a loss for a response when someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt."

Now you can intellectually handle the situation.

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt.

Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt,

the owner of Needeep N. Schitt Inc. They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the

deeply religious couple produced 6 children: Holie Schitt,

Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins: Deap Schitt

and Dip Schitt.

Against her parent's objections, Deap Schitt married

Dumb Schitt, a high school drop out.

However, after being married 15 years, Jack and Noe

Schitt divorce. Noe Schitt later remarried Ted Sherlock

and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted

to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe

Schitt-Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they

produced a son of nervous disposition, Chicken Schitt.

Two other of the 6 children, Fulla Schitt and Giva

Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and

subsequently married the Happens brothers in a

dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the

newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding.

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and

Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to

tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with

his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt. So now when someone says,

"You don't know Jack Schitt", you can correct them.

Family History Recorded By Crock O. Schitt