen. Rodge stops a few times to
threaten some fans)
TONY ROSS: "This is it! This is the final match of the
Cable TV Title tournament, and what a difficult road it has
been tonight! Big Rodge has gone through Golem, Henry
Goldwire, and Nevada Smith to get here! Noble Kale has a
slight advantage with a bye, but he has had to go through
Billy Matthews and Wayne Roberts to get here, no pushovers!
That match with Matthews was incredible! We saw the return
of Helix AND D-XxX!"
VICTOR ALVAREZ: "Yes, that match was stunning all right!
But right now, these guys have to forget about everything
that has happened earlier and concentrate on what is on the
line here, the FWF's newest title!"
JAKE SHADES: "I like both of these guys a lot, but I'm
gonna have to go with Rodge on this one, because he is true
blue NEH!"
T.R.: "Nobody cares what you think! Lady Veronica is
inconspicuous in her absence here and we can only speculate
that the backbreaker she received from Enigma is the reason
why she isn't here! She really took a shot from Enigma!"
J.S.: "We all know that Enigma is a man in disguise, and
that's why Nevada Smith loves him/her so much! She reminds
him of his days in prison!"
T.R.: "I would just love to hear you say that to Nevada's
face! Then we wouldn't have to put up with you anymore!
Well, the pre-match feeling out process continues as Kale
and Rodge circle each other slowly! Kale stares blankly
into the crowd every once in awhile as some fans chant
"Kale Sucks!" They lock up and Rodge easily tosses him
away!"
V.A.: "Kale isn't going to win any tests of strength here!"
T.R.: "Kale is more of a high-flyer, and he needs to use
that to his advantage! Rodge is just too big and strong!
They lock up again and Kale gets a kick knee to the gut in
and he bulldogs Rodge down! Kale immediately jumps on top
of him and starts pounding away on his face! Ohh! That shot
to the nose really stunned Rodge! Willie Bennett pulls Kale
off and Bennett is warning him but Kale just stares blankly
at him!"
J.S.: "Bennett better keep his fat ass out of this match,
otherwise one of these guys is gonna kick him in the teeth!"
TONY ROSS: "Oh, he's doing his job Shades, come off it!
Kale pulls Rodge up by the hair and he says something
before whipping him in and he knees Rodge right in the
nose! Kale may have found his target!"
JAKE SHADES: "Yeah, now Rodge doesn't have to smell
Bennett's B.O.!"
T.R.: "Vic, you wouldn't happen to have a muzzle on you,
would you? Kale drops an elbow and covers! 1-2-No! He's got
to hook the leg! Rodge is able to get to his feet and
blocks Kale's punch and sends Kale reeling with a big chop
to the neck! Kale staggers into the corner and Rodge plows
into him full force with an avalanche! He throws Kale to
the mat by his head and covers! 1-2-No!"
VICTOR ALVAREZ: "Rodge is using his size advantage here,
and that will be a key in this match, becaus he's got Kale
beat by 70 pounds!"
J.S.: "And Vic, you almost got Rodge beat by 70 pounds!"
T.R.: "As opposed to your magnificent physique, right
Shades!? If your beer belly hung any more over your chair,
I might consider running for cover from the flabalanche!
Rodge is in control now as he whips Kale in and hits a huge
sidewalk slam! No cover, Rodge goes to the ropes and taunts
the fans before returning to Kale! He pulls Kale up by the
hair and gorilla presses him! Wow! He drops him neck first
on the ropes! Kale is in trouble!"
V.A.: "He dropped Kale from an incredible height, and that
may have done some serious damage to the throat! Kale rolls
out of the ring!"
T.R.: "Kale wisely escapes the ring, but Rodge is out after
him, and he grabs a chair! This is not wise on Rodge's
part! He's risking a DQ here! Whaoh!! Kale just savate
kicked the chair right into Rodge's face!"
J.S.: "That wouldn't have happened if Veronica was out
there!"
T.R.: "Yeah, she would have been the one with the chair!
She got what she deserved! We haven't seen her yet, so I
wouldn't doubt it if she came out! Rodge is lifeless on the
floor as Kale throws his hair back and collects himself! he
stares at a few fans yelling at him and he just shakes his
head! He pulls the big NEH member up and whips him into the
railing! Rodge went hipfirst!"
