Well this forum is a FAR CRY from what a REAL forum SHOULD be, like the days of my AWARD WINNING show.... the MAIN reason behind the sudden SKYROCKETING success of the ever ASSuming Scum Malec's fed, the NFWA! Though he's not MAN enough to admit it.... Scum Malec, owes much of his success TO ME and MY show, Off The Ropes!! After ALL I did for that (BLEEP) A(BLEEP)HOLE.... (pauses as he looks around annoyed) HEY!! If I'm gonna do this DAMN show, I want those (BLEEP) (BLEEP) CENSORS OFF!!! (pauses as Shades sees the technician responsible for the censoring and walks off the set towards him.... after a moment or two of arguing, we suddenly hear a loud crash followed by moaning and then by the thudding sound of a body dropping to the floor as yet another loud crash follows.... seconds later Jake Shades reappears, a cynical smirk on his face .....)
Okay, err... sorry 'bout that, we were having some technical difficulties but I, as usual, took care of the problem. (laughs a little) Okay.... now where was I? Oh yeah.... I help that LOW LIFE SCUM SUCKING SONOFABITCH Malec raise his NFWA fed to the top with MY award winning show, Off The Ropes, way back when, and now THIS is how he REPAYS ME?! By using me as a FUCKIN RUMOR MILL for the FWF?? Well Malec, ya know what? I'll play along... FOR NOW that is.....
Okay, now that I put SCUM MALEC in his place... let's get this FUCKIN CRAP over with.... (begins flipping through some pages... muttering and cursing underneath his breath....then he begins to smile...) AAAHHH, here we go.... For once we got something worth talking about.... Okay, it seems that that little SISSY BOY HELIX done gone and hurt himself in Madison Square Garden the other night and will be out of action for an undetermined amount of time! It couldn't have happened to a NICER guy! HAHAAAAAAAA!!
Okay, moving right along..... an arraignment date has yet to be for Stanley Rothenstein and co. on those TRUMPED UP, BOGUS charges of FCC pirating of transmissions and assault on Troy Martinez. (shakes his head and spits, then curses again as he inadvertedly spits on the paper he was reading from...) You know, if you ask me, and even if you don't, I STRONGLY suspect that Malec and LeBron FRAMED Rothenstein because they FEAR him!! But don't take my word on it.... just wait 'til this goes to court and then WATCHOUT Malec and LeBron! 'Cause when Rothenstein vindicates himself in court, ya better get out yer check books 'cause Rothenstein is gonna SUE YER ASSES OFF!!!
(Begins shuffling through more paper work.....) What the hell is this?! Oh, so I see those COWARDS Malec and LeBron FIRED some more people... no doubt through the mail. Well, Kamikaze Kids and Kliq, I hate to admit it, but I have to agree with those MORONS on this one.... you guys SUCKED and DESERVED to get FIRED!! (pauses as he motions to someone off stage....) Yeah YOU.... FETCH me that bottle of water on the table.... (a few moments go by then a tech returns with a glass of water with ice cubes in it) WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!?!
TECH: That bottle of water you wanted was really warm and had a strong funny odor to it so I tossed it and figured you'd enjoy a COLD glass of water....
(Shades suddenly explodes as...) YOU DID WHAT!?! You FUCKING ASSHOLE!! The next time you touch ANYTHING of mine without my telling you to... I'm gonna ram my foot so hard up your ASS that your head will be using your ASS for shoulders!! Now get outta my sight before I ..... (the tech begins to back off but not before....) WAIT... you forgot yer FUCKIN water, HERE!! (takes the glass of water and tosses it right into the tech's face...) Fuckin' ASSHOLE! Now I gotta do this damn show without MY water.... (curses beneath his breath) Well, if I hurry I can still make it to the liqu.. um, err... I mean to the HEALTH food store for some mineral water before they close.... okay LISTEN up you maggots 'cause I'm not going to repeat this ...... (picks up the papers and begins reading VERY fast.....) Ex- RAMROD exotic dancer Nevada Smith recaptures the National Title.... GAY BOY Jean Rabesque recaptures the Frontier Title, hmmmm I wonder whose NOB he was polishing for that one?...... KEY-MO-SABE Stone Wolf retains his CABLE Title, I guess that's another feather in his cap, hehehehe ..... The NEW BREED retain their Tag Titles..... the Urban Death Squad and Dark Allstars have disbanded.... D-Mon and Elvis Pummel have been reported missing without a trace.... (looks at his watch and suddenly becomes frantic) much like I'm about to do right now..... I'm Jake Shade and remember, no matter how hard you try... you can NEVER be like me!! (throws the papers in the air and rushes off stage.... in the background you can hear Shades yelling .... "Get the FUCK outta my way" ...... FADE OUT) 
