Subject: What can I say???!!

There is this miss universe contest.....and the 3 finalists are miss
america, miss australia and miss singapore.
Now the judges are asking 3 questions to the finalists.
The 1st question is " name me an electrical appliance starting with the
letter "L"" miss america is as confident as ever, and replies straight
away:"lamp", the judges say good... miss australia replies:"light
bulb."
the judges say good. now miss singapore is not sure....she finally
says:"ladio". then the judges say,,,,,"sorry, radio doesn't start with
"L".
Now the 2nd question is"...name me an animal starting with the letter
"L" miss america says confidently:"...lion"  the judges say good. miss
australia says:"...leopard...."  the judges say good. and now miss
singapore isn't too sure again...she says :" ....labbit.." the judges
say..:"..sorry, rabbit doesn't start with the letter
"L"....and if you get the next question wrong, I am afraid you are out
of
the contest..."
Now the 3rd and last question.....:"name me a fruit starting with the
letter
"L" miss america says:"....lime..." the judges say well done. miss
australis
says:"....lemom..." the judges say well done. now miss singapore knows
the answer for once.....she is very confident that she would make it to
the second round.....she says:"   LIEW
LIAN........."

                                      &*&^%*()()*^###@$#

Johnny: I know an author who took ten years to finish a book
Steven: That's nothing. I know a prisoner who took twenty years to
              finish a sentence!

Wife       : You tell a man something: It goes in one ear and comes out
of
                 the other
Husband: You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes
                 out of the mouth.

Son : How much am I worth, Mom?
Mom: You're worth a million pounds to me, son.
Son:   Well, could you lend me five pounds then?

Mary   : John says i'm pretty. Andy says i'm, ugly. What do you think,
             Peter?
Peter  : I think you're pretty ugly.

Jimmy : Mom, can I have two pieces of cake?
Mom   : Certainly. Take this piece and cut it in two.

Woman : How can i ever repay you for your kindness and
               consideration to me?
Man       : By cheque, money order or cash.

Mom  : Billy, your father's having very important guest over for lunch
            today. Why don't you clean yourself and make yourself
            presentable?
Billy  :  Why should I, mom? They're not going to eat me, are they?

Sam  : I hate to see a girl standing in a bus when I am comfortably
           seated.
Lily    : So what do you do?
Sam  : I close my eyes.

Teacher: Have you given the goldfish fresh water?
Pupil     :  No, Sir. They haven't finished the water I gave them last
week.

Mom : Why are you wiping the floor with that cake?
Son  : Well, It's a sponge cake, isn't it?

Man : You remind me of the sea
Woman : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
Man:  No, because you make me sick.

Man : I'm new around here. Will you please direct me to the bank?
Little boy: I will, but only if you pay me ten dollars.
Man: Why should i pay you so much?
Little boy: Because bank directors are always highly paid.

Father Kangarooo: Where's our baby?
Mother Kangarooo: Oh no, I've had my pocket picked.