The SLAP HEAD Game
Equipment Required
-
One Armchair
-
One long stick with a pointy bit at the end
-
One television set
-
One half-written PhD thesis for each player
-
Plenty of time and better things to do
Object of the Game
-
To waste as much time in the least productive manner
possible.
Setting Up the Equipment
The Armchair and the Television Set should be placed
such that, when seated in the Armchair, the Player can caress the screen
of the Television Set with the Pointy Bit at the end of the Long Stick.
Playing the Game
It is recommended that the game is played either
during the morning (Kilroy, Richard & Judy etc.) or in the middle of
the night (American Gladiators, Get Stuffed!, Prisoner Cell Block H, etc.).
Sitting in the Armchair, with the Pointy Bit of the Long Stick the player
must point to things on the television screen and describe them out loud
to the other Player - without hesitation or repetition. When a folically
challenged person appears on the screen the player must point to his forehead
and shout SLAPHEAD as loud as he
can (the louder the better, especially if played in the middle of the night).
One point is awarded for each verified SLAPHEAD
shouted. Merely ‘thinning on top’ doesn’t count. Outrageously obviously
wigs may be counted as SLAPHEADS.
Due to their rarity extra points may be awarded for folically challenged
women.
The Player looses his turn if he fails to spot
a SLAPHEAD which is spotted by
the other Player, repeats words or pauses too long, or collapses in a fit
of laughter.
How to Win the Game
There are no winners in this game. The session ends
when one or other of the players has a flash of inspiration and retires
to his room to add a few Pearls of Wisdom to the Half-Written Thesis. The
Session resumes when the absent player realises that the Pearls of Wisdom
are in fact just further examples of the Seriously Moronic Claptrap that
the rest of the thesis is composed of, and returns to the game.
As you can hear a full length Slap
Head game may start off calmly enough
but it can quickly degenerate. Some
like to call this entertainment
though on the wages these boys
were getting that hardly seems very fair
Text mostly by Isaak
Design mostly by FisHeaD
Do you really want to go back to CamberHell
?
