YET ANOTHER FESTERING SPAWN OF THE MIGHTY MORPHIN POWER RANGERS MEETS THE
  TATTOOED TEENAGE ALIEN FIGHTERS FROM BEVERLY HILLS WITH SPECIAL GUEST
    APPEARANCE BY THE SUPER SAMURAI SYBER SQUAD: THE XXX-FILES


   Ernie's juice bar/youth center/gym/cafe bustled in the mid-afternoon heat;  
Ernie's best business came in after school -- on those few days school was 
actually in session.  Today, Ernie introduced a new feature to his multi- 
functional bar. . .internet access.  News leaked out fast; two-thirds of the 
nine terminals he had set up as a trial were in use, and four of those users 
had been waiting outside the juice bar before it even opened that morning.  
The lady with the indeterminate hair color, one of the four, tried to drink 
from her empty glass.  When she finally noticed the glass was empty, she 
stared at it and blinked a few times.
   She slammed a dollar bill down on the table.  "Barkeep!  Refill!"  Ernie 
took her money without a word, then refilled the glass with orange juice.  He 
placed it gently on the counter next to her. She wore a denim jacket liberally 
peppered with pins and buttons in defiance of the spring California sun, which 
streamed in over her left shoulder.  It highlighted a dark red streak normally 
blended in with the rest of her hair.  She took a long swig of the juice and 
stared intently at the world inside the monitor.
   The other girl in that group started gasping for air suddenly, her breath 
catching in little squeaks.  Everyone in the juice bar fell silent.  Ernie 
rushed to the side of his customer.  "Are you all right?"
   Like all of the group that came in that morning she was pale.  Her dark 
brown hair was gathered up into a plaid porkpie cap with a single button on 
the right side.  The button, in turn, held a gray and white feather.  A few 
brown tendrils escaped their prison and crawled around her shoulders.  At 
Ernie's concerned question, she started squeaking harder and flailing her arms 
wildly.
   No matter what direction her arms started moving in, though, she always hit 
the large fellow sitting next to her.  (Ernie actually thought the guy was 
quite slim.)  He took each blow with a sigh, but otherwise gave no notice he 
was being hit.  "She's fine," he said, voice weary.  "She's just laughing.  
She'll calm down in a moment as long as you don't ask if she's OK."
   The guy being used as a punching bag was also part of that early group and 
didn't look a whole lot different from half a dozen other guys of his height 
and build.  Occasionally, he would chuckle at his computer screen, and, unlike 
his thirsty compatriot, had only the one required drink.  He wore a purple 
knit shirt with "ECU Underground" stitched in white lettering on the breast 
pocket area.
   The squeaking girl started to calm a little; the gasps sounding more like 
normal laughter.  A tall blonde walked into the bar, toward the terminals.  
The denim-jacketed one looked up, then grinned evilly.  "Hello, Julie," she 
said in a dripping, somewhat singsong voice.
   The blonde shuddered a bit and took a seat at the computer next to the girl 
with the funny laugh.  The final member of the group, who sat on the girl's 
other side, made a "hrm" noise, a la Marge Simpson.  He was skinny, with sharp 
features; had he been a red-head, he may have been described as fox-like.  As 
it was, he looked more like a weasel.  He looked over at Julie, daggers almost 
visibly flying from his eyes.
   Julie was a sharp contrast to the typical California blonde.  In fact the 
only similarity was the dark roots.  Her long hair hung down in waves trying 
their best to be curls down her back.  She wore baggy clothes over her large 
frame.  She didn't notice the glare she was getting.

   Eight teens walked into the bar, each coded by a different color, followed 
by a flying squirrel dressed in red.  They sat over at a large table near the 
center of the cafe section.  Ernie automatically gave each his or her usual.  
They absently nodded to Ernie, then began their conversation as if the rest of 
the world no longer existed.
   Billy sighed and rested her head in her hands.   "I haven't been able to 
reach Alpha lately.  I'm starting to worry about him.  Maybe he just doesn't 
like the new me?"
   Trini, now dressed in gray, put her arms around her friend.  "Relax.  Last 
time we spoke to him he said Zordon had a really big project for him.  Zordon 
probably has him tied up right now, especially since Serpentera stole the rest 
of our Zords."

   Deep in the Command Center, in a hidden chamber, chains held Alpha-5 
loosely enough for him to lower his arms, but close enough he couldn't sit 
down.  Alpha's shell lay in peices in one corner of the dark cell, his 
Ken-doll clone body exposed.  "Bill-eee," he moaned.  "Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi."

   The squirrel sat in a high chair between the two boys in the group.  "At 
least you're still human, Billy.  Look on the bright side."
   Kimberly looked around the juice bar.  "I can't believe no one noticed the 
difference.  I thought we were going to have trouble with our parents and 
getting into school."
   Tommy nodded.  "I was about to walk in the ladies' room and one of my 
friends stopped me!  He asked me if I was illiterate or just blind.  Can you 
beieve it?"
   Ayesha nodded appreciatively.  "One of my teachers asked me if I had done 
something to my hair.  That's as close to anyone noticing I got."
   Zack, who now dressed in purple, sighed.  "At least I got Gordon to go out 
with me."
   Jason, dressed all in dark orange and brown, changed the subject.  "I 
wonder why Zordon decided to rehire us?  I wish he'd make up his mind."
   Billy looked slightly distracted.  "Did you hear that?"
   Tommy blinked, interrupted in mid-thought.  "Hear what?"
   "That loud rumbling.  Can't you hear it?  Sounds almost like thunder."

   A bleeping pierced the silence in the main office of Xavier's School for 
Gifted Youngsters.  The headmaster studied the map of the United States in the 
back of his office, the source of the bleeping.  A red point of light flashed 
in California.  He pressed a button on his hoverchair.  "Cyclops, assemble a 
contact team.  A new mutant has appeared in the Los Angeles area, possibly in 
one of its suburbs."

    A red-haired woman sat at her desk in the FBI offices of Washington, DC., 
poring over the file in front of her.  Her partner sat acroos the desk from 
her, watching her like a puppy expecting a treat for doing a trick.  Already 
read pages lay strewn about the desk; one even lay carelessly draped over a 
mug of coffee.  The file was an inch and a half thick, and the words "Angel 
Grove" were printed on the tab of its folder.
   Finally, she gathered up the pages, giving their order only subconcious 
attention.  "Interesting stuff, Mulder, but they don't exactly need us to 
prove anything.  There's plenty of documentation that these creatures do 
indeed exist."
   "You don't understand, Scully, we're supposed to investigate the Power 
Rangers.  Six civilians with technology the government doesn't know about?  
Our job is to find out who these Rangers really are, and the source of their 
technology."

