Title: The X before the Mass
Author: Bum ([email protected])
Notes: In response to people thinking I'm morbid. Here's a HAPPY Christmas story. PLEASE PLEASE
PLEASE give me feedback. I'm not a beginning writer, but I would like to know if you guys like the
whole slice-of-life stories. I'm trying to argue with my editor to have an issue of StarTrek: Explorer
just dedicated to a "day in the life of". So your feedback is appreciated. If you think I write
"slice-of-life" stuff purty nicely, LET ME KNOW!!
Oh yeah. and last year Picklebottom DID get his X-man uniform. Thank you!!
ANOTHER note!: This story takes place in 1994. Meaning Paige and Jonothon are members of
Generation X. While Monet on down are members of the "Lost" Generation. If you don't know what I'm
talking about when I refer to the Generation Gap and why the dates matter, talk to your sociology
teacher, and if you're in college and you don't know....look at the reaction to the "Beavis and
Butthead Are Dead" episode if you don't believe there isn't a generation gap.
Jubilee looks over at Monet. "That's SOOO not true. You couldn't tell the truth if you, like,
had someone holding the truth in front of you to read off a card!"
Paige rubs her temples. How is it that a thirteen year old and a seventeen end up going to
the same classes, and even end up having to live in the same room.
"Jubilee."
Paige starts trying not to sound to forceful and trying to not look like she's taking sides.
Leaders don't take sides, they just resolve the problem. "Jubilee. Do any of us really have
any clue of each other's pasts? Does anyone know.. or for that matter even CARE? If she
says she spent her last break conversing with Danny Elfman-one of the world's currently
great composers - then maybe she did. How would we know any different?" Then smiling
slightly, Paige tucks a strand of loose blond hair behind her ear and slides her glasses back
up her nose.
"Look. Hayseed. I'm tellin' ya that Danny Elfman is like a the guy that does stuff for total
classic movies like Batman and basically anything cool-"
"Like "Pee-Wee's Playhouse"?" Monet snaps up.
Paige looks up again, a look of mind offense crosses her face. Kids. "If you lived in
America, you would have watched it too." Paige finds herself saying before realizing she
just signed her confession of lame to the youngest girl in the room. She quickly looks back
down at her book. Never before so interested in the extensor carpi radius brevis muscle in
the diagram on the page. Stupid having to live with a 13 year old.
"I challenge you to tell me of your days. The days before the time with the X-men. Back
when you were believed to be fifteen." Monet smiles her mysterious smile.
Both Paige and Jubilee look up at the same time, confused.
"I'm only thirteen goin' on fourteen." Jubilee interrupts.
"Oh.. really? I'm sorry. I must have had you mistaken with someone else then. That or
reality in this universe keeps getting messed up with every month." Monet says again in
her cryptic way.
An uncomfortable silence.
"Okay. Fine." Jubilee starts. She slowly stands up. "Here's a story for you. Before the
X-men. Before I knew I was a mutant. I had my own little adventure, and it doesn't
include meeting some composer that happens to like ansgsty stories and to write sad and
emotional music-"
"There's NOTHING wrong with a perfectly sane and adjusted human being enjoying the
darker side of human existence. As long as said person can pull him- or herself back into
reality whenever the need arises." Paige interrupts with a moment of profound interjection.
"Hello? Peanut Gallery? Please show your ticket to be here? What, you don't have one?
Then be quiet or get out. Geeesh. Let me tell my tale." Jubilee snaps. "Okay then. Ready.
This is the tale of love, of hate and of a shopping mall."
"Shock!" Monet interjects. Jubilee ignores the girl's sarcasm.
"Okay, like it started one day when I was.. No wait. Okay, word on the street was that
the old centerfold mall was haunted. Every Christmas the ghosts would haunt some
hum-bug owners of the store. Now I mean if you were Jewish, Pagan or African.. it was
okay.. I mean as long as you celebrated some sort of holiday during the whole Solace type
of month thing. In other words. As long as you got gifts and supported the local
economy."
"So these were Politically Correct ghosts?" Paige quips.
Jubilee disregards her roommate's comment. "So like these ghosts messed with the wrong
person. You see I had this one friend-"
Monet looks like she's about to interject but Paige slams her books shut, interrupting
Monet's comment before it starts.
