Cowardice and laziness: the morally right decisions
The following transcript is not real all right, it's JUST A RECONSTRUCTION
Recruiting Officer: World War Three's about to kick off y'know Tobias?
Tobias Flinch: Oh yeah?
RO: Yeah. So we're conscripting you to be in the army, you know, fighting and stuff, for your country.
TF: My country?
RO: Yeah, you know, Great Britain, land of hope and glory.
TF: Oh cool, yeah
RO: You might get killed
TF: Hang on a minute! Killed, look I don't like Blighty that much; if I agree to move to France do I get out of it?
RO: er, no, you must defend your country: it is your sacred duty!
TF: Look, if you don't mind, I'll just stay here, put my feet up, skin up a joint and put some hip hop on the turntable.
RO: No, that's not really an option
TF: Well you can't recruit me anyway
RO: Why not?
TF: I'm gay, a raging queer: I buttfuck for England, you want me to fight for it too?
RO: Oh well, in that case... We can't have homosexuals in the army, very bad for morale, and besides your wrists are far too limp to hold a gun
TF: Yeah that's true actually, just look at the historical precedent: the Greeks, the Romans, never really made it as warriors
RO: Yeah, anyway, bye
TF: Good luck with the recruiting
If everyone was like me there would be no wars, all right?
Peace, Tobias
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