   An asteroid streaked through what would have been the moon's sky at about 
the time Billy heard the strange rumbling.  Rita Repulsa stood at one of the 
windows facing Earth, watching a particularly imaginative couple through her 
telescope.  She found her view blocked by the falling star, which was falling 
staight towards her.
   The object screamed (literally) into Rita's castle, knocking her into the 
far wall.  The somewhat charred, smoking object gathered itself up and coughed 
a bit.  Rita blinked in recognition and ran toward the pile of bones.  She 
hugged it tightly.
   "Rito!  Brother!"  she screeched.  "What are you doing here?  Last I heard, 
you were terrorizing another galaxy.  Had your headquarters in, unh, Eternia.  
What was it they called you there?"
   "Eh, Skeletor.  Is that a dumb name or what?"  He carefully pulled himself 
away from his sister.  Her nipple cones had slipped through his ribs and 
scratched his backbone.
   "Hey!  I heard ya got married.  Where is old Ed?"  He looked around the 
disheveled throne room.  The throne itself was facing away from the siblings.
   "Oh, him.  He's playing with his staff right now, trying to think of a new 
way to get rid of the Power Brats.  They managed to put him in jail for 
awhile, but we hired OJ Simpson's defense team.  The prosecution dropped all 
the charges almost immediately."

   Two young men in police uniforms sauntered into the bar, trying their best 
to swagger.  What they actually did was bump into each other and the walls.  
One who did not know better might even have called them drunk.  They managed 
to find their way to the juice counter without serious physical injury.
   Ernie faced them sterly.  "Alright, boys.  No money, no service.  You two 
haven't paid your tab in two years.  And you cause more property damage than 
those stupid monsters that attack every week."
   Bulk placed a five on the table.  "See, we're earning a living now and not 
putting all our time and money into finding the real identity of the Power 
Rangers."
   Two of the early group, the purple shirted guy and his thirsty friend with 
the denim jacket, started snickering.  "Hey!"  Bulk slammed his hand down on 
the counter.  "What's so funny?"
   The other girl looked up.  "Is something going on?"
   "No, Gwen, go back to Texas Twilight."
   "Oh, OK."
   The first young lady nodded, a wicked gleam in her eye.  "Sure do.  So do my
currently oblivious friends.  How could you not know?"
   Skull tried his best to sit in her lap.  "Then who are they?"
   The large man patted Skull on the head lightly.  "You wouldn't believe us 
if we told you.  Besides, you're smart enough to figure it out on your own."
   Bulk blanched.  "Well. . .suppose we aren't?"
   The girl looked doubtful.  "I don't know, Rob, should we tell them?"
   Rob grinned.  "We can at least tell them how we found out, Susan, can't we?"

   "Uh-oh."
   "Billy, what's wrong?  You've been acting weird all afternoon."
   Billy spoke in hushed tones.  "Those individuals at the telecommunication 
terminals have discerned our true identities."
   Kimberly looked more confused than usual.  "Could you say that in English?"
   Trini translated, as usual.  "The net geeks know we're the Power Rangers."
   Jason put her head in her hands.  "Great.  I bet they're the new villains 
we're supposed to face."
   Kimberly still looked confused.  "But Zordon hasn't even called us yet.  He 
hasn't contacted us since the Zords were stolen."
   Ayesha looked closely at his best friend.  "Haven't you noticed that 
whoever knows our identities either becomes part of the team or villains?  The 
team's too big as it is, so they must be villains."
                     ***BREET-DEE-DIT-DA-DEET-DEE***
   Tommy quietly removed herself from the table and walked to the lockers.  
The hallway was empty, as it always was when Zordon called.  "Yeah, Zordon, 
what's up?"
   "Tommy, bring the other Rangers with you to the Command Center.  We have 
important matters to discuss.  I have found a new power source for you."

   In the computer section of the juice bar, Susan placed another dollar bill 
on the counter.  "Barkeep!  Refill!"  After no response was forthcoming in a 
few seconds, she looked around the youth center -- Ernie was nowhere to be 
found.  "Barkeep?  Jeez, what's a girl got to do to get some orange juice 
around here?"

   Four teens sat in a quiet corner of the Cafe Maison, in Beverly Hills, 
trying to talk to each other with out gaining anyone's notice.  Gordon, a dead 
ringer for Michael J. Fox, seemed to be far away.
   "--It was so weird!  I mean, things were going like they usually do, and 
there was this flash, and suddenly, I've got his girl in bed with me!"  Lori 
looked rather horrified.  "Jason keeps trying to see me, but I can't get past 
the fact that he's a she!"
   Swentin was blushing furiously.  He wasn't used to open talk about sex.  He 
didn't even remember his first time; he fainted sometime in the middle of it, 
he was sure.  He took comfort in Drew's reassurances that it had been very 
good.
   Drew took the whole story in rather matter-of-factly.  "You should tell him 
- her - whatever - that, then.  You owe him at least that much."
   Swentin desperately tried to change the subject before his nose started to 
bleed.  "Um, anyone notice how quiet it's been recently?  I know we were 
cancelled, but Gorganus kept attacking anyway."
   Lori seemed relieved to change the topic at that point.  "True.  Remember 
what happened last time?  We ended up having to fight two megalomaniacs."
   Gordon returned from fantasies of his latest love interest.  "I doubt 
that'll happen again.  Maybe even megalomaniacs need a vacation."

   The Rangers made their way to the locker area en masse and unnoticed.  They 
disappeared in multi-color streaks of light.
   In the Command Center, Zordon let Alpha free so he could put out the Power 
Rangers new uniforms.  Zordon, it seemed was far more interested in his new 
robotic ally, Ninjor.  Ninjor was from the center of the universe, a 
representative of the ninjetti, and a new source of pleasure for Zordon.
  Rainbow ribbons of light landed in front of the viewing globe and 
materialized into the Power Rangers.  Ninjor and Alpha stood on opposite 
sides of the control panels, which were currently draped with the Rangers' 
new outfits.
   Tommy strode dramatically in front of the rest of the Rangers.  "What's the 
big deal, Zordon?  Why all the secrecy?"  Her voice didn't come out as strong 
as she would have liked:  a result of her recent, involuntary sex change.
   "Since your old Zords were stolen by Serpentera, we made a deal with the 
ninjetti to use their infinite power source.  Ninjor represents them and will 
explain how to use it."  Tommy made a mental note to get Billy to remember 
that volume control.
   Ninjor started gesturing dramatically with his hands. "The power of the 
ninja comes from within, Rangers.  You must search within yourselves for the 
connection to the ninjetti power source and there you will also find your new 
Zords."  His voice sounded a bit like Mighty Mouse's on steroids.
   The Rangers held hands and concentrated.  Soon, the piles of clothing 
disappeared one by one from the control panels and reappeared on the Rangers.  
In the center of each was a golden coin about the size of a jam jar lid.
After all the piles disappeared, the kids relaxed.
   Ninjor continued speaking.  "On your new power coins are the symbols of 
your new Zords.  They are the animal reflection of your strengths.  For that 
is the true power of the ninja!"
   Each of the Rangers looked down to the power coin on his or her chest.  A 
falcon stooping decorated Tommy's, while a crane in flight was on Kimberly's.  
Rocky smiled ironically; his was an ape.  Billy was pleased to discover a wolf 
gracing her coin, and Ayesha was somewhat surprised to find a bear on his.  
Trini raised an eyebrow at the sinuous snake on her coin.  Zach smiled and 
traced the lines of the running deer on her coin.  Jason grinned at the spider 
on her coin.  Only Adam seemed disappointed.
   "I'm a frog," she whined.  "Adam, alias The Frog!"  She tried her best to 
do a Vicki Lawrence imitation.
   "I suppose it's better than being a moose," Trini offered.
   Adam paled slightly.

