Chapter 3
Katana takes out her tape player, puts on Mission: Impossible soundtrack.
Q: Set it to loop! Loop!
Kat : Well DUH !!!
Dark : Your ruining the mood !!!!
Q : Well SORRY !! I didn't mean to break your concentration, Oh Dark One!
All:( Look at Q Shocked)
Kat: Whoa! That time of the month!
Dark: (Gulp!)
All : crouch down and slink towards the Gymnasium.
Neo : I feel so,..... so,..... so naughty !
Rio : Don't wanna know !
Lug-lug : I do !!
Tora : BLOOD !!
Kat : (bashes Lug-lug's head into the wall) Hey! No drooling !
Yama : (pops up) Hey! You guys were right !! He was almost four whole minutes !!
Rio : ew.
Q : Go away,.... NOW!!!
Yama : (leans down by Lug-lug's prone body) Hey! Wake up! I bet you could beat four minutes!
Neo : (Backhands Yama down hallway) Back off!!! He's Katana's Bitch !!!
Kat : HEY !!!!! Leave me out of your inane fantasies !!
Keldra : come on !! Admit it !!
Q : We all know you guys have some bizzare S&M thing going on !!!
Dark : S&M ?!?!? ! neat.
Tora : Blood !
Neo : only sometimes,.....
Rio : Sex !!
Kat : Do I have a say in this ??
Q : No !!
Lug-lug : What about me ?
Q : HELL no!
Yama : What about me ??
Keldra : (laughs) I don't think so !
Yama : oh,...... SEX !!!
Q : Dontcha guys think we're making a TAD too much noise for people supposedly sneaking up on someone !?!?!?!??!
Keldra : oops ?
Yama : (turns to Lug-lug) I wanna boink ya like an animal !!!
All : Look at Yama
Kat : MINE !!
All : look at Katana
Kat : uh,...... I mean,.... well,....... CRAP !!
Yama : ( to Lug-lug) Well ? Do ya wanna ??
Kat : (punts Yama back down hall) NO!! He's my bitch!! (looks to Q) Gee,... that WAS fun! No wonder you keep saying it !
Q : (smirk)
Dark : SSSSHHHHHHUUUUT UP !!!!!!!!!!!!!
All : Silence
Neo : Gee,... he's kinda grumpy !
Rio : well,... what do ya expect ?
Neo : Oh Yeah !
Kat : (laughing) No more nookie for Mr. Darky-warky !!!!!!
All : (laugh)
Dark : (pales,... then flushes) WHAT ?!?!?!?! (Punts Katana, Rio, and Neo Down Hall)
Keldra : This is turning out to be an,..... interesting covert mission !
Dark : (shakes head) I noticed,..... (sigh)
Katana, Rio, and Neo catch up to group as they continue to slink down the hall.
Q : Um,... shouldn't we take out the friggin' cameras and motion sensors ?
Keldra : (sarcastically) Well, maybe he WANTS the authorities to know who killed Fink !
Dark : um,...no, no! I've thought ALL about this ! (nervous laugh)
Keldra : Suuuuuuuure ya did ! (takes out a semi-automatic and shoots out all the sensors and video cameras)
Rio : cool.
Q : wait,.... one problem. Technically they still have this all on tape.
Keldra : well, we just have to destroy them then, don't we ?
Neo : cool.
Rio : I'll do it !! Come on Neo !
Rio and Neo leave to destroy the film.
Tora : Blood ??
Kat : Tora's right!!
Tora : I am ??
Kat : we need to get on with the killing !! It's already ten o' five !!!
Q : (looks at watch) cool,.............
Tora, Darkness, Katana, Keldra, Q, Lug-lug, and Yama continue down Hallway.
Q : Katana,................
Kat : yes ?
Q : could you do me a teeney-weenie favour ?
Kat : Sure! What ?
Q : TURN THAT DAMN TAPE PLAYER OFF !!!!!!!! NOW !!!!!!!!!
Kat : _your_ the one who wanted it on loop!
Q : Well,..... it's pissing me off!!!! STOP IT !!!!!!
Kat : (turns off tape player, & puts it away) fine,.......... be like that!
