BloodHound Gang Lyrics

One Fierce Beer Coaster

Kiss Me Where It Smells Funny You came twice last year like a Sears catalog. Cause your last boyfriend makes love like Boss Hogg. Well now you're seeing
me but soon I'll have you seeing God. Cause girl I'll get you panting like you're Pavlov's dog. Like a DC-10 I'm guaranteed to
go down. But baby your black box is the one that I found. I'll give you the gift that keeps on giving it won't cost you any money.
Then she grabbed me by the ears and said kiss me where it smells funny. So down I go like I'm 2000 Flushes. I can tell I'm
doing something right by the way that she blushes. She's one that's speechless but I'm the one that's tongue tied. She's thinking
holy mackerel I'm thinking tuna on the side. There must be something wrong with Al Pacino's nose. Cause the scent of a woman
is like rotten tomatoes. Yea I'm snorkeling for clams and it doesn't matter if I wanna be. Don't come up for air until you kiss me
where it smells funny. Drop my face below her waist and stay on third base. I can tell that the cherry's ripe by the way it tastes.
Yea I could make a lot of wine with the yeast I find inside her panties. And then drink it while eating out down at the Seafood
Shanty.

Lift Your Head Up High(And Blow Your Brains Out) Do you still go to raves? Do you think that Christ saves? Do you spend your days in a Purple Haze? Do you contemplate what
a grape nut is? Or could you live drinkin' your own whiz? Are you hooked on a feeling are you hooked on gin-n-tonics? Are
you hooked on fistin are you hooked on phonics? Did you ever have sex with a box of Kleenex? Did you like the movie
Malcolm X? Or do you own a record by Stryper? Do you have a mongoloid cousin wearin' diapers? Were you born and raised
in New Jersey? Did you like the taste of Crystal Pepsi? Are you deaf? Well if you are you can't hear me. But what's the use of
living if your ear's be? Broken even if I spoke clearly. You're still not able to hear me. Cause life is a game that no one wins. But
you deserve a headstart the way your life's goin'. So throw in the towel cause your life ain't shit. No take that towel and hang
yourself with it. Life's short and hard like a body-building elf. So save the planet and kill yourself. If you're feeling down-and-out
with what your life's all about. Lift your head up and blow your brains out. Lift your head up high and blow your brains out.
Does your girlfriend look like the chick from M*A*S*H? Dead ringer for Klinger with a thicker mustache? When you're at a
get-together does everybody always ask? Ain't no Halloween party why's she wearin' that mask? Does she got more Chins
than the Chinese phone book? Would you rather make out with a rusty fish hook? Does she stick to linoleum when she squats?
Does she look pregnant although she's not? Did you first see your boyfriend on Cops? Or at a Star Trek convention or on top?
Of your best friend or maybe at Wendy's? Workin' third shift late New Years' Eve? Does he live under a bridge scare kids and
kill squirrels? Does he do kegstands until he hurls? Could a blind man mistake his complexion for Braille. Does he have time to
sit around and wait for the mail. Life is a game that no one wins. But you deserve a headstart the way your life's goin' So throw
in the towel cause your life ain't shit. No take that towel and hang yourself with it. Life's short and hard like a body-building elf.
So save the planet and kill yourself. If you're feeling down-and-out with what your life's all about. Lift your head up and blow
your brains out. Lift your head up high and blow your brains out. So take your life instead of taking it for granted. I'm thinking
you should can it I think I'll help you plan it. Live today like it's gonna be your last. Hang out blow your mind have yourself a
gas. I hope you take this the wrong way. And misinterpret what I say. Rewind and let me reverse. Backwards like Judas Preist
first did. Cause life is a game that no one wins. But you deserve a headstart the way your life's goin'. So throw in the towel
cause your life ain't shit. No take that towel and hang yourself with it. Life's short and hard like a body-building elf. So save the
planet and kill yourself. If you're feeling down-and-out with what your life's all about. Lift your head up and blow your brains
out. Lift your head up high and blow your brains out.

Fire Water Burn The roof the roof the roof is on fire. We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn. Burn motherfucker burn. Hello my
name is Jimmy Pop and I'm a dumb white guy. I'm not old or new but middle school fifth grade like junior high. So I don't know
mofo if y'all peeps be buggin' give props to my ho cause she all fly. But I can take the heat cause I'm the other white meat
known as 'Kid Funky Fried'. Yea I'm hung like planet Pluto hard to see with the naked eye. But if I crashed into Uranus I
would stick it where the sun don't shine. Cause I'm kind of like Han Solo always stroking my own wookie. I'm the root of all
that's evil yea but you can call me cookie. The roof the roof the roof is on fire. We don't need no water let the motherfucker
burn. Burn motherfucker burn. Yo yo this hard-core ghetto gangster image takes a lot of practice. I'm not black like Barry
White no I am white like Frank Black is. So if man is five and the devil is six than that must make me seven. This honkey's gone
to heaven. But if I go to hell then I hope I burn well. I'll spend my days with J.F.K., Marvin Gaye, Martha Raye, and Lawrence
Welk. And Kurt Cobain, Kojak, Mark Twain and Jimi Hendrix's poltergeist. And Webster yea Emmanuel Lewis cause he's the
anti-christ. The roof the roof the roof is on fire. We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn. Burn motherfucker burn.
Everybody here we go. Ohh Ohh. C'mon party people. Ohh Ohh. Throw your hands in the air. Ohh Ohh. C'mon party people.
Ohh Ohh. Wave 'em like you don't care. Ohh Ohh. C'mon party people. Ohh Ohh. Everbody say ho. Ohh Ohh. C'mon party
people. Ohh Ohh. Everybody here we go.

I Wish I Was Queer, So I Could Get Chicks If your ass is a Chinese restaurant I'll have the poo-poo platter. My friend Jerry Vandergrift kissed me in Home Ec. class. Later
in the afternoon some jarheads in the locker room kicked my ass. I said guys I'm like you I like Monster Trucks too. Wanna
see how many push-ups I can do? I just wish I was queer so I could get chicks. Chicks dig guys that are. Queer guys that don't
dig.. Chicks that don't dig guys like me. See I'm not queer I'm too ugly. But if I were handsome just imagine how great it would
be. Incognito as gay though but not actually that way though pseudo homo phony. Maybe it's a stupid theory or maybe just
stupidity. But if I was a queerbee in the fashion industry Scoring with a super model would be easy. Cause 'super model' means
voluptuous but is also is synonomous with 'super dumb'. Ya see I'd be a good listener so she'd treat me like a sister and soon
I'd become. That trusted friend that cares that rubs her back and braids her hair. No it wouldn't be a week before I'm in her
underwear. I wish I was queer so I could get chicks. Chicks dig guys that are. Queer guys that don't dig. Chicks that don't dig
guys like me. See I'm not queer I'm too ugly. Doesn't matter what I'm packin' in my denim it's what's in my genes. The only
smoked meat the only sausage I would eat is made by Jimmy Dean. See I'm not to keen on the smell of Vaseline. No I'm not
Princess Di and I don't wanna be a queen. I wish I was queer so I could get chicks. Anyway if I were gay I'd have to change
my name to Dirk or Lewis. Hang out with my mom's hair stylist his name is Kip he's got a lisp he talks like this. And wear my
mother's lingerie learn the songs of Broadway. And appreciate Depeche Mode and avant garde ballet. I wish I was queer so I
could get chicks. Chicks dig guys that are. Queer guys that don't dig. Chicks dig guys that are. Queer guys that don't dig.
Chicks dig guys that are. Queer guys that don't dig. Chicks that don't dig guys like me. See I'm not queer I'm too ugly. And I
don't shave my heiny. Don't shave my heiny. See I'm not queer I'm too ugly.