   Lord Zed finished playing with his staff and pushed the button on his 
thrine to turn it back to the main hall.  It was in shambles, and in the 
middle of it all, his wife was having her way with a skeleton in the middle of 
the floor.  (He had a real boner)  The skeleton's right half was painted in a 
camouflage pattern, the left half was plain.  Zed sighed;  Rita was such an 
exhibitionist.
   A bright, white light appeared in the throne room, interrupting Rita and 
her undead partner.  A large figure stepped out; Zed recognized him 
immediately.  He was Gorganus, a former partner in an elaborate plot to take 
over the world orchestrated by a lab mouse.  Zed learned his lesson against 
listening to lab mice since then.  The last one landed him in jail.
   "What do you want?" Zed demanded.  "Our partnership ended quite sometime 
ago."
   "I know.  So who is this lovely lady?"  Gorganus bowed to Rita.
   "That's no lady, that's my wife!"
   Rita made a tsk gesture at Zed.  "I'm Rita Repulsa.  And who are you?"  She 
giggled coquetishly.
   "My name is Emperor Gorganus, a former partner of your husband's.  Our 
alliance was brief, but I think we worked well together."
   Zed flared a bright red.  "Those two brat teams joined together, remember?"
   "But what if we had our own team along with the monsters?  The team to 
supply the brains, and the monsters to supply the brawn."
   Zed thought a moment or two.  "All right, Gorganus.  We accept your offer.  
All we can do is lose. . .again."

   Mulder and Scully arrived early that evening in Angel Grove, just in time 
to watch the sun set.  They checked into the Angel Grove Inn, posing as 
husband and wife.  They would stay for the week, then report back to their 
superiors in Washington.
   The two agreed the best course of action was to ask around town first.  If 
no one knew anything, then they would wait for a monster to attack and follow 
the Rangers.
   "You're the expert on monsters, Mulder.  Where should we start our little 
hunt?  Those on the videos looked an awful lot like a guy in a rubber suit.  
You know, like what they used in those Godzilla movies."
   "Most of the initial sightings have been in Angel Grove Park, so that's 
where we'll start."

   The Blackbird screamed through the American sky on its way from onoe coast 
to its opposite.  On board, the jet's passengers passed the time playing card, 
talking, and other pastimes.  the plane flew on autopilot.
   "So, Cyclops, how we gon' search fo' dis new mutant?  Los Angeles is a big 
place, an' dere's only six o' us.  An' you got de only portable Cerebro I know 
of."
   Scott Summers sighed quietly.  Gambit was a pain, but the former thief's 
skills could be useful.  Ororo proved that more than once with her own 
formidable lockpicking skills.  Unfortunately, she wasn't available for this 
mission; he far preferred Storm's company to Gambit's.  In fact, he far 
preferred Magneto's company to Gambit's.
   "We're near enough now that we can use the cerebro unit on board to 
pinpoint the mutant within a city block.  Then, we can track the mutant down 
with my portable unit.  Iceman and Cannonball woll make the first contact.  
The rest of us will wait nearby in case there's any trouble.
   "Passing over Angel Grove, now, Scott," Psylocke called out from the 
co-pilot's chair.  "There's some sort of large object in our path.  There!"  
She pointed out. 
   A large serpentine shape, big enough to dwarf even a battleship, undualted 
in the skies.  It moved erratically, and let out a loud, high pitched moan.

   Zordon had to concentrate to keep himself from drooling over the Power 
Rangers in their new costumes.  The new outfits weren't tight like spandex, 
revealing everything, but a sheer fabric with a bloomy design that revealed 
and hid secrets randomly, making them all the more intriguing.  All in all, 
the Rangers looked as if they had escaped from a harem.
   "Now, to call your Zords into being, you must concentrate on your animal 
and what it means to you.  That is the true power of the ninja!"  Ninjor 
continued, gesturing wildly enough that Alpha gave him a wide berth.
   "With luck," Zordon boomed, "this will reverse the havoc wrought months 
ago."
   The Rangers closed their eyes and held hands once again.  A golden glow 
emanated slowly outward from them, filling the Comand center.  Eventually, the 
light spilled out into the desert.  Up in the sky, a Blackbird jet's 
passengers found themselves blinded by the radiance.
   The glow dissapated slowly, but much faster than it grew.  The Rangers 
looked each other and themselves over very carefully.  "Damn," they said in 
unison.
   "Now, I suppose we go merrily on our way until Zed attacks again?"  Tommy 
arched her eyebrows.
   "No," Ninjor said, "You must practice your new ninja powers.  Right now you 
have instinctual use of them, but you must learn control.  That is the true 
power of the ninja!"
   Billy leaned over to Trini.  "I wonder if enough electricity is getting to 
his cranial circuitry."
   Trini suppressed a giggle as Ninjor rambled on.  "you must hone your new 
abilities without neglecting your old skills.  And always remember teamwork, 
for that is the true power of the ninja!"
   Gradually, Billy tuned out Ninjor's chatter.  Everything, it seemed, was 
the true power of the ninja.  Nevermind that the ninja were spies, thieves, 
and assassins.  As Ninjor's voice faded to a low drone,  Billy noticed a tiny 
voice crying out for help.
   Hello.  This is weird, she thought.  It seemed to be coming from a disk on 
one of the secondary control panels.  In fact, it was on the one right beside 
her.  She slowly reached out and touched it, grabbed it, without quite knowing 
what she was doing.  The tiny voice continued to plead for rescue.  Couldn't 
anyone else hear it?
  Ninjor finally finished his spiel.  The Rangers, in varying stages of 
boredom, returned to reality slowly, smiling politely.
   "Uhm, gee, Ninjor."  Tommy glanced at her watch.  "Look at the time.  Wish 
we could stay, but we don't want to be missed by our parents, you know."
   "Of course, Rangers.  Family responsibility is the true power of the ninja! 
 Return here tomorrow to begin your training."

   The Rangers landed back in the juice bar, which was close to closing, 
somehow re-clad in their street clothes.  The computer people were negotiating 
with Ernie to stay for the night.
   The group watched for a moment or two, then made their way quietly out.  
They said good night, then split up along their separate ways.  Billy and 
Trini headed of together to Billy's lab.

