Target Center - Promoter: Joe LeBron
MINNEAPOLIS BATTLEGROUND
(CUTTO: Jake Shades as he's seen waiting in line at one of the Target Center's concession stand. He just ordered a beer, turns and takes a sip and immediately bumps into Data, spilling the beer all over her! He's about to start cursing and letting loose when he just smiles lecherously at the wet T-shirt effect the spilt beer has given Data's assets!)
JS: Oh man, normally spilling my beer would make me furious, but seeing how it wasn't a total loss (staring at Data's wet blouse).....
DATA: Nonsense Jake, it was all my fault! I shoulda been more careful. Let me make it up to you Jake.
JS: (mumbling to himself) You already have..... Um, I mean, SURE! (grinning lecherously as he greedily reaches for her) But we'll have to make it a quickie, I'm on in less than 15 minutes?
DATA: (forces a smile as she allows Jake to grope her) Well, I never like to rush anything, it's not my style. So why don't we just hold that thought for afterwards, in fact, later on during the show, I'll come out to the broadcast booth and keep you company (reaches behind Jake and pinches his butt).....
JS: (Jakes eyes suddenly light up) Hell! Sure!
DATA: But for now, let me at least buy you a beer, it's the least I can do for being so clumsy and spilling yours.
JS: Ah.... assets and brains.... what a LOVELY combination....
(Data purchases another beer and while Jake's eyes focus on her rear, she drops a couple of pills into the beer before handing it to him....)
DATA: Believe me Jake, it's MY pleasure to serve you this......
(CUTTO: ..... throngs of fans still making their way through the arena entrance. As the camera pans about, we see that the arena is completely sold out! Fans are yelling and screaming at the top of their lungs as they try desperately to catch the camera's attention! One fan even turns and moons the cameras.... across his bare rear are written the words.... "Jake Shades Cracks me up"! The camera hastily moves on, but not before we see security arrive and give chase after the "mooning" fan.
The camera continues to pan across the arena, offering occasional glimpses at signs such as: "FWF is DOOMED, Anarky has arrived!!", "Asylum, FWF's resident nut", "Black Sage & New Breed Rulz!" "Cum push my buttons Data", "Carlos Canyeta marry me!".........
The camera moves further on down, stopping to focus on a pretty pregnant woman wearing a jersey that says.... "Manson screwed me too!". The camera continues it's long arduous journey until it finally comes to rest at the broadcast booth were the Triple Threat Team are sitting. ......)
TONY ROSS: WELCOME EVERYONE TO THE TARGET CENTER IN BEAUTIFUL MINNEAPOLIS IN THE FIRST ROUND OF THE FWF's WORLD TITLE TOURNAMENT!! I'm Tony Ross here with Victor Alvarez and yes, Jake Shades too.
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony this BattleGround promises to be memorable indeed! We have Hacker not only getting a chance at World Title glory but he's also got an opportunity to become the new Frontier Champion here tonight as he's matched up against StoneWolf!
TONY ROSS: That's right Victor, an added stipulation throughout the ENTIRE World Title Tournament, excluding the final round, is that ANY and ALL current champions involved MUST put their titles on the line en route to the final round!
JAKE SHADES: Yeah, there's only ONE problem... ABEL WICKS is not being allowed to compete! No doubt Malec and LeBron's way of screwing him out of yet another title!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: As usual, nothing could be further from the truth. Wicks brought that fate on to himself as did Billy Matthews. And I'm not going to get suckered into even discussing this any further with you. Also scheduled tonight we'll see Anarky against former 3-time FWF Frontier Champion Jean Rabesque....
JAKE SHADES: Better get the meat wagon ready for Frenchy 'cause Anarky is gonna waste him!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: ..... newcomer Nemesis against Maxwell Houz and speaking of which, what's all this talk I hear about YOU offering Rusti Spears a position?
JAKE SHADES: What can I say, she wants me BAD so I'm gonna oblige her, vertically as well as horizontally! (lecherous laugh)
TONY ROSS: Watch it Shades, you keep fantazing like that and you'll grow fur on the BACK of your palms also!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: X-treme Ring holder Asylum takes on JD Badluck.... Carlos Canyeta faces Jobber in a return match from the last House Card.... Suicide King faces off against Minion..... but the BIG news tonight is National Champion Black Sage's claim that he REFUSES to recognize the World Title, and the tournament itself, claiming that HIS title is, now and always will be the "MAJOR" title here in the FWF. In fact, not only does he refuse to recognize the upcoming World Title, but he has also claimed that he will abstain from the World Title tournament and to further cast aspersions to the entire World Title situation, has defiantly decided to hold his own 4 way National title match at the next PPV in lieu of his abstaining!
TONY ROSS: No word yet has been heard from the FWF front office but I doubt they're even taking his threats seriously as they have apparently ignored Sage's threats and booked him and his National Title against Skip Davenport for tonight.
JAKE SHADES: I have a theory about Black Sage's threat.... I think it's an elaborate plan just to get out of defending his title against Skippy there, because what it all boils down to is that HE as well as his New Breed buds, are nothing but a bunch of talentless BOZOS!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: BOZOS? You're talking about the current National Champion, the man who pinned "CLEANLY" I might add, Nevada Smith! Something NOBODY has ever down here in the FWF! Not to mention that the New Breed have had a DOMINATING strangle hold on the Tag Titles for MONTHS!
JAKE SHADES: Yeah, so what's your point? They're STILL Bozos!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: (shakes his head and sighs heavily.....) Fans, earlier tonight we had two dark matches...... (interrupted as Victor Alvarez's mic suddenly goes dead...)
(Suddenly the lights dim as from out of the entrance ramp appears Michael Manson, Abel Wicks and Pestilence! As they make their way down the aisle they are followed by referees William Bennett and Stu Fields who are carrying a huge desk along with Sal Putz and Danny Diaper who are each carrying two small grade school chairs, the type that has a small patch of desk attached to the arm. They all walk directly toward the broadcast booth and.....)
MICHAEL MANSON: Hold on there bud, in case you've forgotten, there's a NEW sheriff in town and he aims to make some changes..... changes that shoulda been made LONG AGO!
(Points to the referees who reluctantly begin to replace the Triple Threat's announcing team's furniture.... giving Jake Shades the LARGE desk and Tony and Victor the small grade school chairs.....)
MICHAEL MANSON: There... now THAT's more befitting the way things SHOULD be!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: You.... you .... can't do this!!
MICHAEL MANSON: Sure I can, I can do anything I please! I'm an executive of the FWF you moron! If you don't approve, you can always drop by my office and pick up your LAST paycheck!
JAKE SHADES: That's right! What the BOSS says goes and don't you forget it!
MICHAEL MANSON: Now, on to the zebras..... (turns toward the referees....) Now that I'M running the FWF, it will no longer be the ZOO that it once was..... so... I'm changing the dress code of all the referees as of right now.... (turns toward Wicks who hands him a bag....) You referees can shed your stripes now, because it's time for your NEW uniforms! (pulls out 4 jerseys and displays them... the front has a picture of Abel Wicks face and the back reads "Abel Wicks, The FWF's Ikon!". He hands them to each of them and orders them to put them on. Sal Putz and Danny Diaper immediately obey while Stu Fields hesitates and William Bennett defiantly glares at Manson)
JAKE SHADES: What are those two goofs waiting for? They better listen to the BOSS before he gets angry!
MICHAEL MANSON: What's the matter boys, don't like the scenery here, well maybe you'll like the scenery better elsewhere, say like at the UNEMPLOYMENT OFFICE!!
(Bennett simply glares at Manson then walks straight up to him and starts eyeballing him....)
TONY ROSS: Uh oh.... Manson just picked the WRONG ref to try and push around!
JAKE SHADES: I hope he DOES try something against Manson.... it'll be the LAST thing he EVER does!
(Bennett and Manson stand there glaring at each other for a few seconds as Stu Fields watches, not knowing what to do..... after a few seconds, Bennett reluctantly snatches the jersey from Manson's hand and puts it on, at which point Stu Fields frowns and puts it on also.....)
JAKE SHADES: DAMN!! I wanted to see Manson give Bennett a beat down.... oh well, I guess the humiliation of it all will just have to suffice for now..... hehehehehe...
TONY ROSS: Jake, you're such and IDIOT!
MICHAEL MANSON: Well it seems just as I improve BattleGround,the old guard tries once again to butcher the new one. If you have noticed, Abel Wicks has been excluded from the world title tounrney. Need I remind you that he was the one who brought that title into the FWF and is the chairman of the charity the proceeds go to? Have you not heard? Abel Wicks is the FWF's IKON. However the situation must be rectified. Therefore as of now the tourney will NO LONGER be referred to as the World Title Tourney, rather it will be called the "Abel Wicks Invitational"! Further more he WILL receive a title shot in the near future. Since he is excluded the mangement is now backing he who the creative team is backing, Carlos Canyeta!! Now I have a further announcement. After talks with FOX Sports....I have now made FWF under the regulation of its own self-appointed censor...MYSELF. Therefore the next BattleGround will be the most violent one ever. And one other thing, the FWF will now, have it's very own BattleGround Girls on EVERY upcoming BattleGround..... (pointing to the Jumbotron....) I present to you, the BATTLEGROUND GIRLS with the FWF's official mascot, Bueno Excellente!!
(CUTTO: the Jumbotron as 4 fat, out-of-shape, unkempt older women in grass skirts, ala Hawaiian dancer style, appear with Bueno Excellente accompanying them with a banjo. They begin swaying drunkenly back and forth as Bueno Excellente begins plucking his banjo......)
MICHAEL MANSON: Well, I'll be leaving now but you will be hearing from me later."
ABEL WICKS(taking mic): If ya smellllllllll what the Wicker is cookin?
(Wicks then drops the mic and follows Manson and Pestilence out of the ring and up the aisle.)
JAKE SHADES: Yep.... I can smell it.... it smells like the FWF is FINALLY going places!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Yeah.... at this rate, down the toilet! I can't wait until Malec and LeBron finally boot him outta office.
JAKE SHADES: Don't head your breath Victoria! By the way, that's a cute little desk you have there, more your speed! HAHAHHAHAAHAH!
TONY ROSS: (sighs heavily) I wouldn't laugh too hard Jake, these ridiculous changes won't stand for long.... so until then it's business as usual. Victor, I understand, before you were interrupted by this NONSENSE that you were about to comment on the two dark matches we had earlier this evening......
VICTOR ALVAREZ: (with an obvious look of anger....) Um.... yeah... that's right.... earlier this evening we had Bad Company against newcomers by the name of Fed Up.... which is EXACTLY the way I feel right now!
JAKE SHADES: Hey Victoria, you know what your remind me of sitting in that tiny chair.... a big dummy with a dunce cap! HAAAHAHAHHAHA!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: (pauses as he begins glaring at Jake, after a heavy sigh he continues.....) Let's take it to the video tape as we review the highlight of the match.....
(CUTTO: Prerecorded tape of Alan Thompson of BadCompany powerslamming RJ Harris of Fed Up with authority to the mat! He then scoops Harris up and piledrives him to the mat just as Brandon Goodbay of Fed Up jumps into the ring to intervene! He's immediately met by Bad Company's Hank Thompson...... Goodbay manhandles Hank into the corner and proceeds to maul him! At this point Alan Thompson hits RJ Harris with another piledriver, then climbs to the top rope and delivers a devastating leg drop but no one's home as Harris rolls out of the way at the last possible second! At this point all 4 men are battling in the ring oblivious of the bell ringing indicating the time limit has been reached. Referee Danny Diaper tries to break them up to inform them that the match has ended in a draw but gets inadvertedly clocked by an RJ Harris round house meant for Alan Thompson......! CUT BACK TO: the broadcast team...)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Bad Company and Fed Up just refused to give an inch as they continued the battle well after the match was over.....
JAKE SHADES: Yeah..... but as good as that was, the best was yet to come....
TONY ROSS: No doubt what Jake is referring to is what happened immediately following the match as Bad Company finally grabbed the advantage by pulling out their branding irons and proceeded to mercilessly brand their opponents with the BC mark.
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Yeah but as bad as that was, it doesn't compare to the dispicable act that followed.
JAKE SHADES: I know and I loved it!
TONY ROSS: You would! During all this branding, FWF Pres. Joe LeBron came down and began admonishing Bad Company and they responded by powerbombing RJ Harris on the announcers table. Then Alan grabs a Mic and.....
JAKE SHADES: Forget that crap about you narrating it, I wanna see it again.....
(CUTTO: Video tape....)
ALAN THOMPSON: "We just working our way to the top boss".
(As Alan cynically pleads his case, Hank Thompson sneaks up behind LeBron and nails him across the back with that branding iron and before leaving, brand him also)
(CUT BACK TO: the broadcast booth)
JAKE SHADES: That alone was worth the price of admission!
TONY ROSS: Speaking of price, I'm sure that's going to cost Bad Company a hefty fine when Joe LeBron views that clip. The other dark match featured Cat Pack member Black Cat against the New Breed's own Darren McMillan! These two teams have been feuding ever since the Cat Pack lost their title to the New Breed months ago and tonight it culminated in a one on one. Let's cut to the video tape highlights.....
(CUTTO: Video clips of Black Cat sneak attacking McMillan at the entrance ramp with crow bar shot to the knees and then dragging him to the ring.
CUTTO: clips of McMillan regaining the advantage with a variety of moonsaults, hurricarranas, senton somersaults......
CUTTO: clips of Black Cat out muscling the much smaller McMillan witha series of body slams following it up with 2 count pin....
CUTTO: clips of McMillan as Black Cat is dazed on the outside.... Darren going to the top rope, jumping off, and landing on Black Cat with a hurricanrana that flips Black Cat onto the concrete.....
CUTTO: clips of Icekold distracting the referee. Copycat attacking McMillan and slugging him in the jaw with his taped hand. McMillan stumbles backwards, holding his jaw, and Black Cat drops him with a reverse DDT. Black Cat rolling McMillan into the ring and nearly getting the pinfall with a 2 1/2 count!
CUTTO: Black Cat tossing McMillan to the ropes...... McMillan bouncing off the ropes with a split and flips back into a moonsault surprising Black Cat long enough to gain the 3 count and the victory!)
(CUT BACK TO: the broadcast booth....)
TONY ROSS: That has GOT to be the MOST aggressive I've EVER seen McMillan since his days with Seek & Destroy! I mean did you see that move he surprised Black Cat with?
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Yes indeed, that was one of his new finishers, he calls it the New Destruction!
JAKE SHADES: Forget that nonsense! Let's go on to see what happened after the match which was MUCH more impressive than his LUCKY win!
(CUTTO: clips of McMillan laying Black Cat out on a table and landing a somersault senton, putting Black Cat through the table....)
JAKE SHADES: NOT THAT CLIP YOU MORONS! The OTHER CLIP!!
(CUTTO: Copycat pounding McMillan repeatedly in the jaw with his taped hand, leaving him unconscious and bleeding from the mouth. Black Cat, meanwhile, puts a Cat Pack sticker on McMillan's tag title belt. As the Cat Pack exits the ring, and just before they exit to the back area, Copycat holds up his hand and unwraps the tape, there's very little tape as it falls away, revealing a wicked-looking pair of brass knuckles underneath. The Cat Pack laugh as they leave the ringside area......)
(CUT BACK TO: the broadcast team...)
JAKE SHADES: (yawning loudly as he begins to look noticeably tired....) Yet another match with a BETTER ending AFTER the match!
TONY ROSS: What's the matter Shades, time for your nap already?
JAKE SHADES: (yawning yet again as he looks to be struggling to keep his eyes open....) BITE ME! Must be the effects of listening to your BORING commentaries..... (yawns loudly this time....)
TONY ROSS: (gives him a curious, suspicious look....) Uh huh, well, you got exactly 60 seconds to catch some zzzzzz's cause we'll be right back with the first of our World Title Tournament.....
JAKE SHADES: THAT'S "WICK's INVITATIONAL" YOU.... (yawns again) ... YOU MORON!
TONY ROSS: (ignoring Jake....) Fans, we'll be right back with our 1st World Title Tourney match......
(FADE TO: Promo for Black Sage's Prison Literacy Program.....)
(FADE BACK: to the broadcast booth....)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Well, it's about.... (interrupted by a sudden eruption of whistles and cat calls as Data suddenly appears by herself and walks straight up to the broadcast booth......)
TONY ROSS: Well, um... hello there Data, to what do we owe this unexpected pleasure?
DATA: I was invited by Jake here earlier this evening to keep him company..... (smiling coyly as she walks up to Jake and sits on the large table next to him....) Hiya Jake!