"So he was a humbug. but you see his wife died on Christmas so he was all down. And he
owned this mondo cool store called Hot Topic and, well, he didn't DO the Christmas thing.
So the ghost of Christmas Last Week, Presents and Tomorrow started shinin' him tude.
This was most uncool. I man imagine if Hot Topic stopped bein' all dark and went all
Christmas. No way. It's one of the untainted by lameness stores around ya know. Sucking
the life outta the American public by exploiting a holiday is totally NOT cool and-"
"Are you sure the ghosts had the right person?" Monet says as she leans back up against
the wall.
"Sure I'm sure. Now anyway back to the story. So the ghosts were haunting him by like
making him live last week over and over again, Flooding his house with presents an-"
"Wait.. flooding his house with presents?" Paige says as she chuckles to herself, amused
with this story.
"Well DUH! Okay, but it was like a gift for every day of last week. So it was like a partridge
in a pear tree, two turtle doves, eight maids a milking .. You know. Stuff like that. So like
you can imagine how crappy his apartment was getting. Literally."
"That's gross, Lee!"
"Well anyway. Who you gonna call?"
"Oh no." Paige whispers under her breath.
"Yeah, I placed a call to New York City and-"
"Not Owen or Puck.." Paige mutters to herself. "anything but that..."
"I called Kylie and Eduardo. Roland and Garrett were like not around. So anyway they came
up and-"
"Something about this story smells like a-" Monet starts.
"That's because it's full of -" Paige starts but is tastefully interrupted by Jubilee.
"SO ANYWAY. Kylie and Eduardo came up and we started to investigate the ghostly
happenings at the mall."
"This is so bad." Paige mutters as she goes back to her anatomy book.
"But WAIT! It wasn't a ghost you see. We staked out the place and it turns out that it
was old man Smithers-"
"Working for Mr. Burns perhaps?" Monet quips.
"NO! He was a mutant. A telepath, and he didn't like the store manager and he was making
him THINK that this was happening while sending him all these presents."
"And he would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for those pesky kids!" Paige
snickers.
"HEY! I don't hear you telling any stories!" Jubilee snaps back.
Paige smiles but doesn't look up from her book, "that's because I don't have TIME to
watch TV and become all cartoon oriented."
"STORY! STORY! STORY!" Jubilee chants, pouring on the annoyance factor as best she
can.
"Fine." Paige says as she removes her glasses and chews for a second on the earpiece.
"But my story will blow yours away."
"Somehow I believe Paige's ability to fabricate a tale far more exceeds Jubilee's." Monet
chimes. "However normally it's angst filled fabrications based on the adventures of our
group."
With that Paige stands up with hands on hips, "I can tell you the STRANGEST story.. Right
off the top of my head! Right now." then with an added dramatic flair she points a finger
at Jubilee, "I'm a billion times stranger than you'll ever hope to be. Christmas is a time of
strangeness.. of oddness."
"Of loneliness." A telepathic voice intrudes into the girl's minds.
"Jonothon?" Paige asks as she turns. Red rises up her face, the base of her neck starts to
burn.
"Oh look. It's the ghost of Christmas Future." Jubilee mutters as what qualifies as the
gloomiest person she's ever met enters the room. At least Goths have a sense of humor
about their darkness. Jonothon Starsmore is just dark.
"More people commit suicide around this time of the years than any other. Do yer expect
me to get up and dance around? Some of o' us don't really appreciate bein' told what
great a time o' year this is. "
Paige sits back down slowly face still red, "But some of us like Christmas."
"Yeah the sloshy snow. Maybe yer an Lee like it because living in the south or wot not, yer
didn't get more than a dusting. But 'ere.. it lasts all bloody year so it seems. Causes
accidents, and wot with people goin around sayin' have a bloody good time durin' the
season and only pretendin' to care fer the poor round this time, Is it a wonder why anyone
wit' 'alf a brain hates this time o' year."
"Well I have to agree with ya to a degree Jono. I mean after seein' "It's aWonderful Life"
again and again, I almost killed myself too." Jubilee adds. Then she smiles as she makes a
mental note that if she ever wants to subdue Paige, simply have her tragic Romeo walk
into the room.
"Yeah well. I got ter go. Emma wants to cook some cookies and I can't take that bit of
joy." Jonothon says. He looks like for a second he's going to touch Paige's shoulder.
Perhaps to telepathically tell her and her alone something, but thinks better of it and turns
and quietly leaves.
