What submission is, to me, is hard to describe as well. What it is *not* is being forced to do things against my will, or having to accept any order that I am given, without question. For one thing, I choose to submit only to my Master, I have never had the desire to submit to anyone else as fully as I have to him. Even before I was collared by my Master, I did not do anything that any Dominant asked of me (or ordered me). It amazes me how on IRC, a wannabe Dom will enter a channel and immediately send you a private message something like "submit to me slut!" Actually, its gotten to the point now of being amusing; they make it so obvious they have no clue about D/s.

For me, submission means that I freely choose to give the gift of my submission to my Master. This is not something that can or should be done lightly; you need to know a person, build a mutual trust before you can truly begin to submit. You can have sex with anyone, and you can be abused by anyone, but to truly submit, from in your heart, takes finding a special person and building a relationship with that person. That is what submission is to me. I found it easy to give of my body while "playing" on IRC, but I had no intention of surrending my heart to anyone. I didn't, until I met Master. Then, after some time had passed and we had gotten to know each other, begun to build a trust relationship, and to love each other, I realized that I had found the person that I wanted, and needed, to submit to fully, including my heart and my soul. I wanted him to own me completely, to be his, because of my love for him. I also knew that he loved me, and that he would never abuse me or the trust I have placed in him.

Submission, to me, is loving my Master so much, and with such a special kind of love that I want to please him, and to make him happy. But, I know that in return, he has the same wants and needs to make me happy and to please me. He has told me, so many times, that all I have to do to "get rid of him" is to tell him I no longer love him and no longer want to belong to him. That's not going to happen any time soon, bet on it!

Submission, giving control up to another person, does not take a weak person. You have to have an inner strength to be able to fully and truly submit. I find myself sometimes fighting my own submission; Master will ask something of me that I don't feel like I can do, or don't want to do, and I'll hesitate. Sometimes, we'll talk about it and I will decide to go ahead and give in, to let my submission come through. As Master and I were talking about it just the other day, I have never regretted submitting to him, never regretted anything that I have done by submitting and surrendering to him. Its just something that isn't always easy to do, you have to truly want it, and be brave and strong enough to let your submission happen, to let yourself be controlled by another. Its not always easy, but for me, it is always so satisfying and rewarding when I am able to let that happen.