J.S.: "As much as I like Kale, this ain't gonna last! Rodge
is just too tough and can take a beating like this with no
problem!"
T.R.: "Big Rodge is in the best shape of his career I
believe! Kale drills Rodge in the face before sending him
tumbling over the ring steps! kale picks the ring steps up
and he's going to drop them on Rodge! No!! Rodge kicked him
in the shin and the steps fell right on Kale's head!"
V.A.: "Rodge was lucky he got that kick in, otherwise he
would have been sandwiched in between the falling steps and
the steel railing! And I think Kale is bleeding!"
T.R.: "Yes, I believe he is! Kale is lying in a heap under
the steps as Rodge slowly gets to his feet! Rodge throws
the steps off of Kale and pulls him up! He drops him neck
first on the railing, and Rodge is really hurting that
neck! We've already seen Wayne Roberts' neck practically
broken by Kale, so maybe Rodge will do the same!"
VICTOR ALVAREZ: "We still don't have an update on Roberts'
condition, do we!?"
JAKE SHADES: "Roberts died on the way to the hospital as
his ambulance crashed off Interstate 610 into that bus!"
TONY ROSS: "What a truly, truly tasteless statement Shades,
you continue to sink to all-time lows! To the citizens of
New Orleans and the families of those victims of the bus
crash, I apologize! Jerk! Rodge dumps Kale back in the ring
and he's mounting the turnbuckles!! He doesn't go up there
too often but when he does, it's devastating! Flying body
press!! No!! Kale carries the momentum over!! 1-2-Ohhhh!!
So close!!"
V.A.: "Kale almost secured the Cable TV Title right there
with a great reversal, or was it just a simple case of
momentum!?"
J.S.: "It was a simple case of Rodge squishing Kale like a
bug so hard, that Kale squirted out from under him!"
T.R.: "Rodge is angry as he pulls Kale up by the hair and
hooks him for a suplex!! He turns it into a gourdbuster and
lays Kale out on his stomach! Rodge comes off the ropes and
splashes Kale's backside! Wow! Rodge just kneels above Kale
and stares out at the crowd yelling at them!"
J.S.: "Come on Rodge, pin him, don't screw around with this
guy!"
T.R.: "Rodge rolls him over and finally covers! 1-2-No! He
didn't hook the leg either!"
V.A.: "Rodge's ego is getting the best of him here! He's
been worried about fan reaction all night and is not
concentrating on his opponents!"
J.S.: "I don't know why he's worried about these
slack-jawed yokels! I think if you put all the teeth in
this arena together, you can possibly get through one
Porterhouse steak without gumming half of it!"
T.R.: "Shades of course is talking about this huge throng
of fans that have gathered here at the Superdome that pay
his salary week after week! Rodge has Kale in a side
headlock and he's really exterting pressure on that neck!
Kale may not be able to escape this! Whoah!! Kale somehow
back suplexed out of it! That took some exceptional
strength!"
V.A.: "Yes, but it really drained Kale, he can hardly move!"
T.R.: "If Rodge recovers, this could be it for Kale! Both
of these men have had very long nights, and their
exceptional endurance is a credit to the sport, even though
I disagree with their attitudes! Kale has shocked the FWF
by adding Helix and Nightshade to his roster tonight, and
we may yet still see them!"
V.A.: "Helix just smartened up that's all! You can't make a
career out of kissing the asses of peons!"
T.R.: "Which you are the expert of! Rodge is up first and
drags Kale to his feet! Belly to back suplex with
authority!! Rodge slashes his fingers across his neck and
he's signalling that it's over! He's going up for the
Rodgebomb inverted splash!! He's up top and leaps!! Ohhh!!!
Kale got his knees up!! Kale got his knees up! Rodge is
sucking some serious wind here!"
VICTOR ALVAREZ: "That could be the big break that Kale
needs here! Rodge is really hurt! All Kale has to do is hit
the Dogma if he can get Rodge up!"
