The RP WarZone...

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But TDK! We can't kill them. It's against our programming!! *TDK starts snoring* Well, maybe we can scare the hell out of them instead..... Simple, we just start up the tank and drive it to the bridge..... Waddya mean it won't fit?.... Well, if We can't bring the tank to Duker, how about we bring Duker to the tank?.... Ok, good, now start up the engine and scare him into bringing the ship back. Hopefully in one piece. We put a lot of gasoline into consturcing that thing. I don't want it damaged because you guys can't fly it straight.... We're ALL a bit tipsy after those drinks. Just be careful.... Good.
Chrome Spider
- Thursday, September 02, 1999 at 13:37:35 (MDT) 
*After finishing his singing LW takes another gulp of bloodwine and begins muttering to himself* Oooh aye, aye *hic* juust know tham Xan...Xana...Xanawious be tryin sumin nasty... ah just know it! *just then someone walks into the room* YOU! ITS YOU! *LW falls over and begins to snore*

Lord_Woodlouse
- Thursday, September 02, 1999 at 15:36:31 (MDT) 
*LX enters the room with a wide grin on his face* Well hello my... friends *the grin gets wider* mamals are such smelly creatures, but I guess we all sufer for the sake of the doctrine... *LX strides into the room, people stare at the jet black woodlouse as he pulls out a camera and takes some pictures of LW and his aides as they lie on the floor, sing and general make an arse of themselfs among.... aliens. LX begins to mutter* These pictures shall be of great interest to my friends in the Royal Council, great interest indeed.... mwuhuhuhahahaHAHAHAHAHA! *people stare at LX and he clears his throat and begins to stride back out of the room....*

Lord_Xanarious
- Thursday, September 02, 1999 at 15:42:57 (MDT) 
Clanking about their business, the BoP's 'Skeleton Crew' were completely ignored by Duker's men, who were busy saving his life after Clint Eastwood shot him with all 12 rounds from his six-shooters. Strangely, the bullets had extremely wimpy performance, barely able to penetrate the skin. (This was probably due to Mel's composition being unable to contain real explosions. The 'guns' themselves, made from Mel's 'flesh' would have exploded.) Now, tied down wiggling with fury on a table, Duker's crew go about pulling tiny ball bearings out of their leader and using some of TDK's extensive supply of duct tape to roughly patch him up. To the Skeleton Crew, being ignored is good. One of them clanks into the small infirmary, opens a cabinet, takes out a small tank, then gassed everyone to snoring piles on the floor. When the Vulcans hailed them, they were shocked to find themselves facing a BoP crewed by what looked like T-800 Terminators. The Vulcan, gulping visibly - "Klingon Bird of Prey, you are entering a battle zone. We regret to inform you that we will have to take your ship and crew into custody for the duration of this conflict." Turning its head in a deliberately slow, dramatic motion, the Skeleton Crew member faces its dull red oculars directly to the viewscreen. For long moments, the Vulcan and the T-800 knockoff had a staring contest. The Vulcan blinked first. With an exact replica of Arnold Scharzenegger's voice, the Chrome Skeleton said, deadpan - "I'll be back." With that, the BoP, made from salvaged Imperial components, engaged hyperdrive and vanished. Onboard, the chrome spiders and skeletons cheered. Said one spider to another - "I knew Master TDK's massive video libraries were good for something.."

Skeleton Crew
- Thursday, September 02, 1999 at 17:13:41 (MDT) 
Aboard her flagship, which had arrived unannounced and undetected even by the Lurkers (mostly because they weren't looking for it), the oddly-named (and shaped, for a louse vessel) 'West of the World', Lady Cicilia Doef'Rini attempted to open a channel to Lord Woodlouse.....

- Thursday, September 02, 1999 at 17:38:10 (MDT) 