    In the lab, Trini finally noticed the disk Billy carried in her right 
hand.  "Billy, where'd that disk come from?"
   Billy looked down; she had forgotten the disk entirely.  Now that her 
attention was drawn to it, she could hear the tiny voice again.  "I found it 
in the Command Center.  Wait a minute. . .  Isn't this the disk we downloaded 
that Servo anti-virus program onto for Zordon?"
   Trini shrugged.  "Could be.  But why bother with it now?"
   Billy blushed.  "I've been hearing a voice from it, asking for help."
   "What?!"
   Billy shrugged and looked down at the disk.  "I heard it first a few months 
ago, and then again today.  I know it sounds insane, but-"  She shrugged 
again.  "I felt like I had to respond somehow."
   All this nonsense started to worry Trini.  Maybe Billy's involuntary sex 
change had begun to take its toll?
   "I almost made contact back in the Command Center.  I guess I thought I 
could try to free whatever it is trapped on the disk."
   "How?  Destroy the disk?  Upload the program?  What are you going to do?"
   "I don't know.  Maybe I should ask it."  Billy sat on the well-worn cot in 
a dusty corner of the lab.  She stared off into space.  Systematically tuning 
out everything but the tiny voice.
   "Billy. . .  I hope you know what you're doing."
   Billy closed her eyes and let herself be drawn to the voice.  She only 
opened them  when the voice stopped calling and she felt an armored body 
hugging her close.  Billy hugged it back passionately; it felt like a large 
version of Alpha.
   "It's so good to see another program here!  At least I'll have some 
company in my captivity now."  The speaker appeared to be an android 
version of Ultraman.   "I was battling a megavirus monster and suddenly I got 
sucked into a whirlpool.  Next thing I know, I'm in a foreign system called 
Zordon and fighting another megavirus there.  Then I got sucked back into the 
whirlpool, and I was here.  I've calling out for help for what seems like 
forever."
   "I'm not really a program.  I'm the one who put you here.   I didn't 
realize you had sentience, but now I do and want to help put you back where 
you belong."  Billy blinked.  Her voice sounded masculine, like it used to.  
She looked down, discreetly. He was a guy again!  He cleared his throat.  "Do
you know how I may be of assisstance?"
   "If you're not a program, how can you be here?"
   "And I might ask you how an anti-virus program can attain sentience.  The 
answer to both is that it doesn't matter."
   The program sighed heavily.   "Maybe you could upload me back to where you 
found me.  How long have I been here?  It seems like years."
   "About six months."
   Billy looked around at his surroundings.  Black, flat, bare rock stretched 
out as far as he could see.  A flock of rubber chickens strutted across the 
horizon.  For some reason, Billy imagined them morphing into power eagles.  
"But if I uploaded you, wouldn't that just be a copy?"
   The program shrugged.  "Could be, but then I'd just be a copy of me.  
That's just too weird for me to think about.  If all goes well, then this disk 
will be empty after you upload me."

   Billy snapped back into his body abruptly.  Trini was slapping him, hard.  
"Come on, Billy.  Snap out of it!  This is really starting to scare me."
   "Ow!  Trini!  I just got the information I needed to rescue that program."
Billy realized he was stuck as a female again and sighed.  She walked over to 
her computer and popped in the disk.
   Trini placed the back of her hand on Billy's forehead.  "Hmmm.  No fever.  
You must be crazy, then."
   Billy typed in a few commands.  "Well, it's done.  Now let me just check 
the directory to see if it's empty."
   A face appeared on screen.  Billy recognized immediately as the face of the 
Servo program.  Trini jumped back.  "Aaaagh!  It's Ultraman!"
   "Um, no.  My name is Servo.  I just wanted to thank whoever set me free."  
The face looked around as best it could, confined as it was to the monitor 
screen.  "Where is he?"
   "I believe you're looking for me," Billy said.
   "Somehow I remember you being a bit less feminine.  Oh, well.   Thank you!  
I can now go home."  The screen returned to the directory tree of the disk.  
It was empty.
   Trini shook her head.  "This is too weird."

   Bulk and Skull sat in the garage of Skull's house.  The overhead light was 
off; a few sparsley spaced candles provided the only illumination.  The two 
were out of their junior police uniforms, and instead each wore women's red 
french cut panties, three necklaces of garlic bulbs, and oak branches behind 
his ears.  Between them was a Ouija board;  they each had one hand on the 
tripod.
   "OK, Bulk.  We're dressed, and we've washed in sunflower oil.  Now what?"
   Bulk looked down at the paper in his free hand.  The girl from the juice 
bar gave it to him.  She knew the Power Rangers' true identities, she said, 
and this is how she found out.  And she was nice enough to provide detailed 
instructions on how to use the stupid board.  "Uhhhh. . . Now we chant."
   "Chant?  Chant what?"
   "Um."
   "What?  What do we chant?  What's the paper say?"
   "Um, moron, um!  We chant, 'um'!"
   "Oh."
   The two began chanting, out of sync and with no rhythm.  Skull peered 
anxiously down at the board.  Without warning the tripod began to slide around 
the board on its own.
   Upon feeling the motion beneath their hands, the two friends gaped.  Their 
mouths worked silently for a few moments.  They took turns pointing to the 
tripod and each other.  Screams finally tore from their throats.  Not giving 
one thought to their appearance, they ran out into the night.
   The tripod, even without human contact, contiued its motion.  It eventually 
spelled out, "Y-O-U-S-U-C-K-E-R-S".

   The X-Men contact team followed Cyclops and his watch down the dark but 
unthreatening neighborhood street.  A soft bleeping, originating from Cyclops' 
watch, pierced the still night air.  Gradually, the bleeping was joined by a 
screaming.
   Out of a hedge of one of the nearby houses, two figures, the source of the 
screaming, burst onto the scene.  One was very large, the other skinny.   They 
wore women's underwear, garlic necklaces, branches, and their skin glistened 
oddly in the streetlight.
   Rogue shook her head.  "Ah always knew they was weird out in California."

   Rita watched Bulk and Skull's antics through her telescope.  Those two were 
almost as entertaining as the Pink and White Rangers.  She tried watching the 
Blue and Yellow Rangers and their little robot friend, but they suffered from 
a severe lack of imagination.
   Whoever thought of that trick had a great potential for their evil little 
band.  Rita was working on an operative now, but breaking down a basically 
good person, while fun,  was harder and riskier than someone well on their wa 
down to badness.  The kitty-cat she was working on might well turn on her 
someday.
   Zed tapped Rita on the shoulder.  "Time to put that away, Rita, my dear.  
Time to go create some of our own action."  Tonight held more promise than 
usual; her brother Rito would be joining them, as well as Goldar.

   Lori sat with Jason on the porch of Lori's house.  Jason rested her head on 
one hand; Lori just looked uncomfortable.  "Jason, y'know, it's, um, kinda 
difficult to talk about this."  Her voice dropped off.
   "What, that I'm a girl now and your feelings for me have changed?  I don't 
blame you.  But it's not as if this was intentional.  Can't you think of me as 
I was?"
   "I've tried that, but reality keeps intruding!  I just can't respond to 
another woman."
   Jason stood up and kissed Lori lightly on the cheek.  "Bye, Lori."




   Tommy, Kim, and Saba paused for a moment to catch their collective breath 
from the night's exertions.  They lay in a pile of tangled limbs on the dusty 
floor of Tommy's grandfather's cabin's basement.
   Tommy grinned, sweat trickling down the side of her face.  "Was that 
better, Kim?  There was no middle."
   "Yeah, but I don't think I'll ever walk normally again."

