"If the other Ministers of the Gospel are going to sugar-coat Truth whilst they are engaged in their Bible-Beating ways, the least they could do is to follow the whole recipe and Beat Well!" - Rev. C.V. Sinner
What's Shakin' at the GNAWBONE HOLIEST CHURCH OF GOD!!!:
IF YOU ARE WASHED IN THE BLOOD OF THE LAMB, HOW COME YOU THEN WENT AHEAD AND TOWELED YOURSELF DRY?
An outreach program to the Agnostic and Apostate Christian... Atheists need not apply... but Deists are more than welcome!
GET RIGHT WITH GOD... GET TIGHT BUNS WITH GOD
It is so wonderful to be living in a free, God-fearing Christian Nation where our glorious Constitution permits us the "free exercise" of religion- and "exercising" is just what this program is all about!... led by a GNAWBONE HOLIEST congregant who happens also to be one of the few certified Tae Bo instructors in Burke County.
DOES THE LAMB OF GOD HEAR THE PRAYER OF A EWE?
A program series which looks closely at the role of women in God's Holy Plan...
this week: SOMETIMES A GOOD CHRISTIAN GAL JUST HAS TO LIE BACK AND PUT UP WITH A LITTLE INCONVENIENCE TO SERVE THE LORD: Why Men were the only ones who were enjoined by God to actually enjoy the conjugal union between a Man and a Woman... plus a guest talk by a Gynecologist who is expert in the performance of Clitorodectomies!
next week: IT'S NOT ADULTERY IF IT'S MERELY "PRACTICE... PRACTICE... PRACTICE!": Why Men sometimes must have multiple Conjugal Partners in order to truly fulfill their Holy Duty to enjoy the sexual bond with a chaste Stay-at-Home Woman who, like her husband, only wishes to fulfill her own role in God's Holy Plan.