TONY ROSS: "Kale gets to his feet and he kicks Rodge in the
head before pulling him up! He whips Rodge in! Rodge
reverses the opposite way right into Willie Bennett!! They
knocked heads there! Rodge flattens Kale with a
clothesline! Now he's waving to the back! Don't tell me the
troops are coming out! It's Lady Veronica, and she's
favoring her back badly as she comes to the ring with that
infamous Pandora bamboo cane!"
V.A.: "You know what comes next!"
J.S.: "El Kabong!! Ha ha!!"
T.R.: "Rodge pulls a prone Kale up and holds him for
Veronica! Veronica rears back and swings and ohhhh!!!! Kale
ducked!! Veronica clonked Rodge right on top of the head
and he collapses like he was shot!! Here comes Enigma!
Enigma pulls Veronica off the apron and Veronica spins and
flattens Enigma square in the jaw with the cane!! Wow!!"
J.S.: "Turnabout is fair play, that beast got what was
comin' to her!! Good job, Veronica, now shove it up her ass
and turn her into a human popsicle stick!!"
T.R.: "Now she's beating Enigma over the head with it!! But
she turns and Bennett is counting!! 1-2-3!!! Kale had the
presence of mind to fall on Rodge, and Bennett recovered to
make the count!! Veronica is incensed!!"
V.A.: "Here comes Nevada Smith!!"
T.R.: "The crowd explodes at his arrival!! He comes
charging at Veronica and he grabs the stick away from her!!
He threatens to smack her with it as he stands over the
prone Enigma!! Veronica is in mortal fear!! Rodge is out
and can't protect her!!"
J.S.: "Yeah, but here comes the boys!! Kick this wannabe
hard ass biker's rearend in!! Yeah!!!"
V.A.: "Minion and the two masked men have hit the scene and
they attack Nevada from behind!!"
T.R.: "Nevada may be out of friends here after turning down
Wayne Roberts' help earlier! Jean Rabesque may be
busy preparing for his National Title match! Wait!! Noble
Kale is out of the ring and attacking them!! Rodge is out
there too! He grabs Kale from behind and DDTs him on the
concrete!! Wow!! A little revenge for Rodge!! All 4 members
of the NEH and Lady Veronica are pounding on Kale and
Smith!!"
V.A.: "Look at Veronica go to town on Nevada and Enigma
with the canes!"
J.S.: "Yeah!! Take it to em babe! God, I love a woman that
can defend herself!"
T.R.: "No wonder women clean your clock all the time!
Wait!! Here comes Isz, Big Hillbilly Ted, and Nightshade!!
They come and run full force into the NEH to protect Kale!!
What a brawl we have going here! All 8 men are fighting
back to the locker rooms now as security pours in!!"
V.A.: "Look at this! Kale and Nevada have gotten up at the
same time and they're exchanging words! I wonder what
they're saying!"
TONY ROSS: "Nevada just yelled "I don't need yer friggin'
help" and he nails Kale with some huge rights and Kale
answers back!! How Kale can still fight is amazing to me!!
Kale and Nevada are tearing into each other like rabid
wolves as Enigma tries to pull them apart!!":
VICTOR ALVAREZ: "And here comes some more security to break
this up!"
T.R.: "Security succeeds as Kale and Nevada continue to hurl
insults at each other and ohh!! Nevada just spit at Kale
right in the face and Kale is enraged! Wait! The lights are
out! What next!? The video screen lights up and there is
that troublemaker JC's image!"
JC: "That'r right, Nevada, DIVIDE AND CONQUER!! First we
DIVIDE, then we CONQUER!! Ha ha ha ha ha!! (JC puffs his
Havana Empress. The lights come back on and the image
dissolves)
T.R.: "Nevada and Kale just stare up at the video screen
and security hauls them out! Well fans, after all that, we
have our first FWF Cable Television Champion, Noble Kale!
That bye in the First Round may have made all the
difference, but so did Lady Veronica's bamboo cane!"
J.S.: "Even though Big Rodge lost, I'm just glad Veronica
was able to get some revenge against that tattooed scumbag
and his Pandorian biker bimbo! You DO NOT mess with that
woman, by no means! And Big Rodge will have his revenge on
Noble Kale! Kale, I like you, but ya got lucky tonight!
