hmmm tell me what you think about these jokes :))
Her husband has been slipping in and out of a coma for several months yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
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Boring husband: Honey, why are you wearing your wedding ring on the
wrong finger?
Bored wife: Because I married the wrong man!
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First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
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Marriage is grand -- and divorce is about 10 grand.
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Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the
man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks
and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the
neighbors listen.
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When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of
one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
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A man rushed home from work and exclaimed to his wife, "Pack your bags,
I've won the lottery!" The wife excitedly asks, "Should I pack clothes
for cold or warm weather?" He says, "Pack'em all, you're leaving!"
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A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a
wish
and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she
leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was
stunned for a while but then smiled "It really works!"
As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business fell,you were
there.
When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. When I think about it now, I think you bring me bad luck!"
Man to God: "God, why did You make woman so beautiful?"
God to Man: "So you would love her."
God created man before creating woman,
My boyfriend said that for his physical, the doctor needed a urine
There are three things a man over 40 should never forget:
Wieners come in packs of 10,
Diamond are a girl's best friend.
Single women complain that all good men are married,
Ever notice how so many of women's problems can be traced to male gender?
MENstruation
"But God", Man says, "why did You make her so dumb?"
God replies: "So she would love you."
because you need a rough draft before creating a masterpiece.
Once heard from a girl who just broke up with someone:
"My boy friend and I were not compatible.
I'm a Virgo, and he's an asshole."
specimen, a stool sample, and a semen specimen.
I told him, "Just give him your underwear."
Never pass up the opportunity to take a leak.
Never trust a fart.
Never take a hard-on for granted.
Women have their faults.
Men only have two:
Everything they say and everything they do.
buns in packs of 8,
beer in packs of 6,
presliced bologna in packs of 16,
condoms in packs of 3.
Why can't they get it straight.
Men need a calculator just to have a weekend.
Dogs are man's best friend.
So which is the dumber sex?
while all married women complain about their lousy husbands.
This confirms that there is no such thing as a good man.
MENopause
MENtal breakdown
GUYnecology
HIMmorrhoids