�� Weslee sighed in exasperation again.� � Edgar was remaining mute, although he was imploring heaven with looks skyward -- whether he was imploring heaven to absolve his responsibility for me or whether he was wanting divine intervention placed between him and Weslee, I wasn't sure. � But sudenly I had an epiphany composed partly of a moment of bright truth and composed partly of my perception of how ludicrous the whole thing was. � I was talking to a bear, ferchrissakes!� As if it was the most natural thing in the world! � Additionally, I was assigning human qualities and characteristics to a AI.� Talk about your anthropormorphising here! � On the other hand, I had nothing to go back to, really. � I had no children, my parents were gone, my ex- wives hated my guts and my siblings wouldn't miss me. � And God knew my car, house and bank account was no great shakes! � Therefore, I had nothing to lose if I stayed here -- or went wherever Weslee and Edgar wanted me to go. � And best of all, it had suddenly dawned on me that I was in a future that could be VERY interesting indeed. � What I saw outside Edgar's door was very tantalizing and -- perhaps? -- proof of myriad possibilities. � So what if I had to do a little something heroic to earn my berth in this world? � I was prepared to do that. � And I felt that I had formidable allies on my side in the "persons" of Weslee and Edgar. � After all, if Edgar could travel through time, what else might he be able to do? � And Weslee? �� Who knew what a genetically enhanced (Weslee HAD to be that!) bear was capable of? � Still, Edgar's behavior suggested that Weslee's behavior left something to be desired so I would have to be careful about him until I knew the situation better. � So, on balance, I was prepared to do what they were going to ask of me -- provisionally. Providing I could do it and providing Weslee could be trusted. � It didn't take me long to find out that in Weslee's case it was less than a matter of trust. � It was more a matter of babysitting a lazy genius! � I hope you'll pardon the pun here but Weslee's name was a misnomer -- He wouldn't Turn a paw -- if he could get by with it.

�� I looked at Edgar. "Will you wait for me?"

�� "Of course, Sire! I am, as I implied, at your beck and call." Edgar replied with a solemn wink.

�� Thus sure of a place of retreat (I hoped!) I joined Weslee outside. I turned to Weslee. "You were saying something about heroics? Perhaps you'd care to start by telling me what the problem is here?"

�� ( I see that a word or two of explanation on my part is in order here, too. � I have been so caught up in my narrative that I have become remiss.� I have been throwing around concepts like Time Machine, AI, genetic engineering, sun singing and planetary engineering and such as if I was entirely conversant with them in everyday life. � Of course I was not. � However, in my defense, one could not be alive at the end of the twentieth century and not at least hear about the theories concerning these things -- unless one was a complete dolt. � But to see them in real life was a different matter altogether. � Now I DO know that they are not just the conceit of some science fiction writer. � And I know that the future is going to be a wonderful place after all! �BUT -- the main purpose of this "footnote", if you will, is to let you know that I was NOT in ownership of special knowledge at the start of this narrative -- when the aliens came to my house. � However, I WAS a special person -- I just didn't know it at that time.� That's why the aliens came.� And that's why Edgar came. � And that's why Perkibabzalahn -- for that was the beautiful red haired girl's name -- came also. � But more about her in a "moment" or two.)

�� This was where Weslee, in his typical fashion (as I was to learn later, much to my dismay) ran out of steam. � He began dissembling. � "Well, You see, um, ah, er, I think, maybe, Perki would be the, um, er, "Person" (he actually made quotation marks in the air around the word person) might be the person, I should say -- entity -- maybe, who would be, er, ah, best at explaining all this, er, whatver." He gave me a hopeful look with his bright, black, "button" koala bear looking eyes.

�� I became exasperated with him. � Despite the fact that he was a bear, twice my size and could probably kill me with one swipe of his mighty paw, I was not afraid of him. � He seemed like a wimp, bear or no bear. � (Of course as I indicated already, I was to learn that it was just pure laziness on his part and because of his laziness I was right at that moment -- I DID have nothing to fear from him. � Of course if he WAS significantly inspired, Weslee COULD be a formidable opponent. � But not in my case. � Again, as I have indicated above, I had special dispensation in Weslee's eyes and thus he had all the "excuse" in the world NOT to turn a paw in my direction.) "Who the heck is this Perki entity you're talking about?� Aren't I in the dark enough already without you bringing in some new character that I haven't even heard of?

�� Weslee gave me a sullen look -- more than likely at the tone I was taking with him.� But then he brightened and gave me a sly look. � "Oh. You may not have heard of Perki, but you've certainly seen Perki!" and he leered enigmatically.

