If Only You Were Mine. . .

This is the 13th chapter in a Stephen and Eloy fanfic I wrote about a year ago (2000) about the beginning of the relationship. As I, and nobody else, knows the 'real' truth about how they first got together, I thought you might like to read this completely fictional piece of work which I would like to think is how they got together. In some instances, real events are portrayed.

* * *

Stephen viewed the flowers suspiciously. There was a tiny envelope stuck between the petals, with "To Stephen and Eloy" inscribed on it. The flowers had arrived with Louis Walsh that morning, along with a few fan letters and a beautiful handwritten letter from the Irish comedian Graham Norton, which Louis had been able to bring over from the UK with him. Louis had told them that there were thousands of fan letters which were going to be shipped out to Holland in the next few weeks. Louis had dropped everything off on his way to Germany, where Boyzone were playing that night. Stephen and Eloy were just about to leave, but hadn't had time to look at the flowers yet.

Picking up the envelope, Stephen opened it, careful not to rip across the inscription which had been so delicately written. Inside the envelope was a tiny card, with another delicate inscription on it. It read:

"Dear Stephen and Eloy,

Congratulations!

Don't worry, everything will be fine,

Wishing you all the best,

Love Elton and David

X"

Stephen gasped as he realised the flowers were from Elton John and his partner. Elton had long been an idol of Stephen's and, although they had met on several occasions, Stephen wouldn't call Elton a good friend. But yet, here he was receiving flowers from the man himself! He felt very privileged.

"E?" Stephen called. "Come here a minute!"

Eloy appeared from upstairs, where he had been getting changed.

"Look at this."

Eloy's eyes grew wider by the second as he read Elton's card. He had never met the man before but yet, here he was sending him flowers. Like Stephen, Eloy too felt very privileged.

"Wow. . ." he breathed, almost speechless.

Both men sat in silence for a few seconds, deep in thought. Eloy was thinking about the fact that Elton's card proved that Eloy de Jong was now a name known in the UK. For Stephen, however, he was panicking. It was his first show that night since coming out and he was feeling very scared indeed.

"So help me, God," Stephen whispered, looking up at the ceiling.

"Huh?" Eloy asked, puzzled. "Stephen, you're not still worried about tonight are you? Look, we know the reaction has been positive. It'll be fine- you need to chill out a bit more!"

"I know but. . . look, tonight I am performing in Germany, the country where your band was huge. What if they hate me for going out with you?"

Eloy chuckled. "Baby, it's YOUR concert! They're all Boyzone fans and so, if they hat anyone, it should be me!" he said soothingly.

"Yeah, but there are still some tickets left. What if some of your fans decide to come and give me a hard time about it?

"Well then, I wouldn't call them fans of mine!" Eloy said, leading Stephen out the front door.

"But what if. . ." Stephen continued to whine, full of 'what if's' and 'buts', all the way to the concert venue in Germany.

* * *

"And then, what if. . ."

Eloy rolled his eyes. Stephen had continued to moan all the way to Germany, all throughout the plane journey, and he was still at it as he and Eloy arrived in a taxi at the venue.

"Stephen?"

Stephen turned around. "What?"

Eloy kissed him before saying, "Shut up!"

Stephen smiled, before focussing on something behind Eloy. Eloy turned around, to see a group of fans stood at the gate.

Stephen smiled. The fans stood still, completely motionless. Not screaming.

Stephen groaned. "See? They hate me!"

He and Eloy turned around to go through the backstage door in the venue.

"No they don't," Eloy said. "They're just a little shocked that's all. It's only natural. They haven't had much time to get used to the idea yet."

Stephen smiled again. 'Eloy's right,' he thought. 'Why does he always have to be right?'

* * *

Ronan stood with Keith in front of the stage. Westlife were on stage, just going through the songs they would be singing that night as support for Boyzone. Ronan watched them with much interest. After all, he was their manager. Glancing to the right of the stage, Ronan suddenly saw 2 figures enter the auditorium. Stephen and Eloy. Ronan punched Keith on the arm.

"Ouch!" Keith exclaimed. "What did you do that for?"

Ronan motioned for Keith to be quiet, simply pointing towards Stephen and Eloy.

Ronan gasped as both men came into the light. Stephen looked absolutely awful. Like he hadn't slept for weeks. Ronan suddenly felt pangs of guilt that he hadn't been there to support him on the actual day the story broke. Ronan had seen Stephen stressed out before, but certainly not to that extent. It was then- and only then- that Keith and Ronan realised how stressful the whole situation must have been. And still was.