Monet sits and watches as Jonothon leaves with his hands in his pockets and Paige biting
her lower lip looking somewhat like she's holding back an emotional. "Anyone familiar with
the movie Edward Scissorhands?" Monet mentions. "I think we should rent it as the
Christmas movie of choice this year."
"Why not Nightmare before Christmas?" Jubilee asks, completely missing Monet's point.
"Your story Paige?" Monet asks. "Or did the appearance of a particular dark noble man
steal your tongue as well as your heart?"
Paige snaps back to reality, "Huh? Oh um.. sorry." She mutter. "Okay. My story. Well this
takes place right after I turned fifteen. I knew I was a mutant. I just didn't know I was a
meta-morph yet. All I knew was that I could remove my outer layer of skin and have a
copy of myself underneath. Just like snake. It wasn't until I turned sixteen I think, that
when I saved X-force, Cable and the New Warriors that I found out I was able to change
forms-"
"SIGH!" Jubilee blurts out.
"Sorry." Paige mutters. She can't help but every now and then mention how she turned
down becoming a member of X-force to come to this school. "Okay. Sorry. Here we go. I
knew I could remove my outer layer when I got hurt, and when I passed out someone
could remove my layer of skin and I'd be completely healed. Which I wonder if that makes
me on par with Wolverine.. you know if I can instantly heal and-"
"A-HEM!" Jubilee shouts. "To the point please."
"Okay well I became a bit of a daredevil. I told NOONE I was a mutant. I was really excited
about it.. but it was my secret. Didn't tell Sam or Momma or anyone else. Kept that secret
for about four years- what good after all was a power where you sheded your skin after
all."
"What good is it now?" Jubilee mutters.
"Four years?" Monet raises an eyebrow. Apparently now everyone in the group has had a
kept a secret at least once in their lives.
Paige continues, "Well I told one person. My stuffed Bear-rabbit-dog-thing. FWWP the
Third."
"What?" Monet asks, for once confused.
"Fluppy William Wallace Picklebottom, that stuffed THING that so resides on her bed and
that Franklin and crew made a X-men uniform for." Jubilee fills Monet in.
"Oh... That. Thing." Monet mutters. She is about to add that the stuffed animal has more
of a fan following than most television shows, but she thinks better of it. She detests the
small brown bean stuffed antique.
"Anyway. So yes. I told my bear, and that was it." Paige continues.
"Let me guess, a fairy came down and granted life to said stuffed monstrosity and-"
"Not quite. That's a different story. You see little did I know that as I sat there in the
cave hiding from reality and telling my story to Fluppy. There was a young gentleman
watching me and he heard the whole thing."
"Humm they start the peeping young o' down dare don't they?" Jubilee snickers.
Paige ignores the younger girl and continues "Well of course this was a problem. A very big
problem. But what should I do but lie. I told the boy, who was one of my classmates, that
I was just joking and I really wasn't a mutant. I was just pretending. Almost as
embarrassing for a girl in highschool to admit too. He. Of course didn't believe me. I tried
to prove that I wasn't a mutant. To keep my secret just that. A secret. So I-"
"I'm sorry Paige. Not to again interject but.." Monet starts.
"What the Bo-givies does this have to do with Christmas?" Jubilee finishes.
Paige glares at Jubilee, "Fine. Here. Here's the story. Once upon the time there was a girl
named Jubilee. She loved Thin Mint Cookies more than anything thing else. Girlscout Thin
Mints at that. She'd do ANYTHING for one of the delightful wafers in the green box.
Anything. So one day the Dark Elf came. They called him Satan's Little Helper-For Santa is
really Satan spelled"
"GUTHRIE!" Jubilee screams out, "could you for ONCE write a story that doesn't concern
intense evil?"
"Sure.. Umm okay..." Paige starts.. then looks as if her mind is someplace else... "I think I'll
need a gallon of Mountain Dew-"
"Surge."
Paige shakes her head, "No. Mountain Dew. I'm a non-conformist. I need Dew and about
ten pixie sticks."
Jonothon walks into the room . "Paige I need yer 'elp with fixing my TV."
Paige seems more than happy to leave the room.
"Ten bucks says he wants her to turn to metal and stand on his TV for better reception."
Jubilee says dryly to Monet as she watches the two leave the room.
"That must be the most clich� way to get out of telling a story I've seen in a while."