Why Is Everybody Always Pickin' On Me? Why is everbody always pickin' on me? The morn' that I was born my old man beat up the dotor. He clocked the doctor cause
the doctor said I looked like Chewbacca. The doctor said sir you're misled sir which infers you mistook me. I did not mean
your lovely wife was shackin' up with a wookie. What I mean is Wolverine is less hairy than your son. He's looks like Chewie,
Baba Booey Baba Booey and Hong Kong Phooey all in one. To put it mild your new-born child's completely nutty fu-fu
lookin'. I'd shove him back into the oven until he is done cookin'. But why's everbody always pickin' on me? Cause my fifteen
year-old cousin has less acne. But why's everbody always pickin' on me? Ain't brushed them teeth since 1983. But why's
everbody always pickin' on me? Cause you got the grooming habits of a chimpanzee. But why's everbody always pickin' on
me? Cause you're white but you got a nose like Bill Cosby. Why's everbody always pickin' on me? Always pickin' and rippin'
apart poor ol' Jimmy Pop Ali. I got a schnoz like the 'Cos' but there's a lot more wrong with you. So back me up Bill yea and
you're ugly too. So what if I brush my teeth with a piece of cheddar cheese. Or where a fish net shirt by Chams with my Sergio
Valenti jeans. And my mirror never lies but it always verifies. I got more cheese and pepperoni than a homemade pizza pie. You
compare me to a Monchichi but I don't understand. Why I'm scorned like I'm deformed like the Elephant Man. And yea I took
my mom to the prom but hey she asked me first. But at least this time I didn't find my date in the back of a hearse. About as
popular with the girls with Englebert Humperdink. And that might be 'cause everybody calls me Shrinky Dink. I know I'm
known as Polaroid I'm not a total retard. It's cause I'm done in sixty seconds and you'll still want it enlarged. But why's
everbody always pickin' on me? Cause ya wore velour flares until the late Eighties. But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Cause you run like a girl and sit down to pee. But why's everbody always pickin' on me? Cause your only school chum was the
lunch lady. But why's everbody always pickin' on me? You took your mom to the prom but still got lucky. Like that episode
where Gilligan gets sick of being teased. And he breaks into the Professor's lab and makes some LSD. Peaks freaks and eats
the Skipper's brains then beats Ginger with coconuts. As Mr. Howell and Lovey burn alive inside their grass hut Oh he'll kill
again that Gilligan they he should of let him be. And like a postal clerk I'll go beserk if you don't stop teasing me. See the trick is
only pick on those that can't do you no harm. Like the drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm. The drummer from Def
Leppard's only got one arm. The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm. The drummer from Def Leppard's only got
one arm. The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm. The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm. The
drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm. The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm. The drummer from Def
Leppard's only got one arm. But why's everbody always pickin' on me?. Cause my fifteen year-old cousin has less acne. But
why's everbody always pickin' on me? Ain't brushed them teeth since 1983. But why's everbody always pickin' on me? Cause
you got the grooming habits of a chimpanzee. But why's everbody always pickin' on me? Cause you're white but you got a nose
like Bill Cosby But why's everbody always pickin' on me? Cause ya wore velour flares until the late Eighties. But why's
everbody always pickin' on me? Cause you run like a girl and sit down to pee. But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Cause your only school chum was the lunch lady. But why's everbody always pickin' on me? Cause no one likes you monkey
boy.

It's Tricky This is my recital, I think it's very vital, To rock a rhyme that's right on time it's tricky, tricky, yo here we go. It's tricky to rock a
rhyme, to rock a rhyme that's right on time it's tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky. I met this little girly, her hair was kinda
curly, went to her house and bust her out, I had to leave her early. These girls are really sleazy all they just say is please me, to
rock a rhyme that's right on time I said it's not that easy. . It's tricky to rock a rhyme, to rock a rhyme that's right on time it's
tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky. . It's tricky to rock a rhyme, to rock a rhyme that's right on time it's tricky, tricky,
tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky. In New York the people talk and try to make us rhyme, they really hope but we just walk because
we have no time. And in the city it's a pity 'cause we just can't hide, tinted windows don't mean nothin' they know who's inside.
It's tricky to rock a rhyme, to rock a rhyme that's right on time it's tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky. . It's tricky to rock
a rhyme, to rock a rhyme that's right on time it's tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky. Huh. When I wake up people take
up mostly all of my time, I'm not singin' funky bringing so I make up a rhyme. I'm not bragin' people naggin' 'cause they think I'm
a star, always wearin' what I'm wearin' I think they're going too far. A girl named Tara follows Jared every gig we play, Evil
dissed her then dismissed her now she's jockin' Spanky. I ain't lyin' girls be cryin' 'cause I'm on TV, they even bother my poor
father 'cause he's down with me. It's tricky to rock a rhyme, to rock a rhyme that's right on time it's tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky,
tricky, tricky. . It's tricky to rock a rhyme, to rock a rhyme that's right on time it's tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky. We
are not dumb we don't use drugs, but you can assume on your own, they offer snow and lots of blow, but we just leave it alone.
It's like that y'all yo, 'cause we don't quit keep on rock on 'cause this is it.

Asleep At The Wheel Bloodhounds shall cruise rendevous. Break curfew new trip ensues. You never know Bloodhounds just go. Pack backpack up
for down the road. No change of clothes but change for tolls. pack of No-Doz Rolos and Skoal. Old Milwaukee Jolt black
coffee. Sugar Daddy Rand McNally. A pack of jacks those orange Tic-Tacs. Glen Miller tracks roll of Kodak.. The phantom
black stacked Pontiac. Hot rod dual quads and in the back. Is the beat keeper big ass speaker. Jumbo woofer rattle tweeter.
Dial is turned and there it's stayin'. The next day where Stern is playin'. You got your Jesus on the dashbord but the devil's
under my hood. You're taking it down legal I'm pullin' it up to no good. God is your co-pilot I let Satan ride shotgun. You pay a
toll to get to heaven but on the road to hell there's none. Get up you're asleep at the wheel. I-95 eight lanes wide. Midnight drive
take a ride. Alongside east coast tide. Getting high so am I. Bloodshot red eyes from the fumes. I consume engine zoom then
engine boom. Then enging glow erupt and blow.. And overflow like volcano. So far to go can't turn back though. Cheap
tobacco cup of black Joe. Fuelin' my body jumstartin' my soul. Set my mind on cruise control. You got your Jesus on the
dashbord but the devil's under my hood. You're taking it down legal I'm pullin' it up to no good. God is your co-pilot I let Satan
ride shotgun. You pay a toll to get to heaven but on the road to hell there's none. Get up you're asleep at the wheel. 24-7 Truck
Stop Plaza. Turn off headlights turn on hazards. 3 A.M. is when I gazed. Eyes glazed I'm dazed and then I fade. To black now
were back. 'On The Road' like Kerouac. Down the turnpike high rate of speed. Up all night like Gilbert Gottfried. You got your
Jesus on the dashbord but the devil's under my hood. You're taking it down legal I'm pullin' it up to no good. God is your
co-pilot I let Satan ride shotgun. You pay a toll to get to heaven but on the road to hell there's none. Get up you're asleep at the
wheel.