Dark : Can we get on with this ??
Kat : Right,........ this is my part!
Katana leaves the group standing in the hall, as she re-enters the Gym.
Katana walks up to Mr. Fink.
Kat : Hi !
Mr. Fink : Hi,..... (turns away, distractedly) What the ??? (turn back) You can't be here !! Your in detention!!!
Kat : Kiss my ass Ferret face !!!
Mr, Fink (face reddens) WHAT !?!??!
Kat : I said you are a carrier for the Bubonic Plague !! RODENT !!! (Runs out of Gym, down the hall)
Mr. Fink : (chases Katana down hall) MISCREANT !!!!!! GET BACK HERE !!!!!!!!
Kat : (Ducks behind Lug-lug) Hi shield!
Dark : (grabs Mr. Fink and holds him as Q Ties him up)
Q: We make a great team!
Dark: uh...sure.
Rio and Neo come back
Neo : Hey !
Everybody sneaks out the back door. And goes to some dark, creepy place.
~~~~~~ Dark, Creepy place~~~~~~~~~
Tora : Why do we have to do this at my house ?
Rio : you're the only one who's parents aren't home !
Neo : Ya !And your parents probably wouldn't notice if you leave the place all bloody,... you always do !
Tora : (thoughtfully) I guess your right,..........
Mr. Fink : You are all in SOOOOO much trouble right now !!!!!
Kat : Can we PLEASE find a gag, or rip out his tongue or SOMETHING ?!?!?!
Mr. Fink : eep.
Q : Lets terrorize him !! TERRORIZE !!!!!!!!
Tora : MAXIMIZE !!!!!!!!!
Keldra : (looks at Tora) what ?
Tora : It seemed like a good idea at the time !
Kat : (sigh) (whips out tape player, and turns on the Beasties theme)
Keldra : Your encouraging her !!!
Kat : yes.......... So ?
Keldra : (sigh) nothing.......
Rio : (turns tape player off)
Small Imp : (laughs, and turns it back on)
Rio : (turns it off)
Imp : (turns it on)
Rio : (repeats her previous action)
Imp : (ditto)
Rio : (OFF!)
Imp : (ON!)
Kat : (backhands them both down the hall) Leave that alone !! Only I get to play with it!!!
Yama : (slinks over to Lug-lug) Hey !
Kat : (backhands Yama down hall) Leave that alone !! Only I get to play with it !!!!!
Q : (shivers with disgust) You wanna STOP saying that ?!?!??!
Kat/Yama : no.
Q : Just asking.
Dark : Hello ????
Neo : Hi !
Q : *Sigh* (Growls in frustration) Shut up and think about punishment!
Neo: Whips and chains!!!
Rio: Naughty!
Neo: Kinky!!
Keldra : (Burries head in hands) Wrong kind of punishment,...
Kat: That depends.
Keldra: *sigh* Shut up.
After a moment of silence....
Neo: Sex, drugs, rock&roll...
Neo/Kat: Weed, speed, birth control...
Neo/Kat/Rio: Life's a bitch and then you die...
Neo/Kat/Rio/Q: So fuck this world let's all get high!!!
Darkness, Tora, Keldra, Fink and all the imps look on in confusion.
Dark: After all I've heard the past 3 days, that shouldn't worry me....But for some reason...it does.
Keldra: Same.
Tora: *snort*
Fink: Mmmphhh....mmm...mhhhmmm....
Tora: That was a weak Kenny impression!
All look at Tora.
Rio: I think the stress of losing Totoro did something to her.
Neo: Yeah...but what?
Q is looking thoughtfully at Fink.
Q: Hey, guys? Have any of you ever seen "Boys on the side" With Drew Berrymore?
Dark:* puts head in hand and groans* Oh, no....please...no....I know where this is gonna go...and I am frightened....
Apparently, Fink also knew where this was going, he calmed down and looked at Q, then Kat.
Q: EEEEeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww....!!! Hentai no Mara!!!!
Neo:(Completely missing the joke) Ever see Showgirls?
All look at Neo *Cower in fear.*
Dark: I have!