                                    ******

   The "computer people", as they were affectionately called, were still in 
their seats when Ernie opened the juice bar.  "Geez, don't you people have 
lives?"
   "No," came the unanimous response.

   Mulder and Scully sat on a bench in Angel Grove Park, comparing notes.  In 
the skies above, a dark shape writhed and slid over the park.
   "No one I spoke to had any ideas, either, Mulder.  All they knew was when a 
monster attacked, the Rangers were always around to defeat them."
   "But we do know they're local.  And two of the people I spoke two swore 
they knew who the Rangers were, but couldn't name names.  I suspect they were 
just crackpots."
   "So, now we wait here?"  Scully watched the people around her for awhile.  
"This is strange.  For some reason, I don't care who the Rangers are.  I just 
want to go shopping on Rodeo Drive."
   Mulder raised an eyebrow at his partner.

  Rita and Zed waited for Gorganus on the balcony of their lunar castle.  Just 
before finding Bulk and Skull's antics, she spotted a group of people in the 
juice bar in front of computer terminals.  If they were more interested in 
computers than sex, she reasoned, they must be highly intelligent.  These 
would make the perfect team for their anti-Rangers.
  Gorganus finally made his appearance, fashionably late.  Rita explained her 
proposal and Gorganus nodded.  "Perhaps you are right, Ms. Repulsa.  Now, what 
about their equipment?"
  "One of our agents managed to capture the Rangers' vehicles some months ago. 
However, she refuses to give up the red one."  Zed shook his head in disgust, 
then continued.  "To make six, we'll have to use spare parts for Serpentera 
and some of the parts from the other Zords."
   Rita grinned.  "Anti-zords for our anti-Rangers!"

   In the juice bar, Bulk and Skull realted their version of the previous 
night's excitement to the computer fiends.  "--And the pointer started moving, 
just like you said it would.  It told us to go outside, and when we did, we 
found the Power Rangers."
   Susan tried her best to choke on her orange juice.  A few stray dribbles 
started to come out of her nose.  Her large friend started giggling.  She 
finally managed to swallow and blurt out,"You're not helping any, Rob! *hic!*
   At the sound of the hiccough, the entire population of the juice bar 
stopped talking and looked for its source.  Susan shot an evil glance to Bulk 
and Skull.  "Remind *hic!* me to  ki *hic!* hill you later."
   "Hey!  It's not our fault you got the hiccups."
   "Maybe not, *hic!* but you're convene *hic* yent."
   A large, menacing figure chose that moment to enter the youth center.  It 
glared first at the room in general, then at Bulk and Shull specifically.  
"Uuurrrrrrrrrrgh," it told them.
   The two junior police officers squealed like stuck pigs.  They bumped into 
each other, the juice counter, and various other obstacles on their way out.
   "Thank you, Robert, I do believe you cured my hiccoughs."
   "Hrrrrrgh.   I see I need to sit on you.  C'mon, shorty.  The old people
are looking for you."
   "But I'm in the middle of pouncing on defenseless creatures."
   "Tough."
   The juice bar filled with a bright, white ball of crackling energy.  When 
it faded, six of Ernie's patron's had vanished and several more needed to 
change their underwear.

   Alpha joined Trini and Billy very early that morning and the threesome was 
still going (one of the advantages of having a robot as the male involved).  
Billy and Trini were taking turns riding Alpha, literally.  Trini found a 
saddle and whip buried deep in Billy's closet.  They were gifts from well- 
intentioned relatives to a young boy they thought should get out more often.  
Upon seeing the saddle, Trini came up with an intriguing use for the horn.
   The doorbell rang.
   Billy hastily pulled a blue fleece robe over the blue silk teddy she was 
currently wearing;  Trini and Alpha were more quiet about their fun.  Shutting 
the door to her lab behind her, she padded out to the living room.  She 
glanced up at the clock; the time was eight-thirty.  The doorbell rang again.
   "Just a minute!" she called out.  She creaked open the door.  On the 
opposite side were two men.  One was blonde, about Billy's age; his partner 
was somewhat older, with dark hair.  They wore business suits.  "If you're 
Jehova's Witnesses, I already have a lifetime subscription to The Watchtower."
   "No, Miss, we're not Jehova's Witnesses.  My name is Bobby Drake and this," 
he indicated Cannonball," is Sam Guthrie.  We're here representing Xavier's 
School for Gifted Youngsters."  The older one smiled pleasantly.  The blonde 
smiled, too, but more nervously.  The contact team had found their new mutant 
last night, soon after the bizarre encounter with the loonies in women's 
underwear.  After that, Sam thought he could handle anything.  However, even 
though Sam knew about lesbianism, nothing prepared him for the actual sight 
of two women having sex.
   Cyclops thought it was a good idea to study their target a bit before 
introducing themselves, to get an idea how best to make their approach.  They 
found a convenient bush to hide behind, and watched through a window left 
carelessly open.  Sam was shocked enough by the display he saw going on in the 
bedroom, but even more so when Gambit brought out popcorn and a camcorder.  
When Sam and Bobby left, he was on his second six hour tape.
   "Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters?  The exclusive New York school?  
Come in, come in."  Billy opened the door wide to let heer visitors inside.
   "I'm very flattered you want to talk with me.  Xavier's school's reputation 
is well-known even here."
   "Thank you, Miss. . ." Bobby cocked an eyebrow.
   "Billy, just call me Billy."  She looked slightly uncomfortable.
   "We'd like to invite you to attend the school, or its counterpart, the 
Massachussetts Academy."
   "I don't know about  switching schools.  I mean, my friends are here and 
I'll be graduating at the end of the year."
   "Yes, well. . .  Do you know anything about the X-Men, Billy?"  Bobby hoped 
that if this tack worked for Ororo, it would work for him.
   "Affirmative.  They're a mutant group operating out of New York."  She 
arched an eyebrow.  "What do they have to do with this?"
   "Both the School and the Academy are places where young mutants learn to 
control their powers."  Bobby pulled a card out of his shirt pocket and wrote 
a number on it.  "This is where you can reach us.  We'll be in town for a few 
more days, yet, if you'd like to talk.  Sam, here, might even say a few 
words."  He playfully poked Sam in the ribs with his elbow.  "Please give our 
offer serious consideration."
   Billy showed the two men out, then walked back to the lab for a talk with 
Trini and Alpha.  Alpha was unavailable, though.  He sat in a dusty corner of 
the lab, plugged into an outlet.  The red light which normally swept across 
his visor was still.  Billy thought she could hear a tired "Ay-yi-yi" coming 
from him, however.
   Trini, meanwhile, was busy pleasuring herself with the ears of a plush 
pink bunny beating a drum.  It beat the drum faster and faster as Trini headed 
toward a climax.  As she explained later, she wanted something that would keep 
going and going and going....

