Two sweet old ladies were sitting in the park one afternoon, feeding the birds, when a big burly guy walked up, and sat down beside them on the bench.
  After a minute, one of the old lady's whispered to the other. "Martha, this dirty bugger is masturbating right next to me!" "Oh my lord! Well, let's just leave, Agnes." her friend replied with disgust. "I can't." said the other. "He's using my hand."