If Only You Were Mine. . .

This is the 11th chapter in a Stephen and Eloy fanfic I wrote about a year ago (2000) about the beginning of the relationship. As I, and nobody else, knows the 'real' truth about how they first got together, I thought you might like to read this completely fictional piece of work which I would like to think is how they got together. In some instances, real events are portrayed.

* * *

'Is this Wembley?" asked Stephen.

"I think so!" screamed Ronan.

Stephen and Ronan climbed out of the little silver box, followed closely by Shane, Keith and Mikey. They quickly launched into When The Going Gets Tough, which was met by loud hysterical screams from the Wembley crowd.

It was Boyzone's first night at Wembley on their sell-out UK tour, which had started 2 weeks previously. Eloy stood at the side of the stage watching the show. He nervously glanced around at the various newspaper and magazine journalists who were mingling around backstage. His heart always leapt whenever he spotted a journalist. It had been 2 months since that phone call from Caroline and they hadn't heard anything about the security guard since. So, whenever he or Stephen spied a journalist, their hearts always skipped a beat in case the journalist brought the news that they had both been dreading for 2 months. Sighing, Eloy continued to watch the show from his secluded place backstage. Occasionally he would look out into the audience and wave at Stephen's family. He was annoyed that he wasn't able to sit with them but, as Stephen had said, it would look to "suspicious". Smiling wryly, Eloy thought, 'there's that word again. Suspicious. Stephen's most overused word in the English Language!'

Shaking his head, Eloy watched Stephen sing his solo, Where Did You Go, before he headed back to the Boyzone dressing room to wait for Stephen there. . .

* * *

Eloy sat alone in the Boyzone dressing room, reading Stephen's Conversations With God book in order to pass the time. He was completely lost in the book and so became startled when there was a loud knock at the door.

Opening it, Eloy saw Caroline nervously twitching outside.

"Eloy, there you are!" she exclaimed, obviously relieved to have found him at last.

"Hiya Caz," Eloy grinned. "What's up?"

"Oh, Eloy," Caroline replied shaking her head, before stepping inside the room and closing the door behind. "We have a problem. That security guy. . . well, there's no easy way of saying this but. . . he's got a picture of you and Stephen together. He's using it as evidence against you."

Eloy tried to laugh, but it turned into more of a nervous giggle. "So what? What does a picture prove?"

"Eloy," Caroline said gently. "This picture. . . well, let's just say it's kind of obvious that you and Steve are more than just good friends."

Eloy's shoulders sank.

"The good thing is though that The Sun are sticking to their word- they want to give you and Eloy the opportunity to come out yourselves. They're giving you until next week to make a decision," Caroline explained.

They were interrupted by a loud noise from the corridor outside. Boyzone suddenly came barging in through the door, excitedly discussing what a great gig it had been. They stopped in their tracks when they saw the serious looks on Caroline and Eloy's faces.

"What's up?" Stephen asked, a concerned look on his face.

"I better go," Caroline said, glancing at Eloy. "Stephen, you get yourself changed and Eloy will explain everything back at the hotel, okay?"

Stephen nodded, a look of dread appearing across his face. He didn't like the sound of this. . .

* * *

Stephen sat down on the bed, a stunned look of realisation upon his face after hearing what Eloy had to tell him. He knew they had a decision to make and they had to make it quickly.

"Shall I get your family up here, and then we can talk about it all together?" Eloy asked.

"No!" Stephen cried. "I don't want to worry them unnecessarily. They will only talk us out of it."

"Does that mean. . ." Eloy began, his voice trailing off.

Stephen sighed. "Look, I don't want some guy making some money out of me. I refuse to let that happen. I don't really have a choice- I can't live my life for the next few months always wondering when the story is going to break. The pressure will be even more unbearable than it is now. The question is though- will you stick with me? We either do it together, or not at all. It's up to you."

Eloy hugged Stephen before saying, "I'll support you through this, you know I will. Let's do it. Ring up The Sun now and tell them."

Stephen grinned, knowing that if they came through this, it would show how strong their relationship is. Picking up his mobile, his hands trembling, he dialed The Sun's Bizarre Column.

"Hello?" he said, in a nervous Irish accent. "Is that Dominic? It's Stephen Gately here."