Shut Up I'm Jimmy Pop here in a jiffy heat me up and add oil. I'm like a zit a wart a corn a cyst a festering boil. I get under your skin and
I sebaceously form. I'm as deep as the plot to an amateur gay porn. Keep ya hungry for more like Bangladesh. Then I'll borg di
borg do borg ya like the Swedish Chef. Cause I'm one of a kind and kind of hard to find. Kind of like an Injun without his fire
water wine. I'm like Schneider one day at a time. I'm feeling like Bob Vila nailing up your behind. To my wall like Daniel-son
does. I'm waxing on I'm waxing off I'm waxing just because. I get wired like a Western Union and I got to be me. And I got
more balls than the daily lottery. Like hemorrhoidal itch yo you can't ignore me. Cause I'm more tongue and cheek than a lesbo
orgy. And I don't give a damn if you don't like me. Cause' I don't like you cause you're not like me. Second verse is different
from the first. I'm Jimmy Pop I am. Jimmity Jimmity Pop I am I am. See my name's not Hoover and I don't give a damn. And I
got a different angle like a parellelogram. And you'll be all ears like a field of corn. I'll make you Dizzy like Gillespie as I toot my
own horn. Like a No. 2 pencil I always got a point. You'll want to share it with friends like a poorly rolled joint. I'm Jimmy Pop
y'all I'm Jimmy Pop y'all I'm an Alka Seltzer that's right you're a seagull. As I continue to expand your head is gonna burst.
Leave a bad taste in your mouth like moldy Liverwurst. Like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre I'll get in your face. But then I'll
brush you off like Aqua-Fresh toothpaste. Cause I'm letting off steam like a Chinese Laundromat. But I'm not a roll of Charmin
so don't give me no crap. And I don't give a damn if you don't like me. Cause' I don't like you cause you're not like me. I hate a
lot of whites and I hate a lot of blacks. I hate poopin' in public places but we all hate that. I hate lesbian feminists because
they're all so damn ugly. I hate Spin Magazine cause they never ever plug me. I hate Regis and Kathie Lee. I hate every single
movie by that midget Spike Lee. I hate people that think I care what they think. I hate people that think their ass don't stink. I
hate Jon Bon Jovi but I hate his music more. I hate killing people because I hate to keep score. I hate to be honest but I'd hate
to be you. And I don't give a damn if you don't like me. Cause' I don't like you cause you're not like me.

You're Only Friends Are Make Believe Yea well I sing like an amputee though. Why? Cause can't hold a note can't cary a tune. (Lupus proceeds to laugh a little too
hard at Jimmy Pop's stupid joke) Knock knock Mr. Rogers it's Mr. McFeelie. I've brought you a letter speedy delivery. Well
Mr. McFeelie if there's postage due. You can go fuck yourself like Captain Kangaroo. I can go to land of make believe and I
can pretend. But in the end I still have no friends. Do do do do do do do do do. Do do do do do do do do do. Mr. Rogers I
like your cardigan sweater. Mr. McFeelie shut up and give me my letter. I don't want to talk to you don't you understand? Why
are you inside my house you're just my fuckin' mailman? I can go to land of make believe and I can pretend. But in the end I still
have no friends.. Do do do do do do do do do. Do do do do do do do do do. You can go to land of make believe and you
can pretend. But in the end you still have no friends. Do do do do do do do do do. Do do do do do do do do do. You are my
best friend too. I share the same views and hardly ever argue. Eat Spam from the can watch late night C-Span. And rock out to
old school Duran Duran. Your best friend is you I'm my best friend too. I share the same views and hardly ever argue. Eat
Spam from the can watch late night C-Span. And rock out to old school Duran Duran.

Boom Yo Bloodhound Gang and Rob Van Winkle together on this track. Stop as we drop this bomb. Blow up this place like another
Vietnam. Heavy like a Tyson blow to the dome. Back up son give me room give me room. To set it off like this don't give it up.
I'm all up in you till you just can't get enough. Real hard to the bone you want more. I sneak up on you like a sniper at your
back door. Phat flavor for your brain you know the time. So check the wrath it's for real I'm gonna get mine. Roll up on you like
Eastwood. Blowing up fifteens as I'm riding through your neighborhood. I spreads butter like Parkay. Real smooth with flow
and even when I parlay. Do what you feel and check the skill. I'm in your grill peep this I got the raw deal. I'm in your Jeep
Grand Cherokee or Land Cruiser. When you're rolling through the hood you want to use a. Track like this all up in your
eardrum. So check the E.Q. and let them speakers hum. And gets crazy like Prozac. Hype enough to start a party and illy as a
heart attack. Round one round two knockout. Straight to your head my round never lights out. Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom
dee. Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom dee a. Jimmy Jimmy y'all Jimmy damn Jimmy yea. Gimme the mic Rob so I can take it away.
Got more lines than the welfare office. Are you upset you'll never get to be as clever as this? Spreadin' quicker than your mom
have a feel but don't cop it. Yea I stole your beat but that's cause you dropped it. Crude as oil unrefined but slick. I'm gonna get
you from behind like a gay convict. Cause my name ain't Quasimodo but I still got a hunch. That like the Jim Jones cult I'll take
you out with one punch. You're Spiro Agnew and I'm the Dick you answer to. You're sweating like a watermelon at a Baptist
bar-b-cue. Sneaking up like celery yeah I'm stalking. I squeak like Stephen Hawkings yeah but I'm walkin'. Nose to ground so
this Bloodhound will sniff and follow it. I hope you choke on your pride when I make you swallow it. Screaming like a Mimi
when you see me coming near you. Like a Kenny Loggins' record no one's ever gonna to hear you. Like a game of hide and
seek it's all over if I see ya. Cause your yellower than tinkle and you'll be running like diarrhea. Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom
dee. Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom dee a.

Going Nowhere Slow Got the mike in my hand but can I make you understand. That a-hole bands have a-hole fans. Bloodhound's the name and the
Gang's to blame. Like Chan n' Chin the Siamese twins it's one in the same. So fame ain't gonna live forever. Never worrying
about dying cause it can't be any better. But whatever happens to happen always happens for the worst. And if the worst is yet
to happen I hope it happens to you first. So hello Joe what do you know?. Heard ya just got back from a Bloodhound show.
Did you do the Batussi or did you do the Hustle?. Did you do the Flamin' Waffle or the Super Bowl Shuffle?. No matter what
you did you're gonna be amused. If you were not entertained you did not drink enough booze. If ya get your eyes a'fuzzin' then
we'll get your ears a'buzzin'. Cause we play around the world you play around with your cousin. Bloodhound boys. Bloodhound
girls. Bloodhound noise. Bloodhound world. Rock on rock on do it dusk til' dawn. Anywhere we go everywhere we've gone.
Don't matter what town what state what show. Hell-bound Bloodhound going nowhere slow. We rock Philadelphia Baltimore
Las Vegas Indianapolis. Louisville Atlanta New Orleans and Minneapolis. Houston Tucson Phoenix Buffalo. Tulsa Mobile
Albuquerque Wichita and Orlando. Portland Salt Lake City Memphis Washington D.C. Charlotte Oklahoma City Little Rock
and Milwuakee. Cleveland Tampa Norfolk Dallas Raleigh Hartford Cincinatti. Boston Nashville Kansas City Chattanooga and
Miami. Honolulu Richmond Austin Pittsburgh San Antonio. Baton Rouge and Anchorage and Birmingham and Toledo. Denver
Detroit Dayton Spokane Fresno. And Jacksonville Colombus Springfield New York Sacramento. Los Angeles St. Paul St.
Louis San Francisco. Madison Knoxville Seattle San Jose and San Diego. Jackson Omaha Des Moines Boise Providence
Chicago. But no where in New Jersey that's the only place we won't go. Bloodhound boys. Bloodhound girls. Bloodhound
noise. Bloodhound world. Rock on rock on do it dusk til' dawn. Anywhere we go everywhere we've gone. Don't matter what
town what state what show. Hell-bound Bloodhound going nowhere slow.

