From the Mouths of Mulder and Scully

Season One

  • drink -- Deep Throat

    •     "Can I buy you a drink?"
        "Its two o'clock in the afternoon Agent Mulder."
        "That's not stopping the rest of these people."
  • stoned -- Deep Throat

    •     "Mulder, did you see their eyes?  If I were that stoned, I-"
        "Oooh, if you were that stoned, what?"
  • bile -- Squeeze

    •     "I think it's bile."
        "Is there any way I can get it off my fingers quickly without betraying my cool exterior?"
  • boyfriend -- Darkness Falls

    •     "Rugged manly men, in the full bloom of their manhood."
        "Right, but what am I looking for?"
        "Anything strange, unexplainable, unlikely...boyfriend?"
  • yourehot -- E.B.E.

    •     "I don't how know you could think that what they say is even remotely plausible."
        "I think it's remotely plausible that someone might think you're hot."

    Season Two

  • allright -- Little Green Men

    •     "So what do you want?"
        "To know that you're allright."
  • mustnice -- Sleepless

    •     "Must be nice not having someone question your every move, poking holes in all your theories?"
       "Oh, oh yeah . . . i-i-it's great. I-I'm surprised I-I put up with you for so long."
  • superbowls -- One Breath

    •     "I brought you a present. Superstars of the Superbowls."
        "I knew there was a reason to live."
  • illness -- Soft Light

    •     "Nonsensical repetitive behavior is a common trait of mental illness."
        "Are you trying to tell me something?"

    Season Three

  • onlyfive -- The List

    •     "Imagine if you could come back and take out five people who had caused you to suffer. Who would they be?"
        "I only get five?"
        "I remembered your birthday this year, didn't I Scully?"
  • april -- D.P.O.

    •     "I'm surprised you haven't already read that issue."
        "Oh I have, April is the cruelest month but mine didn't come with this. I found that between Ms. April and women of the Ivy league."
  • bambi -- War of the Coprophages

    •     "Bambi also has this theory I've never come acro-."
        "Who?"
        "Dr Berenbaum. Anyway, her theory is-"
        "Her name is Bambi?"
        "Yeah, both here parents were naturalists. Her theory is that UFOs are actually nocturnal insect swarms passing through     electrical airfields."
        "Her name is *Bambi*?
  • nonono -- Syzygy

    •     "Go ahead."
        "No, you go ahead."
        "No, no, no, be my guest."
  • machoman -- Syzygy

    •     "Will you let me drive?"
        "I'm driving. Why do you always have to drive? Because you're the guy? Because you're the big macho man?"
        "No. I was just never sure your little feet could reach the peddles."
  • shutup -- Syzygy

    •     "Scully, you're gonna wanna… you just… ran a stop sign back there Scully."
        "Shut up Mulder!"
  • drooled -- Pusher

    •     "Hey!"
        *gasp*
        "I think you drooled on me."
        "Sorry."
  • whammy -- Pusher

    •     "Modell psyched the guy out! He put the whammy on him!"
        "Please explain to me the scientific nature of the whammy."
  • noduck -- Quagmire

    •     "What was that?"
        "I don't know, but it ain't no duck."

    Season Four

    Season Five

  • unspoken -- Detour

    •     "Mulder we've got this conference, they're waiting."
        "Yeah, how do I say this without using any negative words Scully?"
        "You want me to tell them that your not going to make it to this year's team assembly."
        "You see that, we don't need that conference, we have communication like that, unspoken. You know what I'm thinking."
  • sleepbag -- Detour

    •     "I was told once that the best way to regenerate body heat is to crawl naked into a sleeping bag with somebody else who was already naked."
        "Maybe if it rains sleeping bags you'll get lucky."
  • marry_me -- Chinga

    •     "Scully?"
        "Yes?"
        "Marry me."
  • gotto -- Chinga

    •     "There's... got to be an explanation."
        "Oh, I don't know.  I think some things are better left unexplained."
  • evidence -- Kill Switch

    •     "Mulder, there's evidence."
        "Gee, I hope so."
  • looking -- Bad Blood

    •     "What am I even looking for?"
        "I don't know."
  • wegotem -- Bad Blood

    •     "Is there any sign of-"
        "Two small puncture wounds on the neck?!"
        "That's not what I was gonna ask."
        "Too bad, we got 'em. Check it out!"

    Fight the Future

  • werefbi

    •     "Well, we're FBI agents."
        "You're not FBI agents." (kid)
        "How do you know."
        "Cuz y'all look like door to door salesmen."

    Season Six

  • dreams -- Triangle

    •     "But you believed me."
        "In your dreams."
  • loveyou -- Triangle

    •     "Hey Scully."
        "Yes?"
        "I love you."
        "Oh brother."
  • gifts -- How the ghosts stole Christmas (?)

    •     "I know we said that we weren't going to exchange gifts, but, uh, I gotcha, a little something."
        "Mulder."
        "Merry Christmas."
        "Well I got you a little something too."
        *Mulder chuckles*
  • shotme -- How the ghosts stole Christmas

    •     "You shot me first."
        "I didn't shoot you. You shot me."
  • maybe -- How the ghosts stole Christmas

    •     "Not that my only joy in life is proving you wrong."
        "When have you proved my wrong?"
        "Well, why else would you want me out there with you?"
        "You didn't want to be there? Oh, that's, um, self righteous and narcissistic of me to say, isn't it?"
        "No, um, maybe I did want to be out there with you."
  • advice -- Rain King

    •     "Ahh, he wants advice. Dating advice."
        "Dating advice? From whom?"
        "Yours truly... Hello? Hey Scully? Scully you there?"
        "I heard you. Mulder, when was the last time you went on a date?"
        "I will talk to you later."
        "The blind leading the blind."
  • ghetto -- Two Fathers

    •     "Hey home girl! What's up?"
        "Mulder, it's my distinct impression that you just cheated. And that you're not coming in again today."
        "No, Scully. I got game."
        "Yeah, you got so much game, I'm wondering if you have any work left in you."
        "No, I’m ready to J.O.B. just not on some jag-off shoeshine tip."
        "No jag-off shoeshine tip?"
        "No background checking, jag-off shoeshine tip."
        "Well, about your J.O.B., Mulder, somebody's been trying very hard to reach you by phone. Somebody who wants you back at the F.B.I. A.S.A.P."
        "'Bout what?"
        "About an X-File."

    Unknown

  • sick

    •     "I just came up with a sick theory, Mulder."
        "Ooh, I'm listening."
  • theory

    •     "Let's just forget for the moment that there's no scientific theory to support it."
        "Okay."
  • extending

    •     "I was merely extending her a professional courtesy."
        "Oh, is that what you were extending."
  • imcrazy

    •     "Tell me I'm crazy."
        "Mulder?  You're crazy."
  • constipated

    •     "Do I look like I'm having fun, Scully?"
        "You look constipated, actually."
  • videos

    •     "Whatever tape you found in that VCR isn't mine."
        "Good, because I put it back in that drawer with all those other videos that aren't yours."
  • wedding

    •     "So, how was the wedding?"
        "You mean the part where the groom passed out, or the dog bit the drummer?"
        "Did you catch the bouquet?"
        "Maybe."
  • Tape
  • cheeksneak

    •     "Is that a hound I hear baying out in the moors?"
        "No, actually that was a left cheek sneek."

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    Last updated:  February 21, 1999