If Only You Were Mine. . .

This is the 3rd part in a Stephen and Eloy fanfic I wrote about a year ago (2000) about the beginning of the relationship. As I, and nobody else, knows the 'real' truth about how they first got together, I thought you might like to read this completely fictional piece of work which I would like to think is how they got together. In some instances, real events are portrayed.

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Stephen sat at the hotel bar, feeling tired. Caught In The Act and their families and friends were all sat around him, in a far more jovial mood than they had been throughout the concert. Stephen really didn't feel well at all, choosing to lie down on the couch in the corner of the bar. A few minutes later, Eloy joined him.

"You okay, Steve?"

Stephen nodded, "I think our hectic schedule of the past few weeks has just caught up with me! I'll be okay in a minute."

Eloy lightly touched Stephen's arm, before talking Stephen through his current emotions. "I really don't know what to do," he said. "Now the band has split up, I mean. I'd love to start a solo career, but II wouldn't know where to start. I haven't exactly been one of the lead singers of the group. That was always Ben and Bas," he smiled wryly. "What would YOU do?"

Stephen sat up, thinking over the question for a moment or two. "Well, you know me Eloy, I've always planned to eventually go solo. But I really don't think I can answer that question for you. I'm not YOU am I? Although I do think you'd be a great solo artist! Or maybe as a TV presenter- after all, you're presenting Popcorn Live in October aren't you? You have plenty lined up. Besides, you've made more that enough money from the group. I think you're worrying about nothing."

Eloy smiled at his friend's advice. As usual, he was right. "Thanks Steve," Eloy grinned.

"For what?" Stephen said.

Squeezing his arm, Eloy said, "Just for being so right, as usual. And for being such a good friend. Someone I can talk to."

They smiled at each other for a few short moments. Stephen leant forward and kissed Eloy on the cheek. Stunned and embarrassed by himself, Stephen pulled away just as quickly as he had kissed Eloy.

"I-I-I-I," he stumbled over his words, unsure of what to say. "I-I'm sorry. . . I don't know what happened. . . , um, I better go."

He got up, ready to leave but, to his surprise, Eloy pulled him back down. This time, it was Eloy who kissed Stephen on the lips. Stephen was stunned by Eloy's response to his kiss. Looking around, he was relieved to note that everyone else was completely oblivious to what had just happened. Grabbing hold of Stephen's hand, Eloy led him away from the hotel bar. Hiding out of view, they kissed more passionately this time, before they ascended the hotel stairs into Eloy's hotel room. . .

* * *

Stephen opened his eyes and turned over. Eloy's naked body lay next to him. Memories of the previous night suddenly came flooding back to Stephen. He grinned at the thought.

"Who'd have thought we'd end up making love?" he silently said to himself. Eloy stirred from next to him, interrupting Stephen's thoughts.

Looking up at Stephen, Eloy smiled. "Hi," he said.

"Hi," Stephen replied. Unsure of what to do next, Stephen decided to take a shower. Having a shower gave time for Stephen to mull over what had happened, away from Eloy. Back in the hotel room, Eloy was doing the same. Stephen sighed. On the one hand he was pleased it had happened. He'd longed for something to happen between him and Eloy for so long. . . But, now it had, he wasn't entirely sure it was the right thing to do. He knew he was in love with Eloy but the question was, does Eloy feel the same way? Sighing again, he climbed out of the shower. Embarrassed, he noticed Eloy watching him. Eloy was already dressed.

"Well, I better go!" he said cheerfully, oblivious to the pain apparent in Stephen's eyes as those words passed Eloy's lips. Nodding sullenly, Stephen said goodbye.

But, before Eloy left, Stephen grabbed onto his arm saying "When will I see you again?"

Shaking off Stephen's firm grip, he replied "Probably at Popcorn Live." Noticing the shocked expression on Stephen's face, Eloy added, "You ARE there with Boyzone aren't you?" Stephen nodded, a lone tear rolling down his cheek. Smiling, Eloy wiped it away, before giving Stephen a long, lingering kiss on the cheek. "I think it's for the best, don't you?"

Stephen nodded, a numb feeling in his stomach. Eloy left the room, taking one last glance at Stephen, before shaking his head and descending the hotel stairs. . .

* * *

Stephen arrived back at the Boyzone hotel feeling rather dejected. He could hear the familiar sound of the lads coming from inside the building. The voices were raised, with a slight worried tone to them.

"Well, he can't have just disappeared!" Ronan exclaimed.

"Look," Barrie said. "I went to pick him up and he never turned up. He's probably gone to stay with Eloy or something. You know what he's like!"

Stephen groaned as he realised that he'd forgotten that Barrie was going to pick him up. His groan must have been a lot louder than he thought because, at that moment, they all turned around, the worry on their face's disappearing the moment they saw him.

"Steve!" Keith called, embracing his friend with a massive bear hug. "We were all so worried about you! Where have you been?" Stephen smiled, appreciative of their concern for him.

"Oh, nowhere," he said, nonchalantly. "I stayed with Eloy at a hotel out of town."

Barrie smirked. "See!" he said, with a smug look on his face, knowing that he was right.

Ronan ignored him, instead turning to Stephen and saying, "We've got the day off today. We're going to spend the day go-karting! Wanna come?" Ronan smiled, knowing full well that Stephen would grimace at the thought of spending a whole day go-karting. He hated it! The look of horror on Stephen's face said it all.

"No thanks," he said. "I'm a bit tired. I think I will go and have a lie down for a bit."

"You okay Steo?" Keith asked, with a concerned look on his face.

"Yeah. I had a bit of a late night that's all." Stephen smiled. "You go, go on!"

The lads looked at each other. They knew that when Stephen was in a funny mood, they should just leave him. Saying goodbye, they headed off for the go-kart track, leaving Stephen to sulk on his own.

Stephen headed off to his hotel room. Once the door was close, he was left in peace to think about what had happened with Eloy. God, he missed him so much! His touch. . . his kiss. . . his laugh. . . everything! 'What I'd do to turn the clock back. . .' Stephen thought. At times like this, he either picked up a self-help book or wrote a song in order to express his feelings. Looking at his copy of Conversations With God in the corner, he opted to do the latter. Taking a piece of paper and a pencil, he began to write. . .

Calling the song 'Where Do We Go', he placed it in his suitcase, before falling asleep in a crumpled heap on his bed. . .

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