(Jake Shades, still struggling to keep his eyes open begins squinting at her quizzically....)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Company? It looks to me like he can barely stay awake let alone keep you company.....
DATA: That's okay... I'll just hang out with you guys for a while.... I've always wondered what it's like at this end of the arena anyhow. My, don't you two look CUTE in those little chairs! (winking at Victor....)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Well, um... I guess that's okay.... um Tony?
TONY ROSS: Don't look at me, I'm still trying to get used to looking "CUTE" in this damn grade school chair.
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Hopefully that won't be for long..... anyhow, I see that Paul Kramer is ready to announce the first match of the World Title Tourney so let's turn it over to him......
(CUTTO: Center ring and Paul Kramer....)
PAUL KRAMER: HELLOOOOOO MINNEAPOLIS! AND WELCOME TO FWF BATTLEGROUND!! The following matches are ALL first round elimination matches to determine the very first WORLD CHAMPION in the FWF! ANY and ALL title WILL be on the line up until the FINAL ROUND match that will determine the FWF's first ever WORLD CHAMPION at its next PPV!!
(CROWD POPS LOUDLY.....)
PAUL KRAMER: For our first match, we have......
(CUE UP: "The World I Know" by Collective Soul....)
PAUL KRAMER: From Quebec City, Quebec, Canada, weighing 235 pounds.... He's the #18 seed.... He's "THE MESSENGER" SKIP DAVENPORT!!
(Crowd pops as the blond haired young man known as Skip Davenport makes his way down aisle wearing blue and white tights.....)
PAUL KRAMER: And his opponent....
(Before Paul Kramer can continue his introductions, he is interrupted as the New Breed's music starts blaring and Black Sage appears at the top of the ramp along with Miss Thang and Darren McMillan, who's jaw is still swollen from his match against Black Cat earlier this evening. The crowd greets them with mostly boos as they make their way down to the ring. Sage, still in his street clothes, steps up to the apron and grabs the microphone from Paul Kramer...looks over the arena from one side to the other, soaking up every cheer and jeer the fans can aim at him...and begins speaking.....)
BLACK SAGE:---I couldn't help but notice driving in here tonight, that on the marquee out by the highway the FWF is STILL promoting Black Sage versus Skippy D. for tonight! (Sage mocks a "yawn") The fact *is*...I withdrew from that shady, little tournament! (mixed crowd reaction) I've done my share of tournaments already, and the FWF National Title is my priority now! ...not some alleged world title that a bunch of reputed mid-carders are fighting for! (Sage raises the FWF National Title overhead) This is the "top-gun" in the FWF! This is where tradition lies! ...and this is where the sacrafice has been made! ...so until someone can prove otherwise, I'll take my National Title over a *dozen* alleged world titles anyday! Twice the weight in gold, with half of the work involved doesn't *work* for me! So Skippy, I suggest you go on back to the dressing room tonight because like I said earlier.... I W-I-T-H-D-R-E-W from this nonsense tournament LONG ago!
(Skip Davenport looks around and starts talking to the ref. Referee Sal Putz, who's dressed in his new "Wicks Jersey" attire walks over to Black Sage and has a few words with him... after a few seconds Putz steps away and hastily leaves the ring as Black Sage and McMillan suddenly enter the ring. Davenport after conversing with referee Sal Putz, apparently sees that the match will not be taking place and turns and heads back to the lockerroom with a disgusted look on his face.)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: What's going on here?
TONY ROSS: It looks like the National Champion is exercising his earlier claim of abstaining from the World Title Tourney.... it looks like officially this will be ruled a no contest, I guess we'll get official word a little later as to how the FWF will officially rule on this.
(Suddenly someone from the third or fourth row tosses a large Battleground souvenier cup into the ring, missing everyone in sight, and not even bursting on impact.)
BLACK SAGE:---(pointing to the cup) You know where that goes, right Darren?
(Darren McMillian nods, scoops up the cup, and makes his way over to the ropes near the announce team.)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Jake, um Jake.... I think you better snap out of whatever's wrong with you.... (leans over and nudges Jake enough so that he first looks at Data and smiles, then out of the corner of his eye he sees McMillan heading toward him and clumsily stumbles his way underneath the table, much like a drunk would as the fans roar with laughter.....)
DATA: (grabbing Jake's headset and seating herself in his chair...) Why thank you Jake.... (pokes her head underneath the table and feigns talking with him....) What's that? You want ME to take over for you? Why OF COURSE I WILL!!
(As Sage continues on the mic, McMillan teases Shades by winding up the cup everytime he pokes his head out from under the table after a few moments of this he goes back and joins Sage in the ring.)
BLACK SAGE:---Lebron, Malec, or Mikey Manson! ... or whoever's *running* this show tonight have not only failed to acknowledge my withdrawal, but they've also failed to acknowledge my challenge in place of competing in the tournament...and worse yet, they've failed to make the proper corrections in the promoting of tonight's show!
(Behind Sage, McMillan goes to drink from the tossed cup, but has second-thoughts...and in his best interest, removes the lid to examine the cups contents...resulting in what appears to be a case of almost vomiting on national televsion. Quickly, McMillan puts the lid back on and sets the cup in the corner, still appearing disgusted.)
BLACK SAGE:---As for my 4-way National Title challenge! *Still* no response from Billy Matthews, and for a guy with nothing better to do...I'm a bit surprised! Matthews...you've got until the end of the night to accept that challenge, or you can forget about it! I don't like people wasting my time! ...*and* Asylum, still as confused as he ever was, I know you went ahead and accepted my challenge! I know you denounced the world title as I did...and as you *had* to do, but your insistence on competing in tonight's first round matches wasn't the right thing to do! Either way, we've got a verbal contract...and tonight's match is the end of the line for you in that tournament, win or lose! ...but for all intents and purposes, I hope you *do* win that match, and leave the alleged world title tournament with yet another hole in it's credibility! ...and for anyone else offended by that alleged world title, the tournament, and the level of competition involved... there's still one slot left open in my 4-way National Title challenge! ...so if you're ranked with best, all you've got to do is *denounce*, *withdraw*, and you've got a National Title shot! ...but right *NOW*, I'm not leaving this ring until someone from the FWF front office acknowledges their champion! If you want to fire me...GO AHEAD, but I want an answer...and I want it *now*!
(The camera suddenly cuts to the entrance way, Cue Up: "Crazy Train" by Ozzy Osbourne. As the song starts to kick up, almost synchronized, Brian Matthews, Ricky Kabe, and finally Billy Matthews, walk onto the ramp. Billy moves to the front, mic in hand, he soaks in boos and ignores them at the same time.)
MATTHEWS: "Black Sage...you invite me into this dance at the Pay Per View? You want to put the National title on the line against greatness? I could stand here and dissertate about a bunch history and crap, but the deal is this Sage...I'm there...I'll win back my title...I'll show Malec and LeBron what talent they've got against them. I'll show these piss poor fans what they have left. Sage, I'll show you Greatness..."
(Matthews drops the mic and in reverse order the three file out. At this point, before Sage can comment, the fans begin to react as Manson walks out with Pestilence......)
MANSON: Now if I understand this, you are abstaining from this tournament which was something Malec did? Well, now I could care less about that... HOWEVER, about this LAST spot for this "4-way National Title Match" of yours..... Consider that spot FILLED by MY man.... the IKON... ABEL WICKS!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: OH MAN!! This is REALLY starting to heat up!
TONY ROSS: Not nearly as much as it is about to in a minute... look who's making his way down the aisle and he doesn't look too happy about this.....
(The fans react once again as FWF Co-Owner Scott Malec makes his way down the aisle and into the ring.... he pulls out his own Mic and begins to speak....)
MALEC: Wait a minute!...Wait a DAMN minute here!! NOBODY here is going to be making ANY type of decision like that without MY say so!
MANSON: C'mon Malec, think of the ratings man, you got former National Champ Billy Matthews involved in this as well as the current X-treme Ring holder Asylum as well as the IKON himself ABEL WICKS!! I mean they'll all have a fair chance (rolls eyes sarcastically)....and maybe... just MAYBE, one of them might defeat the IKON and become the NEW IKON. Though, not bloody likely, but still REMOTELY possible!
(Malec appears to consider the possibilities of such a match, then after a momentary silence he nods in agreement....)
SCOTT MALEC: Alright, the match DOES seem to have promotional possibilities....
BLACK SAGE:---Michael, now we both know that Abel Wicks hasn't earned any titles shot, and the closest he'll proably come is if he makes up another one...*but* in all honesty, I've looked foward to hurting your little whipping-boy Wicks for sometime now...so if that's what it takes, then I accept!
(Darren McMillian picks up the tossed soda cup from the corner, approaches Sage, and whispers something into his ear, eyeing Manson the entire time. Sage simply laughs and nods to Darren.)
BLACK SAGE: ...and Mikey, Darren just wants you to know he really didn't like wrestling in the dark match tonight, before most of Minneanapolis's die-hard New Breed fanbase even arrived! ...and we *really* didn't appreciate the ass strapping you pulled on us in Des Moines, *but* then again, we're sick of telling people!
(At this point, McMillan shoves Malec between the ropes to the floor, distracting Manson and allowing Sage clotheslines Pestilence out of the ring and spin around Manson and apply a Cobra Clutch! As Manson attempts to break the hold, McMillan calmly approaches him with the tossed soda cup in hand and removes the lid. As Sage eases up presssure on the hold and McMillan apparently doesn't appear to be looking for offense, Manson stops resisting so much...allowing McMillan to pull back his waistband...and dump the cups contents into his pants, which the crowd now realizes doesn't contain soda at all..but instead was filled with some fans urine! As McMillan bounces off the ropes in hysterical laughter, Miss Thang grabs their respective title belts, and Sage throws Manson from the cobra clutch to the mat. With Manson kneeling humiliated on the mat soaked in someones urine, Sage blows Manson a kiss as McMillan yells "Don't f*** with the New Breed"...and the New Breed exit the ring to an enormous pop!)
DATA: Oh my! That's disgusting!
TONY ROSS: To say the least.... But it looks like it's official now... the front office seems to like the idea.
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony, I've just received word that "The Messenger" Skip Davenport will receive a bye to the next round of the World Title Tournament via Black Sage's abstaining tonight. The match itself is officially ruled a No Contest.
DATA: What a lucky break for that Skippy fellow! All this action and poor Jake missed it all.
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Speaking of which... Jake's been awfully quiet through all this.....
(All three of them peer underneath the table to see Jake Shades fast asleep and snoring....)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Jake... JAKE! JAKE WAKE UP!! (No response from Jake, only more snoring....) Tony, there's something funny going on here.
DATA: Could be poor Jake is off the wagon again and is just drunk? (batting her eyes innocently....)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Now I'm not defending Jake mind you, but even DEAD DRUNK, he NEVER passed out on the job... I mean, yeah he was SUPER obnoxious, but he NEVER passed out!
DATA: Maybe that new girlfriend of his, Rusti Spears has something to do with it. You know a girl like that is capable of ANYTHING!
TONY ROSS: Yes... I imagine a "Girl" like that IS capable of anything... (he and Victor exchange suspicious glances...) Well, Victor, why don't you see about getting the EMTs over here to check on Jake while we go for a commercial break....
(CUTTO: a promo for Wickamania T-shirts.....)
(FADE BACK: to somewhere back stage at the Target Center where we see Black Sage arriving. He is met at the door by Darren McMillan who is still sporting a swollen jaw from his match earlier and is accompanied by Miss Thang. Black Sage, dressed in street clothes with the FWF National Title over his shoulder, is pushing a covered stretcher up the hall to his dressing room. As they head up the hallway, the three laugh wildly after an inaudilble discussion.... CUTTO: The broadcast booth.....)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: What was that all about?
TONY ROSS: I don't know, but it certainly doesn't look good.
DATA: No doubt they're up to no good! You just can't trust anyone nowadays it seems!
(Ross and Alvarez give each other curious looks.....)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Uh...huh... Well, I'm Jake will definitely agree with you on that....
TONY ROSS: Any word on Jake yet?
VICTOR ALVAREZ: None that they can confirm as of yet (looking suspiciously at Data), but they say that by his overall appearance, that he may have been drugged......
DATA: DRUGS?!? Oh my, as if being an alcoholic weren't enough! I don't understand why LeBron and Malec don't just fire him and replace him with a FRESH NEW IMAGE.....
TONY ROSS: You mean like a FE-MALE commentator?
DATA: (Feigning sarcasm) Why Tony.... that's a GREAT idea! I woulda NEVER thought of that! Iguess it's just lucky I just happened along.
TONY ROSS: Uh huh.... (looking suspiciously at Data) Well, for now, let's just refer to it as coincidence.... (turns and mumbles to Victor....) ::::::until that doctor report on Shades comes in that is::::
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Well, there's Paul Kramer, so let's turn it over to him....
(CUTTO: Center ring and Paul Kramer....)
PAUL KRAMER: For our sec...... (interrupted by ......)
(Minion as he suddenly appears, mic in hand and makes his way to the ring.....)
MINION: Hold on there, there won't be ANY more matches tonight until I have my say! What I want is for all you overweight, ugly, stupid pieces of (BLEEP) to shut the (BLEEP) up. I got something to say and I don't give a rats (BLEEP) if you like it or not. Jean were you at the last house card or did you get a tape of the action? Well if you didn't lets just take a trip down memory lane shall we. Roll some of that footage...
(A few seconds pass and nothing happens.... the fans begin to laugh and ridicule Minion....)
MINION: Now if I have to wait any longer, I'm going to go to the control room and KICK SOME TECH (BLEEP)!! Now maybe you didn't hear me the first time, so I'll cut you a break.... I SAID ROLL THAT (BLEEP) FOOTAGE!!
(This time the jumbotron comes alive with a house card video of Brian Lawler getting beaten badly by Minion. The same clip begins to replay several times as if to add emphasis on the beating that Minion gave to Lawler......)
MINION: (doing his own commentary.....) Man that one hurt!.... Yep I heard it crunch on that! And oh yeah this was my favorite!
(Video clip does a freeze frame on Lawler as he is carried out in a stretcher.....)
MINION: Jean you made me do it. Don't blame me. Blame the person you see looking at you each and everyday in the mirror. You see you thought this would all end at BattleGround didn't you. You thought the thorn in your side would finally be plucked from you and never see you again? Well Jean that was merely the tip of the iceberg. The time has come for you to feel the true wrath of the Minion and since I am such a nice and caring guy I'll tell you how this is going to work okay? For each day from now until the end of time I will attack one of your friends. But they will not know where it is coming from. I could come from anywhere.... I could do anything, but I promise each card one of your friends will go down just like Brian Lawler did. Oh and before I forget, tell Brian I said hello. I think he is finishing his dinner now through a straw or something. HAHAHAAAAAAA! So Jean the feud begins all over again. You will never get rid of me until I destroy you then and only then will I stop the pain and suffering. Jean you make me sick you and your pathetic friends will all fall down.
(Minion throws the mic down on the ground and raises his hands up in the air and then finally walks off as the fans pelt him with debris....)
TONY ROSS: That was just a disgusting display! To kick dirt on a man's reputation like that when he's not even here to defend himself!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: It certainly was, the latest report on Lawler is that he suffered a spinal injury and it's still questionable whether or not he'll EVER be able to wrestle again! And this CRETIN took pleasure in taking credit for it!
DATA: Oh I don't know, I mean WHEN Hacker does the same to Stone Wolf tonight and becomes Frontier Champion in the process, I think he's entitled to gloat some!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Hacker cripple Stone Wolf? (give Tony an incredulous look....) Hacker will be lucky if he doesn't embarrass himself tonight!
DATA: What are you insinuating? That Hacker SUCKS?
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Of course not... but let's face it, Hacker doesn't have the greatest of records and he's going up against one of the BEST in the business!
DATA: Greatest of records? Are you forgetting how he ENDED Joe Massacre's career on the last house card?
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Ended his career?
DATA: That's right! Does Massacre still wrestle in the FWF?
VICTOR ALVAREZ: No but....
DATA: Is he still employed by the FWF?
VICTOR ALVAREZ: No but...
DATA: But NOTHING! I promised when I took over Hacker's career from that witch on a broomstick Ms. Honey, that I would take him straight to the top!! And I did! Didn't he end Massacre's career here in the FWF?
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Well he beat him yes but technically he didn't....
DATA: And didn't "I" get him an immediate Frontier Title shot despite his current record?
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Well, he IS getting a title shot tonight but that's only because....
DATA: Oh too bad we can't discuss this further... it looks like Paul Kramer is ready for the next match.... take it away PAULIE!!!