Use Your Fingers

We Are The Knuckleheads WHO'S THE KNUCKLEHEADS? WE ARE THE KNUCKLEHEADS. WHO'S THE KNUCKLEHEADS? WE ARE
    THE KNUCKLEHEADS. WHO'S THE KNUCKLEHEADS? WE ARE THE KNUCKLEHEADS. WHO'S THE
    KNUCKLEHEADS? WE'RE THE KNUCKLEHEADS. IF YOU WOULD BE THE PEANUT BUTTER THEN I
   WOULD PLAY THE JELLY. I'LL PEEL APART YOUR BREAD AND THEN I'LL PENETRATE YOUR BELLY.
    YOUR BLOOD STAINS MIGHTY BAD I WASH IT OFF WITH COAST. NOW I'LL TAKE MY JELLY AND
   SPREAD IT ON YOUR TOAST. NO ONE RHYMES FASTER THE MIC IS MY BLASTER. SO GRASP SOME
SHASTA THE MIGHTY MIC MASTER. GIVING YA COMMUNION WITH YOUR LIPS ON MY CUP. NOW IF
YOU'RE THE WATERBOY THEN I'M THE HEAVYWEIGHT CONTENDER. I'M GONNA MIX YOU ALL UP LIKE
A BLACK AND DECKER BLENDER. IF YOU WOULD BE THE TELSTAR THEN I'D HAVE TO BE DEFENDER.
I'LL BE OUT IN JUST FOUR WEEKS I WAS A FIRST OFFENDER. YOUR A DUMB ASS STUPID VERA AND I'M
THE ONE THAT FLO CALLS MEL. PUTTIN' HOLES RIGHT THROUGH YOUR BODY LIKE HARVEY KEITEL.
YOU'RE A BROKEN DOWN BIG WHEEL I'M A BANANA-SEATED SCHWINN. TAKE THE BUTT OF YOUR
GUN AND SMASH THEIR NOSE IN. I'M A LEGO-EGGO MANIAC I'M STICKIER THAN SOME FUN TACK.
   TRIP TO THE STORE AND GET ANOTHER SIX PACK. BOMB DROPPING LIKE AT GROUND ZERO . LIKE
   COLONEL KLINK IS GETTING FUCKED BY HOGAN'S HEROES. EENIE MEANIE MINEY MO YOU TOOK
YOUR SHOT YOU MISSED. I WASN'T A GOOD BOY THIS YEAR I'M NOT ON SANTA'S LIST. I GAVE YOUR
   GIRL SOME SAUSAGE AND THAN I SLIT YOUR WRISTS. NOW I'M TAKING YOUR ASS OUT LIKE MY
NAME WAS BURGEOUS MEREDITH. WHO'S THE KNUCKLEHEADS? WE ARE THE KNUCKLEHEADS. WHO'S
    THE KNUCKLEHEADS? WE ARE THE KNUCKLEHEADS. WHO'S THE KNUCKLEHEADS? WE ARE THE
KNUCKLEHEADS. WHO'S THE KNUCKLEHEADS? WE'RE THE KNUCKLEHEADS. FAST FAST QUICK BIC
LIKE ASS WHEN YA PASS GAS. YOU THREW IT LIKE A GIRL THAT'S WHY YOU GOT PICKED LAST. AND
MR. EASY DOES IT NEVER DID IT NOW DID HE. JESUS IS COMING SO LOOK BUSY. AND YOU AND YOUR
   CHUMPS ARE GONNA GET YOUR LUMPS. I GOT THE GOOSE THAT LAID THE GOLDEN EGG YOU GOT
GOOSE BUMPS. CAUSE I'M BLACK Y'ALL, IT'S A FACT Y'ALL. AND IF YOU TRY TO TAKE WHAT'S MINE
I'LL TAKE IT BACK Y'ALL. I WISH ALL SKINHEADS SMELLED LIKE MR. CLEAN. AND THAT GIRL FROM
JERSEY REALLY WAS NINETEEN. CAUSE THE WHOLE DAMN WORLD WOULD BE PEACHY KEEN. WITH
RIP TAYLOR ON THE COVER OF EVERY MAGAZINE SO GO . RIP RIP RIP TAYLOR . RIP RIP RIP TAYLOR.
RIP TAYLOR RIP TAYLOR. YOUR GIRLFRIEND WE NAILED HER. MY MOM'S GOT OPPOSABLE THUMBS.
YOUR MOM'S WEEZIE JEFFERSON. I'D RATHER EAT FRESH HEINY CHOW. AND I AIN'T CRAZY ABOUT NO
GOD DAMN BUTTHOLE NO HOW. BATTER ROLL AND WHIP YA LIKE A FUCKEN' KANOLI. IF SATAN HAD
A HOCKEY TEAM THENI'D BE THE GOALIE. CAUSE WE'RE DUMBER THAN DRIFTWOOD DUMBER THAN
YOUR MAMA. DUMBER THAN A SUPERMODEL DUMBER THAN KWANZA. WHO'S THE KNUCKLEHEADS?
WE ARE THE KNUCKLEHEADS. WHO'S THE KNUCKLEHEADS? WE ARE THE KNUCKLEHEADS. WHO'S
    THE KNUCKLEHEADS? WE ARE THE KNUCKLEHEADS. WHO'S THE KNUCKLEHEADS? WE'RE THE
                                        KNUCKLEHEADS.

Legend In My Spare Time ASHES TO ASHES AND FUNKS TO FUNKY. DADDY LONG LEGS IS A MEAN ASS HONKY. AND JIMMY POP
AIN'T NO HEINY HOBBIT GAYBE. AIN'T NO BIG MEATY CHUNKS IN MY THICK BROWN GRAVY. CAUSE
I'M THE LOCH NESS THE LOCH NESS THE LOCH NESS MONSTER. JERRY'S KIDS ARE KNOCKIN' AT MY
DOOR, "COULD YOU BE A SPONSOR?". TINY BUBBLES IN MY TUB PULL MY FINGER LAWRENCE WELK.
IF YOU WANNA LOOK LIKE ROCKY DENNIS BETTER DRINK YOUR MILK. WHEN I'M FEELING ORIENTAL
I GOTTA RUB MY CHIN. GONNA HOLD MY WATER IN LIKE I'M GUNGA DIN. SO HAVE A TASTE OF MY
   BASS CAUSE THE GIRLIES GOT SMILES. YOU GET ON MY CASE LIKE THE ROCKFORD FILES. CRAZY
EDDIE IN THE SLAMMER CAUSE HE'S GIVING IT ALL AWAY. JOHN BOY IN THE BARN WITH A HORSE IN
THE HAY. NO RHYME NO REASON NO JOB NO CLASS. AND WE DON'T GO NEAR THE GHETTO CAUSE
THEY'D SHOOT OUR ASS. GO GO YEAH YEAH HUH WHAT? I'M A LEGEND IN MY SPARE TIME. IF YOU
   AIN'T EVER BEEN TO THE SUBURBS. DON'T EVER COME TO THE SUBURBS. CAUSE YOU WOULDN'T
UNDERSTAND THE SUBURBS. CAUSE I'M A HUSKIN' A HUSKIN' A HUSKIN' YOUR CORN. I'M AS DEEP AS
   THE PLOT TO A GAY PORN. SO UH-OH SPAGHETTIOS I FORGOT TO HIDE AWAY THE BODY. I KNOW
   THAT SHE'S A HOTTY BUT DAMN THAT GIRL COULD PARTY. SO COME TO ME MOMMA IT AIN'T NO
CRIME. I'M THE SKILLED LOVE DOCTOR GROWLIN', "WHAT'S YOUR SIGN?" I DID THE FLAMIN' WAFFLE
WITH HO CHI MIN. YOUR GIRL'S A DOLLAR BILL WE DON'T KNOW WHERE SHE'S BEEN. J.F.K.'S HEAD IS
    A PUZZLE AND YOUR WOMAN NEEDS A MUZZLE. BARBARA EDEN IN THE BOTTLE AND NOW I'M
GONNA GUZZLE. YOU'RE TOO WHAT? SHY SHY HUH WHAT? HUSH HUSH YEA? I KNEW WHY. CAUSE
WE'RE PLAYING THE PALLADIUM YOU CAN'T GET ON STAR SEARCH. DADDY LEGS STANDING TALL HE
   CAN DO THE FUNKY LURCH. AND JIMMY JIMMY POP IS SHORT FOR JIMMY JIMMY POPULAR. YOU
   KNOW I KNOW YOU KNOW YOUR NOT THE TOUGH GUY THAT YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE. GO GO
YEAH YEAH HUH WHAT? I'M A LEGEND IN MY SPARE TIME. CAUSE I WOPBOBALOOBOP. HA CHA CHA
CHATCH. COME LICK MY BALLS. VIVE LA MY CROTCH. CAUSE YOUR DADDY THINKS I'M LAZY YOUR
MOMMA THINKS I'M CRAZY. BUT NEITHER OF THEM KNOW THAT YOU ARE CARRYING MY BABY. AND
I'M THE AMOS I'M THE ANDY I'M THE STICKY AUNT JEMAMMY. I GAVE YOU MOUTH TO MOUTH LIKE
   RESUSCITATION ANNIE. IT TAKES TWO OF US TO DO THIS LIKE DEAN MARTIN JERRY LEWIS. AND
YOUR THROAT IS SWOLLEN GLORYHOLEN' YA BLEW US. GEORGE BURNS' PACEMAKER BEATS STEADY
SLOW AND LOW. THAT'S WHY WE GOT MORE HITS THEN A DEALER AT A DEAD SHOW . GO GO YEAH
                        YEAH HUH WHAT? I'M A LEGEND IN MY SPARE TIME.