"Hi!" Stephen said softly, as Westlife finished rehearsing Swear It Again on stage.

Ronan and Keith responded by giving both Stephen and Eloy massive hugs. This was followed by Shane and Mikey doing the same.

"How ya doing? You okay?" Mikey asked with much concern.

"Oh you know, bearing up," Stephen smiled. "Just finding it a bit weird, you know. The fact that it's all out in the open now. That I can be myself. And that I'll no longer have to answer questions about what REALLY went on with Baby Spice!"

They all laughed, as Stephen continued to make light of the situation and crack jokes about it. Ronan knew, however, that Stephen was just putting a brave face on it. He could tell that Stephen was scared about the future and about the concerts that night. When you've known each other as long as Ronan and Stephen had, you can easily sense these things.

There was silence for a short moment, as everyone stood awkwardly around, unsure of what to say next. Eventually Keith spoke.

"Steo, lots of British press are gonna be here tonight- are you okay with that? I mean we could easily bar them from coming to the shows, but they just want to see the reaction to you, that's all. . . "

"Oh, no, I'm cool with that. The press have been fantastically supportive."

Keith smiled, giving his friend a warm hug. Ronan cautiously interrupted, not wanting to spoil the moment.

"Um, guys? I think we better do some soundchecks. . ."

Stephen looked at his watch. "Crikey! I guess you're right. . ."

The band proceeded to rehearse and soundcheck, then soundcheck again, before leaving the venue to get some sleep before the night's concert. All knew that the fan's reaction to Stephen that night would decide the fate of the band. . .

* * *

Boyzone launched into When The Going Gets Tough, in front of a packed arena of fans and press. Stephen could feel his hands shaking. Looking down, he willed them to stop. They didn't listen. It was getting close to Stephen's solo part in the song. As Stephen continued to clap his hands in time with Ronan's singing, his breathing began to get heavier and harsher as he became more and more nervous. He eventually looked out into the audience- which was something he had been trying to put off- but he was amazed at what he saw. There was a sea of banners, all for him. In the midst of the Stephen banners, there was an occasional one which read "I love you Ronan" or "Shane, get your kit off", but the majority read things like "Good luck Steo and Eloy" or "We still love you Steve!" As Stephen surveyed the audience, he caught Eloy's eye, who was in the audience, but hidden from view of everybody.

"You can do it," Eloy mouthed.

Stephen nodded. It was Eloy's presence at the concert which was willing him on.

Before he knew it, it was his turn to sing.

"I'm gonna buy me a one way ticket. . ." he sang, glancing nervously at the audience. They went wild, absolutely crazy for him. Slowly, the rest of Boyzone began to smile, as a huge wave of relief rushed through Stephen. 'It's gonna be okay, it's gonna be okay,' he thought to himself. However, there was a slight sense of doubt running through his mind. Just 3 weeks later he, alongside Boyzone, would be performing for Prince Charles at Party In The Park in front of 100, 000 people- not all of whom would be Boyzone fans.

"100, 000," Stephen whispered to himself. Shaking his head, he decided to worry about that concert when it came to it. For now, he was content just to revel in the moment of the show he was doing now.

Each time Stephen sang co-lead on a song, the audience would go wild, screaming each time he waved or smiled at the crowd. Despite everything, they still loved their Stephen and certainly didn't think any less of him as a person. If anything, they loved him even more.

Eventually it was time for Stephen to sing his solo song, Where Did You Go. This was the first time he had been on stage by himself that night and, normally he takes to the solo stage with ease. Tonight, however, was a different story. He was dead nervous without having 4 other guys standing behind him, even though the Boyzone band was on stage. Stephen needn't have worried though. As he stood alone on stage, he couldn't speak for a few seconds for fear of the tears welling up in his eyes spilling over. Eventually, he spoke, softly but with deep sincerity.

"I'd just like to say thank you for all your support over the past couple of days." Stephen paused for a second, catching Eloy's eye as his partner looked on proudly.

"And I'd like to dedicate this next song to you, the fans, and Eloy," Stephen continued, pointing out Eloy in the audience. "Thank you."

Stephen launched into his song, as the audience continued to scream and cheer. Looking towards Eloy, he smiled as he saw lots of fans gathered around getting autographs. Eloy looked at Stephen.

"I love you," he mouthed.

Stephen nodded and smiled before, during an instrumental break in the song, mouthing back, "me too."

* * *