(Victor gives Tony a "What the hell was that all about" look just as we cut to Paul Kramer once again.....)
PAUL KRAMER: Okay... let's try this again.... NEXT, weighing 280 pounds and hailing from the Internet...., he's the #17 seed....
(CUE UP: When Worlds Collide by Powermen 5000.....)
PAUL KRAMER: He's HACKER!!!
(IMMEDIATELY DATA JUMPS UP OFF HER CHAIR AND STARTS CHEERING LOUDLY INTO THE MIC...... )
DATA: ALRIGHT! GO HACKER!! KICK SOME (BLEEP) (BLEEP) TONIGHT!!
(Tony's and Victor's eyes widen at hearing Data's colorful response.... Meanwhile, Hacker makes his way down the aisle and straight to the broadcast booth... he stops momentarily and laughs as he stares at Victor and Tony as they sit in their small grade school type chairs.... after a brief laugh, he kisses Data passionately then heads to the ring....)
PAUL KRAMER: And his opponent, weighing 223 pounds, he hails from, The Black Mountains of New Mexico....
(Arena lights go out, A wolf howl echos throughout the arena, CUEUP: "Right Now" by Van Halen......)
PAUL KRAMER: Defending his title tonight..... he's the #2 seed as well as the current Frontier Champion.... he's STOOOONE WOOOOLF!
(Fans roar loudly as Stone Wolf appears, slapping hands all the way down to the ring....)
DATA: Take a picture 'cause it's the LAST time you'll see Stone Wolf as Champion!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: (sarcastically....) And me without my camera... Hacker wastes no time as he attacks Stone Wolf coming into the ring.... a series of clubbing forearms across the back sends Stone Wolf down to one knee!
DATA: Yea HACKER!
TONY ROSS: Hacker is definitely putting the pressure on..... he knows the importance of this match and what lies at stake here... Hacker whips Stone Wolf into the ropes.... MISSES WITH A CLOTHESLINE!! Stone Wolf off the opposite ropes.... FLYING BODY PRESS.... HACKER CATCHES HIM IN MIDAIR AND POWER SLAMS HIM! 1... 2... KICKOUT BY STONE WOLF!
DATA: That referee sure is counting slow!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Maybe it's the seat or something, but you're beginning to sound EXACTLY like Jake! Hacker pulls Stone Wolf to his feet.... SMALL PACKAGE BY WOLF!! 1...2.... KICKOUT BY HACKER!!
DATA: Not only did the referee miss Stone Wolf pulling on the tights, but he also started counting faster for him!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Are you by any chance related to Jake? (shakes his head sarcastically...) Wolf to his feet first... Russian leg sweep takes Hacker down! Wolf with a spinning toe hold.... Hacker plants a foot on his rear and shoves him hard into the turnbuckle! Wolf hops off the second rope.... spinning savate kick smacks Hacker across the face!
TONY ROSS: Impressive move by Frontier Champion Stone Wolf ..... I don't believe I've ever seen him do a move like that. It's something straight out of the Darren McMillan handbook!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: That's what makes Stone Wolf SO dangerous, you never know HOW he's going to come at you! Hacker tries to get to his feet but Stone Wolf's going for the figure four.... Hacker's struggling to block it.... NO GOOD! Stone Wolf's got it locked on! This just might be it!
(Suddenly Data jumps out of her seat and races toward the ring! She grabs a chair and is about to enter the ring when out of nowhere Jake Shades comes stumbling out and snatches the chair from her!)
JAKE SHADES: You (BLEEP) B!TCH!! You doped-up my drink tonight!
DATA: (backing off nervously....) Wh....wha....what are you talking about? I don't know what you're talking about!
(Suddenly Data makes a break for it and starts running around the ring with Jake giving chase.... meanwhile Hacker is still trying to fight off Stone Wolf's figure 4....)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony, may God forgive me for saying this, but it would serve her right if Jake caught her!
TONY ROSS: For his sake I hope he doesn't, 'cause I think Data can take him.... (a brief moment of silence then the both of them break out in laughter!)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: I don't know how much longer Hacker can hang on.... Hacker's trying to crawl to the ropes.... Wolf applies more pressure and Hacker cries out in agony!! Data stops momentarily to reach out and try to pull Hacker to closer to the ropes.... she's almost got him... she's got him! But she has to release him as Jake Shades nearly caught her! They're off to the races again and meanwhile Hacker manages to pull himself a bit closer to the ropes.... he pulls a little more...
TONY ROSS: Oh my god! He may actually make it! He's only a few inches from the ropes.... he's reaching..... he's almost got it..... AND HE COLLAPSES TO THE MAT IN PAIN!! HE'S TAPPING OUT!! HACKER HAS TAPPED OUT!! Stone Wolf successfully defends his title and advances to the next round of the World Tourney with a submission win over Hacker!
(Cheers give way to laughter as Data continues to run around the ring, Shades however stops and hides behind the steel steps....)
JAKE SHADES: GOTCHA YA LITTLE TART!!
(They struggle back and forth, with Data actually getting the upper hand for a while until Jake pushes her and traps her against the guardrail.... Jake raises his hand to smack her when out of no where Hacker appears and catches Jake's hand....)
JAKE SHADES: What the?? OH (BLEEP)!! Let go you overpaid jobber!
(Hacker merely grins as Data takes advantage of the situation by kicking Jake in the groin..... he then lifts Jake up and proceeds to put the VIRUS on him when out of seemingly nowhere Rusti Spears appears with one of Maxwell Houz's container of coffee and splashes it right into Hacker's face!!)
TONY ROSS: OH MY GOD!! That has GOT to sting!!
(Hacker, blinded and scalded by the burning coffee, immediately drops Jake and backs off..... Data makes a move toward Jake but Rusti Spears intercepts her and pounces on her! They both begin to roll around the floor, catfighting, until security comes in to break it up....)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Now I've seen everything! We wondered WHY Data took an interest in Jake and finally found out the reason behind it. But WHAT possible reason is there for Rusti Spears to come out in Jake's defense?
TONY ROSS: Well, I guess Jake wasn't lying before when he said that he offered her a position..... (shakes his head....) I don't see the attraction or connection, but one thing I'm sure of and it's that there's more hot action yet to follow! Fans, we'll be right back with our next match after this commercial break!
(FADE OUT TO: A promo for Ninetendo 64's newest game version of FWF's Total Conquest 2000..... FADE OUT....)
(Cameras fade back to the broadcast booth....)
TONY ROSS: Jake, so what exactly was THAT all about earlier? What's going on between you and Spears?
JAKE SHADES: It's like I told you idiots before, I offered Spears a position and she JUMPED on it!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: And what about what Data did to you earlier, drugging you and all that?
JAKE SHADES: She was probably jealous of me and Spears!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Somehow I really doubt that. She looked to have something more devious in mind, like maybe somehow insuring Hacker with a victory tonight.
JAKE SHADES: Hey, what can I tell you, I'm simply irresistable!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Oh yeah right, I've heard enough of this crap, Paul take it away.....
PAUL KRAMER: For our next match, we have......
(CUE UP: "It's The End Of the World (As We Know It)" from REM.....)
PAUL KRAMER: From Ankorage AK, weighing 200 pounds.... he's the #15 seed in this tournament.... JD BAAAADLUCK!!!
(Crowd pops as JD Badluck appears at the foot of the ramp and makes his way down the aisle, stopping every so often to slap a few hands.....)
PAUL KRAMER: And his opponent.....
(CUE UP: Hands of Death by Rob Zombie & Alice Cooper.....)
PAUL KRAMER: From Seattle WA, weighing 220 pounds..... he's the #4 seed as well as the X-Treme Ring holder.....defending his ring tonight is ASYLUM!!!
(The crowd reacts with mixed reactions as Asylum appears bare foot, wearing his usual untied straight jacket andpajama bottoms. Noticeably absent is Daisy as he slowly makes his way toward the ring.....)
TONY ROSS: It's been a while since we've seen JD Badluck in action, he's got his hands full tonight with the FWF's resident nut-case Asylum.
VICTOR ALVAREZ: And that's putting it mildly Tony..... Asylum, still acting somewhat confused turns his back on Badluck and JD capitalizes with a dropkick to the back that sends Asylum sprawling through the ropes and out of the ring! JD follows him outside, grabs him by one of the loose sleeves of the straight jacket and hurls him into the guardrail!
JAKE SHADES: If he were smart he would tie Asylum up in that straight jacket....
TONY ROSS: Actually, I hate to admit it, but that does make sense....
VICTOR ALVAREZ: He may have just heard both of you as it appears that's what he's going to do..... JD pulls Asylum up by the hair, spins him around.... OH! BACK KICK TO THE GROIN BY ASYLUM!! Asylum strips the straight jacket off his body and wraps it around Badluck's throat, he's CHOKING HIM!! Now he slingshots him HARD against the ring apron! Badluck grasps at his back and slumps to floor.... Asylum rolls him back into the ring and climbs to the top rope..... he waits for Badluck to rise to his feet.... he LEAPS! HURRICARANA OFF THE TOP ROPE!!
JAKE SHADES: This guy IS a (BLEEP) NUT!!
TONY ROSS: Badluck's in trouble now as Asylum pulls him to his feet and forces him into the corner.... a series of knee lifts to the head staggers Badluck.... Asylum sets JD up on the top turnbuckle and follows him up there.... he's setting him for something... OH MY GOD!! He's pulls JD to his feet... they're both standing on the turnbuckle.... AND ASYLUM ALMOST LOSES HIS FOOTING AND FALLS! Asylum, steadies himself..... SUPERPLEX OFF THE TOP ROPE!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: WHAT AN IMPACT! Neither man is moving as they both just lay there! The referee starts the count...
JAKE SHADES: Forget the count.... just get a giant spatula and peel them off the mat like the roadkill they are!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: The refs at 6... and they both start stirring! Referee Danny Diaper slows the tempo of the count down some now that he sees them stirring.... surprisingly, JD is the first one to his feet.... Asylum clutches at JD as he struggles to pull himself up.... A JD chop to the throat staggers Asylum.... Asylum retaliates with a rake of the eyes!
TONY ROSS: Badluck lunges at Asylum and they hit the ropes, almost toppling over it as they roll across it!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony someone just jumped the railing and ran to the apron where Asylum and Badluck are battling.... THAT's WHITE DUST from the BYW!! He's got something in his hands..... he taps Asylum's shoulder..... Asylum turns.... White Dust tosses powder at Asylum's face! Asylum ducks and the powder hits Badluck in the face!
JAKE SHADES: Damn! That's badluck for Badluck!
TONY ROSS: Badluck is blinded..... DDT BY ASYLUM! He looks the leg for the pin.... 1....2.....3!! Asylum goes on to the next round of the tourney with the inadvertant help of the BYW!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: And here comes the rest of the BYW!! They hit the ring and start beating down Asylum! And look at JD Badluck, he's absolutely furious! He pulls WhiteyD off of Asylum and starts arguing with him.... AND BADLUCK JUST SHOVED WHITEYD!! And Asylum's getting kicked by Midiot! Badluck rushes over and pulls Midiot off Asylum! Badluck's so furious at the BWY for costing him this match that he's aligning himself with Asylum!
JAKE SHADES: WHO did you say was kicking Asylum? Idiot?
VICTOR ALVAREZ: That's MIDIOT you IDIOT!
TONY ROSS: Asylum and Badluck are holding the BYW at bay... And someone else just came running down the aisle and dove underneath the ring ropes into the ring and sides up next to JD Badluck! Who is that guy?
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony, I'm not quite sure, but I think that's one of AJ Badluck! Relative and off camera body guard to JD Badluck! Well it looks like the odds are evening out a bit now. What's this? Badluck hauls off and nails Asylum with the Spider Web Slam!! What's going on here? Now I'm REALLY CONFUSED!
JAKE SHADES: Stop lying, you've ALWAYS been confused!
(The fans erupt with gasps of shock as they watch AJ Badluck hand JD Badluck a BYW Brigade shirt and put it on! They all then proceed to mafia beat the living bejesus outa Asylum once again)
TONY ROSS: Oh my! If someone doesn't stop these bunch of cowards soon, Asylum's gonna find himself resting up in a DIFFERENT kind of hospital!
JAKE SHADES: Yeah, more like a morgue!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: What are they going to do now? OH MY GOD! They just dragged him outside of the ring.....They just put Asylum through a table with their Backyard Cataclysm!! Asylum's barely moving now as the BYW all begin leaving through the crowd....
TONY ROSS: And look! Asylum's already starting to get up! What the hell is this man made of?!
(Suddenly Static is heard as the jumbotron comes alive.... suddenly the screech of the ZTV logo bouncing around appears.....)
GOOFY V/O: ZTV!!! ZTVZTVZTVZTVZTVZTVZTVZTVZTVZTV!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
(CUTTO: Black and white footage, set in an old time church. Camera pans around a choir of nun's standing in the pews singing "Amazing Grace" for about 30 seconds before focusing on one particular Sister who's face is obscured by her habit.....)
NUN: (in harmony with others) Ieeee Onceeee was looooooost. But nooooow am fooound. Was blind but now I seeeeeeeee. (with a sigh, the mystery nun pulls her hat out of her face revealing her to be....DAISY!!! Transmission fades to static before fading out completely!)
JAKE SHADES: So Daisy's decided to have a change of habit eh?
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony look at the expression on Asylum's face! He may be a nut but I've NEVER seen such a crazed look on his face before! Look at how EVERYONE just jumps out of his way as he races backstage in search of the BYW!
TONY ROSS: I sure wouldn't want to be in BYW's shoes when he finally catches up to them! But all that aside, Asylum will get the victory here tonight and advances to the next round of the world title tourney.
JAKE SHADES: Don't you mean the Wicks Invitational?
TONY ROSS: Yeah... whatever.
JAKE SHADES: And another thing, HOW could Asylum be advancing to the next round if he's supposedly abstaining after this match?
VICTOR ALVAREZ: That's true Tony, I forgot about that!
TONY ROSS: Yeah, so did I..... I guess the Front Office will have to put their heads together and come up with a solution there. Anyhow, it's time for another commercial break so we'll be right back shortly with more FWF BattleGround action!
(FADE TO: a promo of PWI featuring Black Sage's latest editorial, "Wrestling On Thin Ice"..... FADE OUT....)
(FADE BACK TO: The broad cast booth......)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: That Asylum match was one helluva wild one! It still amazes me the amount of punishment that he can endure!
JAKE SHADES: That's not half as amazing as the fact that someone actually thinks you have enough talent to have this job!
TONY ROSS: Jake, for your information, Victor and I were here defending you when you against Data's criticisms! The least you can do is show some appreciation!
JAKE SHADES: Why should I? I didn't ask for your help! You saw an opportunity to try and curry favor with me 'cause ya see that "I'M" da man here...... because ya saw that Wicks recognized my talents and rewarded me with this HUGE desk..... because ya both finally got what ya deserved, to suffer humuliation in yer little grade school chairs....
VICTOR ALVAREZ: I can't believe I ever stuck up for you today!
JAKE SHADES: I can, but do you think I really care?
VICTOR ALVAREZ: I could car..... (interrupted)
JAKE SHADES: I DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK!!!! HAHAHHAHHA!!
TONY ROSS: Forget it Victor, he's a lost case!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Enjoy it while you can Jake.... Tony, I'm receiving word that there's some commotion backstage.... we're going to cut to them now so we can pick up the action....
(CUTTO: Otis "The Periscope" Sawyer as he inconspicuousy hides behind a large trash can doing what he does best..... SPYING!!
Asylum is seen sitting on a bench in his dressing room, obviously still upset over what transpired during his match as he removes his boots and flings them across the room in anger! Suddenly, out of nowhere, Darren McMillan appears and grabs Asylum from behind and places a dripping rag over his mouth..... Asylum struggles briefly but begins to quickly fade.... within seconds, Asylum is out cold on the floor. Soon after, Black Sage enters the room pushing the covered stretcher they had earlier. Once inside, DMC removes the cloth cover on the stretcher to reveal several medical instuments. Among them are several scalples, a defribrillator, a small handsaw w/interchangable blades, some sewing needles, a few spools of dental floss, some leather belts, rubber gloves and some white buckets with biohazard stickers labled "blood collection." From off screen, McMillian returns and hands Sage a large medical text entitled "Lobotomies for Dumbies" as he goes and shuts Asylum's dressing room door..... CUT BACK TO: the broadcast booth....)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: OH MY GOD! What're those lunatics going to do to Asylum!? As if he hasn't gone through enough already!