Mama Say IT GOES ONE TWO THREE WHEN I'M KICKING FUNKY LYRICS. I'M BUSTING UP VOCABULARY I WANT
YOU ALL TO HEAR IT. I'M BUSTING UP THE RHYTHM AND I'M BUSTING UP THE RHYME. KICKING DOWN
THE STOP POSTS CAUSE I WANNA KICKS THE TIME. I'M PULLING DOWN YOUR PANTIES CAUSE I WANT
TO GET INSIDE 'EM. LIKE A BOA A BOA A BOA CONSTRICTOR. GONNA DROP OFF YOUR DRAWERS
SHOOT STRAIGHT FOR YOUR SPHINCTER. I COULD ROLL MY RHYMES BUT I WOULD BE FAKING. JIMMY
JIMMY POP IS NOT JAMAICAN. J I DOUBLE M Y POP GO. I RUN THE SHOW LIKE DON PARDO. WITH A
BUGALOO BEE ON THE BEBOO TIP. MY HIT WILL MAKE YOU TRIP CAUSE I'M QUADRADIPPED. I'LL DO
THE POPEYE PLUTO I'LL FREAK THE FUNKFAZOOTO. NOT LATINO WHAT I MEAN THOUGH FUZZY DICE
LIKE MENUDO. RUBBER BABY BUGGY'S BUMPERS. PUNKY'S BREWSTERS NOW I HUMP HER. WITH MY
ITSY BITSY TEENY WEENIE SHRUNKEN SMALL WHITE PEENIE. SO RINSE SPIT SWALLOW BRAIN BLANK
KINDA HOLLOW. NOT TO DEEP LEAP WOW OH KINDA SHALLOW. CAUSE WE'RE IN YOUR FACE LIKE ED
GEIN. PURPLE RAIN PURPLE RAIN. MAMA SAY MAMA SA MAMA CU SA. MAMA SAY MAMA SA MAMA
CU SA. NAUGHTY BY NATURE AND WHITE BY CHOICE. AND THE SOUND OF MY VOICE MAKES YOUR
PANTIES MOIST. CAUSE I'M FINGER LICKIN¹ HAPPY LIKE A GAY PROCTOLOGIST. SO LIKE A DYKE WITH
HOLLOW TITS I'LL RIP THE MIKE WITH HOLLOW TIPS. YEAH HE'S IN CONTROL LIKE SHERMAN POTTER.
AND I GOT MORE BALLS THEN THE HARLEM GLOBETROTTERS. JIMMY POP JIMMY POP RAH RAH RAH.
MAMA SAY MAMA SA MAMA CU SA. SO NOW I'M FLOATING OUT THE PIPES LIKE A VILLAGE PEOPLE
SUMP PUMP. ALWAYS TAKE A SWALLOW CAUSE YOU KNOW I NEVER GET ENOUGH. SO BATTER UP
BRUCE BANNER IF YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING MEASURE UP. CAN'T BE THE TOP DOG GOTTA BE THE
SCOOBY PUP. STEP TO THE BASS DRUM ALWAYS GOTTA HAVE FUN. IF YOU ADD TWO HALVES YOU'LL
ALWAYS GET THE TOTAL SUM. MY STEPS ARE CORRECT AND MY MIKE IS ALWAYS CHECKED. AND
WHEN A PUNK IS IN EFFECT YOU KNOW HE'S GONNA GET WRECKED. I DON'T WANT TO START NO
BLASPHEMOUS RUMORS. BUT I THINK THAT SINBAD'S GOT A LOUSY SENSE OF HUMOR. LITTLE
CHILDREN UNATTENDED BETTER GET MY POISON CANDY. DON'T CARE ABOUT Y'ALL AS LONG AS WE
FEEL DANDY. AND I GET THE POON FROM JUDY BLUME. MR HOOPERS DEAD SO WON'T YOU GIVE ME
HIS BROOM. SO COME ON CHICKEY BABY LET'S GO MAKE SOME NOISE. WHAT? NO I'M NOT THE GUY
FROM THE BEASTIE BOYS. MAMA SAY MAMA SA MAMA CU SA. MAMA SAY MAMA SA MAMA CU SA.

