A little humor about women
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because women who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.
Why do women have smaller feet than men? So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with, "A man once told me..."
How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
Why do men pass gas more than women do? Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, whom do you let in first? The dog of course. At least he'll shut up after you let him in.
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman that won't do what she's told.
What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced
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Bigamy is having one wife too many. Some say monogamy is the same.
Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, and Suffering.
Our last fight was my fault. My wife asked me, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"
What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 5 drinks.
Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad: That happens in every country, son.
A man inserted an advertisement in the classified: "Wife Wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can have whatever he wishes, provided that his mother-in-law gets double. The man thinks for a minute and then says, "OK, give me a million dollars and then beat me half to death."
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