PoP tHeRaPy:
"I wAs So ShY"
Everyone lacks confidence at times, but what if you went bright red whenever some one tried to talk to you? STEPHEN GATELY tells us how he was painfully shy.
So, Stephen, what's this about?
Yeah, I was so shy. My mum will tell you- I was so quiet I hardly ever talked. If someone spoke to me in class, I'd go bright red. I had a few friends I could speak to but I didn't like speaking in class at all. The feeling of burning up cos the teacher had asked me to read out loud was just the end.
And it's worse when everyone is staring at you.
Didn't you mix with the other then?
I'd spend quite a bit of time on my own, but I was lucky to have a group of friends who I was fine with and didn't feel shy with at all, although I did take a while to make new friends.
Just how shy were you really?
When I was younger, very. I had to go for Mum's shopping every week, which I didn't mind, but she'd make me take her old-granny shopping trolley. I was so scared my friends would see me with it and take the mick, I'd carry eight bags of shopping rather than use the trolley- and it was a 20-minute walk uphill.
Were people sympathetic?
My sister, who wasn't shy, used to ask why I didn't talk much. But yeah, they were fine cos they knew what I was like and they tried to understand as much as possible. Anyway, shyness isn't always a bad thing, you know, cos I wouldn't be where I am now if I hadn't been shy. I'm much stronger inside and know myself a lot better.
So how did you overcome your shyness?
One thing which brought me out of my shell was acting because I got the chance to play other people and to really express myself. It's weird to think that shy people might like acting, but if you look at a lot of big actors, they were either really shy or maybe still are. I suppose some people might say that shy people can hide behind the characters they play.
A lot of people are too shy for that though.
There's probably a difference between being really shy and being self-conscious, too. I didn't find acting embarrassing like some other shy or self-conscious people might do. It was something I wanted to do because it gave me the chance to really express myself. I wasn't pushed into at all by my family or anything. It was something that I chose to do because I knew it would help me, so I kept asking my mum about it. Of course, it might not be exactly the right thing to do for everybody that's shy.
Would you be where you are now if you hadn't done acting?
No, not at all because I used to hate having to read out in class before. My heart would start racing when the teacher walked over and I knew that she was going to pick me out. In fact the very first acting part I was given was as a mouse because I was so quiet all the time. I think I had two lines, heh-heh. But you have to start somewhere, don't you?
Are you still as shy nowadays?
Back then I was a bit of a loner and I do still like to have my own space. The big difference is that I can talk to anyone these days. After the time I've spent in the business I've become used to meeting new people and to getting on with them straightaway. Like everyone, I suppose, I can have my shy moments, but I don't think anyone would describe me as shy now.
If you're painfully shy. . .