MMM - BOBO! Man, you should have heard that Sexbat guy ripping you... I can't wait to hear what you have to say about it, and neither can the fans!

Fans -(singsonging)  Bobo's Gonna Kill You... Bobo's Gonna Kill You... (What did you expect? It IS a High School)

Bobo stares at Mike for a second, and then crosses his arms across his massive chest. The girls Sexbat abandoned duck behind MMM totally intimidated - thus giving Mike nothing to hide behind himself...

MMM: Uh, folks, Sexbat's gone... Eh heh heh (sweat)

Fans - Oops. Sorry. Carry on.

MMM: Mr. Fiendish? Comments? Hey! Gimme back my microphone! Oof!

Hello, my intended....

The fans pop for the monster as Walt Disney quietly spins in his grave.

Much as I dislike appearing for these House Show promos, there have been some points brought up by the Umpire Lestat that just require me to address them..

Fans: This Pleases Me!

.....That's just sad. As I was saying, the mallrat has been selling some VERY expensive tickets of late, and as your Champion, I have to come out and make sure those tickets get PUNCHED. Say, what's that puddle in the ring?

Fans: Sexbat Was Here.

I see... Then why am I on the BobTron? Mike?

MMM - Uh... Well... Sexbat was explaining that you were... um... That is... He... Uh...

Fans: GET SOME BALLS, MIKE.

MMM - (ahem) Sexbat was explaining how you were a chimp....

Fans: OOOOOOOOH!

A chimp? You're kidding.... Then again, it fits with his whole 'Bobo the Knuckledragger' routine, so I guess I can see where he's coming from... But you know what?

Fans: No, WHAT?

I know where he's GOING with it. Right into the GROUND via one-way passage on Bobo's Wild Ride!

The crowd pops again, keeping the momentum going for Uncle Walt...

See, I've been all across this big blue marble and I've dealt with the sort of thing that Sexbat claims to be...

MMM - Really? You've fought vampires?

SURE. I had an uncle that was one of those... But nobody believed me, so I had to prove it. So I took this big STAKE, and RAMMED it right through his ticker - and he DIED. They believed me THEN, lemme tell ya.

Fans: ..........(cough).....

MMM - Y'know, just when I think you've said the evillest thing on earth...

I keep talking, I know. Don't steal my catchphrases again or it's The Treatment for you, savvy?

MMM - I'll be good.

Atta boy. So, Wes. You wanna claim I'm an ape, do you? You wanna claim you're a vampire, do you? Well, kid, since you've obviously annoyed the BigBOSS with your nonsense to the point that he wants to be rid of you, you get the Grand Tour of Hell that is a match against the Angel of DEATH.. MOST... EXALTED. And just to make it interesting, he's opted to make this a title match. Like you have a chance or something... It is to laugh. See, kid, that's called IRONY. Nobody with two brain cells to rub together thinks some dink that serves up java at Starbucks can do anything but get wedged in the waffle of my BOOT.

Okay, now I notice he claims that my training by sundering concrete is only possible because of callouses I got whilst dragging my knucks on the pavement... So, as a demonstration of the sort of thing the Umpire has gotten himself into lemme just trot over here to this cornerpost...

MMM - What are you planning?

This is the usual ring, right? No gimmick setup or anything?

MMM - Standard half-inch rolled steel posts five inches in diameter, Mr. Fiendish... Why?

This is why... RAAAGH!

Bobo spins, bringing his foot around in a Spinning Crescent Kick that SLAMS into the post, bending it in half!

Fans: HOLY SHYTE!

How's THAT for your Darwin book, Wes? You see, between my YEARS of training and my lunatic strength, there really isn't a whole lot some suburban milquetoast can hope to do...

Fans: 'CEPT SMILE.

.....Geeze, people, let's get on the same page here.

Fans: But we haven't said that in SO long....

Okay, just that ONCE I'll let you get away with it. Out of your systems now?

Fans: Yes. Thanks a lot.

You're Welcome...

Fans: See You SOON.

I'm beginning to remember WHY I don't do House Show Promos..

Fans: But I digress...

....Enough already! For the love of CHRIST can I cut my flippin' promo and get on with the rest of my life?

Fans: ..........(cough).....

THANKS. As I was TRYING to say, Sexbat, you're going to get something your mommy and daddy should have given you come Monday Morning Mayhem - and I DON'T mean a shiny tricycle. No, you're going to get beaten half to DEATH, and put in the CORNER for a TIME OUT. Six weeks should be enough time for you to think about what you WERE going to do with your life - and for your BONES to KNIT. But I digress... So we're going to have a nice little clash between Good and Evil OLD SCHOOL. Vampires are supposed to be evil, and Angels are supposed to be good... Sadly, THIS is ONE Angel that's EVIL. And to make matters WORSE you mess up the formula by not BEING ANY GOOD. Heh.

So, folks, when Wes steps into the ring for a CRASH COURSE in the PRICE of HUBRIS, remember one thing...

I'm NOT monkeying around.

You're Welcome. See you SOON.