Next time, things will be different!"
T.R.: "Are you done rambling!? We have a National Title
match to get to!"
J.S.: "P........C........Sssssssssssss!!!!!!"
(The camera dissolves from the announcers to a panoramic
shot of the inside of the Louisiana Superdome. The camera
pans across all the fans and goes to the video screen, and
zooms in until the video screen fills the camera shot. An
image of the National belt and the U.S Frontier belt
sitting next to it is shown)
V/O: "For 8 months, the Frontier Wrestling Federation
National Heavyweight Title has been the most hotly
contested championship in wrestling. There have been only
two champions, Helix and Pop Culture's Superhero. There
have also been only two United States Frontier Champions,
Berserker Dave and Jean Rabesque. Tonight, the number one
contender, the Frontier champion will collide with the
National Champion in a steel cage, a battle of titleholders
that will define who is the number one man in wrestling.
(Conflicting images of Pop Culture's Superhero and Jean
Rabesque are shown in sequences) The event is Divide and
Conquer, the battleground is New Orleans, Louisiana! Let
the Clash of the Titans begin!!"
(The crowd explodes as fireworks shoot up from all four
sides of the ring and lasers and multi-colored spotlights
shoot all over the arena. The cage lowers and touches down,
setting off a blinding explosion that rocks the Superdome.
The fan reaction hits a frenzy as a lone spotlight focuses
on Paul Kramer in the middle of the ring)
PAUL KRAMER: "Ladies and gentleman, the thousands in
attendance and the millions watching at home.....ARE YOU
READY FOR THE MAIN EVENT!!??" (Crowd is deafening)
"This is a Steel Cage Match for the FWF National
Title!!" First, the challenger," (CUE-UP: "Shapes of
Things" by the Jeff Healy Band) "From Montreal, Quebec,
Canada, weighing in at 245lbs., the FWF United States
Frontier Champion, JEAN RABESQUE!!"
(The crowd explodes as Rabesque emerges from the curtain
and smiles at the gigantic crowd. The Frontier belt sits
proudly on his shoulders and he's wearing a beautiful robe.
He walks briskly to the ring and slaps a few hands and
climbs into the cage. He raises the Frontier belt high
above his head and the crowd reacts)
P.K.: "And his opponent," (CUE-UP: "Sell Out" by Reel Big
Fish) "From Los Angeles, California, weighing in at
255lbs., the FWF National Heavyweight Champion, POP
CULTURE'S SUPERHERO!! He is accompanied by the Lost Hanson!)
(One of the loudest eruption of boos for a wrestler ever
heard issues forth from the Superdome crowd, and PCS enjoys
every minute of it as he walks to the ring with his belt
around his waist, pretending to slap people's hands
and acting generally silly. The Lost Hanson is in tow, with
a Pepsi in one hand, and a Sprint PCS phone in another. PCS
enters the cage and makes a hand motion to his ears and the
crowd boos even louder. PCS is wearing an even gaudier robe
than Rabesque, in red white and blue Pepsi colors with the
swirl on his back. PCS takes the belt off and hands it to
Willie Bennett)
TONY ROSS: "Fans, it just can't get any louder in here! The
crowd here in the Crescent City has been whipped into a
frenzy after all the events of tonight! This FWF Supercard
has blown all past events away and has set the standard for
wrestling today! And now, the highlight of the evening, the
main event!"
VICTOR ALVAREZ: "Tony, we have the brash, cocky, and
commercial Pop Culture's Superhero against the clean-cut,
rule abiding French-Canadian Jean Rabesque! These two are
polar opposites in attitude and style!"
JAKE SHADES: "Yeah, PCS has actual TALENT!"
TONY ROSS: "These two are very evenly matched physically,
and this should be a classic! They will go at it in a
covered steel cage, which means no interference from the
Lost Hanson, or even Beau Michaels!"
VICTOR ALVAREZ: "That is a key point, Tony! Rabesque will
be free to concentrate on Rabesque and not worry about
Hanson at ringside!"
J.S.: "And PCS will prove that he needs no help and he is
the ultimate champion, and Rabesque is the ultimate
meatball!"