JAKE SHADES: Obviously he HASN'T gone through enough..... but it looks like he soon will! AHAHAHAAAAAAA
VICTOR ALVAREZ: You heartless BASTARD!!
JAKE SHADES: Yep! That BEES me!
TONY ROSS: Well, it looks like we'll be doing a "watch and wait" with these lunatics, so until then, let's go to our next match.....
(CUTTO: Paul Kramer and center ring....)
PAUL KRAMER: Our next match-up features first......
(CUE UP: "The Thin Line" by Queensryche......)
PAUL KRAMER: From Seattle WA, weighing 240 pounds..... he's the #13 seed..... he's NEMESIS!!!
(Crowd pops as Nemesis appears wearing a black muscle shirt, standard black wrestling pants and wrestling boots. He caters to the fans, slapping hands and signing autographs as he makes his way to the ring....)
PAUL KRAMER: And his opponent..... weighing 275 pounds and hailing from the Suburban Jungle....
(CUE UP: "Coffee Mug" by the Descendents....)
PAUL KRAMER: He's the #6 seed.... MAXWELL HOOOOUUZZ!!!
(Fans react with mixed reactions as Maxwell Houz appears in his usual torn up cordouroys, sleeveless T-shirt and army boots. Noticeably missing is Rusti Spears as he makes his way purposefully to the ring, stopping momentarily by the broadcast booth to glare hard at Jake Shades....)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: OH MAN! Did you SEE the look he gave Jake!?
TONY ROSS: (chuckling...) I certainly did! Jake if looks could kill you'd be dead right now!
JAKE SHADES: What can I say? I can't help it if Rusti saw the light and left that LOSER for me! I mean can you blame her?? Hell, where I come from, if he'd look at me like that I'd KICK HIS ASS so hard he'd be wearing them for shoulders!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Jake.... He DID look at you like that so why don't you back up those words now!
JAKE SHADES: Nothing would give me greater pleasure..... HOWEVER, since this is NOT where I come from, I'll cut him some slack!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Typical cowardly Shades response! They lock up in the middle of the ring.... Nemesis with an arm drag take down surprises Houz who jumps right back up to his feet! Houz immediately charges again and this time HE surprised Nemesis and spears him down to the mat!
JAKE SHADES: Did you say "Spear" him down? Heheheheh I guess he's still in mourning!
TONY ROSS: Yeah, something we may be in soon for YOU once Houz gets through with YOU! Houz pulls Nemesis up with a handful of hair and whips him to the ropes... NO REVERSAL BY NEMESIS AND HOUZ IS HURLED TO THE ROPES!! Nemesis leap frogs over a rushing Houz! Houz off the opposite ropes..... Nemesis with a big boot to the face... HOUZ CATCHES IT AND SPINS HIM AROUND..... ATOMIC DROP BY HOUZ SENDS NEMESIS HOPPING IN PAIN!
JAKE SHADES: Talk about your DEEP enemas!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Houz reaches over and grabs a hold of Nemesis.... sets him up for a suplex..... BLOCKED BY NEMESIS! Houz tries it again... BLOCKED AGAIN BY NEMESIS!! Now Nemesis goes for the suplex... He's got Houz up.... and Houz twists in mid-air and lands BEHIND Nemesis.... BACK SUPLEX INTO A BRIDGE BY HOUZ.... 1.... 2... KICK OUT BY NEMESIS!
TONY ROSS: Houz nearly had it won there.... Houz bum rushes Nemesis into the corner.... a series of rights and lefts staggers Nemesis... AND NEMESIS SPINS HOUZ AROUND AND STARTS LEVELING HOUZ WITH LEFTS AND RIGHTS OF HIS OWN! He climbs on the second rope and points to the fans who urge him on to beat on Houz....
JAKE SHADES: That damn fool.... instead of catering to these idiot fans he should just let loose on Houz!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Not that I agree with your way of thinking, but I DO think it's a mistake for him also.... he's just wasting time in there against a VERY dangerous ring veteran!
TONY ROSS: OH!! Nemesis just paid the price for his inexperience as Houz just low-blowed him off the ropes! Houz is relentless now as he pounces on the fallen Nemesis! Houz sits on Nemesis's back and applies a rear chin lock..... Nemesis yells out in pain.....
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Take a good look Jake... that could be YOU pretty soon!
JAKE SHADES: Bite me!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony look! Nemesis is trying to get to his knees.... LISTEN TO THE FANS CHEER HIM ON!! He's got one knee up.... now the other... AND HE FLIPS HOUZ OVER!! Now Nemesis looks to have gotten his second wind! Houz charges with a wild round house right... BLOCKED BY NEMESIS! Nemesis staggers Houz with a European uppercut... and another... AND ANOTHER! Houz is teetering now... DROP KICK BY NEMESIS SENDS MAXWELL HOUZ FLYING INTO THE CORNER!
TONY ROSS: Houz looks to be in trouble now as he hangs on to the ropes..... Nemesis senses victory and rushes in for the kill.... ELBOW TO HOUZ's JAW NEARLY DECAPITATES HOUZ! Nemesis pulls Houz out of the corner.... he hooks Houz's arm... he's going for a suplex... REVERSE NECK BREAKER BY HOUZ!! Houz with the cover.... 1... 2... 3! NO! Kickout by Nemesis!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: No! Nemesis didn't kick out in time!! Referee Stu Fields is calling for the bell.... He raises Houz's arm up... That's it! Maxwell Houz has beaten Nemesis and goes on to the next round of the World Tourney!
JAKE SHADES: If you ask me, I think Houz paid off Stu Fields!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: OH STOP IT! You're just saying that because Houz is gonna give ya a beat down for messing with his woman!
TONY ROSS: I tell you Victor, I'm impressed with this guy Nemesis, he may have lost tonight, but he has absolutely NO reason to hang his head! He fought a VERY competitive match against one of the FWF's PREMIERE atheletes and I see a bright future for him here!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: I agree Tony.... and the fans seem to just love him also!
JAKE SHADES: If the fans love him then he is TRULY doomed!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: In your warped mind maybe.... Tony, I've just received word that Sage and McMillan have been spotted again... let's send the action back to Otis....
(CUTTO: Otis "The Periscope" Sawyer as he continues to spy on Sage and McMillan back in Asylum's dressing room...... Asylum is now strapped upright to the stretcher by several leather belts, but still out cold. Black Sage is now wearing a flashlight belt on his forehead and McMillan has about eight stethoscopes around his neck.
BLACK SAGE: Asylum, I don't know if you can hear me or not...but you'll have to trust us that this lobotomy is going to be the best thing for you.
McMILLAN: Yeah, I mean we can't have a mental case running around swinging barbed wire bats at the National Champion!
BLACK SAGE: ...and to think, that after all I've done for you...from our classic at "Total Conquest" right on down through my offering you a Naional Title shot, this is how it has to be!
McMILLAN: Don't worry, Asylum. After this...you won't have any more painful memories of Daisy, and you won't need to gobble medication by the truckload! Dr. Sage is gonna fix you up good, and you'll up and running for that National Title shot before you know it!
BLACK SAGE: This is just a precursor to our future battles. Basically, we can't have your mind all cluttered up with the delusions of mental sickness, when your main focus should be your big title shot. I need you to have your head clear when we meet again, so I'm afraid this is our only option. I just hope you won't hate me for it down the road.
McMILLAN: ...and remember Asylum, *science* is GOD! It can't fail!
BLACK SAGE: (turns to DMC) You can go ahead and prep the patient now, nurse.
McMILLAN: Nurse!? I thought we were partners in this practice!
BLACK SAGE: Oh yeah, right...well then, go ahead *doctor*. (nods to DMC)
McMILLAN: Doctor. (nods to Sage)
BLACK SAGE: Doctor. (nods to DMC)
McMILLAN: Doctor. (nods to Sage)
BLACK SAGE: Doctor. (starts to nod, but...) Oh, f*** medical etiquette! Prep the patient!
(Darren McMillan pulls out an electric razor and shaves back a small area of Asylum's hair. After wiping away the last stray hairs, he then swabs the area with alcohol. Meanwhile, Black Sage is tearing through the medical supplies on the stretcher.)
McMILLAN: What's wrong?
BLACK SAGE: I forgot about painkillers.
McMILLAN: Oh...well, here! (McMillan reaches into his pocket and pulls out a 2-pack of asprin. He carefully rips the package in half, removes the pills, and places them into Asylum's mouth) There you go! Problem solved, *doctor*.
BLACK SAGE: Good work, *doctor*. Let's begin, shall we?
(Sage reaches for a scalple, but opts for the small handsaw instead. He quickly replaces the blade with a much smaller one, and turns the saw on. As it buzzes loudly, McMillan and Sage both put on rubber gloves and goggles. From there, Sage grabs the saw and approaches Asylum..... Suddenly McMillan and Sage spot Otis "The Periscope" Sawyer spying on them and rush him..... in a matter of seconds, the transmission is lost and we get nothing but static! CUT BACK TO: the broadcast booth.....)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: These guys are absolutely NUTS!
JAKE SHADES: I thought Asylum was the nutcase around here?
VICTOR ALVAREZ: SHUT UP JAKE!! (reaches for the phone and starts dialing....)
TONY ROSS: Who're you calling?
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Dammit! No one's answering at security! The hell with this! (dials another number. After a few moments he begins yelling into the phone....) "Listen up Otis! This is Victor Alvarez from the Broadcast Booth! I need you to go find either of the FWF Co-Owners.... yeah Either Malec or LeBron....... that's right, when you find them, tell them what's going on with Sage and McMillan! ..... This is NO time to think about capturing "Cameraman" awards OTIS! Okay, then find someone and have them find Malec or LeBron! And HURRY UP BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!!" (Slams the phone down!)
JAKE SHADES: (grinning broadly....)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: What the hell are YOU grinning at?
JAKE SHADES: Well, I may have that Coffee Freak Houz after me, but after making that call, you'll have National Champion Black Sage and Tag Team Champion Darren McMillan after YOU!! How does it feel to be a marked man? HAHAHAHAHAH!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: (a look of horror comes over his face as the realization suddenly sets in....) Oh my GOD!!... what have I done? Those guys are lunatics! If they do THAT to Asylum, I can imagine what they'll do to ME?!
JAKE SHADES: Yeah, but don't worry, I'll be with you all the way.... 'cause I wouldn't miss that BEATING for the world! HHAHAHAHAAAA!
TONY ROSS: Um... Victor, don't worry.... um...you did the right thing! I think.... anyhow while we ponder on that, let's break for a brief word from our sponsor......
(CUTTO: Promo for Bowflex.....)
(FADE BACK TO: somewhere back stage where we see Nevada Smith just about to enter his dressing room when out of nowhere a figure appears, his back to us and starts hitting Nevada Smith repeatedly with chair shots to the back of the head.... as Nevada lays on the floor stunned, the figure bends over him and yells out.... "it's nothing personal, that's just the price you pay for being Jean Rabesque's friend!!" As he turns to leave, he walks straight up to the camera, pressing his face almost upon it, and we see that it is none other than Minion.... a crazed maniacal look in his eyes as he begins laughing hysterically.... FADE BACK TO: The broadcast booth....)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Has EVERYONE gone completely insane here tonight?!
TONY ROSS: I was thinking the EXACT same thing, I just wonder if Nevada will be able to wrestle tonight as I believe he's scheduled next..... Anyhow, I'm sure we'll soon find out as I see Paul Kramer is ready for the.....(interrupted....)
(Suddenly the fans start reacting as someone begins to make their way down the aisle......)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony?? Is that who I think it is?
TONY ROSS: It looks like FWF Co-Owner Scott Malec!
(FWF Co-Owner Scott Malec emerges from behind the curtain, limping slightly from the fall he took during his last mic spot. His Armani suit is wrinkled, his tie, unraveled, as he looks obviously flustered from the evenings' events. He takes the mic from Paul Kramer)
SCOTT MALEC: You know, I feel like I owe an explanation to all the fans out there as to how a guy like Michael Manson was able to take power in the FWF. Let's go back to before Wargames at the last Pay-Per-View. Abel Wicks challenged me to put an executive position on the line as an incentive for his team. And I, being fully confident in the abilities of Stone Wolf, Nevada Smith, Jean Rabesque, and Billy Matthews...I accepted. And as expected, they won. The stipulation was supposed to be if Abel Wicks team won, he would be able to put in an executive of his own choosing, which was written in plain English on the original contract. BUT, this other stipulation, the one that stated that Wicks had to be pinned in order for his executive order not to pass...I don't know where this came from. I don't remember seeing it on the original contract, and I say ORIGINAL, because I believe this contract is a farce! (Malec pulls the contract out of his pocket) Yes, it does say that Wicks had to be pinned...but I think this is a fake, and was altered from the original! (crowd reacts) So, my lawyers and my investigators are going to pour over this contract and look for the tell-tale flaws, and an exhaustive search for the original will be conducted, since my copy was STOLEN from my office! Probably by Manson himself when he decided to pay me a visit! So Manson, enjoy your little game while it lasts, because we're onto your crap!"
(Malec angrily leaves the ring to the cheers.....)
JAKE SHADES: OH GIVE ME A (BLEEP) BREAK!! Ya lost FAIR AND SQUARE to the better man so stop WHINING MALEC!!
TONY ROSS: Whining is more YOUR style Jake! I for one believe Malec!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING FISHY GOING ON!!
JAKE SHADES: MAN! You two are just pissed because Manson recognized the TRUE talent in ME! You're just jealous because you've been demoted to commentating from those two tiny school chairs! So you'll obviously say ANYTHING, and believe ANYTHING!
TONY ROSS: Jake... to use your own words.... BITE ME!! Take it away Paul!
(FADE TO: center ring....)
PAUL KRAMER: Are you ready for our next world title match? (crowd pops) First, from Long Island, NYC, weighing 320 pounds.....
(CUE UP: Iron Man...)
PAUL KRAMER: He's the #16 seed.... RICKY "THE TANK" O'NEILL!!
(Fans react with a mixture of boos and cheers as Ricky O'Neill makes his way down to the ring.....)
PAUL KRAMER: And his opponent, weighing 265 pounds, hailing from where ever the hell he wants to.....
(CUE UP: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly by Ennio Marricone....)
PAUL KRAMER: He's the #3 seed and former 2-Time National Champion.... NEVADAAAAA SMIIIITH!!
(Fans roar wildly, but there is no Nevada.... moments go by and still no Nevada, then suddenly an enraged Nevada EXPLODES from behind the curtains! He staggers drunkenly down the entrance ramp, bleeding from the back of the head from where Minion attacked him with the chair just moments ago. Nevada stumbles momentarily as he nears the ring apron.....)
TONY ROSS: For a minute there I thought Minion's attack may have prevented Nevada from showing tonight, but it has obviously taken its toll on Nevada! This match is IMMEDIATELY underway as Nevada rolls underneath the ropes into the ring and they immediately start trading blows! Nevada though obviously hurt, is in a foul mood after just being attacked by Minion just moments before! Nevada rarely the smaller man, has his hands full with the Tank! OH! Right hand by O'Neill staggers Nevada back a few feet! Tank pushes Nevada against the ropes.... whips him into the ropes... NO!! NEVADA STOPS SHORT.... SHORT ARM CLOTHESLINE BY NEVADA STAGGERS TANK BACK... ANOTHER CLOTHESLINE BUT TANK STILL DOESN'T GO DOWN!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Nevada winds up with a wild uppercut.... AND TANK FINALLY GOES DOWN!! Nevada jumps on top of Tank and starts choking him!! Referee Sal Putz in Nevada's face trying to get him to break the hold... and Nevada shoves Putz away!!
TONY ROSS: Nevada better watch his temper or he's liable to get DQ'd for laying hands on the ref! Sal Putz gets back in Nevada's face and he and Nevada start jawing! OH! LEFT HOOK BY TANK SENDS NEVADA SPRAWLING TO THE MAT!! That split second of jawing with the ref cost Nevada! Tank is up now and he pulls Nevada to his feet..... a twist of Nevada's arm drops Nevada to one knee!
JAKE SHADES: Hehehehehe, maybe Nevada shoulda stayed in the back licking his "Minion" wounds....
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Nevada doesn't know the meaning of surrender.... Tank applies some more pressure and Nevada reaches underneath his legs and trips up Tank! Tank falls back and Nevada connects with a knee drop to the skull! And another... AND ANOTHER!! Tank is in obvious pain now as Nevada starts taking control!! Nevada kisses his own fist before burying it into Tank's face!
