The solemn-faced man entered the diner and took the lunch counter stool next to mine. The smiling waiter greeted the new customer and asked if he'd like the daily special.
"What is it?" queried the unsmiling newcomer.
"Beef tongue sandwich," the waiter replied, still smiling.
With the most disgusted expression on his face imaginable, the man growled, "I wouldn't THINK of eating something that came out of an animal's mouth!!"
"Yes, sir," the undaunted waiter said; "Would you like a menu,then?"
To which the finicky guy responded, "Oh, no -- just give me a fried egg sandwich please.

A woman walked into the pharmacy and asked for a vibrator. The pharmacist gestured with his index finger and said, "Come this way."
The woman replied, "If I could come that way, I wouldn't need a vibrator!"

I walked into Kinkos the other day and I saw Monica Lewinsky sitting on top of a copy machine without any underwear on. I asked her what she was doing and she replied, "I'm copying my resume!!"