The Daily Mail- Saturday 20th May 2000

THE BOY WHO BROKE A MILLION HEARTS

As the 'cute' one in Boyzone, STEPHEN GATELY had the world at his feett- young, rich, and with millions of adoring female fans. Then he announced he was gay, ending years of secret torment. Here, he tells of the agony of living a lie, and his joy at fans' reaction to his admission.

By LISA SEWARDS

Stephen Gately looks remarkably chirpy for a man who a year ago was accused of single-handedly breaking more than a millon hearts. When the last of the Boyzone bachelors- and the one who always topped the polls as the cutest- dropped his status as national heart-throb to reveal he was, after all, gay, headlines screamed and schoolgirls sobbed.

Media analysts speculated not just the possibility of his own career flipping from sunny-side-up to severely scrambled, but also the demise of the whole band. In fact, nearly a year on, Stephen's blue eyse are plastered on so many teen bedroom walls and his concert appearances continue to raise the loudest screams. I tell him that friends' daughters still want to marry him. 'I know,' he grins, 'I'm still getting letters saying maybe they'll be the one to change me.' He has received millions of letters of support from fans, parents and even teachers, and his relief and gratitude are overwhelming in equal measures.

When Boyzone emerged from Dublin in 1993 to take over the mantle of Take That, their string of instant hits quickly turned them into household names. Scrupulously avoiding scandal of any nature, the band members- Stephen, along with Ronan Keating, Keith Duffy, Mikey Graham and Shane Lynch- became by-words for the new drugs-free, wholesome boyband that appealed to pre-teens, teens and, not least, their parents, who provide the money to buy the records. During the six years that they seamlessly clocked up 16 consecutive top-five singles, the most controversial thing that stuck to them was Catholic boy Ronan's pledge to remain a virgin until he married.

Stephen, as lead singer with Ronan, attracted his own battalion of fans and had his name linked with beautiful women such as Baby Spice Emma Bunton, Miss Scotland Isla Sutherland and Mandy Smih. There were even rumours of a pending engagement to Irish singer Kerri-Ann.

So when he discovered a local security guard at one of the tour venues was touting round the story that he was gay, and had a long-term male partner, he decided he had to announce the fact in his own way, first. Then, along with the rest of the band, he held his breath and awaited the reaction.

'I was terrified the day the story broke,' recalls Stephen. 'I was in Milan, watching the TV news, which showed the day's papers, and there was little me on all these front pages. I absolutely dreaded the reaction. I never wanted my privae life made public. I was forced into a corner because of that security guard, but there was no way I was going to let anyone sentionalise my private life. If the story was going to be told I wanted to do it myself, in my own way, with dignity.

'Luckily, I knew that my family and friends loved me. I had told them the news was about to break and they were supportive. Bu of course we were all nervous, and I was just glad that I was a a stage in my career and life where Boyzone were so successful. A least I was far more socially and financially confident in terms of making the announcement than I would have been earlier in my career.'

It takes a little more delving to understand just how crucial the timing was. Stephen says he knew he was gay from the age of 16, but the chance of pop stardom that came with his audition for Boyzone in 1992, and his subsequent elevation to one of the nation's biggest teen idols, meant that there was never a time to drop the bombshell. 'I came from a humble background where, despite lotts of talent, there was high unemployment and many of the children would end up getting into drugs and trouble. To get the chance of joining a boy band was too fanttastic to destroy or give up on by admitting I was gay.'

Stephen's manner is so personable and honest it is almost disarming. The 24-year-old is still very much in touch with his humble Dublin roots, where he grew up in the ciy's notoriously rough Sherriff Street. It was a happy childhood, but one marked by severe poverty. What isn't immediately evident is Stephen's quiet inner drive which had him, at 13, practising his autograph in preparation for fame. This, much more than just an adolescent dream, was spurred on by the desire to escape his background.

Ironically, it was exactly around the time that Irish mnanger Louis Walsh was auditioning for his new boyband that Stephen began to realise he was gay. 'I thought that there was no way I would get an opportunity to be part of the group if I had said, "Oh, by the way, I'm gay." It just wasn't a risk I could afford to take. So I kept it secret from the oher band members and the manager for the first five months. Eventually, I knew I had to tell them, to be honest. They were all very supportive and said it made no difference. But I'm a very private person and I wanted to keep it that way, and at the same time I didn't want to lie or deceive the fans. Yet I know that if I had come out in public at an earlier stage of my career, the band's success would definitely have been affected. So many female fans dreamed of dating and even marrying us- it would have been such a dent to the image we were building up.'