   Cyclops, Psylocke, and Rogue neared the source of the golden light that 
blinded them on their way in to Angle Grove.  Iceman and Cannonball were 
contacting their mutant, and Gambit was taping the continuing escapades in the 
bedroom.  At the top of one hill, the team spied a strange building, somewhat 
resembling an old observatory.  That, they decided, was a good place to start 
their investigation.
   The hill was a rocky, but not particularly steep climb.  Not that it 
mattered to Rogue, who flew ahead of her teammates.  When Cyclops and Psylocke 
finally caught up, Rogue had already found their way in.  "Th' front door's on 
th' opposite side from here.  Place looks abandoned."
   Psylocke closed her eyes a moment, concentrating.  "It's not.  I pick up 
two mental impressions inside."
   Cyclops nodded.  "So we walk in, and calmly ask them if they know anything 
about that light.  Let's hope they cooperate."
   Rogue led them to the door, which she opened slowly on silent, well-oiled 
inges.  They followed a cave-like corridor which opened to the main room of 
the building.
   A giant face hovered in the center of the room, in a odd columnal 
structure.  The structure was flanked on two sides by control panels, and a 
large control panel at its base.  A human-sized android stood facing the 
column.  It gestured wildly, and all the X-Men could make out of the 
conversation was something about the true power of the ninja.

   Bulk and Skull sat on one of the two benches in all of Angel Grove Park.  
They knew what the Rangers really looked like, now, but they still didn't have 
names.  Bulk sighed.   "Well, Skull, I guess we search the entire park, and 
see what we turn up."
   The day was well into night when the two finished searching the five square 
mile expanse of the park.  All they found was a discarded, tube-like device, 
that may have been a cannon.  they decided to keep it with them as an excuse 
to meet with the Rangers.

   The six kidnapees from the juice bar found themselves in a dark throne room, 
facing a large red man with a 'z' on his headpiece and a large 'Z' on his 
staff.  He was accompanied by a Japanese woman with her hair done to resemble 
horns and nipple cones to rival Madonna's.  Off to one side, a winged monkey 
and a skeleton argued with one another.  Rob was the first to speak.  "I don't 
think we're in Kansas anymore, guys."
  "Yeah," Chris said.  "But there's a lovely Earth out tonight."
   The red man glowed faintly.  "Enough!  I have brought you here to 
make a proposition."
   "Eyeeeeeeeew!"
   Chris pointed to Susan.  "You want to talk to her,then."  Robert elbowed 
him high in the ribs.
   Susan looked indignant.  "I'm not that kind of a girl."
   Zed shook his head.  "I want to offer you a share in the powers of evil."
   "Come to the dark side, Luke...."
   Zed ignored Rob's interjection.  "We want you to be our anti-Rangers."
   Susan arched an eyebrow.  "Why us?  We're not martial artists."
   "We're looking for brains, not brawn.  And the fighting skills come with 
the powers."
   "Oh," Rob said. "then it's okay."
   Gwen shook her head.  "I *don't* want to be associated with the Power 
Rangers."
   Zed growled low, barely audible.  "You *won't* be. If all goes well, you 
will destroy them utterly!"
   "How do you manage to live in such a small place with an ego that big?"
   Zed ignored the comment.  "Do you agree?"
   "Sure.  Why not?"
   "Oh, all right."
   "As long as it involves massive property damage."
   "All right.  But this plot has death star sized holes in it."
   "Urrgh."
   "Eyeeeeeewww."
   "I think that translates as a 'yes'."
   Zed may have smiled behind his grilled mask.  Rita reached behind her and 
pulled out a silver tray which cointained six rings.  She held it in the midst 
of the new Powered Strangers.  
   Gwen reached for the pink coral.  "Ooo, pretty shiny."
   "Oh, nice sapphire."  Julie picked up the ring, which immediately fell out 
of her fingers.  The ring bounced off the floor, in between the nipple cones, 
off the Z-staff, and landed conveniently in Rob's hands.
   "Nothin' but hand.  Hey, I think it likes me."
   Susan peered closely at the white-stoned ring and picked it up.  "Is this a 
moonstone?"
   Robert snorted in Rob's direction, then grabbed the onyx ring.  "Hrrghf."
   Julie reached very carefully for one of the two remaining rings.  The 
yellow topaz winked in the castle's dim lighting.
   "Hrrm.  I guess I get this one.  Red's a good color for me."
   Susan perked up from studying her ring.  "Red?  What stone is that?"
   Chris shrugged.  "Dunno.  Could be garnet, could be ruby, could be red 
glass."
   "Let me see...That color is more characteristic of a ruby than garnet.  And 
the rest don't seem to be glass.  Wanna trade?"
    "Naah.  I like this one."
    "Thbpbpbpbpt!"
   Zed and his lackeys watched the whole scene with impatience bordering on 
disgust.  "Are you quite finished, yet?" he growled.
   Susan put a hand up to Zed's face grill.  "Be a dear, and hold that 
thought?   Go play with your staff or something, 'kay?"
   Zed growled incoherently.  As the Strangers continued making fun of each 
other, he cleared his throat.  "ARE YOU QUITE FINISHED YET?"
   "Oh, I suppose so."
   Zed folded his arms over his chest, apparently satisfied.  "Good.  Now, 
these work very simply, even Rito could understand.  Look at the insides of 
your rings, and you will find the name of your Zord etched there.  Wear the 
rings at all times, and when you need to morph, say the name of your Zord.  
Any questions?"
   The Mightee Moron Powered Strangers thought a moment until each had a 
question.  Chris spoke first.  "Yeah.  This is actually a semi-intelligent 
system.  We don't have to worry about losing the damned things, and all.  So 
why can't you come up with a decent plan of attack?"
   "Are you naked, or is that a costume?" Susan wondered.
   "Eeeeyeee-heeew-heeew."
   "What...is the average flight speed of the unladen swallow?"
   "Once you have control over the world, what are you going to do with it, 
Brain, umm, Zed?" Rob asked.
   Gwen looked around the room, no longer paying any attention.  "Where are 
my keys?"
   Zed raised his staff into the air, glowing brightly. A chorus of "How 
Speilbergian" echoed from the Strangers.  "Enough!!  You are the most annoying 
creatures I have ever encountered!"  He calmed down a bit.  "I see I chose 
well."
     "Chose well?  Like Indiana Jones?"  Robert folded his arms across his 
chest.
     Rita smiled.  "I chose you because you were more interested in computers 
than sex.  An obvious sign of intelligence."
     The group broke into laughter.  Chris managed to stop just long enough to 
blurt out, "Then obviously you didn't *see* what was on our monitors!"  The 
group continued its near hysterical giggles, with the exception of a lone 
"eeyew".
   "So...now what?  We look at our rings then stare at each other?"
   Zed pointed his staff at the group.  "For now..." He chuckled slightly. 
"Don't call us, we'll call you."  A bright flash enveloped the Strangers, and 
they were gone.
   Rita walked up behind her husband, and embraced him from behind.  
"Zeddy-dear, shouldn't we have given them communicators or something like 
that?"
   Zed winced.  "Probably.  Get Finster to work on it...and don't spill too 
much blood getting those things out of my back."

