If Only You Were Mine. . .

This is the 9th part in a Stephen and Eloy fanfic I wrote about a year ago (2000) about the beginning of the relationship. As I, and nobody else, knows the 'real' truth about how they first got together, I thought you might like to read this completely fictional piece of work which I would like to think is how they got together. In some instances, real events are portrayed.

* * *

Eloy sat in his darkened hotel room, nervously awaiting Stephen's arrival. Clasping his hands together, they were all sweaty from his nerves. He had an uneasy feeling in his stomach, a kind of lurching feeling, like he was going to be sick.

"Come on Eloy, calm down. Everything's going to be fine," Eloy silently prayed to himself. He was interrupted by a knock at the door. Taking a deep breath, Eloy moved from the bed in the middle of the room and slowly opened the door.

Puzzled, Eloy peered into the corridor. There was no one there! Shaking his head, he went back into his room, silently hoping that Stephen hadn't changed his mind.

Before he had the chance to sit back down again, there was another knock at the door. This time, Eloy opened the door a lot quicker. Staring into the corridor, there was a pair of beautiful blue eyes staring back at him. Eloy turned on the light and saw Stephen standing there. "Hey," Eloy grinned, motioning for Stephen to come inside.

"Sorry about that," Stephen apologised.

"Was that you at the door before?" Eloy inquired.

Stephen nodded. "There were some fans hanging around and so I didn't think it was wise to be seen going into your hotel room."

Eloy rolled his eyes. "Stephen. . . people are more likely to suspect something if you start acting suspiciously! Besides, we have absolutely nothing to hide. Anybody would think that you were ashamed of me."

Stephen gasped. "Oh God, no, Eloy, of course I'm not! It's just that. . . well, you do understand that as long as I'm in Boyzone, and as long as we're together, we are going to have to be secretive about this."

Eloy nodded slowly. "Stephen? I've never felt the way I do about anyone before. The mention of your name sends shivers of excitement down my spine, you're the first person I think about in the morning and the last person I think about at night. . . I think about you all the time, I miss you when we're not together. . . I long to be with you all the time and, more importantly, I want us to spend the rest of our lives together."

Stephen sat in silence for a few moments, whilst Eloy poured him a glass of champagne from the bottle he had ordered just before Stephen had arrived.

A wide grin suddenly broke out on Stephen's face. "You don't know how long I've waited to hear you say that."

Eloy began grinning too. Placing the glasses of champagne on the bedside table, he went and sat down opposite Stephen on the bed. Both men were grinning like Cheshire cats. They grabbed each other's hands and stared into each other's eyes. It was at that moment that they had realised exactly how much they meant to each other and how in love they really were. For Stephen, though, he knew that he had found his soul mate; the person who he was going to be with for the rest of his life. He also knew that his mother had been right when she'd told him a few years earlier that you shouldn't search for your soul mate. Instead, the right person won't pass you by. The right person had been staring straight at him for 4 years and Stephen hadn't realised! Stephen giggled.

"What?" Eloy asked in his soft Dutch accent.

"Oh nothing. I was just thinking about how we've wasted the past 4 years dating other people when we should have been together!"

Eloy smiled. "I know what you mean. I guess we'll have to make up for all that time we wasted," Eloy said with a wink.

"E? Do you really think this will work? I mean, you're based in Holland, I'm based in Ireland. . . it'll be more like a long distance relationship than anything!"

"Well we'll have to make sure we're together nearly all the time then."

Stephen sighed. "But you're about to start a solo career and I'll be busy with Boyzone. . ." his voice trailed off.

Quietly, Eloy said, "Well, I only have a few TV appearances to do. I'm sure I can put my career on hold for a little while, so that we can be together."

Stephen had tears in his eyes as he said, "You mean you'd really do that? For me?"

Nodding, Eloy said, "Like I said. Making up for lost time."

Stephen sighed, constantly enjoying this precious time he and Eloy could spend together. Although he knew the relationship would have to be kept a secret, he felt relieved to know that he was with someone who was in the same position as him; someone who had also had to keep his sexuality a secret and would have no problems keeping this a secret either.

Eloy crawled up to the top of the bed, reaching out for the 2 glasses of champagne he has left on the bedside table earlier. He gave one glass to Stephen and kept one for himself. They clinked glasses, as they celebrated the beginning of their relationship with each other, all the while still holding hands.

Putting their empty glasses down, Eloy pulled Stephen up close to his chest, and held him in a tight hug. They lay like that until the sun rose in the morning. . .

* * *

Stephen was woken by the sound of a cockerel crowing outside. Opening his eyes, for a brief moment he forgot where he was. Looking down, he saw Eloy's hands clasped in his own. Not wanting to move for fear of waking Eloy up unnecessarily, Stephen kept still, listening to the sound of Eloy's heartbeat as he lay upon his chest. Stifling a giggle, Stephen realised that he and Eloy were still fully clothed. 'We were so tired from our heart to heart last night that we didn't bother getting changed!' Stephen thought.

Stephen suddenly felt Eloy's lips upon his forehead. Looking up, he saw that Eloy had woken.

"Morning. . . sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

Eloy shook his head. "You didn't. I've been awake for a half an hour or so. Just enjoying watching you sleep, that's all!"

For about the billionth time in his life, Stephen blushed. "I wasn't. . . well, snoring, was I?"