You're Pretty When I'm Drunk ONE NIGHT ME AND THE CREW HIT THE ROAD ON A MISSION. TO SLURP FREE BREW AND GO FUZZY
   FLOUNDER FISHIN'. KAYJEES ON THE HI-FI AND THE KEG WAS BOTTOMLESS. UNTIL WE BROUGHT
     SKIP O' POT2MUS. AND DADDY'S GONNA GET SOME PROBABLY UNDERAGE AND DUMB. AND
EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT THE DADDY EATS HIS YOUNG. LUPUS IN THE LAVATORY MAKING A BIG
STINK. MACING UP THE TOILET SEAT AND POOPING IN THE SINK. M.S.G.¹S TANKED UP AND WIZZIN' IN
   A CUP. WAITING FOR A SPRINKLE GENIE TO COME AND DRINK IT UP. CAUSE I'M THE ONE BOTTLE
WILLY WITH THE 12 HORSE ALE. AFTER THAT I GET SILLY LIKE SOUPY SALES. NOW IT'S MIDNIGHT AND
I'M COMPLETELY BOOFY BLITZED. A SIX OF SHLITZ AND THE JEW BREW MANISCHEWITZ. WITH MY
   BEER-TINTED GLASSES I'M READY TO BITTY BATTLE. I'M HUNGRY LIKE THE WOLF BUT I'LL END UP
   TENDING CATTLE. CAUSE YOU'RE PRETTY WHEN I'M DRUNK. (YOU'RE PRETTY WHEN I'M DRUNK).
   YOU'RE PRETTY WHEN I'M DRUNK. (YOU'RE PRETTY WHEN I'M DRUNK). YOU'RE PRETTY WHEN I'M
   DRUNK. (YOU'RE PRETTY WHEN I'M DRUNK). YOU'RE PRETTY WHEN I'M DRUNK. (AND I'M PRETTY
FUCKIN' DRUNK). HERE SHE COMES, A FUNKY FRIED CUTIE. MR. JIMMY POP ALI IS GONNA GET SOME
BOOTY. CAUSE I'M MR. MCFEELIE WITH A SPEEDY DELIVERY. YOU'D THINK I WAS A DITCH THE WAY
THIS CHICK WAS DIGGIN' ME. BUT MAYBE I SHOULD CHECK AND SEE IF THIS IS WHERE I WANNA BE.
HEY LUPUS IS SHE CUTE? YEA FOR A PYGMIE. AW! WHAT DO YOU KNOW? YOU'RE PROBABLY GOING
HOME ALONE. AND IT WOULDN'T BE THE FIRST TIME THAT I GAVE A DOG A BONE. PLUS BEAUTY, IT'S
    ONLY SKIN DEEP. IT'S IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER AND MY BEHOLDER'S ABOUT TO TWEAK. I
     COULD TAP THAT BARREL, IN FACT I KNOW I CAN. IT'S A MÉNAGÉ A TROIS YOU AND ME AND
   HEINEKEN. CAUSE YOU'RE PRETTY WHEN I'M DRUNK. (YOU'RE PRETTY WHEN I'M DRUNK). YOU'RE
   PRETTY WHEN I'M DRUNK. (YOU'RE PRETTY WHEN I'M DRUNK). YOU'RE PRETTY WHEN I'M DRUNK.
   (YOU'RE PRETTY WHEN I'M DRUNK). YOU'RE PRETTY WHEN I'M DRUNK. (AND I'M PRETTY FUCKIN'
DRUNK). REGRETS I'VE HAD A FEW. FIRST AND FOREMOST I'D LIKE TO MENTION YOU. FOR THE SAKE
OF CONVERSATION WE'LL CALL YOU THE BRAND NEW HEAVY. YOUR A MIX BETWEEN AN UGNAUT
     AND EUGENE LEVY. YOUR BUDDHA YOUR SHAMU YOUR JABBA THE FUCKIN' HUTT. YOU HAD
    HARPOON SCARS AND YOUR BOOBIES WERE HAIRY. I SMELT TUNA MELT BUT I WASN¹T GONNA
WORRY. IT WAS 3 A.M. AND I WASN'T GETTIN' SQUAT. SO I ROLLED YOU UP IN FLOUR AND AIMED IT
   FOR THE WET SPOT. I WAS BUTTERING ROLLS LIKE A SOUP KITCHEN CHRISTIAN. THEN IT HIT ME
    SOMETHING BIT ME WHILE MY LITTLE ROD WAS FISHIN'. I WAS DEEP SEA FISHING I TOOK A FAT
CHANCE. BUT HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT JABBERJAWS LIVED IN YOUR PANTS . AT THAT
JUNCTION I CAME TO REALIZE. THAT ONLY FRANK PURDUE LIKES THIGHS THAT SIZE. FATTY FATTY
BOOM BA LATTY I GOTTA LAMENT. THAT YOU WERE NOT A GIRL YOU WERE AN EXPERIMENT. CAUSE
   YOU'RE PRETTY WHEN I'M DRUNK. (YOU'RE PRETTY WHEN I'M DRUNK). YOU'RE PRETTY WHEN I'M
   DRUNK. (YOU'RE PRETTY WHEN I'M DRUNK). YOU'RE PRETTY WHEN I'M DRUNK. (YOU'RE PRETTY
      WHEN I'M DRUNK). YOU'RE PRETTY WHEN I'M DRUNK. (AND I'M PRETTY FUCKIN' DRUNK).

One Way     JIMMY POP'S NOT POOPER NOT A PAUPER BUT A POPPER. AND I GOT MORE POP THAN ORVILLE
   REDENBACHER. I GOTS MORE GRAVY THAN THE WHOLE GRAVY TRAIN . WHEN I'M KOOKY GOING
   LOOPY LIKE A MAN INSANE. I WON'T BE AROUND WHEN THE WORLD ENDS. SO THE ONLY THING
THAT I RECYCLE IS YOUR GIRLFRIEND. AWW BACK TO THE SIDE I JUMP UP I SWING. WHEN I'M USING
KNOCKEM' SOCKEM' YA KNOW I'M PLAYING IT TO WIN. THE NINA THE PINTA THE SANTA MARIA. SEE
YOU LATER SALAMANDER CAUSE I WOULDN'T WANT TO BE YA. I'M A CHIP I'M AN PRINGLE CAUSE
YOU KNOW I GOTS THE FLAVOR. POP ME UP IN YOUR MOUTH LIKE I WAS A LIFE SAVER. I AIN'T GOT
     NO SOUL BUT I GOT MORE THAN DON HENLEY. I'M WHITER THAN CASPER BUT I'M NOT THAT
FRIENDLY. MARCO POLO YOU TRIED TO FLY SOLO. MAKE YOUR THOUGHTS VOCAL I'LL PUT YA IN A
   CHOKE HOLD. ONE WAY OR ANOTHER I'M GONNA FIND YA I'M GONNA GETCHA GETCHA GETCHA
     GETCHA. ONE WAY OR ANOTHER I'M GONNA FIND YA I'M GONNA GETCHA I'LL GETCHA. I'M A
GANGSTER NO I'M A GANGSTER BITCH. YOUR MOMMA GAVE ME HEAD YO UR GIRLIE GAVE ME THE
ITCH. SCRATCH IT BACK THE BASS BEATS FAST LISTEN TO THE SHOTGUN BLAST. IN THE OVEN YOU'LL
    GET BURNED OR IN THE TANK THAT YOU'LL GET GASSED. FAKE-O LIKE BACOS NEVER MISTAKE
THOUGH. SHOWING UP PAINTED UP FRESH FROM MACCO. COMING IN ON STEREO ROUNDER THAN A
CHEERIO. QUICK TO FILL YOUR FIX AND I'M DIZZIER THAN A MERRY-GO. ROCK THIS OBNOXIOUS I'M
TRULY NOT NICE. CAUSE I'M BLOOD SUCKING EVIL LIKE MUPPETS ON ICE. ARRIBA ARRIBA I'M THE
   UNDER ACHIEVER. GONNA LEAVE IT TO BEAVER I'M THE DAYDREAM BELIEVER. I'M LIKE MOTHRA
MAN WITH MY BIG WINGSPAN. AND YOUR THE MOTHER FUCKING JAP THAT KILLED MY OFFSPRING
CHAN. I'M A MENACE TO SOCIETY GONNA FILL THE PROPHECY. FIRST I'LL DRINK YOUR GENESEE AND
   THEN I'LL TAKE YOUR LIBERTY. ONE WAY OR ANOTHER I'M GONNA FIND YA I'M GONNA GETCHA
   GETCHA GETCHA GETCHA. ONE WAY OR ANOTHER I'M GONNA FIND YA I'M GONNA GETCHA I'LL
   GETCHA. I'M A TARANTULA IN YOUR CHIQUITA. AND WHEN YOU'RE PEELING BACK THE SKIN I'M
GONNA SEE YA. I'M GONNA BITE YA I'M GONNA BITE YA. I'M JIMMY POP I'LL TELL YOU STRAIGHT UP I
   DON'T LIKE YOU. CAUSE I'M COLD KICKING LYRICS TILL THE DAY I DIE. MANY FAIL TO COPY AT
LEAST THEY STILL TRY. BUSTING UP VOCABULARY IS WHAT I DO MOST. I'M GONNA SPREAD YOUR
     LEGS LIKE BUTTER AND GOBBLE YA UP LIKE TOAST. YOU WENT FOR THE CHERRY YOU WENT
    BOBBING FOR THE APPLE. BUT THE APPLE IT BE ROTTEN AND YOU HAD TO EAT THE SCRAPPPLE.
   SCRAPPLE? PIG MEAT FROM A PIG PEN HOG LEFTOVERS YOUR GIRLFRIEND. FLEX TO THE EFFECTS
AND I DON'T CARE WHAT NOBODY THINKS. EATING ALL YOU SHERBERT AND DROPPING ALL YOUR
TIDDILEY WINKS. WHOOPS GOES MY ARM I THINK IT'S OUTTA SOCKET. COME OVER LITTLE GIRLIE I
GOT SOME CANDY IN MY POCKET. ONE WAY OR ANOTHER I'M GONNA FIND YA I'M GONNA GETCHA
   GETCHA GETCHA GETCHA. ONE WAY OR ANOTHER I'M GONNA FIND YA I'M GONNA GETCHA I'LL
                                            GETCHA.