TONY ROSS: Look at Nevada's expression.... he looks like a man possessed! Nevada leaps on Tank.... and he's BITING HIM!! NEVADA'S BITING TANK ON THE FOREHEAD!! Tank tries to break away but Nevada will have none of it as he hangs on like a bull terrier!!
JAKE SHADES: This Tank guy better go get checked for rabies after this match!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: The referee is threatening to DQ Nevada if he doesn't release Tank.... and Nevada FINALLY stops biting Tank! LOOK AT THE BLOOD ON TANK'S FACE!! His face is a crimson mask!
JAKE SHADES: Crimson mask? What kind of talk is that?! Just say he's bleeding like a stuffed pig!
TONY ROSS: Nevada pulls Tank to his feet.... he scoops him up .... TANK BLOCKS IT!! AND TANK SCOOPS NEVADA UP AND POWER SLAMS HIM!! HE COVERS... 1...2... KICK OUT BY NEVADA!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tank with a leg drop... MISSES!! Nevada rolls away and kicks Tank in the face! Tank staggers but somehow manages to get to his feet..... Nevada with a side headlock... Tank lifts him up... BACK SUPLEX BY TANK! Tank follows that up with a series of elbow drops!! Tank taking back control here.... he walks to the corner .... Nevada slow to get up..... Tank is climbing to the top turnbuckle..... Nevada up on one knee... TANK LEAPS OFF THE TOP TURNBUCKLE!!! NEVADA CATCHES HIM IN MIDAIR AND POWER SLAMS HIM!! He hooks the leg.... 1... 2... NO! KICKOUT BY TANK!!
TONY ROSS: I thought Nevada had him there! Tank just refuses to go down here... Nevada kicks him several times again before pulling him to his feet.... whips him across the ring into the ropes.... Nevada with a back body drop... UH OH! HE TELEGRAPHED IT AND TANK SCOOPS NEVADA UP FOR JACKNIFE POWER SLAM....
VICTOR ALVAREA: NEVADA HANGS ON AND CONNECTS WITH A SERIES OF HARD LEFTS TO TANK's BLEEDING FOREHEAD.... TANK IS STAGGERING... AND HE FALLS BACK WITH NEVADA LANDING RIGHT ON TOP OF HIM!! NEVADA HOOKS THE LEG.... 1.... 2.... 3!!! NEVADA SMITH GETS THE WIN AND ADVANCES TO THE NEXT ROUND OF THE WORLD TITLE TOURNEY!!
JAKE SHADES: That looked like a fast count if you ask me!
TONY ROSS: I think Tank agrees also! He just nailed Nevada from behind with an elbow to the head! Nevada goes down and referee Sal Putz steps in and TANK JUST CHOKE SLAMMED THE REF!!
JAKE SHADES: Serves him right for that fast count!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tank is going crazy out there! He just tossed Nevada Smith over the top rope and Nevada landed flat on his back on the hard ground!
TONY ROSS: I don't think Nevada has fully recovered from that sneak attack from Minion right before this match... Nevada is in obvious pain here.... Tank drops outside and scoops Nevada up.... OH MY GOD!! He's got Nevada in a sleeper hold.... he lifts him up... HE'S GOING FOR HIS FINISHER THE DISCHARGE!!
JAKE SHADES: Yeah! Do it! DO IT!!
(Suddenly an small older looking man jumps out from behind the barricade and runs up to Tank O'Neill...)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony! Somebody just jumped out of the crowd.... I've seen him before .... that's Tank O'Neill's new manager, Leutenant Dan! He's yelling at Tank to put Nevada down... AND HE DOES! Tank O'Neill releases Nevada who drops to his knees!
JAKE SHADES: DAMN! I WANTED TO SEE NEVADA GET DISCHARED!! WHAT A (BLEEP) GIP!!
TONY ROSS: This Leutenant Dan seems to be admonishing Tank... LOOK!! He grabs Tank by the ear and leads him back to the dressing room!
JAKE SHADES: Oh brother! Now I've seen everything!!
TONY ROSS: Indeed... and none too soon either as Nevada has recovered now and is looking for pay back! Fans, it's time for yet another commercial break but don't stray too far because we'll be right back with some more FWF action!
(FADE TO: A promo for the newly formed NWWA....)
(FADE BACK TO: backstage to FWF President Joe LeBron's office. LeBron is at his desk, and looks lost in thought. After a breif second, we hear a loud, rapid knock at the door. LeBron, apparently unenthused, turns around and pours himself a glass of cognac from the bar behind his desk...sips it, puts it back, and announces for whomever is there to "Come In!". From the hallway, one of the building's janitors nervously enters.)
JANITOR: Excuse me, you're Mr. LeBron, right?
LEBRON: For the time being.
JANITOR: Well, there's something going on down the hallway. (the janitor looks around the room for something) I don't know if you had the TV on or not, but they kicked that cameraman out of there. He's the one who told me to get some help. I-ah, had asked that guy Manson...but he sent me to you.
LEBRON: Can you just tell me what in the hell's going on!? I'm a very busy man!
JANITOR: Well, a couple of your guys are attempting to perform some kind of surgery in one of the locker-rooms on one of your other wrestlers. I don't know if it's part of the show, but it ain't sounding so good!
LEBRON: (jumps to his feet) WHAT!? WHO!?
JANITOR: Someone called the "New Breed"! That's all I know!
LEBRON: NO! Who are they doing this to!?
JANITOR: I don't know their names! It's dressing room number 13!
(LeBron anxiously skims through some papers in front of him on the desk)
LEBRON: Thirteen!? That's Asylum! Take me down there! RIGHT NOW! QUICK! C'mon, lead the way!
(In a flash, LeBron chases the janitor out of the room and up the hallway. Just as we cut back to ringside, the camera pans and catches a glimpse of a dartboard w/ Michael Manson's face on it..... CUT BACK TO: the broadcast booth....)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: First LeBron gets attacked by Bad Company earlier today and now this?!
JAKE SHADES: Yeah! Ain't it wonderful!? It couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.... well, actually, it woulda been better if it happened to Malec!
TONY ROSS: Scott Malec has his shares of lumps tonight also! He's suffered an injured ankle when he was pushed out of the ring earlier and well this "Contract" conspiracy with Manson, well, let's just say that so far it's been a VERY long night for Malec AND LeBron!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: And the night's far from over as we send it back to Paul Kramer for the next match.....
(CUT TO: Center ring and Paul Kramer....)
PAUL KRAMER: For the next match in this world title tournament.... first, from Osaka Japan and weighing 261 pounds....
(CUE UP: Never Ending You Line by Nora....)
PAUL KRAMER: He's seeded #11... He's the SUICIDE KING!!!
(A HUGE ball of flames explodes out of the entrance-way followed by the mixed reactions of the fans as Suicide King appears barefoot at the entrance ramp, wearing his black karate pants...he's accompanied by Missy and he initiates a series of karate moves before heading to the ring.....)
PAUL KRAMER: And his opponent.... weighing 235 pounds and hailing from NYC......
(CUE UP: Where Boys Fear to Tread by Smashing Pumpkins.....)
PAUL KRAMER: He's seeded #8... he's MINION!!!
(Fans immediately begin to boo and toss debris as Minion appears.... Minion laughs at them and flips them off as he arrogantly makes his way to the ring.....)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Minion is certainly calling attention to himself lately .... particularly with Rabesque and Nevada! How smart that is still remains to be seen.
JAKE SHADES: What would YOU know about smart, you're a LOSER!
TONY ROSS: SUICIDE KING IMMEDIATELY ATTACKS MINION!! A quick boot to the gut knocks the wind out of Minion! He whips Minion to the turnbuckle..... heads over to the opposite corner...... Suicide King charges a couple of steps, does two front handsprings, spins backward with his elbow extended, and connects to Minion's face!
VICTOR ALVARLEZ: WHAT AN OPENING MOVE BY SUICIDE KING!! Minion is disoriented.... he stumbles forward a few steps.... AND FALLS FLAT ON HIS FACE!! Suicide King has taken the upper hand very early in this match! King waits for Minion to get to his feet.... flying headscissors take down sends Minion sprawling to the mat! King raises his arms in the air as he starts celebrating....
TONY ROSS: Not a wise move against an opponent as dangerous as Minion.... King walks over to Minion, grabs a handful of hair and motions to the fans with a clenched fist.... OH!! LOW BLOW BY MINION!!
JAKE SHADES: There ya go! Go celebrate on that you FOOL!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Suicide King wasted entirely too much time and payed the price for it.... Minion slowly gets to his feet, soccer kick to the thigh by Minion sends Suicide King to the mat! Minion continues focusing on taking out King's wheels as he drives both knees into his thigh!
JAKE SHADES: Just goes to show you how smart the man is!
TONY ROSS: His intelligence was never in question, just his cowardice! Minion pulls Suicide King up to his feet.... OH MY! HE JUST STOMPED ON SUICIDE KING's BARE FOOT WITH THE HEEL OF HIS BOOT!! Suicide King is hopping around holding his foot!
JAKE SHADES: It's about someone made a statement to these "bare" foot wrestlers "stinking" up the joint! HAHAHAHAAA!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: ...... DROP KICK BY MINION SENDS SUICIDE KING FLYING THROUGH THE ROPES AND OUT OF THE RING!! Minion quickly follows outside.... AND LOOK AT MISSY!! She jumps in front of Minion pleading with him.... OH NO! Don't tell me he's going to hit her?!
JAKE SHADES: YEAH!! HIT HER!! GIVE IT TO HER LIKE I DID TO THAT SLUT DATA!
TONY ROSS: Um Jake.... Data humiliated you and Rusti Spears came out and saved your worthless hide!
JAKE SHADES: (BLEEP) YOU!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Missy gets down on her knees now and is begging Minion for mercy! Minion yanks her to her feet by the hair and tosses her roughly aside! Suicide King to his feet.... he reaches over and grabs a refreshment from one of the nearby fans.... he waits for Minion to turn.... Minion turns.... Suicide King tosses the refreshment at Minion! It hits Minion right between the eyes and explodes on impact! Minion is temporarily blinded as Suicide King whips him toward the safety.... Minion strikes the safety rail HARD and topples over the safety rail into the crowd. Suicide King quickly grabs hold of two chairs and slides into the ring. He places one in the middle of the ring and one on top of the turnbuckle.
JAKE SHADES: C'mon ref... OPEN YER DAMN EYES!! DQ HIM!!
TONY ROSS: Ref Stu Fields is allowing a bit of latitude here due to the importance of the match..... Suicide King jumps back outside just as Minion straddles the guardrail.... King drags Minion over the rail and back into the ring.... a few punches to Minion's gut to help soften him up a bit.... Now Suicide King is tying Minion up on the ropes in the corner.... Minion is helpless now as referee Stu Fields tries to untie him from the corner.... Suicide King races over to the opposite corner.... Stu Fields almost has Minion free.... King rushes toward the first chair and leaps off it like a springboard..... twisting somersault senton by Suicide King!! MINION IS FREE AND SHOVES STU FIELDS IN THE WAY!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: OH MY GOD!! SUICIDE KING LANDED ON REFEREE STU FIELDS!! STU FIELDS IS OUT COLD!! Minion drops down to the outside and reaches through the ropes and pulls Suicide King out! And they're slugging it out like two street fighter! Neither of them giving an inch!
JAKE SHADES: C'mon Minion... Kick his ASS!!
TONY ROSS: They're fighting their way up the ramp toward the jumbotron stage..... Minion staggers Suicide King with a chop across the throat and tosses Suicide King off the stage into the pit..... Suicide King jumps up at the last second and grabs onto the bottom support beam of the Jumbotron..... swings forward up into a perfect handstand on the support beam.... and he drops HEAD FIRST ONTO MINION!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: What an INCREDIBLE display of balance by Suicide King!
JAKE SHADES: Crap! He got lucky that's all!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Suicide King is the first to get up.... Minion is still dazed... and LOOK OUT!! Someone just burst from behind the curtains... IT'S PESTILENCE!! He just nailed Suicide King with a garbage can to the head!! Pestilence and Minion are laying waste to Suicide King! I can't believe this! I'm getting word that there's some action going on backstage... we have to cut back there....
(CUTTO: ....backstage where we see FWF Co-Owner Scott Malec and Maxwell Houz standing back behind the curtain.....)
MALEC: You see what's going on out there? You want to show me that you are a bigtime player in this league?"
(Houz nods)
MALEC: Then get your ass out there and kick that maniac's ass from one end to the other!!"
(Carmera fades out as Maxwell Houz runs out...... CUT BACK TO: the broad cast booth and the match in progress...)
TONY ALVAREZ: It looks as if Malec is fed up and is going to make a statement here tonight, and it couldn't have come at a better time... Uh OH! Missy just jumped on Minion's back and is clawing at him.... OH! MINION JUST FLIPPED HER OVER AND SHE FLEW OFF THE STAGE INTO THE PIT!! MISSY ISN'T MOVING!!
JAKE SHADES: Hey, see what happens when you get involved in stuff that isn't your business? Much like what YOU did Victor when you dropped a dime on the New Breed earlier.... Just "Shades" of things to expect... HAHAHAHAH!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Minion doesn't even care that he could have possibly injured Missy.... He and Pestilence just continue with their beat down on Suicide King! AND HERE COMES MAXWELL HOUZ WITH HIS TRADEMARK THERMOS OF COFFEE!! HE JUST SMASHED IT OVER PESTILENCE'S HEAD AND SCALDING COFFEE FLIES EVERYWHERE!! Minion grabs and holds Maxwell Houz while Pestilence measures him for a double axehandle... HOUZ DUCKS AND PESTILENCE JUST STRUCK MINION!! Houz dropkicks Pestilence off the stage and he falls into the pit near Missy!
JAKE SHADES: C'mon ref DQ Suicide King!
TONY ROSS: I'm sure he would DQ someone were he conscious! Maxwell Houz scoops up Minion... and he's going to toss him into the pit... LOOK OUT!! Here comes Michael Manson and Abel Wicks! They attack Houz before he can dump Minion into the pit! Now all three of them lay the boots on Maxwell Houz... Maxwell Houz is out!! He's not moving! Now they turn their attention to Suicide King and drag him back inside the ring.... Manson and Wicks hold Suicide King while Minion uses him as a punching bag.....
JAKE SHADES: YEAH!! DO HIM IN MINION!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: TONY! SOMEONE ELSE JUST RAN DOWN THE AISLE! IT'S NEVADA SMITH AND HE HAS A BAMBOO CANE! HE SLIDES INTO THE RING AND CLOBBERS MINION ACROSS THE BACK WITH IT!! Minion crumbles to the mat! He swings at Manson who ducks and leaps out of the ring! Now he's got Wicks trapped in the corner.... Nevada slowly approaches and rears back with an overhand swing.... JUST BARELY MISSES WICKS AS HE FALLS THROUGH THE ROPES!! Nevada steps halfway through the ropes to give chase but Wicks and Manson are already racing away!
JAKE SHADES: WHAT KIND OF CRAP IS THIS!? THIS IS NONE OF NEVADA's BUSINESS!
TONY ROSS: It became his business the moment Minion attacked him tonight! Nevada turns and sees Minion trying to get up.... OH!! HE JUST BROKE THAT BAMBOO CANE OVER MINION'S HEAD!! MINION IS OUT COLD!! Nevada drags Suicide King over and drops him across Minion's chest! He drops out of the ring and tries to wake up the Stu Fields.... Fields finally comes to just as Nevada leaves.....
JAKE SHADES: NO! THAT's NOT FAIR!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: You weren't singing that une earlier when Minion was getting the helping hand... Fields sees the pin and crawls over to them.... 1....
JAKE SHADES: NO!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: 2.....
JAKE SHADES: NOOOOOOO!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: .....3!! Suicide King gets the decision and advances to the next round!
JAKE SHADES: This is crap! Malec got involved in this so it shouldn't count! It's an absolute travesty! An abuse of power I say!
TONY ROSS: And what would you call Manson's involvement?
JAKE SHADES: NOT ENOUGH APPARENTLY!
TONY ROSS: (laughing) I have to agree with you there! So Nevada got some measure of payback on Minion as he helped to even the odds, along with Maxwell Houz in this match. Fans, we'll be right back with our next match!
(FADE TO: A promo for the FWF Website at http://fade.to/fwf )
(FADE BACK TO: Back stage where we see FWF Pres. Joe LeBron pounding on Asylum's locker-room door, but we can barely hear the rapping sounds over the sounds of a saw and a man's screams inside! The janitor, still with Lebron, looks on nervously......)
LEBRON: Open this god-damn door!
JANITOR: I don't think they can hear you!
LEBRON: I was talking to YOU, you idiot! Don't you have a key!?
