Perki turned from looking at the city under construction and said to me, "You remember when I said that I truly wanted them to truly love me and not just because I'd forced it on them?"

   I nodded.   I guess this where it happened, huh?   But what exactly was it?"

   Perki gave a strange look.   It was a mixture of sorrow and joy.   Clasping her hands in front of her breasts as if she was praying or maybe holding something precious against herself, she pointed to a spot at the base of the mesa.   We went there.   Perki then replied . . .

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   Of course I had come to know and appreciate each and every soul in our new quote-unquote clan, or at least as well as I could get to know any of them, being in the position I had cast myself in.   But Charianna was special to me.   In her I felt a kindred soul.   My special agony was the fact that I could never seem to get closer to her than a sort of partner/special underling relationship.   We were definitely together in building this pueblo.   And she was definitely grateful for my intervention.   I could sense that in her -- even though she never came out and quite said so.   It was just in a gesture, a look, a word that she conveyed how much she appreciated the fact that I had saved the lives of her and her husband and child and that she was grateful for the new life I was giving them all.   She also conveyed by the same look, same word, same gesture that as long as things were this way that she was going to stay with the program.   Her every word, look gesture seemed to say, "How can I do otherwise?   My past is gone, the future is uncertain and this is the only hope for me and my people to get strong enough to do something about it all."

   So why was she resisting getting even closer to me?   It didn't take any travating to figure out that she was afraid.   Afraid that I would turn upon them all in scorn or on a whim and leave them all to die.   And couldn't that be possible?   (At least from her point of view.)   Afterall, I had come into their life that easy, might I not leave just that easy?   Then whether that death came though some viscious turn of nature or whether that death came because the Buhroots found them sooner than expected -- it would not matter.   They would still be as dead.   And that death would come because they were defenseless and in a strange land, a land where they had not yet learned COMPLETELY to cope and because they had put their trust in someone who -- it turned out -- could not be trusted afterall!   I knew that I had no such intentions and was not going to leave in any case and that I was supremely trustworthy, but Charianna did not know that.   Still her fear and the resentment it bred was understandable.   So the questions remained.   How was I to convince them that despite our rocky start back when their village was burning that I truly did care for them?   And how did I defuse their resentment of my position and theirs?   Because I DID want to have Charianna as close to me as I knew she COULD be and to trust me and love me completely!!   My soul LONGED for that more and more each day!   If nothing else if didn't want to be alone!   As things stood, though, I WAS alone -- in a crowd of people!!   Quite simply put I needed and wanted a friend!   A REAL friend!   But I also wanted something else from Charianna.

   The answers to both questions came quite unexpectedly one day -- all wrapped up in one terrible calamity.   It was certainly not a way I would have chosen to bring matters to a head!   Had I wanted to, I suppose, I could have gone forward in Edgar and saw how the future was going to turn out.   But I didn't want to do that for two reasons.   First, because it would be cheating.   And second, because I was supremely confident that I WOULD work it out somehow -- I KNEW I was that smart and gifted.   So when the incident took shape I was glad that I had not cheated: the pain was bad enough to live through once.

   The day began innocently enough.   Construction of the pueblo was going apace.   If all went well the plans called for everyone to move into the pueblo in less than a month.   Since I was not needed that morning, I was in Edgar, communicating with some relatives from back home.   Despite the fact that Edgar's doors were open, I was so caught up in my conversation that I didn't even hear the disturbance, at least right at first.   In fact I might have remained unaware if Charianna hadn't come and shook me.   But, of course she did.   And that's when I heard the screaming.   My first thought was that the invaders had somehow, against all odds, found us, after all.   Charianna's words and odd behavior disabused me of that fear.

   I looked up into her face and saw the shattered look there.   Shaking all over as if she had a chill and obviously fighting her emotions for control, Charianna said, "If you really are an angel and care anything at all for me then I need a miracle.   Can you grant one?   Oh, gods!   You must!   YOU MUST!" she ended in a keening cry.   I thought for a moment that she was going to burst into hysterical tears.   She almost did.   But then as if tears nor hysteria would help, she bit them both back and stared at me with a mixture of hope and despair!

   Obviously, I saw, it was not the Buhroots who were the cause of the commotion.   If that were the case Charianna would have alerted me and then quickly left to do whatever part in the battle she could.   So what could be causing her to act this way?   Without engaging in a lot of useless questions I got right to the heart of the matter.   "Show me!" I said, rising to my feet.   "Fear not!" I had to say that!   I could not stand the look of despair ravaging her face.   And I knew I would help, whatever it might be!

   I thought that Charianna was going to faint with relief.   She actually buckled at the knees for a second or two, sagging against Edgar's doorframe.   Straightening herself resolutely, she turned and left Edgar yelling, over her shoulder, "Follow me!   Please!   Hurry!"

