If Only You Were Mine. . .

This is the 8th Chapter of a Stephen and Eloy fanfic I wrote about a year ago (2000) about the beginning of the relationship. As I, and nobody else, knows the 'real' truth about how they first got together, I thought you might like to read this completely fictional piece of work which I would like to think is how they got together. In some instances, real events are portrayed.

* * *

"Stephen, Stephen, Stephen, Stephen!" Stephen's head bounced up and down as his nephew, Jordan, attempted to wake him up by jumping up and down on his bed. Stephen slowly opened one eye and lifted his head cautiously- only for his head to come crashing back down on the bed as Jordan hit him with a pillow.

"Ouch!" Stephen exclaimed, closing his eyes. Jordan carefully clambered on top of Stephen, and cautiously crawled over to where he lay.

"Stephen? Uncle Steve?" Jordan's concerned voice turned into more of a whimper as he began to cry out for help. Just as he began to call his mummy, telling her that Stephen was dead, Stephen quickly grabbed a pillow, hitting Jordan over the head, before grabbing him and tickling him in the place where Jordan was the most ticklish. Jordan giggled, before his giggles turned into more of a scream.

Michelle walked into the bedroom, laughing at the site before her. Jordan's head was hanging off the bed and Stephen had his arms around his waist. Every time Stephen tickled him, his leg would jerk and Jordan would giggle some more.

"What are you like?" Michelle laughed. "Stephen, ah will ya stop it ya eejit- you're getting him all excited!" Stephen finally stopped, worn out from playing with Jordan. It was a long time since he had seen Michelle and Jordan. Boyzone had recently finished their tour and, after recording a TV appearance a couple of days ago, Stephen had headed home for a couple of days before the Popcorn Live event that was taking place today. Although Stephen had moved into his own house earlier in the month (and also done an OK! Magazine photo shoot with it), he felt a bit lonely in a big old house all by himself. This was why he had decided to stay with his sister and her family for the 2 days he was home.

Stephen pulled Jordan up off the bed, catching Michelle's smiling eye as he did so. "What?" he asked her.

"Oh nothing. You just seem a lot happier these days. Especially today. What's going on?"

Stephen blushed, replying coyly, "Do I? Well, I feel just the same. . . " His voice trailed off as he recognised the disbelieving look that was so apparent on Michelle's face.

"Well, I don't believe you! Come on, you can tell me! We tell each other everything!"

Stephen knew what Michelle was saying was true. They always told each other their secrets. She WAS his best friend after all. And Stephen was dying to tell someone about Eloy. The rest of the lads knew, of course, but he was desperate to tell someone absolutely EVERYTHING about their relationship. The lads only knew a tiny part of it. Stephen paused, before taking a deep breath.

"I think. . . no, I KNOW, I'm in love with somebody. It's the most amazing feeling! I've never felt like this before. It's magical, absolutely magical!"

Michelle smiled, before casually saying, "Stephen? Have you got a boyfriend?"

Going bright red, like he always did, he exclaimed, "No!" He looked at Michelle's twinkling eyes, realising she didn't believe him. "Well, there is a special someone in my life, but we're not going out. Yet."

"And this person. . . does he have a name?"

"Well, of course he has a name!!! What kind of idiot do you take me for?"

"And. . . "

"What?"

Michelle rolled her eyes. "His name. . . ?"

"Eloy. Eloy de Jong. He's in the business. He's dead nice. He's lovely, handsome, sweet, kind, he's. . ."

"Caught In The Act, right?"

Stephen looked gob smacked. He didn't expect Michelle to know who he was as he wasn't known in Ireland. "Yes. How did you know?"

"You've mentioned him before."

"Have I?" Stephen couldn't remember ever talking about Eloy to Michelle before. Although they were good friends, he hadn't introduced him to his family before as they were never in the same country at the same time for more than a few hours. "When have I mentioned him?"

"Only a thousand times," Michelle replied, winking at her younger brother.

Stephen blushed yet again. "Was I that obvious?"