JANITOR: No, only the building supervisor has a key!
LEBRON: Well go get him...and QUICK!
(As the janitor runs off, Michael Manson casually approaches, wearing different pants than earlier and enjoying a "Snickers" bar.)
LEBRON: MICHAEL! Where the (BLEEP) have you been during all this?! (grabs Manson by the collar) I need you to run down to the EMT station! Grab the FWF physician and whatever EMT's are available!
MANSON: Well...I'd like to, but I'm not really headed that way.
LEBRON: WHAT?! What the (BLEEP) do you mean you're not headed that way?! If you value this new position of yours you BETTER head to the EMT station NOW!
MANSON: You make it sound like we got a big breasted blonde named Bambi working down there!
LEBRON: If we *had* a big breasted blonde named Bambi down there, *I'D* go, but that ain't the case!
MANSON: You smell like liquor...or Joe Massacre, I can't tell the difference.
LEBRON: Oh cut the (BLEEP) crap already! (adjusts his tie) I *need* you to go to the damn EMT station now...so God damn it! Just do it! We have trouble here!
MANSON: Tell you what, since you're so persistant (pulls out a cellphone) I'll call Bueno Excellente's dressing room and he'll help you out on this one if he's around. (Manson starts dialing) He's right next to the EMT station anyway, but you better not forget about Bueno's contribution when you book your next show! (the phone is ringing) Ya' know, you've never really given Bueno a chance to prove his worth. I think this'll be good for the both of you. (Bueno answers, & in fluent Spanish, Manson explains the situation to him and hangs up) He's on it, Joe! No need to worry.
(Just as Manson speaks the word "worry", the driving sound of the handsaw ceases. From inside we here what sounds like Sage saying "oops", and a second later a stream of blood runs out from under Asylum's dressing room door. Then, just as LeBron starts pounding on the door again in a panic, the deafening sound of the handsaw continues, followed by more screams.)
MANSON: Hey! Joe! (Manson pulls LeBron away from pounding on the door) That FWF physician... where's he from?
LEBRON: Pakistan. WHY!?
MANSON: (cringes) Hmm...that might pose some sort of a communication problem with Bueno.
LEBRON: WHAT!?
(Camera fades back to the broadcast booth as LeBron goes off on a tirade with Manson merely smiling back at him....)
JAKE SHADES: It looks like LeBron is having a heart attack! HAHAHAHAA!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Yeah... I know the feeling, it comes from working with incompetents!
JAKE SHADES: Speaking of incompetents, where's Malec throughout all this?
TONY ROSS: No doubt trying to straighten out this Manson Contract nonsense! However, knowing Malec, I'm sure we'll hear from him soon enough.... right now we're ready for our next match so let's go to Paul Kramer....
(CUTTO: Center ring.....)
PAUL KRAMER: Our next match up will feature, first at 238 pounds from Death Valley CA....
(CUE UP: God Bless The Bums by Comeshot....)
PAUL KRAMER: He's the #12 seed.... he's GOOOOOLEM!!!
(Fans boo loudly as the man with the green body fur known as Golem steps out from behind the curtains, thrusts his ominious claw into the air and walks arrogantly down to the ring....)
PAUL KRAMER: And his opponent..... weighing 265 pounds from Champaign IL....
(CUE UP: Counterfeit by Limp Bizkit.....)
PAUL KRAMER: He's a former Frontier Champion and seeded #7.... He's RICKY KABE!!
(Fans once again boo loudly as Ricky Kabe appears, flipping off the fans and actually stopping to spit on a fan as he walks to the ring....)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Talk about arrogance! This is going to be VERY interesting! Too intensely hated wrestlers going against each other!
JAKE SHADES: Yeah... what a travesty! Now I don't know who to root for! Oh well, I guess I'll go for Golem.... he's one BAAAD MUTHA!!
TONY ROSS: Golem wastes no time as he pounces on Kabe! Kabe with a drop toe hold takes the charging Golem down! Kabe tries to apply pressure but Golem forces a break with an elbow to the forehead! Kabe staggers back and Golem once again charges..... leap-frog by Kabe..... Golem stops short, turns.... MULE KICK TO THE CHEST SENDS GOLEM DOWN!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: They lock up again....Golem with a bodyslam on Ricky Kabe..... Golem goes for a kick to the midsection, but Ricky Kabe counters it with a dragon screw. Kabe goes for a bearhug, but Golem counters it with a punch to the bridge of his nose! Golem goes for a chokehold, he may be setting Kabe up for the claw.... Ricky Kabe counters it with a kick to the midsection.
TONY ROSS: Uh oh.... looks like we may have company...
(Cameras cut to Billy Matthews and Brian Matthews as they make their way to ringside......)
JAKE SHADES: Yeah, no doubt they'll need at LEAST 3 of them to put Golem away!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Kabe stuns Golem with a double chop to the throat.
(A portion of the crowd begins cheering Ricky Kabe....)
TONY ROSS: Kabe goes for a backbreaker, but Golem blocks it! Golem takes Ricky Kabe down with a DDT! The fans are certainly making it easy to see who they want to win as they boo Golem! Golem hits a kick to the midsection on Ricky Kabe..... follows that up with a double arm DDT. Golem is going for the pin.... Danny Diaper counts: One, two, thr... KICKOUT BY KABE JUST AS BILLY WAS ABOUT TO INTERVENE!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Golem glares Billy down and nails Ricky Kabe with a DDT. And the crowd is once again booing Golem! I don't get it? Golem is the one being double... NO, TRIPLE teamed and HE gets booed?
JAKE SHADES: Just proves what I've always said... the fans are IGNORANT!
TONY ROSS: Golem takes Ricky Kabe down with an inverted atomic drop..... follows that up with a gutwrench suplex. GOLEM is taking control of this match here! He covers again! One, two, kickout. Kabe back to his feet..... Golem with a vertical suplex on Kabe OVER the ropes and on to the Matthews brothers!!
JAKE SHADES: YEAH!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: It's a good thing Billy and Brian were there to break his fall otherwise he may have gotten seriously hurt! Danny Diaper begins his count: one, two, three,.... Kabe reenters the ring.... Golem goes for an inverted atomic drop but Billy reaches in and grabs a hold of his leg..... FRONT FACE DDT BY KABE!! HE COVERS GOLEM!! Diaper with the count: One, two, kickout!
JAKE SHADES: C'mon ref... OPEN YER (BLEEP) EYES!!
TONY ROSS: Ricky Kabe with a bodyslam..... and ANOTHER!! Now Kabe goes for the gutwrench suplex..... but Golem blocks it! Golem whips Kabe into the ropes. Golem misses with an elbow.....Ricky Kabe hits Golem with a clothesline!! Kabe goes for the quick pin.... One, two, shoulder up!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Ricky Kabe executes a back suplex on Golem..... some of the crowd cheers and Ricky Kabe flips them off!? WHAT GALL THIS GUY HAS!
JAKE SHADES: Not exactly the guy I want to win here but I DO have to respect him for THAT!
TONY ROSS: Ricky Kabe whips Golem into the ropes, but Golem reverses it...... Ricky Kabe hits Golem with a knee to the groin! He follows that up with an elbow to the small of the back!!
(Suddenly the crowd begins booing Ricky Kabe now.....)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Looks like the fans have taken a sudden dislike to Kabe... Gee, I wonder why? (sarcastic grin).... Kabe goes for a back suplex, but Golem counters it with a facerake! Golem nails Ricky Kabe with a clothesline..... AND GOLEM IS SIGNALING FOR THE CLAW!! He waits for Kabe to get up.....
JAKE SHADES: GET 'EM GOLEM!
TONY ROSS: Uh OH! Billy just jumped on to the apron and is distracting referee Diaper.... while Brian grabs a chair and circles the ring...
VICTOR ALVAREZ: GOLEM'S GOT IT ON!! HE'S GOT THE CLAW ON RICKY KABE!! LOOKOUT! BRIAN MATTHEWS JUST NAILED GOLEM WITH A CHAIR SHOT TO THE HEAD! GOLEM's DOWN AND THE REF NEVER SAW IT BECAUSE OF BILLY! Billy finally drops down to the outside just as Brian dives outside the ring. Diaper turns and sees Kabe with the cover.... Diaper counts: One, two, kickout by GOLEM!! INCREDIBLE! Golem just refuses to stay down! Now Kabe grabs Diaper by the shirt and complains about a slow count.
JAKE SHADES: If it weren't for Brian, Kabe would be wondering where his tonsils were at this very moment!
TONY ROSS: Kabe goes for a bodyslam, but Golem counters it with a face-rake! Golem goes for a back suplex, but Kabe blocks it and whips Golem into the turnbuckle and follows him in!! GOLEM GETS SMASHED IN THE CORNER! Kabe is met with a mixture of cheers and boos again as he punches Golem.
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Kabe kicks Golem repeatedly! Golem chops at Ricky Kabe but it didn't have enough behind it to have any effect! The audience doesn't quite know how to react to Golem as they begin to simultaneously cheer and boo him! Ricky Kabe punches Golem again and Golem falls face first to the mat! Now the majority of the crowd is booing Ricky Kabe..... Ricky Kabe goes for a sleeperhold, but Golem counters it with a jawbreaker.....Golem takes Ricky Kabe down with a desperation kneedrop!
TONY ROSS: Golem goes for a DDT, but Ricky Kabe counters it with a backdrop..... but WAIT!! Golem counters it with a sunset flip. Danny Diaper counts: One, kickout!! Golem goes for a double underhook suplex, but Ricky Kabe counters it with a backdrop..... BACK SUPLEX BY KABE! Golem struggles to his feet..... SNAP MARE TAKE DOWN BY KABE!! Golem is just laying there now as Billy turns toward the Matthews brothers and nods as he flips off the crowd. Immediately the crowd responds with a chorus of booing.
JAKE SHADES: Just shows you how overconfident Kabe is... instead of wasting time he should try to pin Golem!
TONY ROSS: I don't think pinning him is on his mind right now.... he looks as if he wants to PUNISH Golem, possibly for that match he had against Billy Matthews a while back that sent Matthews into a leave of absence. Kabe whips Golem into the ropes, but Golem reverses it.... Golem goes for the Claw again, but Ricky Kabe blocks it this time and whips him into the turnbuckle! Kabe charges into the corner, but Golem moves out of the way!
JAKE SHADES: HAH!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Golem nails Ricky Kabe with a double arm DDT.... pulls Kabe to his feet and whips him into the ropes....DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE AND THEY BOTH GO DOWN! Kabe gets up first and throws Golem out of the ring where the Matthew brothers immediately start they're beat down on him! Brian holds Golem for Kabe who is straddling the top turnbuckle..... LEAPING ELBOW DROP BY KABE..... GOLEM SLIPS OUT OF BRIAN'S GRASP AND KABE NAILS BRIAN MATTHEWS INSTEAD!!
JAKE SHADES: YEAH!! GO BABY GO!
TONY ROSS: Golem whips Kabe into the guardrail!! Kabe cries out in pain..... Billy grabs a chair and comes up behind Golem.... Golem ducks an overhead chair shot and the chair rebounds off the ropes and strikes Billy in the face!! Billy's down! Brian's still down! Golem rushes to Kabe and hits him with a kick to the midsection. Golem rolls Kabe into the ring and follows him in..... Golem executes a piledriver on Kabe... covers for the pin.... One... two... KICKOUT BY KABE! Golem hits Ricky Kabe with a fist to the throat!! Elbow smash to the face sends Kabe to the mat!
JAKE SHADES: Yeah! End it Golem!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Golem goes for the pin...... Danny Diaper counts: One, two, Kabe tosses his foot on the ropes to break the count. Golem pulls Kabe up...
TONY ROSS: Billy and Brian are starting to come to... .
VICTOR ALVAREZ: GOLEM WITH A DEATH VALLEY DRIVER!! He covers... One!!
TONY ROSS: Billy and Brian race frantically to the ring....
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Two!!
TONY ROSS: Billy and Brian dive underneath the ropes....
VICTOR ALVAREZ: THREE!! Billy and Brian are too late as Danny Diaper calls for the bell!! Golem has defeated Ricky Kabe and advances to the next round of the world tourney!!
JAKE SHADES: YES!! I knew Golem had it in him!
TONY ROSS: He may have it in him but right now he's getting it kicked OUTTA him as Brian, Billy AND Kabe are TRIPLE TEAMING him!! Oh my! They're beating Golem senseless! Golem is out cold!! And now Billy's calling for a mic.....
BILLY MATTHEWS: Just because the fans turned on me Golem and made me a heel doesn't mean your off the hook, heel or no heel, I don't forget the past! And the future, well the future has a bullseye on Rabesque! Rabesque, your days in this sport are numbered... you and your pal Nevada!! MARK MY WORDS!! And don't think that because I'm gonna kick Sage's ass at the up coming PPV that I've forgotten about YOU Stone Wolf. After I take Sage's title, I'm going after yours! It'll make a nice little trinket here for my brother Brian! So enjoy them while you can, because your days are numbered.... ALL OF YOU!!
(Billy drops the mic onto Golem's chest and steps through the ropes with Brian and Kabe in tow. The fans pelt them with debris as they disappear backstage....)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Looks like everyone is circling their wagons, you've got the New Breed, Manson's group, JC and his cronies, Rabesque's group and now these three maniacs! It smells to me like the makings for an all out WAR!
TONY ROSS: Oh definitely! Things have been heating up here in the FWF now for months and it looks like it may all come to a head very soon! Fans we'll be right back with our next match in just a few short moments.....
(FADE OUT: on Golem still laying in the ring as the medics arrive... CUTTO: a promo for the FWF's new hotline number.....)
(FADE BACK TO: Backstage where LeBron is still pounding away on the door as both the janitor and FWF physician, along with some EMT's approach, with Bueno Excellente trailing in the distance. The sounds of the handsaw and screams have ceased however.....)
LEBRON: Where's the building supervisor!? Where's the key!?
JANITOR: He's apparently "gone drinkin'" according to a note on the door!
LEBRON: What!?
JANITOR: Sorry man. I tried my best.
LEBRON: Does anyone know where Scott Malec is!?
FWF PHYISCIAN: (Pakistan accent) He's laying down in my office. I think he may've sprained his ankle earlier when McMillan shoved him out of the ring. I told him to keep his weight off it for a little while to be safe.
LEBRON: Damn it! Nothing's going right!
(Just as LeBron says this, a man who must weigh in the neighborhood of 500 lbs approaches from up the hallway. Upon catching LeBron's eye, he rushes over and grabs the man by the collar....)
LEBRON: Who are you!?
500 lb MAN: I'm a personal guest of Michael Manson! (the man shoves LeBron off him and against the wall) Who the hell are you, asshole!?
LEBRON: LOOK DAMMIT!! I'M ONE OF THE FWF CO-OWNERS!! (Lebron pulls out his wallet and starts digging through it) I'll give *you*... (counts the money in his hand) $1700 dollars if you can knock this door down! (pointing at the door with the money in hand)
JANITOR:---Hey! What about me!? I helped to!
(The 500 lb man grabs the $1700 dollars, shoves the janitor aside, and in one swift shot...he knocks the door off its hinges. Inside, we see Asylum with his head heavily bandaged, wandering around in circles, barely able to walk on his own. As everyone rushes into the room, the camera zooms in, and we can see that Asylum's face is heavily swollen, with his mouth appearing disfigured. He is babbling incoherantly, slurring his speech, and drooling all over himself, but the New Breed appear long gone as we cut back to the broadcast booth....)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: OH MY GOD!! They ACTUALLY DID IT!! They carved up Asylum!
JAKE SHADES: Yeah and YOU'RE next for ratting them out!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: SHUT UP YOU CRETIN!
TONY ROSS: Asylum certainly looks out of it.... no doubt the New Breed are looking after their National Title interests! While we wait to get an update on that situation we'll send the action back to Paul Kramer....
PAUL KRAMER: Alright... the next set of opponents, first from North Stamford CT, weighing 224 pounds....
(CUE UP: Sequence Erase by The Aquabats....)
PAUL KRAMER: He's the #9 seed.... he's THE JOBBER!!!
(Fans boo as The Jobber appears at the entrance ramp in his black ring pants with "Job 12:3" on the rear and Jobber down the side. He pays no mind to the fans as he makes his way to the ring.....)
PAUL KRAMER: And his opponent, hailing from Mexico City, Mexico.... weighing 231 pounds....
(CUE UP: Bittersweet Symphony by Verve....)
PAUL KRAMER: He's the #10 seed.... he's CARLOS CANYETA!!
