hmmm tell me what you think about these jokes :))
Really bad Mike Tyson jokes!
9. This gives new meaning to "box lunch".
8. Reporter: "Evander, what did you think when Tyson bit off your ear? "Holyfield: "What?"
7. Spock-vs.-Tyson bout hastily canceled.
6. What did Mike Tyson say to Van Gogh? "You gonna eat that?"
5. Did you hear about the new Mike Tyson computer? It has two bytes and no memory.
4. Next bout: Tyson vs. Hannibal Lecter, with Julia Child to referee, and to be held in Hungary.Billed as, "The Snackfest in Budapest."
3. How does Mike Tyson differ from Metallica? Metallica leaves a ringing in your ears.Tyson leaves your ear in a ring.
2. Slogans for Tyson-Holyfield III:
The Third Gogh Around
1. When interviewed after the fight, Tyson's first remarks were that "it tasted like CHICKEN.
Dahmer vs. Psalmer
The Last Supper
Ear-Reconcilable Differences
Grazing Bull
You Wanna Piece of Me?
Blood, Sweat and Ears
No Lobe Lost
Bite of the Century
Pauline Hanson is visiting a school. In one class, she asks the students if anyone can give her an example of a "tragedy".
One little boy stands up and offers that "If my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him, that would be a tragedy."
"No," Hanson says, "That would be an ACCIDENT."
A girl raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved... that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explains Hanson. "That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS."
The room is silent; none of the other children volunteer. "What?" asks Hanson, "Isn't there any one here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
Finally, a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says:
"If an airplane carrying Pauline Hanson and the One Nation Party were blown up by a bomb, *that* would be a tragedy."
"Wonderful!" Hanson beams. "Marvellous! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?"
"Well," says the boy, "because it wouldn't be an accident, and it certainly would be no great loss!"
Father of Jesus ?!
St. Peter is tired of standing at the pearly gates and giving or denying
access to Heaven, so he notices Jesus walking by and asks him to watch the
getting the information. "I'm looking for my son." the old man says. "And who are you?"
The old man says he was from the Mediterranean Sea area. "What did
The old man says, "No, just one son, and he was unlike any other child on
your son have holes in his hands and feet?" asks Jesus excitedly.
front desk for a bit. Jesus says he'd be happy to. In a little bit an old
man comes up to the desk very slowly. Jesus takes out form 85-A/j and starts
says Jesus. "I'm his Father; well ... not really." says the man. "Where
are you from?"
you do in life?" "I was a carpenter," he replies. Jesus smiles because this is a
profession he can relate to. "Did you have many children?" he asks kindly.
earth." Jesus looks closely at the old man and asks, "Did anything unusual
occur the night he came to you?" "Oh yes," the old man says, "There was this
incredibly brilliant star in the sky that lit up all the heavens." "And does
"He does!" shouts the man. Jesus puts down the 85-A/j form and holds out his
hands, "Father!" The old man looks at Jesus with a mixture of joy and
confusion on his face and asks, "Pinocchio??"