�� I was baffled and showed it by the look on my face. � Then something dawned on me. � Something that I had not thought of for quite awhile. "Wait a minute! � I can't go anywhere anyway. � I am not properely dressed. � All I have is this T shirt that I'm wearing!"

�� Now it was Weslee's turn to look baffled. "So?"

�� He had a point. � A good one. �And I immediately felt stupid for thinking the same old way I always had. � In this world, the brave new future, who was going to care? � For proof of that I had been standing outside Edgar, in broad daylight, in full view of the people working in the nearer fields and no one had so much as glanced twice at me -- why would they? "OK.� Lay on Macduff!" I said, acting braver than I felt. "So where is this Perki you're talking about?"

�� Weslee gave me a puzzled look, more than likely at my anachronistic reference to MacDuff, shrugged it off after a moment and then laconically motioned that I should follow him. � I did.

�� As we walked up the sugary white sandy path leading away from Edgar and heading towards the crystal blue river that bisected the path, I, still not feeling completely sure of the situation, looked back towards where I hoped Edgar still stood. � Edgar WAS as good as his word. � He had gone nowhere and I was mollified that he would be here when I returned. � What would be the point in taunting me by staying in sight until I was gone and then disappearing? � He could just as easily leave at any time and there would be nothing I could do about it. � Thus assured by my logic and Edgar's continued presence I trudged on, looking at Weslee's broad back. � This side of his T shirt, I noticed idly as we walked along, sported this message: Objects on my backside appear larger than they are.

�� Here I am tempted to give a travelogue of the strange and wondrous sights I viewed as we trudged through this future utopia (well, I assumed it HAD been and we were going to do something to restore that; nothing else made sense), but it is not going to happen for a couple of reasons: First of all because we didn't go very far and secondly, because of that I didn't see much beyond what I already had. � Rest assured, though, that there will be much more to describe later.� At any rate, we crossed the river. � It was neither too cold or deep -- we waded across in comfort -- and when we got to the other side the air felt like a perfect 75 degrees so that I did not get cold as the warm wind dried me off.� I asked Weslee if the weather was always this perfect. � He assured me that it was.� I realized at that moment that I had not felt this gloriously alive in years -- I hadn't had a cigarette in many hours and I didn't even miss it. � I walked on in perfect contentment, at one with the world and myself.� And even after all these years and the many subsequent events, that moment of perfect peace never quite left me.

�� Well, I will relent and describe one fascinating aspect of our short journey. � Some of the fish in the river were people; in the translucent water I could see clearly that they had human features that were smoothly melded into their piscine bodies. "Well, whatever turns your crank!" I thought, as they swam around me and Weslee and the other natural fish. � Not too far after that we came to what looked like, at first glance, simply a Banyan Grove. � Upon closer examination, though, I saw it contained a cozy little cottage fashioned inside it's main, large trunk. Weslee went up the path with me following him and rang a little crystralline bell beside the door. � The door was opened a moment later.�� I wanted to find a place to hide, but at the same time I didn't want to be anywhere but here! � The door had been opened by the beautiful red haired girl!

�� She gave me the most perfect, warm dazzling smile that I had ever seen grace the face of any human woman. "Well," she said in tones so melodious and dulcet that it might make an angel envious, "Don't just stand there, come on in before the Angles see us together.� Oh. � I don't believe we've been formally introduced. � My full name is Perkibabzalahn, but you can call me Perki -- with an I -- for short! And you are?"

�� I stammered, I basked in her presence (still naked -- and the most perfectly shaped woman I had ever seen! � Even Perki with an I seemed perfect and not stupid!) � and then I finally found my voice. "Sure! � Like YOU don't know who I am!" I threw both hands across my mouth as if I could still keep that cynical statement from coming out, while Weslee -- I was going to stuff him or use him for a rug, I wasn't sure yet -- stood by and laughed loudly -- without inhibition -- at my faux pas.�

�� Even her laughter sounded like a choir of angels, "It doesn't matter what your name is.� I was just being polite in case you wanted to give it. � From now on you'll have a code name. � Any preference?"

�� I said the first thing that popped into my head -- a childhood fantasy name I'd given myself, "Dr Seven! � At your service, Mum!" And then I followed her and Weslee into the cottage.