(Fans boo loudly as Carlos Canyeta slaps the curtains impassively aside and walks steadfastedly down the aisle toward the ring....)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: These two pick up exactly where they left off as they lock up..... The Jobber breaks off and runs into the ropes..... Carlos Canyeta hits The Jobber with an elbow that staggers Jobber..... Canyeta rushes to the corner and executes a dropkick from the second rope!!
JAKE SHADES: Damn! Don't these guys stop to breath?! They're making me dizzy! Hey! How come Fields ISN'T wearing Manson's new official Ref Jerseys?
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Could be because he DOESN'T recognize Manson's authority!
JAKE SHADES: I won't waste words on you cause as far as the New Breed is concerned, you're a dead man walking! And besides, when Manson sees Fields isn't wearing the proper attire, that'll be the LAST match he'll ever ref!
TONY ROSS: Canyeta nails The Jobber with a spinebuster bomb..... even the fans don't quite know how to react to either of these two as they simply respond with oohhs and aaahhs..... Canyeta whips The Jobber into the ropes, goes for a spinebuster bomb, but The Jobber counters it with a small package! Referee Stu Fields counts: One, two, kickout! The Jobber almost ended it early here!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: One of the reasons why Jobber is so dangerous.... most people to tend overlook him but he can beat you at ANY time. Jobber whips Canyeta into the ropes....... Canyeta hits The Jobber with a spinning kick across the face and goes for the pin.... One, two, kickout!! Now Canyeta tries for the quick win but fails. It's gonna take a LOT more than that to keep The Jobber down!
JAKE SHADES: Which is more than I can say about you .... DEAD MAN!
TONY ROSS: Canyeta hits The Jobber with a DDT! He races to the ropes but Jobber is already up and surprises him with an airplane spin! Canyeta is valiantly trying to break the hold..... and The Jobber finally slams him to the mat! Canyeta back to his feet.... SPINNING DDT BY JOBBER! A portion of the crowd seems to be favoring The Jobber now as they start cheering.
VICTOR ALVAREZ: The Jobber goes for a spinning thrust kick, but Canyeta blocks it and hits Jobber with a low blow! He dives out of the ring and returns with a chair..... Jobber to his feet... ANE CANYETA TAKES HIM DOWN WITH AN ASAI MOONSAULT WITH THE CHAIR!! Stu Fields drops down for the count as Canyeta covers: One, two, shoulder up!
JAKE SHADES: Vicky?? Starting to sweat yet? Heheheheh
TONY ROSS: Canyeta chops at The Jobber.... And The Jobber reciprocates with a chop of his own across Canyeta's throat! And the Jobber looks like he's acknowledging the portion of the crowd that's cheering for him!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: The Jobber with a handful of hair throws Carlos Canyeta out of the ring...... he goes to the top rope, SHOOTING STAR PRESS BUT CANYETA MOVES OUT THE WAY AND JOBBER LANDS ON THE GUARDRAIL!! THE JOBBER LOOKS TO BE OUT COLD!
JAKE SHADES: Much like you're going to be soon enough Victoria!
TONY ROSS: Canyeta ignores the heckling fans and takes The Jobber back down with a somersault splash! He pulls the Jobber back up and whips him hard into the guardrail.....
(Stu Fields counts: 1......2....3....)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Canyeta with an Asai moonsault on The Jobber!
(Stu Fields counts: 4.....5.....6....7....)
TONY ROSS: And Canyeta finally reenters the ring..... he waits on the Jobber as he crawls up to the apron and flips him back into the ring! Canyeta pulls Jobber to his feet and hits a spinebuster bomb!
(Stu Fields turns away momentarily to remove the chair from the ring and Canyeta takes advantage with ANOTHER low blow!)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: OH!! TALK ABOUT CHEAP SHOTS! Canyeta goes for an over-the-shoulder stomachbreaker, but The Jobber counters with a rana. Stu Fields drops for the count: One, two, shoulder up! Where does The Jobber find the reserve?!
JAKE SHADES: Reserve? Hell, where did he find the nerve you mean! He's complaining now about a slow count! Then again, it coulda been slow, these refs ARE a bit on the slow side!
TONY ROSS: And Canyeta takes advantage of the distraction with an inside cradle! Referee Fields drops down again: One, two, shoulder up! Jobber better concern himself LESS with Field's cadence and more with Canyeta! Canyeta takes The Jobber down with a spinebuster bomb! Canyeta goes for an Asai moonsault, but The Jobber side-steps and Canyeta hits the ref! THE REF IS OUT COLD!!
JAKE SHADES: Don't they teach these damn refs how to STAY outta the (BLEEP) way?!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Jobber hits an armdrag takedown and follows up with an airplane spin but Canyeta turns it into a headscissors take down! Canyeta goes for a series of slaps, but The Jobber counters it with an eye gouge! Jobber knocks Carlos Canyeta into the ringpost. And listen to the fans, the cheers are starting to drown out the boos!
JAKE SHADES: Just more proof of their stupidity!
TONY ROSS: The Jobber executes a spinning thrust kick on Carlos Canyeta....
(All of a sudden, the boos are turning into almost unanimous cheers.)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: The Jobber gives the sign for the BackYard Revenge.... The Jobber executes the BackYard Revenge on Carlos Canyeta.... The Jobber doesn't quite know what to do with the mixed reaction he's getting.... he goes for the pin..... BUT THERE's NO REF THERE TO COUNT! Jobber gets up and slaps Fields awake!
(Suddenly Manson comes to ringside wearing one of his own Referee Jerseys along with Doc who takes over the timekeeping duties.....)
TONY ROSS: Uh oh.... this looks like trouble...
JAKE SHADES: Nah... if you ask me, this looks like it's gonna get fun!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: The Jobber hits an armdrag takedown on Carlos Canyeta.... follows it up with a fireman's carry into a slam! The Jobber whips Carlos Canyeta into the ropes..... FRONT FACE DDT! Jobber quickly leaps on Canyeta's back.... BOSTON CRAB!! The Jobber traps Carlos Canyeta in a Boston Crab!! Carlos Canyeta is writhing in pain..... Stu Fields asks Carlos Canyeta if he's had enough..... Carlos Canyeta shakes his head! Stu Fields checks Carlos Canyeta's arm..... He lifts it... it falls.... He lifts it again... it falls... He lifts it a final time..... WHAT THE?!? MANSON JUST PULLED STU FIELDS OUT OF THE RING AND KNOCKED HIM OUT COLD WITH HEAD BUTT!
JAKE SHADES: ATTA BOY MANSON!
TONY ROSS: Jobber might possibly have had the match won until Manson interferred! Jobber turns and starts yelling at Manson.....
VICTOR ALVAREZ: LOOK OUT!! Canyeta's up!
TONY ROSS: Jobber turns around and walks right into a Cutter from Canyeta!! Manson hits the ring and counts a VERY fast 3 count, and Doc rings the bell!! NO! This can't be happening! This is a travesty! Manson's raising Canyeta's arm in victory! HE CAN'T DO THAT!
JAKE SHADES: Of course he can... he RUNS the FWF!
TONY ROSS: Not very likely, 'cause here comes Scott Malec and he looks pretty damn angry!!
(Fans cheer loudly as Malec makes his way with senior referee William Bennett who just happens to also NOT be wearing the New Manson Ref Jersey. They both step into the ring and Malec immediately begins addressing Manson.....)
MALEC: Just what in the HELL do you think you're doing Manson?
MANSON: Just enforcing a little order around here since you and LeBron seem to be, ummm, BUSY! That ref of yours, Stu whatchamacallit, was NOT wearing the NEW OFFICIAL REFEREE UNIFORM so he is NOT a legal referee! So I merely stepped in and saved the day! No thanks are necessary though, just doing my job.... (grinning ....)
MALEC: Until my investigators are able to prove that your contract is "fraudulent" I'm bound by law to accept you as an FWF Exec. HOWEVER, you ONLY make up 1/3 of the Executive Committee you must FIRST submit ALL these changes of yours for approval by Joe LeBron and MYSELF! Particularly the one about those RIDICULOUS NEW REFEREE UNIFORMS! So I'm ORDERING this match to be restarted with William Bennett as the NEW referee! Oh and Manson, I DARE you to try interfering with this man here (slaps Bennett across his broad shoulders) because it would make my day to see him KICK YER ASS!! So unless you have any more bright ideas that NEED approving from me and LeBron, you'd best take your flunkie Doc and start RE-submitting ALL these changes of yours IN writing and IN TRIPLICATE NOW before I fine you for being in breach of contract!!
(Manson glares at Malec and then at Bennett who just gives him an inviting smile..... he then steps out of the ring, turns and smiles back at Malec and leaves with Doc back up the entrance aisle.... the fans go berserk as Malec exits the ring and helps Ref Stu Fields to the back......)
JAKE SHADES: NO!! WHAT KIND OF CRAP IS THIS?! WHO THE (BLEEP) DOES MALEC THINK HE IS?
TONY ROSS: I guess he THINKS he runs this place along with LeBron....(snickering sarcastically.....) Oh and Jake, enjoy that large desk while you can, because it looks like the REAL bosses of the FWF are starting to flex their muscles! Ya heard it! This decision has been thrown out the window and the match is OFFICIALLY restarted!
JAKE SHADES: I PROTEST!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: You're in position to protest you idiot! Bennett stands between Canyeta and Jobber and instructs them to pick it up where they left off.... The Jobber suddenly attacks and executes a hiptoss on Carlos Canyeta! Canyeta immediately gets to his feet and traps Jobber in a front facelock! Jobber valiantly tries to break the hold..... he reaches for the ropes...... Canyeta nails The Jobber with a series of closed fist punches to the face!! Canyeta executes The Cutter on Jobber!! Canyeta goes for the pin....
(Bennett counts: One, two, thr... kickout!!)
JAKE SHADES: C'mon you goof! Stop stuttering and count faster!!
TONY ROSS: Canyeta executes a piledriver on The Jobber and follows it up with fistdrop!! Canyeta pulls him and goes for a spinebuster bomb, but The Jobber counters it with a double-axhandle to the back..... Canyeta drops to the mat and Jobber goes for the pin.... Bennett drops for the count: One, two, Canyeta drops a foot on the ropes to break the count!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: The Jobber goes for an inverted DDT, but Canyeta blocks it.... Canyeta runs into the ropes..... THE JOBBER LANDS A CLOTHESLINE AND CANYETA FALLS OUTTA THE RING!!
(Bennett counts: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine,)
JAKE SHADES: YES!! Canyeta made it back into ring in time!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Yes but BARELY! The Jobber goes for a flying headscissors, but Canyeta throws him off! Canyeta goes for a front face-lock, but The Jobber counters it with a low blow and rushes to the ropes.... flying shoulderblock, but Canyeta ducks out of the way.... Canyeta hits The Jobber with an Asai moonsault!!
TONY ROSS: Canyeta looks like he senses victory.... he goes for a German Suplex but The Jobber counters with an elbowsmash! Jobber runs into the ropes..... Now Canyeta hits The Jobber with an elbow! Canyeta whips The Jobber into the ropes, but Jobber reverses it and nails Canyeta with a rolling reverse cradle into a bridge..... Both Jobber's and Canyeta's shoulders are on the mat!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Bennett drops and counts..... ONE.... checks both their shoulders, TWO... checks the shoulders one final time......THREE!! Bennett is signaling that the match is over... but WHO won?? Both Canyeta and Jobber are raising their hands up in victory.... Bennett walks up to them and grabs a hold of each of their raised arms.... AND HE SLAPS CANYETA'S ARM DOWN!! HE'S SIGNALING THAT JOBBER GOT HIS SHOULDER UP BEFORE THE THREE COUNT! JOBBER IS THE WINNER!
JAKE SHADES: NOOOO!! THIS IS A BLATANT FIX BY MALEC!! NOOOO!!
TONY ROSS: The only FIX attempted around here was by Manson when he pulled Stu Fields out just when it appeared Jobber had the win so don't even attempt to try and taint this match with your biassed ignorance! Jobber has won a hard fought battle against Carlos Canyeta and moves on to the next round of the tournament! Right now we're gonna to break for a final commerci..... (interrupted...)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony WAIT! I'm getting an update on the Asylum situation.... I'm being told we're going to cut back stage first and then immediately go to the commercial break from there....
(CUTTO: Backstage were we see everyone (LeBron, the EMT's, Bueno Excellente', the janitor, and the 500lb man) huddled around the FWF physician as he finishes examining Asylum, who is looking better than before, but his speech is still slurred & incoherant. The bandages have been removed from his head, revealing stitch-work, and what looks like some dried blood. Calmly, the physician removes his glasses, and pulls LeBron aside as the camera zooms in on them......)
FWF PHYSICIAN: This man hasn't been subjected to any kind of illegal operation. He's gonna be just fine.
LEBRON: What!? What about the stitching...and the blood!?
FWF PHYSICIAN: Well...the blood on the floor isn't real. As for the stiching and blood on Asylum, they are... but it looks like they had just stitched up an existing cut. Was Asylum injured or cut earlier on tonight?
LEBRON: I don't know.
FWF PHYSICIAN: Well, that's what the case looks to be. If you look closely at the stitching, you'll realize that it's actually dental floss.
LEBRON: Dental floss!?
FWF PHYSCIAN: Yes, and let me say that it's a first. I've never heard of such a thing! Most would assume that it's impossible to stitch with something like dental floss, as it's too delicate, but whoever did this just proved the entire medical profession wrong. In fact, I'm going to make a report on this.
LEBRON: ...*but* what about his face, and his *speech*...and the fact that he can barely walk!?
FWF PHYSCIAN: Good question. The answer is novocain.
LEBRON: Novocain!?
FWF PHYSCIAN: Yes, novocain. It appears they gave Asylum a strong doseage in the jaw, accounting for his facial disfigurement and slurred speech...and then a small doseage in each leg, affecting his balence and ability to walk.
LEBRON: I can't believe this!
FWF PHYSCIAN: Don't worry about it. At first sight, they had me fooled too. (exits the room with the EMT's following)
LEBRON: (turns to Asylum) I guess you and Sage are even after that barbed wire bat attack now, huh?
(Asylum attempts to speak, but drools all over himself in the process. Lebron grabs the bandaging that was on Asylum and wipes some sweat from his brow. Camera zooms in on their expressions of frustration and pain as a result of the traumatic night they've suffered as the cameras fade to a commercial break.....)
(FADE BACK TO: the broadcast booth....)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Oh man! The New Breed put LeBron and Asylum through absolute HELL tonight!
JAKE SHADES: FORGET THOSE LOSERS!! WHAT ABOUT THE SCREW JOB ON CANYETA?
TONY ROSS: Well, all I can say about that is that Manson went a little too far and it cost NOT only him but Canyeta as well! Canyeta fought a VERY impressive match and WHO knows what the outcome may have been had Manson not interferred! That match is now history however and we're ready for our main event of the evening.
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Not quite yet Tony.... there's some action going on backstage....
(CUT TO: Somewhere back stage where we see Malec apparently arguing with Czar......)
MALEC: Look! I don't have time for your nonsense Czar! I've got enough problems with this idiot Manson and those lunatics the New Breed running around!
(Malec turns to leave when Czar pulls him back by the shoulder.... instinctively Malec reacts by turning and shoving Czar off of him! Czar hesitates for a split second then suddenly flings himself HARD against the wall and lets himself fall to the floor.....)
CZAR: AAAAAHHHHH!!!! MY BACK! YOU REINJURED MY BACK!!! AAAAAGGGGH!!
(Suddenly, almost as if on cue to Czar's screams, a whole parade of people come streaming from around the corner! We see Kraven dragging a stretcher behind him, Flatliner with a video camera, and a couple of guys who appear to be doctors, one carrying a IV drip stand and another carrying a neck brace! They ignore Malec, who just stands there with a surprised look on his face and immediately start tending to Czar as though the were members of a hospital emergency room STAT team!)
CZAR: Oh my back.... MY BACK!!! I'm gonna sue Malec... SUE I SAY!! OOOOHHHH!!!
(Before Malec can reply, they wheel him down the hall to the garage where a white Hospital van is waiting.... as they try to load Czar onto the van, the stretcher tips over, knocking Czar to the floor! Czar immediately jumps to his feet and starts cursing at the two doctors who tipped the stretcher over, and then Kraven whispers into Czar's ear and points to Malec who is watching all of this.... immediately Czar drops down to the floor and starts moaning in agony again! After a few moments, they finally load up Czar and drive away.....)
MALEC: (laughing...) Oh give me a break!
(Suddenly appearing behind him is Czar's lawyer, none other than....)