T.R.: "The bell rings and here we go!! The main event of
FWF Divide and Conquer '99!! The crowd is electric as the
two top wrestlers in the FWF are at mid-ring trash-talking!
PCS is smiling and insulting Rabesque while the Frontier
Champion calmly tells him to back off! Rabesque pushes him!
PCS pushes back! Rabesque smiles and begins to circle as
does PCS! They lock it up and PCS hits an armdrag! That
caught Rabesque by surprise! PCS is now strutting around
and he goes over to the edge of the cage as Hanson
congratulates him!"
V.A.: "We're barely into this match and PCS is already in a
winning celebration!"
J.S.: "It's all elementary boys, it's all elementary! PCS
is just too much for the Queer from Quebec!"
T.R.: "Rabesque, the consumate professional, just stares at
PCS and waits patiently for PCS' return to center ring!
They lock up again and this time Rabesque slaps on a
headlock! Rabesque cinches it in and PCS tries to push off
but nothing doing! Rabesque keeps it on to the delight of
the crowd! Rabesque continues to wrench and PCS tries to
back suplex out but to no avail!"
V.A.: "Rabesque is determined to keep this headlock on!"
J.S.: "Yeah, because he knows if he lets go, PCS is gonna
dance circles around him!"
T.R.: "Rabesque jacks PCS in the jaw and releases the hold!
Snap mare by Rabesque into a chinlock, and Rabesque buries
that knee into PCS' back, making escape virtually
impossible! PCS screams out in pain as Bennett checks in on
him! PCS screams "no" as Rabesque continues to apply
pressure! Rabesque hammers PCS in the chest and brings him
to his feet and slams him down! Rabesque with an elbow but
PCS rolls out of the way! PCS tries his own elbow and
Rabesque gets out of the way this time!! Rabesque stands up
and wipes the sweat off his brow right at PCS! PCS slaps
the rope in anger!"
V.A.: "Rabesque will just try and frustrate the champion
and make him lose his temper, so he makes mistakes!
Rabesque is very patient and will wait for PCS to lose it!"
J.S.: "Are you kidding!? PCS is calm, cool, and collected,
he's just letting Rabesque get cocky before he kicks all
his teeth in! This is the National Champ we're talking
about here!"
T.R.: "PCS charges Rabesque and hits a nice single leg
takedown and Rabesque falls flat on his face! PCS quickly
on top and he wrenches the neck back in almost a camel
clutch! PCS didn't hook the arms though!"
VICTOR ALVAREZ: "We're seeing a lot of submission holds
here, and it's obvious that these two wrestlers want to
wear each other down first!"
TONY ROSS: "PCS continues to ride back on Rabesque's neck
but Rabesque yells out that he is not submitting! PCS slaps
Rabesque in the back of the head and releases the hold! He
boots the boots to Rabesque's back and pulls him up! PCS
rams Rabesque head first into that steel cage!"
JAKE SHADES: "I want to see that frog bleed!! Slice him up
PCS!!"
T.R.: "The Lost Hanson looks on with glee and laughter as
he taunts Rabesque who is getting his face grinded into the
cage! Bennett pulls PCS away and PCS pushes him! Bennett
pushes back and PCS hits the floor!! I said it once and
I'll say it again, don't mess with Willie!"
J.S.: "And I said it once and I'll say it again, he's gonna
get his fat ass kicked in if he doesn't keep his hands off
the wrestlers! I don't care how big he is!"
T.R.: "Well the wrestlers have to lay off him! PCS says
something to Bennett before going back to the attack! Again
he rams Rabesque's face into the steel mesh surrounding the
ring! Remember, this cage is covered, no one gets in and no
one gets out!"
V.A.: "PCS is really using that cage to his advantage here!"
T.R.: "PCS picks Rabesque up and throws him headfirst into
the cage like a lawn dart! Wow! PCS showing impressive
power there! PCS pulls Rabesque up and he laughs at the
crowd and points at Rabesque and slaps him in the face!
That revives Rabesque and he slaps back! PCS kicks and it's
blocked!! Rabesque spins him around and hits a thunderous
atomic drop which sends PCS headfirst into the cage!! He
rebounds right into a Rabesque German suplex and bridge!!
