"Only if we were as lucky as we all pretend to be."
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My Mother died a long time ago back before I was even old enough to really remember much
about her. I have a picture of her and my dad and me. He ran off some time after she died.
Guess he didnt like me much. It was fine by me. I didnt go living in an kids homes or
anything. I lived with my Grandmother. She was an ok chic. Treated me alright, but she was
really old. I aint really mad at her for dying or anything. I know alots of people gets that way.
But when its yer time there aint much else you can do but let go.
Social services tried to step in then. Some BS about how a 13 year old boy cant fend for
himself. I wasnt about to be dragged off to no home or nuthin so I took off. I aint too proud of
the way I kept going. I am proud that I did though. I stayed to the streets, I took what I
needed, when I needed it. Yeah, I sold stuff too. Everybody has their fix, and I used to fix
em. It isnt so bad. I didnt sell any of the messed us stuff, and all my wares were good. As
long as you didnt go trying to sell it to cops or anythin you were good.
So, here I was hanging outside of Marty's, waiting for this chic Trixie. Now talk about people
with fix's she had it bad. One of my best customers she was. Always had the money, never
tried to get some type of credit kickin with me like I was some type of bank. Anyhow, it was
the middle of January and lord it was cold. She was taking her sweet time while I waited for
her. I would have gone inside but Marty tol` me that he didnt like that stuff in his place and I
respected that. Trixie came out eventually and then she told me that she was quitin the
habit, going clean. I tell ya I was pissed sumthin bad. I didnt have no money, and I was
plannin on using the money from her to get a place to stay, maybe sumthin to eat. She blew
that one for me though. I just stood there. I didnt know what I was supose to do now.
I couldnt just go around waving it in people faces that would have been to risky, and I couldnt
go to Marty. Marty is this friend of mine and though I would do anything for the guy, and he
anything for me I couldnt go to him. He has a kid you know? I didnt want his kid around me, I
guess I didnt want to give his kid the idea to be like me. So after a while, when I felt like I
was frozen to the side of the building this old drunk guy leans next to me and we get to
talking. He said his name was Jimmy and he was just in D.C. for a little and then he was
movin onto some other place he hasnt been. He told me about sumthin that could keep me
from ever bein cold. said he could give it to me if I wanted it. I thought it was just gonna be a
quick high so I said sure, why not? But it wasnt, a quick high I mean. What Jimmy gave me
lasted me a good long time.
"Only if we were as lucky as we all pretend to be."