   The new Strangers land in the middle of Angel Grove Park, near a red-haired 
woman and a dark-haired man.  The couple paid no attention to them.
   They were about to return to their respective homes, when Chris stopped 
short.  "Shouldn't we have communicators, or something?"
   Susan looked vaguely annoyed.  "That's what telephones are for."
   "Maybe we should go to Radio Shack and pick up some cellular phones?" Rob 
suggested.
   "We could use a central control of some sort, too," Robert pointed out.
    Susan smirked.  "Okay.  Robert and Chris, you guys work on the Central 
Control Building.  We could use that abandoned missile silo as a basis. Rob 
can get the phones...Julie, go with him.  Gwen and I can get decorating 
stuff."

     Meanwhile, in the juice bar, Ernie looked up from wiping the counter.  He 
looked into the eyes of Bulk and Skull, saying, "The day I have feared....
whoops!  Forgot who I was."

    The X-Men, who were watching the big, giant head with great interest, were 
surprised when it said, "Two papaya-guava-kumquat smoothies, coming up."  Then
promptly winked out of existence.  Cyclops was tempted to go and get Gambit's
camcorder as a beautiful woman scantily clad in a leather bikini stepped
out of some bulky blue power armor.
   She wiped her forehead.  "I thought he'd never leave.  That armor suit is 
*hot*."  She looked around.  "All right, come on out.  I know you're there."
   Cyclops waved everyone to step out into the open.   For the first time, he 
was glad Jean wasn't with him on this trip; she'd never forgive the thoughts 
he was having right now.  He cleared his throat.  "Ahem, yes...we were flying 
overhead when we saw a flash of light.  We pinpointed its origin to here, and 
came in to investigate."
   Dulcea looked closely at the assembled mutants.  "What that was, is none of 
your business.  Now, kindly go."  She suddenly held a feathered staff in her 
hands.  The X-Men didn't want to know where she'd been hiding it.

   Scully dragged Mulder with her into the nearest mall, gum merrily snapping. 
Fox wasn't quite sure what to make of the change in his partner.  Aliens.. or 
gummi bears munching on her brain.  Whatever it was, he'd have to find a 
cure before his credit cards went past their limits.  If it was something 
local, maybe it would account for all the strange sightings of monsters and 
cartoon heroes.
                               *****

   Zordon summoned the Rangers to the Command Center early the next morning. 
By some miracle, Billy actually remembered her remote control, so the Rangers 
were able to listen without risking their eardrums.  Alpha was back at his 
post; Ninjor had to go back to his home planet.
   "Rangers, the day I have feared the most has come to pass.  Zed and 
Gorganus have teamed up once again.  This time, they have successfully crated 
anti-Rangers.  Behold the viewing globe."
   The globe showed the scene of the Powered Strangers recieving their power 
rings.  Zack squinted to make out their faces.  "Hey, aren't they those geeks 
from the juice bar?"
   Jason grinned and hit Kimberly lightly on the shoulder.  "See," she said,"I 
told you they'd be the new villains."  Kimberly merely rolled his eyes.
   Jason crossed her arms.  "So....where can we find them now?"
   The scene in the viewing globe dissolved slowly to an area just outside of 
town.  The Strangers were gathered in front of the entrance, two of the girls 
were holding boxes of various curios and other objects d'art, with more at 
their feet.  "It's the old missle silo!" Tommy exclaimed.

   At the missle silo, Susan and Gwen shifted their uncomfortable burdens 
carefully.  "Okay, you guys...let's get on with this.  These things are 
heavy.  By the way, what'd you do with Chris?"
   Robert scowled at his younger sister.  "I locked him in the garage.  He 
wanted to label all the bathrooms `Tods' and `Vixens'.  Besides, he wanted the 
credit for what was mostly my work.  He did the computer systems, but that was 
it."
   Rob looked a bit concerned.  "How long has he been in the garage?  And, 
more important, are the *Zords* in there?"
   "You know, that's the funny thing...The Zords were there when we got here."
   Julie, who was looking in the opposite direction and pretending not to be a 
part of the group, suddenly noticed something.  "Is that a CNN van?"  No one 
paid her any attention.
   Robert led the Strangers through the grand tour of their new Central 
Control.  In the nerve center was a hologram of a voluptuous, naked, 
anthropomorphic vixen.  "Welcome to Central Control, Strangers.  The Master is 
in the garage, improving your Zords."  She spoke in a sultry voice.
   The entire group glared as one at Robert.  "You just *had* to be computer 
illiterate."
   Rob pushed a few buttons, and the image changed to that of a mantis, 
holding a large laser rifle.  "Entertain me!" it demanded.  He pushed a few 
more, and the original hologram was back in place.
   Just then, an older, wall-eyed man in a butler's uniform walked in from an 
adjacent room.  He gestured towards the door from which he came, and motioned 
for them to follow.  Robert smiled.  "And this is our mute butler, Ingmar.  
I think he wants us to let Chris out of the garage.  He's mute, you know."
   The group followed Ingmar, who did indeed lead them to the garage, which 
was actually the missle store house in the complex's original incarnation.  
They opened the door, and stared almost in awe of the zords that filled the 
gargantuan room.  Chris stood proudly on the top of the red zord.  Rob yelled 
up at him, "So, when will these things be ready for a test drive?"

   The Rangers were enjoying milkshakes at Ernie's when the alarm went off in 
the Command Center.  Ernie shook his head, as he realized he was about to 
blurt out the warning to the entire juice bar.  He was getting too old for 
this, he decided, as he pressed the button for the automatic distress call.  
Soon, the eight teens and one squirrel had crowded in the hall, which Ernie 
took as his cue to become Zordon.
   "Rangers," Zordon boomed.  Billy had forgotten her remote once again, and 
his volume had been turned back up.  "Behold the viewig globe.  Zed's 
anti-Rangers have chosen now to strike."  The globe panned to a scene of 
various upright animals, discernible from Zed's normal monsters only because 
they didn't look like rubber suits.
   The Rangers were somewhat confused.  "Are you sure that's them, Zordon?" 
Rocky asked.  "They could just be a group of monsters."
   Trini shook her head.  "Those special effects are too good, and they're in 
color-coded outfits."
   Tommy looked around at the assembled Rangers, as she always did, then 
nodded.  "Let's do it!"