Go Down STEP BACK CAUSE THE BASS IS FUZZIN'. BLOODHOUND GANG BANGS MORE THAN THE DIRTY DOZEN.
ALLEY OOP HERE COMES THE SLAM YOU KNOW WHERE I STAND. I'M FEELIN' LIKE ANTHRAX CAUSE
YOU KNOW I'M THE MAN. YEA I DUG YOUR DAME BUT ALL I DID WAS KISS HER. BUT I GOT TO SECOND
BASE WITH YOUR MOM AND YOUR SISTER. I'LL WIPE THE GRIN OFF YOUR FACE LIKE I WAS A CAN OF
WINDEX. I THREW A RIGHT I THREW A RIGHT WAS IT LIVE OR MEMOREX. GO DOWN DOWN DEEP DEEP
IN AND OUT QUICK. CAUSE I'M HARDER THAN CHINESE ARITHMETIC. MY FIST IS IN YOUR FACE CAUSE
YOU STOOD IN MY WAY. YOU TRIED TO TALK YOUR SHIT AND YOUR ASS GOT PAID. I GET STUPID LIKE
THE MONGOLOID CORKY. WELCOME TO MCDONALD'S MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER. CAUSE I'M COLD
KICKEN' LYRICS LIKE MY ARM WAS ON FIRE. LIKE PINNOCHIO MY NOSE DON'T GROW CAUSE I AIN'T
NO LIAR. GO DOWN GO DOWN TO GET IT UP GET IT UP. GO DOWN GO DOWN TO GET IT UP Y'ALL. CLAP
    IT ON CLAP IT OFF SNIFF MY EXHAUST. CAUSE I GOT MORE STEPS THAN BARISHNIKOV. LIKE A
PIROUETTE, A PIROUETTE, A PAIR OF WET JEANS. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND BUT YOUR GIRL KNOWS
WHAT I MEAN. SO I KICKS MY RHYMES KIND OF COMPLEX. A TEXT OF INTRICATE WORDS AND OTHER
SPOKEN EFFECTS. LIKE A PREACHER ON THE MOUNT TEACHING THINGS HE DOESN'T FOLLOW. WHEN
YOU TRIED TO HIT THE BRAKE BUT PUSHED ON THE THROTTLE. MR. GOODY TWO SHOES PICTURE THE
SCENARIO. YOUR GIRL BLEW ME AS I BLEW YOUR STEREO. AND I GOTS MORE BASS THAN A BASEBALL
DIAMOND. DON'T PUT ME ON YOUR CHALKBOARD CAUSE I'M NOT DOWN WITH SIMON. SONIC BOOM
    IN YOUR ROOM ASSUME YOUR NOT THERE. BOOTY LICKEN' NUGGET PICKEN' WITH YOUR DAD
DOWNSTAIRS. LOVE IS JUST A FALLACY I GOTS MORE FORCE THAN GRAVITY. I CAN RUN ALL NIGHT
LIKE AN ENERGIZER BATTERY. GO DOWN GO DOWN TO GET IT UP GET IT UP. GO DOWN GO DOWN TO
                                        GET IT UP Y'ALL.

No Rest For The Wicked I GET BOMBED MUCH LIKE PEARL HARBOR. THE PRICE IS WHITE RIGHT AND I'M BOB BARKER. THIS IS
YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS. THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON JACKIE ONASSIS. ALL YOU CROTCH GOBLINS CAN
KISS OUR ASSES. YES SIREE BOB LIKE CORN ON THE COB. I'M ALL BUTTERED UP READY TO HOB NOB.
DADDY IS A KRAUT YOUR NAZI-OCCUPIED FRANCE. I'M GONNA RISE TO THE OCCASION INSIDE MY
PANTS. SO YO ASS YEA YOU I WANT TO FRAGGLE ROCK YOUR GIRLIE. COMING AROUND THE PARTY
    COMING AROUND LIKE MR. FURLEY. I'M MR. FURLEY YOU'RE JACK TRIPPER. YOU'RE DUMB ASS
GILLIGAN AND I'M THE SKIPPER. TIPTOE THROUGH MY TULIPS AND COME AND FROLIC. CAUSE MY
NAME IS BETTY FORD AND SHE'S AN ALCOHOLIC. SO HERE I AM ROCK ME LIKE A HURRICANE. NOT A
SCORPION BUT MY STING WILL BRING YOUR DAME A LOT OF PAIN. AND DADDY¹S GONNA TELL YA
    I¹M AS COOL AS JACK THE RIPPER. SOMEWHAT OF A CUT-THROAT BUT STILL A BIG TIPPER. AS I
TICKLE YOU PINK I BET MY FINGERS START TO STINK. I'M WHAT'S MISSING FROM YOUR LIFE AND
YOU'RE THE MISSING LINK. IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW YOU WIN OR LOSE IT'S HOW YOU LICK IT.... NO
   REST FOR THE WICKED. GET DOWN DRINK IT UP BRING IT ON TAKE IT OFF. FLIPS IT UP IN THE AIR
    LIKE MY NAME WAS BOB BARKER. I ALWAYS KICKS IT COLD SO I GOTTA WEAR MY PARKA. I'M
LEAVING DOWN MY MARKER I'M STALKING LIKE A STALKER. USING THE FORCE LIKE MY NAME WAS
LUKE SKYWALKER. LEFT HAND¹S ON THE WHEEL AND THE RIGHT ONE ON THE BOTTLE. ONE FOOT IN
THE GRAVE AND THE OTHER ON THE THROTTLE. I'M FLOATING THROUGH YOUR ATMOSPHERE LIKE
THE COMET HALEY¹S. AS FREAKY AS A FREAK SHOW CALL ME BARNUM AND BAILEY. SO YO HO MY
    CHEERIO HERE I'M COMING AROUND THE BEND. DON'T TRY TO SHAKE MY HAND I'M NOT YOUR
FUCKING FRIEND. BODYSLAM YA TO THE GROUND LIKE I WAS CAPTAIN LOU ALBANO. HIT YA IN THE
   BALLS TILL YOU'RE SINGING SOPRANO. SLIDE TO THE DANCE FLOOR GROOVE TIL YOU GET SORE.
    LISTEN TO THE TIGER'S ROAR I'LL PUMP YOU LIKE A SEESAW. I'M A TATTOOED DEMON DO YOU
CATCH MY MEANING. THINK THAT YOU'RE DREAMING BUT SOON YOU'LL BE SCREAMING. I GOT MORE
SENSELESS VIOLENCE THAN A THRILLER IN MANILA. LIKE MY HERO GACY I¹M A STONE COLD KILLER.
I GOT MY MOVES FROM THRILLER I¹M FISH YOU¹RE BARNEY MILLER. SPREADING OUT THE CARNAGE
   LIKE MECHAGODZILLA. LIKE JIMMY POP SAYS HE'S AS COOL AS JACK THE RIPPER. SO TAKE OFF
   YOUR PANTIES AND I¹LL KICK OFF MY SLIPPERS. DO AS I SAY AND I WILL BE A BIG TIPPER. MORE
SMOOTH MOVES THAN MY MAN JACK TRIPPER. GET DOWN DRINK IT UP BRING IT ON TAKE IT OFF.

