The RP
WarZone...
Page: 54
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Meanwhile, the Solitary Vulcan was taking stock of the ecological
damage done to Earth... he'd backed up most of the biosphere, but hadn't
gotten to Austraila yet. No matter, as he'd always thought kangaroos looked
pretty silly anyway. From his cloaked ship, at the le Grange point 60 degrees
ahead of the Moon's orbit, he ponders whether to get involved. At his side
are Wesley Crusher and Barney the Dinosaur, both of them having been beamed
off the bridge of the _Insufficiently Reluctant_ just in time to escape
Jadesfire's killing spree. Still not sure if that was really a good idea,
he now decides to enlist their help in saving Earth from the debris.
Scottty
<[email protected]>
- Friday,
August 13, 1999 at 05:56:20 (MDT)
*The Secretary General finds out about the incoming projectiles
and is obviously quite worried, just as he prepares to contact the nuclear
owning countrys he gets a phone call....* Hello? *The voice on the other
end speaks "Hello, My name is Lord Panchik, I think I may have a proposal
for you that would bring a smile to your face"* Hmmm, go on... *"You may
not know this but we have developed a very flexible Cannon that fires Louseanite
toilet seats at almost super luminal speeds"* Yeeessss, and? *"And we know
that some rather large capital ship bits are heading toward this rather
charming planet, our HVTS Cannons could knock them out quite efficiently
my friend AND for a very reasonable price"* PRICE?! Are you mad the fate
of the world is at stake! *"Yes, thats why our prices will be reasonable,
I sugest 10 billion American Dollars worth of gold for each HVTS Cannon
and 1 million for each Louseanite toilet seat..."* You call that reasonable?!
*"Yes, when you take into account availability, quality, necesity, Panchik
Primative Peoples Tax (P.P.P.T) and VAT, we are virtually GIVING these
things away"* OK OK, I'll buy the damn things... *"OK, for an extra 50
billion dollars worth of gold we can set them up for you, which considering
you dont know how to use them, we heartily sugest..."* OK! We will pay
that too! *"Good good, we will place them throughout the world with as
many as we can set up under the Jadesfire shields...."* Yes, and hurry!
*"Certainly, A pleasure doing business with you Mr Secretary General!*
Secretary
General of the U.N. <<------
One Step Beyond, by Madness>
- Friday,
August 13, 1999 at 06:03:58 (MDT)
Leaving the boy genius and the dinosaur to brainstorm, the no-longer-solitary-but-getting-annoyed
Vulcan sends a subspace message to the probe he had dispatched to the Kuiper
Belt, directing it to locate the remants of the Imperial fleet and play
the standard greeting message at them. Then he launches all the remaining
probes ( about 20 ) but one, with orders to identify the most threatening
ISD fragments, and attempt to tractor beam them into stable orbits, or,
failing that, divert them into the ocean. The remaining probe his sitting
on his workroom table, partially dismantled, while he wires a patented
Psionic Dampener (tm) into its innards.
Scottty
<[email protected]>
- Friday,
August 13, 1999 at 06:16:59 (MDT)
"This is an automated recording. Greetings from the Vulcan Academy
of Sciences. We come in peace ands mean you no harm. Co-operation and cultural
exchange will be mutually beneficial. Contact us if your species is interested
in learning the ways of Logic, or in becoming a member of the United Federation
of Planets" (click) (rewind...) "This is an automated recording. Greetings
from the Vulcan Academy of Sciences. We come in peace ands mean you no
harm. Co-operation and cultural exchange will be mutually beneficial. Contact
us if your species is interested in learning the ways of Logic, or in becoming
a member of the United Federation of Planets" (click) (rewind...) "This
is an automated recording. Greetings from the Vulcan Academy of Sciences.
We come in peace ands mean you no harm. Co-operation and cultural exchange
will be mutually beneficial. Contact us if your species is interested in
learning the ways of Logic, or in becoming a member of the United Federation
of Planets" (click) (rewind...) "This is an automated recording. Greetings
from..."
Vulcan
remote probe #4 <[email protected]>
- Friday,
August 13, 1999 at 06:34:55 (MDT)
Dropping from warp in the midst of the remaining Imperial fleet,
the Vulcan probe flew around and between the massive capships, swamping
all their communications channels with its endlessly repeated message.
On the Vulcan ship, a quiet beeping announced that the computer had completed
its scan of the Terran biosphere. With the exception of those areas destroyed
before the scan reached them, all of Earth's surface is now recorded in
the computer's vast memory. Automatically, the info is transferred into
the data banks of the Genesis Device.
Scottty
<[email protected]>
- Friday,
August 13, 1999 at 06:43:09 (MDT)
*grin*
Lord_Woodlouse
<<----- A Tune
called "Vulcan Ears">
- Friday,
August 13, 1999 at 08:07:04 (MDT)
Tractor beam locked onto derelict bridge tower of ISD _Sour Cheese_,
attempting to tow to stable orbit. Engine section of VSD _Pointy Barge_
assigned next priority.
Vulcan
remote probe #17 <[email protected]>
- Friday,
August 13, 1999 at 08:28:01 (MDT)
Derelict hulk of unidentified Carrack-class ship succesfuly diverted
from striking London. Vessel will now impact in mid-Atlantic. Locking tractor
beam onto turbolaser turret and towing to safe orbit.
Vulcan
remote probe #9 <[email protected]>
- Friday,
August 13, 1999 at 08:42:21 (MDT)
Warning! Unable to prevent burned-out hulk of ISD _Obfuscation_
from impacting over France. Attempting to divert to lower-quality vineyards.
Vulcan
remote probe #15 <[email protected]>
- Friday,
August 13, 1999 at 09:05:23 (MDT)
Dumdumdedum....it's a great day to be alive....ooooh, what's that,
I wonde- *Vulcan remote probe #9 lands on the fish as such speeds there
is no longer a fish*
Some poor
little fish that just happend to decide to post under Savannah's ISP
- Friday,
August 13, 1999 at 09:40:00 (MDT)
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