   The Power Rangers teleported into the park in fighting poses.  Tommy 
started gesturing almost as wildly as Ninjor, with little *whup-whup* noises 
resulting from the movement.  "We fight for love and just- Ow!   You're not 
Ow! supposed to hit Ow! me during my Ow! monologue!"
   Susan, now a white tigress,  wielded her ice hammer across one shoulder.  
"I have PMS and the author cut out some of my best scenes for this story."
   Chris, a real fox, stood in the back, poised with hand glowing orange with
flame, ready to fire.  "Damn....I wanted to do that."
   Ayesha stood out in front of Tommy.  "Look, why don't we just make things 
easier on the author.  You're the bad guys, and we outnumber you, so we win."
He had no sooner finished speaking, when he was engulfed in a large gout of 
flame.  He looked much like a charred cartoon figure after the fire died out.
    "*That* was fun!"
    Billy tried a more diplomatic approach.  "Why do you guys want to help 
Lord Zed, anyway?  He hasn't even got you under a spell, according to the 
preceding scene."
    Robert promptly sat on the Blue Ranger.  "It's fun!"  Billy writhed and hit 
uselessly at the large bat-man.
    Gwen, who was now in the form of a squirrel (much to Rocky's delight), 
made a random motion with one arm.  She giggled at the whooshing noise it 
made, which resulted in even more random movements.  Rob paled beneath his 
white panda fur.  Eventually, the blows reached him, and he took them with 
only small ows.  
   The rest of the Strangers and the Rangers stopped what they were doing to 
watch the spectacle.  Soon, the Strangers were *all* experimenting with 
various movements to hear the sound effects.  The Rangers looked vaguely 
disgusted even through the masks of their harem outfits.
   After exhausting the entertainment of noisy motions, the two teams eyed 
each other carefully--with the exception of Julie.  The yellow-clad badger was 
cowering in some shrubbery, chanting "eyeeew".  It made a surprisingly 
effective force field.
    "Look," Tommy said, somewhat annoyed at having a sex marathon postponed.  
"Why don't we just start beating each other with our zords?"
    The Strangers drew into a huddle to consider.  "Okay," Susan said,"we 
don't want to throw you off guard too much by having it settled hand to hand."
    The Rangers put their hands up to the sky in unison.  "We need Ninja Zord 
power, now!"
    "Gray snake ninja zord power!" It was a relief not to have the longest 
zord name.    
    "Purple deer ninja zord power!"
    "Orange Spider ninja spider ninja zord power!"
    "Black frog ninja zord power!"
    "Pink crane ninja zord power!"
    "Yellow bear ninja zord power!"
    "Blue wolf ninja zord power!"
    "Red ape ninja zord power!"
    "White falcon ninja zord power!"
    The Strangers ooohed in feign amazement.  The Power Ranger's zord suddenly 
teleported in from Tokyo, and immediately transformed into the Mega-ultra-
super Falcon Ninja Zord.  It stood in a dramatic stance (Go to Riker's school 
of dramatic posing to learn how!), ready for battle.
    "I guess it's our turn now."   The Strangers put their arms over one 
another's shoulders, and did the can-can.  "We need weird zord power, 
yesterday!"
    "White tiger weird zord power!"
    "Blue panda weird zord power!"
    "Yellow badger weird zord power."  Julie winced visibly.
    "Red fox weird zord power!"
    "Black bat weird zord power!"
    "Pink squirrel weird zord power...can't we think of a better way to do 
this?"
    The Strangers' zords reached the park from the opposite direction of the 
ninja zords.  As the White Tiger Zord reached, the park, it tripped on a 
fallen tree, and did a specatacular flip before landing on its back, legs 
still moving.  Tommy blinked.  "That's *my* Zord!"
   The rest of the Weird Zords paused, and shot out sillystring into a large 
ball for the Tiger Zord to play with.  Susan merely looked disgusted at the 
entire display.  "Blacksmith Tony sure did a shitty job," she muttered.  
   Eventually, the Tiger Zord righted itself, and the Weird Zords continued on 
their way to the Park.  They stayed separated, surrounding the Mega-ultra-
super Falcon Ninja Zord, instead.

    Off in the bushes, well away from any possible blast radius, Bulk and 
Skull cradled a small rocket-launcher-like device.  Bulk grinned vapidly, 
stars in his eyes.  "If we fire this off, we can save the Power Rangers!"  He 
pulled the trigger without a second thought.  Or aiming.
   A small puff of smoke issued from the device, and a bright missle flew into 
the heart of downtown Angel Grove.  The missle's nuclear warhead exploded 
at city hall.  A large mushroom cloud was visible from the Command Center, as 
was the shockwave that engulfed all in its path.  After the dust settled, 
everything was absolutely the same.

   At just thst moment, downtown Tokyo ceased to exist.  Somehow, a nuclear 
missle appeared in the skies and exploded in its heart.  No one claimed 
responsibility, and no evidence of its origin was ever found.

   The Strangers collectively blinked, audibly.   Chris shook his head.  
"Well, that was pointless."
  Susan sauntered off.  "That's it!  I'm going home!"  She stopped short, as 
if suddenly thinking of something.  She walked over Tommy.  "Can I borrow that 
sword of yours?  It's a long walk back to North Carolina."  She whispered 
something in Tommy's ear.  The Ranger blushed furiously.
  Saba immediately manifested in his tiger-morph form.  "I'm not that kind of 
a tiger!"  He fled in terror.

  On the moon, Zed, Rita, and Gorganus watched the fight that wasn't.  "We 
should stick to brainless monsters," they said in unison.

                                      *****

   In the juice bar, both the Rangers and Strangers enjoyed a nice, tall, cool 
glass of OJ to wind down.  The X-Men sat in one corner of the juice bar, while 
Bulk and Skull hounded them for autographs.  Mulder and Scully were on a 
flight back to Washington.
   The principal for Angel Grove High (which comprised grades K through 12) 
rushed into the juice bar, a huge stack of papers in his arms.  He was 
evidently in a hurry; his toupee was more cockeyed than usual.  He rushed over 
to the Rangers.  
   "Kids!" he cried breathlessly.  "We just discovered a clerical error.  You 
were all supposed to graduate five years ago!"  He quickly handed each Ranger 
a diploma....and handed two more to Bulk and Skull.  He skipped merrilly out 
of the bar singing, "I'm free!  Free!"
   Gambit waded through the crowd, and approached Billy.  "I suppose y'all are 
free t' transfer t' Xavier's, no?"
   Billy grinned.  "Only if I can take Trini and Alpha with me." 
   Gambit gave a knowing grin.  "But of course, chere.  Meet us in the park at 
eight o'clock."
   Tommy sighed.  "What are the rest of us supposed to do?  We could only be 
Power Rangers while we were in high school."
   Susan shrugged.  "Join the Texas Rangers?"
   The former Power Rangers grinned.  "That's a *great* idea!"  The Strangers 
banged their heads on the table.
   "I was *kidding*!"

   Back in Washington, D.C., Fox Mulder sat at his desk, finishing his report. 
 Scully was recovering in the hospital nicely, with no memory of what 
happened.  Mulder was relieved to know no permanent damage had been done.  In 
his report, he left the case open, but privately decided the so-called Power 
Rangers, and their monsters were just mass hallucinations. 

   Hugh T. Deville walked into the juice bar, and sat at the counter.  He 
ordered a tall, refreshing glass of cool OJ, hold the blah-blah with a twist 
of yackety-shmackety.  He looked at where he imagined a camera should be.  
"Well, folks, we've come to the end of another Rangers story without me.  I 
really must speak to the author and give her a piece of my mind.
  "So, what did we learn this time, kids?  Absolutely nothing.  Now that the 
Rangers have been graduated, will it keep the author from writing more 
stories?  I doubt it.  So, until next time, remember--  OJ's not just for 
breakfast anymore!"