When he did come out- in June last year- it was just one week after the compilation of hits, Boyzone By Request, sold more copies than the rest of the Top 20 put together, and a few months after Boyzone's version of sandrew Lloyd-Webber's No Matter What was chosen as Britain's favourite song of 1998. He prayed that the fans and public would support him. 'I could never have estimated just how much support, though. Elton John sent flowers, Graham Norton wrote me a beautiful letter, George Michael rang and even Billy Connolly said, "Well done."

'I've received millions of letters of support, not just from fans, but also mothers, fathers, teachers, priests, vicars, saying well done for showing courage, and also thanking me for helping them understand their own children, or situations. I've even had letters from people saying I've saved them from committing suicide.' Stephen, who stresses that the last thing he wants to be is to be turned into some kind of gay rights campaigner, adds, 'I've had nothing negative and have so much respect for the people who have written these letters that I am gradually replying to all of them. In the last year, when I've had shaky moments, I've read some of the letters from the huge pile and the reassure and cheer me up.'

Stephen has few regrets about coming out. He is convinced that doing so enabled him to bypass the breakdown he feels he was otherwise heading for. 'There were so many times when I couldn't sleep at night. I would lie awake worrying about people finding out I was gay and it being in the papers the next day. When I woke up and saw that it wasn't, I'd feel huge relief, but then I'd start to worry that if it wasn't published today, it might be next year, or the year after. It was hard being a teenager in the public eye and constantly smiling for photographs and making people happy when I was so worried and unhappy on the inside. It was like having an axe hanging over my head. I'd be down in the dumps and fans would say, "Are you okay, Stephen?" I'd think to myself, "No, but I can't possibly tell you."

'Sometimes I was so worried that I'd stay in my home for days, just going to the shops to get something to eat because I was so terrified of being followed when I was feeling low. Now it's a relief that I can just go out and be myself without having to pretend or hide. It's taken a huge pressure off me not having to explain why I haven't got a girlfriend or why I'm not getting married. People were always speculating and asking me.

'In the last few years, especially, when we were really big, the pressure got worse. I learned to use language to get around the question without telling a lie. I would say, "I haven't found the right person ye." When I was asked what girls I liked, I would always choose ones who I genuinely admire, like Madonna and Janet Jackson. I know Emma Bunton annd Mandy Smith, but they were all genuine friends- people made assumptions. They were never decoys or covers.'

Far from being annoyed when his name was linked with various famous women, Stephen was grateful. 'It would take huge pressure of me because everyone would think I was going out with a girl. I remember giving a hug to the journalist who ran the Boyzone magazine on a viideo shoot. The paparazzi were following us, without us knowing, and photographed the hug. Although it was spontaneous and I didn't engineer it, I must admit that the next day, when the papers' headlines said "Stephen's new love", I was secretly pleased. It protected me- at least for a little while longer.'

As one by one the other band members started happily settling down, the emotional strain on Stephen increased. Ronan Keating got married and had a baby son; Shane Lynch married Eternal singer Easther Bennett; Keith Duffy married last year and Mikey Graham and his girlfriend had a baby daughter. Stephen, meanwhile, was having to take great pains to conceal his relationship with his long-term partner Eloy de Jong, a hugely successful pop star himself in Holland and Germany as a former meber of Dutch band Caught In The Act.

'We had to travel in separate planes, stay in separate hotels, arrive at restaurants at different times. It was a great stress for both of us and extremely expensive, too. There was a point when I reached total exhaustion and was on the verge of collapsing and running away. I'd been constantly working for six years. I was tired, I wasn't sleeping at night because of my worries. I'm a great worrier, just like my dad. I was desperate to have time to think and space for myself.

'Then there were times when I was lonely and missed my family. I had told my sister I was gay a year after joining the badn and she simply said, "I always knew you were," though it took me another year to pluck up the courage to tell my parents. Dad was great and said, "You are my son and I love you and that doesn't change." Mum hugged me.

'But when we first started trying to make a name as a band, and we had no money, I couldn't fly back for the weekend to see them. We'd be staying in a hotel and I'd just sit on the bed and cry. Ronan and the other guys would come and knock on my door because they knew how upset I was and they would say, "Come on," and I'd open the door and the five of us would have a big hug and they would say, "Don't worry, we'll always take care of you." And we have all absolutely stuck by that.'

There has never been the slightest whiff of rows or recriminations among the five members of Boyzone. Even now, while the band is taking time out to pursue their own projects, they all resolutely refuse to contemplate actually splitting up. Stephen has popped up on Keith's Saturday-morning TV show and even during this interview often refers to his night out on the town with Ronan a couple of nights before.

