Subject: Ha! Ha! Ha!
Little Johnny has a question, so he goes
around the house to find
his
father. He opens his dad's bedroom door and
finds his mom and dad
humping away on the bed! "Dad!"
says Johnny, "What are you doing!"
Johnny's father stops humping for a second and
says "Well, Johnny,
I'm playing poker...and your mother's the wild
card". "Oh," says >
Johnny
and he leaves the room.
Still in need of an answer to his question,
Little Johnny set out
to
look for his big brother, Ernie. He opens his
brother's bedroom
door and
finds Ernie and his sister Thelma humping
away! "Ernie!" cried
Johnny,
"What are you doing!". Ernie stops
humping for a second and says,
"Well...I'm playing poker, Johnny... and
Thelma is the wildcard.
"Oh", says Johnny and he leaves the
room.
Later, Johnny's dad approached Johnny's room
to call him to dinner.
He
opens Johnny's bedroom door and finds Johnny
wacking off like it >
was
going out of style! "Johnny!" his
father said, "I see you're
playing
poker, but where's your wildcard?"
Johnny replies, "With a hand like this,
who needs a wildcard!"
====================================
Q: What is 6.9?
A: Good sex interupted by a period.
====================================
Q: What's the difference between a
refrigerator and a gay guy?
A: The refrigerator doesn't say OHHH, when you
pull the meat out.
====================================
A man is very ashamed of his penis because of
the size. He has an
extremely small penis and doesn't want his
girlfriend to dump him
when
she sees the size.
One night when he and his girlfriend are
making out in a dark
corner he
decides he will show her. The man unzips
his pants, whips out his
small
dick, and shoves it into her hand. He
sits there impatiently
waiting to
see her reaction.
His girlfriend says, "Thanks for
offering, but I don't smoke."
=====================================
A swarm of sperms is swimming frantically
through the murky
passages of
a human body. The main group is being led by a
scout sperm who is
running up head, making sure they are all
going the right way.
At some point the scout sperm goes round the
corner and disappears
for a
second. When the main group reaches the spot,
they see the scout
sperm
stand still, just his little tail whipping
left and right, his
little
head wagging this way and that. He looks
really perplexed.
The sperms in the main group start yelling,
"What`s the matter, why
are
we stopping? C`mon, we gotta run, we gotta job
to do, an ovum to
meet..!"
The scout sperm shushes them impatiently, then
sniffs the air up
ahead
some more and announces grimly:
"Brothers, we`ve been had... We`re
up
somebody`s ass!"
===================================
Q: How are pubic hairs like parsely?
A: You push them aside before you .........
===================================
Q: What is the ultimate definition of courage?
A: Two cannibals having oral sex.
===================================
Q: How do you tell that you have a high sperm
count?
A: Your date has to chew before she swallows
===================================
One day when the teacher walked into the
classroom, she noticed
that
someone had written the word 'PENIS' (in tiny
letters) on the
blackboard. She scanned the class
looking for a guilty face.
Finding none, she rubbed the word off and
began class.
The next day, the word 'PENIS' was written on
the board again; this
time
it was written about halfway across the board.
Again she looked
around
in vain for the culprit, so she proceeded with
the day's lesson.
Every morning for about a week, she went into
the classroom and
found
the same disgusting word written on the board,
each day's being
larger
than the previous one, and each being rubbed
off vigorously. At the
end
of the second week, she walked in expecting to
be greeted by the >
same
word on the board but instead found the words:
"The more you rub
it, the
bigger it gets."
=============================
A little old lady with blue hair entered the
marital aids shop and
asked
in a quivering voice, "Yy-young man,
dd-do y-you
sell-dildosh-here?" The
salesman, somewhat taken aback by the little
old lady`s appearance
in
his shop, answered, "Uh, yes, ma`am. We
do".
"The little old lady, holding her
quivering hands about 10 inches
apart
asked, "D-do y-you ha-aave any ab-bb-bout
th-this l-long?" "Well,
yes
ma`am, we do. We have several that
size."
Forming a 5" circle with her fingers, she
then asked, "A-are an-nny
ofth-them about thi-is b-big ar-round-d?"
"Well... Yes ma`am a few
of
them are about that big.""D-do aa-ny
of th-them ha-ave
a-vibra-a-ator?"
"Yes, Ma`am, one of them does."
"W-Wel-ll, h-how d-do y-you t-turn it
off?"
============================
Q: What do you get when you cross an onion
with a donkey?
A: A piece of ass that brings tears to your
eyes.
============================
When Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon,
he said "One small
step
for man, one giant leap for mankind, good luck
Mr. Goorski."
For years mission control tried to find what
he meant by "good luck
Mr.
Goorski." They checked Russian
Astronouts but could not locate Mr.
Goorski. Until now Neil would not reveal
what he meant by "good
luck
Mr. Goorski."
Today in a press conferance he told reporters
that years ago, when
he
was a young boy, he and his brother were
playing ball when his
brother
hit the ball under their neighbor's bedroom
window. When Neil went
to
retrieve the ball, when he overheard his
neighbor's wife, Mrs.
Goorski,
telling her husband, "ORAL SEX? I'LL GIVE
YOU ORAL SEX WHEN THE KID
NEXT DOOR WALKS ON THE MOON!!"
==========================
A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital
donation center.
Man: "What are you doing here
today?"
Woman: "Oh, I`m here to donate some blood.
They`re going to give me
$5 for it."
Man: "Hmm, that`s interesting. I`m here to
donate sperm, myself. But
they pay me $25."
The woman looked thoughtful for a moment and they
chatted some more
before going their separate ways.
Several months later, the same man and woman meet
again in the
donation
center.
Man: "Oh, hi there! Here to donate blood
again?"
Woman: [shaking her head with mouth closed]
"Unh unh."
==========================
Three guys drive to a ski range and arrive
late at night. They
finally
find a place to stay, but when they get to
their room, they find
that it
only has one large bed, and this is the last
room in the place.
They
decide, `what the heck, it`s only one night`
and share the bed.
The next morning they all wake up. The guy on
the left side of the
bed
says, "I had the strangest dream. I
thought some guy was jerking me
off." The guy on the other side of bed is
shocked. "I had the same
dream, too!"
The guy who slept in the middle says,
"Well, I didn`t have that
dream. I
thought I was skiing."