Q: Me too!!
All:* look at Q*
Dark: Why am I not surprised
Q: Can people really bend that way?
Dark:*shrug*
Q shudders.
Kat: Species II!!
Q: Porn with a plot!!
Kat: SORTA!!
Q: Jackie's condition in reverse!
Kat: YES!!
Keldra: Bram Stoker's DRACULA!! The book!
Neo: The flick!
Kat: Lucy does a werewolf!
Rio: How did we get onto this topic?
Neo: Q.
Q: Hey! It was Neo's misinterpretation!
Rio: I know God!
Keldra: Enough.
Q: I'll be right back!
Q leaves.
Dark: Shit! Now I'm left alone with .....them....
Kat: Thank you so much with that compliment!
Neo: Jerk!
Q returns
Neo: Where'd you go?
Q: Got my discman.
Neo: What are you listening too?
Q: *Smirk* Guess.
Neo: Robin!
Rio: Marilyn Manson!
Kat: Spice Girls!
Keldra: *rolls eyes* Weird Al.
Q flashes a kookie grin.
Dark: Ooooookaaayyy....*shrug*
Q sings along to "Everything you know is Wrong"
Kat joins in
Keldra joins in, but quietly. She thinks no one notices.
Lug-lug: *sigh* let's go back to the dance.
Neo: What?
Rio: Why?
Q: To further the plot.
Keldra: Ah! Of course!
Kat: Duh!
All go back to school.
~~~~~~~~10 minuets later, in Tora's basement.~~~~~~
Mr. Fink: mmmppph.....? MMMMM!! Hmph...
~~~~~~~At the Dance(Again)~~~~~~~~~~
Jackie(Not the Darkness! WHAT? Y'think he WANTS to draw attention to himself?!?! Idiot! BAKA NANIO!!) stops at the "Bar"
Jackie: *To Mr. Colombo* Milk.
Mr.C: Milk?*suspiciously* You don't go to this school, do you?
Q: Did he figure that one out from the Armani suit or the Versachi shoes?
Kat: Nah..It was the silk tie.
Keldra: The Gold cufflinks.
Tora: Y'think Jackie uses Head& Shoulders?
All: Look at Tora
Tora: What?
Q: Sure, I could just see it... When I'm not bumping off rival mafia members, or fighting two groups of mystical badasses, I like my hair to remain without flakes! That's why I use Head & Shoulders....Geez, Tora!
Tora: It was just a question!
Jackie walks up, with his milk.
Jackie: What did you say now Q?
Q:*startled. Turns* Oh! Nothing...*Cough*
Kat: Tora asked if you used Head& Shoulders. And Q made fun of her.
Jackie: Why? It's true.
Q: Who asked you?!
Jackie:*Waves in Kat's general direction* She did.
Q: *growl* Shut up.
Jackie, Tora& Kat watch Q stalk into the Gym.
Jackie: Whoa....Everything you know is wrong! (Quietly)Black is white, up is down and short is...DAMMIT Q!!! You GOT THAT FUCKIN' SONG IN MY HEAD!!!
All: enter Gym.
Q: Serves you right!
The final song of the night is Stairway to Heaven. The DJ Spews some jargon about making this song beautiful. Lady's choice....
Kat: (Walks up to Lug-lug) Wanna Dance?
Lug-lug:(A Little too eager) OKAY!!!!!
Kat: I wonder where Q & Jackie are?
Kat spies Neo, Rio, Keldra, Tora and Q sit on the sidelines, talking. Jackie...
Jackie: Uh...no sorry....I can't dance...
TW1: Please?
TW2: He's mine, bitch!
TW3: NO! He's mine!
Keldra: The collective has turned on itself.
Neo: Yep.
Jackie escapes from the mob, his skin crawling. Jackie joins our heros. All of the trendy whores whine and make little insults, to which Q replies with:
Q: Go have a 3rd child, ladies.
TW1: Bitch!
Q: Oral-don't-count-as-losing-it, slut !
TW2: Scrub!
Q: *BELCH!!!!*It appears that You have seen through my facade and that of my friends.