1-2-Ohhh!!! Almost a new champion there!"
V.A.: "PCS' fooling around cost him there, as Rabesque
almost took that coveted title from him!"
T.R.: "PCS has had a virtual stranglehold on that title
ever since winning it from Helix in Detroit in January! I
wonder if Helix is looking for revenge with his new group
and new attitude!?"
J.S.: "Well, PCS ain't losing it tonight, and I don't think
Helix can beat him in a rematch, hell, I don't think
anybody can beat PCS!"
T.R.: "What about your beloved NEH!?"
J.S.: "Oh...well....I never thought of that. That's a
different story."
T.R.: "Whatever! Rabesque is pumped now as he hits PCS with
a reverse neckbreaker and covers!! 1-2-No!! Rabesque gets
up quickly and he grabs PCS' leg and starts twisting and
torquing it, softening it up for the figure four!"
J.S.: "The weakest finisher in wrestling today! The Down
Right Refreshing Sleeper is FAR superior!"
V.A.: "That's if he can even get it on Rabesque!"
J.S.: "Oh he will, Vicky, he will!"
TONY ROSS: "Rabesque continues to wear down that leg as the
fans cheer him on! Ragesque drops his elbow on PCS' knee
and that warrants a scream from the champ! The Lost Hanson
at ringside continues his annoying stream of encouragement
to his friend in the ring! Rabesque drops another elbow and
this time he stays down and drills his elbow into PCS'
knee!"
VICTOR ALVAREZ: "He's rubbing it right on that soft spot on
the side of the knee! PCS must be in agony!"
T.R.: "Rabesque drops yet another elbow on PCS' knee and
PCS grabs the ropes which forces Rabesque away! Bennett
allows PCS time to get up, but Rabesque moves in and kicks
PCS' leg out from under him! PCS lands on the back of his
head and Rabesque goes for the figure four!! No!! PCS kicks
him away!!"
J.S.: "Thataway champ!! Don't let him slap that sissy hold
on ya!"
T.R.: "PCS hobbles to his feet and avoids a Rabesque kick
and dives at Rabesque and clotheslines him down!! This will
buy the champ some time here! He is really hurt!"
V.A.: "Rabesque may have taken away his abiltiy to stand
here!"
T.R.: "PCS gets up in agony and kicks Rabesque in the jaw
with his good leg! He pulls Rabesque up and rakes the eyes
before depositing him to the mat with a slam! He could
hardly lift Rabesque after easily hoisting him earlier! PCS
drops an elbow to the throat and now he's driving elbows
right into Rabesque's nose!"
J.S.: "And look at the snot flow from that French clown's
nose! Ha ha!!"
T.R.: "Why must you be so disgusting!? PCS drags Rabesque
up and whips him in! He shoulderblocks Rabesque down and
comes off the ropes with a knee!! he's injured knee!! That
hurt PCS more than it hurt Rabesque!! PCS is rolling on the
mat in agony!"
V.A.: "The heat of the moment may have made PCS temporarily
forget about the pain!"
J.S.: "PCS is a trooper, he can take this easily! Come on
champ, put this guy away so we can go to Bourbon Street
tonight and see some...."
T.R.: "PCS somehow manages to get to his feet and kicks at
Rabesque in frustation! Rabesque gets to his feet and PCS
grabs him and hits an inverted atomic drop! He flattens
Rabesque with a short clothesline!! He goes for the Down
Right Refreshing Dragon Sleeper!! No!! Rabesque gets to the
ropes almost immediately!!"
V.A.: "Rabesque was very close to the ropes as it was, so I
don't think the hold would have been effective for too
long!"
T.R.: "Both men get to their feet and Rabesque kicks him
right in the injured knee!! PCS hits the mat like a bomb!
Rabesque grabs the legs and quickly slaps on the figure
four!! It's on!! The figure four is on!! But PCS is
somewhat close to the ropes!! He has a chance to break
this!!"
V.A.: "Come on Champ!! You can reach....Come on!!"
T.R.: "PCS falls right on his back!! Bennett raises his
arms once, TWICE..........."
