The Mirror- September 23rd 2000

I WANT TO ADOPT A CHILD BECAUSE I'VE GOT SO MUCH LOVE TO GIVE

Gay Boyzone star Stephen Gately says he adores children and would like to start a family.

He is now one of pop's best-known gay stars, but that seems to have done little to harm Stephen Gately's image as a teenage pin-up. Within minutes of arriving for our photo shoot on a patch of wasteground in London, a crowd of more than 30 fans, mostly girls, have crowded around and he is struggling to satisfy their enthusiasm.

"Go on, give us a kiss, Steve!" a young girl cries. "Sign this for us!" shout many of the others. He smiles indulgently, scribbles his name countless times, and small-talks with the ease of a natural pop-star.

In a music industry where image is critical and sex appeal essential, particularly in the fickle teen market, Gately has got away with the unthinkable. At the peak of his career with the hugely successful boy band Boyzone, he broke all taboos by confessing he was gay and revealing that he had a secret boyfriend.

Just over a year later, he's emerged more popular than ever and, as we relax after the photo shoot, it's clear his confidence has grown and he's a lot more open now. He even happily reveals that his relationship with Dutch-born singer Eloy de Jong is so strong they want to adopt a child together.

He fumbles for the right words as he explains why he feels he's ready for fatherhood. High on the list is the fact that his band pals Ronan Keating, Keith Duffy and Shane Lynch are all dads. Also, having a more than healthy bank balance means he can easily afford the extra costs that children bring.

"I've always wanted kids, ever since I could remember," he says. "I've got a lot of security to offer a child and you shouldn't leave it too late to have one. Ronan had his first one at 22. I'm 24 now so it's not too early.

"I'd make sure he or she was comfortable, but also that they respected what they had and were aware that some people have very little money. To me, though, the most important lesson in life a child can learn is to have manners. I hate rudeness and people being judgmental. It costs nothing to be nice and manners go a long way in life."

Stephen seems unaware just how rocky the adoption road can be. Either the recent controversy of gay couples adopting children has totally eluded him or he doesn't want to get involved in such a debate. He is aware of the two famous 'gay dads' - millionaires Tony Barlow and Barrie Drewitt from Essex, who fathered surrogate twins in America last year and are in the process of doing the same with triplets. But when asked his views he is vague.

"Yes, I do know about the gay dads, I've read the news about them and I think, good on them," he says. "And I don't really know where we stand in this country on gay couples adopting children. Eloy and I still have to look into all of this.

"All I know is I'm good with babies. I've always loved them and I love being with children. I used to teach them drama and dance years ago. My four-year-old nephew Jordan is also my godson. He's a great kid, and he's been good training for me. His mother, my sister Michelle, is expecting her second child in November - I can't wait."

Any couple need a solid relationship before contemplating having children and Stephen says he has truly met the love of his life, his real soulmate, in Eloy (pronounced Ely) who is 27. His face lights up as he talks about him with unashamed affection.

"I've found the love of my life, he's really sweet, very sensitive, handsome, tall and he's my best friend," he smiles. "I once even sent him 500 white roses with one red rose in the middle when I was going away for a few days."

Eloy himself is in a boy band - Caught In The Act - and is a huge star in Europe. The pair first met six years ago at a concert but it wasn't until two years ago that they became lovers. When he finally told the world he was not only gay, but in love with Eloy, he felt an immense weight lift from his shoulders, marking the end of a period of "stress and worry".

"For years I avoided questions about my love life, dreading that people would find out," he says. "It was very stressful indeed. If I hadn't been famous I probably would have just told my family and friends quietly one day and that would have been that. But I knew this was going to big news and it was. Even the New York Times carried the story."

One of the first people Stephen confided in was his sister Michelle, who had guessed anyway. She just shrugged and said, "I always thought you were". But it took him another five months to pluck up the courage to tell his fellow band members. He says they were supportive, but, knowing their continuing success depended on the ongoing loyalty of their female, record-buying fans, decided to keep it secret.

Stephen admits he found coping with this deception the hardest thing of all. "In interviews I learned to get around a question without telling a lie," he says. "When I was asked what girls I liked, I always chose the ones I genuinely admire, like Madonna and Janet Jackson."

To cope, he says he immersed himself in self-help books about how to keep calm in a crisis and turned to Chakra, a form of chanting, but the stress continued to intensify.

