WOMAN'S GUIDE TO WHAT A MAN IS REALLY SAYING:

     I'M HUNGRY
     I'm hungry

     I'M SLEEPY
     I'm sleepy

     I'M TIRED
     I'm tired

     CAN I CALL YOU SOMETIME?
     I'd eventually like to have sex with you

     DO YOU WANT TO GO TO A MOVIE?
     I'd eventually like to have sex with you

     CAN I TAKE YOU OUT TO DINNER?
     I'd eventually like to have sex with you

     CAN I GET YOUR COAT?
     I'd eventually like to have sex with you

     LET ME GET YOUR DOOR
     I'd eventually like to have sex with you

     MAY I HAVE THIS DANCE?
     I'd eventually like to have sex with you

     NICE DRESS!
     Nice cleavage!

     YOU LOOK TENSE, LET ME GIVE YOU A MASSAGE
     I want to fondle you

     WHAT'S WRONG?
     I don't see why you're making such a big deal out of this

     WHAT'S WRONG?
     What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going
     through now?

     WHAT'S WRONG?
     I guess sex tonight is out of the question

     I'M BORED
     Do you want to have sex?

     I LOVE YOU
     Let's have sex now

     I LOVE YOU TOO
     OK, I said it. We'd better have sex now!

     GOOD MORNING
     That was great sex. Let's have more!

     SEE YOU LATER
     That was great sex. Let's have more!

     YES, I LIKE THE WAY YOU CUT YOUR HAIR
     I liked it better before

     YES, I LIKE THE WAY YOU CUT YOUR HAIR
     $50 and it doesn't look that much different!

     YES, I LIKE THE WAY YOU CUT YOUR HAIR
     For $50 they should have GIVEN you hair!

     LET'S TALK
     I'm trying to impress you by showing that
     I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like
     to have sex with me

     WILL YOU MARRY ME?
     I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys

     WILL YOU MARRY ME?
     I might as well get tax benefits for going through these talks

     While shopping:

     YES, THAT ONE'S NICE
     Why do you ask when you aren't going to listen anyway?

     THAT ONE LOOKS GREAT ON YOU
     Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!

     I LIKE THAT ONE BETTER
     Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!

     UH HUH
     Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!

     ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
     Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!

     I DON'T THINK THAT BLOUSE AND THAT SKIRT GO WELL TOGETHER
     I'm gay

     IT MAKES YOU LOOK FAT
     I'm stupid