TONY ROSS: "THREE TIMES!! NO!!!!!! PCS got the arm up just
in time!! He is still in this and this crowd thought it was
over!! Bennett was just about to ring the bell!"
JAKE SHADES: "You thought this was over, didn't you, you
biased idiot! Both of you morons wnat nothing more than for
that pandering twit Rabesque to win the title so you can
rub it in my face, right!?"
T.R.: "YES!!!"
V.A.: "But PCS is a very good athlete, and I'd like to see
him win one match without cheating!"
T.R.: "Rabesque can't believe it, he thought he won the
title too! Everybody is standing here in the Superdome!
Rabesque pulls PCS to his feet and whips him in!! Big side
backbreaker!! A pin!! 1-2-Ohhhh!!! So close again!! How
much more canb PCS take here!"
V.A.: "The champion is really proving himself here tonight!
I've never seen him take a beating like this Tony, he can't
even stand up!"
J.S.: "Don't you ever forget that, Victoria! That's why he's
the champ, he will always outlast goofs like Rabesque!!"
T.R.: "Rabesque gets him to his feet again and brings him
to the corner!! PCS is in a total daze!! Rabesque goes up
top!! He leaps!! PCS catches him with a belly to back
suplex!! He puts both legs on the ropes for leverage!!
1-2-3!!!! PCS pulled this one out of his proverbial
rearend!! PCS got the win with the use of the ropes!!"
J.S.: "YEEEAAHHHHH!!!! Who cares, Ross!! A win is a win!!
PCS proved to everyone in this federation that he can't be
beat!! YES!!"
T.R.: "Rabesque is in absolute shock here as he kneels on
the mat staring at the canvas! I don't think he knows that
PCS used the ropes!! This crowd is furious and stunned
at the same time!"
V.A.: "But what a matchup! Two magnificent athletes turned
this into an art here tonight in New Orleans! I was glad I
can see it!"
J.S.: "And I bet your damn glad that PCS won, Vic! I
believe you're becoming a convert!!"
T.R.: "The cage is raising up as Willie Bennett awards the
National Title back to PCS as this crowd looks on in
disbelief! I believe that this was Rabesque's night, guys!
Wait a second here!!"
V.A.: "Here comes the NEH! Minion! Big Rodge! The two
masked men! Veronica! They all have bamboo canes!"
T.R.: "They all slide into the ring and the cage lowers
down again!! JC must be behind this!! He pulled something
just like this in the AFWC after a Wargames match! He must
be in control of the cage switch somewhere!! Oh God, they
are pummeling Rabesque, PCS, and even Willie Bennett!!
Somebody get some help out here!!"
J.S.: "YEAHHH!!! But go easy on PCS guys!!"
V.A.: "The lights have just gone out in New Orleans again!"
(The lights are out in the Superdome as JC's image comes up
on the video screen)
JC: "The day Scott Malec issued me a valid manager's
license was the beginning of the end of the FWF! You see, I
mostly paid for this little endeavor called the Frontier
Wrestling Federation, and I plan on ending it as well! The
reign of Malec, Lebron, and my dear uncle Dread is coming
to a horrible end tonight, as we take out your two precious
champions right here in front of thousands upon thousands!!
Ha ha ha ha ha!!"
T.R.: "The lights are back on and Rabesque and PCS have
taken a savage beating!! The NEH is mercilessly beating on
them with the canes and here comes the Mercenaries!! The
new tag team champions Rob Anthony and Steve Lewiston,
along with Jonathan Nash have hit ringside and their trying
to unlock the cage door, but where are the keys!! Nobody
knows!! Who has the keys!?"
(JC's image comes up on the screen again)
JC: "Ah ah ah, Mercenaries, you have to find me to get
these!! (shaking a set of keys)"
T.R.: "What a conniving bastard!! Somebody find him!! The
Mercs are trying desperately to lift the cage up themselves
but it is far too heavy!! PCS and Rabesque continue to take
a horrendous beating here!"
J.S.: "I hope they don't cripple PCS, but let them destroy
Rabesque for all I care!! Ha ha ha!! I love it!!"
V.A.: "Tony, the crowd is reacting to something, what is
it!?"
T.R.: "My God, look up in the crowd!!!"