NORMAN E. HOWARD: Not very likely Malec. You see, my client, Czar, has suffered unimaginable pain and injury due to your VIOLENT attack upon his person and he WILL be compensated for it!
(Hands him a document....)
MALEC: And what's this? An invitation to your next show?
NORMAN E. HOWARD: As a matter of fact it is..... it's called, L-A-W-S-U-I-T..... and YOU are one of the starring performers! We got you this time Malec, we got you on tape BRUTALLY assaulting Czar, we got the medical proof to support the claims of EXTENSIVE spinal damage due to your assualt, and we got witnesses! After I'm through with you Malec, you and LeBron.... and oh yes, that IDIOT Manson will be taking orders from your NEW boss... CZAR! See ya in court.... LOSER!
(Malec can only stare in amazement as (N)orman (E) (H)oward disappears down the aisle...... CUT BACK TO: the broadcast booth.....)
JAKE SHADES: YES!! JUSTICE AT LAST!! I hope Czar takes them for EVERYTHING they've got!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: I wouldn't hold my breath on that one! That entire scene was SO transparent, it'll NEVER hold up!
JAKE SHADES: Hmmmm, you don't know Czar very well.... we'll see who finally gets the last laugh around here!
TONY ROSS: Yeah, well we'll have to see later on because right now it's time for the main event......
(CUTTO: Center ring and Paul Kramer......)
PAUL KRAMER: LAAAAAADIEEEES & GEEEENTLEMEEEEN!! ARE YOU READY FOR THE MAAAAAAAIIIIIN EVEEEEEENT???? (crowd pops loudly) Introducing first, from Hartford, CT... weighing in at 244 pounds...
(CUE UP: More Human Than Human by White Zombie.....)
PAUL KRAMER: He's the number 14 seed, a former CSWA and ASWF World Title holder..... he's ANAAAAAARKY!!!
(Fans boo loudly as Anarky appears sporting a leather jacket and fingerless gloves.... he turns to give us a back shot as he thumbs at the back of his jacket to display the white anarchy symbol... He then turns around, unzips the jacket and lets it drop half off his shoulders to reveal the same symbol on his black sleeve-less shirt..... He then proceeds slowly to the ring, totally oblivious to the fans booing....)
PAUL KRAMER: And his opponent... Hailing from Montreal Quebec... Weighing in at 245 pounds...
(CUE UP: Shape Of Things by the Jeff Healy Band.....)
PAUL KRAMER: He's seeded #5 and is the former 3-Time Frontier Champion..... he's JEEEEAAAAN RAAAABESQUE!!!
(Fans roar loudly with cheers as Jean Rabesque appears and makes his way down to the ring with an "all business" like attitude.....)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: This is going to be a GREAT match up! Both of these men are Legends in the sport and I understand this is their first meeting! Wait a minute... what's this? Talent Relations have just come out and are making their way to ringside.... but wait!! They're intercepted by Malec and LeBron who come out with security! It looks like Malec and LeBron are ordering Talent Relations to leave the ringside area! Yes they are!
JAKE SHADES: I don't (BLEEP) believe this! What possible reason could they have for banning Talent Relations from here?
TONY ROSS: Well, maybe what happened in the LAST match, with Manson and Doc has something to do with it! Face it, we ALL want to see a clean finish here and unfortunately, surrounded by all the madness of tonight, this is the ONLY way to somewhat insure that! GREAT MOVE MALEC AND LEBRON!
(The fans roar their approval as Talent Relations are escorted back to the dressing rooms by security with Malec and LeBron in tow....)
JAKE SHADES: Yeah, and who's gonna keep an eye on those two crooks Malec and LeBron! I mean look at what Malec's done this evening! He brutally assaulted Czar and then he UNJUSTLY ordered a match to continue when it was already over!
TONY ROSS: Shades... SHUT UP! Anarky and Rabesque circle each other..... they're sizing each other up..... THEY LOCK UP!! Jean Rabesque runs into the ropes. Jean Rabesque is pushed back into the corner.... Referee Willie Bennett is calling for the break.... CLEAN BREAK FROM ANARKY!? Even Rabesque is showing surprise at this!
JAKE SHADES: There you guys go again... PREJUDGING every one! It's disgusting the way you guys do that! You two make me sick!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Anarky backs away allowing Rabesque to retreat from the corner.... Rabesque steps out warily..... Anarky calling for a test of strength.... they lock up! Neither of them are gaining an advantage however...... Rabesque suddenly breaks off and dropkicks Anarky in the chest! Anarky goes down but rolls right back to his feet! He looks to Rabesque and gives him a slight nod! Is this the same Anarky we've seen in recent weeks?
JAKE SHADES: Of course it is you IDIOT!
TONY ROSS: They lock up again..... fireman take down into an armbar! Rabesque counters with a headscissors however!! Anarky headstands his way out though! And Anarky WAITS for Rabesque to get up!? Has Anarky turned fan favorite?
JAKE SHADES: OH GOD! I HOPE NOT! We got ENOUGH losers here without turning him into one!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Rabesque doesn't know what to make of it either as he gets to his feet.... Rabesque charges and this time HE pushes Anarky into the corner! Bennett calling for the break.... Rabesque backs off... but not before he lands a series of chops across Anarky's chest!! HIP TOSS BY RABESQUE SENDS ANARKY FLYING ACROSS THE RING! Rabesque isn't taking any chances here! He's going all out for this one!
JAKE SHADES: Oh yeah sure.... when a guy like Rabesque doesn't break cleanly you call it "going all out" and when a guy like Anarky does it, who I'd like to point out HAS NOT DONE IT, when he does it, you'll call it breaking the rules! You DAMN HYPOCRITE!! Me? I always....
TONY ROSS: Yeah, yeah, we know... "you say what you mean and mean what you say" Now why don't you say you're going to shut up for the rest of the evening and MEAN it! Anarky get to his feet... Rabesque with a kneelift... but Anarky reverses it into a legdrag takedown!! Both men are instantly up again and facing each other! Rabesque being the aggressor knocks Anarky off his feet with a flying shoulder block!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Rabesque off the ropes.... Anarky drops down... Rabesque hops over Anarky and hits the opposite ropes.... FLYING BODY BLOCK BY RABESQUE.... ANARKY REVERSES IT INTO A POWERSLAM AND COVERS! Bennett with a ONE count only as Rabesque kicks out almost immediately!
JAKE SHADES: ::::mumbling:::: That looked like a HELLUVA slow count if you ask me!
TONY ROSS: Well we didn't ask you now did we?.... Anarky's first to get up and once again he waits for Rabesque to get to his feet!? Rabesque pounds a fist into the mat in frustration and jumps to his feet..... Anarky with a kick to the abdomen... RABESQUE CATCHES AND HOLDS IT! But Anarky connects with the other foot across Rabesque's face! Rabesque right back to his feet.... Anarky there to greet him and did he ever!! RABESQUE IS ROCKED WITH A SIDE HEADLOCK BULLDOG!!
JAKE SHADES: Oh yeah... I like that!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Anarky drops an elbow across the back of Rabesque's neck!! Rabesque is reeling in pain now as he desperately tries to roll free! Rabesque roll away and out of the ring to the outside and Anarky follows him out there! Rabesque turns and SPEARS ANARKY INTO THE GUARDRAIL!! HE'S FISTING ANARKY DOWN TO THE GROUND!! Bennett's laying the count down... 2.....3....
TONY ROSS: Rabesque pulls Anarky up by his short blond locks and whips him into the steel stair case! Anarky's opened up! His head is busted open!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: You know, watching these two you'd think the roles are reversed! I mean Rabesque is fighting more like a heel than Anarky!
(Bennett continues to count.... 4..... 5.....)
JAKE SHADES: That's because Rabesque is a CHEATER!!!
TONY ROSS: I think it's more like seeing a newer side to Rabesque than before! He's seemed more impatient, more aggressive as of late! He has a totally different attitude than before.
(..... 6...... 7..... 8.....)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: The same can be said about Anarky apparently! He's fighting more like a fan favorite than anything else! Rabesque pulls Anarky up and tosses him unceremoniously into the ring and follows him in just before Bennett hits the 9 count! Rabesque pulls Anarky to his feet.... SMALL PACKAGE BY ANARKY!!! ONE... TWO.... THR.... NO! KICKOUT BY RABESQUE!! Man that was a close call for Rabesque!
TONY ROSS: They're both up.... Rabesque drives Anarky back against the ropes.... and Anarky reverses and has Rabesque against the ropes... Bennett orders the break... and Anarky once again give a clean break! WAIT!! I spoke too soon!! Anarky just kneed Rabesque in the stomach! Now he's choking Rabesque against the ropes!! Bennett ordering the break but Anarky's ignoring him! Bennett's counting... 1...2... 3... 4.. And Anarky FINALLY releases the hold! It looks like this was just a ploy all along by Anarky!
JAKE SHADES: What ploy? It's called strategy!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Tony this is one of the reasons that fighting Anarky is so difficult! He has SO many varied styles and points of attack that you can never tell just WHICH Anarky you're going to face! Anarky snaps the rope back sending Rabesque sprawling to the mat! Anarky with a head butt to the midsection! OH! That was AWFULLY close to the groin area! Referee Willie Bennett is warning Anarky but he pays no mind as he pulls Rabesque up on his feet..... Anarky slaps a full-nelson on Rabesque... I think he's going for his swinging neckbreaker... BUT RABESQUE GRABS HOLD OF ANARKY's HEAD AND DROPS DOWN!! JAWBREAKER BY RABESQUE RELEASES THE HOLD!!
JAKE SHADES: Damn! With a head as hard as Rabesque's it's no wonder Anarky has any teeth left!
TONY ROSS: Rabesque collects himself and pulls the bloody Anarky up with a handful of blonde locks.... SNAP SUPLEX INTO A BRIDGE PIN!! ONE... TWO... THREE!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: NO! Anarky got a hand up!! SO CLOSE THOUGH! Rabesque is starting to show some signs of frustration now as he gives Bennett a dirty look before turning back to Anarky! I don't think it's wise to mess with Bennett, he's anything but a pushover and with the build he has, he takes crap from absolutely NO ONE! Rabesque whips Anarky into the ropes... Anarky with a baseball slide through Rabesque's legs... hooks the legs and Rabesque falls face first to the mat! Anarky with a leg drop... MISSES as Rabesque rolls out of the way!
TONY ROSS: Standing dropkick by Rabesque sends a sitting Anarky rolling backwards into the corner!! Rabesque races after him and pulls him up... he grabs Anarky and proceeds to bounce his head off the turnbuckle! And the fans are counting out loud along with the impact! ONE... TWO..... THREE.... FOUR.... FIVE.... SIX.....
JAKE SHADES: And WHY isn't the ref breaking THAT UP!? It's ALL a fix I tell ya! Perpetrated by those scumbags Malec and LeBron!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Rabesque finally releases Anarky who's cut is open even wider now and staggers to center ring before falling flat on his face! Rabesque quickly rolls him over and covers.... ONE... TWO... THREE!! NO!! Anarky again gets the shoulder up just in time!
JAKE SHADES: That ref is counting WAY too fast!
TONY ROSS: Just a while ago you were complaining of a slow count!?
JAKE SHADES: Yeah, now doesn't that tell you something?
TONY ROSS: (staring impassively at Shades as he shakes his head...) Yeah it certainly does... about YOU! Rabesque with a reverse chin lock on Anarky.... Anarky fights his way to his feet... reverses gears and SMASHES RABESQUE INTO THE CORNER!! Rabesque has the wind knocked out of him! Anarky gouges Rabesque's eyes and MONKEY FLIPS Rabesque out of the corner!! Rabesque lands awkwardly on his side! Anarky pulls him up... SLEEPER HOLD!!! Anarky has it locked on tight in the middle of the ring!!
JAKE SHADES: Yeah put his lights out... PERMANENTLY!!!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Bennett checks on the hold to make sure it doesn't slip into a chokehold.... He checks to see if Rabesque wants to submit... Rabesque struggles to free himself and Anarky locks on even tighter now! RABESQUE IS GOING WILD TRYING TO ESCAPE!! Bennett checks on the hold once again.. AND HE'S CALLING FOR ANARKY TO BREAK THE HOLD!! ANARKY REFUSES!! BENNETT'S COUNTING!! One... two.... three... fou... ANARKY FINALLY RELEASES THE HOLD AND RABESQUE SLUMPS TO THE MAT GASPING!
JAKE SHADES: That ref wouldn't know a chokehold if I went over and choked the life outta him myself!!
TONY ROSS: Anarky is playing the percentages VERY well... he's making a point to TAKE as much as Bennett will allow! Breaking on the 4 count rather than 1 or 2! Very devious thinking by Anarky which makes him VERY dangerous to EVERYONE here!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: There's no doubt about it! Anarky is a MAJOR force to be reckoned with! If he can't out-muscle you, he'll he'll out-think you! Anarky drags Rabesque to his feet.... hooks the arms for a double underhook suplex... BLOCKED BY RABESQUE!! BACK BODY DROP SENDS ANARKY UP AND OVER THE TOP ROPE!! OH! ANARKY LANDED HARD ON HIS SHOULDER!! HE MAY HAVE INJURED IT!! HE GETS UP FAVORING IT HEAVILY AND STAGGERS TO THE RING APRON AS RABESQUE STRUGGLES TO CATCH HIS BREATH!
TONY ROSS: Anarky rolls back in before Bennett can even begin his count.... They're both literally out on their feet now.... Rabesque with an elbow to Anarky's injured shoulder! Anarky cries out in pain and drops down to one knee! Rabesque winces in pain! I think that elbow blow to Anarky's shoulder reinjured his own hurt side!
JAKE SHADES: GOOD! I hope he punctured a lung while he's at it!
VICTOR ALVAREZ: Rabesque goes over and hooks Anarky's arm.... HE'S GOT HIM UP!! NO!! RABESQUE RELEASES ANARKY AND CLUTCHES AT HIS SIDE AND ANARKY DROPS BACK DOWN AND HITS A REVERSE NECK BREAKER!! ANARKY COVERS!! ONE.... TWO..... THREE!!! NO!! RABESQUE SQUEEZES A SHOULDER UP!!
JAKE SHADES: NO HE DIDN'T!! LOOK!! BENNETT'S SIGNALLING FOR THE BELL!
TONY ROSS: I hate to admit it but I think Jake's right! It doesn't look like Rabesque got his shoulder up in time.... Yep... looks like Jake called it! Bennett's made it official as he raises Anarky's arm in victory! Anarky barely gets the win here over Rabesque in a match that could have gone either way from start to finish! Anarky will move on to the next round of the World Title Tourney! What the.....??
(Suddenly the fans start stirring as Wicks, Minion, Pestilence and Manson appear dragging a bloody and handcuffed Black Sage with them! They continue until they hit ringside where Manson grabs a mic and....)
MANSON: This is just to let you know Sage, that I can mutilate you anytime I like and you can't touch me! You wnat to threaten me? You and your title are both going to be processed like cattle!! And as for you Malec, you think you've gotten the upper hand on me?? Think again son because I haven't even begun show you what I'm all about yet!
(Immediately Manson hits Sage with his belt and spits on him and it. He takes the mic again and.....)
MANSON: Now if anyone has a problem with this, please come down and complain but I'll fine the hell out of you. And if anyone would like to retaliate, you will also be fired!
(Immediately as if on cue, Darren McMillan explodes down the ramp and dives at Manson but is intercepted by Wicks and Pestilence! Minion enters the ring and attacks an injured Steve Rabesque just as Manson and Anarky exchange first words then punches.....)
VICTOR ALVAREZ: It looks like everything's coming to a head NOW Tony! LOOK, HERE COMES NEVADA SMITH FOLLOWED BY NEMESIS!! AND THEY GET JUMPED BY THE MATTHEWS BROTHERS AND KABE BEFORE THEY CAN REACH THE RING! AND CANYETA JUST AND DOC JUST JOINED THE MELEE!! LOOKOUT!! THEY'RE GETTING TOO CLOSE TO US!!
(Ross barely has time to get out of the way before Wicks, Pestilence and McMillan crashes into their section, knocking Jake Shades and Victor Alvarez to the floor in the process....)
TONY ROSS: Fans, unfortunately we're outta time but don't forget to....
(Interrupted as Black Sage runs by to help McMillan, knocking over Tony Ross in the process! Seconds later... the image on the screen starts shaking back and forth as the cameraman rushes to get out of the way of the fighting! The image is soon seen on a sideway view only as the camera apparently hit's the floor.... suddenly we see a huge image of Manson's face peering into the camera.... he smiles briefly before raising his boot and crushing the camera!! FADE TO..... STATIC.......)
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