junk eMails: the fightback starts here

As a hotmail account owner and internet junky I regularly receive junk eMails. I usually accept this quietly, but suddenly I thought: no, fuck it, and decided to fight back. A few of my replies are included.

I invite readers to join me in this crusade, and send copies to me at [email protected]: there will be a prize for the most swearing used, and you will get your letter on the site.


To: [email protected]

Subject: STOP SENDING ME JUNK MAIL, I DO NOT EVEN LIVE IN THE US

So please leave me alone, you brash Americans, with your brash American "Great business opportunities" earning me millions a minute, or whatever bullshit you claim

GO AWAY!!!

Yours Faithfully,

Tobias Flinch


To: [email protected]

Subject: Revolutionary Communism

Dear People,

You write to me asking if I wish to participate in private enterpries, make millions etc.

I would like to point out that I am in fact a member of the Revolutionary Communist Group of Wales, and therefore am not interested in your Petit Bourgeoisie aspirations.

When the revolution comes, you will be first against the wall,

Yours Faithfully,

Comrade Flinch


To:[email protected]

Dear Lorna, or "tokinwilly",

(not that I believe for a minute you are really a woman; it seems highly likely you are in fact a fat sweaty American hick.)

I am writing to reply to your eMail about "free gasoline for ever!!!" You address me as friend: I do not feel, that at this stage in our relationship, where you have sent me a junk eMail, that I wish you to address me as friend.

I also point out that I am a Green Anarchist and so do not use a car or have need of gasoline.

You also claim you never send unsolicited eMails: this is blatant bullshit, as a Green Anarchist would I really have requested eMails from your evil capitalist enterprise?

Die you capitalist scum,

Yours Sincerely,

Tobias Flinch


Rise brothers and sisters, and fight the power,

Tobias

Add to, take the piss out of, or point out the glaringly bullshit in, this article

Home