"You came home after a trip into Europe and couldn't stop talking about him. It was Eloy this and Eloy that. After a while it stopped, but I guess that's because you became good mates. But just recently, you've started talking about him again. It's obvious how you feel about him. The question is, does he feel the same?"

Stephen paused, thinking about his sister's question. "Yes, he does. I wasn't too sure at first. He was a bit cold towards me for a while, but I think that's because he'd never felt those feelings for me before. Once he'd worked it all out in his head, he told me he loved me. But he wants me to wait for him. He doesn't want to commit himself to a relationship until he's got a few work things sorted out."

Michelle smiled, listening intently. "He obviously respects you."

Stephen nodded. "We told each other that we would wait until today and then take things from there."

"Ah, so that's why you couldn't get to sleep last night!" Michelle said. "And also why you called out his name a few times in your sleep."

"I didn't?!?!?!?"

Michelle winked at her brother, before saying, "Nah. . . just wanted to wind you up!"

Stephen shook his head, before hitting Michelle with the pillow he used to hit Jordan.

They sat in silence for a while, thinking about the conversation they'd just had. Glancing at his watch, Stephen realised that it was getting late.

"Cripes! I have a plane to catch in an hour! Must have got mixed up again!" Michelle smiled. Although he was always punctual, it was just like her brother to mix up the plane times. He often had to call her to ask her which country he was supposed to be in! Shaking her head, Michelle left her brother to get ready in peace. Going downstairs, she picked up the phone and called their parents to tell them the good news. Stephen's finally in love.

* * *

Stephen walked through Germany's bustling airport, signing a few autographs as he went. "Stephen?" a voice inquired. Presuming it was yet another autograph hunter, Stephen absentmindedly signed the piece of paper the person was holding. This was met by a badly stifled giggle. Looking up, Stephen squinted against the slight sunlight which was shining through the window. Smiling broadly, Stephen greeted the person with a hug. "Eloy!" he exclaimed. Pulling away from Eloy he asked, "What are you doing here?"

Eloy grinned. "Ronan told me what time you'd be arriving and so I thought I'd come and surprise you!"

"Are the rest of the lads here already?"

"Yep. They're at the arena, just waiting for you."

Picking up Stephen's suitcase, Eloy led him over to his car, throwing the suitcase in the boot. Stephen got into the passenger seat, as Eloy revved up the engine. Soon they were on the way to the arena.

* * *

Eloy drove through the busy streets of Cologne, the sound of Madonna blaring through the stereo.

Sighing, Stephen said, "I love this song!"

Stephen wound down the window of the car, as both men sang along to the song.

"Mmm, Frozen. . . when your heart's not broken," they sang, letting the wind rush through their hair.

"Madonna's great isn't she? A real star!" Eloy said.

Stephen nodded. "I've met Madonna a couple of times." Eloy looked impressed. "The first time was in France when we were doing a show with her. She was coming down the stairs as I was going up. I said hello and we ended up having a bit of a chat. And then I've met her a few times since. The funny thing is that she always remembers me, but not the rest of the guys!!"

"Well, you always remember a good looking guy. . ." Eloy said, noticing the redness of Stephen's blushing skin under the sunlight.

"Stephen?" Eloy asked. "Why do you always blush when someone compliments you? It's nothing to be embarrassed about, you know."

Stephen sighed, winding his window back up "I know- I just can't help it. I was really shy at school and used to go red when someone just talked to me. I'm a bit better now, but I still go bright red."

Eloy smiled, turning his car right into the arena. They passed some screaming fans, most were there to see 'N Sync, but Stephen noticed a few Boyzone banners.

'It's a good thing the car windows are blacked out,' Stephen thought to himself. 'We don't want rumours about me and Eloy to start just yet.'

Eloy parked the car out of view from the fans. Stephen reached out to open the door. Eloy placed one hand over his, preventing Stephen from opening the door.

