Ok...so I lied about "Hitman" being the last "Springer" Fic.... Anyway....All of the best Talkshows have update eps,right?...Well...teehee... *sigh*
I Dedicate this one to all of the GenX(Pre Hama/Buckingham time) out there. also dedicat this to Keldra, simply cause she's been putting up with my GenX babble for 1 1/2 years now...now it's moving to Darkness...but...ah..we have so many memories... Misty, watercolored mer'ries...of the was we were...
I also Dedciate this to all of my friends: Neo,Tora and Hentai Queen.....plz don't kill me fer this one....I come with good intentions :)
Past Guest Confrantations!BY~ NeoPenance [email protected]
Cue Jerry Springer Theme
A: JER-RY!JER-RY!JER-RY!JER-RY!
Jerry: Hi, this is Jerry Springer, I'm back and feelin' fine! Today on our show, we have some viewers wishing to confront past guests of our show.
A:Ohhhhhhhhhh............
Jerry: I'd like you to meet Neo, Katana, Keldra, Tora and Q.
A: Yayyy!
Q: *beee*
All other guests look at Q, puzzled.
Jerry: excuse me?
Q: Sorry, but his is Jerry Springer!I couldn't resist!
Q punches Katana in the arm.
Katana: Hey?!
Q: Sorry.
Jerry: Anyway,Who were the past guests you wanted to meet?
Neo, Katana,Tora and Keldra look at eachother,puzzled.
Keldra: Meet? What's he talking about?
Q:Uh...I have something to tell you guys...
A: Ohhhhhhh........
Neo: Uh-oh....
Tora: Oh nooo...uhg..
Keldra: Q.....?(dragging that out..... but how do ya'write that?)
Q: Well...Y'know how I always wanted to meet either,Weird Al, Corky& The Juice Pigs or Scott Lobdel?
Tora: Uh,oh. I have a bad feeling about this...
Q: Well, this is my fanfic, so....
Keldra: Chamber,right?
Katana: Bad mental image!
A:ohhhhh........
Tora: Etchie!("Etchie" is Japanese for "lecherous person")
Keldra: Humph...
Q: Noooo......Not quite....
Neo: Q? What are you doing? Just say it!
Jerry: Well, how about we bring the person out?
Enter the Darkness and Sabertooth.(The Match o' the Century! Only on Pay Per View!! and this 'fic, of course.)
A:Ohhhhh..........BOooooooooo!*Beee*
Katana: Holy F*beee*!?
Neo: Whoa...?!
Tora: Uhhh....umm...Q?
Keldra:(laughes)hahahahahhaaaahhhhhhahahahahahaha....!
Q: Keldra,You're not helping!
Katana: (Pats Q on shoulder) She's happy for you...
Neo: (fighting giggles)Yeah...
Tora: Man,this is sick.
Q: SICK!? Hey! I'm not the one that lusts over a scantly leather clad Anime He/She! And what's worse, You fight with your friend over he/she/it! At least These guys are mine!
Q Turns to Neo.
Q: And I'm not crazy over a parcially crazy clone with bad hair that shrugs too much!
Q Turns to Katana.
Q: I'm not the one who has an endless suply of Hentai material!
Q turns to Keldra.
Q: I'm Not the one that.....uh....uhm....YEAH! SO THERE!
Katana: Whoa...that was more than I wanted to know.
Neo: Etchie!
Q: *sigh*
Keldra: *sigh* I'll be right back.
Keldra leaves.
Q: And since this is my story...
Tora: Uh,oh...
Neo: Oh,no...
Q: Sabertooth? Come.
Sabertooth crawls on all fours and stops as Q's feet.
Q, drunk on her newfound power, smirks and whispers something into 'Tooth's ear.
'Tooth crawls over to Jerry and begins to get personal with Jerry's leg.
Q and friends laugh hard.
Katana & Q give high fives.
Q: Ok...Sorry....back to the real thing here. Hi,Mr. Estacado,I'm Q.
The Darkness cowers away in his chair and looks at Q and friends
Darkness: Get the F*beee* away from me.
Keldra returns with a bag of jalapeno chips
Neo: Look, Mr. uh...What was his name again?
Q: Estacado.
Neo: Mr..uh...Easta...uh..Mr.E--...
Q: *sigh* Jackie.
Neo: Thanks. Look,Jackie, she's harmless. Q's a little stringy thing. You're a big....strong...
Tora: Etchi! Hentai-mara!(Hentai Mara=perverted dick)
Q: HAHA NO SAIKO!!(Mother F***er)(Ain't Japanese/English dictionaries great ^_^?) SHUT THE F*beee* UP!!
All shut up.
Katana: So, Jackie, how's your love life?...oh,I forgot, you don't have one.
Darkness: How...how'd you know about--?!(As a last attempt to save his masculinity) Uh..I mean,what are you talking about?
Neo: Cut the crap, We know everything about you!
Darkness:Guh?
Tora: Yeah, how far off your trail is the Brotherhood?
Darkness: How d'you know this s*beee*?!