   I wasted not a second.   I sprinted after her, infected by her urgency and desperation.

   As I caught up with her I saw the group of people standing frozen in place near a large slab of clay; a slab intended for the roof of one of the buildings.   The whole group was eerily silent.   The screaming had stopped.   It was towards that group of people and the large clay slab that we were headed.   It seemed to be a construction accident of some sort.   But who was hurt and how badly?   I guessed it was Jevstan.   He would have been working near there, I knew.   And that would explain Charianna's behavior.   I was not real fond of the man, but Charianna thought the world of him, obviously sseeing something in him that I did not.

   When we got close enough to the scene, I saw that indeed it was a construction accident.   A crude wooden crane, built out of one of the few large trees in the area, had snapped under the weight of the large clay slab.   And I also saw that Jevstan wasn't the victim.   He was standing there, frozen in shock, staring at the broken crane as if he couldn't believe what he saw.

   The foreman, a man named Loshi, was repeating over and over, "I'm sorry!   I'm sorry!   I should have known the crane would not bear the weight!"   And he was staring at a pair of feet that were barely protruding from under the slab!

   I ignored him; his apologies were helping nothing!   And it would do no good to ask how the person, whoever it was, had gotten undeneath,   Instead I turned to Charianna.   "Who lies beneath this slab?"

   I felt my insides turn to ice when Charianna answered, "Frika!   She stood there as frozen as Jevstan was after she'd uttered that name; frozen as if she dared not say or do anything to make matters worse, as if to distract me would certainly prove fatal.   However, I was certain it was already fatal.   No one could have survived having a slab that heavy fall on them.   NO ONE!

   Charianna was an uunusual woman.   She was unusually young for a matron of a tribe, being only 27 years old.   But she was unusually strong and wise for one her age.   Will she be strong enough to survive in her position -- or for that matter, survive at all -- if I can not ameliorate this tragedy?   I wondered for a moment.  . But then I shook that off, realizing that I was only caught up in the horror of the moment, the idea that it was worse than I had thought as I had followed her out of Edgar, telling myself that I WOULD help, thinking that it couldn't be THAT bad.   The shock of seeing how bad it was had thrown me for a moment, but of course I could assauge the pain!   I COULD!!   This was not going to remain fatal!!

   At that moment I felt the terrible twinge of irony slam deep within my gut and soul.   Here was my chance to have Charianna get closer to me, to open up to me and to come to a place of perfect love of me and perfect trust in me. &nsp And more! A friend!   But what a terrible price for everyone!!   Again, I stressed, "Fear not!   Looking at Charianna -- but mostly Charianna -- and Jevstan with radiant love and assurance, I went on, "Do you believe that Frika shall live again?"

   Charianna looked stunned and desperately hopeful at the same time!   Jevstan just looked at me like I was crazy, mumbling something about how he didn't know how Frika had gotten under the stone anyway -- it was obvious he was in shock.   Charianna spoke for them both -- or perhaps just for herself -- as she said, "Can you truly do this?   I mean, my daughter is surely gone from us!   No one could be alive under this huge --." She couldn't go on.

   Without dragging the agony on any longer, I "became" the slab and "wanted" to be somewhere else.   The slab rose as if it was a leaf flitting in the wind and settled down a few feet away.   I went to where Frika's crushed, mangled body lay in a huge pool of blood and stooped down over her, covering her body with mine.   Gathering the Father Wind into me, I sent it through me and into her.   Her body quivered and shook under mine for a moment, she gasped as if she had been under water for far too long or as if she was an infant drawing it's first breath, and then I looked down into her face and saw eyes that were full of life again.   I rose, fully expecting to see what I saw.   She was no longer mangled and crushed.   She lay there a moment looking up at me as if she had just now awakened from sleep.   But then her eyes got wide as if she had suddenly realized that she was finally, truly awake from a nightmare!   I soothed her with a touch of love and she smiled at me.   Stepping back to let the others see what I could see, I took her by the hand and lifted her to her feet.

   Had a pine cone fell at the other end of the valley a mile away it would have sounded like the cliff face caving in, so profound was the silence when every one saw Frika standing there whole and alive!   That silence was broke by a keening cry of joy as Charianna ran to Frika, knelt down, held her at arms length and inspected her like she was the greatest treasure in the world, now found!   Jevstan just stood there with his jaw slack for a moment or two longer.   Then he too rushed foward, embracing Charianna and Frika both in an ecstatic hug! In the background everyone else was cheering now too, but I only heard them as if they were shouting from the other side of the universe.   I cared nothing for their adulations.   It was only Charianna and Frika that I really focused on.

   After what seemed like an eternity of rejoicing, Charianna stood.   She took Frika's hand like she was never going to let go of it again and stepped over to where I stood.   Kneeling in front of me and looking up at me with tears of joy streaming down her face, Charianna started to speak.   I had an idea what she was going to say so I didn't let her say it.   Instead I said, "Don't worship me!   Tell me this instead.   Will you be my friend?   Will you REALLY be my friend?   Always?"