This month, Stephen releases the firs single off his first solo album, A New Beginning. 'I want to seer away from my image as the cute little one. I was a teenager when I started and now I'm 24. I think people will be surprised at how different my own music is to what I do in Boyzone. In the band I have always done the high notes, but fans will see another side of me. I wanted to get away from the ballad-type songs people associate with me. The album has a real dance beat because I love disco music and I love dancing. The first single has lots of energy. I've worked extremely hard on this album, but I'll be hiding at home when it's released, praying that people will like it. If it goes well, I will do a solo tour.'

It is only now, thanks to changes he has made to his lifestyle, that he is able to contemplate a demanding tour schedule. 'It got to the point when I needed to do something about my health and lifestyle, otherwise I would have collapsed. I told out manager I needed a couple of days off every couple of weeks. I also went to a lady for acupuncture, which was amazing; after a few sessions I suddenly started to laugh and feel full of energy. I meditate, which helps enormously, and I've been taught relaxation techniques, which I now practise at home. I only go back for treatment now and again to get me back on track. But it's been a transformation.'

As has his life. Home is a converted mill outside Dublin, although in the past 18 months that he has been with Eloy, he divides his time between there and Eloy's house beside a lake near Amsterdam. 'It's beautiful and calm there and I go over to see Eloy as much as I can. We're very committed, we get on so well. My sister and her husband brought my nephew Jordan, and my brother Mark and his wife brought their son over for the Millennium celebrations and we all had a wonderful time.

In Ireland I have a motor boat and i love spending money on clothes, but I'm not foolish with it and I will always remember where I came from. For a few years, when we were little, my sister Michelle and I used to have to share a bed. There were five children and we lived in a two-bedroom flat. On Wednesday afternoon, I would have to do the shopping. I was so embarrassed at having to push an old granny trolley with the shopping in it, that I devised a system where I would have two bags over my shoulders and carry a further five bags in my hands. One day a bag broke and the fairy Liquid spilt all over the floor. Mum was very angry because every penny counted, so after that I would make sure to wrap several bags around things like the Fairy Liquid.'

'Christmas was always tough and Dad, who is a decorator, used to do lots of work around that times to make sure that money was okay for the presents. My parents did whatever they could and were brilliant, but I didn't want to live like that forever. I didn't want to scrape through, always having to get certain foods and brands because they were cheaper. There were always lots of stolen things going around the doors of the houses in our street, and we would buy two for the price of one. I have lots of happy memories, but when I grew up I wanted more.'

Although generally they were strong on discipline, his parents helped inspire him musically in small ways. 'Dad is a funny character. After a couple of drinks he would start to sing great Irish ballads and mum would play the spoons. She would also belt out hymns at Mass. It was dancing I loved- I would go to teenage disco every Friday night and take over the whole dance floor. I went to classes and eventually a friend and I took them and charged the children 50p each. Mum was very proud of my dancing and would get me to perform little routies in our liiving room when she had friends round.'

When he was 13, he joined a community drama group.'The others were nearer 20,but it was the beginning of me starting to become more confident.' He wasn't yet aware of his voice. 'I was on a coach travelling to one of the modelling assignments I used to do as a teenager. We all used to sing on the coach, and one day an agent asked if there was anyone who could sing, and everyone chorused, "Stephen can." I had no idea my voice was good and to this day I've never had a singing lesson.'

It was during the year that Stephen was set to leave school that he answered a newspaper advert for Louis Walsh's band. He beat 200 other hopefuls to be signed up with Polydor records. "I rang up Louis before the audition and said, "Why do you have to be big to be a pop star?" I told him I was 5ft 7in and he told me to come along anyway. I was the only one to turn up with a CV with a nice folder and pictures. I knew Ronan because he came from the same area as me and I knew Shane through his sister, who was into disco dancing, like me.'

During the band's first year he admits his initial euphoria at being picked was severely tested. 'Although it was an exciting time, it was also exhausting. That first year we toured clubs doing late-night gigs at 1.30am, where guys would spit at us- I even had a glass smashed against my chest. It was a tough time, but i kept thinking that if it didn't work out I could always go back to my dancing without having lost anything.'

But it did work out, both musically and personally. 'I am happier than ever. But it is only now that I have started to really enoy the success without having to pretend any more. I have the fans and the public to thank for their support, and I won't forget that- because otherwise I wouldn't be here now.'

Stephen's single, A New Beginning, is released on May 29. His album, of the same title, is released on June 19. Both are on Polydor Associated Label.