(The camera pans up into the crowd and two figures are
hurriedly coming down the stairs)
T.R.: "Holy smokes!! It's KING KRUSHER AND MAELSTROM!! This
place is going absolutely bananas!! I can't hear myself
think!!"
J.S.: "NOOOOOOOO!!!!! Not the Kicago Klown and Maeldumb!!
NOOO!!!"
T.R.: "Both men jump the railing in their street clothes
and they join the Mercenaries on the sides of the cage!!
The NEH is in total shock as they watch what is happening
here!! King Krusher, Maelstrom and the Mercenaries are
LIFTING THE CAGE UP!! OH MY!!!! They have it up!!! Just
enough for them to all crawl in!! Here we go!! We got an
all-out brawl!! Even the Lost Hanson crawled in there!!
This is unreal!! Maelstrom grabs a cane from one of the
masked men and clobbers him over the head with it!! King
Krusher clotheslines Big Rodge down!! Rob Anthony runs
Minion headfirst into the cage!! Nash and Lewiston
are double teaming the other masked man!!"
V.A.: "Look at the video screen!!! It looks like NEVADA
SMITH has found JC!! Ohhh!!!"
T.R.: "Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! Did you see the way JC flew
when Nevada hit him!! Nevada turns the switch and the cage
begins raising up all the way!! How did Nevada find him!!"
J.S.: "Oh man is that piece of horse(bleep) gonna pay for
that!!! NOBODY lays a hand on JC!! This is getting
ridiculous!!"
TONY ROSS: "The combined forces of King Krusher, Maelstrom,
and the Mercenaries have cleaned house and the NEH is out
of there! But at what price!!? Jean Rabesque and PCS are
both lying in crumpled heaps as the Lost Hanson is almost
crying as he sits over the champion!"
VICTOR ALVAREZ: "JC has chosen to make his message with
authority, but it was obvious that King Krusher and
Maelstrom were not part of his plans, and we now know that
the masked men are fakes!"
JAKE SHADES: "Let me tell you two something! Those two
maksed men are 10 TIMES the wrestlers King Krusher and
Maelstrom are, and they will prove that eventually!"
T.R.: "Who could they be!? Well, as the Mercs and the Lost
Hanson attend to their friends, King Krusher and Maelstrom
are on opposite sides of the ring and staring holes into
each other!! Both men have been handed mikes!!"
MAELSTROM: "Hey Krusher, I don't know about you....but I'm
really getting sick of those two wannabes running around
pretending to be us! Do you think you can take a break from
being one of the big, bad IWC World Tag Team Champions and
tag up with me to take these clowns out? I mean, I hate
your guts and all, but this is real important to me!"
KING KRUSHER: "I'd like nothing better, Maelstrom! I don't
love you either, but it's time we unmasked these pretenders
and show the world who the real deal is! Next Battleground,
JC! Sign it!!"
(The crosd is thrown into total hysteria)
T.R.: "I don't believe it!! King Krusher and Maelstrom, who
aren't even signed with the FWF, have thrown down the
gauntlet to JC, challenging the two masked men to a tag
team match on the next Battleground!! Unbelievable!!"
V.A.: "What a blockbuster announcement! I didn't think it
was possible, but we could very well see it on this coming
Battleground!"
J.S.: "Yeah, and the Klown and Maelstrom will find out who
the real deal is all right! Certainly not those two
mindless morons! They just shot their mouths off for the
last time!!"
T.R.: "Well fans, Jean Rabesque and Pop Culture's Superhero
are being taken out on stretchers as Krusher and Maelstrom
leave the ring separately! The Lost Hanson is almost in
hysterics over this! But, you have to watch the next
Battleground! It's a don't miss! King Krusher and Maelstrom
versus the two masked men! Also, it already has been
signed! Billy Matthews will get his National Title shot,
and let's hope that PCS can make it there! For Victor
Alvarez and Jake Shades, I'm Tony Ross! So long from New
Orleans!"
(The credit rolls and the highlights of the evening are
shown. The screen fades as Jean Rabesque is on his
knees in disbelief as PCS raises the belt high. The next
shot shows them both lying lifeless in the ring. Fadeout)