Yes, Guys and Gals, it's that time of year again. The warm weather is coming and it brings the time when men and women everywhere will crowd the courthouses to purchase a marriage license. All the plans have probably been in process for months now. Mothers and Daughters are busy confirming reservations, checking on wedding cakes and ordering invitations. For most, this process is a similar experience, complete with Churches, Pastors and Bible readings. Then, there are those of us out there that have opted for a unique wedding that reflects our personal relationship with the God and Goddess. A ceremony that reveres Nature and all of her energies. It is called a Handfasting.
As Pagans, we often have a lot of questions on how we should proceed with a wedding. Some want a really special occasion that doesn't include a civil ceremony. Most of us want to have a spiritual wedding designed by the Bride and Groom, not their local State Government. There are Christian ceremonies. While these are quite beautiful, I think most will agree when I say that a ceremony like this just would not ''Fit''. For the most part, much of the things that are taught with the Christian religion contradict what we believe as Pagans. So, what should all of the love sick Pagan couples do in this situation? Well, that all depends on the wants of each couple, a willingness to research information, and a knowledge of Paganism in their area.

I myself, am planning a handfasting to take place on September 12, 1998. I found my Officiant by accident a few months ago while reading through a bridal magazine. Rev. Joyce, a non-denominational Minister, had written an article for a magazine on the Celtic Handfasting. I called her at the number she had listed at the end of the article.We discussed my needs for my wedding and the conversation switched to light hearted conversation about religion. She is a practicing Buddhist with a real down to earth attitude about religion. Luck would have it that she lives only a short distance from my home. So, after much planning, I now have an Officiant that is legally able to perform my Handfasting Ceremony. I am sure the day will be very memorable for all in attendance.

There are a few ways that a person can obtain an Officiant to do their Handfasting. A Unitarian Universalist Church may be of help in finding one. Then, of course, there is the all mighty Internet. My Officiant has her own web page. If she does, then I am sure that others that would be qualified to perform a handfasting, will also have a web site. You can look up various subjects on Handfastings that will be helpful, not only with the Officiant, but with vows and Ceremonial layout.
Deciding to use the Handfasting Ceremony can make things trying at times, especially if your Friends and Family are intensely Christian. As with many things dealing with Pagan Religions, you may find yourself and your Fiance' having to explain a lot about your wedding. If your Guests are the understanding kind, you may not have that much of a problem. Then again, if they are predominantly Christian, they may not be as easy going. Do not let this discourage you from your path. The religion that you follow may help you to overcome any problems that may arise. Just ask your Pantheons for assistance and let things take their natural course. After all, it is your wedding and not your Guests'.
You may always compromise a little, by incorporating your religions' marriage traditions with those that are widely accepted today. This is easy considering that many of todays traditions are steeped in Paganism. The carrying of the bride across the threshold is one such tradition. Others include the cake and the garter. The term ''Tying the knot'' comes from the Handfasting Ceremony itself, as this is the part of the ceremony when the Bride and Groom are tied together at the wrist to symbolize their spiritual unity. There is a lot of information on the Internet if one is inclined to search for it.
The BEST advise I can give to the couples that will choose to have a Pagan Handfasting ceremony is to enjoy your day. Do not worry about who is speaking below their breath about your vows, or who isn't in agreement with you for jumping over a broom. You are getting Married, you are in love, and you follow a religion that you should never be ashamed of. Place your ceremony, your Marriage, and your trust in the God and Goddess. Chances are they won't let you down.
Go with Light and Love, Dear Pagan Friends

PaganRose