To The Abyss and Back

As I stand here, my heart in my hand,

Frozen, hopeless, in a river of sand,

My friends try and grab my swifly moving fist,

In an effort to stop me carving my wrist.

I wish they would all just give it a rest,

For, in my eyes, they never felt such distress.

I close my eyes, and wish them success,

And try to tell them that this is for the best.

Before I cut, I swear that I hear,

The voice of one I hold dear.

She begs for me that I should refrain,

That this would cause her too much pain.

These words echo on and on in my head,

Causing in me serious regret and dread.

I open my eyes and drop the knife,

Realizing my angel's love just saved my life.

I drop to my kness and cry in distress,

Whilst my sisters pray I never again regress.

My friends, who care so much for me,

Give out a sigh and decide to let me be.

As they leave and walk over the hill,

My sisters, still upset, begin to grill.

'Adam,' speaks Cathy, 'What were you thinking?

Don't tell me you started drinking...'

I shake my head and look to her face,

And chirp, 'If I had, I wouldn't have made it to this place.'

Katoya, still irate from the action,

Sighs, turns away, and says 'I'm gonna be packin'.'

Again, I look to her face,

And apologize deeply for my disgrace.

'If I hurt one of my angels,' I begin to cry,

Not even then would I have a reason to die.

I would bear the pain in my soul,

And that pain I would never let go.

Though at times my life feels like a curse,

Letting go like that just makes things worse.'

Seeing that I have changed, they give me some slack,

My sisters hug me, and I hug tighter back.

Not many would like to claim to do what I have done,

To have engaged in a staring contest with death, and won.

I came in the world kicking, and avoided leaving it by slash or hack,

I had just journeyed where few dared, I went to the Abyss and back.

(And honestly, I never want to venture there again,

For it causes suffering and pain,

to those that you care for most,

and honsetly, I would be useless as a ghost.)