�� Once we were inside and Weslee and I had seated oursleves around a cozy little table, Perki bustled about the economic little kitchen putting the finishing touches on breakfast. � I was famished, but hadn't realized it until I smelled the wonderful aroma of food. � It didn't take me long to wolf the food down once Perki had set it on the table before me. � I did have time to notice that Weslee was no slouch as a trencherman either. � Perki was as fastidious as a cat in her eating habits, daintily munching away so that she didn't get so much as a crumb on that fabulous nude body. � Noticing -- REALLY noticing! -- that nude body all over again, I realized to my surprise that I was not the least bit uncomfortable. � In momentary retrospect, I had expected to be uncomfortable, being in that close proximity with a naked woman, especially since I had not been in quite awhile. � But somehow it just seemed natural and not at all lewd or obscene. � Maybe it was the setting -- the future -- that made it seem different somehow. � Or maybe it was just me coming to grips with reality. � In any case it was alright.� And I realized that I could get quite comfortable with it, without getting aroused all the time.

�� A sudden pressure in my bladder made me realize that time travel or no time travel, several hours had passed since I had relieved myself; in other words the beer I drank the night before (how many hundreds of years ago?) was now coming back to haunt me. � I asked Perki where the facilities were and if I could use them. � I got a blank look from both Perki and Weslee. � I got a lot little more specific, "Pardon my French, but I gotta pee. � Where's your bathroom?"

�� Perki still looked blank. � But Weslee chuckled. � I couldn't understand what the joke was. � And I couldn't figure out why Perki seemed to have no idea what I was asking about. � Mightily nonplussed, I opened my mouth to try again, but Weslee beat me to it. � Still chuckling, he said dispargingly, "You superior humans from the twentieth century!" � Then he began laughing so hard that he fell off his chair and ended up laying on his back, with his four paws sticking up in the air. � Perki gave him a glaring, remonstrative look, but he was oblivious. So she turned to me with a look of apology and said, in her usual melodious, dulcet tones, "I don't know what pee is and I don't know what a bathroom is. But if I had to hazard a guess it sounds a little messy.�� Perhaps you'd care to go outside?"

�� At this point the need had become imperative so I rushed outside, found a tree that I could get behind and did my "duty", all the time wondering in a stunned sort of way what was up with this. � Were Weslee and Perki, despite all appearances, robots? Must be! I answered myself, nothing else makes sense! � When I was finished I stood there by the tree for a few moments feeling both embarrassed that I had misunderstood their nature and also feeling a bit miffed that they had assumed that I knew. � And also feeling taken advantage off -- why should I care what happened to robots, why should I help their "species" defeat an enemy that was probably more their enemy than mine?�But mostly I was feeling disappointed. Here I find the most perfect girl in the world and she turns out to be a robot, I told myself dejectedly as I went back inside to confront them and tell them I was going home.

�� By this time Weslee was back in his chair and was lazily picking his teeth with a dagger he'd produced from somewhere. � I couldn't help thinking that his designers had gone to a lot of trouble to make his teeth look completely authentic. But when I voiced my suspicions, certain that I would not be contradicted, I was stunned to learn that my theory didn't hold water. � Weslee gave me a very bemused look, "Robots?" He chuckled in a throaty growl. � "Wrong! � I am a genetically engineered human. � And our scientists went one better. � We are enhanced in several ways. � One of them is that our bodies don't produce any waste. � Every milligram of whatever we eat or drink is utilized by our bodies. � We are now VERY efficient chemical engines." And he mock preened himself.

�� In my amazement I assumed that he was including Perki in his explanation. It was only later that I found out that he was not. "Why that's wonderful!" I burst out, "And I guess that means you don't have to take a sh --!" I caught myself before I said the crude word in the presence of a lady, once again clapping my hands over my mouth and this time turning red with embarrassment. � To try to cover my near faux pas, I blurted out, "Do you think that they can fix me too?" Then looking at Weslee and realizing how that might sound, I blushed all over again.� Nevertheless, I couldn't help thinking how this made Perki even more perfect in my sight. � And call me fastidious if you will, but it had always bothered me how much like animals we were and how there was nothing we could do about it in the past I had come from. � In my eyes, at least, this elimination of the elimination made humanity several steps closer to "godhood". � Or at least several steps away from animalhood.

�� Weslee appeared not to notice, going back to laconically picking his enormous teeth again. � Perki came to my rescue.

�� "Of course! � That was part of the plan all along. � But can we get down to business here first? � There are a few other things you also need to know." She said smiling at me in a business like manner. "Oh.� And I apologize for not catching on to what you were asking about. � One tends to forget, you see." ( This seemed to confirm my assumption that Weslee had been including her in his earlier statement, but it did nothing of the kind. � More later. � Now back to the present stage of the narrative.)

�� Understandably, I was both frightened and excited at the prospect of being genetically engineered; would it hurt, would they goof, and if all went well what wonders might await me? To cover my trepidation I said, "But of course!"

� � �