"Eloy and I had to travel in separate planes, stay in separate hotels, arrive at restaurants at different times... There was a point when I reached total exhaustion and was on the verge of collapsing and running away from it all," he says quietly.

Finally, in June 1999, he couldn't stand living a lie any longer and "came out". Fearing a nasty backlash, Stephen was apprehensive, but once it became apparent that the reaction to his disclosure was incredibly positive, he was overjoyed.

"The media was brilliant, hats off to them, they could have given me a very rough time indeed but they didn't," he says. "I also gained a lot of respect from within the industry. Elton John sent me flowers and I got calls from the Spice Girls, Sinead O'Connor, Paul O'Grady, the Backstreet Boys and George Michael all offering their support and best wishes.

"Then there were the fans. I got thousands of letters. I mean heart-rendering letters from young people who'd been living a lie like me and were suicidal. Suddenly they'd read about me and felt some hope and it was amazing. I couldn't have wished for any more."

Now Stephen and Eloy can enjoy a good life together without the terrible pressure they were under. Home is divided between Eloy's pounds 1m lake-side mansion near Amsterdam and Stephen's impressive converted mill, just outside Dublin, which he bought two years ago. He's currently busy with plans to build a sauna, gym and swimming pool in one of the outbuildings. Stephen says he loves nothing more than spending time with Eloy. "We're like two lads together really," he smiles. "We go to the pub and have a drink, play darts, pool and video games. We do our weekly grocery shopping together. In fact, we do everything together."

Stephen says there's no one who understands him more than Eloy. The fact that they are both in the same business helps a lot and, despite their obvious physical differences - Eloy's a strapping 6ft 2ins tall, while Stephen's a diminutive 5ft 5ins - they have a great deal in common.

"Yeah, he's a big star on the Continent. The Backstreet Boys even supported his band which shows how massive they are. He really understands what I've gone through," says Stephen. "I've met his family and he's met mine. They all get on great and his family are lovely. His mum looks after our dogs, Joey and Woody, when we're away from Holland. I've also learned a bit of Dutch but it's nothing like Eloy who is fluent in three different languages."

Stephen shuns glitzy showbiz parties and prefers quiet evenings in with Eloy and the dogs, but the luxurious lifestyle he now enjoys is a far cry from his childhood. He was born, the fourth of five children, in Sheriff Street, Dublin - which he describes as "one of the toughest areas of the city".

"I know what it's like to have no money," he continues. "I remember having to wear a pair of shoes to school which had a couple of holes in them. They were stuffed with cardboard so the rain wouldn't get in. To this day I love buying myself new shoes, I'll never get fed up with that!"

By the time he was 14, Stephen, who had always harboured a strong desire to escape the life he'd been born into, was dreaming of stardom.

"I'd practice my autograph over and over again on the back of school books. I remember one kid once laughed at me for doing it and I told him, 'That'll be worth something one day'. About three years ago I met him in the street and he said, 'You know, you were right all along'."

The big break he'd been dreaming of came in his final year at school, 1993. He beat 200 other hopefuls to join Irish entrepreneur Louis Walsh's boy band Boyzone who had a deal with Polydor Records. The hits just rolled out and they achieved a string of No 1 hits including Baby Can I Hold You, All That I Need, Going Gets Tough, You Needed Me and Words.

"It wasn't just me who'd done so well. None of us came from rich families," he says. "We all had a hunger to do well but we're just normal people with normal problems. Some of us have kids, some are married, one of us is gay... you just don't get that in your average boy band."

Stephen, like his fellow band members, has taken a break from Boyzone to pursue his own projects. "We still phone each other and meet up for drinks and things," he says. "We're probably doing a big tour next year, so I'm looking forward to that."

His second solo single, I Believe, features on the soundtrack of new British film Billy Elliot, starring Julie Walters, which opens on Friday. "I'm such a big fan of hers and we shared a few glasses of champagne. She's very sweet. Funnily enough, her daughter is a big fan of Boyzone and was as desperate to get a picture taken with me as I was to get a picture with her mother."

Stephen says he'd also like to break into acting. "I've got a small cameo role in the Harry Potter film, which is very exciting, but while I'd like to get into acting and films, my real love is for music. I will never give that up, it's given me so much in return."

Stephen's single, I Believe - from his album New Beginning - is released on October 2.