Jackie: You'd better leave, You don't wanna make her mad. I'd hate to see you have to pay another $10,0000 for another new nose.
TW3: Why are you hanging out with these welfare check cashing losers?
Jackie: uh...
Neo: Yeah, Jackie? Why do you hand around with us?*Smirk*
Jackie:(sounds like he's in a coffee commercial) Because I've know these kids since they were young. Then I moved to Manhattan and lost contact with them. Now I've found them again, *Gives Keldra a big hug* And I'm never letting go!
Rio: ......Yeah!
Jackie: ("Spills" milk on a TW) oops....sorry.
TW: You...You...
Q: Relax... If anyone asks....you could say its cum.
Neo: *Laughs uncontrollably*
TW1: EEEEEWWWWW!!! Let's go ladies!
The "Ladies" foof up there hair and leave with a shrill "Humph!"
Neo: Kewl!
Jackie: Yeah....
Q: Thanks! Who says TV ain't educational?
Neo: Uh...Tora? I have to go to the bathroom, come with me.
Tora: No. I wanna stay here.
Neo: NOW! *Motions toward Jackie & Q*
Tora: huh?..OOOOOOOooooooooohhhhhhh....ok.
Neo: *groan*
They leave.
Q: _That_......................................................Was awkward.
Jackie: Yep. I'm surprised you didn't ask me to dance.
Q:*blush* Yeah, well....I don't dance ....to slow songs...I mean...
Jackie: Ah.
Q: Specially this song.
Jackie: Why? Lose your virginity while this song was playing?*laughes*
Q: *forced laughter* *Ahem*How to word this?.... A-ha! .....GAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jackie: Holy FUCK!!
Keldra& Rio: *Runs to Lug-lug &Katana* Q is going down On The Darkness!!!!
~~NOTE~~ See how rumours can start?
Lug-lug&Kat: WHAT!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?????
Keldra: In ways you won't believe!
All run to where a big crowd has gathered
They see Q strangling The Darkness.(Yes, He's the Darkness now!)
Q: DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!!!!!!!!!
Dark: Ack!
Q: *stops. Scrambles off of the Darkness.*WHOA!!!!!*pant...pant Stars at Darkness in wide eyed wonder* That really is A big bulge!!!
Silence
Then everyone in the whole Gym hears Kat's squeaky laugh.
Q: *Blush. Get up and runs to washroom.*
Her friends follow.
~~~~~~~~~In Girl's room.~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kat: I can't believe you did that, Q!
Keldra: This night's just full of surprises.
Tora: There out of soap!
Neo: What else is new?
Q:*Vandalizing the condom machine* Offer void in Cambodia...
Neo: *Sniff...sniff* You smell that?
Keldra: Yeah...It smells like....like...
Kat: Oh....God!
Enter (Cue evil music) Shanell!
Shanell: Hi girls....
Rio: Bitch Queen....*Grrr*
Shanell: What are you doing in MY bathroom?!
Q: Oh, I'm sorry, Did you want to give into your eating disorder in peace?
Neo: Cause we ain't gonna let you.
Kat: Is that milk on your dress?
Shanell: Q? Why were you going to kill that gentleman in the gym? Was he making fun of you ...like everyone else does?
Kat: No, Shanell. He said you were....um...how do I put this?....a hag, and Q wanted to know if a lack of oxygen to his brain would make him see that you were, in actuality, a vomitous sludge!!
Shanell:*scowls* Why is that guy in the suit hanging with you guys anyway?
Q: Same way that guys get you, Shanell. We payed him, But not for that....for other-...
Kat: More intense....
Keldra: Things that only...
Neo: diseased minds like ours could come up with.
Shanell: You heard that a couple of students tried to assassinate a teacher right?
Neo: Uh....
All: No.
Shanell: Have any of you seen the VP? Oh, of course, you wouldn't know where he was, Would you?
Shanell leaves.
Neo: That was creepy.
Kat: She knows.
Keldra: (Sarcastically) Y'think!?
Tora: Shit!
Q: So what? She knows! BFD! All we have to do....
Keldra:....is silence her....
~~~~~~TO BE CONTINUED~~~~~~~~