If Only You Were Mine. . .

This is the final chapter in a Stephen and Eloy fanfic I wrote about a year ago (2000) about the beginning of the relationship. As I, and nobody else, knows the 'real' truth about how they first got together, I thought you might like to read this completely fictional piece of work which I would like to think is how they got together. In some instances, real events are portrayed.

* * *

Stephen felt the pounding feeling in his chest that had become so familiar to him over the past few weeks. His hands were wet with perspiration and not even Joey, Stephen and Eloy's brand new dog could calm him down.

Stephen absentmindedly began tapping the tune of A Different Beat on the dashboard of Eloy's Audi. Tap-tap-tap-tap. Tap-tap-tap-tap. Tap-tap-tap-tap. Tap-tap.

Eloy sighed. "Stephen, will you stop it? I'm trying to concentrate on the road!"

"Sorry." Stephen paused for the briefest of seconds. "Do I have to go today? Couldn't I just pretend I'm ill?" Stephen winged, sounding like a child on their first day at school.

"You're going. The fans are expecting you."

"But, but, but. . ." Stephen stuttered. "I don't wanna. . ."

Eloy was driving Stephen to Amsterdam's busy Shiphol airport, where Stephen would leave Eloy to go and perform for 100, 000 music fans at London's Party In The Park. It would be Stephen's first appearance in the UK since he came out 3 weeks ago. Normally he was fine in front of large audiences- it was small audiences where he began to panic. This time, however, the fact that all 100, 000 people would know the truth about his sexuality, and not all of them would be Boyzone fans, was beginning to take its toll on Stephen.

"Can't you come with me?"

"Awwww, does little Stephen want me to come on stage with him to hold his hand?" Eloy teased.

Stephen frowned. "I was just asking."

"No I can't. I have to look after Joey. Remember? That little black and white shih-tzu we bought just the other week?" Eloy said, sarcastically, as he pulled into the airport's car park.

Both men got out the car, with Eloy holding Joey's lead. They strolled into the entrance and were immediately greeted by waiting fans. Both Stephen and Eloy stood signing autographs for a few minutes, before it was time for Stephen to board his plane. Although he was very appreciative of all the fans support, he often wished they would respect his privacy and leave him alone.

Conscious that the fans were still watching then, both Stephen and Eloy felt uncomfortable giving a proper goodbye in front of them. Instead, they gave each other an awkward pat on the back.

"Good luck," Eloy whispered. "Not that you'll need it."

"Thanks," Stephen smiled, before boarding his plane, ready to accept his fate from a UK audience.

* * *

Ronan paced around the room nervously. Party In The Park was about to start and 2 members of Boyzone were missing. Although they weren't due on stage for another 6 hours, Ronan would feel much better once the 2 missing Boyzone members turned up. He wasn't too worried about Shane who, having arrived an hour ago, had mysteriously disappeared. Ronan knows what Shane's like and this little episode was exactly what Shane would do. 'He'll turn up again just before we go on stage!' Ronan thought, wryly. Stephen, however. . . Now that was another matter altogether. Ronan was fully aware of how nervous Stephen was about this gig. He hadn't stopped going on about it for a week! Ronan was worried about whether Stephen would turn up today, as was the rest of Boyzone.

"Still no sign?" Keith asked Ronan, whilst peering outside.

"Nope. I hope we're not going to have another repeat of what happened last week!" Ronan replied, emphatically.

Last week, Boyzone had been due to perform at the Michael Jackson and Friends concert. They were forced to perform without Stephen though as he supposedly had missed his flight. Ronan knew better though. Keith and Lisa had been staying around Stephen and Eloy's house the previous night and had managed to make the gig. Ronan knew that Stephen had skived off so he could be with Eloy. Normally Louis would have given him a good ticking off, but he had turned a blind eye to that one. Ronan presumed it was because everyone was just so happy for them both.

Ronan looked nervously around at the journalists who were quickly gathering around backstage. Ronan could hear whispers of Stephen's name being mentioned. Ronan could imagine the headlines tomorrow if Stephen didn't turn up. He knew the journalists couldn't care about Prince Charles' presence at the gig that day, or anything else for that matter. All they cared about was the fact that it was to be Stephen's first UK appearance.

"If he ever turns up, that is," Ronan muttered under his breath.

Just as he had uttered those words, the backstage door opened and Barrie Knight escorted Stephen inside. A big grin broke out on Ronan's face, quickly disappearing as he realised that a hush had grown over the journalists and acts like Steps, The Corrs, and S Club 7, as everyone turned to quickly stare at Stephen, before acting as if they weren't. They were looking at Stephen as if he were some kind of freak.