She Ain't Got No Legs BABY. YEAH. THE FIRST TIME I SAW YOU DARLING I KNEW I WAS IN LOVE. TELL HER DADDY. THE WAY
   YOU TOOK YOUR WHEELCHAIR UP THAT HANDICAP RAMP. MMM, IT'S A MIND BLOWER. BUT NOW
BABY I MISS YA I MISS YA. I MISS ALL THE TIMES WE PLAYED MARCO POLO IN THE POOL. OH YEAH.
    HIDE AND GO SEEK BENEATH THE SHEETS. OH YEAH. AND JUST THE SMELL OF THE OIL IN YOUR
    WHEELCHAIR. I REMEMBER THE DAY I SAW YOU HOBBLING. A WEEBLE WOBBLING YOU HAD A
PROBLEM. YOU DIDN'T HAVE ANY LEGS JUST A SMILE AND SOME STUMPS. NO SMELLY FEET A TORSO
   TO HUMP. NO BABY LOVE YEAH THAT'S WHAT WE'D BE MAKING. RIDE YOU LIKE A SIT AND SPIN
UNTIL YOUR STUMPS STARTED ACHING. SPIN YOU AROUND YEAH ROLL YOU NEARYEAH. TURN YOU
UPSIDE DOWN TO HOLD MY BEER. YOU AIN'T GOT NO LEGS BUT I LOVE YOU JUST THE SAME OH BABY.
YOU AIN'T GOT NO LEGS BUT I LOVE YOU JUST THE SAME. THEY SAY NOTHING BEATS A GREAT PAIR
OF LEGS BUT SOMEHOW. BABY THE DAY YOU WALKED OUT OF MY LIFE THERE'S NOTHING. I WANTED
     MORE THAN, THAN FOR YOU TO COME CRAWLING BACK TO ME. WHEN WE STARTED GOING
       TOGETHER PEOPLE SAID THEY COULDN'T BELIEVE IT. THAT I COULD BE SO HAPPY WITH A
   QUADRIPLEGIC. WE WOULD WAKE UP REAL EARLY AND YOU COULD MAKE ME SOME EGGS MMM.
GIRL I DIDN'T CARE IF YOU AIN'T GOT NO LEGS. I LOVED YOU FOR YOU AND YOU LOVED ME FOR ME
   OH YEAH. WASN'T REALLY HARD FOR THOSE MORE FORTUNATE TO SEE. THAT THE FIRST TIME WE
   MADE LOVE IT WAS SUCH A WONDERFUL FEELING. THE WAY THE SUSPENSION WIRES HELD YOU
'CROSS THE CEILING. WHEN YOU ROLLED OUT OF MY LIFE. MY HEART JUST BROKE. I CAN STILL HEAR
THE NOISE OF THE SQUEAKS IN YOUR SPOKES. YOU AIN'T GOT NO LEGS BUT I LOVE YOU JUST THE
             SAME OH BABY. YOU AIN'T GOT NO LEGS BUT I LOVE YOU JUST THE SAME.

Rang Dang SO SET YOUR PHASERS ON KILL IF YA WILL SO CATCH THE FEELING. GOT YOUR HEAD A PUMPING A
   BACK AND FORTH UNTIL IT HITS THE CEILING. NOW I'M WHEELING DEALING STEALING JOHNNY'S
APPLE SEEDS. SLAPPED YOU WITH A BASEBALL BAT UPSIDE THE HEAD UNTIL IT BLEEDS. SHOWING NO
      MERCY STEP LIKE SOLOMON GRUNDY. HIT YA WITH A TABLE LEG LIKE I WAS TED BUNDY. I
BLUDGEONED YOU YOU'RE BLOODIED I THINK IT'S KINDA OF FUNNY. FIRST I'LL TAKE YOUR MONEY
AND THEN I'LL SWIPE YOUR HONEY. DIP SLIP TO THE A.M. WHAT IS THAT YOU'RE SAYING? YOU THINK
    YOU START PRAYING IT'S NOT A GAME YOU'RE PLAYING. PUMP ONE PUMP TWO LISTEN TO THE
SHOTGUN BLAST. I'LL BLAST THAT SORRY ASS WHEN YOU'RE ALL OUTTA GAS. I FREAK LIKE CEREBAL
   PALS I'LL GET INSIDE YOUR DRAWERS. FOR ALARM THERE IS NO CAUSE I FUNK LIKE LOU RAWLS.
BASCO ROSCOE P. COTRANE. I WISH I HAD A MEMBRANE SO THAT I COULD GO INSANE. RED LIGHT
   GREEN LIGHT YOU KNOW I ALWAYS WIN THIS GAME. YOU CAN BE MY GINGERBREAD AND I'LL BE
   YOUR CANDYCANE. RANG DANG DIDDLELA DANG A DANG BABY. RANG DANG DIDDLELA DANG A
DANG BABY. RANG DANG DIDDLELA DANG A DANG BABY. YOU MIGHT SAY NO BUT I HOPE YOU MEAN
MAYBE. NO CHANCE IN HELL BUT I COULD TELL YOU CRAVE ME. FRISKY FROM THE WHISKEY AND
THE THRILLS YOU GAVE ME. TASTE GREAT BUT LESS FILLING SO THRILLING. COME UNANNOUNCED
LIKE AUTOMATIC BILLING. AND YOU CAN'T DO NOTHING AS I PUSH YOUR BUTTONS. WHEN I TALK
YOU'RE GONNA LISTEN LIKE I'M E.F. HUTTON. LIKE LIONEL RICHIE'S UP ALL NIGHT LONG. JIMMY POP
DON'T DO NOBODY WRONG. STOP FLOP FLIP AND FLOP. PANTIES DROP NOW I'M ON TOP. SO WIGGLE
IT JUST A LITTLE BIT. I WON'T KISS YOUR ASS TO GET A PIECE OF IT. YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO DO IT
   NOW YOU'RE COMING AROUND TO IT. I'M THE ONE THAT SOWED THE SEED BUT YOU'RE THE ONE
THAT GREW IT. TAKE IT BLOW BY BLOW LIKE REGINALD DENNY. I DO IT ALL THE TIME HOW MANY?
   MANY FRAULEINS I'M COMING AGAIN LIKE JESUS. AND WHEN I RESURRECT I'LL BE DAMNED IF I
   DON'T PLEASE YA. OUR JIMMY POP THAT ART IN HELL HEAR IT. FILL ME WITH YOUR HOLY SPIRIT.
   RANG DANG DIDDLELA DANG A DANG BABY. RANG DANG DIDDLELA DANG A DANG BABY. RANG
   DANG DIDDLELA DANG A DANG BABY. YOU MIGHT SAY NO BUT I HOPE YOU MEAN MAYBE. EINIE
    MEANIE MINEY MOE. WHICH OF YOU GIRLS WILL BE MY HO'. CROSS YOUR FINGERS GRIT YOUR
TEETH. CAUSE THE BLOODHOUND GANG MAKES HOLES IN BEEF. WE MAKE HOLES IN BEEF. WE MAKE
     HOLES IN BEEF. WE MAKE HOLES IN BEEF. WE MAKE HOLES IN BEEF. SO WATCH YOUR BACK
STRAIGHT TO THE ATTACK. I'LL SPIN YOU AROUND LIKE YOUR NAME WAS PAT SAJAK. TAG YOUR ASS
   OUT AND NO TAG BACKS. YOU PSYCHO NYMPHOMANIAC. RANG DANG DIDDLELA DANG A DANG
BABY. RANG DANG DIDDLELA DANG A DANG BABY. RANG DANG DIDDLELA DANG A DANG BABY. YOU
                          MIGHT SAY NO BUT I HOPE YOU MEAN MAYBE.

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