Monet amends.
Sooner than later in the boy's dorm Paige is examining Jonothon's television for him. Trying
her hardest not to let her emotions for him interfere with her impression of togetherness.
But she can't help it. Something about the older boy makes her just want to hold him and
never let him go. To attempt to take away his pain and be there for him. That and she's
always secretly had a thing for guys she'd know her momma would die over and that her
dearly departed dad would shoot on site.
"Umm Jono. Everything seems fine, your cable wire just came unattached from the wall."
Paige mutters, to break the silence as she tries her hardest to lean across the small table
and cram her hand into the small open spot to reach the wire and reattach it to the jack.
Angelo would have been the person to do this task, he could reach the wire without
having to be in such an uncomfortable position. Paige wonders secretly if Jonothon realizes
it's not as easy for a woman to lay flat on her stomach than it is a guy. He's seen Scream
way too many times. He must know from the one scene where the big bosomed girl tries to
fit through the doggie door that certain.. things... get in the way.
"I knew that. I'm not stupid." Jonothon says.
Paige snaps her head up at that and smacks it into the shelf right above her head. Too
much of a tight fit. A claustrophobic's nightmare. "What?" Paige asks. Any last trace of
embarrassment gone. Did he just read her thoughts?
"I 'ad a feeling that it was that." Jonothon adds, "I just wanted t' talk with yer alone. If
that's okay with you."
Paige manages to snag the wire, thankful that at least Jonothon can't see her face.
Apparently he has no problem talking to her backside as she's crammed into such a small
spot "What about?" she asks. Not trying to seem to interested. Play it cool, never let him
know you feel. He probably finds you to be "that annoying blond".
"Well th' holiday fer starters. Wot makes yer so supportive of it."
"Who says I'm supportive of it?" Paige asks as she very slowly attempts to plug the cable
connector back into the jack.
"I saw the way yer acted when I said I didn't like this time o' year." Jonothon adds.
"You don't know the half of it." Paige mutters under her breath. Then in a audible voice,
"It's just that the world shouldn't be a place of gloom all the time. The holidays are for ..."
"Fer family? I got none? For loved ones? I ain't got none o' those either." Jonothon says.
Paige can hear the sound of the leather crunching as he sinks down into a seat.
"You couldn't be more wrong." Paige adds as she plugs in the plug and slowly tries to climb
out from the tight fitting wedge.
If she was free from the confined space she would see the flash of hope in Jonothon's
normally dark eyes. "Wot do yer mean."
Paige pulls her hair back behind her shoulders and turns to Jonothon. "You have a family.
We're your family. Besides Christmas, or any other holiday isn't about gifts or really even
having to be with family. It's a chance for you to be thankful."
Jonothon stands up and looks down at the girl. She's only slightly shorter than he is so
he's practically looking directly into her big blue eyes. "Wot do I 'ave to be thankful for gel.
I don't even breath anymore."
"Well ya'll don't have to eat Emma's cookies." Paige says very nervously, the last time her
and Jonothon got this close.. she feels the blood heat up and rise in her cheeks. She's not
a little girl, but why does this keep happening. She's dated before, it must because he's
something she knows he can never have.
"I'd like t' have a mouth. Don't think for a second I wouldn't give anything just t' be a
normal boy. Be able t' walk out in public wit' someone special. Hold 'er close without 'aving
to worry about killin' 'er."
Paige feels her hands start to shake. So she simply puts her hands behind her back. "Well..
just because you can't do that doesn't mean you aren't alone."
"But I am alone." Jonothon says as he starts to turn away.
Suddenly it's as if all the frustration of Finals Week and all else piled on top of that causes
it. Paige snaps and grabs Jonothon by the arm and turns him around. She reaches over
and kisses him ever so gently on his ear. She smiles slowly as she exhales, she was aiming
to kiss him on the cheek. "You aren't alone." she whispers as she pulls away.
"Wot?" Jonothon asks. Now his hands are shaking. He wants more than anything else to do
something back to her. But what could he do?
"You were standing under mistletoe." Paige says then quickly she leaves the room.
Realizing her mistake and quickly trying to patch it. "Ah gotta go." she says and quickly
bounds out the door as if the room was on fire.
Jonothon puts his hands in his pockets and slowly sits down. He looks around the room
slowly. He never put any mistletoe in the room.