"Stephen?" Eloy cleared his throat, wringing his hands nervously. "We promised a month ago that we would wait until today til we start any sort of relationship. . . well, since leaving you that day, I have missed you so much. In fact, I love you so much it hurts. God, I feel like a love sick teenager!" Eloy grinned wryly, as Stephen motioned for him to carry on. "But, the Caught In The Act stuff is practically all over now. Just a press conference at the end of November really. Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I love you and I want to be with you. I just hope you feel the same way." Eloy looked at Stephen, hopefully waiting for his reaction. Stephen was smiling broadly, his bright blue eyes shining.

"I feel the same," he said quietly. Looking at each other, they grabbed hands and stared into each other's eyes. At that moment, they were head over heels in love and were oblivious to anything else other than their obvious feelings for each other.

Sighing, Eloy stroked Stephen's face. "We better be getting inside. Everyone will be wondering what's happened to us. I'm needed for rehearsals and you need to soundcheck with Boyzone." Smiling, Eloy kissed Stephen's hand. "We'll talk some more about this later, yeah? At the aftershow party, maybe? It's probably best if we're not seen together backstage at the actual show. The press might get suspicious."

Stephen nodded in agreement, although a dark shadow had now been cast over their relationship. Stephen didn't want to hide Eloy from the world. He was fed up of keeping secrets! He had always said that he would tell everybody when he met the right person. Stephen now knew that the right person was sitting in the car with him. It would only be a matter of time before the press found out. Stephen knew that. But, he felt trapped. There was no way out of the situation. No way he could see, anyway. By sneaking around, it felt like he and Eloy were having some sort of illicit affair. It made their love for each other seem dirty and disgusting. Shaking his head, Stephen sighed, before getting out of Eloy's car and following him into the building.

* * *

Eloy tried to stop his hand from shaking. All attempts failed. Toby, Eloy's co-presenter, laughed at how nervous Eloy was.

"Anyone would have thought you'd never performed in front of thousands of people before!"

Eloy managed to stop shaking long enough to answer, "I've performed before, but not done any presenting like this. And, on top of that, I'll be performing solo!"

Even after a day of rehearsals, Eloy felt he wasn't prepared for Popcorn Live. They were due on stage in 5 minutes and Eloy felt paralysed with fear. Eloy suddenly felt a hand on his arm. Turning round, he smiled as he saw Stephen.

"Good luck," Stephen whispered, giving Eloy's arm a little squeeze. Eloy felt better already!

"Thanks. You too," he breathed, before taking a deep breath and walking on stage with Toby.

Stephen watched as Eloy began to speak. Stephen smiled wryly as Eloy spoke in German. 'I can't even speak English properly, let alone German!' he thought. Stephen had always been impressed with the multi-lingual ability of Eloy. He could speak Dutch, English, German and French fluently. Stephen smiled as Eloy continued to speak on stage. He felt so proud of his boyfriend! Stopping himself, Stephen suddenly realised that he'd just referred to Eloy as his boyfriend for the first time. Stephen grinned.

"What's wrong?" the rest of the lads asked him.

"Oh nothing," Stephen replied. "Just watching Eloy. That's my man!"

The rest of the lads smiled, pleased to see Stephen looking so happy.

"That's great, really great. I'm so pleased you're happy," Keith said, before sitting down to watch the rest of the show at the side of the stage.

Stephen continued to be impressed by Eloy's presence on stage. He watched as Eloy introduced act after act after act. Soon Benjamin Boyce was on stage. Boyzone were due on stage shortly afterwards. Stephen and the rest of Boyzone hurried to get changed before waiting at the side of the stage ready to walk on.

Eloy and Toby were sat on the stage, ready to introduce them.

"What do you think of Boyzone, Eloy?" Toby asked.

Eloy grinned. "I've just bought their new album. It's full of wonderfully written ballads."

"Do you know Picture Of You from the Mr Bean movie?"
Eloy nodded, before launching into his rendition of the song. Toby looked impressed as he sang the chorus word for word perfect.

Winking, Eloy said, "They're very good friends of mine. It's Boyzone!"