   For her answer, Charianna stood and embraced me, kissing me all over my face in passionate gratitude.   From that day forward we were like one soul sharing two bodies.   The one thing that making her a friend did was that she was less afraid to be intimate with me.   I know that doesn't sound like a big deal, but consider: had she remained afraid of me and felt like she could never know me or trust me then what chance would I ever have to go further with her?   But now that the bridge was gapped I could begin to teach her, really teach her.   She was sure to understand.   Or so I thought.

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   "I hate to interrupt, but -- teach her what?   More myths?   I mean, what is this Father Wind?" I said, looking at Perki, my confusion written plain all over my face.

   Perki gave me an enigmatic smile   "Well, in my defense I gave you a clue a long time ago when I said that superstition is no substitute for knowledge."

   "So you deride superstition, by engaging in some more?"   I was even more confused now.

   Perki's smile changed from enigmatic to mischevious.   "Doc, Doc! I was just playing with you.   Of course you'd have known what the Father Wind was had I called it by it's real name.   It is just one of the many manifestations of the Potentiality.   In this case --"

   I gave her a chagrinned look.   "Of course! You're talking about the sangauna, the overall potential for energy to fill a void -- in this case, specifically, the conducting of energy to bring life back into the dead.   And you called it the Father Wind right at first so that Charianna would have a touchstone.   You were planning later to tell her the True Name, weren't you?" I exchanged my chagrinned look for one of mock remonstrance.   "Perki!   Don't play with me like that!"

   Perki pretended for a moment to be repentant.   But then she gave it away by chuckling a bit at the fun she'd had with me.   Nodding her agreement at last with what I'd just said, she replied, "Of course!   I couldn't spring it on her all at once. I had to speak at first in terms that she would understand.   Later, I could initiate her slowly into the truth.   And getting back, for the moment, to organized religion on your earth, well, Charianna was closer to the truth as she was then than the aforementioned religions ever imagined themselves to be.   Therefore it was going to be a lot easier here than there.   Suddenly she got sober.   "Oh how I wish I had done a better job! And oh how I wish it were not too late for the sangauna here!" With an effort she managed not to break into tears.

   Tactfully, I did not press it further.   Instead I turned my attention back to the scene unfolding before me.   But, of course, I couldn't help wondering what sort of disaster beyond help had occurred here.   Well, I wouldn't push.   I would find out soon enough -- at whatever pace Perki wanted to employ.

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   In order for Charianna to know The Truth, she first had to have her mind emptied.   And yet not quite.   It was a matter of perception and perspective.   Her beliefs had it almost right, but it was a matter of degrees rather than a matter of difference.   I told her so when I told her that I wanted her to be my pupil.   This was a few weeks after the resuurection of Frika and at the same time that the tribe was able to at last move into the pueblo.   I wanted to give her time to get over the initial shock, surprise and awe so that when I approached her with the idea she would be able to view it with a little bit more equanimity.   Had I approached her immediately afterwards she would have been so caught up in the "miracle" that she would not have been able to think about anything else.   Of course I had already acheived the other thing that Charianna needed: her undying trust in me.

   She agreed eagerly that she would be my pupil.   I think she thought that I was going to make her a dreamer or a High Priestess or a shamaness or something equally powerful and I also believe that she thought it was because she was already the matron of the tribe and so it was her's by right.   Well, I was going to make her something like a High Priestess, all right.   But it wasn't because of her position.   It was simply because she was who she was and what I could see she was capable of.

   I was sitting in the front room of my special chambers at the top right front corner of the pueblo when Charianna came to me that first day.   These chambers included the aforementioned front room which was my living space.   And a special room behind that.   The living space had windows which made it airy and light.   The special room behind had no windows and it was dark, unless I was in there manifesting my aura.   The living space was furnished sparsely, yet comforably with items of furniture and appliances that I had replicated in Edgar.   The back room had nothing in it except two mats for sitting on.   When I saw that it was Charianna, I arose from the low divan that I had been reposing on and gestured for her to follow me into the back room.

   As soon as we were settled facing each other and I had manifested my aura, I let her have it with both barrels, as it were.   Giving her a grave smile, I said, "You are going to learn, among other things, how to love the Buhroots to death.   Do you think you would like that?"

   She sat there in the soft bluish white light of my aura and gaped at me for several moments as if I had lost my mind.   Then she began to laugh, while trying desperately not to.   When she had finally managed to get control of herself, she said, " I see.   Surely you are jesting with me?   I know you are not crazy nor have you lost your mind and I know you well enough that I can trust you not to lie to me so I must assume --"

   "I assure you that I am not jesting with you." I told her firmly.

   All she could do was stare at me in complete bewilderment.

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