Eloy threw back his head and laughed. "No!!!! But, has anybody ever told you that you look like a baby when you sleep? All peaceful, sweet, innocent and serene. . . you looked absolutely beautiful laying there like that."

Stephen felt himself going even redder than he was before, if that was at all possible. Normally in situations like that, Stephen would feel uncomfortable but, for some reason, he felt entirely comfortable doing anything in front of Eloy. He also felt like he could confide in Eloy and tell him absolutely anything. 'I guess that's what relationships are all about,' Stephen thought to himself.

"Right, well I'm going to have a shower!" Eloy declared, lifting Stephen up and climbing out of bed. As Eloy was taking his shower, Stephen opted to get changed, choosing a simple white t-shirt and jeans. Unsure of what to do next, Stephen decided to sit on the bed. Feeling bored, he picked up a simple white envelope, curious as to what was inside. There were 3 simple photographs inside. Stephen guessed they were of Eloy's family.

"That's my mum there," a voice from behind Stephen pointed out.

Startled, Stephen dropped the pictures. Feeling guilty he said, "Sorry. I wasn't prying, I was just. . ."

Eloy smiled. "That's okay. You'll be meeting my family sooner or later anyway."

Stephen stared at the second picture, gob smacked at the beautiful woman sitting next to Eloy.

"My sister, Lucienne," Eloy explained.

"You've talked about her many times before. . . she's beautiful".

Eloy smiled proudly. "That's her fianc� next to me. They're getting married in 11 days time, so I'm really looking forward to that! I've seen her in her wedding dress and she is going to be the best bride!"

Looking at the 3rd picture, Stephen saw an old-looking man with a younger boy. "Who's. . . " Stephen said, being interrupted by Eloy before he had chance to finish his sentence.

"That's my dad and my cousin," Eloy said quietly.

Stephen knew that Eloy's dad had died 2 years previously, and his 18 year old cousin had died of leukemia only weeks later. Stephen knew how much their deaths had hurt Eloy. He had never been as close to his dad as he was to his mother and sister, but his dad had never accepted Eloy's sexuality. He had died hating his son and Stephen knew that was what hurt Eloy the most. His cousin, Rudi, on the other hand was his best friend. Stephen knew it had been a terrible shock when he eventually died.

Stephen looked up at Eloy, seeing the sadness that was apparent in his eyes. "I'm sorry," Eloy whispered quietly. "I wish we had been together then. I would have supported you through everything."

Eloy squeezed Stephen's arm. "I know you would have, baby. But the important thing is that we're together now. You can support me in the future, like I'll support you."

Stephen nodded, realising just how lucky he was to have Eloy with him now. Stephen hoped that it would last forever. . .

* * *

Ronan, Yvonne, Keith, Lisa, Mikey and Shane walked together down the corridor. Passing Stephen's hotel room, Yvonne commented, "Shall we wake Stephen?"

Ronan shook his head. "Let him have a bit of a lie in. We don't need to be at the airport for another few hours yet. Just let him rest."

"I didn't hear Stephen come in last night actually. And I was on the phone quite late talking to Karen," Mikey said, whose hotel room was right next to Stephen's.

"I guess that party must have gone on until quite late. . ." Keith mused.

"It's not like Stephen to go to these show biz parties anyhow. I'm worried about him. He's been acting dead weird just lately," Shane expressed, voicing his concern.

"Ah, I'm sure it's nothing. Now will ya all stop worrying like big eejits so we can go and get some food- I'm starved!" Ronan said, as his stomach rumbled.

They continued to descend a few flights of stairs, from their rooms which were on the very top floor.

"Ro? I'm tired. Let's take the lift, yeah?" Yvonne said, pointing to a lift which was free. The last few lifts they had passed weren't free. As Yvonne was already 4 months pregnant, Ronan thought it would be wise.

"Of course Wivvy, whatever you say. Yeah, guys?" Ronan said, turning to the rest of the group.

They were all in agreement but, just as they went to the lift, a young family of 4 disappeared inside and the lift ascended. Deciding to wait, they all stood around in silence.

Ronan heard a door open at the end of the corridor, causing him to turn round. Squinting, he could just make out the singer Bl�mchen who had also performed at Popcorn Live the previous night. He watched as she went down the stairs at that end of the room. Another door opened, this time a lot closer to where Ronan and the others were standing and so he could make out who it was very easily. A young couple appeared at the door of the room that had just opened. Ronan's jaw dropped to the ground as he saw them hug and kiss each other.

"Guys!" Ronan hissed. "Look- Stephen and Eloy."

The commotion which Ronan was making caused all the others to turn round, staring wide-eyed at Stephen quietly sneaking out of Eloy's hotel room.

Stephen stopped when he saw the lads staring at him, questionably.

"Before you ask, no, nothing like that happened. We spent the whole night talking and I ended up staying over. But that was ALL," he warned. "Although, I should tell you that I'll probably be spending a lot of time in Holland now."

Stephen winked at the group, before entering the now stationary lift. "Ground floor?" he asked. The rest of the group crowded into the lift as it descended. Hearing a couple of beeps from his pocket, Stephen reached inside and pulled out his mobile. He had a text message. 'Missing you already' the message from Eloy said. Stephen smiled as he wrote back, 'Me too.'

* * *