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OF A SLAVE'S LOSS
She cried rivers of tears that day. Cried as if her world had ended...and it did. The pain inside her chest was overwhelming, consuming her soul and ripping her heart. The emptiness she had before she met Him paled in comparision to the ragged knife - like pain she now was forced to bear. It had multiplied in that instant, that one instant her world had come crashing down. Her dreams were squashed, her desires burned as He tossed her aside with a careless guesture. Though His leaving enlightened her as to the fact he had fooled her...fooled her into believing He was a true Master, she could receive no comfort from this knowledge. She felt pain no whip could ever give. Beaten she was, with no visible markings on her silky smooth body. Nay...the scars will never be seen by anyone. "A joke" he said. She was never anything but a play toy He merely wanted to control. No love, no depth of emotion. Yet she had surrendered her life to Him, believed Him, trusted Him....LOVED, OBEYED, HONORED and was LOYAL to HIM. "I can't handle this" she cried out as new tears came more freely. She looked up to the heavens and screamed "WHY?". "Why did He have to trick me into believing Him?" I was so good to Him...I obeyed his every whim" "God i just want this damn pain to END!" Oh how this little creature hurt. Her black passion, raw and real... her desires, needs... All shattered with a hateful touch, a burning touch, the mocking, laughing glance and a hardness she had never seen in Him before. She had begged on bended knees, had worshiped his feet with pride. She had begged for forgiveness for something she was not even sure of. She knew she had done no wrong but would have taken ANY punishment rather than hear her Master's laughing voice. She cried and pleaded, begged she needed Him. She knew all that was her existance would die without Him. She clung desperately to Him but He merely laughed and kicked her aside. She had cured up in a ball then as she saw His retreating form going to pack. "I am nothing without Him" I will die without His guidance" "Master... PLEASE!!!!!!!" she screamed after Him, but He kept walking. His apparent cruelity, lack of respect and love overwhelmed her and she cried harder, like a baby yerning for their mother. Her senses reeled, she grew dizzy and couldn't face what was about to happen. She crawled herself tighter into a ball, trying to block out reality, but to no avail. He had thrown her aside with his icy, hate filled stare, one blantant glare. She winced and moaned through her tears. She heard Him re enter the room and looked up at Him with pleading eyes. She was met with a blazing, contempt stare. She knew He would go, yet she had to try again. She begged Him again and again and He just laughed at her attempts. She bowed her head in shame and defeat... it was then His words began to sink in and she realised this was always a game to Him. He had expertly felt out her dreams and desires, He had toyed with her emotions. And now He had completed what He had set out to do. He knew she hurt, knew what He had done and He felt powerful...like a god. He had broken her spirit and now she was no longer useful to Him. by Linda Festa |