If I Don't Do It Now

Thanks to JACKIE for sharing this!

"MIKEY!" Stephen shouted, "We've got an interview with Smash Hits magazine in half an hour you'd better get dressed. "OK Steo, i'm up. Why are you so chirpy anyway?" Mikey asked sleepily. "I dont know. Its just a great day outside, it's a shame to be unhappy. Anyway the sun makes you smile." Stephen replied with a big grin.

"Everybody get into the van now," a big voice ordered. It was Barrie Knight, bodyguard to the stars. "Yeah Barrie," Keith called, "Just give me a minute." "No Keith I said get into the van NOW." Barrie only acted like this because he cared about the boyz. Well he had been bodyguard to them for years. They were more like friends than employers and employee. "OK lads you're going to do the Smash Hits interview then i'll come and pick you up and take you to the airport." "Yes Sir!" Shane replied with a cheeky smile.

"Oh God I cant believe we're in the UK again," Mikey said with a smile." "Yeah I like it here," Ronan said. There were murmurs of agreement from the other boyz. "Well lets get to the hotel lads," Barrie said. "OK they all decided.

"Can't wait to see my family again," Ronan said to Stephen. "Well you'll see them soon Ro." Stephen said with a small smile. "Steo is something wrong?" Ronan asked with concern in his voice. "Oh its just... never mind." "Stephen Patrick David Gately you're not leaving this room until you tell me whats wrong," Ronan decided. "Come on Steo we're best mates you can tell me anything." "OK well promise me it wont go any further," Stephen asked. "Of course it wont Steo. I wont tell anyone." "Thanks Ro you're one in a million," "Yeah I know!" Ronan said with a laugh, "Now Stephen tell me whats wrong."

"So this is all about Eloy then?" Ronan asked Stephen. "Well yeah i suppose it is," Stephen replied. "Stephen if you love him then go for it. Tell him." "But Ro, what if he doesnt say it back?"

"Come on guys we've got a plane to catch to Holland. Move now" Barrie shouted up the stairs to the boys who had just finished their last night in the UK. "OK Barrie we're up keep your hair on," Shane shouted. "But Shanno," Keith called, "Barrie doesnt have any hair!" "Funny Keith, funny," Barrie laughed. "But I am serious you'd better move now guys." "Well Good-Bye Great Britain." The boys called just before the plane took off.

"Ronan im not sure I can do this," Stephen said. "Course you can Steo, everything will be fine." "OK but if i come out with a face like a wet weekend I get to punch you!" "Its a deal," Ronan said with a smile.

There it was. The room he had been looking for. He knew it was it. It said ELOY DE JONG in big gold letters. But he couldnt bring himself to knock on the door. Why? He knew why. He was scared of rejection. It had happened once before. He had stupidly fallen in love with a man called Jamie. He had finally got the courage to tell him he loved him and Jamie just looked at him, turned and walked away. He never got over that. He was scared it would happen again. But he loved Eloy more than he had love anyone. He had to do it. Reason number one: If he didnt do it now he never would. Reason number two: Ronan would kill him if he didnt. Reason number three: He would always wonder for the rest of his life if, he had just asked maybe they would be together.

Ronan was beginning to wonder where Stephen was. He had told Ronan to wait there so he could get a lift back to the hotel. Then the door swung open and Stephen was there smiling so hard Ronan thought his face would crack. "So im taking it he feels the same way?" he said smiling at his friend. "Yeah he does, thanks Ro, I never would've been able to do it if you wern't here." "Hey Steo that's what friends are for."

"Hello?" "Hello is this Stephen Gately?" "Yes this is he may I ask who is speaking?" "Yes its The Sun newspaper. We have someone who wants to tell everyone about you." "What about me?" "That you're gay." "What?" "Yes but we're willing to let you tell everyone your story. But whether you do or you dont the story will appear in Wednesday's newspaper." "OK i'll come and talk to you tomorrow." "Good-Bye." "Bye" "Stephen are you OK?" Keith asked "No im not. That was The Sun someone wants to tell everyone that im gay. I can tell the story if I want but if I dont it will be in the newspaper anyway." "Oh Stephen thats awful," Mikey said. "Are you OK?" Ronan wanted to know. "You dont need to do this if you dont want to," Shane told him. "I know. Im going to my room. I think i'll phone Eloy and talk to him about it. And anyway if I dont tell everyone now, I never will."

"I never thought it would be front page news," Stephen declared as he opened the newspapers. "Of course it's gonna be front-page news Steo its what everyone doesnt expect," Ronan replied. "What don't they expect?" Keith asked. "For it to be front-page news? Mikey said. "No," Shane added, "For a boy band member to be gay." Thanks Shanno," Ronan said picking up another newspaper. "Good-Morning everyone," Eloy said as he walked down the stairs. "Morning Eloy," everyone replied. "Want to see one of the newspapers?" Shane asked passing him one over.

"Stephen are you sure you're ready for this?" Mikey asked him. "Yes im ready. If I dont do it now i never will." "OK as long as you're sure." "Yeah Mikey I am. Thanks though." "For what?" "Caring." "Course I care! You're like a brother to me, to all of us." "OK you two ready?" "Yeah we're ready." Mikey said with a smile. "Group hug!" Keith shouted and they all hugged each other before their name was announced.

They walked out onto the stage. Party In The Park was a big deal. There were 100,000 people there and goodness knows how many watching at home. If this didnt go well Stephen didnt know what he'd do. OK this was it. His part of the song was about to come up. He couldnt do it. Then he remembered back to before he told Eloy he loved him, when The Sun told him he had to tell his story and to his chat with Mikey just a few minutes before. Each of those times he had said - "If I don't do it now, I never will." Well if he didn't do this now he never would again. "Im gonna buy me a one way ticket, nothing's gonna hold me back..." The crowd gave him support by clapping, screaming and giving him the biggest cheer of the day and as Ronan, Keith, Shane and Mikey put their arms around him he knew everything was going to be OK.