Ronan warmly greeted Stephen with a hug, not letting on to him about how worried he'd been. Looking questionably at his friend, he asked, "Where've you been?"

Stephen smiled apologetically. "Sorry. I left a bit late this morning. . . Eloy's fault."

Ronan grinned. "Or are you sure it wasn't you, who was too petrified to come on stage today," Ronan asked, teasingly. Stephen blushed. Ronan could read him like a book!

Stephen felt a tap on his shoulder, before a flurry of ginger hair greeted him with a massive bear hug.

"Hi Steve, how are you?"

It was former Spice Girl Geri Halliwell, an old friend of Stephen's. Stephen was pleased to see a friendly face.

"Fine, Geri. You look well, really well!"

Geri squeezed his arm before whispering, "I'm nervous too. It's my first solo appearance today. You'll be alright. Just remember that if you give love, they'll give love."

Stephen smiled, recognising the quote instantly. Geri was into spritual stuff like Stephen and had just repeated a quote from Chicken Soup For The Soul, one of their favourite spiritual books. Geri made Stephen feel more at ease with himself straightaway. Stephen really liked Geri. She isn't judgmental at all and accepts everybody for who they are.

Changing the subject, Geri asked, "Now, where's that GORGEOUS boyfriend of yours?"

Stephen blushed. "At home. Looking after the dog."

Geri, a dog lover herself, was immediately interested. "What breed have you got?"

"A shih-tzu named Joey."

Geri let out a girlish squeal. "I've got a shih-tzu too! Harry!"

Both Stephen and Geri proceeded to talk about dogs, before it was Geri's time to go on stage. It was now only 3 hours until Boyzone would go on stage. Stephen retired to the dressing room to have a few hours to himself before facing the British public- and his British fans- for the first time since coming out.

* * *

"BOYZONE!"

That word was the cue for the band to go on stage. Before entering the stage, Ronan gave Stephen's hand a little squeeze. Stephen was appreciative of the support. The roar of the crowd was deafening. If he'd ever wondered what 100, 000 people sounded like, Stephen was certainly finding that out now.

"Come on!" Ronan was busy working the crowd into a frenzy, before he launched into his solo verse of When The Going Gets Tough. Stephen took the opportunity to survey the crowd. He was pleased to see a banner at the front reading "Stephen Gately, Out & Proud". And was even more pleased to notice some fans holding up the Irish and Dutch flags. He presumed that the Dutch flag was a reference to Eloy, proving that at least some fans had accepted him.

Stephen felt his hands becoming all sweaty as his solo verse drew even closer. As his hand held the microphone stand, he could feel it shaking. Boyzone's band suddenly began to play the little instrumental piece before Stephen was due to sing. The rest of Boyzone were looking at him, eager for everything to work out okay for him.

Stephen opened his mouth, momentarily fearing that no words would come out due to the nervousness of the situation. Thankfully, he needn't have worried as the first line of the second verse came out of his mouth with ease. Stephen tried to close his ears, dreading the reaction.

The crowd, however, went wild. They screamed and screamed their lungs out, giving Stephen the biggest cheer of the day by far. Stephen breathed a huge sigh of relief. It was at that moment that he knew everything was going to be okay. 100, 000 people certainly couldn't be wrong. Ronan patted Stephen on the back, giving him a sign that it was all going to be alright. Stephen turned around and smiled, a look of relief all over his face.

* * *

Stephen lay in Eloy's arms, having just told him about his day at Party In The Park. They were laying on the sofa, watching some 'Friends' DVDs.

"That's great, Steve, it really is! What a relief!"

Stephen smiled, lightly stroking Joey who was sitting on his lap. "Yep! Just think- we're free to live the rest of our lives together without all the secrecy!"

Eloy sighed, enjoying this moment he could spend alone with Stephen. "Can I get a tape of the show? I'd like to see it- I wish I'd been there to support you."

Stephen turned around to face his partner. "Hey, now don't you go feeling guilty! The amount of support you've given me over the past few months is absolutely incredible! I couldn't have coped without you. . . my family, the lads, well, they've all been great, but without you. . ." Stephen's voice trailed off, not feeling the need to complete his sentence as Eloy knew what he was going to say anyway.

"You've been like a pillar of strength to me, Steve, you know that? I wish you'd been around when my dad passed away. . . you'd have certainly made it easier to bear."

Stephen snuggled tight up to Eloy. "Well, I'm here now, that's all that matters. And I hope it stays that way. For a lifetime."

Eloy wrapped his arms around Stephen, softly saying, "So do I, so do I. Forever."

* * *