On the back lawn of the old Lounge facility, long metal tables made from propped up spare deck plating are jammed elbow-to-elbow with a rowdy crowd of Savannah's troops. Most of Jadesfire's earthside crew have signed up under her, with the rest being hired by various Earth governments to keep the shield generators and defenses running. With great gusto, they dig into the huge platters of Zerg barbecue being served by the Cylon waiters. Some of them even had their metal hineys pinched by the half-drunk renegade Imps. Next to the row of barbecue grills serving Ultralisk steak, a Rube-Goldberg machine, obviously the product of spider-kludgery, replicates another barrel of bloodwine. The Imps cheer!! Being cooped up in their mobile sardine-cans for years eating nothing but dry Imperial rations, zerg steak was a choice slice of paradise...
Narrator <Meanwhile...>
- Thursday, September 02, 1999 at 22:31:39 (MDT) 
As the BoP sped off back to the Sol system, the scanners pick up something on the way. The Klingons, not knowing what it was, woke one of Duker�s crew to see if they knew what it was. They happened to wake Screwloose, because she happened to look like someone with half a clue. Screwloose wakes up and without given a chance to wipe her eyes, she is tossed to the control panel. Klingon Officer: �What is that?� Screwloose looks at the numbers that flash on the little screen and says, �what the�that�s odd. We need to wake Duker.� The Klingons wake Duker and Screwloose informs him of what they are seeing. �Sir, we have the Instigator on sensors. It is just adrift in space.� Having trouble standing because he was so sore from the bullets, Duker, with the help of Screwloose, walks to the panel. Duker: �Bring us up next to it. Why is it out here? Why would Leroy just leave it here, unless he meant to leave it here? Scan the Instigator for anything unusual.� beep beep�beep beep A Klingon Officer: �I am detecting a small amount of explosives on the ship. It is located near the antimatter cells.� Duker: �Can we beam it out of there?� �Too risky, I would not recommend it since it is armed.� Screwloose: �Sir, I have an idea. Remember those little Defiants you got from the EDA, well I studied them and found out that they really work. With the exception of warp, of course. We could send them into the Instigator and tractor the explosive out of the ship.� Duker: �Sounds good to me. Do it.�

Duker
- Thursday, September 02, 1999 at 22:39:32 (MDT) 
Screwloose walks over to the Klingon control panel and sets up a direct link to the little ships she took out of her pocket and placed them on the panel. She tapped a button and instantly the little ships started to hover. Screwloose clapped her hands in joy that it worked, and started to input commands into the panel but suddenly stopped to think because she forgot what the commands were. She reaches into her pocked and pulls out a little Chinese manual and starts to squint really hard at the words. Not understanding what the words meant, she pulled out an English to Chinese dictionary to understand what was being said. Duker: �Why don�t you just look in the other section of the book that is in English?� Screwloose: � Ohh right. WOW, this sure is easier.� After a few minutes, Screwloose enters in all the commands and the ships start to blink rapidly downloading the information. They are then beamed into the Instigator�s Engineering room, and they instantly go to work. The six little ships position themselves around the device and activate their tractor beams. Having a good hold onto the container, they start to fly to the small shuttle bay and fly out of the door that was conveniently left open. As soon as the ship left the doors, and made good distance away from the ships, the container beeps and explodes rocking the BoP but not damaging it. Duker: �Too bad, I think I could have liked those ships. Ohh well, wake the crew and let�s get to our ship.� A few minutes pass and the entire crew is back on the Instigator. The ship is powered up with no trace of explosives left on the ship. Duker orders the Instigator, under cloak, back to Earth to tell of some bad news about their new visitors and the Vulcans.

Duker
- Thursday, September 02, 1999 at 22:39:58 (MDT) 
With the presence of the Xanarius on Earth a real menace, and their 150 warships outnumbering the defense, Leroy had to ponder the best solution for dealing with such a problem. They were intermingled with the more-or-less benign House Woodlouse vessels, and were already landed on Earth. This presented both opportunity and problem. While landed, they were vulnerable. But to ensure taking them all out would require such a magnitude of firepower as to cause a great deal of collateral damage. innocent civilians and humans would be caught in the crossfire and fallout. Turning back to his experiments, Leroy waits for the gene sequencer to finish compiling the Woodlouse genetic code. In racks beside him, test-tubes containing samples of reconstituted Woodlouse tissues grow in nutrient solution. When they are ready, he will subject them to a battery of chemical and biological tests. Perhaps a virus of some kind will be effective... In the meantime, having finished his dissection of the frozen corpse, he wonders if it will be good marinated. Nah.. best to be certain. With that, Leroy takes out a large wok, and begins preparations for lunch: Woodlousicus Superious Stew...

Leroy
- Friday, September 03, 1999 at 04:37:18 (MDT) 
The BoP finally lands beside the lunching Imperials. As the gangplank drops down, a half dozen Klingons step out. At least they *look* like Klingons.. well.. maybe half Klingon and half Hell's Angels.. They march into the Lounge. Locating TDK, they stride brisly up to him.. and kneel. "Master TDK, we apologize for the inconvenience the theft of the Bird of Prey must have been" TDK, with a splitting hangover, grogglily looks up.. and scowls.. "What is this?!?" TDK leans down and faces the faux-Klingon nose-to-nose.. and sees a bunch of terrified spiders cowering behind the eyes. The lead kneeling Klingon rises up, and takes off a rubber Klingon mask, revealing a gleaming chrome head copied from the T-800 in the Arnie Schwarzenegger flick. "Master, we thought it would make you feel more at home..." Inside the chromed skull, a pair of spiders feverishly pull on levers and stomp on tiny pedals. Behind the, in a miniature duplicate of the BoP's bridge, a spider sits on a 'captain's stool' and wonders if he's gone too far...

Chrome Spiders
- Friday, September 03, 1999 at 04:58:30 (MDT) 
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