Disclaimer:  Fox Mulder, Dana Scully, the X-Files, and associated
characters are property of David Duchovny, Gillian Anderson, Chris Carter,
Ten-Thirteen Productions and Fox Broadcasting Corporation.  They are used
without permission but no copyright infringement is meant.  I just wanted 
to borrow the characters for a while.

The song I borrowed from the Beatles.  No infringement meant.

Any elements not recognized as being taken from the television 
show copyright Christina Shuy.  Usually not much... if anything.

Comments and other things are much apprieciated and can be sent to 
cshuy@netcom.com.  I like email, so please reply! I'll do what I can 
about responding to any replies.

Rating: G
Category: H, V
Summary: the onhold music strikes again, only this time gets Scully
Spoilers: nada
Reply to Deb's April Fools Day challenge.   

This is in the same vein as "The Fool on the Hill" but takes place after.

The Beatles Files:  "Nowhere Man"
by Christina Shuy
cshuy@netcom.com

April 1

     After much determination, the decision was made.  Scully picked up
the phone and dialled. 
     "Director Freeh's office."
     "This is Special Agent Dana Scully.  I would like to speak with the 
Director please."
     "One moment."
     There was a soft 'click' at the other end and then a song started.

  "He's a real nowhere Man,
   Sitting in his Nowhere Land,
   Making all his nowhere plans
   for nobody."

     Dana widened her eyes, part of her wanting to laugh and another part 
wondering if she would be able to keep her composure and be able to speak 
to the Director of the FBI professionally.
   
  "Doesn't have a point of view,
   Knows not where he's going to,
   Isn't he a bit like you and me?
   Nowhere Man, please listen,
   You don't know what you're missing,
   Nowhere Man, the world is at your command."

     Scully noticed Mulder watching her carefully.  It had been her idea 
to call the FBI Director to check on the status of something.  But she 
looked like she was having a difficult time with something.
     "Scully?  You ok?"
     Scully waved him off, looking slightly strangled.
   
  "He's as blind as he can be,
   Just sees what he wants to see,
   Nowhere Man can you see me at all?
   Doesn't have a point of view,
   Knows not where he's going to,
   Isn't he a bit like you and me?
   Nowhere Man, don't worry,
   Take your time, don't hurry,
   Leave it all till somebody else
   lend you a hand."

     Her composure was breaking up rapidly.  If she didn't hang up soon, 
she risked looking more than a little foolish.
   
  "He's a real Nowhere Man,
   Sitting in his Nowhere Land,
   Making all his nowhere plans
   for nobody."

     Right as the song ended, the line clicked again.
     "Agent Scully, the Director is in a meeting right now.  Would you 
like to leave a message?"
     "No... I.. ah... I'll call later."
     Quickly, she replaced the reciever back on the cradle and then 
laughed until her sides ached.
     "Mind sharing the joke, Scully?" Mulder looked at her with an 
inquisitive grin.
     "Remember what happened to you before with Senator Matheson and that 
on-hold music?  Director Freeh seems to have the Beatles "Nowhere Man" on 
his 'on-hold' system."  She managed to say.
     Mulder laughed.  Scully laughed more.
     "Come on... it's lunch time.  We need some air.  My treat."
     "Cool!"
     As they left the office, both were still laughing.

-the end-