Keldra: The written word.
Darkness: Zuh?..Written...huh....?
Q: Cut it out,you guys, Scaring him s*beee*less won't help me with my master plan. Darkness, calm down...this won't hurt.
Tora:Much...
Neo: (Stiffleing giggles)Kinky!
Q: (thu clenched teeth)Shut up...
Keldra: Humph.
Q:*Sigh* thank you. And for my next trick...!
Enter Larry Hama.
Q: (looking evil) Heh heh heh heh heh...
Keldra: Q? What are you doing?
Tora: Who's that?
Q: Hama.
Keldra: HAMA?! Q! no! Murder is illigal!
Katana: Murder?Hama? Isn't he the one who made Siryn go on about having Banshee's genes?
Q: The same.
Hama: What am I doing here? I was just on my computer, reading my hate mail..when--..
Q: Shut up! You are in no position to talk. You're on my turf now!
Tora: Uh,oh! Duck and cover!(huddles under chair)
Katana: Oh, s*Beee*(backing away)
Neo: Cool! Slaughter!
Keldra looks on, intrested.
Q gets up and walks over to a petrified-with-fear Hama.
Darkness: There's going to be blood,isn't there?
Q nods happily
Darkness,Neo,Katana,Keldra,Tora: COOL!
Tora:Weee...!
Q: Darkness?
Darkness looks up.
Q: Gun.
Darkness complies.
Darkness: Uh..what kind,kid? I have Revlovers...chain guns...S&W's
Q:Couger.
Darkness loads a Couger Magnum and hands it toQ.
Neo: Q? Have you ever used one of those before?
Q: Yes. But if you want the truth....
Neo: Q...?
Q: No.
Katana: (Shrug) First time for everything.
Hama: What do you want with me? I am a humble man...
Darkness:(Now trusting Q&Co.)Shut up.
Katana: Yeah. Q's going through some comic book problems right now. And if this is cathardic for her, well, I'm behind her all the way.
Neo: Yeah.
Tora: Me too.
Keldra: Cool.
Q Shoot's Hama in the foot.
Q: That was for creating the pooka and Dirtnap!
Q Shoot's Hama in the Ankle
Q: M-Plate
Q Shoot's Hama in the Knee.
Q: That was for changing Tracy's name to Stacy!
Q Shoot's Hama in the Thigh
Q: Gaia!
Q Shoot's Hama in the Hip.
Q: That was for Jubilee!
Q Shoot's Hama in the Stomach
Q: That was for Synch!
Q Shoot's Hama in the hand.
Q: That was for Banshee!
Q Shoot's Hama in the Elbow.
Q: That was for Skin!
Q Shoot's Hama in the upper arm.
Q: That was for M
Q Shoot's Hama in the groin.
Q: That was for Emma!
Q Shoot's Hama in the Stomach
Q: That was for Paige!
Q Shoot's Hama in the collar bone.
Q: That was for getting Jono &Paige together!!
Q Shoot's Hama in the other leg.
Q: That was for all the fans.
Q Shoot's Hama in the Ribs.
Q: That was for Chamber!
Hama is now flowing with blood and he is barely alive. But alive.
Hama: ARRRRRRRRRHGGGGGGG!!!
Darkness:(Giddy from the violence)Go ahead! Finish him!!! This ones for you!! Say it ! SAY IT!!!
Q: No. This one's not for me. I had all the pleasure of reducing this s*beee* bag to meatloaf. This ones not for me.
Q Presses gun right between Hama's eyes.
Q: This one's for Penance.
BLAM!!!
Silence as noone knows what to do or say.
Neo: whoa....
Q blow the smoke off of the guns barrel.
Tora:Blink,blink...
Darkness: (Proudly)Your ok,Kid.
Q: (smiling) Heeeee!
Q hands the gun back to the Darkness.
Q:Neo,Katana? HAPPY DANCE!!
Q, Neo & Katana do there Happy Dance.
Jerry: Uh...What have we learned here today? Well, we've learned that--...
BLAM!!
Jerry: Hurk!
Jerry falls to the ground. A pool of blood forms around him.
Darkness standing there, the Magnum smoking.
Darkness: Never did like that guy.
Q& Tora look at eachother.
Tora: Oh my God! They've killed Jerry!
Q: You Bastard!
Katana:(laughing hystarically and clapping her hands) Hahaha! I love it!
Q: Uh...Darkness? This is a little thank you gift...I know it's pretty sad,but...Katana? The binder?
Katana hands Q a black binder.
Q hands the binder over to the Darkness.
Q: I hope you like it.
Jackie opens the binder and....
Darkness: WHOA!
Neo: What was in there?
Katana: Only the best of the best of my Hentai collection!
Darkness: How...oh God!...How did you kids get a hold of this stuff?!
Katana: I'm not called the Hentai Queen for nothin'.
THE END
Man, THAT was therapudic! I feel like having a nice hot bath now...but I can't. I gotta do more stuff...'Till next time!
24/12/98 04:13 PM