M&M Duels

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I picked this up from a friend of mine and thought I'd pass it along....

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Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks or splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets set aside and then I hold semi-finals and finally it comes down to two of the strongest, ultimately producing the winner.

I have found that, in general, brown and red M&M's are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&M's as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally, I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointer, or flatter, than the rest. Almost invariably, this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions, it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to it's ever changing environment.

Once I have finished the elimination, and a winner emerges, I am left with one M&M; the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in a protective envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote abck to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bd of plain M&Ms. I consider this grant "money." I have set aside this weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the "True Champion."

There can be only one....

( m ) ( m ) ( m ) ( m ) ( m ) ( m ) ( m ) ( m ) ( m ) ( m ) ( m ) ( m ) ( m ) ( m )

Cheryl J Machovec