products
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
On Sears hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping."
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos:
"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."
(The shoplifter special)
On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions:� Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how...?)
On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion:� Defrost."
(But it's "just" a suggestion.)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box):
"Do not turn upside down."
(Too late!)
On Marks & Spencers Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating."
(As night follows the day...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save more time?)
On Boot's Children's Cough medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning:� May cause drowsiness."
(One would hope.)
On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(As opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use."
(I gotta admit, I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
"Warning:� contains nuts."
(Talk about a newsflash.)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions:� Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3:� Fly Delta.)
On a child's Superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company.� I blame parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Was there a spate of this happening somewhere???)
On a packet of sultanas:
"Serving suggestions: toss over cereal"
(What an appetising thought)
On a packet of dog shampoo
"Not tested on animals"
On an advert for breast implants
"Buy one, get one free"
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