May/4/2000
Will it seem that are thing are going to be hard. On myself for my own self respect has come in to question. And another cares for me. In a way that I wish no one to. I have never ask for help in facing my daemons down but it seem I may need help after all. But who should I turn to for this help I do not know.
Every morning I wake up with a rage not my own, or is it. I have no way of controlling it, but to make myself dead inside. And every morning I wake and it feels as if my soul is at war with it self. And, Also wake hoping that this day is the last on this earth.
April/17/2000/
The old warriors live on in new life. But some remember the deeds they did. Others remember their own horrors and fight of days past as while. Yet still other use this knowledge to help others they know. So now the question is what should one do with this knowledge. There is only one answer for that is help others and forget yourself for awhile, But always look for others who are doing the same as you are.
April/10/2000
One thing. In my life, That I should only be happy when thing are hard and weird. Every day I my soul dies a little more because of what know. And I like to help this person but they won?t let me in to help out. So now a await for the doors of the fortress to open and let me in. One waiting game that I will win sooner or later.
March/31/2000
Will it seem. To me that days are growing short as my school days come to a close. But thing about is I don?t care about it one bit it like a business deal gone bad and coming to a end. I can count on one hand how many people from my class I wish to see after it all said and done with. It feel like I?m coming out of a war that I have left all who opposed me dead on the battle field of high school and my allies better off than when they started. But all in all I had fun knowing that I did something that most people thought I never finish. I still have on regrets at all funny I thought I would look like I was wrong about that at least.
March/29/2000
Ah life is strange to say at best teaching you thing you should know and do. But something it has way of changing your life for the better or worse. But I will survive. And the daemons in my mind see my own power growing from with in and the will of iron. And seek to destroy it not this time I?ll let them be here as a reminder for myself and to help other but I still may loose to these force. How I see the way and can only take them down when they arise. But I have new thing to live for in my life so I shall. Ashes to ashes dust to dust.
Feb/8/2000
Ah much has happen last i wrote. the deamon with in are still here and
almost broke thought the part of my soul darkest in nature. But i still
hold sway over them all and learn from them.how to face them is hard but i
have at least some help so now lets see what happen this mounth
Jan/25/2000
Every one has deamons my have been released from their prison. I can
control them now but in the end until u face these daemons u only have
half a person, and I go to face mine. And I do so with a heavy heart and,
My soul is
as dark as ever now, Light shall not rain here until I face down all
daemons. Let the Shadows rise once more and let me face all them down and
win.
Jan/24/2000
The one thing in life u can count on being illogical is the your own heart
no matter how logical u think your being. The heart will always find a way
to throw a wench in the work very fun for u at first, but then your
logical mind will say "this doesn't add up", and your right it does not
add up. But it does feel so right u can't ignore it. So when your heart
finally over whelm your logical mind remember your heart knows what good
for u so enjoy the ride because your not in control and it hurts to think
of what might happen when it ends. So it is better to have love and lost
than to never have loved before.
Remember your heart is the one thing that make u human with out that man
is truly lost and become a killing machine.
Jan/13/2000
will the other day i look at my hands and in that second i realize
i hold more future in my hands than any one i know and the thing about
it is i never ask to have this much power over people. This bothers me more
than i care to admit. But it show that some people trust me with their
life ,ust say something what i do know but i'll tell u one thing i would
give my life to save any one i know becuase my life is nothing compared
to ohters life
But life is alway # one so let have no fear any more i don't.
Jan/10/2000
Will the other day someone said "i should kill myself"
ask yourself"Why" What purpose would that serve. Think of this for
awhile.
Have you thought this over. It has no honor, effect all who are around
and that is lose of a life. But it alway up to the person who does
the final act or jugdment. Freewill is all it comes down to.
Till next time farewell and good luck
and, Remember life is a advneture live it to the fullest.
No regrets