There were mediocre screams from the audience as the band went on stage. Stephen sighed, knowing that all the other acts performing that day were probably more popular in Germany than Boyzone were. Stephen looked at the rest of the lads, who each had a glum expression on their face. Stephen, on the other hand, couldn't stop grinning as the band launched into All That I Need.

Eloy stood at the side of the stage, watching Boyzone. Every so often he would catch Stephen's eye and Stephen would grin at him. Eloy had tears in his eyes as they sang No Matter What. 'It could have almost been written specifically about Stephen,' Eloy thought. 'That line- I Can't Be What I'm Not- it's so true!'

Boyzone were soon off stage, and Eloy and Toby were introducing 'N Sync as the last act. . .

* * *

"Are you coming, Steve?" Ronan asked.

"No, I'm going to the party," Stephen replied. Ronan looked surprised. Stephen never went to show biz parties!

"Oh. Okay. Well, I guess we'll see you back at the hotel later or tomorrow. . ."

Stephen nodded, saying his goodbyes, before trying to find a way of getting to the party. Eloy would be joining him later as he still had some things to do.

"Hey Steve. Do you want a lift?"

Stephen turned around to see Ritchie Neville from the boy band Five.

"'N Sync have got a limo and so me and Take 5 are going with them. Fancy coming?"

Stephen looked very doubtful. He hated limo's, but he had no alternative way to get to the party. After a few seconds, he agreed, making his way with Ritchie to 'N Sync's limo outside. Climbing inside, the limo sped off, passing screaming fans, and making its way to the Popcorn Live aftershow party. . .

* * *

Stephen's mobile rang. Answering it, he was pleased to hear his sister's voice at the other end. Smiling, he began to chat to her. Stephen had arrived at the aftershow party about half an hour ago. He was stood by himself at a table, waiting for Eloy to arrive. He didn't have to wait long. As he was chatting to his sister, he saw Eloy's head bobbing up and down over the crowd. Stephen smiled. 'There's no chance of me ever losing him!' he thought.

Eloy made his way over to the table where Stephen was standing.

"Hey," he mouthed.

"Hey," Stephen mouthed back. "Michelle? I'm going have to go now, okay?"

Eloy waited patiently as Stephen ended his conversation with his sister. Eloy's ears pricked up when he heard Stephen say, "Yes. Yes, he's here." The redness of Stephen's face at that moment showed Eloy that they were talking about him.

Eloy smiled at Stephen as he finally placed his mobile in his pocket.

"You were great today, E!" Stephen said warmly.

Now it was Eloy's turn to blush. "Thank you," he said quietly.

"Now who's blushing?!?!?!?" Stephen teased him, making Eloy go even redder.

They carried on talking for a few minutes, discussing the show and their careers. Suddenly, looking around, Eloy interrupted Stephen. "We can't really talk here."

"Well, what have we just been doing?" Stephen replied, teasing Eloy slightly.

"No, I mean, PROPERLY," Eloy said, with added emphasis. "I mean, about us."

Stephen nodded, understanding that, before they officially started any relationship, they needed to talk about it.

Looking at Stephen, Eloy pointed at his watch. "Meet you at my hotel room in 10 minutes?"

"Okay. Won't that look a bit too suspicious? I mean, me going into your hotel room?"

Eloy rolled his eyes. "So make sure no one sees you, okay?" Sighing, Eloy said, "Look Stephen. This is what it's going to be like from now on. Always sneaking around, trying to conceal our love for each other. So you may as well get used to it."

Stephen nodded, completely understanding and aware of what Eloy was saying.

Stephen watched as Eloy left the party, turning around to look at Stephen one more time before leaving.

Stephen looked down at the drink he was holding in his hand. The glass was shaking because of his trembling hand. Placing the glass up to his lips sipped his drink, before putting it back on the table. Looking at his watch, he saw that it was 5 minutes since Eloy left. Picking up the glass again, he took one last long sip before placing the glass back down and leaving the party, heading back to the hotel to meet Eloy. . .

* * *