* * *

Boyzone had just finished doing a sound check for their concert at Manchester that night. They were back at the hotel, just chilling out before the actual show that night. For Stephen and Eloy, however, they had an interview to do.

They had arranged to do the interview with The Sun that day at the hotel. The Sun journalists hadn't arrived yet though, and so Stephen and Eloy were hiding in their hotel room. Hiding away had become a big part of their lives throughout this tour. Normally, Stephen would join the rest of the band in the hotel bar, following a concert. This time though, however, Stephen would spend all his time in the hotel room with Eloy, as they were both afraid of the fans seeing them together. Ronan had told Stephen that the fans who came to the hotel were always asking where he was. Stephen loved meeting the fans, but he refused to let them see up close what a depressed state he was in at the moment.

There was a knock at the door. Glancing over at Eloy, Stephen nervously got up and opened the door. Rav Singh and Sam Carlisle, 2 journalists from The Sun, were standing there.

"Ready?" Rav asked, as Stephen nodded. "Shall we do it in here or. . .?"

"No, here's fine. Someone might see if we do it elsewhere," Stephen said.

Stephen and Eloy sat down on 2 sofa's in the corner of the room, motioning for Rav and Sam to sit down on the 2 chairs opposite.

Rav placed a tape recorder down on the table, and got his notebook out ready to take notes. "In your own time."

Stephen sighed before slumping back on the sofa, simply saying, "I am gay."

Stephen paused for a brief moment. Rav nodded at him motioning for him to go on.

Speaking softly he said, "This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do but I owe it to our fans- as well as to myself- to be completely honest."

Stephen continued to speak, telling Rav and Sam about how he and Eloy got together. Tears welling up in his eyes, he said, "Anyone who has seen us performing live knows I always give 100 per cent and I will continue to do that. But the pressure to be something I'm not and the fear of a hurtful story being printed has just become too intense." Stephen paused, emotionally drained from telling a journalist everything about his private life.

Eloy glanced over at his partner, and reached out to hold his hand. Squeezing the hand, he said, "I will always be there for Stephen. We will get through this. With the support of our fans I know life can be brilliant for us."

Stephen looked at Eloy, grateful for his support. He knew then that he couldn't do the interview without him.

Stephen carried on speaking, soon forgetting that the journalists were there. The words just came flowing out of his mouth. It was then that he knew he was doing the right thing. Even just talking about it, Stephen felt a whole lot better. He felt like a great big burden was being lifted off his shoulders.

Speaking quietly, he added, "I remember one morning waking up and feeling so depressed that I thought about running away- giving it all up and trying to forget everything. I had to make a choice. I could either break down and cry or stand up and be positive. That's what I'm doing now. This interview is the most positive thing I have ever done."

His voice filled up with emotion as he ended the interview by saying, "Today is the most important day of my life. From now on everything will be different. I know that and it's pretty scary. But I'm still the same Stephen, still singing the same songs. You have been with us through thick and thin. I've given you smiles and I will continue to do that. I've been strong for you, I've signed your autographs, answered your letters and given the performances you deserve on stage. Now I need you to be there for me. I know you won't let me down."

With a gasp, Stephen slumped back on the sofa, now completely drained from doing the interview.

"You okay?" Rav asked. Stephen nodded. "Well, we're going downstairs now to get a few comments about this from the Ronan and the other lads."

Placing a hand on Rav's shoulder, Stephen asked, "When are you printing the interview? I need to know."

Rav sighed. "I was talking to your manager. He thinks it would be best if the story broke whilst you were out of the country. You've got a European Tour in June, haven't you?" Stephen nodded. "Well, we thought about June 16th time."

"But that's 3 weeks away!" Stephen moaned.

"I know it's a long time, but it'll be better for you. Besides, we really can't make any mistakes with this interview. After we, well we, outed Elton John, we have to handle these kind of issues with sensitivity. Which is why I'll be showing you a draft of the interview so you can make sure it's okay."

Stephen nodded, knowing it all made sense.

Before Rav disappeared out the door, he said, "Oh, and Eloy, we'll need a picture of you. Any old one will do."

Stephen said, "I'll fax one through to you."

As soon as Rav and Sam had left, Stephen and Eloy sat in silence for a while. 3 weeks from that very day, their secret would be out. They waited for that day with a mixture of sadness, excitement, happiness and nervousness. . .

* * *