Signs That You Are Too Drunk :

You lose arguments with inatimate objects.

You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.

Your job seems to be interfering with your drinking.

Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.

You have this funny sensation that your career won't progress beyond a Senator from Massachusetts.

You have an indentation on the back of your head from the toilet seat.

You sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.

24 hours a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence? - I think not!!!

Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT's a drinking problem!

You can focus better with one eye closed.

The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.

You manage to fall off the floor.

You named your twin sons Barley and Hops.

Hey! 5 beers have just as many calories as a burger!!..... Screw dinner!!

Mosquitoes pass out after attacking you.

At AA meetings you begin with: "Hi, my name is..... umm.... uhhh..."

You wake up in the bedroom. Your underwear is in the bathroom. You fell asleep clothed...... - hmmm..

You have your own designated toilet bowl at the bar you frequent..

Every night, you're beginning to find your roomate's cat more and more attractive.

Roseanne looks good.

Senators Packwood and Kennedy just shake their heads when you walk past them.

I'm as jober as a sudge! I'm not as think as you drunk I am... ohfine... take me drunk, I'm home...

---

Back
Home